Returning Home
By David Farr
Part 8
Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan, Inc and
is
used here respectfully for the purposes of fanfiction. This story may
be redistributed only if unchanged and no fee is charged.
This story and my other works of fiction may be found at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
*****
Nabiki calmly shook out her umbrella, then calmly turned to open
the door. Stepping inside she noted the calmness about the house, but
didn't think anything of it. "I'm home!"
Her cry brought Kasumi out from the kitchen, wiping her hands on
her apron. "Hello, Nabiki. You arrived home just in time. I am about to
put dinner out on the table."
"Just in time is right," Nabiki snorted as she kicked off her
shoes "I wouldn't want to loose my dinner to mister Saotome."
"Oh, Mr Saotome won't be joining us tonight." Kasumi replied,
turning back towards the kitchen.
"Eh?" Nabiki hurried after her sister. "Why not? Did Ranma
finally get sick of the old panda and sell him to a zoo?"
"While he might have deserved it, I doubt Ranma could do that."
Kasumi stepped into the kitchen, immediately sweeping over to the stove
to turn down a pot that was just coming to a boil. "No, he left with Mrs
Saotome."
"Ah." Nabiki commented sagely, opening the fridge and peering
inside. It took a few more moments before realisation hit. She
straightened, eyes wide. "Mrs Saotome?!"
Kasumi was quietly sipping the soup. "Yes, Ranma's mother. She
came looking for them. It was all very sweet, a mother reunited with her
son, not to mention meeting his wife and children for the first time."
She reached over to her spice rack and pulled out a small container. A
small pinch of the herbs was dropped into the pot.
"So what all happened?" Nabiki pulled a can of drink out of the
fridge and popped it out.
Kasumi stirred the soup, mixing in the herbs. "She was not
pleased with Genma taking her son away from her for ten years, but they
decided to return to the Saotome house to sort out there differences."
She dipped the wooden spoon in again and sipped it again. She looked
thoughtful, then nodded in satisfaction. "I doubt I would give him
another chance the way she has."
Nabiki nodded as she sat at the kitchen table. "Yeah well, she
doesn't know him the way we do." She paused. "Or maybe she knows him
better."
Abandoning the pot, Kasumi moved over to the bench, and started
slicing up vegetables. "It all wasn't helped by the fact that Genma had
sworn that if Mother Saotome didn't think Ranma was a man amongst man,
both he and Ranma would commit seppuku."
"Ah, a promise worthy of Genma." Nabiki held her can up in
salute. "What did Mrs Saotome think?"
"I believe the children were more than enough proof for her."
Kasumi paused in her chopping and, out of the corner of her eyes, noticed
Nabiki taking a sip out of her can. "Tell me, Nabiki, did you know Ryoga
was P-chan?"
Startled, Nabiki instinctively tried to spit out her drink,
sending it spraying across her front as it splashed against the can.
"You're kidding!"
"I knew he had a curse," Kasumi admitted, "either that or he some
kind of pervert that kept stripping naked and running away. He seemed
such a nice boy. That was why I always looked after his clothes when I
found them. To think, he'd abuse Akane like that."
"Yeah, it's always the quiet ones," Nabiki admitted cautiously,
grabbing a towel to dab up the drink on her chest.
"You didn't know, did you, Nabiki?"
"Of course not. There is no way the lost boy could pay me enough
to let him get away with it." She stopped drying her clothes, satisfied
she had done what she could. "But you shouldn't worry about it, sis.
Akane's dealing with it, I'm sure, and Ranma's backing her up."
"That's what father said."
Nabiki stepped up beside her sister and gently put her hand on
his shoulder. "He's right. Listen to him."
Ranma's head suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Hey. Oh, hi
Nabiki. Either of you seen the pig? He got away from Ukyo before I got a
chance to talk with him."
*****
Mr Eda, history teacher of class 1F at Furinkan high, was of the view
that it wasn't his job to make sure that his students were actually
learning what he was teaching. If they wanted good grades, it was up to
them to study on their own.
So it was that every history period found Eda standing at the
front of the room, chalk tapping on the board as he wrote down
information, and ignoring the knots of discussion that quickly formed
behind him. Strangely, his methods worked, as the students were forced to
learn entirely on their own.
Finding Ranma Saotome hard at work was not something his friends
Daisuke and Hiroshi expected. Daisuke, the nearer of the two, leant over
to peer at the notebook the martial artist was writing in. It was a
surprise that he found, not some ridiculous drawing, but instead writing
that looked like it belonged on some ancient temple.
