Subject: [FFML] [AMGish][Silly Anime Romp] A Brief Bit of Insanity 3
From: "Mark Davis" <nausicaa@sprynet.com>
Date: 1/4/2000, 10:49 AM
To: "Fanfic Mailing List" <ffml@fanfic.com>



A Brief Bit Of Insanity
Miko / M A Davis
Sort of original, sort of AMG, sort of other stuff
A strange anime romp, in seven short acts.

Act III:  Know Your Goddess

        "I still think it's funny," Shawn said.

        "It's not funny," Keichi and Jordan said together.

        The four friends and the very reluctant goddess were
seated at a table in the Carl's Jr. restaurant, for lack of a better
place to go.  It was dark and cold outside, and had started to
rain.  Meanwhile, Keichi, Shawn and Kit had ordered more
food.  Keichi apparently hadn't eaten in a while, Kit was one of
those annoying people who could eat all day and not get fat,
and Shawn, despite his size, was afraid he'd starve as soon as
the restaurant shut down for the night.

        "But it is funny!" Shawn insisted.  "I mean, to say, 'I wish
for a goddess like Keichi Morasato to live with me forever.'
It's priceless!"

        "You know," Marika said thoughtfully, "she looks exactly
like Keichi Morasato in that 'Miss Keichi' episode.  You know,
where he got into Urd's medicine and grew really long hair and
breasts, and then Belldandy and Skuld dressed him up?"

        "Aces!  You're right!" Kit exclaimed.

        Keichi blinked.  "How do you know about that?" she
asked.

        "It's an episode in the manga," Marika said.  "Volume
Eight I think... can't remember for sure.  Anyway I've got all
the Japanese volumes, and the Dark Horse translations too."

        Keichi stared at her, completely mystified.  "Manga?" she
asked.  "Translations?"

        "Okay, okay," Shawn said, "but that Keichi wasn't really
female.  So, what about this one?  Are you female, or not?"

        "I'm... uh," Keichi said, looking uncomfortable.  "I am...
well, a goddess, I guess.  Although it wasn't really my idea...."
She glared at Jordan angrily.

        "Yes," Shawn persisted, "but are you a male goddess, or a
female goddess?"

        "Don't be stupid," Marika said.  "Goddesses are always
female!  A male goddess isn't a goddess, he's a god."

        "Well sure," Kit said, "But the real Keichi Morasato was a
dude, right?"

        Keichi looked even more uncomfortable.

        "Yes, but the real Keichi Morasato isn't a goddess,"
Jordan said.

        "What are you two talking about?" Shawn said.  "There is
no 'real Keichi Morasato'.  He's just an anime character, for
god's sake!"

        "Hold it, hold it!" Keichi said, standing up.  "Let's get one
thing straight.  I am the real Keichi Morasato.  I didn't ask to be
turned into a goddess, okay?  And, to answer your question,
yes, I am a guy, or at least, I was until a few minutes ago, and
yes, goddesses are always female."

        "So you're a girl then?" Shawn persisted.

        "Dude, he like said he was a goddess, and that all of them
were female...."

        "I'd rather not talk about it," Keichi said, sitting back
down.  "It's kind of embarrassing."

        "I feel for you, dude," Kit said.  "It must suck to be a
chick.  I mean, if you're a babe, then that's okay, but if you're a
dude, and then suddenly you're this girl... well, that's
completely bogus."

        Keichi stared at Kit for a moment, then glanced back at
the others.

        "Is he for real?" Keichi asked.

        "Unfortunately, yes," Marika replied.

        "I mean it," Kit continued.  "If you ever need anyone to
talk to, I'm here for you."

        "Oh god," Marika said, "now he's hitting on her."

        "Kit, knock it off," Jordan said.

        "What?  All I'm saying is, if she needs a shoulder to cry
on...."

        "I'm not a girl!" Keichi said.  She glanced down at herself,
and added, "What I mean is, this is only temporary, right?
These things always happen to me, but eventually we'll get this
straightened out...."

        "Anyway," Shawn said, "she's supposed to be Jordan's
goddess, right?  So if she's going to cuddle up to anyone it'll be
Jordan, I think...."

        Keichi looked horrified.  "I'm not going to cuddle up to
any guy, okay?  This is just some horrible mistake.  We'll get it
fixed...."

        "Fine by me," Jordan said.  "Obviously, my heart's desire
was not to have a fictional male become my personal
goddess..."

        "Could I just interject to say, once again, that I'm not
fictional?" Keichi said.

        "...My only desire, at the moment," Jordan continued, "is
to get my car fixed."

        Keichi blinked.

        "You need your car fixed?" she said.

        "Yeah," Kit said.  "it was, like, belching smoke and stuff."

        "Well," Keichi said, getting up.   "Why didn't you say so?
If there's anything I can help you with, it's car troubles!"

***

        The shoes were of brown suede leather, with decorative
stitching on the sides and two straps held on by gold buckles.
The socks were white with lace trim, turned down so that the
lace brushed the top of the shoes.  The long skirt covered most
of the legs, although part of a bare ankle could be seen, along
with a bit of white satin and lace slip, exposed where the hem
of the dress had been pulled up.

        The rest of the girl's body was hidden beneath Jordan's red
Toyota Tercell.

        "Could you hand me a screwdriver?" the girl called out.
She held out her hand.  "A small one, phillip's," she added.
Jordan didn't move, but the requested tool appeared in the girl's
hand.  "Thanks," she replied, as the hand disappeared.

