Here's Chapter 2 of the repost thingy.
------------------------------ CUT HERE ------------------------------
wyrm@mail.utexas.edu
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
NERIMA, 2011 AD
---------------
Saotome Nodoka sighed tiredly as she trudged through the streets. Her
wooden geta clacked a fixed pattern against the sidewalk concrete, and
with her Special Little Package cradled in her arms. Her husband, Genma,
had gone out with his friend Soun to get drunk off their asses. They were
very successful.
/*Too bad it's one of the few things that they can do right...*/
An hour ago, Nodoka received a call from some man with slurred speech.
It took her a minute to realize that it was Genma. He had overspent his
wallet and needed Nodoka to bring money to cover him and Soun. She sighed,
exasperated. /*Maybe I should start charging them interest,*/ she thought
wryly.
The past nineteen years had been kind to her. The dreaded Takahashi
Syndrome had yet to strike her, if it would strike at all. She had some
gray hair and a moderate number of wrinkles, but that was it.
She stopped suddenly. For a second, everything was still. Then Nodoka
unwrapped her sword, drawing it out. She no longer accidentally tossed it
away doing this, and was actually a decent swordswoman. It was to the
exercise she got as she trained with the sword that she attributed her
retained youth. "Who's there?" she demanded.
She tried to feel her opponent, but had not yet detected him. She
could've sworn that someone was...
A hand closed around her mouth, while another grabbed her around her
torso, pinning her arms to her sides. Nodoka tried to scream, but the hand
prevented her. She struggled, but the other hand held her fast. She
struggled and let out muffled screams as she was dragged into the waiting
alley...
Tj/Wyrm presents
A GAC Production
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
H U N T R E S S
By Thomas R Jefferys
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
With additional dialogue by J. D. Farber
Ranma 1/2 and associated characters created by....
Ahhh, do you really give a shit anyway?
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
CHAPTER 2: Summer of '91
NERIMA DISTRICT, 2011 AD
------------------------
Shampoo stepped out of the Tendou home. Her eyes casting a wearied
glance at everything. If she was caught doing this, it would be VERY hard
to explain. Her eyes scrutinized the yard, and she chose a spot just
behind one of the trees in the yard.
Grass crunched underneath her Chinese shoes. Sourly, she grumbled,
"Leather is a bitch to dry," as she made her way to the base of the tree,
scrutinizing the twisted roots and the earth underneath with a critical
eye, appraising it like a work of art. Shampoo frowned. /*Great. Now
you're acting like a hoity-toity Toreador. Next thing you know, you'll be
staring entranced at a twisted fork.*/
<<Hello, Shampoo.>>
Shampoo started, letting out a small shriek before recovering, then
gave the wraith a hard look. "Mousse, how many times have I told you not
to _do_ that?" she hissed.
<<Sorry. It's not as if I have many real, solid people I can to talk
to...>> Mousse's ghost 'replied'. Since he lacked the material substance
necessary to actually vibrate air molecules, Mousse could only 'path his
thoughts. He looked much like when he was alive, save he no longer wore
glasses; he no longer needed them. Arcane sight didn't suffer from bad
optics.
Apparently, when Mousse died, his spirit latched onto Shampoo's soul.
Shampoo was the only non-ephemeral who could really interact with Mousse;
even necromancers had a hard time talking to him. Besides her, only
spirits and other wraiths could properly communicate with Mousse. It
probably had to do with the intense love that Mousse had for her...and the
way Mousse had died.
"I don't see why you don't just transcend your ghostly ass to the next
level and be done with it; you know as well as I do that my kind don't
become wraiths," Shampoo told him, stating a fact that they both knew.
After all, Mousse originally told her this; such souls are summarily
dumped into Oblivion. "You're not helping me by sticking around, y'know,"
she added, "You're just reminding me of that awful night."
Mousse shook his insubstantial head. <<I know, Shampoo. That's why I'm
here,>> he 'said'. <<As I told you when I first appeared to you like this,
I'm not leaving until my job is done.>>
"Go away!" snarled the Amazon.
Mousse grinned like a shark. <<Make me.>>
She let out a hiss and and threw a powerful punch at the spectre's
chin. Shampoo's uppercut hit nothing, passing right through; the wild
swing threw her off balance and brought Shampoo unceremoniously to the
ground. A ghostly laugh issued from Mousse's lips.
Mousse waited for Shampoo to pick herself off the ground, a little
annoyed but much more embarrassed. Shampoo herself remembered that a
restless Mousse can't be as easily silenced like a living Mousse. <<Now,
if you're through chasing after ghosts, I'll continue. I'm here to keep
you sane; if you keep wallowing in self-pity, it'll destroy you.>>
The annoyed look was rolled over by one of depression. "Let it. It's
more than I deserve."
