I'm doing this as a break from Fakes, because of the troubles I've been
having with it. (I start work on one of the three, four scenes left
unfinished and I get told to get off the computer I'm working on.) Anyways,
this is most definitely lime (sexual situations), and if anyone wants to
supply the missing lemon scenes...well, first dibs goes to my prereaders.
Oh, yeah, and happy new year all!
Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers, and they needn't bother suing as I'm broke
due to the fact that I'm addicted to the series.
Compromising Positions
By Ryo Hoshi
Position 1: Starting Position
It had been a long and not-fun day on the road for Amelia. True, it
*could* have been worse -- Mr. Xelloss could have chosen to hung around them,
instead of Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry. (A small voice unkindly suggested he
did that because Miss Lina was, on the whole, a lot more interesting a person
to be around then Mr. Zelgadiss and herself.) She hadn't gotten to fight for
justice (and, the small voice added, all the treasure they could carry), too,
as it seemed obvious that (if the rumor of bandits attacking travelers along
one of the two roads was true) the bandits were on the other road. On top of
it all, she had been completely soaked by a rather sudden thunderstorm and
was only just drying off.
The clouds hadn't lifted or even gotten lighter then a very dark gray
since the thunderstorm, serving as the final touch to a perfectly bad day.
The inn they found around sunset was a small one, with an overall grubby
look to it. It was also the only one in town. If it hadn't been empty
except for those working there -- something that would have at least gotten
Zelgadiss suspicious when they entered if it hadn't had such a bad day -- it
would have been rather full of people who were (at best) in dire need of a
wash and in a few cases, it could have been argued that burial was what was
needed.
As it was, Amelia ended up sitting at the mostly abandoned bar and
actually moping while Zelgadiss found out if there were any rooms available.
The bartender pushed a drink by her hand. It was one of those 'date
drinks.' The kind of drink that tastes sweet and sugary and totally
alcohol-free while actually containing more alcohol then a shot of vodka.
Amelia took a sip, not really up to wondering why the drink had turned up,
decided she liked it, and quickly drank the rest of it.
The bartender smiled and silently refilled her glass.
To make a long story short, by the time Zelgadiss came back, Amelia was
thoroughly and completely smashed.
"Amelia?" he asked, tapping her on the shoulder just in time for her to
fall off of her stool and onto him. He sniffed her breath, and stated,
matter-of-factly, "You're drunk."
Amelia said something in very fluent drunk. (Something about her being
sober.)
Zel blinked, mentally translating the sentence. "Ah. You think you can
walk?"
Amelia said, "If the floor'll stay still." Or, at least, that's what
she said translated into English; she, of course, said it in drunk.
He sighed, and helped her up.
The stairs were something of a difficulty; she was still convinced that
she was on a ship. This, obviously, caused problems as she kept trying to
readjust her feet so that they would be on (nonexistent) stairs. Zel would
have picked her up and carried her, but she was adamant that she was fine.
Still, there were no major problems until he got her into her room.
It went like this, really:
He walked Amelia within falling distance of the bed, right beside the
door, and let go of her, expecting her to fall backwards onto the bed. In
accordance to the laws of the universe, she fell forward, sending Zel
scrambling backwards. He lost his balance and fell against the door, closing
it. Amelia contrived to somehow move forward fast enough to land on Zel.
The result was that they ended up on the floor, and Amelia had somehow
managed to get a hand into Zel's pants.
Zel was confused; he wasn't quite sure how Amelia had gotten a hand into
his pants, and what she was doing with said hand was distracting. He
protested (weakly) and stood up, lifting Amelia up as he did. Amelia took
this as the perfect time to slip her other hand up his shirt and press
herself as closely as she could to him. For the second time that night, Zel
lost his balance and they both fell down again, this time on the bed.
Amelia took this as the perfect time for a passionate kiss which drowned
out Zel's (final) protests.
Later that night -- but not too much later -- a small peephole that
looked into the room was opened quietly and inhuman eyes looked through. The
owner of the eyes watched the wildly writhing pair on the bed for a few
moments before the door covering the peephole was shut again.
Amelia woke up the next morning with a bad headache. The light hurt her
eyes, and she wished she was still asleep. She blinked a few times and tried
to roll over, but something -- an arm draped over her? -- prevented her from
doing that. She opened her eyes again, this time making an effort to focus
her eyes.
She looked straight into Zelgadiss's half-open eyes.
Needless to say, both woke up completely within seconds.
