The next part of the episode... all comments welcome. ^_^
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Pastpresent
by Susan Doenime
R1/2 characters and backstory are the creations and property of Takahashi
Rumiko. Used without permission. No challenge to copyrights should be
inferred or taken.
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Pastpresent homepage at: http://www.thekeep.org/~mike/pastpresent.html
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Pastpresent 6 - Tourism, Part 2
The trip to Laos stands out in my mind for several
reasons, not the least of which was my own imbecility.
Imbecility is the only label I can apply to having
willingly gone along on a trip with Takashi after the
Sumatra disaster.
Then, too, this was the first expedition we had
taken with your mother and Kiri in tow. Before, we just
had to worry about saving our own skins from being
sacrificed to rat gods, demonic llamas, and the shog...
well... never mind. Nodoka's presence added a whole new
level of worry all by itself.
But it was Inji who really punctuated the trip, and
Kiritsubo.
I had known her for years, and counted her as one of
my best friends, but there had always been that other
side of her, the one I had avoided asking about. I was very
upright back then, you see... not entirely honest, perhaps,
but honorable. Kiri's criminal ties made me somewhat
uncomfortable. It was pretty easy to ignore - she never
flaunted them - but it was always there, in the
background.
Ignorance is never a defense, especially willful
ignorance.
--------------------------
The grimy riverboat hummed down the Mekong at a far
greater clip than one would expect. Not that this was saying
much; the rotting wooden hull looked as through the only
direction it could make great speed in was straight down. The
entire ship had the sort of decaying awfulness that can really
only be fixed by a good flamethrower and a few gallons of
gasoline.
For that matter, you could say the same thing about most
of the crew.
And yet here they were, Genma thought dazedly, having a
formal dinner on deck.
Well, semiformal. Soun could be proper anywhere. Inji
had a sort of casually relaxed look that would have fit a
concert hall in Vienna, and Kiri... well.. she'd washed her face,
and she was wearing shoes, and that was probably as formal as
Kiritsubo ever got. They'd found a table, and the cups and
dishes were all set correctly, even if they were tin. A few
candles burned in empty bottles.
And then there were the eight armed guerillas and the
amazing sentient pond slime that served as the crew. That was
really what spoiled the atmosphere.
"So, Inji-kun," Kiri was saying, sipping at her tea, "what
brings you to Laos?"
Genma watched the fedora-clad gangster shrug. "I'm
looking for something."
"In Luang Prabang, eh?" she prodded. "Another one of
those antiques you like?"
Inji smiled slightly. "I can't exactly say that I've come
all this way to do my grocery shopping, I suppose. Yeah, I'm
here for an item. And you're on vacation?"
"Yeah. You know, the lure of the open river, the scenery,
the exotic atmosphere..."
"...The guerrilla warfare, the communists, the mines and
bombs, the human vermin... of course, Kiri-kun. I can see why
Laos was the vacation getaway of your dreams."
"It's very exclusive, and fits my modern, active lifestyle.
And it's very ethnic. I'll probably wind up getting in touch with
my inner child."
Inji smirked slightly. "You have no inner child, Kiri-kun.
If you ever did, you beat it to death years ago."
"You're one to talk," she said stiffly.
"I'm my own inner child," Inji said lazily. "I look at the
world with childlike innocence, wonder, and joy. And a very
sharp knife, of course. I'm afraid my inner child doesn't play
well with others."
"I expect someone will spank him, one of these days."
"Several people have tried," Inji said. His eyes glittered.
"You tried once yourself, as I remember. Fairly well, too."
Genma felt the temperature across the table drop several
degrees. "It was a good try," Kiri said blandly. "Could have
worked."
"Would you try it again?"
"Not on your life." She winced. "That perhaps wasn't the
best phrase to use. No. Once was enough."
"Hm, yes." Inji glanced around the table to where Soun
was busy eating the last of his rice and studiously ignoring the
conversation. "But I'm being rude. Your friends have no idea
what we're talking about, do they?"
"No," Kiri said in a low hiss. "They don't."
He smiled. "It's a good story. Kiritsubo and I were once
the best of friends - well, we still are, of course - and we did
quite a bit of joint work. Mutual favors. I even had her on
salary for rough work." He sighed theatrically. "Alas. I was
quite surprised when she helped try to kill me. Though I
understand she was compensated for it."
Soun choked on his food. Genma just stared at Kiri,
waiting for her to correct Inji.
"An offer I couldn't refuse, yeah," Kiri said matter-of-
factly. "I was more or less the only one who could do it."
"A bomb, of all things, in my car. It's not a very fancy
car, but I am attached to it." Inji shook his head sadly. "Luckily
it's hard to get good help, and someone sold out the news that
Kiri-kun here had taken the thirty pieces of silver. So I failed
to go up in a ball of flame."
"Win some, lose some," Kiri said.
Inji absently tossed an orange from the fruitbowl into
the air, caught it, and tossed it again. "Normally, I'd simply
have cut her throat and been done with it." His other hand
suddenly whipped out of his jacket, a silver blur in it catching
the candlelight. Genma had just enough time to recognize it as
some sort of knife before it vanished back beneath the jacket.
The orange fell to the table, falling apart into 20 exactly-
proportioned slices. "But Kiri-kun here did save my life once.
At some risk to her own, I might add. So I simply called that
debt even, relayed my displeasure, and drove my point home."
He smiled dryly. "The look on her face for most of that hour
was priceless."
Kiri just shrugged, her grip on her cup causing
indentations to appear in the cheap metal. Genma exchanged a
brief glance with Soun, neither of them liking what they were
seeing and hearing.
For one thing, the content of the conversation aside,
Genma doubted he could have drawn a knife with the speed or
precision Kuonji had just shown. Up until now, he had been
fairly certain he could take the man in the leather jacket.
Now... now he wasn't sure. Judging from the guardedly
thoughtful expression on Soun's face, he wasn't the only one.
"But all friendships have their low points," Inji said
lightly, waving a dismissing hand. "Kiri betrays me, I make her
shriek for an hour or two, and everyone's friends again in the
morning. We understand each other now."
"Very well," Kiri said flatly.
Kuonji stood, beamed, and brushed a few crumbs from his
front. "Wonderful repast. Best moldy beans and rice I've had in
ages. My compliments to the chef. Have you decided on a good
story regarding Miss Nodoka?"
"Well, er, ah," Soun and Genma began.
"It appears not. I'll ask again tomorrow. Good night
gentlemen, Kiritsubo." Inji gave them a mock bow and strolled
off, disappearing from sight down the forward hatch.
A silence followed. Kiri stared at her teacup for a few
seconds, then stood up and walked off towards the bow,
leaving Genma and Soun alone at the table.
"Well, Kasigi?" Soun finally said.
"He's good," Genma said. "Faster than me at drawing, but
I'm not an iaidoka."
