My comments are in []
<< Here goes some C&C (with MST and in Spamfic mood :) )
If there was a person in Japan who was as big a weirdness magnet
>as Ranma Saotome, that person was Naru Osaka. Unlike Ranma, however,
>who attracted paranormally powerful martial artists, bizarre curses,
>wandering amazons, confused ghosts, dim witted demons, and the
>occasional small shriveled up pervert, all Naru ever seemed to
>attract was monsters.
That means the insurance companies hate her :)
[Insurance Agent: So your name is....
Naru: Osaka Naru. I want to apply for--
Insurance Agent:
Sorrywereallsoldoutniceofyoutothinkofusbutwereclosedtodaycomeagainnextlifetime
byebye!!]
[snip]
> Most people didn't understand what Naru saw in Umino. They
>looked at the surface and saw a geek.
What? He isn't?
[Course not. He's really Superman, don't let the glasses fool you.]
> Naru allowed herself a small smile at that thought. She wondered
>what Usagi would think about Umino-kun if she knew THAT part. But
>although they were the best of friends, there were some things she
>was NOT planning to share with Usagi. Like eyes and lips.
Then we can cross Naru as a potential lesbian :)))
[Woo hoo! Lemon-dom, here they come!!]
> Idly she wondered what Usagi was doing right now.
[Exploring the above-mentioned idea.]
[snip]
> "Come back here, you baka monster!"
>
> Naru had seen monsters before. None quite as odd looking as this
>one, though.
>
> It seemed to be female-- they nearly always were, for some
>reason-- and made entirely out of Lego blocks.
[Zack! Zack! He's the Lego-Maniac!]
>It was also, contrary to what monsters usually did, running for its
semi-life.
[I like short-lived life here myself. It's only been around for what, half a
day at the most, and it's certainly not going to live for very long when
Paragon's finished with it.]
[snip]
> Well, Legolette had been crafted for just such a thing. She
>could reform herself into almost any weapon she could envision. So,
>it should have been simple.
Murphy's Law ?
[Ferriko: Who's Murphy?]
[snip]
> "MONSTER NO BAKA!"
[ducks for cover]
Wow! Here comes Akane, the mack truck! Hey!!! Oh... It's not her... you
are no fun. <pout> ( :) )
[Man, don't scare me like that! Getting hit by that stupid mallet hurts, you
know. ^_^ ]
> WHAM!
>
> (I guess that's her, and-- WHOA.)
>
> "My GOD. She's a monster herself! NO-ONE can be THAT strong!"
>exclaimed a girl in a stylized green and pink seifuku.
>
> The Sailor Senshi had arrived on the scene. And Jupiter was
>freaking.
[Moon: Jupiter, we don't have time for that, and--HEY!! isn't that _MY_
boyfriend you're freaking with?!
Mamoru: What can I say? I'm a ladies' man.]
<snip>
> No, she's never use the Power of the Paragon against a human
>being. Well, except maybe Happosai. Heck, for all she knew he was
>an evil extradimensional entity himself-- it would explain a lot.
<chuckle>
[nod] No way anyone could be THAT perverted....
> Hmm... and Pantyhose Tarou... Have to ask Star about that...
>
> Well, enough indulging her muscles. Now to finish it.
>
> Tossing the telephone pole up in the air, Paragon let out a Para
>Volt, followed it up with a leaping kick,
[Shooting Star KICK!!]
>and finally suplexed the Ur-demon. Which shattered.
I love Legos. The old ones, that is. You know, when they did not have many
specialized pieces and you had to improvise. Shame on them.
<snip>
> "This we've seen before," murmured Sailor Mercury. "Looks like
>she's playing Nekoneru's game there..." She raised her voice,
>calling, "Paragon! That thing won't stay broken-- we've fought
>something like that before!"
>
> "Oh, goody! You can have it, then!" replied the now dodging
>Paragon. "Damn thing's somehow doubled in speed! At least there
>aren't any--"
>
> There was a sound of many whiny-grunty voices coming down the
>street.
When will she learn?
[Obviously, SOMEone's forgotten about poor old Murphy...]
<snip>
> "Got it! BURNING MANDALA!"
>
> Hoops of elemental fire spun out at the Ur-demon, which screamed
>as her body began to melt and fuse. Paragon grinned at that. "Hey,
>that's pretty good! You guys want to see something with hot and
>cold?"
[Ukyou shows up with a pitcher of hot and cold water and begins to alternate
dousing him with each pitcher.
Ranma: Will you cut that out?!
Ukyou: Come on, Ranchan, share the wealth.]
<snip>
> Paragon had worked carefully on this one. It had occurred to her
>that her normal Ranma-mode attacks could be used if she just called
>them something different and varied the delivery a tiny bit.
