In the course of human events, great things have been accomplished.  Man is capable of achieving astonishing feats of amazement.  By pulling our knowledge and expressing our creativity all at once, there is no height unreachable, no task uncompletable, and no goal unattainable.

Unfortunately, what you about to read in not one of them.  I can not promise mental enlightenment from this piece.  In fact, there is a good possibility that you might actual get dumber the more you read.  That's why I'm asking anyone that is prone to typing with feet, brushing their teeth with same toothbrush they clean with, or anyone that believes Pokemon is the best anime on the open-market today to please hit your back button or any other escape methods now.   This is due to the high risk of them being reduced to the level of mindless drones (the Pokemon fans may not notice much of a difference)

For those of you that are familiar with the series, YOU ACTUALLY CAME BACK?!?!?  For those of you that are new, you can still save yourself. Wait... too late, you might as well sit back and enjoy.  To give you a quick overview, the series is based on the mixing of popular anime titles characters with products, services, and situations that they should never be intended to be with or in.

The original "Stupid Commercials" pitted Ryoga and Akane together in a pizza deliver shop.

   =>With her cooking and him delivering, NOTHING can go wrong!<=

Well, after the blast of responses, that one joke grew like a festering sore.  Each time I started to go back to my regular works, I'd get an idea from someone to do another.  I've worked with some really good fanfic writers, but I stopped writing for a while due to boredom.  I was sucked back into the game thanks to the recent posting of a fic called "Akane can Cook."   With that in mind, I release the next installment.

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Miracle Cure
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Hi there�

Are you an athlete looking to get an edge on your competition?
(Shoot to scene of two track runners running side by side)
Athlete #1 = I could try to trip him.

Do you need something that will enhance your abilities and skills?
(Shoot to scene of another athlete reading a "How - to" book on sports performance enhancing)
Athlete #2 = Ew�.  It has pictures.

Have you ever dreamed about reaching the highest goal?
(Shoot to scene of another athlete sleeping in class.)
Athlete #3 (snoring) = ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz��.   Win�   ZZZzzzzzzzzz�..

Well we have only one word for you.
(Shoot to scene of the three athletes standing together)
Athlete #1 = Practice???
Athlete #2 = Determination???
Athlete #3 = Steroids???

(Shot to a close up of Mr. Miracle, one of the stars of Battle Athlete)
NOOO!!!!  CHOCOLATE!!!!

A lot of dietitians and healthy people would like you to believe that a good diet and rigorous training are the best ways to hone your body and skills.  Those people know nothing!

Miracle brand chocolate bars have everything you need to create your own athletic miracle.  It's chocked full of sugar and preservatives, which all athletes need to succeed.

Why settle for less, when you can experience the best.  Sure gatorade and powerade can restore electrolytes to your body, but Miracle brand chocolates actually taste good.  Now don't you think taste is all that matters?  Here let's see how one of our satisfied customers feel.

(Shoot to scene of Tonya, another <hyper> character from Battle Athletes, frantically running and flailing her arms around in circles)
Tonya = Aeiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!  Sugar Rush!!!  Can't Stop!!!  Sugar Rush!!! Can't Stop!!!  Sugar Rush!!!  Can't Stop!!!  Sugar Rush!!!

(Shoot back to scene of Mr. Miracle)
Miracle brand chocolate bars are guaranteed to supply you with all you're going to need.  I stand behind this product totally.  It's the only thing I've eaten for the past few decades, so you know it must work perfectly.

***Mr. Miracle begins to faint and then topples over headfirst.  Two doctors run over to him.  One preps his arm, while the other prepares an I.V. filled with chocolate.  As soon as they stick it into him, he pops back up**

