Subject: [FFML] [Parody fic][MKR][The three Magic Knights!]
From: Ryoga P Hibiki
Date: 1/19/2000, 8:27 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

The Three Magic Knights.

Part 1: 

Dan vs. Cephiro.

	Dan frowned as the girls around him stayed relatively calm despite the
fact they where on the back of a gigantic flying fish, the pig tailed
girl was holding onto his leg nervously while the other two had yet to
notice his presence.
	"Calm down, we're fine," he said to the girls, of course they ignored
him and continued to panic. "Bloody hell," he sighed and sat down calmly
forcing the red head to release his leg and latch onto his neck. Suddenly
a thought entered his mind, a somewhat evil thought. "Hey, if they fall
off the fish, I could get away with just a really bad short spamfic." He
glanced at the girl who was clinging to his neck and smiled warmly. "Hey,
I think I saw a building down there!"
	The other two girls reacted immediately, "Where!?" they dashed over to
the edge and leaned over, on the down side, they had all grown noticeably
calmer. 
	"Just over..." he placed his hands on the girl's backs moving between
them quietly, "Oh, it's just a big rock," the red head screamed demurely
as a small bird passed by them flying near to the fish, she pulled at his
neck and forced him to jerk back. "No!"
	The two girls looked back at him questioningly, "No what?"
	Dan started to sweat a little under the girls gaze, "Uh, I just had my
hopes up that's all, there might not be any people here." He smiled to
himself, it was a good lie to come up with on a whim.
	"Where are we?" asked the red head.
	"We appear to be on a giant flying fish," said the blonde girl.
	"I know that braniac! I think she meant on a somewhat larger scale," Dan
seethed, he hated people who simply stated the obvious to sound smart.
	"It was the only way I could answer the question," replied the girl with
a shrug of her shoulders.
	"You three sure seem calm now, you realize that we are on the back of a
gigantic flying fish on what is probably another world hundreds of feet
above the ground right? I mean you didn't forget or anything right? Cause
you're all so calm suddenly." Dan raised his eyebrows a little as he
asked, and the red head released him with a small smile on her lips that
he failed to notice.
	"It would not help much to panic now," said the blonde with another
shrug.
	"Great, so I'm assuming I'm stuck here with you now," the boy crossed
his arms and sat down again grumbling to himself.
	"What a strange boy," said the girl.
	The blue haired girl seemed to be having a panic attack.

	A large mirror sat floating in mid-air while a large black robed man
stood watching it from the center of a room; beside him an elfish looking
man kneeled patiently.
	"So, she has used the last of her power to summon the legendary Magic
Knights," the man frowned as the image of the flying fish floated across
the surface of the glass before him.
	"It would appear that way," said a voice from the shadows as the elfin
man began to respond.
	The black robed man spun around on his heels and shot a visible wall of
black energy that narrowly missed his companion, it impacted on another
invisible wall and he narrowed his eyes as a figure seemed to melt from
the darkness.
	The new comer was dressed in a simple dark purple robe with a long
flowing black cape, his hair was short and black cropped almost to the
skin along the back of his neck. His hands where covered in embroidered
white gloves and several round jewels shined on his clothing. The man
smiled and looked up at the man in black, he spun a gnarled looking staff
in his hands playfully and stepped forward as he looked the imposing
figure directly in his eyes, he was much shorter than the man and a lot
less threatening, he looked almost cheerful.
	"Who are you? How did you get in here?" The towering man stayed calm and
looked the man up and down.
	"Me? I'm just a catalyst, no one for you to be concerned with really,"
he chuckled to himself and leaned on the staff lazily. "As for how I got
in here...that's a secret."
	"What do you want?" asked the man with a dangerous calm in his voice,
the elfin man stood defensively in front of his master silently.
"Oh would you stop it, I don't care about Cephiro or princess Emerad, I'm
here to help even the odds so to speak. Those Magic Knights could become
a real problem for you, especially with the male there," he gave the pair
a playful wink.
	"And you intend to take care of them for me? Tell me what price you wish
me to pay," the man seemed somewhat amused now.
	"Oh, goodness no! I'm here to keep things interesting, you know make
sure they don't win too easily. My purpose is only to make their journey
more difficult, but that could work for you I suppose. After all, the
victor is always uncertain, it makes for more dramatic moments, you know
how it is." The man seemed absolutely oblivious to the angry looks from
the two evil being in the room.
	Finally the figure in white spoke up, "Who are you?!"
	"Well, I suppose you'll have to call me something now won't you? I'm
merely a creation designed for a specific purpose in this world. I guess
we could go with how my creator dressed me, and my personality. Call me
Xellos," the man bowed to the pair over dramatically and smiled when he
looked up at them.
	"I should destroy you for wasting my time," the black clad figure raised
his hand and Xellos simply put his finger up waving it side to side.
	"I wouldn't try that, I am equipped to defend myself and my mission," he
glared at he two angry men with his golden eyes and his smile suddenly
became vicious. "I could just as easily take up your position in the
story and meet my needs, but I'm somewhat of a free spirit and I'd rather
do it the fun way. Besides, I have more magic in my pinky than the two of
you combined," with a small wave of his hand the shadows on the floor
seemed to jump up and swirl into a sphere that swallowed him up before
shrinking back into the floor leaving an empty space. 
	The black robed figure snorted to himself and turned back to the mirror,
"Well, this could become interesting."