Position 2: On Guard
Amelia sat up straight with a small (and rather cute) yelp. She didn't
pull the sheet up with her, though. She quickly noticed that her top was
bare and her head really hurt. Her expression ended up as a mix of hung
over, surprised, embarrassed, confused, and hung over rapidly moving towards
shock.
Zel was understandably confused about all of this. But then, what
little time he had spent thinking once Amelia managed to get her hand into
his pants had been confused, so his still being confused isn't really worth
noting... (It also makes you suspect that I'm getting paid by the word...but
that's neither here nor there.)
"Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked after she had finally managed to cover her
chest. She, unlike Zel, didn't remember most of last night (though Zel's
memories were rather garbled), no less who started what. What she knew is
that she had woken up in bed with him, and both of them were completely
naked. That, and she didn't feel well at all.
Zel sighed as his brain started working again. It seemed like he was
stuck having to take care of her until she was at least over her hangover.
Well, he thought with a sigh, he might as well start now... "Amelia?
Please, call me Zel. It's not like..." he shrugged, not sure how to describe
what their relationship was and wasn't now other then 'very familiar.' It
wasn't like he had ever expected this to happen to him.
"Okay, mi..." Amelia paused, looked at Zelgadiss, and the continued,
"Zel."
Zelgadiss smiled. "Thank you." He felt better, for some reason.
Amelia relaxed, too, and slipped back down in the bed. Rather
automatically, she also snuggled up against Zel.
Zel waited a few seconds, listening to Amelia's breathing. He then
carefully got up and closed the curtains. He remembered what he had learned
about treating hangovers back when he was living with his aunt and her
husband, after his parents had died...
He shook his head; getting lost on memory lane wasn't what he needed to
do right now. What he needed to do is get a nice large pitcher of water for
Amelia, and perhaps something for her to eat...
He started getting dressed, still mentally going through what he was
going to do next...
Zel picked up the tray. It had on it two mugs and one gigantic pot of
coffee; the woman in charge of the kitchen had laughed at him when he had
asked for water, giving him the general impression that the local water
wasn't drunk as it was obtained. He had pondered getting some strawberries
for Amelia, so she'd have something to eat sooner, but decided against it for
the time being.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Mr. Graywords?"
He carefully put the tray back down and turned around. It was the
barkeeper. "Yes?"
"Could you do me a favor?"
"What kind of favor?"
"Oh, nothing big. Just performing a certain...task for us." The
barkeeper smiled, and Zel noticed that the barkeeper's eyes were purple, and
slit like a cat's.
"You're a mazoku!"
The barkeeper giggled; it was the kind of giggle that told you that this
person would find torturing you to death absolutely blissful. Zelgadiss felt
a sudden liking for Xelloss, whose giggle was not as informative.
"Yes, I am. Isn't that funny?" The mazoku blinked, and a slight frown
crossed his face. "I said, isn't that funny?"
Zel forced himself to laugh. "Yes, it is..." One wrong step...
"Your task is...rather simple. You should find it easy." He tilted his
head and smiled. "Just kill Lina Inverse."
"And why should I kill her for you?"
"Because, if you don't, you'll soon be seeing Amelia's mangled
remains...and guess who is going to be accused of killing her?" The mazoku's
smile got bigger as Zel realized who would be blamed. "Of course, I'll be
there to tell Phil all about how you got his poor daughter drunk, then took
her out into the forest..." The mazoku giggled. "I'll so enjoy watching his
face as I tell him all the gory details...of how you raped her and then
tortured her to death when she threatened to tell..."
"You wou-...yes, you would, wouldn't you." Zel sighed, and noted that
he had best play Mr. cool and uncaring to the best of his ability. It
wouldn't do to show just how deeply he cared for Amelia, as that'd only
increase the risk of her being used to control him...again. It would also
make it evident that him getting blamed for her death wouldn't be necessary.
"All right. I'll do it."
"You will? Oh, how wonderful! Of course, we'll be keeping the princess
here...just in case."
A few minutes earlier, Amelia was sitting in her bed, wishing she could
fall asleep again and doing her best to ignore her headache, her extremely
dry mouth, and the fact that she was sore all over, especially in certain
places she didn't really want to think about. She had decided that keeping
her eyes shut helped greatly.
The door opened softly and someone walked in. She was sure, from the
sound of the person's footsteps, that it wasn't M...Zel. "Who?" She opened
her eyes and peered into the darkness.
"Just one of the waitresses," replied a young-sounding feminine voice.