"I agree, but that's not what I meant."
He spread his hands, feeling a little ill. "I don't know. I'm
sure we didn't hear the whole story. I really can't see Kiri
trying to kill someone, or betraying a friend. For that matter, I
can't see her as being friends with that viper."
Soun looked uncomfortable. "She is a bit of a... that is..."
He sighed. "Kasigi, we both know she has little if any respect
for the law. Kuonji seems exactly the sort of person she would
be friends with, and as for trust among thieves..."
"There's a big difference between being involved in a
little shady business and trying to kill someone. Or doing
whatever it is that scumbag did to even things out." Several
unpleasant pictures sprang into Genma's mind, and he had to
fight down a surprisingly strong urge to go find Inji and punch
him through the side of the boat.
"She didn't deny it," Soun observed. "The opposite. And..."
Genma stood, a growing annoyance showing on his face.
"I'm going to go ask her about it, and that'll be the end of it."
"Are you sure that's wise, Kasigi?"
Probably not, he thought. "Yeah. It needs to be asked. Why
don't you go make sure Nod..." he stopped, glancing around. "The
baggage, I mean. Why don't you go check on the baggage?"
"A fine idea," Soun said, rising. "We don't want any
accidents, especially in light of what we just heard." He shook
his head in bafflement. "I admit, I'm still unclear on how Nodo...
our baggage is connected to that scorpion."
"Everyone but us seems to have had the pleasure of
meeting him before. Just keep on your toes, Soun. That guy's
dangerous."
"So am I," Soun said, miffed.
"Yes, but Inji's a ravening wolf to your irritated bunny
rabbit. Not the same level of dangerous." Soun began to sputter,
and Genma walked off towards the bow. "Just watch out."
He didn't catch all of Soun's reply, but got the general
idea behind it.
After five minutes, he found Kiritsubo slouched in the
ropewell of the bow, absently sipping at her dented cup and
watching the Mekong unfold in the dark. She nodded slightly as
he sat down across from her.
"He get to you?" he finally said.
Kiri shrugged. "A bit. Inji gets to everyone, I think. I know
him better than most, so he gets to me more."
Genma hesitated, not sure how to phrase the question he
really wanted to ask. "About the conversation just now..."
She glanced at him. "Yeah?"
"I was just wondering... I don't know. He doesn't seem the
sort you'd be friends with. He doesn't seem the sort of be
friends with anything without scales and fangs, actually."
"We were pretty good friends, actually," Kiri said shortly.
"Or close enough. I did work for him... was his right-hand man,
so to speak. He trusted me about as much as he trusts anyone."
"Work?"
"Yeah. I can go into detail if you want."
He hesitated, the automatic frown of disapproval
starting to come to his face, the usual 'no' leaping to his lips.
Then he remembered that this was, in fact, what he had come
to ask her about. "Okay."
"Robbery was the most common. Some transport of stolen
goods. A few narcotics deals." She paused, waiting for his
reaction.
"Drugs?" he said, something akin to shock moving over
his face. "Just the light stuff, right? Weed, that sort of thing?"
"Not really." She shrugged, her face unreadable. "The hard
narcotics are the most profitable. I oversaw distribution.
Everyone involved came out with a lot of money, although the
addicts probably spent it fast."
He sat back, confusion mixing with a sort of dull pain.
Drug dealers were supposed to be hateable scum like Inji, not
your best friend... he couldn't imagine, couldn't picture the
person he knew doing that. "Why?"
"Money, mostly." She looked at him steadily. "I also did
payment collection and object lessons, now and then, when
someone wasn't settling his bills."
And I've always appreciated Kiritsubo's skill at breaking
bones to order, Inji had said. Genma stared at her as if seeing
her for the first time. Maybe he was, part of him said. She
didn't look guilty, or ashamed, or even repentant, and it
occurred to him that this might be because she was none of
those. "Money again?"
"Mostly."
He let out a deep breath and looked at the water. "I'm not
really sure what to say, Kiri. I never knew you were..."
She glared at him. "Oh, please. You didn't want to know.
You didn't ask, and I didn't tell, and that's been us for about
five or ten years."
"I know." He shook his head, trying to make sense of it.
"But I still didn't think... I mean, drugs? Legbreaking? That's
not you!"
"Sure it's me!" Her hand shot out, pushing him back
against the rail as she stared fixedly at him. "Do you think I do
this for a hobby? Like Nodoka and that stupid sword-art thing,
or Soun and his kung-fu kick? The law says I ain't got jack, so
screw it! I'll do what I want so that I can eat."
He shoved her arm away angrily. "Oh, come on! I'm not
exactly crawling in money either, and I've never peddled..."
"So?" she hissed. "Look at you! You slave away for next to
nothing, you have to do jobs like this to keep your head above
water... but hey, you're nobly poor, so it's okay! I don't give a
shit about any of that, Genma! We can't all be perfect samurai
like you!"
"You don't have to be a samurai to not push dope and kill
your friends for money!" She flinched, but he kept going, the
hurt and anger happy to have a verbal outlet. "Does this mean
you'd sell me out for enough-"
He barely managed to move his hand up in time to block
her punch. His palm creaked from the impact and slapped back
against his face anyway; she was quite a bit stronger than he
was. But he was faster, and he took the opportunity to kick her
legs out from under her.
Kiri climbed to her feet as he backed warily away,
uncertain of what to do. They had done this a hundred times
before, but that had been with the old Kiri.
But, of course, this was the old Kiri too.
She glared at him. "No, I wouldn't, asshole. Thanks for
your damn trust."
Genma forced himself to keep his face impassive,
reminding himself that she was the one who'd let him down,
not vice versa. "Well? You tell me that you tried to murder one
of your old buddies, and I should just... what, shrug and say,
'That's nice?'"
"You're not Inji," she said slowly, the anger and energy
seeming to drain out of her. "He was my friend, but he... it
needed to be done, Genma. I'm just sorry it didn't work." She
sagged, the weight of the world suddenly seeming to appear on
her shoulders. "That was the thing that bothered me the most,
betraying him like that. But I didn't do that for money. I did it
because it was the right thing to do. The people who I did it for
were... well... I suppose I got sentimental." She chuckled
humorlessly. "Hell of a way to go not-quite-straight."
He hesitated, trying to pick his way through the mess of
emotions and ethics lying broken in his head. "Do you still do
all that stuff?"
She shook her head. "I still deal in some stuff that isn't
exactly aboveboard, and most of the machines I work on are
hot, but I don't do narcotics or object lessons anymore. It
wasn't..." She stopped, seeming uncertain.
"It wasn't you?"
"It was too damn much me," she said in a low voice.
"That's why I got out. While I still didn't really enjoy it. While
part of me was still bothered by it. The bomb was sort of my
resignation notice."
Genma nodded. "So what did he do afterwards?"