	The group of kids from Tokyo found themselves being dumped off onto a
cliff by the giant fish. Dan stood up and frowned as the girls slowly
recovered.
	The blue haired girl started to complain immediately, "What kind of a
place is this!?"
	"Well, it certainly isn't Tokyo," said the blonde.
	"Stop stating the obvious," said Dan before any one could respond. He
looked back and saw that the edge of the cliff was relatively flimsy.
Another evil thought formed in his head and he punched at the ground
pretending to be frustrated, finally resorting to jumping up and down in
a vain attempt to get the thin outcropping to crumble. Finally after a
moment the ground directly under where he was standing crumbled under his
feet and he barely caught the edge in time to pull himself back up. "Ha,
ha, somebody has been watching old Road Runner cartoons again I see."	
	"Gee, do you think he's mad?" the red haired girl looked somewhat
bewildered.
	"He's mad?! I've got a fencing match next week! How am I gonna make it
to that if' I'm stuck here?!" The blue haired girl looked about ready to
attack the other girls because they where taking it so lightly.
	"What we need is a plan, we can't just wander around," the blonde girl
smiled as she stepped between them and pushed her glasses back onto her
nose.
	"All right, I'll bite for now," Dan frowned and turned to face the
girls. "We're gonna be here a while I'll bet, so let's introduce
ourselves,"
	"What?! What kind of stupid plan is that?!" the girl was starting to
make Dan angry, and when Dan get angry, Dan smash. He ground his teeth
and balled up his fists as he turned away. 
	"No, mustn't become villain." He repeated the phrase over and over like
a mantra to himself.
	"Actually I think it's a wonderful idea," said the blond girl. Dan
cringed slightly at the irony of her words.
	"Yea, I was just about to suggest the same thing actually!" cried the
hyperactive red head, Dan failed to notice that she looked entirely too
happy about agreeing with him.
	"Oh, all right," sighed the blue haired girl finally. "My name is Umi
Ryuzaki, junior high eig-" 
	Dan promptly interrupted her, "All we need to know is your name, not
your life story. Plenty of time for that later," he muttered the last
part with a painful look as he realized he had to travel with three
painfully cute junior high school girls for who knows how long in order
to get home. "My name is Dan."
	The three girls looked at him expectantly, "Is that all?" asked the
blonde in shock.
	"What else do you need to know right now?" he glanced at them and they
continued the introductions.
	"I am Fuu Houoji," replied the blonde girl, she started to say more, but
a warning glare from Dan cut her off.
	The third girl came off like a ball of energy that made the boy sick to
his stomach, "I'm Hikaru Shidou! Fourteen years old, eight grade!" she
jumped up and down as she spoke seeming far to cheerful considering their
situation.
	"Great, I'm stuck here with a nerd, a prep, and a hyperactive third
grader." Dan felt his jaw go tight as he turned away from the group with
a somewhat sick look on his face.
	