<<No, I can't...won't let that happen. My soul will never be at rest
until yours is,>> Mousse stated. Mousse reached into his robes and pulled
out a spectral rose. Offering it to Shampoo, he added, <<I still love you
so much.>>
Shampoo scowled at the ephemeral flower offered to her. She passed a
hand through it, disrupting it like a trail of smoke. "That," she declared
without reservation, "is not possible. Not after what I've done...after
what I became." She spun about and strode back toward the tree.
<<After what? After you became a vampire?>>
Shampoo froze.
("Your fangs, Shampoo...")
<<After you killed me?>>
("Your fangs...")
-=<oo>=-
...He was grinning, his canines pronounced, almost like...fangs.
/*Vampire...*/ her mind realized.
"Congratulations, Shampoo, on your first kill," Calvin said as if a
proud parent.
The bile rose in Shampoo's mouth. At least, she hoped...prayed it was
bile. "Shampoo's...first...kill?" She looked down at the body, especially
at the wound on his neck. She examined the two puncture wounds on his
neck. That and his paleness told her exactly what had killed him.
But that one said that she had killed him.
That would mean...
Almost afraid of what she might find, she reached up and probed her
mouth. All her teeth seemed to be in the right place, and there didn't
seem to be any additional or unusually long teeth, although her canines
were a bit sharper than she remembered. Shampoo felt her anger swell. "YOU
LIE!" she accused, standing. "Vampire kill Mousse! Shampoo only see one
vampire here, and Shampoo no vampire!"
Calvin gave her a toothy grin. "You sure about that?"
Shampoo was taken aback for a second by a mote of doubt before
recovering with a thin smile. "If Shampoo vampire, where Shampoo's fangs,
hmmmm?" she asked smugly.
"Oh, a Kindred's fangs not extended all the time, you know," Calvin
said matter-of-factly. "Otherwise, the Masquerade would be very difficult
to maintain." Calvin took a moment to slash his arm, laying his flesh open
like raw meat.
Shampoo shuddered. For some reason, she didn't feel the blood drain
from her face. "You is crazy vampire!" she declared.
Calvin laughed. "Nah! I'm no Malkavian...but you don't know what the
hell a Malkavian is, do you? Oh well, you'll know soon enough."
As Shampoo tried to figure out what the heck Calvin was talking about,
she smelled something wonderful. Shampoo felt giddy just at the smell, so
good that she wanted to drink in all of whatever it was. She sniffed
around, trying to locate the source of that wonderful head.
"Shampoo."
Shampoo interrupted her search to look at Calvin. The vampire showed
her his arm, a dark red liquid slowly seeping out the slash in his arm.
Shampoo's gaze locked onto the vitae, and she wanted nothing more than to
lap it up.
She took a single step toward him and stopped, suddenly realizing what
exactly that was she wanted to drink. /*What am I THINKING?!*/ Shampoo
thought with revulsion...empty revulsion, as the urge to consume it grew
stronger. She stared entranced by the sight of it.
Then she felt something move in her mouth.
Calvin nodded in satisfaction and brought his wounded arm up, licking
at his blood and at the wound. Both disappeared. Shampoo whimpered
pitifully and took another step to him, then stayed herself.
Shampoo remembered that movement in her mouth, the movement of
something extending. She ran her tongue over her teeth and winced as it
caught on something long and sharp where her canine should've been. She
swallowed the savory blood as it healed almost instantly.
Long and sharp?
Her hand went to her mouth again, only this time when she examined it,
she felt two long and pointed teeth, almost like the canines of a wolf.
"Your fangs, Shampoo," Calvin whispered in triumph.
Shampoo recalled the sensation of them extending, remembering how it
was done. Then she just...retracted them, and they obeyed like they were
an arm or leg. She spent a few moments playing with her new body part. The
Amazon beauty looked down at herself, down at her deathly-pale skin, then
started shivering as if someone poured ice water down her back, only she
didn't turn into a cat.
The memory of her first hunt came back to her.
She took a step back.
Then another.
Then she ran.
-=<oo>=-
Shampoo shook herself free of the memory. She had simultaneously
learned of her vampirism and the identity of her first prey. Mousse, her
would-be rescuer, a man whom she had grown up with, a man who loved her.
Shame weighed down on her unbeating heart. The ghost of Mousse was
standing right in front of her, and she could think of only one question.
"How can you possibly love me, Mousse?" she asked in a voice trembling.
"You should _hate_ me! I killed you! With these!" She opened her mouth,
showing her extended fangs. Shuddering, she retracted them and whimpered,
"I-I'm a monster, Mousse..."