Kiri went a little grey. "Nothing I really want to go into.
There was a lot of pain, and that pretty much sums it up. But it
could have been worse, in a lot of ways. Nothing permanently
damaged, no major scarring, no, uh, gender-related stuff. And
he didn't kill me, mostly because of his weird sense of honor."
Genma scowled. "I'm gonna take his 'weird sense of honor'
and shove it up his-"
"I don't think you can," Kiri said bluntly. He frowned,
feeling somewhat hurt, and her expression softened a bit. "Not
that you aren't good and all, but Inji's a killer. Don't fight him
unless someone's life is at stake, okay? Please?"
He sighed, looking away. "I don't like people who hurt my
best friend."
"I know you don't. That's part of why..." She stared at the
deck. "Am I still your friend?"
He hesitated for a second, and then nodded. "Of course you
are, Kiri. Jeez. Just..." He shrugged awkwardly. "I should have
asked you before, but I guess I was scared that you'd tell me. I
still don't like it."
"That's who I am, Genma," she said in a small voice,
looking self-conscious for perhaps the first time since he'd
known her. "I'm out of the really serious stuff, but I'm still in
the game. And even the serious stuff never bothered me all
that much. Can you deal with that?"
He laughed, wondering exactly how much sleep he was
going to lose over this. "I'd hafta be really stupid not to have
noticed that you aren't exactly on the up-and-up, Kiri. I don't
like that either, but the two of us is bigger than that. Just... let
me know if you start to slip back, okay?"
"What, so you can give me a lecture about honor and
ethics?"
"No, so I can beat you to a pulp, cycle thug."
She chuckled, and shook her fist at him. "Try it, punk."
"Not today. C'mon, stop staring at the river and help me
figure out a way to get us to Luang Prabang in one piece."
"Huh." She drummed her fingers against the rail, thinking,
and then glanced up sourly. "I hate to say this, but Nodoka's
going to have to room with me. It's the only place on the ship
Inji and his goons won't barge into."
Genma smirked. "Actually, we already stuck her in there.
Think you two can last the trip without killing each other?"
Part of him was alarmed by how easily they had fallen back
into the familiar old rhythms, as if nothing had happened, and
he wondered if he could really accept her as what she was. And
he wondered why it didn't really seem to make that much of a
difference.
"Mmmm. Can I hogtie and gag her?"
"I think she might take offense to that."
"Figures. Yeah, I'll put up with her for the time being."
She grinned wickedly, and glanced at him. "Of course, we could
just stick you and her in one of the smaller rooms down in
steerage and nail the door shut..."
"Ah, no," he said quickly, sweating in spite of himself.
"What? I'm sure Nodoka would jump at the idea..."
"Yes, I know. Forget it." He'd rather just fight Inji, Genma
decided. Seal Nodoka and him up in a small room for long
periods of time, and who knew what might happen?
Not that it was an entirely unpleasant thought...
She'd drag you to the nearest altar, his higher thought
processes pointed out, shuddering in terror. If Inji was the
only person around, she'd probably ask him to perform the
wedding ceremony. "Forget it," he repeated.
Kiri just shook her head. "You two have one weird
relationship. Doncha ever, I don't know, put the moves on her or
something?"
"I don't dare to. If I give an inch, she'll take as many
miles as she can." He kicked absently at the rail, feeling the
familiar mix of fondness, frustration, and ambivalence he
usually had when talking about Nodoka and him as a couple. "To
tell you the truth, I'm not sure how I feel about this whole
girlfriend thing."
"Don't you like her?"
"Of course I do." It was the truth, too; there were few
things he enjoyed more than spending time in Nodoka's
company, just talking or sparring or... or... or doing just about
anything that didn't involve her wrapping herself around his
arm. "But I'm not really at the point in my life where I can
manage a relationship, you know? I'm busy all the time, my
heart's in the Art... if I ever get serious with someone, I'd want
to give all of myself to them. Everything, every waking
moment. I'd want to build my life around them, and I can't do
that yet." He stopped, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "There's
plenty of time. Nodoka or whoever will just have to wait."
Kiri had turned to look out at the water; Genma saw the
back of her shoulders shrug. "Yeah, that's like you. Solid and
dependable and annoying. But people don't wait forever, you
know. Sometimes they leave, or you lose them, and you never
see it coming."
"I don't think Nodoka'll make a break for it anytime soon,"
he said confidently. "Not unless Soun gets a whole lot more
suave."
"I really doubt that's gonna happen," Kiri snorted. "Soun's
as goofy as they come... in a nice way, some of the time, but in
a real annoying way the rest." She straightened, stretched, and
began to climb out of the ropewell. "C'mon. I'd better go put
your baggage in her place."
Genma winced, and followed her out of the ropewell. A
drop of water glistened on the rail for a second, catching the
sun and the river, then soaked into the rough wood and
vanished. Another drop, kicked up by the prow, replaced it a
few minutes late, seemingly no different than the first.
* * * *
Saotome Nodoka was not a happy woman.
The trip had sounded like a lot of fun when she had first
heard about it. Sure, Genma and Soun had sworn up and down
that it was going to be a tour of the less pleasant parts of
hell... but they had a tendency to exaggerate juuuuust a bit. If
they told her they had seen an ocean, it probably meant they
had fallen in a puddle.
Of all the times for them to have been telling the pure,
unvarnished truth...
Irritated, she glanced around the cabin Genma had
crammed her in. The best thing you could say about it was that
it was cleaner than the rest of the ship, which was damning
with faint praise.
And then there was the homicidal maniac outside, the
homicidal maniac's gunmen, the criminals serving as the crew,
and Biki Kiritsubo. Most PRISONS in Japan contained a more
upright collection of people.
No, this was definitely not fun. Although she had to admit
that it was impressive how... comradely Soun and Genma were
being. They'd been acting almost like a team for the entire trip;
back home, the same amount of time would have seen at least
four massive fights, seven loudly-shouted melodramatic death
threats, 28 insults, and at least one instance of fairly
substantial property damage.
The cabin door began to open. Nodoka quickly ducked
behind the bed, then stood back up as she saw Kiri carefully
closing the door behind her. "Kiritsubo? What's going on?"
Kiri gave her a sickly grin. "Inji's going to be staying for
a while, which means you get to hide in my cabin for the
duration." She noticed Nodoka's expression, and rolled her eyes.
"I'm not thrilled about it either, Saotome. Don't step on my toes
and I won't step on yours. Much."
"Just make sure you bathe regularly and I'll be fine,"
Nodoka retorted.
"Oh, I'm real hygienic, samurai chick. Want me to see if I
can find you some silk sheets and fresh flowers?"
"I'm sure you could get just about anything if you bent
your hands to it, Biki-san," Nodoka said sweetly. "Anything not
nailed down, at least."
"At least I use my hands and not the rest of my anatomy."