	The girls all jumped back as the flying fish reappeared behind them on
the edge of the cliff. Dan calmly turned to look at the stupid looking
animal next to Hikaru; she pet the thing cheerfully while the other two
girls cowered behind the trees that lined the edge of the cliff face they
were on.
	"You know, I'm getting hungry. I haven't had Sashimi in a while..." he
looked at the fish and Hikaru gasped in shock.	
"Please don't say mean things like that Mr. Dan!" she put her arms around
the creature's neck as it sat there dumbly.
	"Just Dan thank you," he walked over and pulled the others out of the
trees a little forcefully before turning to face the forest behind them.
"Are you going to stand there and watch us all day or what?"
	"Who are you talking to?" asked Hikaru as she peered into the woods.
	Almost in answer a voice called out from all around them, "Creature
return!" The fish was pulled into a crystal embedded on a staff that was
held by a diminutive looking boy who watched them carefully.
	"Who are you?" said Dan with a smirk.
	"I am Master Mage Clef, I have come here to act as your guide; you will
not be able to return to your world, until you have saved this one," he
stared them all down and Dan snarled at him.

	Mean while the black clad figure stood before his minions as they
watched from behind a thin veil of water. The white elfin man called out
to them, "The legendary magic knights have been summoned!" Various cries
of protest erupted in the room as the minions excitedly chattered amongst
themselves. "Silence, lord Zagato is about to speak!" cried the white
clad man, the figures immediately became silent.
	"The four magic knights have been summoned from another world, but they
are but children, they have no chance of reviving the rune god. However,
they are currently with Master Mage Clef."
	"That obnoxious guy?" asked a childish voice from behind the water.
	"Now that's a tad problematic," agreed a feminine voice from across the
room.
	"Alcione." Zagato turned to face one of the walls and it parted
revealing a middle aged woman dressed in leather. "It's always best if
weeds are pulled out early."
	"Actually, if you let them grow a little, they come up much easier,"
said a new voice. All of the minions went deathly silent as they turned
to face the newcomer.
 "Well, if it isn't Xellos," the white clad elfin man sneered unimpressed
at the man this time.
He was promptly thrown to the floor by a purple lightening ball as the
man emerged from the shadows. "Can I help you?" asked Zagato calmly as
his right hand man writhed in agony on the ground.
"Don't worry, I'll be popping up from time to time, those girls will be
harder to kill than you might imagine, Alcione won't be enough," the man
smiled as the woman's face turned into a mask of rage. However, after
seeing the fate of Zagato's companion she wisely kept her mouth shut.
"We'll see," snorted the man arrogantly as he waved his hand at her
motioning for her to leave.
"Suit yourself, don't say I didn't warn you!" Xellos vanished in a puff
of smoke.
	Zagato turned and saw that his lap dog was still on the ground in pain,
"Quite a powerful mage," he commented before walking away from the man.

