No, I hadn't forgotten about it-- it was just laying fallow for
a while, until I thought of what I wanted to change. I think it's
abit better now, and that I'm ready to go onto the next part (where
more things will diverge).
El Hazard is brought over to North America by Pioneer. Ranma 1/2 is
done so by Viz. I have absolutely no rights to either. This is, I
must admit, a non-profit production, if you please.
The Hazards of Being Ranma
It was another normal day in Nerima, shining sun and a good
chance of rain (approaching 100%, in fact) later in the day. Ranma
had already been sent into LEO by Akane for not eating her cooking,
and all that stuff.
Fortunately, the above statement is untrue on every conceivable
level, and most likely on many levels that are not conceivable as
well. The morning was somewhat hazy from last night's rain turning
into fog, although it did promise to be a sunny day afterwards. The
day would also be considered abnormal by many, including the
general populace of Furinkan High. Why? Well, just listen to a
conversation of some of the students:
"Who would've thought that there was some ancient ruins beneath
Furinkan, eh Hiroshi?" Daisuke asked, standing over the hole in the
ground which apparently led to said ruins.
"Yeah, I heard Kuno found 'em; I'm not sure if I can believe
that one."
"I heard Ranma pounded Kuno, and Kuno went through the floor
and into the ruins."
"I can believe that."
The two friends nodded and walked away.
***
The sun was going down, the moon out, and the beautiful sunset
at Furinkan high school marred only by a group of students... and a
few of their friends (although I use the term loosely-- friends,
that is, although now that I think of it, the term student is
rather questionable as well).
Ranma was busily running, not for some training, but because he
did not want Kodachi to catch him, who did her usual ribbon and
leotard thing (it's a fashion statement-- not necessarily a good
fashion statement, but a fashion statement nonetheless). Kodachi
was not the only one after Ranma, we also had the three stooges,
Larry, Curly and Mo-- wrong set of stooges. Sorry, I meant to say
that we had Ryouga, Mousse, and Tatewaki also gunning for Ranma
(not literally, of course. They might use weapons, but not guns).
They followed shortly behind Kodachi. Tatewaki had the the whole
"release Akane and the pig-tailed girl from your grasp" schtick
going on, so I needn't bother telling you what he was doing, and
Mousse found a new gimmick weapon to try out. Ryouga wasn't really
intending to attack Ranma or anything, he was trying to find
directions, but got caught up in the excitement of it all.
There was another trio who were there, but not, strangely
enough, chasing Ranma. Ukyou, Shampoo and Akane were also at the
school. Akane, who was in the library doing some studying (a how-to
book for cooking, I believe), was oblivious to what was going on
with Ranma (who was originally waiting for Akane to finish when
accosted by the others). Ukyou and Shampoo were in the midst of a
staring match (a martial arts one, of course) that had been going
on for about two hours now. By now their eyes were quite probably
too dry to allow them to blink, so it would be a good bet that the
match would be going on for a much longer time.
Not a usual day, exactly, but nothing that was surprising in
any way so far, either. What was surprising was something that did
not happen, even though it did.
It did not happen, because for something to happen, time must
have passed, and yet what it was that (did and did not) occur was
that time stopped. Most people would, of course, not notice time
stopping because, well, how could they, being trapped in the frozen
time? Ranma, for some reason, was an exception. He did not notice
at first, and kept on running away from the crowd behind him.
Gradually, Ranma did notice. He noticed that he was no longer
being followed. He noticed the absolute quiet and stillness that
never permeated the Tokyo air. Going back and looking for the
others, he found them in mid-stride, frozen solid. Ranma shrugged,
it was not his fault and if it got them off of his back then so
much the better.
As he walked away, Ranma heard something; it could have been
the wind, except there was none. It could be someone's voice,
except there was no one around to call him. Whatever it was, it
wanted him to go to the ruins. Ranma shrugged, without the losers
after him, he could take the time and do a little exploring. Who
knows? There might even be some cool training scrolls there or
something.
***
The artwork in the ruins had an interesting motif. Large,
unblinking eyes, often engulfed by geometric (sometimes simple,
sometimes complex) shapes and patterns. One such pattern was on the
floor where Ranma walked.
Strands of liquid light shot up from the floor in a circular
pattern as Ranma stood in the centre of the diagram on the floor.