Nodoka flushed. "Yes, I imagine you do use your hands,
poor dear. Just don't resort to such things while I'm in the
room, and not if we're going to share the bed..."
Kiri took a step forward, an unpleasant look in her eyes.
"Oh, big talk from the chick with the blunt sword. Been oiling
it well while Genma's busy?"
This time she turned bright crimson, which made Kiri
raise both eyebrows speculatively. "Whoa, I hit a sensitive
spot there? Full points for perversity, although you should
really try to rely on Genma instead of long metal p-" Kiri
stopped, glancing down at the metal sword tip that had
suddenly whipped up to the base of her throat. "Nice draw.
Please don't touch me with that without washing it first."
Nodoka snarled and glared at her. "I'm supposed to share a
room with you? I don't think so. Sleep in the hall. Sleep in the
hold. Sleep in the bilges for all I care!"
"I'm overcome with joy too, Saotome, but we ain't got no
choice," Kiri said patiently, using the reasonable, calm voice
most people reserved for the young, the elderly, or the very
stupid. "My room is safe because it's my room, and Inji knows
I'll fold anyone who comes in here into a cute bit of human
origami. If he finds out you're here, he'll probably try to kill
you, and then Genma and Soun will try to kill him, and then the
nice men with the automatic weapons will try to kill
everybody. So we can either keep you in here or stuff you in a
crate and nail the lid down, and I was outvoted. Deal with it."
Nodoka lowered the iaito and threw up her free hand in
disgust. "Fine! Great! Just... I don't know, don't plot any bank
robberies or muggings in front of me."
"I'm a mechanic, not Al Capone." Kiri strolled over to the
bed, flopped down on her half of it, and produced a tattered
paperback from somewhere in her jacket. "I'm gonna read. Stare
in a mirror, or hug your sword, or whatever it is you do to
relax."
"You can read?"
"I'm sorry, did you want to live to see tomorrow?"
"All right, sorry." She glanced curiously at it. "So what is
it?"
"Shayo, by Dazai Osamu."
Nodoka blinked in surprise. "That's pretty sophisticated
stuff."
"Yeah, I look at the big words and make peasantlike
grunts of incomprehension."
"I didn't mean it like that," Nodoka said, irritated. "I was
serious. My idea of great literature is novels with pink covers
and bare-chested men on the jacket."
Kiri wrinkled her nose. "Can't stand that stuff. The
heroines mope around the whole book and do nothing. Well,
nothing except get some, repeatedly."
"Yup," Nodoka said smugly. "I'm easily amused, I guess."
That prompted a chuckle from her reluctant roommate.
"Or something. Okay, I read cheap pulp thrillers now and then.
But I like the masters better."
"How'd you get into that sort of thing?"
Kiri shrugged, eyes still on the page. "I read a lot at the
home. I think... I sorta have a vague memory of my parents
reading to me, but that's probably just wishful thinking on my
part."
"I don't remember my father," Nodoka said wistfully. "I
have a mental picture of Mother, but it seems to get hazier
every day."
Kiri nodded. Their generation had a lot of people who
couldn't remember their parents' faces. "The bombing?"
"Not for Mother, no. It was after the war. A training
accident of some kind. I think that's why grandfather stopped
training me and took on Genma and Soun; Mother's death hit him
pretty hard, and he didn't want her daughter in the same sort of
danger."
"Well, you're in a whole new sort of danger." Kiri glanced
at her sharply. "So how _did_ you get away from Inji? Not to
mention knock him out? I know for a fact you ain't that good."
"These two weird Chinese women showed up, knocked him
out, asked me about an ancient wandering pervert master, and
then vanished."
"I didn't know you were into hallucinogens."
"I'm not! It really happened like that!"
Kiri rubbed her chin dubiously. "If you say so..." She
stopped, blinking. "Waitaminute, two Chinese chicks with
swords?"
"That's right," Nodoka said eagerly. "Do you know
something about them?"
"Not exactly, but weren't they in the theatre the night
you had your date with Soun?"
"I don't know, I wasn't-" Nodoka stopped, and narrowed
her eyes. "Wait, how do you know who was in the theatre?"
"Er, ah, lucky guess?"
"You made a lucky guess that two Chinese women with
swords were in the theatre?" Nodoka glared at her. "I thought
there was something odd going on."
"Hey, I was hoping you and Soun'd get it on! I was on your
side!"
"I am _not_ going to 'get it on' with Soun," Nodoka
frostily informed her. "I'm already taken."
"But Soun's a lot better than a metal sword." Nodoka
turned purple as Kiri frowned thoughtfully. "Well, probably.
Okay, nevermind, stick with the sword."
Nodoka felt her left eye start to twitch rapidly. She
calmly reached for her iaito.
* * * *
Soun and Genma stared at the door to Kiri's room and
listened to the muffled shrieking and crashing coming from
behind it.
"I think they're busy, Tendo."
"Undoubtedly, Kasigi."
"You know how women are."
"Oh, certainly. Girl talk."
"DIEYOUPSYCHOTICGUTTERRATAAAARGH," the door
commented.
"Feminine issues," Genma carefully replied.
"CMEREYOURICHFLOOZYOW!BITCH," the door pointed out.
"We men probably wouldn't understand," Soun said
gravely. "Women are so much more sensitive than we are."
The unmistakable sound of someone's head meeting wood
drifted out.
Genma winced. "Well, at least they'll be relatively safe
from Inji in there."
"Indeed. Now we just must worry about Taka..." Soun
blinked in alarm. "Kasigi! Where did Kuno-san go?"
"Did you, hmm, want something?" Takashi asked.
Genma spun. "Takashi? Where the hell did you come
from?"
The archeologist smiled in his usual benign, slightly
disconnected way. "Oh, I was just here and there."
Soun picked himself up off the floor, thumping his chest
a few times to restart his heart. "Kuno-san, must you be so...
quiet?"
Takashi shrugged apologetically. "I'm afraid that, hmm,
Inji is a very vigilant fellow. Stealth, silence, and finesse are
called for."
"YAAARGHGETOFFAMEBITCHARRRGH," said the door,
followed by the sound of glass breaking.
Takashi raised an eyebrow.
"The girls are rooming together," Genma said with
artificial cheer. "They're just giving the room a breaking in... or
up... I'm sure it's just a friendly discussion, anyway."
"NOTEETHNOTEETHAIIIIIYEE," the door added.
"How nice," Takashi said. "I remember rooming my first
year of university. Quite jolly. I don't think we broke as much
furniture over each others' heads as Kiritsubo and Nodoka-san
seem to be doing, but I expect women, hmm, do things
differently."
"It's just until we get to Luang Prabang," Genma said.
"Then Kuonji can go his way, and we can do ours."
