Muyami Academy
What if they ALL went to the same school?
Previous chapters at: http://members.xoom.com/bellchan/
Thanks to my prereaders, T.H. Tiger, Bombadil Goh,
Jeffrey Cornish and William Morse. Also thanks to Jed Hagen
and Stardragon for surprise C&C. ^_^
DISCLAIMER: Ranma 1/2 characters and stuff, and Inu-
Yasha characters and stuff, not to mention Ursei Yatsura
characters and stuff, copyright 1999 Rumiko Takehashi.
Tenchi Muyou characters and stuff, copyright 1999 Pioneer &
AIC. Mamono Hunter Yohko characters and stuff copyright
1999 AD Vision, NCS, Toho Company, LTD, Mad House, and
I don't know who else. Koko wa Greenwood characters
copyright Yuki Nasu. Mint na Bokura characters copyright
Wataru Yoshizume. Other characters and stuff also copyright
the creators and owners.
And I hope you all realize I'm ignoring my Everquest guild in order to
fix this up and post it. =P Although I really haven't rewritten it
much from the prereader version.
This is another big chapter, so I'm splitting it into two. Last time I
turned one chapter into three. The advantage to doing that was people
who said, "Wow, three new chapters!" The disadvantage was people who
said, "It's taking you four chapters just to get through the first
school day!" So um, I won't split chapter 9 then... or I might be
accused of taking FIVE chapters to get through the first day of school,
hehe. Nobody wants that! ^_^;
Chapter Nine
Round and Round
Kyosuke Kasuga set his bowl down and glanced across
the table at the girl he loved, Madoka Ayukawa, and her
roommate, Belldandy.
"Belldandy, that was some of the best miso soup I've ever
had!" he exclaimed. "Madoka, do you have that recipe? It's
much better than what my sisters make...."
Next to him, his new friend Keichi Morosato, Belldandy's
boyfriend, grinned. "Belldandy is a fantastic cook!" he said.
"Everything she touches tastes wonderful."
Belldandy blushed. "It's not a difficult recipe," she said,
"and Madoka helped me make it, so I'm sure she can do it
again. The most important ingredient is her love for you."
Madoka looked a little embarrassed. Even Kyosuke was
amazed that Belldandy could utter such trite and syrupy
phrases with such sincerity and conviction. "Well," he said,
"maybe it's true what they say about you...."
"Oh? What is that?"
Kyosuke grinned. "Everyone says that that you're a
goddess!"
Keichi spewed water across the table.
"It's just a misunderstanding!" Keichi exclaimed. "I'm
always saying Belldandy could be a goddess, because she's so
nice! Someone probably overheard me, but it's just an
expression! It doesn't mean that she's really...."
"Really a goddess?" Madoka said. She raised an eyebrow.
Belldandy blinked at the three of them in mild confusion.
"Keichi," Kyosuke said, "I didn't mean to imply that
Belldandy really was a goddess... I mean, who would believe
such a thing?"
The phone rang. "I'll get it!" Belldandy said, jumping up.
"I wonder who that could be?"
The others grew quiet. Belldandy picked up the phone.
"Hello? This is Belldandy, President of Matsukata Hall...
what? Oh, my! Really? But that's... oh my! Yes. Yes, and
thank you for calling me!"
Belldandy hung up the phone. Her eyes were wide with
alarm. "Oh, my," she said. "That was Mitsuru Ikeda, President
of the boy's dorm. He said that a group of unruly boys were
coming here to conduct a 'panty raid'."
Anger flashed in Madoka's eyes, and she leapt to her feet.
"They wouldn't!" she exclaimed. "Of all the nerve...." She
paused and glanced back at Keichi and Kyosuke. "Well, we'll
just have to stop them, then."
"Yes," Belldandy said, nodded her head firmly. "That's
exactly what we must do. Only," she paused, looking
embarrassed and confused.
"Yes?"
"What, exactly, is a 'panty raid'?"
***
The boys of Sakagawa Hall poured into the girl's dorm
and gathered in the commons room. They quickly split into
three detachments, having been drilled beforehand by their
tactician, Katsuhito Jinnai. Using a three-pronged attack, they
struck all three floors of the dorm at once.
It was a brilliant plan. And it would have worked at
almost any other school. But this was Muyami Academy, and
the girl's dorm happened to be chock-a-block full of girls who
were unbelievably powerful when aroused, who were expert
fencers, brilliant martial artists, and veterans of street gang
fighting. Some were from other planets and some from other
dimensions; some were born with unusual powers, and some
were simply built to be very cute weapons of destruction.
Some tossed lightning or energy bolts, some tossed knives and
shiruiken or fired blasters, some casts magic spells, and some
cooked food so toxic it would make a Russian biological
warfare expert weep for joy.
Some, it was true, were ordinary schoolgirls. But it
should be noted that the ordinary Japanese schoolgirl is often
cited as one of the most powerful forces in nature.
In short, Katsuhito Jinnai's panty-raid battle plan, as
brilliant as it was, had snowman's chance in hell of succeeding.
