DF Roeder wrote:
Hmmm, not much preamble... :)
Not much need for it here.
As Ryouko finished her declaration, gigantic tentacles hundreds of
feet
long and dozens of feet across shot out of the water and wrapped
themselves
around Ryo-Ohki, halting her in mid-flight.
"I hate you," Aeka said calmly to Ryouko right before Ryo-Ohki was
dragged
into the icy depths of the ocean below.
HAHAHAHAAAA!!!! You MUST be breaking some kind of literary wall there,
Or at least treading on the ground of 'poor taste'. ^_^
but I'm stumped as to what kind. :) :) :) :) :) Five smileys for that
one.
Thanks.
Vacation Days
Chapter 7
YAY!!!
Gee, maybe I should turn these out quicker if I can get a reaction like
that.
[...]
First light for the remaining crew of the Rack N'Ruin and their Galaxy
Police partners turned out to be a couple of hours after light first
struck.
Maybe I'm just being dense, but that sentence confuses me.
The last chapter ended with Stargrave declaring 'we're leaving at first
light'. This was a continuation of that thought. When the chapters come one
after another instead of a couple of weeks apart, it flows, much better.
then
thoroughly reexamined the ruins of the ship one more time.
A handful of additional items were recovered on their second
inception.
inspection(?)
Yes. Don't know how that one happened.
some water treated
water-treated (although I suggest "waterproof")
Much better.
"Neratron," Onita said under his breath. It was an incredibly
resilient
substance that could transform directly from gas to solid. Among other
things, it was frequently used as a cheap alternative to contain
prisoners,
its unique molecular structure putting them in a form of basic
suspended
animation. Its advantages were that it cut down on the amount of space
required to keep prisoners and one did not have to worry about feeding
and
maintaining them. On the downside, the suspended animation was not
always
one hundred percent effective and occasionally the prisoners died
while
entombed in the substance. That complication failed to stop some less
scrupulous individuals and governments from using it anyway.
Ugh. Unpleasant, but highly plausible.
Thanks. Glad it's background works.
with
sharp minds and quick wits. That they also tended to stand between
seven
and ten feet tall, bore very sharp teeth and sharper claws, and
weighed in
around five hundred to seven hundred pounds of solid muscle that could
break most other sentient races in half without halfway-trying
I'm not sure about the hyphenation. Any takers?
I went ahead and dropped it.
did not hurt
in most of their negotiations either.
Of course not! Might is always a great deterrant. :)
It's always been a decent tool to keep me in line.
Onita had never met one himself, but
Sasquish were usually spoken of in terms of great respect.
No play on Sasquatch, of course. ~_^
Nah. ^_^
stare from Ariana.
It took a great deal of effort on Funuyaki's part to refrain
commenting to
Ariana about how some dogs took after their masters a little too well.
My, my. We're all just one big, happy family, aren't we?
It's just 'that time of the month' for the little dear. ^_^
After another tension filled moment -in which Funuyaki felt a curious,
prickly sensation from the back of her neck- Stargrave relaxed and
gave her
a smile that radiated even more lethality than the glare had. This
time
Ariana did not bother matching Stargrave's outward change (not that
Funuyaki thought she could match it) as both she and Stargrave turned
away
from the officer and returned to inventorying the goods. The moment
Stargrave turned away, Funuyaki felt the sensation disappear. She
shook it
off as just her finely honed officer's warning sense giving her an
appropriate warning that her life had been in danger.
Hmmm... that was ominous.
Yep.
came
down to a duel. She knew Onita was skilled in combat and had a
tendency
towards excessive violence, but her money would have been placed on
Ariana.
As much as she couldn't stand the woman, she exuded an air of
controlled
lethality.
Perhaps overuse of "lethality". Maybe "deadliness"?
Okay.
He took a moment to pull the locator out and examine its
viewscreen once again. The blip still remained at the exact same
coordinates it had before. If it stayed that way for one more day, it
would
be his once again. And then he would prove Autolycus wrong as the
galaxy
trembled at his feet.
Oof! Suggest some kind of scene break marker:
Aside from the first three chapters or so, when the two parties were nearly
a galaxy apart, I've just been going with double line breaks. It would feel
kind of odd to start using them now.
one of
them, that girl would hit him and say she wasn't interested in him and
that
he should try to harass one of the other girls. Each rejection caused
the
class to laugh at him, but he still persisted in spite of the
humiliation.
He was sure one of them would break down and like him eventually. He
just
knew it.
Heh. I'm trying to figure out if you're prepping the reader for some
eventual decision on Tenchi's part or just teasing us to distraction. :)
Only time will tell, yes? ^_^
There were other, non-romantic interests in the dream as well. There
was
the tall, pale, greyish-haired teacher with the small glasses on his
nose,
who seemed to have a bad tendency to come after Tenchi with an energy
sword
whenever he got an answer wrong.