The light clung to him, sticking to his arms like strands of a
spider's web as he tried to get out.
A grinding of gears, a hissing of pneumatics or hydraulics, and
a sarcophagus in front of Ranma opened. A woman stood inside it,
seemingly asleep. She grasped a polearm of some sort with one hand;
some sort of axe-blade was affixed to the end of it, although the
edge of the blade was think and dull, not to mention the circuitry
that seemed to be showing in parts. The haft of the weapon was also
unusual, having a corkscrew-like design along the end third of its
length.
The woman with her pale, pale hair and similar complexion
opened her eyes, her sad, sad eyes which as soon as they focused on
Ranma broke out into rapturous joy. Her clothes were finely made,
though somewhat tattered from age. The pale blue stockings ended
around her ankles in small tears. A veil was pulled back, revealing
her heart-shaped face. Stern black coat with tails and silver trim
was open in the front, showing her shirt and a generous amount of
cleavage of which even Shampoo could be envious of.
The woman staggered forward, and caught herself on Ranma,
wrapping her arms around his neck. She looked up to him and said,
voice full of longing and joy, "Ranma? Is it really you? I have
waited millennia for you."
"Do I know you?" Ranma whispered. "Am I engaged to you?" he
uttered his worst fear.
"Don't you recognise me? I have carried memory of you in my
heart for ten thousand years." The woman slumped further into
Ranma. "Time is short, and my powers have weakened with the passage
of time. I must send you now to El Hazard."
The woman closed her eyes and Ranma could feel her begin to
build power. "Go now. I know you will not fail, Ranma."
Time started again, minus a certain few teenagers who were near
or at Furinkan High.
***
Ranma awoke, somewhat predictably, female and in a pool of
water. The pool, small, was in a glade, also small, surrounded by
dense and alien foliage. Ranma could almost hear a faint thrumming,
more memory than experience-- a ghost sound, ephemeral and unreal.
The thrumming was quickly replaced by the infinitely more real and
immediate sound of a rustling bush behind Ranma.
Ryouga appeared from the rustling bush, bearing two stone
tablets with ten commandme-- scratch that. He emerged from the
bushes mad, accidentally imitating a charging boar he once stopped
before on his was to Ranma and Furinkan. Ryouga managed to stop
himself millimeters away from plunging into the pool, hovering on
the edge of the water for an interminable period of time.
"Hey, P-chan. Whatcha doin'?" asked Ranma, a mocking laugh just
barely concealed in his voice.
Before Ryouga could reply they both heard a piercing female
scream. Their rivalry momentarily forgotten, the two young men
rushed towards the sound with only one word on their lips and in
their thoughts. "Akane!"
The scream, however, did not emanate from Akane. Instead, they
found a voluptuous light blonde woman, dressed in what could only
be described as belly-dancer attire. Ryouga's nose exploded in
blood on sight. The woman was on the ground, seemingly unconscious.
Ranma looked over at Ryouga with a disgusted frown. Ranma
sighed and went to the woman to see if he could help. Some
insignificant sound, some strange smell, some sense of danger a
martial artist of Ranma's calibre gets warned Ranma. He looked up
and saw bugs. Not just any old bugs, mind you. Big ones, bigger
than anything insect or insectoid that had ever existed on Earth.
The bugs were faster and stronger than humans, and their
carapaces made them tougher as well. These insects knew this; very
likely the woman on the ground knew this as well-- unfortunately
for the bugs, they all neglected to tell Ranma this. Ryouga was, of
course, useless-- rendered so by a lack of consciousness due to
massive blood loss through the nose.
Ranma cut through the bugs like a scythe through stalks of
corn; piles of the unconscious creatures littered the ground. At
some unknown signal, the still conscious ones raised their antennae
and picked up their wounded, leaving the glade. Ryouga took this
moment to return to the wonderful world of wakefulness, just in
time to see the bugs leave.
"Nice of you to wake up now, pig," Ranma remarked in his usual
off-handed fashion, noting Ryouga's return. Ranma offered Ryouga a
hand to pull himself up-- a hand which was denied.
"Fatora, you're safe!"
Ranma turned around, to see the woman now awake and standing,
smiling and beaming with joy.
"What did you do with your hair, though? You had us so
worried!" She ran to Ranma, who became the recipient of a warm hug.