>(Actually, it had occurred to Star. But magical mascots are supposed
>to take a back seat.)
[Not too much of a back seat; elsewise, someone's getting a one way trip to
the animal shelter (anyone who knows where this line came from gets a no
prize).]
Of course. Otherwise Luna and Artemis would have gotten all the credit :)
> "PARA IMPACT STORM!"
>
> Mercury, who had been monitoring Paragon as well as the creature,
>gasped. Paragon had punched it one thousand, six hundred and
>thirteen times in less than five seconds, each time with a force
>capable of shattering prestressed concrete. There was a stuttering,
>thundering crack as her fists shattered the sound barrier repeatedly.
[Maybe it should be renamed Para Super Sonic Break. After all, Charlie won't
need it anymore. ^_^ ]
> Paragon blinked. She knew she was stronger and faster in this
>form, but... Oh, MAN, Cologne would freak out...
She would. All that she needed was to look at Ranma's clothing. Or lack
thereof.
[Cologne: Son in Law...you're wearing less clothing than Shampoo in a
bikini...]
> "I think I've gone deaf," complained Venus.
>
> "What? I can't hear you, I've gone deaf," replied Mars.
>
> "Speak up, Mars, I can't hear you," Moon added.
>
> "It's all right, it's just temporary, I don't think she meant to
>do that," said Mercury, who could read lips a little.
[Sounds right. She's more fluent in Sanskrit anyway.]
> "What?" said Mars.
[Methinks they should be yelling at each other to overcome the din in their
ears. which does not work, of course, but they don't know that, yet.]
> While the Senshi tried to sort this problem out, Paragon left,
>her job, as it were, done. She realized that she needed to talk to
>Star about this side effect.
>
> Well, as soon as she could hear the rabbit, anyhow...
[Which will take a few days. Having the sound barrier broken over 600 times
in five seconds is so not good for the ears.]
<snip>
> Nabiki stormed up to Ranma, repressing the desire to frown, it
>would be bad for her image after all, and assuming her patented
>sardonic smirk instead. "And where have you been all day?" she
>demanded.
Here comes the merc... ahemm. Nabiki, the Ice Queen.
<snip>
> "Is that any way to talk to a friend?" Nabiki said, grinning.
>
> "No. But what does that have to do with you? No WAY are you my
>friend."
hmm...
[You know...]
> Nabiki's grin faded.
>
> "What do you mean by that? Of course I'm your--"
>
> "Then why do you pull all that crap on me?"
good point.
[...methinks we're on to something here.]
> "I treat everyone the same, you know that, Ranma."
[Well, I haven't seen her exort Kasumi for money...but then again, who could
do anything mean to her to begin with? You'd have to be unrealistically
heartless to hurt Kasumi...]
> "I do. That's why I don't think you're anyone's friend. I don't
>have time for this, I'm outta here."
>
> Before Nabiki could protest, Ranma skipped to a nearby rooftop
>and started his dash back to the Tendo residence. She stood there,
>in shock. She didn't know what had made this new Ranma, but she knew
>damn well that she didn't like it one bit.
>
> Because Ranma was supposed to forgive and forget like the sap
>she'd always known him to be. And for some reason, he'd stopped
>being a sap. Instead, he'd grown a spine.
>
> She had always, in her own way, considered herself a friend to
>Ranma, and had assumed that he felt the same. But... now she wasn't
>so sure.
>
> For the first time she considered the possibility that Ranma
>might actively dislike her.
>
> And she liked that even less.
That's something that I never really considered. It's a good point in both
Ranma's and Nabiki's caracterisation.
[Ditto. Got me thinking, too.]
<snip>
> "We can't be sure about her at all," Rei said. "She's not a
>Senshi, so we can't be sure."
>
> "Her enemies are our enemies, right? As far as I'm concerned,
>it's six of one and two in the bush," Minako retorted.
>
> There was a pause.
>
> "That's six of-- oh, never mind," Artemis sighed.
<blink> I didn't get it. Could anyone explain this one to me?
[blush]
[Er...we'll tell you when you're older....]
> "I trust her," Usagi said. No emphasis, no challenge, just a
>calm, serene confidence. "She is on our side-- or we're on hers.
>Remember what she said-- this might be her fight? We might be the
>outsiders in this conflict?"
>
> Makoto cracked her knuckles. "Hey, it's all the same to ME. If
>she's a good guy and they are bad guys, then we help the good guy. I
>want to see if I can learn some of her moves."
"Now we're talking!"
[Yeah! let's go kick some ass!!]
> Rei scowled, but said nothing. To her annoyance, that argument
>made perfect sense.
>
> "Besides, she dresses neat," added Chibi-Usa.
>
> "Now you do NOT go there, ninjin-atama," Usagi said. "I won't
>have it now, and I KNOW I won't have it in a thousand years. You are
>NOT dressing like her!"