Problems cropped up on the first floor, where Hatta led
several boys to an early success. Amid the screams of startled
girls, his group quickly snatched their silky prizes and headed
back up the hallway.
"Halt!" someone called out, and then several objects
whizzed by their heads.
Their hands were suddenly empty. Behind them, several
pairs of underwear were nailed to the wall... with guitar picks.
The girls standing before them were dorm President
Belldandy and her roommate, Madoka Ayukawa. Hatta
recalled Madoka's rumored furyoo (juvenile delinquent)
background. She was known as "Madoka the pick".
"Leave," Madoka said, "or the next one lands in your
forehead."
"You boys should be ashamed of yourselves," Belldandy
added. And the funny thing was, when she said it, they did feel
ashamed.
"Yes, ma'am," Hatta found himself saying. "We're sorry
for the disturbance. We'll be going now."
The other boys mumbled apologies, and the group ran as
fast as they could for their own dorm.
Meanwhile, on the third floor, another group of boys had
run into Lum, Nuku Nuku, and a girl who called herself Biko.
It wasn't a pretty sight.
"Pervert!" Lum screamed, finding the boys in the hallway
with panties in hand. There was a deafening crackle of
electricity, and half the boys collapsed in a heap.
"Hentai!" Biko yelled. Demonstrating amazing strength,
she hefted two boys off the ground by their own underwear.
The screams from the resulting super-wedgies would have
shaken members of the inquisition.
Nuku Nuku clapped her hands together. "Whee! That
looks like fun!" she exclaimed. "It's just like when Arisa and
Kiyouko come to play! Let me try!"
The remaining boys glanced at each other. Most of them
had heard of the cyborg cat girl, her amazing strength, and her
occasional battles with the two of Mishima's top agents. Nuku-
Nuku had been brought online by Science Teacher Kyuusaku
Natusme last quarter, and had already helped destroy several
parts of the school. The stories were legend among returning
students.
The boys dropped their stolen goods and fled.
On the second floor, things were a little different. Most of
the boys ran afoul of a kicking, punching purple-haired
dynamo named Shampoo, and a girl named Utena who wielded
a very sharp saber with expert precision. These boys were
quickly subdued. Ukyo, however, was a martial artist herself
and had been eager to get the whole thing over with. She'd
moved quickly and decisively, dodging past Shampoo and
Utena and running quickly towards her goal.
And then there was Ataru Moroboshi....
***
Chunks of concrete and bits of plaster lay scattered across
the room, along with kitchen implements and the contents of
what was once Akane's bookshelf. The meal, or what was left
of it, was buried under debris and a settling layer of dust.
Akane surveyed the damage to her and Nanami's room,
stunned.
Floating before the hole she'd just created in the side of
the dormitory was Ryoko.
Tenchi leapt to his feet. "Ryoko!" he yelled, "what do you
think you're doing?"
"Tenchi!" Ryoko exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. She
started forward, arms wide to embrace the boy she loved, but
Ayeka stepped in front of Tenchi.
"Ryoko, you monster!" she growled. "This time you've
gone too far!"
"Too far?" Ryoko replied. "I just want to be near my
Tenchi...."
"That's no excuse for blowing holes in the dormitory!"
Ryoko glanced back at the destroyed wall as if noticing it
for the first time. "But concrete walls are so fragile!"
"You monster woman!" Ayeka yelled. "Must you ruin
everything? Why, I have half a mind to...."
"Think you can take me, Princess?" Ryoko growled, her
eyes flashing. "What a laugh! Well, give me your best shot!"
Lightning crackled between the two. All eyes in the room
were focused on them, except for Akane's. She was staring at
the dust-covered, rubble-strewn spot on the floor where her
curry rice dinner had been only moments earlier.
"Yohko didn't even get a chance to taste it," she
whispered, so softly that nobody else noticed. Tears rolled
down her face. "That... that was the very best meal I've ever
made!"
The air about Akane began to glow blue. In seconds it
was a brilliant, blazing blue that crackled audibly. Akane's
head swiveled up and focused on Ryoko. She stalked forward.
The alien girl with the blue-green hair was too busy to
notice. She was locked in a battle of wills with the elder
Princess of Jurai.
"Ryoko, you IDIOT!" Akane yelled at the top of her
lungs. Her uppercut caught Ryoko squarely under the jaw, and
sent the alien girl flying back out the hole in the wall. Akane
immediately launched herself through the hole, planting a
flying kick in Ryoko's midsection.
Ryoko looked surprised, but she wrapped her hands about
Akane's ankle. Since they'd begun on the second floor, this left
Akane dangling upside down, staring at the sidewalk and the
grass below her. Akane reached up to grab Ryoko's arm.
Ryoko let go, and with her other arm, punched Akane in the
stomach.
Akane's eyes dimmed, as the force of the punch drove her
down. She hit the grass with a thud, and lay there, unmoving.