Ranma froze up, face in a mask of horror.
"Miss, you have the wrong person," Ryouga supplied, for some
unknown reason helping Ranma out of his (or in this case, her)
predicament.
The woman stood back and looked fitfully between Ranma and
Ryouga. "What do you mean?"
Ranma bowed. "I'm Ranma Saotome, sorry about this."
Other people, men, dressed straight out of some tale by
Shaherazade, came, hurrying into the glade behind the woman. The
tallest one, who wore a turban and a beard and was obviously the
leader of the men since the others seemed to be in some form of
uniform, just stared at Ranma. "Remarkable," he muttered to
himself.
"Well, you don't look like ya need our help anymore, ma'am, so
we'll just be going, I guess. We gotta get back to th' school and
find Akane an' 'em, right, Ryouga?"
"I don't think we're on Earth right now, Ranma," Ryouga quietly
replied.
"Nonsense! You must come with us! I will accept no other
response for the two warriors who saved our princess, Rune Venus.
You must come with us to the palace for a feast in your honour,"
said the man in the turban.
"This is Londs, our seneschal," Rune Venus introduced the
leader of the other men.
"Ranma Saotome," Ranma said and bowed deeply.
"Ryouga Hibiki," Ryouga announced and also bowed deeply.
"I s'pose we can stay a bit, eh, Ryouga? I mean, wouldn't be
p'lite, otherwise, right?" Ranma said.
"Of course, have to be polite," Ryouga absently responded,
trying hard not to look at Rune Venus in her rather revealing
attire-- looking to the sky instead in an effort to keep his blood
from escaping via his nose.
"Do you have any hot water?" Ranma asked off-handedly.
"On the ship, we can get you some there," Londs answered. "Why
do you require it?"
"You ain't gonna believe me unless ya see it," Ranma said with
a smirk.
Ranma was right-- they did not believe it when he returned to
his natural shape after pouring the hot water over himself.
"Remarkable!" Londs cried out.
"How... different. Is this normal for people to be able to do
that where you come from?" Rune Venus asked in a disconcerted, but
polite, tone.
"No, not at all," Ryouga said.
"Well, I dunno, actually. I mean, there's me, my dad, Shampoo,
Mousse, Pantyhose, Rouge (as Ashura), y--" Ranma said, only to be
cut off by Ryouga.
"All right! All right! So there's a lot of us that are cursed!
That's not what I meant and you know it, Ranma!" Ryouga shouted.
Turning to Rune Venus, Ryouga continued on in a calmer voice. "It's
a curse, you see. Cold water triggers it, hot water returns us back
to normal."
"Oh? What do you turn into?" asked Londs.
Ryouga mumbled a response.
"What was that? I did not hear," Londs said, politely.
"I'd rather not say, if you don't mind," Ryouga replied,
embarassed.
"Why not?" Rune Venus asked, somewhat oblivious or indifferent
to Ryouga's discomfort.
"It is... embarassing," Ryouga said after a moment of
reflection.
"Then we shall speak no more of it, if it discomforts you so,"
spoke Londs, magnanimously.
The rest of the trip to the palace occurred in relative
silence. The flying ship made its way gracefully towards the
capital, a series of towers and buildings capped with fanciful
domes and clinging foliage.
"Doctor Schtalubaugh might be able to help you. He knows many
things and heads the Royal Library. He might know of a way to get
you home," Londs told Ranma and Ryouga. They nodded eagerly.
Doctor Schtalubaugh turned out to be an old man with a long
beard and sagging face which spoke of a sober wisdom and patience.
Ryoga and Ranma were ushered into a room filled with shelves upon
shelves of books where the old man was, sitting at a table in the
center of the room flipping through one.
"So you say that this woman apparently sent you to El Hazard?"
the good doctor asked, a pile of opened books higher than he was at
one side.
Ranma nodded.
"I am sorry, but I do not know of this woman or what her
connection to El Hazard is. Such a power, not even the greatest of
the ancient demon-gods had the ability to transport people from one
dimension to another," Schtalubaugh apologised.
"So you're saying that...," Ranma said.
"I am saying that there is nothing in these books that could
help you return to your home, nor do I know of anything that could
help, myself."
Ranma and Ryouga slumped their heads in defeat.