Shaking his head, Daisuke leaned closer yet. "Psst, Ranma."
Ranma turned his head slightly, to look out the corner of his eye
at his friend, never stopping writing hurriedly in his book. "Wha?"
"Hiroshi and I were just talking, and something occurred to us.
You and Akane have done the deed, haven't you?" he whispered.
Ranma's smirk was hidden from the other boy thanks to the fact
that he was still buried in his book. "Yeah, we've done lots of deeds,"
Daisuke brightened at Ranma's reply, "we've saved world for example."
Daisuke, and Hiroshi who was leaning across to listen, crashed to
the ground in surprise. "That's not what I meant!" Daisuke hissed. "I
meant you've $@%#ed her, cause you've got kids and all."
Ranma put down his pencil and turned to face the pair. "Grow up
you two. That's much too private to talk about! Especially when Akane is
listening."
"Get real Ranma, Akane can't hear us!"
Moments later a wad of paper bounced off his head, onto Ranma's
desk. Smirking again, he rolled the ball and showed it to the other.
[Wanna bet? -- Akane.]
Ranma grinned, then went back to scribbling in his notebook in
that incomprehensible language.
*****
Birds sung from the trees and a few officer workers sat on the
benches near the pond drinking from Styrofoam cups. The peace of the
small patch of green woodland seemed almost out of place amongst the dull
metal of the surrounding city.
Into the calm intruded the share tip of a blade, which then swept
downwards and to the side, leaving a pulsing slash of energy in its wake.
Whatever was wielding the weapon withdraw it, and then a second point
pierced the air. It too cut down, perpendicular to the pervious tear,
then was pulled away. The four flaps curled, revealing a starlit
landscape beyond.
A single figure, holding two long katana, skipped across the
threshold of the hole and glided across the ground. She tipped forward
slightly, using the rubber stoppers on her roller blades to bring herself
to a stop as the hole sealed shut behind her. Her outfit of black and
neon green looked like it was designed for a Californian roller-skater,
but on closer inspection a variety mystical symbols had been hidden
amongst the padding.
The girl herself looked very young. Barely fifteen, if that. Her
blonde hair was swept back into a long pigtail that swept down her back.
Feather-like antenna rose from the domes that covered her ears, and a
single wire swept up from the banded that connected her headphones. She
smiled happily, calmly spun her swords and shoved them into the sheaths
on her back.
"Now, where in the multiverse am I?" she murmured in perfect
Japanese.
*****
"...so my parents went home to talk. After that I discovered that
Ryoga had got away from Ukyo and vanished again," Ranma finished.
"Sounds like a busy night," Ukyo commented. "Glad I didn't stop
around after work."
The three friends (well, a couple and their friend) were sitting under
one of the many trees in Furinkan's yard, casually eating lunch. Much to
the delight of both girls Ranma had accepted both their offered meals,
although no one would have thought this much of a surprise.
Akane sighed deeply. "Problems just keep coming out of the wood
work for us."
"Yeah, seems there's always trouble when Ranchan's around. Makes
me glad you won him, Akane-chan." Ukyo laughed, and Ranma smiled, glad
his friend was comfortable with the ways things had ended up. Akane, on
the other hand, saw how forced the laugh was.
"Excuse us, mind if we join you?" Everyone looked around to find
Akane's two friends, Sayuri and Yuka hover just behind Akane and Ukyo.
Like Akane they were dressed in the standard Furinkan uniforms, but both
still held their bento boxes.
"Of course," Akane replied, shifting to widen the circle to
include them as Ukyo did the same on her side. "How have you two been?"
Yuka smiled as the pair settled down. "Much better since it
became known that you two are a serious item."
Ranma raised an eyebrow at this, but left replying to Akane.
"Pardon?"
"Well, Akane, you've had the entire male population chasing you,
or at least lusting after you, since the beginning of the year. Now that
you're married, and so happily too I might add, there are a lot more
available boys," Sayuri explained.
"Of course, it doesn't help that by capturing Ranma, you've let
loose two of the cutest girls in Nerima," Yuka added hurriedly.
"Huh? The two cutest girls in Nerima?" Ranma blinked. "I thought
I caught the cutest girl in Nerima."
Akane shook her head. "That has to be Azusa."
"Good point. Okay, the loviest."
