[Andrew and Ruri are setting up Christmas decorations in the MSTing
theatre, while the Buffy The Vampire Slayer soundtrack album plays in the
background. Suddenly, Ruri looks toward the screen.]
Brian: Hmm...Christmas...and Buffy. Connection?
Natsumi: Unless the Grinch is a demon.
Ruri: None, really.
(Note: I really like Buffy, 'Drew, so don't take that too literally!)
Andrew: I know. I've seen your .sig.
Ruri: Ah. He's done a chapter.
Andrew: Who?
Ruri: Brian Yaple. Destiny's Path's finally getting going.
Andrew (Grins): Well, looks like I've got an early Christmas present.
Nicole:<holds a Flare Arrow to Brian's head> Put me in an elf costume and
you die!
Brian: Ah-heh. <sweatdrop>
Ruri: Didn't Warhammer want to know whether he'd replied to his letter
yet?
Andrew: Yeah, he did. Brian, you didn't reply when I asked that.
Anyway,
Ruri-ruri, can you arrange some guests?
Brian: Ruri-ruri???
Ruri: Some characters call me that in the TV series. And you still
haven't answered Andrew's question about whether you wrote to WH.
Ruri: Already done it.
Andrew: Wow, that was quick.
[There is a flash of light, and a fifteen-year-old boy with brown hair in
a
long ponytail appears]
Ruri: This is Duo Maxwell, pilot of Gundam Deathscythe Hell.
Duo: [Grinning] Hi! Pleased to be here!
Ruri: And, for our second guest...
[A much-older-than-he-looks, but still VERY attractive to the female
audience, man, dressed entirely in black, steps out of the shadows]
Andrew: Geez, really in "morbid bishonen" mode today, aren't we?
[Angel glances derisively at Andrew]
Brian: <gets out his "50-million-Angel-jokes" book, then thinks about who
he's dealing with, and puts it away>
Angel: Smart.
Andrew: ...the Nerilians arrived on Earth! [STOMP!]
Duo [From inside Shinigami]: Wrong series, man!
Brian: On that note, during the homestretch of writing this thing, my
muse delivered to me...
Nicole: ...via a meteor landing on his head...
Brian: AHEM! <mallets Nicole> Anyway, I got a couple of ideas for Battle
Athletes stories. The only couple of problems are: both stories would
require considerable backstories or spoiler protection for other stories
set in my timeline, and...well...
Nicole: The other problem entails using another author's characters or
species settings.
Andrew: You willing to tell me?
Brian: Thanks, Nicole.
Nicole: <Fireballs Brian> Anytime. :-)
-SNIP-
Andrew: As well as several demonic spiders inside!
Angel: Careful. Your neck's bare, remember.
Brian: I thought they went after faces?
Giles (popping in): Demonic spiders do. Vampires, on the other hand...
Duo: Hey, Angel, I bet you can identify with that one too, right?
Angel: That from someone who constantly talks about how his opponents
are
going to hell.
Yui: Ain't gonna touch that one.
Duo/Angel: Good idea.
Duo: Geez, who'da thought? The thing's got a Zero System.
Ruri: Well, not quite...
Brian: Wait till you see what I do later. <EG>
Andrew: Uh-oh...
Andrew: Not hard. Say there's a guy who looks like her sempai. It'll
probably be true, too.
Brian: Remember the prolouges (which will be revised and re-released when
I have time for them)? She's scared of heights. (Very understandable,
too.)
Andrew: I think the sempai thing would still work, though. [WHACK!!!] Only
kidding! Geez...
Duo: Yeah, have to make time for the speeches.
Nicole: And what's wrong with the speeches. <pulls out her katana>
Duo: Nothing, nothing at all!
Andrew: And what was Rei doing so far ahead?
Duo [In Gundam Deathscythe Hell's cockpit]: May I?
Angel/Ruri: Yes.
[SLASH!]
Brian: Ouch. Not a Mars fan, I take it?
Duo: That wasn't REI I was swinging at.
Duo: [on comms] Anyone who sees me must die!
Ruri: They're not talking to you.
Duo: Sorry. Reflex.
Brian: I suddenly can't wait for Gundam Wing to air in spring.
Andrew: I reckon you'll like it.
[Angel glares at Andrew]
Andrew: Okay, no jokes!
[Xander pops in]
Xander: I liked that show! Appropriate name for the bad guys!
[Angel glares at Xander, who runs out]
Nicole: <tosses a few Flare Arrows at Xander> Gutton for punishment,
aren't ya?
Xander: I am not a glutton - I often ask for more than my fair share, I
occasionally overindulge, but I am not a glutton.
Brian: He gets enough from Cordy and Anya.
Andrew: Geez, why would anyone not like Shinji during EoE?
Yui: WHAT WAS THAT!?!
Nicole: Geez, calm down, Yui!
[Andrew bigsweats]
Duo: Because everyone knows teenagers make the best mech pilots! Geez,
hasn't she seen ANY Gundam?
Nicole: For the sake of peaceful relations, I am not gonna touch that.
<under her breath> Mega Flare.
<Duo is suddenly toasted by a massive energy bolt>
<Everyone looks at Nicole, who whistles innocently>
Brian: Et tu, Nicole?
Singed Duo: Just you wait, Nicole...
Andrew: Well, he responded. He's doing better than in the movie.
Yui: That's my dad, always morbid.