"But perhaps we can find something if you stay. There might be
something or someone I can find who might know more." Schtalubaugh
hummed to himself, going through the possibilities.
***
Kodachi and her brother, Tatewaki, looked around. The foliage
was extremely odd-- somewhere between grotesque and beautiful in
its twisting gigantism. There was a strange rustling sound coming
from all around them-- the natives were obviously restless, but of
course no match for the Kuno siblings.
Tatewaki looked around. "I know not where we are, but this can
only be the work of that foul sorceror, Saotome! Curse you, fiend!"
he shouted, shaking his bokken at the sky.
Kodachi cuffed her brother on the back of his head. "You will
not talk that way about my Ranma! It is obviously the fault of one
or more of those wenches chasing after him! Oh! We must rescue him
from their clutches!" Kodachi nearly swooned; nearly, because her
brother would not appreciate the drama if she did, and she did not
want to fall into the dirt on the ground.
The aforementioned natives took this moment to come out into
the opening. Large, strong-looking bipedal instectoids of varying
shapes-- Bugrom. Kodachi sighed and unravelled her ribbon. No one
and nothing would keep her from her rightful place at Ranma's side.
Tatewaki noted the demon-spawned creatures and immediately went
into a battle-stance. "You shall not keep me from my destiny,
Saotome! Not you nor your minions!" he shouted.
The Bugrom stood there, then, after a moment, bowed.
***
Rune Venus stood in the open room, back to the door and looking
at a large frieze. Londs was there as well. Ranma, Ryouga and Dr.
Schtalubaugh came through the door.
The room itself was large and airy, with vaulting ceilings and
arches and pillars and domed, all in polished white marble that had
grey and black and gold veins running through it. Clinging vines,
green with leaves and gravid with large, heady blooms wrapped their
way around the pillars, along the balcony and the juncture where
the ceiling met the walls. The flora wrapped around and framed the
large picture the princess was looking at. A shining sun provided
the light, which was more than sufficient to brighten the room.
"You may wonder why I called you here," Rune Venus started off,
turning around to face Ranma and Ryouga. "I have an entirely
selfish favour to ask of you."
Ryouga noticed the image in the painting for the first time.
Two women there, dressed regally in long, flowing robes. One of
them was Rune Venus, and the other, somewhat smaller and younger
lookin was, "Hey Ranma, lookit that!" Ryouga pointed to the
painting, elbowing Ranma to get his attention. "Looks almost
exactly like your girl-form, except for the hair colour!"
Ranma noticed the painting. "Hey, yeah. Freaky, isn't it?"
Rune Venus coughed. "My sister, Fatora."
Ranma nodded. "I can see why you'd mistake me for your sister
then."
"Yes, well," the princess swept on, despite the interruption.
"My sister is missing. I was going to consult the seer when you
found and rescued me."
Ranma and Ryouga nodded.
Londs continued Venus' tale. "The alliance is a fractious
group, held together only by the threat of the Bugrom and the
Bugrom held only in check by the Eye of God," his eyes immediately
swept up and out to look at what first appeared to the two teenaged
martial artists as a moon, "which can only be used by two
princesses, of royal blood."
Rune Venus nodded. "If it were to get out that my sister is
missing, the chaos that resulted would bring ruin upon us."
"No problem," Ranma said easily. "We won't tell anyone she's
missing, right, Ryouga?" Ryouga nodded.
Londs frowned. Dr. Schtalubaugh did more than that, shouting
out a reply. "You idiot! Can't you see that she's asking you to
impersonate her sister until we can find Fatora? You're the only
one who can, Ranma!"
Ranma was taken aback by the sudden outburst of the good
doctor's. "Hey, ain't no way I'm gonna dress up an' pretend ta be
some princess, you got that?"
And so shortly after that, Ranma and Ryouga found themselves in
a deep, dark, dank cell.
"This is all your fault, Ranma!" Ryouga cried out. The echo in
the cell was very impressive-- very interesting accoustics.
***
Tatewaki and his sister Kodachi strode proudly through a large,
vaulting and organic looking hall. No absolute straight lines-- it
the building looked more grown than built. All openings, windows
high up and balconies and doorways seemed to have a hexagonal
design. The lighting was dim, and rather orange, making the dark
colours of the building material seem even darker. This made
absolutely no impact on the Kuno siblings, who were on a mission--
a mission of love.