"Thank you." Akane didn't take her eyes off Ukyo during the
exchange and thus caught the pained wince.
It wasn't surprising that Ukyo steered the conversation away. "So
who are you talking about?"
"Why, you and Shampoo, of course," Sayuri replied. "Didn't you
realise that the boys are starting up an Ukyo Kounji fan club?"
"Ack!" Ukyo fell over in surprise. "You're kidding!"
Sayuri shook her head. "Not in the least. I heard there was a
meeting this lunch time."
Ukyo settled down, grumbling. "Just so long as I don't start
getting attacked every morning." At that everyone laughed.
"Maybe you can find yourself a good man," Ranma commented.
"Someone less weird than Tsubasa, preferably. Someone like--"
Ranma's comments were interrupted by a cry from the nearby
bushes. "AKANE-CHAN!"
*****
The rain had continued for the entire miserable night. In her
box, shivering in the wet, she had alternated between dreams of lying
beside her husband and killing the woman who dared to take him from her.
Those two pleasures had been swept away like the clouds by the morning
sun.
Reality had still seemed harsh, despite the beauty of the
shimmering puddles left on the sidewalk, but a night of dreams had
inspired her. This would be the day she would claim that which was hers,
and the violent tomboy would learn her place.
Finding hot water was a chore. Returning to the Nekohanten was
out of the question, her great-grandmother would simply try to stop her.
No, that was wrong, there would be no try, simply action. Shampoo rose to
the task and it didn't even bother her that her hair would smell like
herb tea for a while.
It didn't take much to steal a pair of men's slacks and a Hello
Kitty T-shirt, and find herself a pair of bonbori. She immediately set
out for the one place she knew Akane would be: Furinkan High.
Her journey across Nerima's rooftop highway didn't go as
unnoticed as was usual. Instead a strange girl skating along the paths
spotted her and was intrigued.
'Hmmm,' she thought, watching the leaps and bounds carrying the
amazon towards her target. 'Purple hair in pigtails and carrying wooden
maces. Why does that sound familiar?' She paused for a moment, then
shrugged. 'Oh well, she's cute.' She reached over her shoulder and
shifted the hilt of one of her swords. Then skated straight towards one
of the buildings.
Emi was one of those citizens of Nerima who didn't think twice
about tossing water out of a window. As such, when she had finished her
cleaning for the day she simply threw open the nearest window and leant
out to overturn the bucket. Usually however she didn't have to pull back
in to avoid being run over by a roller-blader skating up the wall.
She glanced down at the bucket. "Right, no more chemical cleaners
for me."
The girl with the two swords glanced back as she reached the roof
and her gravity returned to normal. She hadn't expected to have someone
stick their head out right before her. Her quarry was still in sight, so
the sword-girl spun and started building up speed to follow.
If Shampoo had realised the ease with which she was being
followed she would have died of shame. Her tail was doing absolutely
nothing to hide herself, even if she'd wanted to, the amazon's
single-minded determination was propelling her to speeds that the other
could barely manage.
At last Shampoo arrived at school, coming off the roofs and
dropping silently into the bushes. She had just enough time to take in
the scene of Ranma, Akane, Ukyo and two other schoolgirls chatting
happily before a blur of black and fluorescent green shot past her.
"Akane-chan!" The roller-blader cried happily, and barrelled into
the other girl.
Much to her surprise Akane found herself a good couple of meters
from the others and the recipient of a hug worthy of Shampoo. She looked
down to find a smiling face gazing up from a see of blonde hair, and
green and black material.
"Akane-chan! It's been so long!" The girl giggled.
"Blades?!" Akane asked incredulously. "Blades?!"
"Hey squirt, long time no see," Ranma called from where the
others were now standing. "Could you possibly let go of my wife?" He
walked calmly towards them. Behind him, Sayuri and Yuka were watching in
total surprise, while Ukyo had reached over her shoulder for her spatula.
Blades giggled again, and shifted slightly to look over her
shoulder at him. "No." She poked her tongue out at him. It had been
awhile since she had last seen the pair and enjoyed a hug with Akane, so
she wasn't about to give up without a fight.
"Please, Blades," Akane asked sweetly, batting her eyelids at the
young girl.
"I never could say no to a pretty girl," Blades sighed, and
released Akane. She reached out to push herself to her feet and
"accidentally" rested one hand against Akane's breast.
"BLADES!" Akane squealed.
