* Ahem*
Please allow me to take the opportunity to apologize to everyone about that
'test' mesage that was sent out a couple of days ago. As was said in the
admin's explanation, it was the result of a careless mistake on my part and
was never intended to be sent to the FFML. Lord knows, if I was ever
inclined to find out if the FFML was up and running, I'd have sent some
public C+C as I usually do, rather than do something as annoyingly pontless
and spammy as sending a test message to the list.
And thanks to the admins for understanding what had happened and for
letting me back on. And so as to not make this little more than pointless
spam on top of accidental spam, here's some C+C:
Miashara wrote:
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the tenth and final chapter.
And it's about time.
In truth, you couldn't really blame him though.
Topaz finished the last knot and stood up, stretching his back.
Sodium was trussed up like a mummy, tied to a tall wooden post. Around
his feet was nearly half a cord of lumber. About seven other members of
the Dark Moon Clan were in attendance.
"WAII! I wanna live!" He cried.
he cried.
And everyone obviously doesn't get what they want. ^_^
"Well, everyone wants to live. Not everybody can though. Think of what
type of place it would be if everyone got to live, solely because they
wanted too. Sheesh."
hehe
Argentium took a few steps forward and climbed up so he was standing
right next to Sodium. "Now look. I'm with you on this one. Lets
Let's
"That's not fair! Just when I was finally getting to know him," Venus
grumped.
He wasn't meant for you anyway, dear.
"Tell me about it." Came
it," came
the agreement from her taller friend.
"Well, that'll certainly be the end of this little escapade." Luna
didn't like him, though she had never met him. From what she had heard,
he was a trouble maker, a criminal, a miscreant, and had a foul mouth.
Oddly enough, I sort of liked him.
"Come on, lets
let's
go down and say goodbye." Moon lead
led
"Some. Why?" The blond turned and looked at him curiously.
"During the fight, that man got really hurt. I'd like you to see what
you can do."
"Ok."
"Okay."
They made their way down the stairs and shortly met up with the two who
were waiting for them. They assembled into one big group.
"So, you're leaving." Jupiter
leaving," Jupiter
said after several minutes of
uncomfortable silence.
"Yeah. I'm going back to my own time,"
time."
He smiled wryly for a second.
"I'll probably see you there."
"You can't stay? Even for a little longer?" Venus asked.
"Nah. I have to get back." Cyanide shrugged. 'I'm gonna die in about an
hour. Can't let the little buggers be around me then. Besides, Pluto
just might be able to save me.' He kept the real reasons to himself.
I think offsetting the thoughts in something other than single quotes would
be a good idea. It's slightly jarring as it is.
They were all walking together now. They were out from under the Tokyo
tower and were now making their way towards an open area.
"Were you hurt at all?" Moon stepped forward, looking him over
carefully.
"Just a few bullet holes in me. And who needs their lungs, anyhow?" Cyanide
replied.
"A little."
"Let me see." She reached out and took hold of his sides, wondering if
the Silver Imperium Crystal could perhaps fix minor injuries.
Cyanide looked at for
Missing word. 'at her for' perhaps?
a moment before shrugging again. He removed his
coat and vest.
"Oh dear lord," Was
was
all Mercury could say, the rest being unable to
even say that. Cyanide's neck, back, legs, and arms were a solid mass of
bloody injury.
See. I was right. ^_^
"Yeah, I got busted up pretty bad."
"You need to go to the hospital!" Jupiter cried.
"Nah.
"Given how bad I'm messed up, I'd be better off heading for the morgue.
Probably drop dead the moment I get there. Save people from the
tranportaion hassle. I always try to help out others, don't you know."
crashed into a tree. He fell to the ground in a pile and moved no more.
Sounds bad for the bugger.
T-101 at the center. Twisting its arm in midair, it cracked her like a
whip and swung her into the ground. She hit and everything went white.
As opposed to black. Interesting contrast to the usual description of
unconsciousness.
"Jupiter Supreme-"
Tuxedo Mask, realizing his love was only a few feet from this metal
horror, rushed forward, cane swinging. It bounced harmlessly off its
armored innards. The thing shot a hand out and grasped the front of his
tuxedo. Its other hand swung down and crashed into his stomach. The
metallic fingers served as knives as they plunged deeply into his
stomach, gouging a great wound.
Looks really bad for the crew.
"Thunder DRAGON!" Jupiter released her lightening attack, hoping it
would make the thing back off. It didn't.
For a moment the visible metal glowed as electrical charges jumped to
the conducting metal. Then they flowed out, straight down through its
feet, and through Tuxedo Mask's body.
Oops.
He screamed as almost fifty amps tore through his flesh, instantly
frying half his internal organs. He collapsed and shimmered for a
moment, finally hitting the ground as Chiba Mamoru. The smell of burned
meat filled the air.
Ah, well, I never liked him anyway.
Jupiter came forward, desperate save
desperate to save
her Princess. As she tried to
tackle it from behind, she succeeded in making it release Moon.
It pulled both its hands free and reached behind it, digging its hands,
twisted like claws, deep into Jupiters' shoulders. Unable to penetrate
the material of the fuku, that fabric was pushed deep beneath the skin
of Jupiter as it closed its fingers around her shoulder blades. She was
swung up, and over it's
its
"Diamond! Come quick!" One of Sodium's flunkies yelled.
"What? What have you interrupted me-oh my." Diamond was forced to
silence as he came around the corner and caught sight of the events
portrayed on the Great Scrying Glass. He watched in shock for a few
minutes. "Go tell them to release Sodium. He is not to be harmed."
The toady rushed to the window and looked out. "Milord. Too late."
"Oh. Damn."