The hallway ended, becoming a large, round, open arena-sized
throne room. At the very end of said throne room, there was a
crystalline couch, and someone or something lounging on it. Said
being stood up, revealing translucent wings and a black carapace,
covering certain parts of her anatomy-- it is uncertain as to
whether or not these are natural growths or clothing, though with
the high-heeled thigh-highs, it is assumed to be clothing.
"I am Diva, ruler of the Bugrom empire!" the now-standing being
announced proudly.
"I am Tatewaki Kuno, the undefeated Blue Thunder of Furinkan
High!" Tatewaki said just as proudly, and just as forcefully.
Kodachi laughed her laugh. Diva did not flinch in the
slightest. "And I," she said, "am Kodachi Kuno, the Black Rose of
St. Hebereke!"
Diva was suitably impressed. "Are you the ones prophesied to
lead us to glory and victory?"
Glory and victory? But the Kunos were on a mission for love. Of
course, glory and victory would undoubtably impress their loves,
and crush any opposition. "Yes!" they cried as one. "Yes, that is
us indeed! Glory and victory! We shall overcome our hated enemies!"
Tatewaki continued, "They shall scatter before our might! We
shall be like the waves of the sea, implacable and unresting!"
The cheering of the Bugrom resounded through the throne room
and throughout the palace.
***
Ranma was busy getting her hair dyed by some pretty but
essentially faceless female servants who were quietly chatting with
each other.
"It'll never work," one said to another.
"What made you decide to do it, Ranma?" Ryouga asked, then
smiled slyly as he continued on. "Feel like a makeover, do you?"
Londs, Schtalubaugh and Rune Venus were also in the room-- an
open, airy affair with grass instead of carpeting. There was, of
course, a kind of sink-- looking somewhat like an ornate birdbath
actually, where Ranma had her head over, as the servants wrapped
her body in ceremonial robes and finished dying her hair.
"Shut up, pig. I figgered it's the only way t'get back. We need
their help, and they won't help us unless I do this, right?"
Ryouga was once again amazed by Ranma's cognitive abilities--
mainly by their existence. Made sense, however, so he did not say
anything further.
Another man entered the room. Long, pale hair. Thin, mild and
somewhat effeminate. Leggings, similar to what Ukyo usually wore,
and gold anklets as well. The very soul of mildness. "Well,
princess Fatora. I have not seen you for a few days, where have you
been, especially with what just happened to Rune?"
"My sister was ill, Gallus," Rune Venus replied.
"I am sorry to hear that. If I had known, I would have brought
medicine."
Londs spoke up, interjecting, "This is supposed to be only the
royal family here, Lord Gallus. Final preparations for the meeting,
you see."
"Surely," Gallus said, turning towards Rune Venus, "you can
make an exception for your betrothed? After all, we are getting
married soon, are we not, love?"
Londs shook his head and escorted Gallus out of the room. Ranma
let out a deep breath.
"I don't like him," Schtalubaugh said petulantly.
"That will be enough of that, Dr. Sctalubaugh," Rune
reprimanded. "We do what we must do, for the people," she said as
if from rote.
"Well, I still don't like him," the old doctor grumbled.
***
The council meeting was a close call as well. Perhaps somebody
should have better briefed Ranma on what to do-- for instance, been
a little more explicit in the directions of not-talking. About half
way through the meeting, the other Alliance members wanting a
gesture of some sort from the princesses, wanted to know what they
were going to do about the Bugrom.
"Very well," Rune Venus announced. "My sister shall go visit
the sages of Mount Muldoon, to unseal the Eye of God."
Ranma, of course, picked that moment to speak up. "Sure, no
prob!" she said eagerly. "I'll see the old guys and be back in no
time!"
"Old... guys?" one of the council-- a middle-aged woman in an
incarnadine sari and olive skin said.
"I thought they were all female," another council member-- an
old man, remarked.
"Er...," Ranma stalled. "Well, it's just been so long since I
saw them that I forgot." Ranma tittered nervously.
Ryouga hung his head down in shame, shaking it futilely, from
time to time.
"Already been?" the same old council member asked.