Mousse let out a spectral sigh. Almost his entire life had been
devoted to Shampoo, since he was three. That was about thirty four years
in the past, taking up the first fourteen years of that time in blind
pursuit of his love. <<I don't care. My love for you shall never waiver,
Shampoo,>> Mousse replied. /*My love, or my passion; take your pick...*/
he added silently.
"No! Leave me, Mousse! Forget about me; you owe me nothing! Go now and
never look back!" came her last sorrowful commands as Shampoo bolted for
the tree.
<<SHAMPOO!!>>
Shampoo's body suddenly dropped into the soil as if falling into a
deep pit near the tree. Mousse knew there was no actual hole, though.
Rather, she had used one of her powers to join with the earth in which the
tree was rooted. The earth would protect her from the sun's rays until
dusk tonight.
-====||====-
*bleeeep*
*bleeeep*
*bleee--* *click*
"Moshi-moshi," Ranma said into the receiver, listening to the phone at
the same time that he was playing Monopoly with Mizaki-chan. He listened
for a minute to the person at the other end, his face slowly gaining a
scowl. "Who IS this?!?" he roared. "Kodachi, if that's you, I'll...Oh,
it's you, Pop..."
---/--/---
Genma swayed like reeds in the wind as he held the receiver on his end
to his ear. "Lithen, boy...*hic* I don' havta take any *hic* crap fro' ya.
Jus' geddown to da pub and pay off...pay off...*hic*"
//Are you at the Cha-Cha Maru AGAIN?!// came Ranma's outraged scream,
//POP! How many times have I _told_ you not to get drunk off your ass all
night! Some father YOU are...//
"Weeeellll, Y'know, Ranma...*hic*," Genma drawled, "We're jus'
celebraten' da union of the...*hic* Anythin' Goes... Anythin' Goes...*hic*
you know." He blinked, then remarked into the receiver, "Speakin' of
which..." Hanging up, he headed for the head.
---/--/---
Ranma mumbled dark things as he replaced the receiver back on the
phone cradle. Sighing, he turned to the rest of the family. "I gotta go
pick up my old man and Grandpa Tendou. I'll be back in a bit."
"Drunk again, huh?" Tashimi remarked dryly as she read _Horrible
Forces of the Universe (and How to Use Them)_.*
"As a skunk..." Ranma replied, and left the room to get ready.
Besides, he was losing anyway.
*(2pts to anyone who catches that reference! :)
-====||====-
Ranma strolled out of his home, down the footpath. He didn't notice
the figure in white robes leaning against the tree. This was not
surprising, that he wouldn't be able to see that figure anyway.
Mousse watched Ranma step out of the Dojo gate and take a left.
<<Being a ghost sucks...>> the spectre remarked as he pushed himself off
the tree that he was leaning against. Ranma had taken to the rooftops,
going to the bar his father and father-in-law were stuck at.
Mousse needed no support anymore. Instead, he took to the air and
pursued his former rival. Of course, his rivalry was now moot; not only
was he no longer able to pursue Shampoo or destroy Ranma in any real way,
Shampoo was now DEFINITELY not available...
-====||====-
NERIMA DISTRICT, 1991 AD
------------------------
Nerima had a norm. The market still opened at five and closed at nine.
Kids still went to and from school and despised homework. People still
cleaned their houses and worked in their gardens. Engineers still worked
in sterile and small cubicles, and their managers still ignored them.
"Dogbert, what's that you doing with that metal detector?"
"I found out your boss is embezzling from the company. Once I find his
nest-egg, I'll use it as evidence against him."
"You going to give the cash back?"
"Some of it." *wag* *wag* *wag*
The engineers' dogs are still megalomaniacs...
"Konnichiwa, Tofu-sensei."
"Ka-Ka-Ka-Kasumi!"
"Ahhh, Kasumi-dear! Heavens to Betsy, my gout seems to have gotten
much better all of a sudden! Thank you anyway, Doctor. Bye now!"
*ZOOOM!!!*
Kasumi still made Dr. Tofu crazy with love.
"...And to elaborate on this important point, officer, it is
imperative that the Tokyo police be more attentive to their duties so that
nobility such as I, the great Kunou Tatewaki, scion of the grand House of
Kunou, may walk these streets without coming into contact with vile
travesties of justice such as these!"
"Listen, Mac. Sweeping up the dog shit is the Department of
Sanitation's job."
Kunou still remained the long-winded moronic jerk he is.
And most importantly...
"Aiyah! Ranma Airen, Nihao!!!" *glomp!* "You take Shampoo on date,
yes?"
"Date...?"
"DATE!!??!! You ungrateful jerk! I was going to cook dinner tonight!"
"*URK!* Jeez, that date's startin' to sound pretty good, Shampoo..."