Oops. Ah well. Better luck next lacky. ^_^
It brought its first
fist
down in a over
an over
the tower, huddled in a circle. They had sought refuge and peace for a
moment to think so
think, so
"No. It'll just keep coming after us. And it may menace our families or
friends. We don't know how much it knows about us so
us, so
we need to end this
here and now."
now,"
He walked through a field of the sky, warm glows of azure and turquoise
bathed his face and arms, and through it all, the feeling of peace and
calm pervaded all.
Of course, it would have been much nicer if his entire lower body
wasn't on fire with pain, he felt like some
someone
After several seconds of wandering this decidedly non-crucial realm, he
decided that eternity was not going to be fun. In fact, it would quite
unpleasant.
"Death and eternity blow. This sucks."
"That because you haven't gotten to them yet. You're in a
hallucination."
Heh. So much for the white light, then
Cyanide whirled around and came face to face
face-to-face
with the one woman he
wanted to see least and most at the same time.
Ohh. A paradox. I like those.
Stepping from the
sapphire glow she
glow, she
"I feel honored. So, what's the purpose of this visitation? Here to
give me the magic wand o
of
power which will allow me to get into the fight
but will cause me too
to
"No. I just came to talk."
Cyanide shot her a look of 125% doubt.
Pluto: You think that's tough. I can do 150%. Can you beat that?
"I pulled you from your life, abused your love for me to make you come
back in time, risk death, help the one person you may truly hate, and
get injured repeatedly to help build something which will cause you more
pain and suffering than anything else in your life. I'm not totally
heartless.
But not so much that you can tell the difference.
"I don't hate her you
her, you
know. I tried but I can't. Even after all she
did."
"She loved you and never stopped, you know. After he died, the family
was just the two of you. And while we all loved her, she need
needed
After some time, the green haired
green-haired
"You made her
'forced her to make' sounds better to me
make a choice no one should ever have to make. You versus
her Queen."
"I should have won."
"Her service to her Queen was her life."
"Tough shit. I was her son."
And so now we know the secret. That's rough, yet explains everything. I can
see why he feels so betrayed, though.
The Senshi had lured the walking monstrosity into the maze of girders
that composed the center support column. There, with plenty of cover and
protection behind which they could hide, they were fighting the
glittering metallic assassin. And they were loosing.
losing
Nothing they did mattered it seemed and
seemed, and
this knowledge made more then
one of them want to cry. It seemed that everything they did was
meaningless. Venus Crescent Beams knocked it down, but they did not
prevent it from standing again. Mars' fire, Venus' ice, and Jupiter's
lightening were all meaningless. Nothing seemed to matter. And that
soulless murdered,
murderer
nothing seemed able too.
to
was. She pretended that it was real mainly to give the dream something
to work with. Any moment now, any moment at all, she would rise from her
slumber to hear her mother calling her, to realize that she was late for
school.
And then the readers would be seriously pissed.
then we'll all be fine." Moon had finally figured out why she couldn't
wake up. She wouldn't be able to till
until
The two heroines exchanged a look. Sink or swim, they told each other
in that glance. Now it was time for the final reckoning. There would be
not leaving this place.
As Moon swung a fist, Mars dove in to tackle it. She moved too fast for
it to react and just as Moon's blow hit its chest, Mars caught the back
of its knees. The two of them went down in a pile, which Moon dove into
in a moment.
It's not gonna work, girls. It never does. Too much time left in the fic.
And the effort was doomed before it began.
Now, when there was no room to maneuver, no place to dodge too,
to
Sailor Moon looked across to the eyes of Sailor Mars, and smiled. Usagi
would always love her, she
her; she
Moon jumped it, hoping to buy time for her friends to escape. She was
thrown into a wall for her troubles. Venus attempted to launch her
magic. A fist caught her in the face before she finished the first word.
Mars, now its target, did the sensible thing. She ducked to the other
side of the shaft, trying to escape. It followed her.
She bought the others time, at least.
She lunged behind some wires and hoped they would hold it for a moment
or two. She was rewarded when its initial lunge was stopped in a tangle
of cable. Long term relief was not forth coming
forthcoming
The ten ton elevator counterweight was roughly five feet from its face
and considering it had fallen the entire height of the tower, moving at
a goodly clip.
"Oh, suck."
suck,
And he's right. That just might be enough to stop it.
Three magical girls stepped out of the Tokyo tower and collapsed to the
ground.
"Hey Mars. You just killed the Terminator, what are you going to do
now?" Came Venus' voice after a moment. She wasn't sure why she called
it that, it just seemed fitting.
"Take a nap."
heh.
He smiled at the thought as he undressed and crawled into bed, without
brushing his teeth. He wiggled for a second, making himself comfortable,
and began to drift off.
"Hello, ass munch."
"Howdy, butt wipe," Argentium replied.
Cyanide smiled, a large, deep, and most unfriendly smile. "Would you
care to put any money on that?"
"Up to a thousand dollars," Argentium offered.
"W-w-w-what!? Why aren't lying on the ground twitching?" Argentium
cried.
"Heroin, my boy. Heroin. It got me Exiled
exiled
>from Crystal Tokyo once, and
it'll be the death of me yet. But it'll be the death of you first."
Heh. nice line. So that was part of what he was thrown out for. Simple, yet
effective.
The guards rushing into the room to find a horrifying scene. It was so
unspeakably bad that I can't speak of it. Typing counts.
The ending seemed a bit abrupt, almost too fast. The revelation about
Cyanide's origins and true identity were nicely handled. I had him figured
more as a lover than a son. Can't think of much more to say other than
overall this was a good work which I enjoyed reading.
D.B. Sommer