***
Ataru Moroboshi was not a martial artist. He did not have
special abilities or psychic powers, and he didn't know a magic
spell from a spelling bee. He was a poor student, a clumsy
athlete, and socially inept, and if that weren't enough, he also
happened to be the unluckiest human being on the face of the
planet. But there was one thing that Ataru was good at, one
thing that he'd dedicated his life to with the willpower and
tenacity of top-ranked athlete or a secluded monk.
Ataru Moroboshi was a master of chasing girls.
At the moment, he was in his element, and that made him
all but unstoppable.
Utena-chan!" he exclaimed cheerfully as he leaped and
twisted over her lunging sword. His hand darted into her
underwear drawer and emerged with something that proved she
did not dress entirely in masculine attire. Ataru sidestepped
Utena's riposte, snatched an item from Anthy's dresser drawer,
and dodged back into the hallway.
"Shampoo-chan!" he called out, as he rolled under a swift
kick. He quickly snatched an item from her dresser, and one
from Shinobu's, while managing to avoid several blows and
kicks. "Thank you so much!" he called out, as he ran out the
door.
"Hitomi-chan! Miaka-chan!" He grinned like a fool,
snatched up two pairs of underwear, and was gone.
"Nabiki-chan!" he said. "Where's Ayeka-chan?" Not
waiting for an answer, he snatched a pair of the Princess's
knickers, then turned to Nabiki's dresser.
The drawer was locked.
Nabiki, seated on her bed, dangled something made from
blue satin and lace. "Five thousand yen," she said, "and I
expect them to be returned when this is over."
Ataru raised his eyebrows, shrugged, and then dug into his
pocket. Moments later he was bounding down the hall, looking
to add to his collection.
***
Inside Akane's suddenly drafty dorm room, Tenchi,
Ayeka, Chigako and Shinobu Miyake watched as Akane and
Ryoko disappeared through the gaping hole and into the night.
"Ryoko!" Tenchi yelled.
"Get back here, you witch!" Ayeka yelled. "This isn't
finished!"
Ayeka leapt forward and through the opening in the wall.
Growling, Tenchi grabbed his namesake and followed her.
Chigako and Shinobu blinked at each other in confusion.
In the hallway just outside, Ranma, Ukyo, Ryoga and
Yohko were also staring at each other in confusion.
"I can explain everything!" Ranma said. She paused,
apparently running over the events of the last few minutes.
"Well, actually, I can't," she added, "but that's no reason to get
mad!"
"Ranma, there's a demon nearby," Yohko said. She had a
serious look on her face. "I don't mean Tenchi's weird
girlfriend either," she added.
"A demon?" Ranma repeated. But Yohko wasn't listening
to her. With another glance at her yoma ring, Yohko Mano ran
through Akane's room and out into the night.
"Does this look like a new fire escape?" Shinobu asked.
"Hey!" Ranma said, "wait for me!" She ran after Yohko,
leaping out through the hole in the wall.
"Ranchan!" Ryoga called out, running after her. "Be
careful! It might be dangerous!"
"This is a dorm room!" Shinobu called out. "Not a Tokyo
subway station!"
Ukyo glanced down at the baby blue satin panties in her
hand, with white lace trim. She growled, stuffed the underwear
beneath her shirt, and ran after the others.
In the room, Chigako and Shinobu watched as everyone
took leave of their collective senses and took flying leaps from
the second floor.
"Ohmyancestors!" Chigako exclaimed, springing to her
feet. "It's another demon battle, and I don't have my video
camera! Be back in a second!" She dashed into the hallway.
Shinobu sat on the floor of Akane's suddenly very empty
room. She stared out the gaping hole and the darkness beyond.
"And here," she said, "I thought that I'd come to this
school, make some new friends, and completely forget about
Ataru and Lum." She sighed. "My life is supposed to become
more normal, not less."
She sighed, and got to her feet. "Might as well go see
what's up. Although, if they think I'm going to leap through a
hole on the second floor...."
***
Near the steps that led to the main entrance to Matsukata
Hall, with rose bushes growing on either side, was an eight-
foot tall stone statue of Katsushi Matsukata himself. The statue
was green with moss, and the plaque below was covered by dirt
and flowers that had been planted at the base. Few people
knew that Mr. Matsukata had been one of the Jesuit priests who
had helped found the school many many years ago, as had his
friend, Magobee Sakagawa, whose own statue stood near the
entrance to the boy's dorm. The past history of the school
meant little to who currently resided there.
Beneath the shadow of the noble Matsukata, two far less
imposing people sat and conversed in low tones. Both were
impressively wrinkled, with huge eyes and troll-like mouths,
and both stood about two feet tall. One would hesitate to call
them human, but human they were, although neither was what
you'd call an ordinary human.
The shriveled man in the janitor's coveralls sat and
smoked a pipe. It did not seem to relax him as much as he'd
like, and he kept casting glances at the shriveled woman, who
stared at him with the intensity of a sumo champion.
"So," she said, "you faked your death and ran back to
Japan, leaving your poor family behind...."
Happosai shrugged. "I'm sorry, Cologne," he said. "I
tried to control my desires... for girls and... for women's
underclothes." He paused, gripping his pipe with shaking
hands and white knuckles. "But it's just too hard!"
