----- Original Message -----
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
To: "KaraOhki" <karaohki@snet.net>
Cc: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Sunday, January 09, 2000 10:54 PM
Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic][Ranma][Reflections on an Arranged
Marriage][short]
KaraOhki wrtoe:
"Then be strong for them."
I can feel his arms shaking. "I'll try. I'll try."
My sight is dimming. I must see his face one more time, and I pull
back so I can look at him.
"Thank you. Good bye, Soun. I love you."
Very nice work on the misdirection. It had be going right up to the
last
sentence, whereas originally I had assumed you were simply drawing a
parallel with Akane's life to that of her mother. And the story
flowed well
enough that even though you didn't use any names, I wasn't really
consciously aware of it until towards the end. Overall a nice quick
to
read piece.
thank you, I appreciate that! I was truly trying to deceive, and
unsure if it would work.
June