KaraOhki wrtoe:
"Then be strong for them."
I can feel his arms shaking. "I'll try. I'll try."
My sight is dimming. I must see his face one more time, and I pull
back so I can look at him.
"Thank you. Good bye, Soun. I love you."
Very nice work on the misdirection. It had be going right up to the last
sentence, whereas originally I had assumed you were simply drawing a
parallel with Akane's life to that of her mother. And the story flowed well
enough that even though you didn't use any names, I wasn't really
consciously aware of it until towards the end. Overall a nice quick to
read piece.
DB Sommer