Andrew: Ah, nothing compared to Angel for 98 years after that curse...
Angel: But the way you're going, I may forget that my soul's back.
Andrew: Gomen.
Duo: Of course, since we've got a guy who spent 98 years like that
here...
Angel: You talk too much.
Duo: Yeah, Hiiro tells me that. [Wistfully] Ah, Hiiro-san...
Angel/Andrew: [Sweatdrop]
Ruri: Well, given the relationships we've seen in your fics, Andrew, the
boys aren't gonna have many options.
Brian: True elsewhere, I guess.
Duo: Well, at least *I'm* used to being put in yaoi fics... and dojinshi.
Andrew: Since all the NERV like iceskating.
Nicole: On reeeeeealy thin ice.
Duo: Okay, revenge time! [Slashes Nicole with his Gundam's energy scythe]
Duo: Good luck trying to shoot that mecha, pal.
Brian: Last time I checked my fansub, the UN had brought hoverships.
Andrew: Yeah... I only watched EoE once, about nine months ago.
Duo: Hey, Angel, what does "lucky" taste like?
Everyone: <mallets Duo for the bad joke>
Duo: Well, he'd know, wouldn't he?
Duo: Geez, lucky that thing was just steel and not Gundarium or
something.
Brian: I think it was made of more than steel. Remember *what* was on
the other side.
Duo: Well, you SAID it was steel.
Ruri: I suggest you use the word "metal" instead.
Duo: Geez, sabers are so boring! Gimme a scythe any day.
<Duo suddenly finds three swords (two steel, one energy) against his neck>
Nicole, Yui, and Natsumi (Jade Iczelion): Wanna say that again?
Duo: Sure, as soon as I'm in Shinigami!
Brian: <Sweatdrop>
Duo: Hiiro's mine, slimeball!
Ruri: Wrong Yui.
Brian: <Shampoo voice> No get joke.
Ruri: Duo refers to Hiiro Yui, the pilot of Gundam Wing. The two are
believed share a yaoi relationship in many fan works.
Ruri: Gee, you finally figured that much out.
Natsumi: I *would* say "look who's talking", but I'm being nice, so I
won't.
Ruri: Unlike Ayanami, I have always been capable of thinking for myself,
and do not simply follow orders because I am told to.
Nicole: <deadpan> You just did.
Natsumi: D'OH!!
Ruri: Baka.
Andrew [Saturn]: Do we HAVE to?
Brian: 'Fraid so. He needed in the next few stories, THEN, he'll die.
Nicole: It'll be a messy death, we assure you.
Andrew: I eagerly await it.
Ruri: You're mean.
Andrew: Am I?
Ruri: Yes.
Andrew: Yeah, stick it to him! [Cheers]
Ruri: In case you couldn't tell, he's a Setsuna fan.
Everyone: Gee, REALLY!?!
Ruri: Really.
Duo: And that's something that should've been done to Shinji a long time
ago.
Yui: WHAT WAS THAT?!?!? <Pulls out her sword>
Brian: <pulls a lever>
<A giant Deathscythe Hell plushie falls on Yui, crushing her flat.>
Nicole: <blinks> Where the heck did you get that thing??
Andrew: I'd lay bets on mail order from BanDai.
Brian: <deadpan> Sore wa, hitmitsu desu.
Nicole, Natsumi: <facefault>
Ruri: You're mean.
Duo: [sighs] Yeah, guess I am.
Ruri: Either change the full stop to a comma or capitalise the W.
Nicole: <yanks Akane's mallet out of her hands and hits Brian with it>
HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT!?!
Brian: <pancake> It was late, sue me!
Nabiki [pops in]: You SURE that's what you want?
Andrew: I don't suppose this "Sayoko" happens to be the one from Fight!
Iczer-One, does she?
Brian: <deadpan> Sore wa, hitmitsu desu.
Ruri [Deadpan, as usual]: Ah, sou.
All: <Grumble about a certain NERV commander>
Nicole: Have a little patience, people!
Duo: I am being patient! I AM being patient, you hear me?
Andrew: The Slayer? [Angel whacks him] Hey, I don't remember ever
seeing
Buffy's dad turn up in the TV series!
Brian: <hands Angel a mallet> Nope. Hint: remember what her name was in
"The Wedding" Part 3?
Andrew: I'm aware of that... I was just making a joke.
Plus, SEELE ups the ante
with a Eva attack in space. Who will survive in the cold depths of the
unknown? Next time: "Revelations of Dark and Light/Eva Attack!" the
next
story in the Destiny's Path series!
Andrew: Hope it's out soon!
Brian: Let's see...between that, several million other ideas, my job,
watching my new Christmas present tapes, and playing Star Ocean: The 2nd
Story...I'd say...sometime before Y3K.
Nicole: <blinks, then mallets Brian> That...was bad.
[All join in the Brian-whackage]
Brian: Thanks, Andrew!!
Andrew: No worries!
Nicole: Ja ne!!
<From out of nowhere, fruitcakes fall from the ceiling, KO'ing the
reviewers>
Andrew: I presume these are the same fruitcakes as in the DP Xmas
special... BTW, I've lost my copy of that - could you send it to me? Thanks.
All: BYE!
[Fade out]
________________________________________________________________
Andrew Dynon
"Humiliation is nothing to be ashamed of."
- Justy Ueki Tylor
"Stories have to be told to exist. They exist in the telling and retelling."
- Itzhak Roeh