In a message dated 1/5/00 2:25:32 PM Eastern Standard Time, rsmcosta@netc.pt
writes:
Here goes some C&C (with MST and in Spamfic mood :) )
An interesting way to phrase that...
> If there was a person in Japan who was as big a weirdness magnet
>as Ranma Saotome, that person was Naru Osaka. Unlike Ranma, however,
>who attracted paranormally powerful martial artists, bizarre curses,
>wandering amazons, confused ghosts, dim witted demons, and the
>occasional small shriveled up pervert, all Naru ever seemed to
>attract was monsters.
That means the insurance companies hate her :)
No, she uses an insurance company based in Nerima.
> Most people didn't understand what Naru saw in Umino. They
>looked at the surface and saw a geek.
What? He isn't?
> Well, fair enough. He WAS something of a geek. But he was a
>geek who was loyal, affectionate, brave, unfaltering, and-- the last
>two factors being Naru's personal secret-- had the most gorgeous eyes
>under those coke-bottle glasses and was a fantastic kisser.
Here comes the Theory of Relativity ^_^
Well, since Naru-chan firmly intends someday to make him a relative...
> Naru allowed herself a small smile at that thought. She wondered
>what Usagi would think about Umino-kun if she knew THAT part. But
>although they were the best of friends, there were some things she
>was NOT planning to share with Usagi. Like eyes and lips.
Then we can cross Naru as a potential lesbian :)))
(really, it looks like she doesn't want to share HER lips and eyes with
Usagi.)
That too.
> Idly she wondered what Usagi was doing right now.
>
> Idle wondering was interrupted by something that seemed... odd.
>Even for Juuban.
Maybe she is related to the Hibikis and is actually in Nerima :)
> It was supposed to be simple. There had been nobody anywhere
>around. Just the target, a person of great focus. Send the
>Ur-demon, seek the soul, find out if the StarGem was there, kill the
>target if it wasn't-- didn't do to leave lose ends, after all-- and
>go to the next.
loose ends.
Argh. A spelling typo. And I already sent it off to RAAC. Bleah.
> Of COURSE that Paragon bitch had popped in out of nowhere,
>spouting something about judgment and being wanting and all that. As
>bad as a Senshi, she was.
Be careful with your language! You want this to be X-rated ? ( :) )
X-rated? Do you SEE a Lemon tag? ^_^
> Well, Legolette had been crafted for just such a thing. She
>could reform herself into almost any weapon she could envision. So,
>it should have been simple.
Murphy's Law ?
Author Fiat.
> Ferriko groaned. SHOULD have been. But no, the Paragon was so
>damn fast that Legolette couldn't get a chance to form a weapon,
>except once. And then she hit, not a Paragon, but a telephone pole.
>The telephone pole had almost hit some girl with really strange hair,
>and Paragon went berserk. Who KNEW that such a tiny girl as the
>Paragon could pick up and wield a damn telephone pole?
God?
> Who knew she WOULD?
Fate?
> The Master was NOT going to be happy. Things were going not at
>all as planned...
When does it?
I assume these are rhetorical questions?
> "MONSTER NO BAKA!"
Wow! Here comes Akane, the mack truck! Hey!!! Oh... It's not her... you
are no fun. <pout> ( :) )
Paragon has only a few female role models, you know. When waving large
wooden objects with the intent to pummel, this would naturally leap to mind.
> WHAM!
>
> (I guess that's her, and-- WHOA.)
>
> "My GOD. She's a monster herself! NO-ONE can be THAT strong!"
>exclaimed a girl in a stylized green and pink seifuku.
>
> The Sailor Senshi had arrived on the scene. And Jupiter was
>freaking.
Considering she's a sort of freak herself :) (really, how many magical
girls are
there in the world? no offense)
At last count? Well, Hotaru/Saturn is out of commission (being an infant at
the moment), so... Ten. Three (inactive at the moment) Outers, five Inners,
one Senshi in training, and one Paragon.
> Of course, a short girl in a skimpy costume waving a telephone
>pole around and trying to beat the hell out of a female form made out
>of toy blocks is something that would freak anyone. Sailor Moon was
>willing to bet that even the normally unflappable Sailor Pluto would
>have reacted in the same way.
Considering that I'm plotting a Ranma/SM/Chronotrigger Fusion right now,
I agree with your assessment.
Pluto (after looking at the time stream) : I did NOT see that. I did NOT see
that. I did NOT...
<snip>
> Meanwhile, said Paragon DID have a reason for using a telephone
>pole instead of her usual martial arts and Para Volts. She was
>testing herself to find out just how strong she was.