"My parents warned me before I married you," Cologne
said with a sigh. "But I thought you could change. You did so
well, those first few years...."
"The katas you taught me help," Happosai said. "It's... it's
just a matter of concentration, but I...." He sighed. "It's a
weakness in me that I can't overcome. As a martial artist, I am
something of a failure."
"Yes," Cologne said. "And yet, you decided to take on
students."
Happosai's eyes grew wide. "You know about that?"
Cologne smiled. "So those two girls really are students of
your school...."
Happosai nodded, then paused. "Two girls? Akane
Tendo and...?"
"Ranma Saotome."
"Oh, really? Genma's girl, eh?" The old man puffed his
pipe. "How very interesting...."
"Anything-Goes martial arts," Cologne said. "It seems
your school's legacy has begun to spread. How many other
students have you taught?"
"Not many," Happosai conceded. "Although there is
another, here at the school. In fact, she's the reason I got this
job. She convinced me to try, once again, to control my
desires, and so I've been a janitor at this school for the last two
years."
"In a girl's dorm," Cologne added.
"So?" Happosai exclaimed. "I said control, not eradicate!
You can't expect me to be a saint, woman!"
"I realize that," Cologne said. "But Happy, why couldn't
we have faced this together? Why did you have to run
away...?"
"Why?" Happosai said. "Well, um... you know...."
"Yes?" Cologne asked patiently.
"It's just that..." Happosai said, kicking a pebble near his
feet.
"Yes?"
"I mean no disrespect," Happosai said, "but... have you
looked in a mirror lately?"
The air about Cologne began to glow blue.
"Well?" Happosai exclaimed. "Have you, woman?
Whatever happened to the beautiful girl I married? She's gone!
Vanished! There's nothing left but a repulsive old ghoul!"
Happosai's rant was cut short by a resounding THWACK
on the head from Cologne's staff. "Well it's true!" he cried out,
leaping to his feet. "Look at the horrible hag you've turned
into!"
"You're no spring chicken yourself, Happy," Cologne
growled. The glow surrounding her was growing more
intensely bright by the moment.
Happosai began to summon forth his own chi, when
Cologne paused and held up her hand. He turned in the
direction she was looking and stared into the darkness.
"Demon?" he asked. Cologne nodded. "Your senses were
always sharper than mine," he added. Energy began to flow
through him. "On the count of three. One... two...."
***
Ataru ran down the hallway, a pair of pastel yellow
panties on his head. Another pair, with a violet floral pattern,
was tied to a stick in his hand. He waved the stick about, as if
he were the flag bearer in a war in which his dreams and hopes,
and everything he stood for, were at stake. And, in a perverted
way, this was the truth.
Girls screamed and fled from him like Tokyo citizens
fleeing from Godzilla. Ataru was disappointed to not steal a
brief hug from at least a few of them, but, for tonight, he had a
different objective. The rules said that you should steal the
underwear of the one that you loved, but Ataru was the sort to
sample every chocolate in the box. There were many, many
girls in Matsukata Hall, and Ataru had his work cut out for
him.
Soon, with more than half the dorm floor after him, he
fled back to the ground floor. But, rather than flee into the
night, he began hitting the first-floor dorm rooms.
Ataru was, after all, a man with a mission.
"Madoka-chan!" he cried, as a half-dozen guitar picks
sailed by his face. "This will only take a moment!" He
avoided her punch and snatched up what he'd come for.
"Gomen nasai, Miss Belldandy," he added, as he snagged an
item from her drawer. He dodged a kick from Madoka, and
was back in the hallway, laughing like man who'd just won the
lotto.
"Oh, my," Belldandy exclaimed. "What an agile boy he
is!"
***
Ryoko drifted down to hover over Akane, who lay
crumpled on the grass outside. "My, my," she said, "that must
have hurt."
Akane's eyes flew open. Her hand whipped out. She
grabbed Ryoko's ankle and grinned.
Ryoko grinned back. A surge of energy engulfed both her
and Akane. Akane screamed and let go.
"You've landed entirely too many kicks and punches on
me, little Miss Martial Artist," Ryoko growled. "That's going
to end. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch you
again."
Akane growled and leaped to her feet. She assumed a
defensive crouch.
"Bring it on!" Akane yelled.
"Ryoko!" Tenchi growled. He was standing on the grass,
feet apart, with the hilt of his sword in his hands. "What do
you think you're doing?"
Without ever taking her eyes off of Tenchi, Ryoko dodged
a kick and a punch from Akane.
"She didn't invite me to her party!" Ryoko complained.
She sidestepped another fierce kick. "I felt left out, Tenchi...."
"Well? Given the way you've treated her so far she hardly
sees you as a friend."
"How I've treated her?" Ryoko exclaimed, dodging
another attack. "Every time she sees me, she attacks me! And
I have to be extra careful to not hurt her, because she's your
friend, and she's only a fragile human girl...."
"You nearly killed my friend Ranma, you monster!"
Akane yelled. She let fly with a flurry of punches, none of
which ever came near their target.
