Subject: [FFML] [FFML][Spamfic][Lime][DBZ]Infinity
From: Video Game Addicted Person
Date: 1/18/2000, 10:35 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Infinity

A spamfic by VGAP

Disclaimer: If I claimed that Dragon Ball Z was not
Akira Toriyama's creation, I would probably have a
level 4 Super Saiyajin after my head.



     Making a cup of coffee would be a rather arduous
task for a cat, unless the said cat could talk, fly,
could use his paws as hands, and is able to take any
shape he wished. Which was why Pooarl had no
difficulty
in the aforementioned task.

     The flying (not even Bulma knew how he did that;
he wasn't using Bukuujutsu, either) cat reflected on
the fact that his owner seemed rather depressed.
Normally, Yamcha would be willing to conduct such
mundane acts by himself (contrary to popular belief
set up by a certain cartoon, cats cannot drink
coffee),
but this morning, when he had gotten back from
morning-
training, he slumped down on a couch and asked/ordered
Pooarl to make him a coffee.

     Ever a faithful pet, Pooarl refrained from
questions until the former bandit/baseball player
started speaking. "You know what, buddy?"

     "Are you thinking about Mr. Kurillin's marriage
of last week?" The floating feline proved of an
intelligence normally beyond of a minor background
character.

     "You got that straight! How could that noseless
baldie get married to such a gorgeous piece of
womanhood while *I* haven't had dates in years!?"
Normally, Yamcha and Kurillin were best of friends,
but in the privacy of his home and long-time
companion,
his not-so-high status in society tended to exhibit
itself.

     "Mr. Kurillin has some hair now. And Mrs. Number
18 is an android, if I recall correctly." Pooarl
pointed out helpfully. "And you kept rejecting one
woman after another after you broke up with Mrs.
Bulma."

     "Exactly! Why can't I find that one woman
destined
for myself? How long do I have to suffer celibacy? I'm
almost 40 now, damnit!" Yamcha ranted on. "Hell! GOKU,
the one guy I expected never to even know about the
wonders of life, became a father before he finished
his
teens!"

     "It's not nice to insult someone dead, master."
Pooarl left out that the same dead man had also
saved the Earth at least five times, and stopped a
tyranny of an intergalactic dictator. No need to get
into meaningless details.

     Yamcha summed up his current attention span and
frustration in four beautiful words: "I need a drink!"

     Today was obviously not his day, because as soon
as he stood up to go to the cellar and barrels of
cheap wines within, a very loud, almost desparate
knocking came from the front door. Seething, Yamcha
stalked over, yanked the door open, prepared to rudely
and loudly tell off the visitor, and... stared.

     At Kurillin, stripped down to his boxers, and
covered in burns and bruises.

     "Oh my Dragon Ball! What in the name of Dende
happenned to you, Mr. Kurillin?" Pooarl screeched.

     "HIIIIIIIDEEEEE MEEEEEE!!!" Was the response from
a man with six dots on his forehead.

     Yamcha's foul mood was blown off like a planet
on the receiving end of Final Flash. Quickly he locked
the door and literally carried his friend to the
living
room, where he checked on Kurillin's status. Judging
from his ki, he was not in mortal danger, but...
"Kurillin, what the hell happenned to you?! Is it a
new enemy?"

     The man who used to be, for a very brief period
of time, Goku's rival seemed to calm down a little.
"It's... It's my wife..."

     Yamcha groaned. "Oh man, I told you never to get
on her bad side! She's much stronger than you, or have
you forgotten?"

     "No, no! That's not it! Do you think I want to
die? I tried it twice and didn't like it, so I'm not
as stupid as that! We haven't had a single argument!"

     Yamcha was confused. "Then what..."

     "Remember when she used to be our enemy? When
Vegeta fought her? Don't you remember why he lost?"

     Yamcha frowned, trying to recall that little
detail. It wasn't easy; all he had was a second-hand
information, since he was tending to ailing Goku at
the time and wasn't present at the battle. "Didn't you
tell me that they were equal match, but she had some
sort of power plant inside her so that she eventually
tired Vegeta out?"

     Kurillin nodded vigorously. "Yes! Her endurance
never runs out! And that goes outside of battle, too!"

     Yamcha blinked. And blinked again. "You mean..."

     "She won't stop! We have been at it since the
wedding night! I enjoyed it at first but now she's
killing me! If it wasn't for two senzu beans I had,
I would be visiting heaven again!" Kurillin shuddered
violently. "She's merciless! On the top of that, she's
into S&M too!"

     Yamcha finally realised the seriousness of the
situation. "You do realize that when you go back, she
will be pissed."

     Kurillin nodded about 100 times in a second. "I
know. But right now, I don't care! Please, you have
gotta hide me!"

     Making a promise to let his friend stay as long
as needed, Yamcha revised his earlier thought; maybe
staying single was not so bad after all.



Author's notes: Heheh, I got this idea while eating
lunch; you heard me right. You might have wondered
why nearly all my DBZ spamfics are sick. Well you know
why now.

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