And what best target than a punching dummy ? Ooppss... that wasn't meant
to be said :)
Since the average Ur-Demon is about as smart as, well, a not smart thing,
dummy is fairly accurate here.
> As best as she could figure, right now she probably was as strong
>as Akane had been under the Super-Soba and twice as good a fighter as
>the Do-Gi incident. Not too shabby. And no unsightly whiskers
>either. Heh.
The best of two worlds without their drawbacks.
Hey, a hairy magical girl doesn't sell NEARLY many toys, roman albums, and
the like...
<snip>
> No, she's never use the Power of the Paragon against a human
>being. Well, except maybe Happosai. Heck, for all she knew he was
>an evil extradimensional entity himself-- it would explain a lot.
<chuckle>
Actually... heh.
> Hmm... and Pantyhose Tarou... Have to ask Star about that...
>
> Well, enough indulging her muscles. Now to finish it.
>
> Tossing the telephone pole up in the air, Paragon let out a Para
>Volt, followed it up with a leaping kick, and finally suplexed the
>Ur-demon. Which shattered.
I love Legos. The old ones, that is. You know, when they did not have many
specialized pieces and you had to improvise. Shame on them.
Those are still around... but you have to LOOK for them.
<snip>
> "This we've seen before," murmured Sailor Mercury. "Looks like
>she's playing Nekoneru's game there..." She raised her voice,
>calling, "Paragon! That thing won't stay broken-- we've fought
>something like that before!"
>
> "Oh, goody! You can have it, then!" replied the now dodging
>Paragon. "Damn thing's somehow doubled in speed! At least there
>aren't any--"
>
> There was a sound of many whiny-grunty voices coming down the
>street.
When will she learn?
When will ANYONE ever?
<snip>
> Paragon had worked carefully on this one. It had occurred to her
>that her normal Ranma-mode attacks could be used if she just called
>them something different and varied the delivery a tiny bit.
>(Actually, it had occurred to Star. But magical mascots are supposed
>to take a back seat.)
Of course. Otherwise Luna and Artemis would have gotten all the credit :)
They should have. =^_^=
> "PARA IMPACT STORM!"
>
> Mercury, who had been monitoring Paragon as well as the creature,
>gasped. Paragon had punched it one thousand, six hundred and
>thirteen times in less than five seconds, each time with a force
>capable of shattering prestressed concrete. There was a stuttering,
>thundering crack as her fists shattered the sound barrier repeatedly.
>
> Paragon blinked. She knew she was stronger and faster in this
>form, but... Oh, MAN, Cologne would freak out...
She would. All that she needed was to look at Ranma's clothing. Or lack
thereof.
Shampoo : Okay. THAT something Shampoo NOT wear. Even on bet.
Mousse : Aw, YOU'RE no fun.
(Splashing and quacking ensue.)
> "I think I've gone deaf," complained Venus.
>
> "What? I can't hear you, I've gone deaf," replied Mars.
>
> "Speak up, Mars, I can't hear you," Moon added.
>
> "It's all right, it's just temporary, I don't think she meant to
>do that," said Mercury, who could read lips a little.
>
> "What?" said Mars.
>
> While the Senshi tried to sort this problem out, Paragon left,
>her job, as it were, done. She realized that she needed to talk to
>Star about this side effect.
>
> Well, as soon as she could hear the rabbit, anyhow...
They will need ear protectors...
No, Paragon just has to figure out how to do it more... quietly... OK, so
they WILL need ear protection. :P
<snip>
<snip>
> "Is that any way to talk to a friend?" Nabiki said, grinning.
>
> "No. But what does that have to do with you? No WAY are you my
>friend."
hmm...
> Nabiki's grin faded.
>
> "What do you mean by that? Of course I'm your--"
>
> "Then why do you pull all that crap on me?"
good point.
I always thought so.
> "I treat everyone the same, you know that, Ranma."
>
> "I do. That's why I don't think you're anyone's friend. I don't
>have time for this, I'm outta here."
>
> Before Nabiki could protest, Ranma skipped to a nearby rooftop
>and started his dash back to the Tendo residence. She stood there,
>in shock. She didn't know what had made this new Ranma, but she knew
>damn well that she didn't like it one bit.
>
> Because Ranma was supposed to forgive and forget like the sap
>she'd always known him to be. And for some reason, he'd stopped
>being a sap. Instead, he'd grown a spine.
>
> She had always, in her own way, considered herself a friend to
>Ranma, and had assumed that he felt the same. But... now she wasn't
>so sure.