"Wai! Shampoo so happy!!"
"Why you... RANMA NO BAKA!!!" *BA-KOOOOM!!!*
...Saotome Ranma still had woman troubles...
*SPLASH!*
"Wadja do _that_ for, you kawaikune tomboy!"
"'Tomboy'!?! Look who's talking, 'TOMBOY'!" *WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!*
...in more ways than one.
-====||====-
It is here that this flashback truly begins.
"Shampoo! Look out!"
"AIYAHHHHHHH!!!"
*SCREECH!*
*CRUNCH!*
"Oh no! Shampoo's bike!"
/*Shit,*/ thought the driver. /*This is not good.*/ Wilhelm Kraus put
the car into gear and mashed down on the accelerator. The master would
give him hell for this, to actually run _over_ her bicycle. That was what
Calvin called "A Big Oops." /*Naah, this is bigger than a Big Oops, this
is a Bad Thing.*/ Be that as it may, he couldn't let Shampoo see him,
especially if he wanted to live. The tires squealed and he was off.
"I guess that's what you get for tailing someone on a bike with a
car..."
Despite his mistake, Wilhelm smiled; Shampoo had not identified him as
far as he could tell. That was critical, as her time drew near. Just get a
little ways away, and watch the prey from afar...
"Stupid driver! He crush Shampoo's bike! How Shampoo deliver orders
now?" Shampoo growled, looking at the twisted remains of what had once
been a bicycle. Her bicycle. "If Shampoo ever see stupid bearded man
again, Shampoo smash!"
Her anger fled her when she realized that she had won the coveted date
with Airen. Her scowl turned into a bright, cute smile. She was going to
have such fun tonight. Who knows, she might get lucky.
"Shampoo!"
Shampoo winced. Duck-boy was back.
"Shampoo! I love you!" Mousse yelled as he thundered toward Shampoo, a
big bouquet of flowers in his hands and a billowing cloud of dust trailing
him. "Take this token of my lo--!"
*DONG!*
"Stupid Mousse. That telephone pole!"
Shampoo sighed as Mousse slowly slid down the still quite solid pole.
/*What a dimwit. Some things never change...thank goodness.*/ Her eyes
went to the box containing her deliveries. /*Might as well deliver what I
can and get back to the Nekohanten,*/ she thought. /*Then, a date with
Ranma.*/ She started jogging in the direction of her next delivery, the
box swinging with each stride...
The delivery went well. Why shouldn't it? It's not like it was a major
task to her and she had no experience. In actuality, it was just taking
boxes to some goddamned place in Tokyo and dropping them off. You had to
be a really dim bulb (or Ryouga) not to accomplish that.
Of course, there was that peculiar chill that accompanied her during
the delivery, but whenever she looked, no one was there. She dismissed it
as a figment of her imagination.
Shampoo returned to the Nekohanten, finished off her shift. Cologne
released her early anyway. After all, she was her great-grandaughter, and
she was about to have a date with the man that would be her son-in-law.
-====||====-
Ranma shed her shoes as Akane continued to bitch at her. "You
boar-buggerin', slop-eating bigot! You'd take Shampoo on a date rather
than stay home and let me cook for you!" Recently, Akane got her hands on
a cheerful little book called _1001 Insults for Your Betrothed_, by Akbar
& Jeff, and her insults have become more creative ever since. Ranma didn't
have that advantage, and Akane reveled in it.
"Ahhh, you stupid tomboy! Doncha realize you can't cook?" Ranma
snapped back. Ranma was always very confused why his/her fiancee never
seemed to realize that she was culinarily challenged; it wasn't _his_
fault her stuff tasted worse than pig slop.
Akane, on the other hand, never knew why Ranma didn't appreciate her
cooking. He seemed to think making fun of her cooking was the most
enjoyable thing in the world. After all, cooking was simple, wasn't it?
Kasumi made it seem so easy.
This point she made clear to Ranma with her mallet, which Akane
applied to her head. "Owww!" Ranma grunted.
Akane stormed away, growling a mantra: "Ranma no baka! Ranma no baka!
Ranma no baka!..."
Ranma extracted herself from under the mallet, moaning in pain.
"Stupid tomboy..." she snarled softly. "Fine then. I go out with Shampoo
and take her to a love motel if that will make you happy! *urk!*" she
shouted, and a duck-pin labeled "duck-pin" slammed against her skull.
"ow..." she moaned as she picked herself off the floor and trooped to the
bathroom to revert to maleness.
*DING-DONG!*
Kasumi stepped out of the kitchen, declaring cheerfully, "Oh my,
that'll be the new rice cooker..."
(SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: (a la "Ben Hurr") "NEW COOKER SKETCH")
--- O_O -- O_O -- O_O -- O_O -- O_O -- O_O ---
Elsewhere, elsewhen, a cute redhead in a sweatshirt and jeans with a
pair of metal-rimmed glasses on her nose mallets a similarly (but more
masculinely) dressed bespectacled man at a computer.
-====||====-
When Shampoo came down the stairs from the bedrooms, she was cladded
in a vermilion silk cheongsam with gold-threaded flower prints interwoven
within the sheer silk fabric. "Great-Grandmother! You think Husband like
Shampoo's dress?" she asked melodiously, twirling around in front of her
aged ancestor.
Cologne looked up from her evening meal and appraised her young heir.
She nodded approvingly at the way the tight dress hugged Shampoo's curves.
The rectangular-cut ruby earrings matched the dress, forming a bridge of
color between the dress, her pouty cherry lips and purple hair.
"Shampoo," Cologne smiled greatly, "Your husband would have to be dead
not to like it."
"Aiyah! Shampoo glad Great-Grandmother think so!"
As if on cue, a knock came from the side door. From beyond the wooden
portal came a young man's voice speaking sloppy Japanese, "Yo, Shampoo.
I'm here now."
"Your date is here, Great-Granddaughter. Go forth and reel him in!"
Cologne gave Shampoo a conspiratorial wink, and brought a piece of tofu up
in between her chopsticks. Shampoo beamed so brightly, casting shadows
everywhere, as she bounced to the door; tonight, Ranma _will_ be hers at
last, or she would die in the attempt.
One of Cologne's chopsticks snapped off while putting the morsel in
her mouth. The wooden length made an ominous clatter as it fell onto the
table surface.
*klackity-klack*
Cologne stared at the broken chopstick. /*A bad omen...*/
"Ranma, Aiyah!" Shampoo giggled as she pulled open the door. Ranma was
standing at the door, looking very uncomfortable in an expensive black
tuxedo, and feeling very much like a fried tortilla. He did hold a bouquet
of roses in his hand, freshly cut and wafting the sweet fragrance of the
flower of love to the couple's noses.
Anyway, Ranma had to take a step back as he took in the beauty that
stood before him. He felt a sweat-drop form on his head as he reevaluated
the wisdom of a date with Shampoo. This evaluation turned out unchanged
when he took Akane's dinner into account. /*She's better than a kick in
the head.*/ "Er, uh... You-you look... uh, er, great... Shampoo..." he
managed to stammer out as he forgot all the remaining grammar rules he
knew, finding his mouth uncooperative as he had to retrieve it from the
ground.
"Husband really think so?" Shampoo asked, edging closer to her date
and gave him a carefully-calculated glimmering-eye look.
Ranma nodded vigorously. He didn't dare open his mouth again, lest his
jaw become disjointed.
"Is good! Shampoo like what Ranma wearing, too!" Shampoo returned the
compliment. /*Though I'd much rather see you out of it,*/ she giggled
inwardly and evilly as the perverse thought snapped through her mind.
Ranma offered his arm to Shampoo. "Shall we go?" he asked, managing to
keep his tongue under control. Shampoo giggled cutely and they started
walking to the Ma Maison for the date.
"That womanizer Ranma!" Mouse growled, rushing through the Nekohanten
at full tilt. "How dare you go out with my love. Saotome! DIEEEE--!"
*DOK*
Cologne returned her staff to her side and opened a package of new
chopsticks. "Mousse, go fetch your toothbrush and utilize it to clean out
the ovens," she told the floored but recovering Mousse.
-====||====-
The evening was clear and above the city of Tokyo, the jewel-encrusted
sky casting its brilliance upon Ranma and Shampoo. Ranma had enjoyed
himself, despite his misgivings about going on a date, and the intense
feeling of being watched.
Shampoo felt it too, and it unnerved her more than it did Ranma.
/*That had better not be that spatula-girl or the no-good psycho-girl,*/
thought the Amazon bitterly. She half smirked at the thought of her
bonborii hidden on her person.
-====||====-
"*HAA-CHOO!!* *HAA-CHOO!!* gurrr," Ukyou moaned as she lay in bed
feeling absolutely terrible. "Man, I hade de flu. *snuuurk*" She snuffed
up the phlegm from her running nose. Running, hell, it was sprinting the
400 meter dash! She ripped out a tissue and cleared her nose. Letting out
a pained groan from sore muscles protesting the movement, Ukyou flopped
back down on her futon and pulled the comforter over herself again, curled
up and dozed off.
-====||====-
Kodachi was peacefully sleeping on the floor of her laboratory. The
remains of waxed paper lay next to her, and a trail of fine powder was
dusted over her form.