Miracle = So if you want to feel the miracle, go out and buy yours today!

~~~Narrator~~
Miracle brand chocolates may contain poison.  They also may cause blindness, fainting, flatulence, uncontrollable bile movements <a constant desire to have them, and an inability to stop them>, nausea, upset stomach, sniffling, sneezing, headaches, bad breath, bad hair, athlete's foot, jock itch, several various STD's, an admiration for folk music, riverdance <a constant desire to watch it, and an inability to stop it>, delusions of grandeur, intergalactic measles and a mild itch.


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I'll Have a Popsi Please
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****Scene opens in an ordinary diner****
  Two girls, one of teenager size
  the other of a small girl size,
  enter into the diner and walk up
****to the counter to place an order****

((The teenager sits down first and gets the attention of the Bar Keeper))

A-ko:  Hey, can we get some service over here?

Mel:  Sure, call me Mel...  So what'll ya have?

A-ko:  You go ahead C-ko, it's going to take a while before they can
     make everything I'll want.

C-ko:  (grins and looks toward Mel)  I'll just want a Popsi please.

Mel:  Coming right up sweetheart.

(Mel gets a cup and goes to fill it with soda, but he doesn't have Popsi.  So he fills the cup with Coocoo Cola instead)

Mel:  (hands the filled glass over to C-ko) Here ya go darling.
    (he then turns toward A-ko to take here order) So, what'll it
     be.

A-ko:  Okay, I'll have everything on row... (she was cut off before
     she could finish, by this deep scary voice.)

***Shoot to close up of C-ko <who's eyes are red and has a yellow glowing aura***


EVIL C-ko:  I specifically asked for a Popsi!

Mel:  We don't have Popsi, that's just about the same though.

A-Ko:  Uh Oh....

EVIL C-ko:  For this blatant disrespect, you have doomed this world
          The street will run red with blood. All life as you know
          it will cease.  Cities will topple.  The seven seas will
          turn black and void of life.  All that you hold dear will
          become nothing more than memories, and then I will destroy
          this planet altogether.

(One of the waitresses runs up and hands C-ko a can of Popsi)

Alice:  Here kid...  Drink this.

C-ko (back to cute innocent voice):  Thank you.

Alice: (walks back over to Mel and smacks him in the back of the head)
     You cheap bum... I told you to stock up on drinks and look at
     what happens.   This is the 2ND this week I've had to save the
     world.  Well... What do ya have to say for yourself?!?!

Mel:  How was I to know she was gonna do that.  I thought she was
    going to start singing like Aretha Fraklin.

A-ko:  Ah... Mister...  my order...  I want everything on row A and
     row B

(Mel and Alice stare at each other and then back to C-ko and A-ko, then they go back to work)

So remember, nothing is a substitute for a Popsi�    DON�T EVER FORGET THAT!!!

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Lick the Spoon Clean
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***Sound of loud slashing rip-shoot, engines revving up, and then the voice of the narrator***


sunday!

Sunday!!

SUNDAY!!!


Come see the ultimate battle allowed in a closed area.  Never before have so many creators of havoc been together in such a heated competition.

This no hold barred grudge match will pit the best of the best with no mercy allowed.   If you get to close to this action, you�re likely to loose an arm.  This is certain to go down as the Battle Royal to end all battles.

Finally see the match ups that you�ve been waiting for.  Watch as the title of �King of the FreeLoaders� is finally decided between Ranma and Genma Saotome.

*** Shoot to scene of Ranma and Genma staring each other down***

Genma:  I�m going to eat everything in sight Boy!

Ranma:  Good�.   You can eat my dust while your at it Old Man

Akane:  Okay, I�ll cook for this event�

Ranma & Genma:  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

***BACK TO NARRATOR***

Who says these events are nothing more but mindless brawling.  You can actually catch a friendship unfold in the �Battle for C-ko� challenge, as heavy favorite A-ko �The Munchinator�  takes on the underdog  B-ko �The Snackster.�

To compensate for the extreme advantage A-ko would posses, we have a special guest chef just for this match.  C-ko �the Poison Pot� will lend her cooking abilities for the battle that only one person will walk away from.

***Shoot to scene of A-ko and B-ko staring each other down***

A-ko:  She�s got nothing�  I don�t even have to worry about this Ally McBeal wanna be.

B-ko:  Go ahead and eat yourself silly.   After you die from C-ko�s cooking, I�ll have here all to myself.

C-ko:  Huh�  That�s not a nice thing to say!!!  You�re a meanie�

***Back to narrator***

Watch as Gourry �The Knight with a Bite� take on the five time Eat�em up Champion Lina �The Bottomless Pit� Inverse,  in what will be the final event for all the cookies (and whatever maybe left)

***Shoot to close up of Lina with a mouth full of food and a drumstick in one hand***

Lina:  I might even skip lunch for this...

***Shoot to close up of Gourry***

Gourry:  Bring it  on FLATTY!!!

***Back to narrator***

We have a solid gold bucket of extra crispy and original KFC that will be given to the overall time winner.  It will be presented by the Colonel himself.

Colonel:  I can do that, I�m the Colonel...

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Okay, that does it for this installment.  If you have an idea for more, feel free to send it.  However, I must warn you that I�m overstocked with good ideas that have already been sent to me.  So if you don�t see you idea in the next update, that�s not because I�m blowing you off.  Rather  it�s been filed into the need to write box.   I would also like to thank everyone else that helped make this possible and for any other support that was sent to me.

Oh yeah, to anyone that may be dumber now,  Oops�.   Sorry�.
And you Pokemon fans�.  Well, like I said you haven�t noticed a change

Ja Ne

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