>
> For the first time she considered the possibility that Ranma
>might actively dislike her.
>
> And she liked that even less.
That's something that I never really considered. It's a good point in both
Ranma's and Nabiki's caracterisation.
Part of the Paragon Effect is Ranma's beginning to develop a spine-- and a
fair amount of enlightened self-interest.
<snip>
> "We can't be sure about her at all," Rei said. "She's not a
>Senshi, so we can't be sure."
>
> "Her enemies are our enemies, right? As far as I'm concerned,
>it's six of one and two in the bush," Minako retorted.
>
> There was a pause.
>
> "That's six of-- oh, never mind," Artemis sighed.
<blink> I didn't get it. Could anyone explain this one to me?
One of Minako's all time most endearing traits is that she can't get a
classical quote or homily correct to save her life. Such undying phrases as
"It's no use crying over spilled cod's-roe" or "The grass is always greener
on the rolling stone" leap to mind.
> "I trust her," Usagi said. No emphasis, no challenge, just a
>calm, serene confidence. "She is on our side-- or we're on hers.
>Remember what she said-- this might be her fight? We might be the
>outsiders in this conflict?"
>
> Makoto cracked her knuckles. "Hey, it's all the same to ME. If
>she's a good guy and they are bad guys, then we help the good guy. I
>want to see if I can learn some of her moves."
"Now we're talking!"
It IS Makoto. ^_^
> Rei scowled, but said nothing. To her annoyance, that argument
>made perfect sense.
>
> "Besides, she dresses neat," added Chibi-Usa.
>
> "Now you do NOT go there, ninjin-atama," Usagi said. "I won't
>have it now, and I KNOW I won't have it in a thousand years. You are
>NOT dressing like her!"
>
> "Spoilsport."
Usagi: "Pervert."
Chibi-Usa: "Tomboy! Wait, where did THAT one come from..."
<snip>
> And then, Ranma had cheered up-- but he'd also changed. He
>didn't seem to be worried about the various fiancees, or the stable
>of enemies, or anything of the sort.
>
> It was as though he had more important things to worry about.
Fire the fireworks! Release the baloons! Akane Tendo is figuring something
out by herself!
She's not STUPID-- she just can be dense in a few specific areas. Such as
Ranma, P-Chan, and the difference between vinegar and bleach. ^_^
<snip>
> Because this Ranma wasn't playing by the rules that the world had
>set for him.
He shouldn't have ever played by those rules, anyway.
No, he shouldn't have. But he didn't know anything else... Thank YOU so
much, Genma. :P
> ####
>
> "I'm sorry, Mr. Kuno, but we do not rent time on the SETI array
>to private citizens."
>
> "Hmmmph. Peasant."
AHAHAHAHAHAH. He's going THAT far to be with his 'osage no onna' ?
This is rich! (and silly)
Tatewake Kuno, Astrophysicist.
<snip>
> "Please... don't remind me about Jusendo." Ranma shuddered.
>"That was the worst day of my life."
>
> "Oh? I would have thought the Nyannichuan would have been in
>that spot."
Touché
Like I said... he's growing up. If Star has to drag him into maturity by his
earlobes. But he's going to have a LONG way to go...
<snip>
> "You mean this thing is turning me into someone else?" Ranma
>stared in sudden apprehension at the amulet.
>
> "No... I mean it's allowing you to finally BE you-- the you you
>have the potential to be, the you that your father's training in
>nothing but martial arts and your mother's rather... extreme
>expectations and the pressure from practically everyone you know
>hasn't let you be. You're becoming Ranma."
Interesting.
Thanks.
> "What if I don't like this... Ranma?"
>
> "I don't think that will be a problem. Hmm... I smell You Know
>Who coming this way... want to have some fun? I think it's your
>turn."
>
> "Which You Know Who?"
>
> "The fat one."
>
> Ranma cracked his knuckles. "OOOH, yeah."
<grin>
Hai-- enough deep introspective soul-searching! It's time to annoy Genma!
> ####
>
> "WHAAHAHAHAIIIE!"
>
> SPLASH!
>
> "GROWF!"
>
> "Honestly, old man. You're getting lax in your training."
>
> Genma-panda rose from the koi pond and fumed. How the HELL had
>the boy gotten that fast?
Paragon-induced?
Of course-- but the joke here is Ranma pulling the old "Ambush The Boy To
Keep His Edge UP" gag on Genma.
