In a message dated 00-01-17 23:16:38 EST, you write:
<< By the time you all read this, I will be dead. I know you don�t
approve
of my course of action, but it is what I wanted. Please understand that.
=Um, okay, I guess. It's not as if we have much of a choice in the matter
anyway...
Why? Why did I kill myself?
=Because Kunou wouldn't shut his yap with all that bad poetry, and it pushed
you over the edge?
Well, I couldn�t take it anymore.
=Neither could I; that's why I bought ear plugs. You could've borrowed a
pair from me, you know....
The woman I loved, the one person I wanted to spend the rest of my life
with,
dead.
[sugg] ....my life with, is dead.
I cry.
[sugg] I cried.
Heh. Me! Crying! I NEVER cry!
="Men don't cry. They hold it in, like it don't hurt...and get hit by
trucks." -Richard Pryor, Live on the Sunset Strip
But here I am, crying for what I could never have.
=A normal life in Nerima?
Had I been more outgoing and much less nervous, I would have been able to
tell her my feelings. But, I couldn�t.
[sugg] Either combine the sentences like "...my feelings, but I couldn't," or
"...my feelings...but, I couldn't." The one with ellipses makes it somewhat
more dramatic.
My father trained me in the martial arts, and when he did so he also trained
me to
bottle up my emotions. �Emotions make you weak,� he�d always say. Well,
pop, that�s not true. Lack of emotion makes you weak. I hope you
understand
that now.
=I doubt it; he was never that smart a man to begin with.
Why did she have to die? Saffron didn�t have to kill her! I could have
saved her! But I was too late. She died in my arms, yet still she eluded
my
grasp. I will never forget the serene look on her face as I pronounced her
dead, tears running down my face. Hell, even Nabiki was crying. I haven�t
ever seen that happen before.
=You were too gullible for her to need to turn on the waterworks to get you
to do something for her.
The funeral was the hardest for me. When she was immortalized in the
Tendo family shrine, I knew she�d never be back. Until then I had harbored
a
faint hope that she was just pretending to get back at me for something I�d
done before. She was forever dead, and I wept.
=She was forever dead? What, is she going to come back in three days and
ascend to heaven after forty more?
[sugg] it's a little bit excessive on the words. Usually when someone dies,
it's going to be forever, unless they reincarnate. And the use of was makes
it sound like, "Well, she was killed in a horrible accident, but she got
better." Try using "is" instead of "was" and skimp the forever. Dead is
dead, unless your name is Lazarus or Jesus.
I wept so fiercely that Mr. Tendo had to concede the �Eye Fountain� award
to me. Heh. I�m just trying to put a little humor into a bad situation.
=What's the bad situation: the death, or the placement of the joke?
I apologize if I come off as disrespectful.
=Oh, don't worry about it; you should be use to the taste of fillet of "sole"
by now.
The night after the funeral, I decided to die.
[sugg] Decided to die, it sounds so ugly in use. Try "The night after the
funeral, I had decided to commit suicide."
I wrote this note, and I killed myself.
[sugg] I'm not an expert on this, but from my limited knowledge, suicide
notes usually don't refer to the act as already done. Try rewriting the
sentence as "I wrote this note, and now, I am going to kill myself."
Heh. It�s funny that I�m writing about something I�m doing right now in the
past tense.
=...it is? How?
Well, at least you know about the past tense thing....
Anyway, I am now dead. Forever gone. And Gods willing, with Kasumi.
=?
Ranma, thank you for trying to save her from Saffron, but he surprised
you in your home as you slept. I don�t blame you for anything. Good luck
with Akane. Everyone knows you love her.
=[blinks] Huh?
That�s all I wanted to say.
=Hey, buster, just who are you if you're not the great Saotome Ranma then?!
Dr. Ono Tofu >>
[facefaults hard]
....that, that is certainly....unusual....a story....the twist was a bit
forced, though, as was the doctor being shaped as Ranma was...it had me up
till then, and then...well, it was definitely an unexpected thing to have
happen.