Boot it up OR Ranma learns to use a computer... Kinda
By TydRipper

Hey folks... Truthfully, I did not just write this. This has been written and has been archived on my web page for just about a year now. In fact, it is quite literally the FIRST fic I've ever written. You'll find that it shows in several areas. ^_^

Just a warning beforehand. All of the characters are insanely OOC. ^_^


<Scene opens, Ranma is kneeling in front of a computer>

Ranma: Why do _I_ hafta learn how to use this thing?

Nabiki: Its a good investment. Might make us some money.

Ranma: But why do _I_ hafta learn how?

Nabiki: <shrugs> Might save some damage to the Dojo. I've got a few games
on it.

Ranma: <Sigh> Okay, how do I start it?

Nabiki: Just boot it up.

Ranma: Like this? <kicks computer tower>

Nabiki: NO! The button on the tower, round, right in the center. (Maybe
this wasn't such a good idea)

Ranma: OH.. Here we go. Nothings on the screen.

Nabiki: Its a monitor, you have to turn it on too.

Ranma: Oh. This button here?

Nabiki: No, thats the reset button. Turn the monitor on with the button
thats _ON THE MONITOR_.

Ranma: Oh. Here we go...... Ahh.. Theres something. It's counting up.

Nabiki: That would be the memory test.

Ranma: You mean I hafta remember these numbers? Man, I'm no good at math!

Nabiki:No! The computer is testing itself.

Ranma: Oh. Why, doesn't it have a very good memory?

Nabiki: <sigh> For its price, it better have.

Ranma: Wait.. something else.. Whoa! A Picture. Loading Windows 98.. Theres
a buncha shades of blue going across the bottom of the scr.. err.. monitor.

Nabiki: Don't worry. its fine.

Ranma: Hey, here we go. Theres a picture of a big cat or something in the
background, and a buncha little things are showing up.

Nabiki: ITs a mountain lion, and those are icons.

Ranma. Its stopped. ISn't it supposed to do something?

Nabiki: See that little thing by your right hand?

Ranma: <picks up mousepad> This?

Nabiki: No, the thing on top of it.

Ranma: Oh. Ya? What about it.

Nabiki: Move it around.

Ranma: <moving mouse around> Hey, its making that little arrow move!

Nabiki: good for you.

Ranma: Now what?

Nabiki: <sigh> click on something.

Ranma: Like what?

Nabiki: Anything. There. Try Email.

Ranma: <Clicks on Email>..... Now what?

Nabiki: Double-click.

Ranma: <Clicks again>.. And?

Nabiki: Do it again, but as fast as you can.

Ranma: KACHUU TENSHIN AMIGURIKEN DOUBLE-CLICK! <Double clicks>... And?

Nabiki: Too fast........

Ranma: <double-clicks> Ahh.. okay, here we go. now what?

Nabiki: Click on 'Read Mail'

Ranma: <Double-clicks>

Nabiki: You only have to click once.

Ranma: Make up yer damn mind! Besides, it worked didn't it? Anyways, whats
all this. Found 56 new messages? Nabiki? How many people do you know?

Nabiki: It's the FFML, They've got tonnes of messages. Mostly spam
unfortunately.

Ranma: Spam? Uhh.. How does canned meat get on the computer?

Nabiki: NO! Spam as in.. ahh, forget it.

Ranma: What is the FFML Anyway?

Nabiki: I don't know really. I just joined for the hell of it. Theres this
one story that seems pretty popular though, its about this guy, who has
like, three fiances, and is like, half-girl.

Ranma: Really? Boy would I hate to be in his shoes. Its a good thing
nothing like that happens in real life.

Nabiki: Indeed.

Ukyo: Ranma Honey! I'm here to take you out!

Shampoo: No! Ranma take Shampoo on date!

Akane: RANMA!!!!!

Ranma: Anyways, what else is here?

Nabiki: Try the web.

Ranma: Okay.. Let me guess.. uhh.. 'The Internet'?

Nabiki:Your learning already.

Ranma: <single clicks> ARG! <double-clicks> ahh.. much better.

Nabiki: This is yahoo, just type in what you want to find out about
in there, and it'll show you.

Ranma: <Types in 'anything goes'>... Hey, heres something. Felicia's
house of anything goes. Should I click on it?

Nabiki: Sure. <smirks waiting for a reaction>

Ranma: Uhh.. Nabiki...

Nabiki: Yes?

Ranma: This is.. uhh..

<Akane walks in the room & sees what Ranma is looking at.>

Akane: RANNNMMMMAAAA!! YOU PERVERT!!!!!

Ryoga: Ranma, What have you done to Akane no---- uhh.. <spurts nosebleed>

Ranma: <covering monitor> I didn't mean it, I mean I thought it was
something else!

Akane: Ya right! <Smacks him into the ground with a table, walks away>

<Ryoga faints from loss of blood>

Ranma: <closes web browser> Well, that was great. Anything else you
wanna warn me?

Nabiki: Nope, here.. Try IRC.

Ranma: IRC?

Nabiki: Internet Relay Chat. Click on the icon with all the colours.

Ranma: <clicks> Okay.. Preferred nickname?