Mage Clef stood before the group and started to speak. "This is
Cephiro..." Dan felt himself fall asleep as the boy droned on about Magic
Knights or something.
"Wake up idiot!" cried Umi as she kicked the boy angrily.
"Huh? Wha?" he jumped awake and snorted. 
"I'm sorry, Dan, but you missed the explanation about why we're here!"
Fuu giggled to herself as he stood up groggily.
"Somehow I don't think he minds," growled Umi as she gave him another
quick kick for good measure.
After a moment he looked down at himself and frowned, "What's this?" He
was currently wearing a small and flimsy looking piece of armor that was
colored slightly yellow, it had matching armbands and a glove on his
right hand with a big yellow jewel.
"No way! I have to be a magic knight too!? I thought the legend only had
three hero's in it!" he rushed over to Clef and picked him up by his
collar.
"Obviously you weren't paying attention," said the boy to him.
"How dare you make me a magic knight! Damn you Mage Clef, this is all
your fault!" the backpack and umbrella had mysteriously reappeared on
Dan's back as he said this.
"Dan! He says we can learn magic now! Isn't that great?" cried Hikaru
excitedly, "he just taught me how!"
The boy frowned as he dropped the boy on the ground completely forgetting
about his anger, "so, now what?"
Clef dusted himself off as he stood up again and glared at Dan a little
bitterly, "I attempted to choose magic for each of you, but it appears
the magic has chosen you instead."
Dan frowned as he looked over the horizon, "Let's just get this journey
over with OK?" He noticed that the weather was getting pretty bad, "A sky
like that can only mean one thing, someone's found us."
"A wise observation," Clef seemed genuinely impressed with the boy.
"Creature I summon thee!" Out of the Mage's staff a large griffin
appeared. "Quickly get on!"
"You said all I have to do to use magic is cast a spell right?" Clef
looked at him oddly before nodding his head. 
"Perhaps you where paying attention after all, quickly get onto the
beast!" Umi and Fuu did not need to be told twice, Hikaru turned to face
the boy with an upset look in her eyes. 
"Wait what are you going to do?"
"I'll hold them off!" replied Clef.
"No! I'll..." she was promptly silenced as Dan punched the back of her
head knocking her out cold.
"Get on the damn bird!" he tossed her up to her friends and jumped up
after her. Well to put it more accurately he tried to toss her over the
griffin and off the cliff by throwing her over the other two girl's
heads, but they managed to catch her anyway. The strange bird rose into
the sky impossibly slowly and Dan frowned as Umi and Fuu watched the
already miniscule Clef grow smaller by the minute. "Hey! Doesn't this
thing go any faster?!" he snarled angrily.
Clef ignored them and called out, "Head for the west! The weapons master
Preciea is in the forest of silence!" 
"We could do better just running away!" suddenly the bird lurched forward
almost causing him to lose his grip as it sped away from the scene. "Damn
you Clef! This isn't funny!"
The boy Mage watched them fly away before he turned to see a woman riding
towards him on a flaming horse. He frowned and waited for her to close in
on him. "Alcione, I am disappointed in you, I taught you magic so you
could help protect Cephiro."
The woman shot a barrage of ice spears at him and he blocked them easily,
"You're not my target, I'd never stand a chance against the great Mage
Clef, my mission is to destroy those bothersome magic knights." She
turned and dashed off after the group, leaving Clef standing on the
cliff. He felt something behind him and turned placing a shield in place,
but unfortunately it was to late. Zagato appeared behind the boy on
nearby mountaintop laughing as the stone Clef fell off the cliff into the
valley.

Hikaru woke on the back of the griffin moaning to herself. "Clef."
"I'm sure he'll be all right, he's a powerful mage after all!" Fuu gave
the girl a reassuring smile.
"Shut up, we have to get out of here! I want to get this stupid game over
with so I can get home!" Dan growled as the beast flew low over the
forests and valleys of Cephiro.
	The young red head appeared in Dan's face, "Why did you hit me?!"
	"Because we didn't have time to talk about it! Shut up and get behind
me!" he clenched his legs around the shoulders of the beast and gripped
the feathers on it's neck using them to steer the animal like a horse.
	"What's that?!" cried Umi as she pointed to a small spot on the horizon.
Quickly it grew into a woman riding on a flaming horse across the sky
towards them.
	Dan got a huge grin on his face as he pulled out a small red and white
hat from his back pocket. "It's a Ponitia!" He quickly grabbed something
off his belt and reared his hand back. "Pokeball go!"
	"What are you doing? Are you insane!?" Fuu grabbed his shoulder and
pulled him down again.
	"What the heck is a Pokeball?" asked Hikaru looking confused, Dan looked
between the two other girls and they gave him equally dumbfounded looks.
	"A little after your time I guess." He laughed to himself and pulled the
hat off his head sheepishly.