By this point, a large crowd was gathering on the lawn
between the two dorms. "What's up?" several asked.
"It's a big fight!" Daisuke replied. He and his friend
Hitoshi were front and center, hoping to witness the entire
bloody battle. By this point, however, Akane broke off her
attack, and just stood there breathing heavily.
Ryoko glanced over her shoulder. "That? That was
between me and Ranma, and I've already apologized to her, "
she said.
Eyebrows went up all around, and everyone turned to
Ranma. "Ranma, is that true?" Akane asked.
Ranma shrugged. "I dunno," she said. "I guess you could
call that an apology. Anyway, we had a talk, and we agreed
that we're even. Although I still reserve the right to a rematch,"
she added darkly.
"Anytime, little girl," Ryoko replied.
Akane's anger seemed to dissipate a little. "Well, okay,"
she said, "but that still doesn't excuse you from ruining my
dinner! Yohko hadn't even tried it yet!"
Ryoko settled to the ground. "Well," she said, "that's what
you get for not inviting me." She saw the anger rekindle in
Akane's eyes, and held up her hands, adding, "Don't get angry.
It's easily fixed. I can help you make dinner again, if you like."
Akane relaxed, then smiled hesitantly. "Ryoko, that's...
that's very nice of you to offer...."
"No!" Ayeka yelled. "You'll poison Lord Tenchi!"
Ryoko turned on Ayeka angrily. Tenchi laughed and
scratched the back of his head. "Actually, Ayeka, I'm pretty
full already...."
"I'll help you cook!" Ayeka said with finality. "After all,
it's the duty of the wife to prepare food for her husband."
"And whose wife would you be, Princess?" Ryoko asked.
As the two girls dove headlong into another argument,
Tenchi pulled Ranma aside. "We've gotta do something,
Ranma," he whispered fiercely. "If those two are allowed to
cook...."
"Hey, they can't be any worse than Akane, right?" Ranma
replied with a laugh. Her laughter faded as she saw the
seriousness and the horror reflected in Tenchi eyes.
"You can't be serious," Ranma began.
"I hate to say it," Tenchi said, "but they might be the two
worst cooks on the planet."
"Worse than Akane?" Ranma said. "Is that really
possible?"
"Is there going to be a fight, or not?" Daisuke asked,
somewhat disappointed. Despite their bickering, even Ryoko
and Ayeka seemed more inclined to a cooking duel than an
outright brawl.
A hand grabbed Ranma's shoulder and spun her about.
"Ranchan?" Ukyo asked. "Is it really you?"
Ranma's eyes went wide. "Uchan, I...."
"Ranchan, why in the world are you dressed like that?"
Ranma blinked. "Like what?"
"Like a girl, of course!"
Ranma glanced down at herself, then shrugged. "Because
I am a girl?" she replied.
The crowd winced as a loud slap echoed across the lawn.
Ranma's face instantly turned red where Ukyo had struck her.
"Liar!" Ukyo retorted. "You're my fiancee! Why would I
be engaged to a girl?"
"Um... because you're a boy?" Daisuke offered.
Ryoga stepped between Ranma and Ukyo. "You
coward!" he growled. "How dare you strike my fiancee!
Prepare to die!"
"Fiancee?" Ukyo said, dodging Ryoga's punch. She
glared at Ranma. "This boy is your fiancee? You're engaged
to a... a guy?"
"Well, she is a girl, of course," Shinobu Miyake, standing
next to Daisuke, said.
"Ignore me at your peril!" Ryoga yelled.
Ranma clobbered Ryoga on the head, and the wandering
boy collapsed to the grass. "Ryoga, stay out of this!" she said.
"Look, Ukyo, I can explain everything in private...."
Ukyo's eyes narrowed. "Ranchan," she said, "when you
didn't honor our engagement, I...."
"Engagement?" Ranma said. "What's all this talk about an
engagement?"
"Don't pretend you don't remember," Ukyo growled.
"Remember what?"
"Our engagement, you moron!"
"Now, hold on just a second!" Ranma said. "Why would I
be engaged to some guy?"
In the crowd, Hitoshi said, "because you're a girl?"
"Oh," Ranma said, glancing down at herself. "Oh, yeah,
that's right. A girl...."
"And why is your hair red?" Ukyo continued. "It used to
be black."
"People dye their hair all the time," Ranma said.
"Anyway, what's the big idea of you stealing my underwear? I
never knew you were such a pervert, Ukyo."
"Never mind that!" Ukyo said hotly. "You're one to talk,
Ranma! Engaged to two people at once...."
"What's this engagement you keep talking about?"
"We were engaged by our fathers," Ukyo said, "when we
were young."
"Impossible," Ranma countered. "My pop might be a
good-for-nothing idiot, but he would never do anything so sick
and perverted!"
"What," Daisuke said, "engage his daughter to someone's
son?"
"Does that seem perverted to you?" Hiroshi asked.
"If you ask me," Shinobu said, "I'd be really happy to be
engaged to someone as good looking as Ukyo-sama."
Ranma frowned. "You don't understand. Look, how can I
put this? Let's just say that when I was young, my father
considered me his son."