"I was sent up with something for your hangover."
"Zel?"
"Your boyfriend?"
Amelia thought for a few seconds, decided to let that description of
their relationship stand for the moment, and nodded.
"Yeah, he mentioned that you had a hangover, and well, we couldn't just
let you suffer while he figured out what you might want for breakfast..."
The woman sat down on her bed, and she got a slightly better view of the
waitress; the waitress was rather nondescript, with shoulder-length
blue-green hair and generic waitress dress, and her eyes were in the shadows.
"Here, drink this."
Amelia downed the contents of the glass. It tasted weirdly sweet and
was incredibly thick. However, she started feeling better -- and incredibly
drowsy -- immediately.
The waitress smiled, and leaned down to remove the glass from Amelia's
hand. Amelia gasped; the woman's teal eyes had slit pupils. She tried to
scream, to wake up and fight, but the grip of the drugs in the drink she had
been given were too strong. She fell asleep.
The waitress picked Amelia's sleeping form up and teleported downstairs.
"Oh?"
"Oh, yes. Wouldn't do for you to just walk away...or tell Lina..."
Another mazoku -- a female one dress as a waitress -- teleported in behind
the first one. She held Amelia in her arms.
"You better return Amelia once I've killed Lina for you or..." Zel
growled.
"Or you'll what? Plead for mercy?" The male mazoku laughed again.
"You've got three days. If Lina Inverse isn't dead by then, well..." The
horrible giggle did a repeat performance as its owner vanished, along with
the female mazoku and Amelia.
Zel sighed. He was caught. If he didn't kill Lina, he'd find himself
being accused of raping and murdering the princess. If he was lucky, Lina'd
believe him and clear his name posthumously; he doubted that he'd be able to
convince Prince Phil quickly enough that he was innocent, nor was he sure
that he'd want to even try.
If he did kill Lina, he'd first have to survive Gourry's wrath...and,
*if* he did get the princess back... On the whole, he was probably best off
killing Lina and hoping that his death would be swift. Not, on the whole, a
pleasant thought.
He left the inn, not bothering to pay as there was nobody to pay.
That night, Xelloss was doing his usual thing of watching from the
shadows. These particular shadows belonged to the fire that Lina and Gourry
were cooking fish over. It had been a rather interesting two days for them,
as Lina's mood got worse as she got more tired & hungry and the bandits still
showed no signs of attacking or even existing. This made being within
several yards of her a virtual feast for Xelloss.
He turned around just in time to see the waitress phase in behind him.
She had abandoned her waitress disguise for a sea green tunic and matching
leggings, with a blue cape completing the ensemble. "Hey, Xelloss."
"Thallasa? It's been a long time," he said, with a big smile. "What is
Deep Sea's favorite little minion doing out here?"
"Right now, Deep Sea's favorite little minion is being nice and passing
on some nice information that she's just sure your master would love to
hear," Thallasa said, with a smile of her own.
Xelloss's eyes opened. "Oh?"
"Dynast's planning something." Thallasa lifted a hand and waved it
towards where Lina was now devouring fish. "His plans also involve a certain
Saillunese princess and cute chimera. My master has ordered me to pretend to
go along with the plans, to the extent of assisting Dynast's priest. I'm to
do my best to make sure these plans ultimately fail...
"Of course, that means that I'll want your help with this. After all,
nobody knows better how to sabotage supposedly perfect plans then you."
Thallasa leaned forward with a grin.
"You flatter me." Xelloss looked Thallasa over carefully; she was
almost as tricky as he himself was and just as crazy as her master. "Why?"
"Why what?" she replied, looking innocent.
"You know very well what."
Thallasa signed. "You're no fun. Dynast plans to get rid of your
master and you after getting rid of Lina Inverse. Deep Sea and I may be
crazy, but we certainly aren't stupid..." Thallasa sighed and leaned against
a nearby tree trunk. "Getting destroyed would mess up our plans to build the
biggest theme park ever."
Xelloss developed a large sweatdrop. This one rated up there with the
time Zelas had downed several glasses of some strange drink a visiting human
had mixed and decided that she wanted to cause world peace. (Luckily, that
idea had been dropped once the effects of the drinks wore off in favor of
torturing the man who had mixed the drinks to death.)
___
Xelloss sings 'All Around My Hat':
"All around my hat, I shall wear the green ribbon
All around my hat, for a twelvemonth and a day
And if anyone should ask me the reason why I'm wearing it
I'll say 'Sore wa himitsu desu!'"