Fortunately, Londs was a fairly bright man, as well as being a
quick thinker. "We would not deceive you," he announced to the
members, sliding irritated glances at Ranma all the while. "In
preparation for this meeting, princess Fatora has consulted with
the priestesses."
The same old man shouted joyfully, "I see! What a wonderful
masterstroke! With planning such as this, the Alliance will be
safe!"
Much clapping and good feeling ensued, which did much for
ameliorating Londs' state and hostility towards Ranma.
***
Ukyo sighed. The desert was very, very hot, and her company was
making an already unpleasant experience even more unpleasant.
"There's a tent over there, Shampoo my love," Mousse pointed at
something extremely far away and unseeable by anyone else. "A man's
there, selling things. Looks like there might be water in some of
the jugs and barrels."
Ukyo sighed. "I don't understand it, Mousse."
Akane nodded her agreement. "How come you can see now? You're
blind as a bat, Mousse!"
"Shampoo want to know, too!" the young Chinese woman chimed in.
The whole situation with Mousse and his newfound sight was an
extreme annoyance to her. No longer did he mistake anyone, or
thing, else for her, and as a result was harder to trick.
Mousse didn't need glasses anymore, and in fact had the best
sight out of all of them now. Simple cause and effect would tell
you that something had happened when they were transported to this
land, as his ability to see only started since they touched down.
Then again, these are not the most perceptive (barring Mousse's new
ability, at any rate) nor the most logical of people, so perhaps it
is not surprising they were unable to figure it out.
Akane shook her head. "Well, let's go then. Water would be a
good idea, and maybe we can find Ranma." Ranma had to be here
somewhere, and he'd get them out of this. Always has before,
anyway.
"Probably his fault in the first place, though since I'm with
Shampoo and I can see perfectly it isn't all bad," even Mousse had
to admit.
They made their way towards the distant man and his shop,
several of them wishing they had some of that water right now to
shut Mousse and his protestations of love up.
***
Ranma sighed as she slid into the bed which was by far more
comfortable than what she was used to. There was a hot cup of tea
on the nightstand, but all Ranma wanted to do was sleep and let
this nightmare end. "Don' wanna be a girl, much less a princess,"
he mumbled.
Another girl, however, had other plans. Up from her hiding spot
against the wall she crept, he eyes focusing on one target-- and
that was person in the bed: Ranma. She paced silently, and moved
onto the bed with practised ease. "Fatora, my love," she sighed
lustily. "Your Alielle has missed you."
Ranma missed all this stuff about Alielle missing Fatora, mind
you, being in a state of deep sleep. The woman caressed Ranma's
sleeping form: Ranma slept on. She started to undo the bindings of
Ranma's clothes: again Ranma was oblivious. She squeezed Ranma's
right breast: Ranma woke up quickly, screaming and flailing about
madly.
The wildly moving arms had the unintended effect of knocking
over the cup of (still plenty warm) tea onto Ranma, changing the
she back into a he.
The woman, Alielle, who was busily getting her hand into
Ranma's pants, noted an extra something there that should not have
been, giving a couple of extra squeezes just to be sure. She looked
into Ranma's eyes, who had momentarily stopped screaming as she had
the family jewels in her hand. She looked deep, deep into his
eyes-- and began screaming herself.
Ranma joined her.
Author's notes: A revision. Clarified a couple of things, mostly.
Ready to write part 2 now.
C&C is of course something very nice. Regardless, of
commentary, I will finish it, but what you say is of use to me, and
even if I do not use a suggestion that does not mean I have
disregarded it. Even things I do not use are of help to me, for
they tell me what the readers are thinking, as well as providing
another viewpoint with which I can test my own against, possibly
altering mine, fusing it with yours, or throwing it away totally,
for yours or for something new.
What have I been doing, of late?
Well, not much writing, really. A bit here, a bit there, that's
all, really. About to start another project, though, a crossover
idea a friend mentioned to me, to challenge myself.
Working on my webpage-- once I've finished, I'll most likely be
moving it. Don't worry though, I haven't updated this one yet.
^_^
Matthew Lewis is:
a proud member of Lumpy Pot Productions:
http://www.lumpypot.com
in need of updating his webpage at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/9345/index.html
ICQ# 54523631
____________________________________________________
"The best in our natures is drowning in the worst."
-Lady Spenta Cama, The Ground Beneath Her Feet
by Salman Rushdie
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