>
> "Spoilsport."
Usagi: "Pervert."
[Chibi-Usa: Lesbian.
Usagi: What?! I only thought about Naru being like that once!! It was just
an innocent thought!! WAAH!!!]
<snip>
> But apparently the rest of Nerima hadn't agreed.
>
> She'd always assumed blithely-- well, perhaps not blithely, but
>confidently-- that all Ranma had to do was to make a choice, or have
>someone make it for him in this case, and all the other suitors and
>lunatics would vanish away.
"You wish, bring a sponge." (anyone who catches this reference will
receive a prize)
<snip>
> And then, Ranma had cheered up-- but he'd also changed. He
>didn't seem to be worried about the various fiancees, or the stable
>of enemies, or anything of the sort.
>
> It was as though he had more important things to worry about.
Fire the fireworks! Release the baloons! Akane Tendo is figuring something
out by herself!
[Devil: Dammit! Who turned down the brimstone?! It's getting nippy in here!!]
<snip>
> Because this Ranma wasn't playing by the rules that the world had
>set for him.
He shouldn't have ever played by those rules, anyway.
[Of course, the world had set up Rafferty Rules 9no rules), then kept
dropping the poor kid through more loopholes.]
> ####
>
> "I'm sorry, Mr. Kuno, but we do not rent time on the SETI array
>to private citizens."
>
> "Hmmmph. Peasant."
AHAHAHAHAHAH. He's going THAT far to be with his 'osage no onna' ?
This is rich! (and silly)
[Sounds about right for Kuno, that is...]
<snip>
> "Please... don't remind me about Jusendo." Ranma shuddered.
>"That was the worst day of my life."
>
> "Oh? I would have thought the Nyannichuan would have been in
>that spot."
Touch�
[D'oh!!]
<snip>
> "You mean this thing is turning me into someone else?" Ranma
>stared in sudden apprehension at the amulet.
>
> "No... I mean it's allowing you to finally BE you-- the you you
>have the potential to be, the you that your father's training in
>nothing but martial arts and your mother's rather... extreme
>expectations and the pressure from practically everyone you know
>hasn't let you be. You're becoming Ranma."
Interesting.
[Ranma: Yahoo! Now to find the shmuck whose life I've been stuck living. Is
he ever gonna get a piece of my mind...]
> "What if I don't like this... Ranma?"
>
> "I don't think that will be a problem. Hmm... I smell You Know
>Who coming this way... want to have some fun? I think it's your
>turn."
>
> "Which You Know Who?"
>
> "The fat one."
>
> Ranma cracked his knuckles. "OOOH, yeah."
<grin>
[Punk jumped up and gotten beat down! booda bap badap bum booda bpa badap bum
bum....]
> ####
>
> "WHAAHAHAHAIIIE!"
>
> SPLASH!
>
> "GROWF!"
>
> "Honestly, old man. You're getting lax in your training."
>
> Genma-panda rose from the koi pond and fumed. How the HELL had
>the boy gotten that fast?
Paragon-induced?
[Ah, you'd be surprised how fast a man will move when he has a woman
motivating him...]
<snip>
> Minako and Makoto had seen him from time to time in the streets
>of Azabu Juuban. Tallish but not too tall, well built, with dark
>hair in a pigtail and the most incredible blue eyes either of them
>had EVER seen. He affected Chinese garments, which only added to his
>mysterious allure. Exotic, see?
Hmm... who do I know that conforms to that description? :)
[I wonder...]
<snip>
> This wasn't actually unusual for either. Minako had run through
>many a crush in her time after Alan, and Makoto had a way of falling
>in love on a regular basis. But somehow this was different. The Boy
>was, they knew, by far a cut above the rest.
>
> The Boy was also not cooperating.
That's normal.
<snip>
> "No, really. See this book about this Chinese tribe in the
>Byankala range? They use all sorts of methods to meet boys. We can
>set up a snare here, and--"
>
> "I'm NOT going to start setting traps to catch him! That's
>silly! Besides, I think all that stuff is made up, anyhow. Chinese
>Amazons in a valley next to a magical martial arts training ground
>and all... it's ridiculous!"
<groan>
[And you are...?]
> "Well... it was just a thought."
>
> "And this stuff about marriage by combat is nuts! By that logic
>we'd have been married to all four Generals, Wiseman, Diamond,
>Sapphire, AND Professor Tomoe if that applied to us! What are you
>thinking?"
I'm thinking that that argument could lead to an interesting Lemon :)
(no, I am NOT issuing a challenge)
[darn....]
> "I'm thinking that I want to meet the cutest boy that ever walked
>the face of the earth, is what I'm thinking, Mako-chan."