Takashi shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid that Inji-san is
here for the same objects of historical value as, hmm, as we
are. We'll probably have to deal with him for quite a while... or
we would, anyway." He beamed. "I've made the most _brilliant_
arrangement to slow him down! We should be well out of Laos
by the time he, hmm, even reaches the Temple of Five Thousand
Forms of Highly Gratuitous Agonizing Death!"
"Ah," Soun said resignedly. "That's the name of the place
we're going, right?"
Takashi nodded. "I believe it's on the World Heritage
List."
"But it's not really a godforsaken deathtrap that even a
suicidal fool would avoid, right?" Genma said, a certain
maniacal cheer creeping into his voice. "The name is just
exaggeration, yeah?"
"Oh, the name is just a metaphor, of course. For, hmm,
turnip fertility if I remember the journal article correctly.
Safe as houses."
"But...?" Genma and Soun said as one.
Takashi coughed apologetically. "I'm sure that there's a
perfectly innocuous reason why the last 23 heavily-armed
expeditions failed to return."
"Ah," Genma and Soun said.
"Possibly they got lost."
"No Shoggoths, though, right?" Genma said hopefully.
"Please don't say that name, Kasigi..." Soun muttered.
Takashi laughed. "Dear me, no. Even if such an absurd
thing actually existed..."
"I saw you turn a flamethrower on it, it threw Genma 50
metres, and it ate three of the guides," Soun muttered darkly.
"Not to mention the thing it did with the ball lightning and
ichor."
"Even if such a thing existed instead of being a fever-
induced hallucination," Takashi said firmly, "It wouldn't be
anywhere near the place."
"Well, that's something," Genma muttered.
"It would, hmm, be far too frightened by the terrible
hideous powers of the equally imaginary gods sleeping fitfully
beneath the surface, only lightly chained and ready to send any
trespasser into an eternity of soul-tearing agony in the cold
lands of nightmare and shadow, where the mad things of fallen
Tsygh-Shadoth lie chained in stygian darkness gnawing on the
bowels of the damned. But, of course, that's all just silly
native superstition." He beamed. "I'm off to bed. Sleep well! Ta-
ta!"
Genma and Soun watched him amble cheerfully down the
corridor.
"Let's just throw him overboard and go home, Tendo."
"It is tempting, Kasigi."
"Probably not compatible with our honor as true martial
artists, though."
"Alas, Kasigi."
Genma sighed, and listened to the merry gurgling of
someone's head being stuffed in a toilet that was coming from
Kiri's room. "Never again, Tendo."
"Never again, Kasigi."
They turned and went to find their respective rooms,
each somewhat grateful that they weren't sharing one. After
all, the type of warm bonding and blossoming friendship that
Kiri and Nodoka were currently experiencing wasn't for
everybody.
* * * *
Kiritsubo woke up with a headache, which wasn't
surprising considering the furniture that Nodoka had
introduced to her skull. And the metal sword. And the mirror.
And a washbasin.
It had been a better fight than she had expected; Nodoka
was actually fairly well trained. But formally trained, which
meant that she struck with lightning speed, exquisite force,
and then expected Kiri to do the usual thing and fall over. When
the mechanic instead just swore and tossed her opponent into
a wall, it threw Nodoka somewhat off. It threw Nodoka into a
lot of things, actually.
They had eventually come to an understanding, which was
that Kiri would hold Nodoka's head underwater, and Nodoka
would make glubbing noises and pass out. Kiri was happy with
this solution, and Nodoka hadn't argued. Not so's that Kiri could
understand, anyway. The spasmodic jerking and glubbing might
have been protest, she supposed, but then again maybe not.
She had been graceful in victory and given Nodoka half of
the bed. A mistake, she thought, shivering in her shirt and
undergarments. The rich chick had stolen the covers.
Wincing, she rolled over and began to tug at the warm-
looking roll of sheets and blanket huddled on the other side of
the bed. "Hgmmm, Sauutumi, giimi blankit," she mumbled.
A bare leg emerged from the heap and kicked her in the
shins. "Gyt yzzzm awn," Nodoka's voice slurred.
Kiri snarled, and stared balefully at the cozy, warm-
looking, comfortable pile. She really wanted to go back to
sleep, but she could feel the cold air that was rising from the
Mekong freezing the skin off her. Getting out of bed and getting
the rest of her clothes on was one option, but that would
involve actually standing up and moving around.
"Gimme," she repeated, yanking the visible leg to add
emphasis. A groan of protest issued from the blanket heap, and
another leg shot out to kick Kiri in the side of the head.
Right, Kiri thought viciously, that did it. With the grace
of a inebriated turtle, she lunged across the bed, grabbed two
handfuls of blanket, and began to pull. A groan of protest went
up, and the two exposed legs began to kick at her.
"Gimme the damn blanket," she snapped blearily,
grappling the heap in an attempt to keep her hold while
avoiding the punishing feet. "Cold."
"Gwaaay," the heap of blankets said, thrashing against
her grip.
"Gimme," Kiri insisted, pulling at the struggling heap of
covers. When this tactic showed limited success, she
clambered atop the pile and began to bang the bedside
washbasin over what she guessed to be the head area.
*CLANGCLANGCLANG* "Gimme!"
"Fuuuuuuukufffffff!"
Behind her, delicately, a throat was cleared.
Kiri froze. The heap froze. Slowly, she turned her head to
look.
"I'm interrupting something, aren't I?" Kuonji Inji said
mildly. He eyed the scene with interest. "Although I'm not sure
what."
"I thought I told you to keep the hell out?" Kiritsubo
snapped, a now familiar chill running down her back. She hadn't
been afraid of Inji when she worked for him - well, except in
an abstract sort of way - but now.... well, it was amazing the
change an hour could make. "Ever hear of knocking?"
Inji rapped on the door, looking slightly apologetic. "Of
course. Terribly rude of me. I just stopped by to complain about
the screaming and smashing that's been coming from your
room. I thought you valued your privacy?"
"Er, yes, haha, well..." Kiri said weakly, mind working
frantically for a way to get Inji out without getting him
suspicious. "Well. Uh." Brilliant, she screamed at herself.
"You seem to be in bed with someone," Inji observed. "And
I passed Mr. Kasigi and Mr. Tendo on deck a short while ago.
Have we met?"
"Uh, um," Kiri said, mental wheels spinning desperately.
Yes, why was there someone in her bed? Especially after she
had made such a fuss about a private room? Bed... private... "It's
my lover," she declared. That should satisfy his curiosity, and
hopefully get him to make a departure...
Inji raised an eyebrow. "Your lover?"
"What, aren't I entitled to one? Women have needs too,
y'know."
"I'm aware of that, yes. But those are female legs."
"So they are," Kiri said cheerfully, fighting back the urge
to scream in frustration. She glanced down at where Nodoka's
knees emerged from the covers, and then shrugged. "And?"
"You never struck me as the type..."