"Really?" Shinobu said. "Do you mean he made you
dress and act like a boy?"
"Essentially, yes."
"How awful for you!"
By this point Ukyo was looking really confused.
"Ranma? You're really a girl?"
"It... um... looks that way...."
Ukyo ground her teeth. "That's impossible!" she said.
"Let's just see what you've got under that top of yours...."
Ukyo swung her massive spatula about, ripping Ranma's
top open.
Ukyo blinked and stared at Ranma's exposed breasts.
Several girls in the crowd screamed, "Pervert!" at the top
of their lungs.
"Ranma?" Ukyo asked, doubt in her voice for the first
time. "Those aren't... those aren't real... are they?"
"What do you think?" Ranma said, covering her breasts.
"Of course they're real!"
Ukyo stared in stunned silence for a moment, then reached
out to squeeze one experimentally.
"Hey!" Ranma yelled, slapping Ukyo's hand away. "Keep
your hands to yourself!"
There were several screams from the crowd, including
cries of "Hentai!" "Etchi!" and "Pervert!" from the girls, and
"Alright! Go Ukyo!" from some of the guys.
Ukyo stared in disbelief. "But I thought... but you
weren't...." her voice trailed off, and she fell to her knees,
stunned.
Tenchi stepped forward and offered his shirt to Ranma,
who was still struggling to cover her breasts. She accepted it
gratefully.
"Tenchi!" Hiroshi cried out. "How could you?"
"Is there going to be a fight?" Daisuke asked. "I thought
something was going to happen."
"This is important!" Shinobu said. "This is about love!"
Ryoga sprung to his feet.
"Ukyo!" he growled. "You've got some nerve! First you
walk out on a man to man fight, then you try to strip my
fiancee naked before the whole school...."
"Ryoga," Ranma said, "please butt out."
"What are you blubbering about?" Ukyo asked, springing
to her feet. "I've never done anything to you!"
"You've forgotten our fight already?" Ryoga exclaimed.
"You ran out on a man-to-man duel! At least Ranma here had
the honor to fight me, fair and square, and she's a girl!"
Ukyo glanced at her female fiancee. "Care to explain that
one, Ranma?"
Ranma shrugged. "We had some sort of argument. I
think it was about bread, or something. Ryoga wanted to fight,
so we did. Took him four days to show up, too. I beat him,
and then apologized for the bread thing, and that was it."
Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "Now that you mention it," she
said, "I think I remember something about some silly duel...."
"Ukyo, you enemy of women!" Ryoga yelled. "Prepare to
die!"
"Wait!" Ukyo yelled, but Ryoga had already launched
himself at her. She flipped backwards, narrowly avoiding his
fist, which pounded into the ground where she'd stood.
Instantly there was a depression five feet wide and half a foot
deep.
"What are you, nuts?" Ukyo said. "You're going to hurt
someone!"
"Shut up, coward!" Ryoga fired back. "Because of you,
I've seen hell!"
"All right!" Daisuke exclaimed. "There really is going to
be a fight!"
Ukyo drew her battle spatula and held it at the ready.
Ryoga pulled the bandana from his hair... several times. He
began to spin them about in his hands.
Ranma brought an iron pot down on Ryoga's head, and the
boy collapsed again.
"Ranma!" Hitoshi said, "is that any way to treat your
fiancee?"
"Ah man," Daisuke said, "and I thought we were finally
going to see a fight!"
"Ranma," Ukyo said, "is Ryoga really your fiancee? This
is all so confusing...."
"What about you?" Shinobu asked. "Ranma's not the only
one with two fiancees! Or have you forgotten poor Akane,
here?"
"Shinobu!" Akane whispered fiercely, "stay out of this!"
Ukyo looked Akane up and down. "Akane?" she asked.
"Have we met before?"
"That's a horrid way to treat your fiancee!" Shinobu
exclaimed.
"Oh, this is pointless!" Ranma said. She grabbed Ukyo's
arm. "Come on, Ukyo. We gotta find someplace private to
talk...."
And with one leap, Ranma and Ukyo shot straight up, and
vanished into the night.
***
Yohko had a plethora of questions to ask her so-called
friend Ranma Saotome, but at the moment her yoma ring was
flashing like a Christmas tree on overload. Yohko had learned
to never ignore the ring.
It was dark. Yohko crept forward carefully, like an angel
stepping through the gates of hell. She held an iron garden
rake before her like a holy sword. Matsukata Hall was on her
right, and she moved north, leaving the fracas with Ryoko and
the crowd it was attracting behind.
She sensed the demon somewhere up ahead, lying in wait
for her like a stalker in a downtown alley....
A shadowy figure rose up before her. Yohko screamed
and swung her rake. There was a loud THUNK.
"Ow," the shadowy figure said, before it collapsed into a
heap.
Yohko blinked. That hadn't sounded anything like a
demon. She ran forward, and knelt beside the person on the
ground.
It was a boy. His long hair fell down over his eyes,
almost completely covering them. Yohko thought that he was
kind of cute looking, apart from the girls' underwear on his
head.