Heh. Kagato-sensei!
I think he'd make a great teacher. Just think of what he'd do to any
discipline problems in the class.
came out of it and groggily awakened a little. He was too exhausted to
force his eyes open, and a part of him wanted the dream to turn out
better
anyway. Distantly, he felt himself fluff up his squishy pillows and
made
make
his head more comfortable before trying to drift off again.
Oh, no! Poor Mihoshi's going to get all the wrong ideas... or the right
ones. :)
Unless she sleeps through the whole thing, of course.
Where would a couple of squishy, yet
comfortable pillows come from? And why had he developed a sudden
craving
for milk?
GAH!!! Got milk?
Heh
hands away from their contact point. With no method of support, he
went
crashing back down face first in-between Mihoshi's breasts once again.
On
the bright side, they served to cushion what might have been a painful
experience, very nicely.
Tenchi assessed the situation.
Yeah, uh-huh. Assessed.
Heh. Again.
Evidently, at some point during the night he
had sought a more comfortable position on the hard and cold ground and
ended up sprawled out directly on top Mihoshi
top of Mihoshi
and used her as a makeshift
mattress.
Well, at least he's getting some use out of her. *BA-DUM! SWISH!*
Ouch! That was a bad one. ^_^
Currently, their bodies were pointed in the same direction; he
was just lower than her.
Now THERE's a double meaning for ya!
I think you're reading too much into it. Then again...
raise himself off her and found he was effectively locked into the
position
he was currently in. He tried raising himself up on his knees, but
Mihoshi's legs kept themselves wrapped around his back, tightening a
bit as
he tried moving his hips up.
[Talk about thighs of steel. And I thought Ryouko was strong.]
*SNORT!*
Well, technically Ryouko is stronger and could break steel with her thighs,
if she wasn't careful.
"You be quiet!" Tenchi hissed. At that moment, Mihoshi moaned
slightly.
Tenchi had enough time to whisper, "Oh shit," before Mihoshi wrapped
her
arms around his head and smothered him into her cleavage.
Gee, where've I seen these before?
He still has that craving for milk, don't you know.
and unbelievable sounding excuse as to what he was doing on top of
Mihoshi.
Sure, knowing Mihoshi she'd believe him, and amazingly it would be the
truth, but he would still feel stupid in having to admit to crawling
on top
of her like some kind of pervert in the middle of the night.
Dont' worry, Son, she'd rather you be a pervert and do that than not.
S'truth. Maybe Tenchi will get another opportunity to act like a lech.
As he was still in the process of trying to reevaluate
reevaluate or evaluate?
evaluate's better. I'm going with it.
"Oh yes, I like it when you say things like that. It makes me feel so
wanted."
Wanted. Dead or Alive. Masaki Tenchi. Accosted a Galaxy Policewoman in
her sleep.
Heh.
Tenchi felt at odds with himself.
Hmmm... I'm trying to decide if this is unusual or not.
It sounded okay to me. He's feeling a conflict of emotions, almost opposite
of one another, over the same thing. If you can recommend anything better
I'm all ears.
"Ohh, what would the others think if they heard you say that about
me?"
Floating power logs! Energy swords! Mallets... no, wrong series.
Heh. I'm sure at least one of the girls could come up with something less
exotic, like a mallet.
That piqued his curiosity further, the feelings of disgust falling by
the
wayside. Was she dreaming about him?
Feh, he wishes.
Mihoshi: "Oh, Katsuhito-dono!"
Tenchi: ...!
hehehehehe,
"I bet Aeka and Ryouko would get angry. They get jealous so easily if
they're made to feel inadequate. Thanks for choosing me."
O_o
Wait for it.
So it was about him. He should have known. Still, it was to be
expected.
ARGH! Someone needs to knock him down a peg or four.
Wait for it.
She had made her interest in him known, even if she was not quite as
forward as the other girls tended to be. The other girls probably
dreamt
about his as well. His pride swelled at the implication as Mihoshi
spoke
again.
"Of course, I'd be happy to help you with the cooking, Sasami."
HAHAHAAAA!!! Touche!
Yep. Standard misdirection joke. I figured most people would see that
coming, but would not figure out that Mihoshi was referring to cooking with
Sasami. Glad you liked it.
Facefaulting while lying flat and being smothered in someone's ample
cleavage is a physical impossibility, a universal law that even Washuu
could not break even if she felt inclined to try. That was the only
thing
that prevented Tenchi from doing so at that moment.
:)
But his heart was in the right place.
Tenchi would tickle her. Sure. That would work. No problem.
*sound of reader slapping forehead and moaning*
He doomed himself with the 'no problem' bit.
...tighten. Her legs grasped at his waist with a power that he could
scarcely believe, and his face was smothered into her chest again. Low
moans of passion could be heard as she cried out, "Oh yes, Tenchi!