-=<oo>=-
Rewind to a few minutes earlier. Kodachi was wide awake and in her
usual crafty mood. "Careful now..." she reminded herself softly. "...one
tap at a time..."
After several taps, her powdery concoction lay within a crease on the
wax paper. Kodachi smiled to herself. "My strongest concoction yet," she
purred, gazing at her powder. "My new sleeping powder... Thirteen thousand
times more potent... Just the thing for that purple-haired Chinese hussy
going after my Ranma-sama." She felt a giggle forming within her throat.
"*snicker* HOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO--Ah..Ah..*ATCHOO!*"
Her whole body jerked with the sneeze, sending the powder up in a thin
cloud of the drug. Unfortunately for Kodachi, she had just finished
sneezing, and thus was automatically breathing in a breath of air...and
her New and Improved Kurobara (tm) Sleeping Powder along with it.
Very quickly, she realized what had happened, and she was already
beginning to feel drowsy. "My love, I'm afraid I'll... be a bit...
tardy..." she managed mutter, and then promptly collapsed into a blissful
snooze on the laboratory floor.
-====||====-
After eating dinner, Ranma and Shampoo walked back to the Nekohanten.
Shampoo was feeling mighty miffed. All of her feminine wiles and playing
footsies with Ranma had turned out to be ineffective. /*Well, I guess it's
time to put away the subtlety and go straight to the seduction.*/ She
began by snuggling up to Ranma and prepared to ask her date in a low
seductive voice...
She then felt a pair of eyes on her, the unseen gaze's icy chill
caressing her spine. She shuddered, whipping her head around to locate it
source.
"Hold, knave!" came a voice that Ranma had been hoping not to hear for
a long time. Not that he expected not to hear it for some time, just hoped
he didn't. It was Kunou the Wonder Baka. The Kendoist was about to dumb
off again, "How dare you insult the noble Akane by dating with this
Chinese barbarianess!"
"Listen, Kunou... I--"
Shampoo snarled at the slur. /*He...will...die.*/ She pulled the
scimitar out from under the fold of her dress (don't ask me how she hid it
under there; you don't wanna know, and I don't wanna tell you. :) and
lopped the deranged Kendoist's pointed stick off near the hilt.
"Shampoo and husband go out on date," Shampoo ground out, her eyes
burning with anger. "Stupid stick-boy interrupt us; stick-boy now get used
as Shampoo's Lorraine Bobbit Maneuver practice dummy!"
Kunou made a sharp, nervous swallow as Ranma's eyes bugged out and
dangled his hands protectively over a certain part of his body. Kunou
screwed up his insurmountable courage and confronted the Amazon, "You
would not dare to threaten the mighty Kunou Tatewaki with castra--*eep!*"
He paused, squeaking, as he suddenly felt something cold and metallic
on his unit. Kunou looked down to see it was Shampoo's scimitar that gave
him that particular sensation. Unfortunately for Kunou, it was edge-up. A
flick from Shampoo's wrist, and he'd be singing soprano again.
The scion of the House Kunou looked back at the woman who was holding
his family jewels hostage. Shampoo smiled evilly, a look that answered his
unfinished question, 'Wouldn't I?' and gave the scimitar a slight nudge
up. Kunou let out another squeak and went on tiptoes, all with a very
nervous look on his face.
"You go now to home and be with you's loony sister. Straight home, is
okay?" Shampoo asked, still smiling. Kunou nodded. Shampoo lowered her
wrist a little, allowing Kunou to step back and run for it. Normally,
Kunou would use this opportunity to step back and shoot off at the mouth
again, but a more disused part of his brain, the intellect, told him it
would be wise to just get the heck out of Dodge, and so he did.
You just have to hit the guy with the right arguments to get him to
leave under his own power.
Shampoo disappeared the scimitar to wherever the heck she pulled it
from and turned to resume her date with Ranma. Except that Ranma was
nowhere to be found. "Now, Ranma, we go...huh?" she got out before
noticing the anomalous empty space next to her.
"You would not dare to threaten the mighty Kunou Tatewaki with
castra--*eep!*"
Seeing a scimitar about to do violence to someone else's manhood,
Ranma *eep*ed, his hair standing straight up and his eyes bugging out to
the size of serving-plates. /*Warp speed now, Mr. Sulu...*/ he thought and
disappeared, leaving a Ranma-shaped cloud behind that dissipated. One does
not f*** with a sword-wielding Bobbit-wannabe.
"Ranma?" the Amazon tentatively asked. She sighed in disappointment.
/*So close!*/ she thought irately. She raised her hand and held her index
finger and thumb a centimeter apart and finished the thought, /*I was THIS
close to getting him in the sack!*/ With nothing better to do, she
reluctantly trudged back toward the Nekohanten.