He groaned, then opened his eyes. "What'd you do that
for?" he asked. Reaching up to feel the bump on his head, and
hand encountered silk and lace.
He quickly sat up. It was too dark to see, but Yohko
could swear that the strange boy was blushing.
"Yohko! They're not yours, I swear!" he blurted out.
Yohko wasn't sure how to take that, but she snatched the
panties from the boy's head. She peered at them closely in the
gloom.
"These are mine," she growled. "Who are you? Why do
you know my name?"
"I... I..." the boy stuttered. He snatched the underwear
back, scrambled backwards, got to his feet and ran off into the
darkness.
Yohko frowned. Despite the darkness, she was fairly
certain she'd recognize the boy at a later date. For now, she
had other concerns.
Twenty feet further, at the base of the old Matsukata
statue, Yohko found two more bodies on the ground. They
were both small, like toddlers really, if toddlers could look 150
years old. One was the janitor of Matsukata Hall, and the other
was the Chinese teacher who served as the martial art's club
advisor. Yohko remembered them both from earlier in the day.
They looked as if they'd been on the losing side of a battle
with a steamroller. Although not dead, they were both out
cold.
Somewhere off in the darkness, a voice yelled out
"Darling!" There was a brilliant flash of light, a painful
scream, and the crackle of electricity.
From nearby Yohko heard a deep, rolling laughter. It was
not the sort of laugher a human throat could make.
"Devil Hunter," the echoing voice said. "Shrine violator!
Breaker of seals! Opener of the gate of gates! You have
disturbed my sleep and let loose the demons of the past! Did
you think the gate was unguarded? Did you think you could do
this and I would not know?"
"What seal?" Yohko said. "What gate? I don't know what
you're talking about!" She peered into the darkness, trying to
make out the demon.
And Mr. Matsukata, eight feet tall and made of solid
stone, stepped from the base upon which he'd stood motionless
for one hundred years.
***
"Tell me, Chief Ido, have you ever heard of Silent
Mobius?"
Gendo Ikari, President of Muyami Academy, sat back in
his high-backed leather chair and sipped his tea thoughtfully.
He stared out at the school campus below them. His specially
designed floor to ceiling picture window allowed for night
vision, and he was able to clearly see a group of students
gathered on the lawn between the two large dormitories.
Across the table from him, Daisuke Ido, the local Chief of
Police, shifted in his seat.
"No, I can't say that I have," Ido said.
Principal Ikari pulled a book from a nearby shelf and
tossed it onto his desk. Ido picked it up and looked it over.
"It's a manga story by Kia Asamiya," the Principal said.
"Yes, I can see that," Ido replied. He set the book back on
the desk. "I'm not much of a fan of comics, Mr. Ikari."
"No? A pity, then," Principal Ikari said. "This one, in
particular, has some fascinating ideas in it."
Chief Ido raised an eyebrow.
"Involving demons, I assume?"
"Yes. Entities from another dimension, to be precise. The
story is set in a future Tokyo that suffers from frequent attacks
by such entities. Interesting, isn't it?"
"Interesting reading for schoolchildren, I suppose," Chief
Ido said.
Principal Ikari did not smile. Principal Ikari never smiled.
But he did set his cup down and begin to steeple his hands.
"What I find most interesting," Gendo Ikari said, "is the
organization that is formed to help deal with these entities.
They call it the 'Abnormal Mystery Police' department, or
AMP. A silly name, but... the idea of forming a strike force
designed to counter or contain demonic manifestations... that
part I find quite intriguing."
Chief Ido snorted. "It sounds like a variation of that
American show... the X Files."
"Indeed," the Principal said. "There are many shows with
the same theme... Blue Seed, Ghost Sweeper Mikami, Phantom
Quest Corps... all leading back to the movie Ghostbusters, I
suspect, and even further back to the long legacy of mystery
novels. Of course, Silent Mobius and the X Files are much
different from Sherlock Holmes and Nancy Drew."
"But surely these are just cartoons and stories?" Chief Ido
said. "You can hardly take them seriously...."
"As I warned you," Principal Ikari said, "I take everything
seriously."
***
The boys had been driven from Matsukata Hall. Even
Ataru had run into his arch nemesis -- an enraged Lum -- and
was now being chased across the campus, no longer a threat to
the girls in the dorm.
"Well," Belldandy said, closing the door and locking it,
"that certainly was an unusual diversion! Now, perhaps we can
get back to our meal...."
"Belldandy?" Keichi asked. He was staring out the
window into the night.
"Yes?"
"Isn't that Mr. Matsukata moving across the lawn?"
Belldandy blinked in confusion. "Mr. Matsukata?" she
repeated. She moved to the window and looked out. "Oh my,
it really is him!" she said. "I wonder what he wants?"
***
Yohko dodged and narrowly avoided being crushed by a
book.
Mr. Matsukata's movements seemed ponderous and slow,
but that was an illusion. As he swung the heavy book back
around, it was all Yohko could do to avoid it a second time.
Normally a book -- even a thick Bible such as Mr.
