This fic deals with (or will eventually) the yaoi
pairing of Wufei and Duo from Gundam Wing.
This first bit isn�t really 5x2, it�s just the
beginning :)
Oh, and you�ll have to forgive my lack of knowledge, I
couldn�t find any info on Meiran on the net so I
shaped her character to my liking :) So if she is out
of character I apologise!
This is very rough - so I guess I better apologise for
that as well!
And just one little extra note (I�m almost done!) I
was in a really weird mood when I wrote this, so
beware of weird writing *grin*
Set sometime during the war.
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The awakening sun bathed the the memorials of the dead
in a blood red. The cemetery, situated far from
civilisation and perhaps the reason for it�s survival,
bore few scars of the ongoing war.
One lone visitor entered through the looming cast iron
gates - once they must have been gleaming new with
well oiled hinges, but now, devoid of any care, wild
ivy had entangled itself with the bars. The gate
groaned in protest as the visitor pried them open,
years of unuse sounding its voice. As a strong gust of
wind threaded its way through the tombstones as a fox
terrier might at a dog show the visitor drew his ankle
length coat tighter around his small frame, burying
his head deep in its collar. The crisp freshness of
Autumn had begun to give way to the dreariness and
bitterness of winter, and he could feel it�s chill
through to his bones as he walked up and down the rows
of the dead before stopping in front of a grave.
He ran a hand down the smooth surface of the
tombstone, unconsciously tracing the indented letters
softly with his finger tips in a lover like caress.
�Chang Meiran� He whispered softly into the breeze.
�Beloved wife of Chang Wufei�
He closed his eyes briefly in grief, ignoring the way
his long black ponytail whipped across his face or how
the dew drenched grass was beginning to seep through
his trousers.
�It�s been a long time Meira� He finally spoke up
softly after offering a silent prayer.
�Between the War and ...� here he paused before
letting forth a short, humourless laugh.
�Well, as if there is much time for anything BUT the
War. You would be pleased, we have made some advances
- and important ones at that. Oz have suffered some
heavy defeats, perhaps this time they won�t be able to
regain their grip on the colonies and we�ll be able to
finally defeat them for good� His voice trailed off,
the last few words lost in the whistling wind. His
voice possessed hope, yes, but it was tinged with
fatigue and the weight of failure - they had come so
close so often only to have the opportunity slip from
their grasps. Hope could be an inspirational thing
when it came to war, but it could also reek havoc on
ones soul.
�Beloved wife� he repeated, but this time a small
smile graced his lips.
�We were never really in love were we Meira? Not in
the lovers sense anyway. But the word 'friends'
doesn�t seem deep enough to portray our relationship,
it was so much deeper than that.� His smile widened
slightly as his features softened.
�I remember when we first met - oh, we had been bonded
maritally since before we were even born, but still
our parents didn�t think to introduce us until we were
almost ten. Even then you were the rebellious one -
quick for a dare, agile as a fire dragon with a temper
to match. Do you remember when I told you in no
uncertain terms just exactly HOW I expected you to act
once we were married?� He chuckled softly, brushing
away the stray tears which were silently cascading
down his cheeks.
�You used some American term - ah, that�s it, you told
me to go jump in a lake, and when I stead fast refused
you pushed me into your fathers duck pond, saying that
it would do instead�
�You were never one to be controlled by anyone were
you? Even after we were married I couldn�t convince
you from doing as you pleased, couldn�t stop you from
joining this god forsaken war� He shuddered, hunching
his shoulders in the hope of regaining some warmth.
�All I ever wanted was to lead the life that had been
planned out for us. If we didn�t interfere with Oz
then I thought they would leave us alone, and we and
our families were all that mattered. The rest of the
colonies could have been blown to hell for all I
cared, as long as we were safe. Looking back I still
can�t believe how foolish - how selfish I truelly
was.�
�Even after you, you died I still couldn�t see the
enormity of the war - I wasn�t fighting to save the
colonies or for just~ice� He spoke self mockingly,
stressing the final word.
�I was seeking revenge, for you, my family, and
perhaps even partially for myself and the life that
was stolen from me. You would have been ashamed of me
Meira - I know I was.� He gently laid the single wild
rose he had found growing near their current safe
house in front of the grave, silently reflecting just
how much it was like his former wife.
�But somewhere along the line I stopped fighting your
battle Meira, and developed a cause of my own.
Although I doubt they will ever know it I was saved
from my self pity, my self destruction by something I
thought died along side you years ago - true
friendship. Oh, I know I always peel out ideas of
justice, but it was these four boys, only my age, who
taught me it�s real meaning. Justice is not seeking
revenge on ones enemy, but trying to right what they
have done so terribly wrong. Before I didn�t know
there was a difference, but there is. There is a line,
blurred as it may be, between doing what is right and
sinking to their level - it�s a line I hope never to
cross again.�
He pushed himself up onto his feet, the dampness of
the grass finally getting the better of him. No longer
partially sheltered by the gravestone the wind
buffered against him, almost causing him to lose his
balance. But years of training kicked, preventing him
from landing in an undignified heap on the ground.
�But you know� He continued, either oblivious to the
howling weather or simply choosing to ignore it.
�The strangest thing is, Meira, is that through all
this destruction, all this HATE, I�ve been able to
find not only true friendship, but love as well� He
chuckled softly.
�Yes, Mister �what the hell do YOU have up your arse?�
has somehow managed to let go of all his inhibitions
and fallen in love. I wish you could meet him, he�s
got the same wicked sense of humour you have and he�d
be able to understand all those silly American phrases
you seem to throw into every second sentence. He�s
from L2 you see - I know, the last person you would
expect a rigid Chinese set in his ways to care about,
but I do. In hindsight all that seems just so
superficial - our customs for marrying within your own
circle, having your bride picked for you, it means
nothing. Underneath the customs and religions and
histories we are all the same in war time - all
innocents trying desperately to survive.�
�But that wasn�t what I was talking about was I?� He
reflected, a fond smile on his face.
�I was telling you about Duo, a fellow Gundam pilot,
and my lover. I didn�t always love him you must
realise, there was no love at first sight or all that
fluffy romance stuff you liked to read about in your
American books. At first I thought he was a babbling
idiot, always rambling on about one thing or another
with that maniac grin on his face, not a care in the
world� He scoffed.
�Of course he cared, I just took my sweet time in
seeing the well hidden cracks in his facade. But once
I found those cracks Meira, they suddenly became
crevasses. Duo wasn�t coping with the war better than
the rest of as we all thought, in fact, Duo wasn�t
dealing with it at all. He was pushing everything into
some dark recess of his mind, denying all the pent up
anger, hurt and guilt that the rest of us had to try
and deal with on a daily basis. Denial is NEVER a good
thing - I don�t care if it makes you a more competent
soldier, it acts like a cancer, slowly eating away at
your soul until there is nothing left but a shell. If
it�s one thing that this war has taught me, is that
your soul should never be compromised - the price is
not worth it.�
�Duo was basically a time bomb just waiting to go off,
but in typical Duo fashion it happened in the last way
I had expected.
End part one :)
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I'm not sure if this works, it wasn't suppose to be
mostly first person, however it wrote itself.
C&C would be rewarded with gifts of Ambrosia :)
Cairnsy
=====
Jadeite/Nephrite fanfiction, art and more by Cairnsy at http://www.geocities.com/cairnsynz/jednef1.html
Memoirs in Jade - a Jadeite Fanfiction archive, includes both yaoi and non-yaoi stories at http://www.geocities.com/jeddyteddy/home.html
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