"I wear a leather jacket, I got short hair, I'm big and
butch, and I work on motorcycles. What do you want, a neon
sign?" In fact, far too many people assumed that she DID like
women - which was most definitely not the case; she was as
straight as the line between two points. Not that anyone would
believe that if word of this ever got out. She mentally swore.
"Got a problem with it?"
Inji looked somewhat dubious. "I seem to recall you
ogling James Dean..."
Kiri started to open her mouth to give a firm denial, and
then the arm emerged from the heap, snaked up her leg, and...
Her eyes crossed. Nodoka was going to die.
"Ah, not now darling," she simpered desperately.
Ohhhhhhhhgodgodgod..........
A throaty purr emerged from the heap, the husky sound in
it making Kiri want to run like hell.
Inji just stared, then shook his head slowly. "You think
you know someone. Um. I'll let myself out. Have fun, you two."
Kiri waited for the door to close, counted to five, and
then ripped the hand away, tore off the blanket, picked up
Nodoka by the throat, and began to hammer her into a wall.
"What....*WHAM*.... the hell... *WHAM* was that... *WHAM*
supposed to be... *WHAM* you perverted little..."
"Gaaaacckhewasn'tbuyingithewasgoingtokillusstopit!"
Livid with barely-contained fury, she shoved her face
into Nodoka's, which was rapidly turning an interesting shade
of purple. "If you ever, ever do that again, I am going to stuff
you in a turbine, hit 'frappe', and feed the bits to a cat which
I'll buy for that very purpose! You get me, swordkisser?"
"gaaaaaaaaaaaaack."
"Is that a yes?"
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh."
Shuddering, Kiri dropped her. "I mean, gah, you didn't have
to do that with such... I dunno... FEELING. Where'd you learn...
no... no, nevermind, please don't answer that, I feel violated
enough as it is..."
"He wasn't buying it!" Nodoka croaked, rubbing her throat.
"He was going to have you take off the blanket in a few
seconds! You think I enjoyed that?"
"It sure sounded like it!"
"I just pretended it was Genma!"
Kiri stared at her. "Genma ain't got the sort of equipment
you were handling, sword chick."
"I was-"
"Drop it!" Kiri said, wondering if she was going to have to
throw up. "Let's just... forget this whole incident happened,
yeah. Okay?"
"Please," Nodoka said wretchedly.
"And you ain't sharing a bed with me no more."
"I thought you were going to drop it, you stupid gorilla!"
"Are you asking me to beat you to a pulp? 'Cause I really
want to at the moment! Is that what you want?"
"Try it, you wannabe Hell's Angel!"
Violence ensued. Down the hall, Kuonji Inji listened to
the crashing, shook his head, and went up to prepare for
breakfast.
* * * *
Genma sat at the table and stared at the plate before
him.
"Scones?" he finally said.
"With lemon marmalade and apricot bits," Kuonji said
pleasantly. "They go well with the orange pekoe I've made us.
Do try one."
Glancing at Kiri and Soun, who sat on either side of him,
Genma picked up the scone. The four of them were on deck,
where Inji had set up a pleasant little table decked with a
white linen cloth and lace doilies. A somewhat-dented teapot,
flanked by pots of honey and marmalade, stood steaming in the
center next to a basket of wonderful-smelling apricot scones.
He bit into his. He'd never actually had one of the things
before, and now regretted that fact. It was delicious.
"Mmmmugh," he said, chewing. "These are good. Where'd
they come from?"
"Thank you," Inji said. "I made them."
Genma almost spat it out. "You?"
The gangster/archeologist shrugged casually. "I cook.
Everyone needs a hobby or two." He glanced at the others. "Go
on, eat. They're good, as Mr. Kasigi said."
Kiri nodded, biting into one. "I remember these." She
paused to chew and swallow. "Not half bad. The apricot's new."
"Do you think? I learned that one last year. And I've added
a bit more flour and a touch less sugar."
"An improvement," Kiri said. Genma just stared, trying to
shake a growing sense of unreality. The picture of Inji baking
scones just couldn't quite appear in his mind, no matter how
hard he tried. And you weren't supposed to discuss baking with
vicious killers.
"I do believe in setting a good table," Inji said cheerfully.
"It's only polite. A beautiful morning, isn't it?" He waved a
hand at the sunny expanse of the Mekong. "I take it back,
Kiritsubo. A beautiful place for a vacation. I trust you and your
lover have been enjoying yourselves?"
Genma's eyes bulged. Her WHAT? Soun began to choke on
his scone.
"Yeah," Kiri said with a sickly grin. "Real romantic."
Something horrible was going on, Genma decided. But it
was probably a cover story of some sort, and all he could do
was go along with it. "Romantic," he echoed. "It was a good
idea, Kiri."
"Kasigi? You're Kiritsubo's lover?" Soun said in a faintly
appalled voice. "You are going to tell Nodoka, I assume?"
"I am not Kiri's lover," Genma said impatiently. Or was
that the story? "Er, am I? Sorry, maybe I am?"
"No, you are not," Kiri said, making frantic motions at
him. "It's, uh, my lover. You know, the one I share my cabin
with?"
Soun spewed a mouthful of tea across the table. "You and
N... N... the baggage? What?"
Inji blinked. "Why on earth would she be in love with
luggage?"
"Baggage?" Kiri said, voice rising. "Are you suggesting
something about my woman?"
"Ah, look," Genma began.
"She is not your woman!" Soun bellowed. "She's mine!"
Inji blinked again, looking confused. "She's your woman,
but you refer to her as baggage? No wonder Kiri was able to
seduce her away."
"Kasigi!" Soun screamed. "This is all your fault! You've
driven her to lesbianism!"
"She is not a lesbian, and it's not my fault!" Genma
snapped back. "He glanced at Kiri worriedly. "Is she?"
"Yes!" Kiritsubo hissed. "You've got one perverted
girlfriend... er. I have one perverted girlfriend, I mean."
"So she's Kasigi's girlfriend as well?" Inji said. "I think
I'm getting a headache.
"How can I face Saotome-sensei now?" Soun moaned.
"How can I tell him I lost to... to... HER?"
"This is stupid!" Kiri screamed. "Put a sock in it, both of
you, before I beat your thick skulls in!"
Inji clucked. "This is getting vexing. Which of you,
exactly, is Nodoka's partner?"
"I am!" Genma said without thinking, and heard Kiri and
Soun say the same thing.
Then he realized exactly what Inji had asked them.
"As amusing as this has been, it's rude to keep people
waiting, don't you think?" Inji said mildly. He snapped his
fingers, and the hatch leading below opened. Two of the
guerillas emerged, a pale-looking Nodoka between them. "Ah,
Miss Nezumi. We meet again. Do forgive me for not inviting you
to breakfast earlier, but don't worry. There are still some
scones left."