She felt a tap on her shoulder. She froze, then beamed as she thought
that Ranma had come back. This could go right yet! "RANMA!" Shampoo
squealed. She wheeled to face him...
...except that it WASN'T Ranma at all. It was a tall man with orange
hair and a dirty mac standing more than two feet over her. Shampoo didn't
know his name, but she certainly knew his face.
"YOU!!" Shampoo snarled, whipping out her two bonborii. "You smash
Shampoo's bike! Shampoo smash you! KUROSU!!!"
"The master wants you unharmed," Wilhelm said matter-of-factly, and
popped a bag-balloon in front of her. A dusty cloud of powder puffed out
of the tattered paper, right into the girl's face, causing her to inhale
the powder, and was sent into a hacking fit.
Shampoo felt her purple-haired head start to spin like a top. Dizzy,
she swayed drunkenly. "Shampoo...no...feel...good... drugged..." the
purple-haired bombshell managed to murmur before she slumped in an
involuntary nap into Wilhelm's arms...
Head still doing multiple three-sixties, Shampoo regained
consciousness. Shifting a little, she let out a small moan, fighting the
grogginess and a headache. She remembered encountering a man with a beard,
the same man that smashed her bike this afternoon!
Shampoo bolted up straight, but was immediately rewarded with what
felt like the stab of an icepick through her head. She returned to her
back, and this time lifted herself slowly to the upright position. This
time, she only had the dull pain of her aggravated headache.
"Uhhh, Shampoo feel have little man with spear in head," she groaned.
"Ah, finally awake," said someone. Shampoo looked to that someone, and
saw a blond-haired man with longish, ill-kept hair, leather jacket with
chains, buttons and other assortments of riffraff. It made him look like
he belonged in a heavy metal band.
"Who you?! What you want with Shampoo?!" the Amazon snarled at him.
"I, m'dear, am Calvin Nostradamus Hobbes," he stated. Bowing, he
smiled at his 'guest', "As to what I want with you? Well, I've been
watching you for quite some time now, and I deem you worthy."
"Worthy?" Shampoo echoed quizzically. "What Shampoo worthy for?"
Something about his manner of saying that particular word made her neck
hairs stand on end.
"You'll know soon enough..." Calvin intoned mysteriously. Suddenly, he
rushed Shampoo. Shampoo pulled out her bonborii to defend herself.
-====||====-
Mousse finally finished his slave labor for the night, an amazing feat
in itself. Now he was out to pursue his love. Walking off the soreness in
his muscles from having to clean the ovens with his own toothbrush, he
decided to take care of buying himself a new toothbrush.
Slipping the new plastic oral care aid into his substantial pockets,
he decided to start searching for his love...
-====||====-
Those eyes! The man's eyes were headlights and Shampoo was a deer
caught in their glare. Try as she would, she could not move...could not
break away from that unnatural gaze.
Shampoo was in a frozen panic. /*What the hell?!*/ her mute mind
screamed, /*One minute, I'm beating the living snot out of this creep; the
next, I'm frozen solid!*/ She could only watch as her opponent calmly
wiped a bit of blood away from a split lip, still holding her with his
eyes.
"*Drop them,*" the man (or was it a man?) commanded softly. Shampoo
heard a thump, and she realized that it was the sound of her bonborii
hitting the floor. The man grinned in satisfaction as he rubbed at his
slightly injured arm, one of many injuries that Shampoo managed to inflict
on his person before catching her with the serpent's eyes. "You're good.
Excellent even. It seems I've chosen well."
Shampoo could manage only the slightest of gasps when the man revealed
himself to be anything but. His canines were now fangs, marking this
so-called 'man' a vampire.
The vampire stepped up to her, still holding Shampoo with his eyes.
One hand went to gently touch her face, nudging her cheek and forcing the
Amazon to bare her neck to him. The vampire took one last look at
Shampoo's lovely brown eyes before he would commence.
"Prepare yourself for the Dark Side, Shampoo!"
With a blur of movement, the vampire lunged. There was a brief moment
when his eyes broke contact with hers, but it was nowhere near long enough
for her to do anything about it. Not before the vampire's fangs pierced
her throat.
The sharpness of vampiric fangs stung her, causing her to jerk with
the pain. But the pain was quickly washed away with the most potent
pleasure she had ever felt. It was distilled enjoyment, concentrated
orgasm, and more! It was better than chocolate. Better than Ranma. Better
than a poke in the eye. Better than certain private activities best left
in a lemon. :)~ It...it was better than Christmas! Shampoo sighed
drunkenly, wrapping her arms around the vampire's torso and silently
begged him to continue.