<snip>
> "No, really. See this book about this Chinese tribe in the
>Byankala range? They use all sorts of methods to meet boys. We can
>set up a snare here, and--"
>
> "I'm NOT going to start setting traps to catch him! That's
>silly! Besides, I think all that stuff is made up, anyhow. Chinese
>Amazons in a valley next to a magical martial arts training ground
>and all... it's ridiculous!"
<groan>
Oh, it's not THAT bad... No, you're right. Groan.
> "Well... it was just a thought."
>
> "And this stuff about marriage by combat is nuts! By that logic
>we'd have been married to all four Generals, Wiseman, Diamond,
>Sapphire, AND Professor Tomoe if that applied to us! What are you
>thinking?"
I'm thinking that that argument could lead to an interesting Lemon :)
(no, I am NOT issuing a challenge)
I ain't taking one. **shudders**
<snip>
> "Aw, um, personal business. Nothing important, really. But
>you?"
>
> Tofu frowned slightly. "I... had to leave. You may not be
aware
>of this, Ranma, but whenever I saw Kasumi, I would become a little
>erratic..."
>
> Ranma stared at Tofu. "I kinda noticed."
How could he not? He almost got killed when he first found out.
Be kind. Ranma is...
<snip>
> "Yeah, cured. Big load off my mind, I can tell you." (Or it
>would be if I wasn't a magical girl who's stronger than an elephant.)
Shouldn't it be 'stronger than Ryoga' ? Not even an Elephant can take
a boulder head-on ... on second thought... maybe it can... whatever.
<snip>
So he's not great at analogies.
> And in a voice filled with shock and amazement, Tofu stammered,
>"Wh-where did YOU get the Paragon Amulet?"
>
> (HOO-BOY,) thought Ranma.
This is going to be a long day...
But of COURSE.
<snip>
> There were some things that Ranma was not prepared for.
>
> An apparently insane Doc Tofu shaking him by the shoulders and
>screaming "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT AMULET?!?" was one of them.
Your sense of humor did not suffer from the Y2K bug :)
I HOPE not.
> "G-GEEZE, DOC! The kid GAVE it to me!"
>
> Tofu released the somewhat baffled Ranma and sat, shaking.
>"But... if you were still cursed, I could possibly see it...
>possibly... but if you're not cursed anymore, why would you have it?
>It makes no sense..."
Ranma never made any sense...
No, he made PERFECT sense. For a super-powerful sex-changing socially
retarded martial artist, that is.
<snip>
> "Doc, I CAN'T give it to you, even if I wanted to. And how do
>you know what it is?"
>
> "Hey, Ranma, I've been looking all over for you-- I just
>remembered that you're supposed to have an ally, his name's-- Oh,
>you've met already."
>
> Ranma stared at Star, surprised that the rabbit would break his
>cover and speak in front of another human.
>
> Tofu stared at Star, surprised that a rabbit could talk. Then he
>slowly toppled over.
>
> "This is going to be complicated, isn't it?" sighed the rabbit.
Ranma: You betcha.
Kenko: You have NO idea, boys.
<snip>
> Tofu blinked. She was even using nearly perfect feminine speech
>patterns. "Ah, well... certainly, Naoko. And... you ARE... Her?"
>You could almost hear the capitalization.
>
> "Oh, yeah. No doubt about THAT. And... well, I have to admit,
>it's a rush."
Ranma: Oh LOOK AT THAT GUY! WOW!! Those muscles! I MUST HAVE HIM!
WRONG author. ^_^
<snip>
> "PARAGON NO POWER-- HENSHIN!"
>
> Lights. And Tofu almost passed out again.
>
> "In... incredible..."
>
> "Yeah, I know... pretty spectacular, isn't it?"
>
> "Not the light-show, the outfit. You DO realize that that's
>nearly as revealing as anything Masamune Shirow could come up with?"
>Tofu's meditation training was allowing him to restrain a nosebleed.
>Even knowing the complete truth (As far as anyone did) it was
>still... Then a bad thought hit Tofu, and he began to shiver.
Ranma probably didn't even hear of Shirow-san. Things like Appleseed and
Ghost in the Shell and the like are very philosofical. Although Dominion
Tank Police is a rush.
He's going to get REALLY annoyed at that comparision-- "Who IS this guy?"
"Have a copy of Intron Depot." "I wear more than that. Well, a little more
than that..."
<snip>
> To Be Continued.
I really hope so. Good humour is always welcome. And this (along with
Girl Days) has it in spades. Keep it up.
I'll do my best!
Kenko/Robert Haynie-- Author of Girl Days, Paragon, Redheads,
and War and Peace-- Gomen, no the last was Leo Tolstoy. Well,
I was CLOSE...