>
> "So do I. But I'm not going to be THIS silly to do it. Where
>did you get that book, anyhow?"
>
> "From that new doctor that started practice last month. Tofu
>Ono. He's pretty cute himself, for an older man..."
>
> "The one with the skeleton? That does all those meditation
>exercises?"
>
> "Hai. I think it has something to do with a girl."
>
> "Girl?"
>
> "Well, I heard him mention a name a few times. Betty."
>
> "Pretty name..."
Yeah. But she's a tad skinny for anyone's taste.
[Well, there's Popeye. He likes skinny women.]
<snip>
> "Aw, um, personal business. Nothing important, really. But
>you?"
>
> Tofu frowned slightly. "I... had to leave. You may not be
aware
>of this, Ranma, but whenever I saw Kasumi, I would become a little
>erratic..."
>
> Ranma stared at Tofu. "I kinda noticed."
How could he not? He almost got killed when he first found out.
[And Akane tried to finish him off later.]
<snip>
> "Yeah, cured. Big load off my mind, I can tell you." (Or it
>would be if I wasn't a magical girl who's stronger than an elephant.)
Shouldn't it be 'stronger than Ryoga' ? Not even an Elephant can take
a boulder head-on ... on second thought... maybe it can... whatever.
<snip>
> And in a voice filled with shock and amazement, Tofu stammered,
>"Wh-where did YOU get the Paragon Amulet?"
>
> (HOO-BOY,) thought Ranma.
This is going to be a long day...
[A really long day....]
<snip>
> There were some things that Ranma was not prepared for.
>
> An apparently insane Doc Tofu shaking him by the shoulders and
>screaming "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT AMULET?!?" was one of them.
Your sense of humor did not suffer from the Y2K bug :)
> "G-GEEZE, DOC! The kid GAVE it to me!"
>
> Tofu released the somewhat baffled Ranma and sat, shaking.
>"But... if you were still cursed, I could possibly see it...
>possibly... but if you're not cursed anymore, why would you have it?
>It makes no sense..."
Ranma never made any sense...
[Surgeon General warning: Do not attempt to make sense of Ranma and his
life. Doing so is hazardous for your health. Also, under no circumstances
are you to attepmt to make sense of where hammers come from. This is not
only hazardous for your health, but for your sanity as well. Also, do not
try to figure out where does the panda get those signs. Doing so will make
you lose your lunch. thank you.]
<snip>
> "Doc, I CAN'T give it to you, even if I wanted to. And how do
>you know what it is?"
>
> "Hey, Ranma, I've been looking all over for you-- I just
>remembered that you're supposed to have an ally, his name's-- Oh,
>you've met already."
>
> Ranma stared at Star, surprised that the rabbit would break his
>cover and speak in front of another human.
>
> Tofu stared at Star, surprised that a rabbit could talk. Then he
>slowly toppled over.
>
> "This is going to be complicated, isn't it?" sighed the rabbit.
Ranma: You betcha.
[Old Murphy's working overtime, I see.]
<snip>
> Tofu blinked. She was even using nearly perfect feminine speech
>patterns. "Ah, well... certainly, Naoko. And... you ARE... Her?"
>You could almost hear the capitalization.
>
> "Oh, yeah. No doubt about THAT. And... well, I have to admit,
>it's a rush."
Ranma: Oh LOOK AT THAT GUY! WOW!! Those muscles! I MUST HAVE HIM!
[Kunou: How dare you taunt me, the great Kunou Tatewaki, age seventeen, the
Blue Thunder and the rising star of Furinken High School, you vile sorcerer!
Have at thee! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!
Two seconds and a pummeling later: Kunou: That...hurt...you, know.... (falls
over)]
<snip>
> "PARAGON NO POWER-- HENSHIN!"
>
> Lights. And Tofu almost passed out again.
>
> "In... incredible..."
>
> "Yeah, I know... pretty spectacular, isn't it?"
>
> "Not the light-show, the outfit. You DO realize that that's
>nearly as revealing as anything Masamune Shirow could come up with?"
>Tofu's meditation training was allowing him to restrain a nosebleed.
>Even knowing the complete truth (As far as anyone did) it was
>still... Then a bad thought hit Tofu, and he began to shiver.
[Tofu: Ranma, how about you and Kasumi come over for the weekend? We can
make a movie--I mean, watch a movie? Oh, and change into the Paragon before
you come over, okay?]
Ranma probably didn't even hear of Shirow-san. Things like Appleseed and
Ghost in the Shell and the like are very philosofical. Although Dominion
Tank Police is a rush.
[Annapuma and Unipuma!]
<snip>
> To Be Continued.
I really hope so. Good humour is always welcome. And this (along with
Girl Days) has it in spades. Keep it up. >>
[Ditto!! I really enjoy this series!]