Yes!
Keep doing that! Keep touching me there!" Her hips began bucking up as
she
continued moaning.
O_o
o_O
The girl's got a lot of pent up energy. That's all. Really.
Tenchi stopped 'tickling' immediately.
Wimp.
A lot of the time.
That had not been his fault. How the
hell was he to know that that area of Mihoshi's body was a sexually
sensitive one? She was an alien, for crying out loud! And what was
worse
was that his own body had begun to respond to the rather animated
reaction
Mihoshi had to his stimulation.
Well, at least he's quasi-normal.
True. And as Tenchi would tell you, he's not latently bi-sexual either, no
matter what that little voice in his head says.
both
her arms and legs, and Tenchi used the opportunity to get off of her
and as
far away as he possibly could. After a moment, Mihoshi's giggles
subsided
and she began snoring once more.
"I need a vacation," Tenchi moaned as he flopped back on the ground.
*laughter* Even his vacations are exhausting. :)
Yep. A vacation from this vacation could end up killing him.
Stargrave brought the device closer in an almost protective gesture.
"Hardly. This is the only means we have to track it. If we lose this,
we
might as well be looking for an Argathian Tick in a Fildebeests Punt."
And we all know how tiresome that is!
It's just a bad as looking for a deedle in plaxstack. Yep.
[...]
Mihoshi refrained from giggling, instead content to bask in Tenchi's
obvious enjoyment of the scene. The wave of emotions that washed over
her
at the knowledge that something she had pointed out had made Tenchi
feel so
happy surprised her. It made her feel content, and yet much happier
than
she had been in a long time as well. It was most confusing.
Poor Miho. She doesn't even completely understand her deeper emotions.
It's a surprisingly common trait with people who are in love.
[...]
Hearing none of the expected sounds of violence, Mihoshi opened her
eyes
and saw that block of Sasquish standing in front of her, not more than
five
feet away. She looked curiously at her glove. Wow! I forgot I had one
of
these."
Missing opening quotes. "Wow! I...
Man, Tenchi is just all thumbs in this story.
Well, he's just been completely out of his environment until now. Now that
he's having direct confrontations with the oppposition, he's finally
getting something he can act against.
Good thing no one's had to
rely on his, ah, skills as yet. Or will he pull it out of the hat right
at the end? Maybe the LHW's are one of the few things that can destroy a
Shihana plant. Whatever.
You shall see. As you might have guessed from the number of bad guys left,
things are starting to build up to a finale.
Tenchi covered his ears as the roar of the miniature avalanche
deafened
him. He too sent a silent prayer to the heavens above; one in which he
hoped the overhang he was under would not collapse from the weight
from
above. Less than ten seconds after it started, it was over. Tenchi
waited
for the dust to settle, and his hearing to return, before scrambling
out
from the underhang and running as far away from the area of the pass
that
had collapsed. Just because the initial wave was over did not mean
there
would not be a second rockslide, perhaps even worse than the first.
EGAD! Tenchi has mastered the most dangerous technique of all: THE
MIHOSHI EFFECT! *Cue large drum beats.*
Heh. Well his luck had been pretty lousy to date. Now it's starting to
swing back the other way. Maybe he'll even get that master key to work
properly before all is said and done.
Guilt shot through Tenchi as he made his way over to her and carefully
picked her up. How could he have forgotten her so quickly? True, he
had
been attacked, cut, and nearly buried alive, but once it was obvious
he was
out of any immediate danger he should have been at her side. Instead,
he
had stared at a big pile of rocks while Mihoshi could have been dying.
If
anything happened to her, it would be his fault for not reacting in
time.
Awful hard on himself.
He completely forgot about her for a moment, and given the fact Tenchi's a
sympathetic person (who's also a weenie some of the time) he's
overrreacting to his callousness
Tenchi felt a headache come on. "Mihoshi, do you have any idea how
many
different twenty five number combinations are possible on a twenty
digit
pad like that? The idea that you can just randomly punch buttons and
hope
you somehow come up with the right combination is-"
*WHIRR...THUD*
*sigh* Tenchi's lived in his own universe long enough that he ought to
know better by now. :)
Wait for it.
"Ohhhh, that's really pretty. You know. I think that second orb inside
the
first one is made out of polynison. That's strange because it's
really,
really expensive and to use that much of it would cost a small
fortun...Tenchi, why are you hitting your head into the ground and
saying
'Why do I even bother' over and over again?"
:)
See. He agrees. ^_^
Tenchi didn't answer,
And several feet away, one of the most lethal killers in the universe
remained where it was, only two shields away from blossoming as it was
created to do.
Yikes!!! Talk about high-concept!
Very nice, DB. Can't wait for more. Thanks for sharing!
You're weclome. Thanks a lot for the comments. As always they were very
useful and enjoyable to read.
D.B. Sommer