        "You know, when you said you were going to fix my car,"
Jordan said, "I didn't think you were going to actually climb
under it with a bunch of tools."

        "How else would I fix it?" the girl replied.  Her hand shot
out again.  "Crescent wrench, 8 mm I think," she demanded.
Magically, the item appeared in her hand.

        "Well," Jordan said, "I sort of thought you might wave
your hands around and recite a rhyme or two, or something.
Like Belldandy does."

        The metallic clang of a wrench slipping was followed by
some very unladylike cursing.  The hand shot out again.

        "I need a smaller wrench," she said.  "Actually, if you've
got an adjustable wrench, that'd be great!"

        The requested wrench appeared in her hand.

        "Anyway," she said, "I've never been a goddess before, so
I don't have the first clue how to do magic."

        "If you say so," Jordan replied.  "Still, it seems weird
having a goddess checking my engine out like a common
mechanic...."

        The girl known as Keichi pulled herself out from under
the car.  She had grease smeared across her face and arms, and
her elaborate blouse and long skirt were both torn and stained.
Jordan shifted uncomfortably, well aware that he and his
friends were letting the best-dressed person in the group do all
of the dirty work.

        Keichi flashed a grin.

        "I am a mechanic," she said.  "You turned me into a
goddess.  I didn't ask for the job, and I don't know how to do
any of that magic stuff.  Maybe if you'd thought to include an
owner's manual or something.  Anyway, this is more fun.  I
haven't worked on a Tercell in a while."

        She disappeared beneath the car once again, but her
muffled voice floating out from below:

        "It's not a big problem, just a broken radiator hose.  You're
low on oil too, and you could use a new filter.  If there's a car
parts store nearby I can fix it in no time."

        Jordan nodded.  "I talked to a parts store earlier.  I think
they're still open.  Hang on, let me call them."



        An hour later, Keichi closed the hood of the car, crossed
her arms, and smiled in satisfaction.

        "That should do it," she said.  "I told you it was simple to
fix."

        "Good," Marika said.  "We were supposed to check in at
the lodge hours ago."

        �Dude,� Kit said to Keichi, �are you coming with us, or
not?�

        "I don't think I have a choice," Keichi replied, looking
uncomfortable.  "The contract between us means that I can
never be too far from Jordan."  She grimaced.  "It's really
inconvenient, if you ask me.  I mean, I love Belldandy, whereas
I'm not going to fall for Jordan.  Ever."

        "Fine with me," Jordan muttered.  "Having you show up
was hardly my heart's desire.  Just my luck to have my wish
granted by an incompetent goddess."

        Kit was inspecting something he'd found on the ground.
"Whoah, dude, check this out!" he exclaimed.  "It says, 'Keichi
Morosato, goddess 4th class, extremely limited and in
training.'"  He glanced up.  "It looks real official, too, so it must
be the real thing.  Is 4th class the bottom of the heap, then?"

        �Hey!� Keichi exclaimed, snatching the card away.
�That�s mine!�  She stared at it a moment, then stuffed it down
the front of her blouse.

        "As for your question� I've got no idea," she said.
"Probably.  I can�t imagine any goddess being less trained or
less competent than me.  Not that it's any of your business."

        She glanced down at herself and sighed.  "I really did a
number on this outfit," she said.  "Has the restaurant closed
yet?  I'd really like to clean up a little before we go...."

        "Dude, just snap your fingers and make it go away," Kit
said.

        "What did I just tell you?� Keichi said.  "I don�t know
how!  Maybe if Belldandy were here, she could teach me...."

        "I've been thinking about that," Shawn said.  "What if
Belldandy doesn't really exist?"

        Keichi stared at the massive member of the group for
several long moments.

        "What are you talking about?" the girl exclaimed.  "I was
with her only a few hours ago!  Of course she exists!"

        Shawn nodded his head vigorously.  "In your reality, of
course," he said.  "But in our reality, you and Belldandy and
everyone else you know are just part of a work of fiction
created by Kyosuke Fujishima."

        "Never heard of him," Keichi said.

        "I was just thinking," Shawn said, "that, while you think
that you're Keichi Morosato, and you have all of his memories,
that you might still have been created on the spot when Jordan
made his wish... that your past isn't real, and only exists in your
head."

        "Don't be ridiculous," Keichi said, getting angry.  "You
can't tell me that Belldandy and Urd and Skuld and my sister
Megumi don't even exist!  That's absurd!"

        Shawn shrugged his massive shoulders.  "It's just a
theory," he said.  "It's one possibility.  But it would explain
why you're speaking perfect English, rather than Japanese."

        "I am?" Keichi asked, surprised.  She thought about it a
moment, then added, "what do you know!  I am!  I hadn't even
noticed!"

        Then she shook her head.  "Still, that proves nothing.  I
know my Belldandy exists, and she'll be showing up soon.
After all, she's tied to me as much as I'm tied to Jordan."

        As if on cue, a white mist spilled out of the car's side
mirror and took on the shape of a girl.  Moments later, the
goddess Belldandy stood before them.  She had the familiar
long brown hair, tied back and cascading over her shoulders
and down her back.  She wore one of her typical stylish outfits,
a dress in blue, white and sea green with multiple layers, a
wide, pleated skirt, and large brass buttons and buckles that
served more as decoration than anything.  She glanced about,
taking in the four friends, their car, the restaurant, and the
grease-covered goddess who was, technically, her mortal
boyfriend.

        "Oh, my!" she exclaimed.  "Keichi, what have they done
to you?"


*To be continued tomorrow*
And no, not every act ends with a goddess showing up!  =P








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