Nabiki: Pick a nickname, probably not your real name.

Ranma: Okay.. <Types in MachoMan>... Hmm.. its says 'nick taken'...

Nabiki: Try something nobody else would think of.

Ranma: Okay. <Types in Ranchan>.. There.. access granted.. now what?

Nabiki: Type /join, and the channel of your choice.

Ranma: Channel?

Nabiki: Yes, like #money for instance, might I suggest #anythinggoes?

Ranma: Not after what happened before.

Nabiki: Well, why not try #Kenpo?

Ranma: <Types in /join #kenpo> Hey.. there are a buncha names here.

Nabiki: Yes, you can chat with them.

Ranma: Wait, they're saying something.

<Kenbot> Welcome to #kenpo, Ranchan.

Ranma: So I just reply?

Nabiki: Yup, but--

Ranma: <Already typing>

<Ranchan> Thanks.
<Ranchan> So, I'm guessing people in here practice Kenpo?
<Skidmark> Of course, none of us sit on our asses and type all
day long.
<MrFist> Give him a break. He talks to the bot, so hes quite
obivously a newbie.
<Ranchan> Who you calling a newbie??!
<MrFist> Relax, its just what they call people new to the net.
<Skidmark> HAHA
<Ranchan> Oh.
<Skidmark> HAHAHAH! U R SUCH A LAMER!
<Ranchan> GRRRR..YOU WANNA FIGHT? I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!
<Skidmark> Oh, ya.. Whatcha gonna do, lamer? Beat me up?
<Ranchan> DAMN STRAIGHT!
<Skidmark> Two problems.. One is that you have no idea where I am,
and the other is that... YOUR A LAMER!!! AHAHAH!!!
<Ranchan> Really? Coward.
<Skidmark> Haha. Lamer wants to fight.. HAHA.. Coward?
<Ranchan> Thats right. Coward.
<Skidmark> I could kick your ass any day of the week.
<Ranchan> Fine, then meet me at Jusenkyo. I've gotta go there anyways.
<MrFist> Waitasec. You've been to Jusenkyo?
<Ranchan> Yeah. Why?
<Skidmark> Where the hell is that?
<MrFist> Are you from Nerima by any chance?
<Ranchan> Yeah. How'd you know?
<Skidmark> NERIMA?!?! That's where I am!
<MrFist> I should have guessed earlier. Ranma?
<Ranchan> Who is this?
<Skidmark> So, the cur Saotome hath learned the ways of the electronic
world. Your sorcery will be avenged, Saotome!
<MrFist> KUNO?!?!
<Ranchan> Kuno?!?!
Skidmark is now known as BlueThndr
<BlueThndr> Yes. It is I.
<Ranchan> So, who are you then?
<MrFist> Think duck.
<Ranchan> Mousse?! What the?!? How do you know about the internet?
<MrFist> Well, It'll still be a couple years before the electric company
spreads to the village, so while I'm here in Nerima, I'm learning a few
things.
<BlueThndr> How dare you Saotome, placing thyself in an unknown guise.
Probably to protect your fragile self from my might.
<MrFist> Shut up, Kuno.
<Ranchan> Shut up Kuno!
<MrFist> Beat ya!
<Ranchan> OH well. I've had enough. I'm going.

Ranma: Boy Kuno has a mouth on him. Strange how people change on the
Internet.

Kasumi: Oh, Ranma. Are you done?

Ranma: Ya, sure. Why, you need the computer?

Kasumi: Yes, I need to check out my recipe web page.

Ranma: Here ya go. <Gets up>

<Kasumi sits down and loads up the web browser.>

<Ranma leaves, thinking of the way Kuno acted on the Internet>

<Kasumi, after Ranma leaves, shuts down the web browser & loads up the
IRC program.>

/nick WhipGirl
/join #b&dsex #Whips&chains #s&mlove

<Kasumi grins and begins to greet her Internet friends.>

<The End>

This now gives me an excuse to give an update...

I haven't been able to get much writing done recently. I've lost my computer, but I'm still able to do some email stuff every now and then.

Divinity: The next chapter... truthfully... hasn't even been started yet. I've got the outline in my head, and you can probably expect it sometime within the next month or so.

Trials of Destiny: I've got more than half of Chapter 12 written, BUT... It's on the hard drive of my computer, which is kind of unaccessable at the moment, as it's lying in a heap on the floor at the moment. When I get around to getting my stuff off of the hard drive, I'll continue it. Expect this one sooner.

Converging Fates: Yes, I'm still doing this. Chapter Four is coming along nicely and should be released sometime before Spring. ^_^

A Life Once Lived: News for those of you who actually enjoyed this one... The final chapter is coming... soon... Be prepared for the finale. ^_^

After the Omega: My sole Eva fic... Is on hold. Until I figure whether or not I want to drop the project, that is. ^_^

Another Fic: I've noticed the supreme absence of Kimagure Orange Road fics out there... Being a new KOR fan, I'm thinking about starting one up myself. Whether it will be based on the original series or ShinKOR, I've yet to decide... I've also been pondering a well-thought out Ranma/KOR x-over... Ya never know. ^_^

Anyhoo, that's it from Tydi-land... ttyl!