Genma rose to his feet, noticing that Soun was doing the
same. Then he heard the clacking of rounds being chambered
behind him.
"We're not done with breakfast," Inji said reprovingly.
"Why don't you sit back down? You too, Miss Nezumi."
Slowly they sank back down into their chairs. You
couldn't fight a bullet.
"Much better," Inji said as Nodoka nervously sat down at
the table. "Really, you people aren't very good at this. After the
success that Kiri and Miss Nodoka had in that little card game
in Ant Town, I was expecting this to be much harder." He
smiled. "Or maybe that was just plain dumb luck."
"Or maybe we're too subtle for you, and you'll never see
our real plan until it's too late," Genma said, trying to sound
casual.
"An interesting thought, but I rather doubt it," Inji said
airily. "Now. Should I remove Miss Nodoka's fingers now, or
wait until breakfast is done?"
"You coward!" Soun snarled. "Threatening a woman with
something like that! Have you no shame?"
Inji thought for a second. "Hmm... Kiri, do I have any
shame?"
"Not really."
Inji spread his hands sadly. "I'm afraid I don't have any,
no. I do have some Grey Poupon, if you like."
Soun sputtered, his face beginning to color, and Genma
sucked in his breath. Soun was building up a massive charge of
indignation, the prerequisite to the fearsome Righteous Seven
Demons Wrath ki attack.
This had good and bad points. The good point was that it
could probably send Inji falling to the deck in a quivering,
gibbering heap, which was a pleasant mental image. The bad
part was that the guerilla, out of the full effect of the
technique, would probably shoot.
"How about pride?" Genma said, an idea forming in his
head.
"Pride? Oh, yes, pride I do have," Inji said.
Genma nodded. "I'll make a deal with you, then. Fight me.
If you win, you can do what you want with us. If you lose, you
and your goons get off the boat without hurting anyone."
"Interesting. Why should I?"
"Because if you don't, it means you weren't sure who
could win," Genma said.
Inji clucked. "Or it means I didn't feeling like fighting on
such a nice day."
"Besides, it'll get our hopes up. You do want to be a good
host, right?" Genma said, hoping that Soun would follow his
reasoning and hold off for just a few more minutes.
Chuckling, Inji stood. "Oh, very well. I do feel like a bit of
exercise, I admit."
"Right. One second." He turned to Kiri and Soun, and
pitched his voice low. "Kiri, would he keep that deal?"
"He might," Kiri said. "Then again, he might not. Inji puts
more value on debts than on verbal promises, and he owes
Nodoka a mauling." She looked up at him, face worried. "Don't do
this, Genma. I wasn't joking when I said that I didn't think you
could beat him."
"We don't have any choice," Genma said. "Soun... no, don't
break your concentration... wait until his goons have their guns
pointing somewhere else, and then blast em with that pompous
demon thing. They're the real threat here."
"No, they ain't," Kiri hissed, her voice strained. "I mean
it, Genma. Be very careful."
He gave her a winning smile. "Don't worry, Kiri. I'm taking
him seriously. I'm just taking myself seriously too."
"Then you're the only one here who is," she growled.
"Okay, fine, fight him. Try not to get dead."
Nodoka gave him a wan smile. "Genma, dear, please beat
the nice man to a paste for me? Please?"
"Anything for you," Genma said grandly. Straightening, he
strolled over to where Inji waited. "Ready when you are,
Kuonji."
"No. No, I doubt you are."
The knife moved faster than his eye could track,
whipping out of Inji's jacket in a silver arc and stabbing
towards his chest. Genma desperately tumbled to the size as
Inji thrust, one hand jabbing out to try to punch the
archeologist. He felt something cut a hot line along his arm,
and lashed out with a flurry of spinning kicks intended to
shield a retreat.
Inji seemed to go from moving blur to stationary in a
heartbeat; stopping just outside of Genma's range. He absently
look at the knife in his hand; a two-pronged stiletto. It had
blood on it. "Interesting. Better than I'd expected."
Genma stood ready, mind numb with shock. He was
registering a shallow cut on one arm, a slash along his side, a
torn bit of cloth along one sleeve - all superficial injuries,
none very deep, but ones that had almost been much, much
worse. And he hadn't managed to so much as touch Inji in
response. Hell, he'd barely been able to SEE Inji!
Genma mentally adjusted his options. He usually relied on
superior speed and agility; that wasn't an option here.
Exchanging hit for hit wasn't attractive either; one good stab
from that knife could prove fatal, especially in the middle of
the jungle. That left endurance and defense.
"Not bad," he said casually. "I've never fought a ballet
dancer with a knife before."
Inji chuckled. "Thank you. For my next number, I'll carve
the score to Swan Lake on your brainpan." He gave a mocking
bow, and then...
Genma leaped backwards as the attack came, desperately
trying to track the silver blur slashing towards him. Frantic,
acting more on instinct than conscious thought, he gave ground,
covering his retreat with a series of jabs, kicks, and attacks
that never quite seemed to connect. The knife grazed him once,
twice, a third time...
And then Inji stopped advancing, pulling back with a
speed so abrupt it was almost jarring to watch. He looked
_relaxed_, Genma noticed with horror. He wasn't even
breathing hard. "Not bad, Mr. Kasigi. Very fluid style. I like the
short punches."
"Thank you," Genma said, trying to keep from panicking.
He was bleeding from eight cuts, none very deep, but still... if
this went on, there could be only one ending.
"But as fascinating as this is, I think it's time to end
this. Goodbye. I'm glad you liked my scones."
He started to move forward in the blur of attack, and
then the shooting started.
Inji and Genma both hurled themselves to the deck as
machinegun-fire raked the air. Crouching by the rail, Genma
saw Kiri, Nodoka, and Soun all vanish behind the overturned
table. The guerrillas were screaming, running towards the bow,
and exchanging fire with a boat approaching from upriver.
Right, he thought, time to go. He crawled swiftly but
gingerly across the deck, wincing once as a steam of bullets
splintered the deck a few feet away from him, and ducked
behind the table. "What's going on?"
"We're being shot at," Nodoka said curtly. "Again. Why
doesn't anyone seem to like us?"
"Maybe it's our breath," he replied. "Couldn't have
happened at a better time, though." He nodded to Kiri. "You were
right. He is good."
"Oh no," Soun groaned. Genma's eyes followed the lanky
martial artist's shaking finger to where the crew was pulling
the tarpaulins off what they had assumed to be deck cargo.
"Nice artillery piece," Kiri said. "Looks like they mean to-"
There was an explosion, and a large part of the hostile
ship vanished in a ball of flame and wood splinters.
"Oh. Wow," Kiri concluded, eyes slightly wide. "Big gun."
"Down!" Genma yelled. "they all went flat as a heavy
machine gun sawed off the upper half of the table in a shower
of sawdust.
"Do something!" Nodoka screamed at him.
