<snip>
> "Do you like the noodles?" She asked.

    technical nitpick: 'She' should be lowercase

I get that wrong a lot.  *sigh*

<snip>

    I really liked this piece, but I felt that the middle (the
shooting through his return to the dojo) went too quickly.  While I'm
not sure how it could be extended, or if it really should be, it >feels too rushed.  Too easy, I guess.  :)

Yeah, I know...  Unfortunately, that's how I pictured the scenes.  Will give it some thought though.

    Grammarwise, spelling, and the like - no complaints from me. :)

BTW - is there an archive for this fic?  I can't seem to find one,
and I'd love to read the start of it.

The first two parts are on my website. Look at in my sig below.

Thanks for the comments!  :)

Later,

Anand

Anand Rao
jouve25@hotmail.com
http://www.gsm.uci.edu/~arao02/
ICQ# 10869014

"He's a sex object.  He asks for sex and women object."

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