	Alcione charged forward and laughed maniacally, "Icicle spear!" Dozens
of ice shards appeared in the sky around her and shot towards the bird as
it dodged skillfully.
	Dan wavered to keep his balance and growled angrily at the woman, "I'll
fry you!" another barrage of ice forced him back down on his seat as the
girls screamed in fright. "Damn, I hate this place! I hate this place! I
HATE THIS PLACE!"
	The bird was finally forced to stop as a shower of icicle spears fell
from above. Alcione appeared in front of them and the girls gave her and
angry growl in unison as Dan faithfully chanted his mantra.
	The woman spoke to them from her mount. "Well, three little eggs that
would have hatched into magic knights, I'm sorry but you must die now."
	"She said magic knights!" gasped Fuu to herself.
	Dan seemed to snap out of his angry trance as he sat up suddenly and
began to mutter something under his breath. "Light which burns beyond
crimson flame..."
	"I can't die like this!" whispered Umi.
	"I bid you farewell," Alcione raised her staff and smiled.
	Hikaru got an angry look as she stood up and stared the woman down, but
before she could react Dan shoved her aside, he had an insane look in his
eyes and his hair was blowing about wildly through the air, "...let your
power gather within my hands! FIRE BALL!"
	The middle aged woman's eyes went wide as a massive ball of flames shot
towards her almost too fast for her to react, she jumped out of her mount
and barely escaped the ball itself, but what happened next she really
wasn't expecting. The fireball exploded sending her careening away as her
clothes started to burn catching her hair and enveloping her body almost
completely, she almost didn't have the strength or the concentration to
pull off the escape spell.
	Dan laughed as he put his hand down and turned to face the girls with a
huge stupid looking grin. "All right, it works."
	The three looked at him in shock and said nothing for a long time before
Hikaru finally jumped into his arms. "That was so cool! I can't wait to
try out my magic spells!" Umi and Fuu merely looked relieved that the
immediate danger was gone.
	"We are going to the forest of silence now," said Dan simply as he sat
down on the bird's shoulders again.
	"Wait! How do we know we can trust this Clef?" Umi looked uncertain and
Fuu was about to speak when Dan interrupted.
	"I said we are going to the forest of silence, no argument," he turned
to face her causing her to blush and look away from him. "I don't know
where we are and frankly I don't care, the only thing that concerns me is
getting this whole thing over with so I can get home. So until someone
can do something other than make wild guesses about who is evil or
truthful we do as I say."
	Fuu frowned slightly at his tone and shifted next to Umi protectively.
"How will we find this place? We don't even know where we are!"
	"Simple, I'd bet a million yen this bird knows where we need to go, if
not I have my ways," the animal screeched and flew off towards the
destination.

	After a few minutes the animal settled down in a clearing and let them
off its back, "This must be the forest of silence!" Fuu smiled to herself
as she had yet another wonderful revelation.
	"Do you really get everyone to think you're a genius just by stating the
obvious?" asked Dan. 
	She turned around and held her breath with a really angry look in her
eyes, "Look Mr. Dan! You have been an absolutely awful person ever since
we got here and I'm tired of it! You don't have to stay with us you
know!"
	The boy snorted and laughed out loud, "Yes I do, don't you see? I've got
no choice in the matter, no matter how you beg me or plead with me I have
to stay with you until you die or we get out of this crazy world, if you
don't like it..." he fell silent as the girl glared at him angrily.
	"If she doesn't like it then what?" asked Umi.
	"Then do something about it and stop whining." He started towards the
large building that sat in the center of the clearing while the three
girls followed him.
	Hikaru looked at her two friends and shrugged her shoulders as he
plodded onward silently.

	In the trees above them a figure stood watching from the shadows, "Well,
let's see, I think I'll wait until they've got weapons to have my fun."
The figure opened its eyes to reveal two glowing golden eyes.

TBC...

	This is coming out surprisingly well, I especially like writing Dan as a
complete ass. He's gonna be that way for a while, as well as attempting
to get the girls killed in various non obvious ways. [Remember, he has to
be sneaky about it.]
	I added Xellos so that I could make Dan as strong as I want to. Also so
I can get some good jokes in on the bad guys, I hate it when I can't
change certain parts of a fic just because I don't have anyone there that
would change the story line.
	Exactly what he's doing here and what his job is specifically will be
revealed later on. [Honestly he's mostly here to annoy Zagato.]
	Just wait until you see what I have planned for Ascot, it's a hoot. Down
right evil I tell ya!

Carrot Glace, the artist formerly known as Catbert25.

"Ohh, shit! Someone else is out of Alcahol!" -Fujisawa Sensei.

"It's a wonderful warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I've
had too much beer or something." -Phil


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