Matsukata wielded -- would not have made a good weapon.
However, this book happened to be two feet tall and made of
solid stone. Yohko was glad that Mr. Matsukata had been a
priest, rather than a general with a huge stone sword; as it was,
she was worried that the Mr. Matsukata might throw the book
at her.
Yohko somersaulted backwards across the lawn, landing
near the entrance to Sakagawa Hall. This gave her enough
space to begin her transformation.
"For those who use a holy man's image to spread evil and
hatred," she intoned, "I shall have no mercy! I fight with the
power of love, and I will banish you from this place and send
you to where you belong! Yohko Mano, the 108th generation
Mamano Hunter, stands before you!"
Yohko spun about in the air, going through her
transformation sequence. Her clothes shredded and flew from
her body, and for a brief moment she was naked, before her
devil hunter's outfit formed around her. Many of the boys on
campus would have killed to witness this, but they were all
busy further South, watching several fights almost, but not
quite, break out.
Step by ponderous step, Mr. Matsukata lumbered across
the lawn towards her.
Yohko landed on her feet, her soulsword in hand. She
immediately charged, swinging her weapon at the statue. It
was far too slow to react, and the glowing blade in Yohko's
hands slammed hard into the statue's side.
And bounced off.
Yohko felt the impact all along her arms. She dodged
back, narrowly avoiding a Bible-thumping, and then thrust
forward.
Again, it was like swinging a metal bat at a steel pole.
Her wrists and arms ached from the collision of sword on
stone. She heard something clatter on the sidewalk, and was
certain she must have chipped the statue at the very least, but it
was clear that her soulsword, so very deadly against most
demons, would prove useless in this fight.
She continued to dodge the swinging book, thinking
furiously. How in the world could she defeat a possessed
statue? If only she had a piledriver!
***
Belldandy stood in the shadows of Matsukata Hall,
watching Yohko bravely battle Mr. Matsukata himself. Beside
her stood Keichi, Madoka, and Kyosuke.
"Oh, Mr. Matsukata!" Belldandy exclaimed. "You really
shouldn't be doing this!"
"Uh... Belldandy?" Keichi asked.
Madoka glanced at Kyosuke. Kyosuke frowned, then
nodded. He turned back to stare at the animated statue.
"The statue is possessed," Belldandy said with a sigh.
Kyosuke glanced back at her, startled.
"It feels more like a guardian spirit than a demonic
presence," Belldandy continued, "but it burns with a fierce
anger. It still means great harm to Yohko, and to anyone near
her."
Kyosuke blinked. "How do you know that?" he asked.
Belldandy didn't answer. Instead, she said, "Her sword is
useless against stone." Then she held her hands out and turned
her face towards the night sky.
"Oh spirits of stone and earth," she called out, in a
beautiful lilting voice. "Heed my voice and gather. Oh spirits
that dwell in the rock below, lend to us your strength, and grant
us a champion that may stand against this stone enemy!"
As she spoke, the air about Belldandy began to glow. She
floated a foot into the air, and a beam of light shot out of the
night sky to touch her forehead. Then, with a thunderous clap,
the light was gone, and Belldandy's feet were again firmly
planted on the earth.
Madoka and Kyosuke exchanged amazed glanced.
Across the lawn, near the entrance to Sakagawa Hall,
something in the shadows stirred, and then Mr. Sakagawa, his
own Bible clutched tightly in his hands, stepped out into the
moonlight.
***
Miko!
Ranma sighed. Her whole life she'd planned on becoming a martial arts
Sensei. It had seemed like such a noble calling. She just hadn't
realized how much it resembled babysitting.
"It's a joke," Ranma said, sitting up. "All I meant was, what hit me?"
"Um... I did, Sensei."
Ah, thought Ranma. It begins to make some sense...
"Hmm? Nice try, Tamakaji, but we both know you can't lay a finger on me.
I may not remember what happened, but for you to get through my
defenses...."
"But I did, Sensei. You were distracted."
"A martial artist is never distracted, Tamakaji. Remember that."
"As you say, Sensei."
"Good. Next question. Why am I a girl?"
"Your niece threw water on you," the student said.
"Ah. This would be just before you didn't hit me when I wasn't
distracted?"
"Hai!"
Ranma put her hand to her head. "It's all coming back to me now. We were
all celebrating the opening of the new dojo, and the dormitory on the
third floor. All my family was here -- mom, pop, Kasumi and Tofu-Sensei,
even Nabiki. We were giving a short demonstration in the dojo, after
showing off your award for first-place in the all-Tokyo competition..."
Ranma stopped, glancing up at her student. "I didn't just dream that
part, did I? You really won, didn't you?"
"Hai, Sensei! Just last Saturday!" Kazayuki produced the blue ribbon and
beamed with pride. "You said I was the luckiest S.O.B. you ever saw!"
(Seven Fianc�es)
Nausicaa@sprynet.com Belldandy@angelic.com
Fan Fiction at http://members.xoom.com/bellchan/ranfan.html
Simple browser-friendly version at
http://members.xoom.com/bellchan/ranbasic.html