Minutes stretched into eternity as the pleasure flowed into her as if
to replace the blood stolen. It could not last, however, and eventually
her head started spinning. Shampoo gasped for air, short of breath, and
her entire body felt as if it was lead. And the pleasure kept coming, yet
could not aerate her.
Shampoo's muscles ached, giving out as she went limp, her head rolling
back, too heavy to support. Held up only by the vampire's embrace, her
vision dimmed and eventually went dark. Her last effort was letting out a
final sigh of farewell and closing her eyes. The cold hand of death
enveloped her...
/*Bie Liao... Ranma... great-grandmother... mou......*/
The cold hand became a searing flame consuming her to ash and branding
her soul. Vorpal claws rended her flesh a thousand times a moment.
Hypnotic lights became a dazzling performance plunging her into madness.
She tried to scream, scream for all she was worth and never stop, but
it was for naught. A spined bed rocketed her back through the depths that
she had fallen in death. Miles of nerves flared to life, announcing their
existences in a way that could not be ignored. She tried to throw herself
off the bed of spines, but they have impaled every square centimeter of
her skin straight through to its opposing side.
Her soul sent through the torturous experience of the Becoming...
-=<oo>=-
Shampoo awoke with a start. That memory had not resurfaced in a long,
long time. Her Embrace, the moment she became Kindred. The moment after
which she would never be the same. Undead.
Undeath...death arrested with the power of the Blood. It was the state
of being between true life and true death. Dead, but not dead. A paradox
in terms. Indeed, there was a well known paradox among the Kindred: It is
often said that one never appreciated life until after their Embrace. Not
able to enjoy life until they died.
The Kindred's life was paradox. Struggling to maintain Humanity by
feeding their Beasts. Giving themselves over to stay in control. To be
kings and queens of the world, yet unknown to their subjects. The Kindred
are human born, yet were not.
The mantra summarizing everything that it meant to be Kindred, their
biggest paradox, was the one that Shampoo's mind returned to more often
than she cared to, /*'Monsters we are, lest monsters we become...'*/
Shampoo decided to cut the reminiscence bullshit and get the fuck out
of the dirt.
-====||====-
*bleeeep*
*bleeeep*
*bleee--* *click*
"Moshi-moshi," Ranma said into the receiver, sounding a little tired.
After a second, he frowned and grumbled, "What is it this time, Pop?"
---/--/---
"Ranma-kun, you wouldn't happen to know where your mother is, do you?"
Genma asked, trying to put as much concern into his voice as he could.
/*After all, I haven't had dinner yet, and I'm hungry,*/ he thought, but
did not say, trying to keep _some_ illusion of genuine concern.
//No, I don't. When's the last time you saw or heard from her?// Ranma
asked over the phone.
"I haven't heard from her since I called home this morning," Genma
replied.
//....//
"Ranma?"
//YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU WERE EXPECTING MOM TO PAY OFF YOUR BAR
TAB??!!? AND SHE DIDN'T ARRIVE?!?!!!// came the booming voice from the
earpiece. Genma shook out his head and continued to listen as best he
could. //POP! HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS SOONER!!?!!//
Genma swallowed. "eheh. Son, I'll just take a looksee around the house
and find her..."
//POP! DON'T YOU DARE HA--// *click*
---/--/---
"BASTARD!!" barked a very irate martial artist, as he stared balefully
at the phone. He never thought that he could do any real damage to his
father from over here, but there was always hope.
It was then that Akane stepped in from the kitchen. "Was that my
no-good father-in-law on the phone?" she asked.
"Who else?" Ranma replaced the phone back onto its hook. "It turns out
that Mom was _supposed_ to fetch those two last night but she never showed
up." Ranma sighed. "It's only NOW that Pops told me."
Akane closed her eyes and groaned in disbelieving resignation. "That's
Saotome-ojisan for you..."
"I'm going to call around and find out if anyone has seen her." Ranma
turned back to the phone and started his quest.
Shampoo removed her ear from the thin partition between sections of
the house. Her eyebrows creased with worry. Because she was in the know,
Shampoo had a good guess to what had happened to Ranma's mother. Whatever
the Sabbat had was going to do to Saotome Nodoka, it was going to be very
evil.
"So," she finally whispered to herself, "The hunt begins..."
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
---------------------
## ## ## ## ####### ## ## AKA Tom Jefferys, Time Lord for Hire
## ## # # ## ## ### ### "Have TARDIS; Will Travel."
## # ## ### ##### ## # ## Wielder of ANVIL and SPAM!
### ### # ## ## ## ## [ Will code for food! ]
## ## ### ### ## ## ##_of_UT haunts <wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>
"Don't make deals with Dark Lords."
-- Wyrm's 34th Law (Inverse's Law)