Scenes From An Elevator:
An Idiotic Utena Spamfic
By: Dreiser
EPISODE TWENTY: Tweety Tweet Tweet.
SCENE: A nondescript broken elevator at Ohtori Academy
where the shadow of no one is seen inside. Some birds fly inside
of it and begin making a nest. The Sunlit Garden no longer plays
faintly in the background.
BIRDS: Tweety, tweet, tweet.
AUTHOR: (Sweatdrops.) Hey, it's an empty elevator. What could
I really write happening in here anyway?
SCENE: The ground by Ohtori Academy's main building.
A crowd of people stare at the anvil flattened remains of Akira the
Janitor in certain shock. The Sunlit Garden no longer plays faintly
in the background.
TOUGA: (Wails.) Akira the Janitor! NOOOO!!!! With you gone
who will clean out the bathrooms?!
JURI: (Droll tones.) What bathrooms? Ohtori doesn't have any
bathrooms. Don't you remember that, Touga?
TOUGA: (Pauses to think.) Oh yeah. I forgot.
SAIONJI: (Puzzles.) What did Akira the Janitor do around the
campus anyway?
TOUGA: (Mulls.) I'm not actually sure... he's been on a leave of
absence so long that it's really hard to tell.
(The whole group considers this.)
ANTHY: (Offers.) Well, at least this makes his death not nearly as
tragic as we originally thought.
TOUGA: (Nods solemnly.) True. If he doesn't perform any useful
tasks for us then truly he won't be missed. In fact, this makes him
even more insignificant.
JURI: (Dryly.) Nice, Touga. Very nice.
TOUGA: (Shrugs.) What? I'm only being honest.
SCENE: The rooftop of Ohtori Academy's main building. Mikage
Souji and Chida Mamiya are backing slowly away from Takatsuki
Shiori who wears a very angry look on her rather evil features. The
air smells heavily of CK1. The Sunlit Garden no longer plays
faintly in the background.
SHIORI: (Growls.) You failed totally! They're not rioting and it's
past midnight! The new year has arrived and not only is Ohtori not
in chaos but my Master's vile former boyfriend hasn't been
punished in the least!
MIKAGE: (Wary smile.) Well, then. I guess you better go and
apologize to him, shouldn't you? I mean, he's going to start missing
you if you don't show up soon.
SHIORI: (Scowls.) You're right. But I'll be back! To get you and
your little bishonen boyfriend too! I'll somehow make your
phantasm figment lives into a living hell!
(Shiori disappears in a black cloud that smells of CK1. Mikage
and Mamiya cough as they wave the smoke clouds away from
their faces.)
MAMIYA: (Looks at Mikage.) I think that she took our failure
pretty well, don't you?
MIKAGE: (Sweatdrops.) If you say so, honey.
SCENE: Some wall in Ohtori Academy during an unusually timely
and frequent sunset. The figures of no one are seen. More birds fly
down and start about even more nests in front of the wall. The
Sunlit Garden no longer plays faintly in the background.
BIRDS: Tweety, tweet, tweet!
AUTHOR: (Sweatdrops.) What? They're all standing in front of
the main building. Did you really expect a creepy moral from the
Shadow Play Girls now?
(As the birds continue to tweet the scene fades to black.)
To be continued...
All characters in this spamfiction are from Utena. This is a
nonsensical out of character piece of tripe that I wrote when
extremely bored. I'll continue to write this series when I'm
extremely bored because sometimes I just feel like being silly. In
other words don't take this stinky poo seriously. It's just for fun.
Send comments to: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com
The not so thrilling trailer line: What will happen next time?! Will
Touga still not be trapped in the elevator?! Can the birds keep
successfully making their nests?! And will Shiori get her evil
revenge on the phantasm figments of Mikage and Mamiya?! Stay
tuned!
Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780
Thanks to Red Death all my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm
For SFAE in text and other spiffy Utena fanfics go to:
http://www.duellists.tj/~utena/index2.html
To hear the excellent SFAE radio production go to:
http://michiru.com/atlantis/
A RANDOM QUOTE AND ANALYZATION:
"Pika pi!"
-Pikachu; Pokemon-
JURI: (Groans loudly.) Now she's really gone too far.
TOUGA: (Mulls over this.) Pika pi... yes... I can understand
exactly what he's saying. The world truly is being destroyed by it's
own selfish greed. We need to unlearn what we have learned just
like Yoda said.
JURI: (Stares at Touga.) You really are a freak.
TOUGA: (Sniffs.) Juri-san, I'm mildly insulted.
JURI: (Groans again.) I give up.