"Like what?" he screamed back. "Challenge the gatling to
single combat?"
"KASIGI!" Soun bellowed. "Shield Nodoka with your body!"
He paused. "I mean, no! Shield her with someone else's body!"
"Not mine, please," Kiri snapped. She glanced up. "Hey, are
those helicopters?"
A tree on the nearby bank exploded into a fireball.
"Yup, with rocket launchers," she said. "Can we please get
the hell outta Dodge?"
"Sounds good to me," Genma said. "We'll make a break for
the-" A terrible thought struck him. "Oh no. Where's Takashi?"
"Who cares?" Nodoka and Kiri chorused.
"I'm right here. Follow me, please," Takashi commented.
The other four turned to stare at where he lay hunkered
between Kiri and Soun. "When did you get here?" Nodoka hissed.
"Just now. Please, hmm, this way." With that, Takashi
took out a submachine gun, aimed it at the deck, and held down
the trigger for slightly over a minute.
When the smoke cleared, he calmly kicked out the
circular hatch the bullets had cut and vanished into it. Nodoka
and Kiri followed, nearly tumbling over each other in their
hurry. Soun and Genma just stared at the hole.
"Should we, Kasigi?"
"I'm honestly not sure, Tendo."
The bow vanished in an eruption of fire, steel, and
shattered wood.
"Let's haul ass, Tendo."
"Right you are, Kasigi."
They hastily scrambled down the hatch. Above them,
flames began to spread across the deck.
The hatch emerged in one of the holds, where Takashi
was fumbling with a pair of long metal cylinders attached to a
steel rowboat. Nodoka and Kiri had already taken seats inside
it. Lacking any better ideas, Soun and Genma ambled over to sit
across from them.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Silence fell, punctuated only by the not-terribly-distant
sound of screaming, automatic weapons, and concussion
grenades.
"What is sitting here supposed to accomplish?" Genma
finally asked.
Nodoka shrugged. "Takashi told us to get in. It's a better
plan than ours."
"Why, what was yours?"
"We didn't have one."
Takashi finished his tinkering and swung agily into the
boat, a long tube under one arm. "Capital. Shall we depart?"
"Depart how?" Soun snapped. "What are we to do, row out
of the hold?"
"Not at all. We shall simply use this, hmm, improvised
but perfectly reliable propulsion method to make our
departure."
Kiri's eyes grew wide. "Hey... hey, those things on the
boat are rockets!"
Takashi nodded serenely.
"ARE YOU MENTAL?" she screamed. "YER GONNA FLATTEN
US AGAINST THE SIDE OF THE HOLD, YOU UPPER-CRUST
NUTBALL!"
"Not at all," Takashi said calmly. He raised the tube to
his shoulder. "Please duck."
Kiri dived to the floor. Takashi pulled a trigger.
With a whoosh, a projectile flew from one end of the
tube, flew towards the far end of the hold....
"Down!" Genma screamed. They took his advice.
The other end of the cargo hold exploded.
Then Takashi pulled the two lanyards.
With a roar, the two surface-to-air missiles intended for
sale to the Viet Cong ignited, lurched once, and then soared
into the inferno, taking the boatload of screaming martial
artists with them.
* * * *
The captain of the government patrol boat was not a
happy man.
The second boat in his flotilla was a burnt-out wreck,
one of the support choppers had been shot down, and the
guerrilla craft was still exchanging fire with them. His men
had taken the deck gun out of commission, but the pirates were
stubbornly hammering away with automatic weapons and an
anti-air gun instead of doing the intelligent thing and
surrendering. Well, maybe not so intelligent, since they'd just
shoot them anyway.
"Soon have then settled," his exec said. He nodded. Not
much left in this rabble. They were beaten; they were just to
stupid to realize it yet. He would educate them.
"More fire to the aft!" he shouted to his gun crew. The
crew chief snapped off a hasty salute and began bellowing
orders at his men, who swiveled the tiny artillery piece to
bear on the rear of the pirate vessel. A few more hits, and
resistance should be over...
The bow of the pirate barge exploded.
The captain turned and opened his mouth to berate the
crew for their poor shot placement. Then he realized that the
gun hadn't fired.
And then all hell broke loose.
From the blazing bow shot a strange projectile with two
cylinders on each side. As the captain watched in disbelief, it
soared into the air, and then started to descend... right...
towards....
The captain and the exec screamed as one, and jumped
over the side seconds before the craft zoomed through the
space they had been occupying. It swept along the deck, sending
panicked crewmen flying, and finally broke through the aft rail
to vanish under the surface of the Mekong with a titanic
splash.
A stunned silence fell across the river. The captain
bobbed to the surface, spat out a mouthful of river water, and
stared at the exec. "What in the name of the devil's
grandmother was that?"
"The devil's grandmother is as good a guess as any, sir."
The exec frowned. "Only..."
"Yes?"
"What does, <AAAAAARGHDAMNYOUTAKASHIYOUBASTARD>
mean?
The captain opened his mouth to hazard a guess, and then
the horrible screaming thing burst from the water like a
pyrotechnic dolphin, landed upon the surface in a shower of
water, and bounced screaming down the river like a demented
weasel on drugs.
Thirty seconds later, the captain and the exec surfaced
again.
"Mr. Gyuu?"
"Yes, sir?"
"I quit."
"Very good, sir."
-----------------------------
It was a feeling I'm sure you're familiar with, son.
The gut feeling that you're better than this guy, that you
can beat him... but he isn't giving you time to figure out
how to do it. My first duel with Inji was like that. He was
so much faster than I was, and that was it - I had all the
advantages except the one critical one.
That fight was one reason I've put such an emphasis
on speed and agility in your training. Mobility as a
cardinal virtue had always been one of my key concepts,
and Inji helped cement my opinion.
Ukyou never really grasped that, I think. She had
potential - still does - but she let herself be focused
into a limited, stylized cumbersome weapon-school.
She'll never become what I'd hoped for; it's much too late
now. I suspect it was done on purpose, though it didn't
completely work.
No, she'll never be what I hoped for, but it may be
that she is something much better.
But I digress. The trip. As I have said before, it
brought a lot of realizations. Painful, but necessary. Lies
and hidden secrets must be ripped away as soon as
possible, son. Hypocritical of me to say that, yes, but
much if not all of the good advice I've given you has been
hypocritical. Judge by the fruit, not the source.
The longer you let them fester, the more they will
hurt when the inevitable revelation occurs. Think of the
wounds you and Akane inflicted on each other for over a
year. Think of the day on Jusendo, the second worst
moment of my life. Take this lesson to heart.
And watch Kasigi Genma and his friends as they
roar, screaming in terror, down the Mekong. Poor boy. The
trip isn't over yet...
- Susan Doenime
Brisbane, U of Q
"I hit the streets / They watched me in the monitor..."