"Sorry, couldn't resist." The girl gave another giggle and
quickly leapt to her feet, gliding away beyond Akane's reach. Her smile
was bright, that infectious kind that seemed to brighten the very day.
"I've put people in hospital for less," Akane warned. She was
frowning too deeply to be taken seriously.
"Yeah, usually me," Ranma added, grinning mischievously as he
helped his wife to her feet.
Blades glided across to the standing trio and slowly looped
around behind them. Grinning, she looked each over in turn, giving Ukyo
only a moments notice before moving onto to the other two. The pair found
themselves under a gaze that felt like that of a lustful boy, causing
them to draw closer together in fear.
"Cute friends you got here, Akane-chan," Blades announced as she
completed her loop, then skated over to meet Ranma and Akane as they
wandered back. "I'm jealous."
"Umm, Akane, who's your, ah, friend?" Yuka asked, her voice
squeaking slightly.
Blades made another loop around behind Akane and Ranma, then
skated towards the pair of girls. She slid to a stop, and bowed deeply,
complete with a flourish of her hand, before them. "I, fair maidens, am
Juxtanher'Nealiaq." She looked up at them with a grin. "But most people
refer to me Blades, 'cause it's not quite the tongue twister."
"She is also, if you hadn't guessed, an aggressive homosexual,"
Ranma added, coming up behind her.
Blades straightened and her grin become wolfish as she growled
playfully at the girls.
"Eep!" Yuka squeaked, taking a step back.
"Down girl," Akane said, laughing. "I don't think they're
interested."
"'Kay." The grin and the lechery vanished from the smaller girl's
face. "So, Akane-chan, are you at least going to introduce them to me?"
Akane rolled her eyes. "Yuka, Sayuri, Ukyo, this is our friend
Blades, who we met during our travels."
"Oh, so she can move between worlds too, huh?" Ukyo looked the
girl over.
Blades skated up to Ukyo, and bent over to stare at Ukyo's chest.
She raised a finger and poked at her breasts. "You're a girl!"
Ukyo took a step back, and wrapped her arms about her chest.
"Yeah, you wanna make something of it?!"
A look of dejection covered Blades' face. "Why would any girl
hide herself?" She raised her arms to the heavens and stared up. "Oh why,
gods above, should a beautiful flower wear the guise of a weed?!" The
other five all sweatdropped at her dramatic outcry.
"So, Blades, what brings you here?" Akane inquired.
"Oh, that girl with purple hair hiding in the bushes."
Everyone paused for a moment, and then Shampoo burst from the
bushes, her bonbori raised above her head. "DIE, AKANE!"
*****
The Chinese gentleman stood waiting patiently in the reception
area of the veterinarian hospital. Living in a village full of women that
would beat you to a pulp if you stepped out of line made patience a
survival trait. Still, he couldn't help but tap his foot impatiently. He
wasn't a great marital artist like his daughter, nor a wizened by his
grandmother-in-law's years, but even he had moments of clairvoyant-like
feelings.
And right now his feelings were saying that someone had to go
help his Shampoo. Not Cologne, he doubted she would listen to him, but a
certain duck would lead little prodding to hurry off to the rescue.
"Sorry about this." The receptionist/nurse emerged from the back
rooms carrying a cage that contained a disturbed looking duck wearing
coke-bottle thick glasses. "He's one of the most badly behaved pets I've
seen in a long time."
"I understand," he bowed to her and took the cage. "May I use
your toilet before I go?"
"Of course, it's right through there." She smiled and watched as
the walking stereotype moved off in direction she indicated.
The nurse was very surprised when a young man in white robes
burst from the toilet and shot out the door. Moments later the old
Chinese gentleman ambled out, sans duck. He smiled and nodded before
leaving too.
Curiosity got the better of her and she went to find out what had
happened to the duck. All she found was the discarded cage and a wet
patch on the floor.
-----
Author's Notes:
Well, first piece released this year/century/millennium/whatever, and
its not the piece I expected. I can't even blame anyone for that, since I just
decided to finished this off. Well, in case you have been reading my rewrites,
the Leprehcaun is gone, I've decided to work more on the interactions between
the already existing characters. I also don't know if I'm going to continue the
"Multiple Ranmas" plot line either.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
-----------
David Farr
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
djfarr@ihug.co.nz katsuhito@planetjurai.com
"Die-cast construction, it's a lost art."
- Optimus Primal, Beast Wars.