Subject: [FFML] [Ranma] A Matter of Romantic Chemistry - Part 14
From: Jack Staik
Date: 1/1/2000, 8:39 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com, rec-arts-anime-creative@cs.ubc.ca, reddeath@lvdi.net, ladytesser@aol.com, jstaik1043@earthlink.net



-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Amorc14.txt

DISCLAIMER: Whoever wrote this stinker should be shot.

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Ranma 1/2: A Matter of Romantic Chemistry - Pt. 14
By Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
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Ranma and Akane thought the Ying-Yang on her door was appropriate, and had slept peacefully and soundly after the evening's adventures. They rose together, showered and descended the stairs together that morning for breakfast. 

Kasumi was dishing out the rice as Nabiki, with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth, settled at the table as well. She looked around, seeing Ranma stuffing his face while simultaneously doting on Akane, Akane doting on him in return (Nabiki, of course, being repulsed by both), Kasumi being Kasumi (though more thoughtful), and the Old Men nursing their hangovers upstairs.

Someone was missing.

"Where's Ko-chan?" Nabiki asked.

"Still sleepin' in, I bet," Ranma replied between mouthfuls.

"She didn't come home last night," Kasumi answered. "Her bed is still not slept in."

"Humph, wonder what happened," Nabiki mused, pouring herself some orange juice. Ranko had told her that genetic testing took about ten days to come back from the labs. Meanwhile, she wanted to keep the possibility of her father being Ichiro "Pants-Dropper" Hibiki quiet.

"Isn't anyone else alarmed she isn't home?"

The front door opened and slammed, followed by a sweet humming. The teenagers all looked at each other, then stood up and poked their heads out of the dining room doorway into the foyer.

Ranko slipped her shoes off, humming dreamily to herself. 

"'You make me feel ... '" she sang softly.

Nabiki noted the wrinkled school uniform and mussed hair with a single lotus blossom tangled amid the strands.

"'You make me feel ... '"

She ascended the staircase slowly, ignoring them, lost in her own world.

"'You make me feel like a na-tur-al woman ... '"

Akane stared in silent surprise as her future sister-in-law disappeared from the landing. Nabiki met her eyes, and Kasumi stated, "Oh, my."

"What's with Ko-Chan?" Ranma asked, still sucking down a bowl of rice.

"From the evidence, I'd say she was playing doctor with the Doctor last night," Nabiki remarked.

"Playing doctor ... ?" Ranma repeated, letting it sink in. He dropped the bowl and raced up the stairs. "KO-CHAN!!!"

"How would he know about 'playing doctor,' Imouto-chan?" Nabiki asked, smiling sunnily at Akane.

"Shut up, Nabiki," Akane replied, blushing furiously.

"Oh, my," Kasumi repeated. <Ko-chan and Doctor Tofu! I knew she was attracted, but this is rather sudden ...>

 * * * * * * * * * *

Jiro-kaijuu walked out of the canal, terrifying some old woman who had been cleaning off her sidewalk. Doctor Tofu met him by the clinic with a large kettle of water.

"Good morning, Jiro-san!" Tofu said - almost sang, actually.

Jiro was not a morning person, and *anyone* who was that cheerful that early was, in his opinion, a Bad Thing. Besides, having your skull knit at unnatural speeds in the night made one cranky.

"ROAR!!"

Tofu was unmoved by the bellow, even though his hair was blown back and the windows in the clinic shook. Casually, he tossed the steaming water on the monster.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jiro replied. "Thanks, doc. I usually don't get so banged up so quickly -"

"Unusual circumstances, Jiro-san."

Jiro was finding himself more and more comfortable with his new name. He almost smiled. And not one of his usual sarcastic nasty smiles either. "Yeah. Heck, I even had this horrid dream that Nabiki Tendo was my *sister*!"

"We won't know until the blood tests come back."

"NANI?!?" Jiro cried, jumping in the air, his eyes bugging out.

"It seems to be a possibility."

"NO!! NO!! NO!!" Jiro cried, pulling on his hair and falling to his knees.

"Is something wrong, Jiro-san?"

But Jiro was running up the street, too busy to listen to questions.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Awakening in the school clock tower, Tatewaki Kuno looked over the spoils of war, his trophies of conquest.

Panties, bras, pantyhose, stockings, camisoles, leotards, negligees, et cetera. He ran his fingers through then, feeling the residue of female force strengthening him. If this was the source of Saotome's power, he thought, then it was little wonder that even the mighty Blue Thunder could defeat him! 

But soon school would begin, and the magnificent Ranko Saotome would arrive. He would display his manly might, and she would give herself to him, body and soul! (Especially body!)

<KUNO THE MAGNIFICENT stands in a heroic pose, a sack of undergarments over his shoulder, a brilliant sunbeam display behind him. RANKO, dressed in a semi-translucent harem-girl outfit, gazes at him adoringly.>
<RANKO: Oh Kuno-sempai, you impossibly-virile hunk of man! I am YOURS! Do with me as you will! Ravish me!! PLEASE!!>
<KUNO THE MAGNIFICENT: Well, if you insist ...>

[In the interest of public morals, the authors will not relate any more of this daydream.]

 * * * * * * * * * *

<BLAM!!> 

The fragments of wall showered the assembled Tendo's, who stared at the hysterical Hibiki who just burst into the house.

"NABIKI!! IT'S NOT TRUE!! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!! YAAAAAHHHHH!!"

<SLAP!!>

Jiro shook his head. "Thanks, Nabiki. I needed that."

"No problem. Sign here."

"What's that?"

"An I.O.U. for one thousand yen for services rendered."

Jiro nodded. "Shoulda known ..." 

>From upstairs, a hung-over Soun yelled out, "BE QUIET! HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE DEAD!!" The volume of his own shout caused Soun's skull to shatter (from his viewpoint) and sent him back to dreamland.

"Hi, Kasumi-chan," Jiro said casually. Kasumi giggled.

He turned to Nabiki. "Oh, Nabiki, I heard the silliest thing from Tofu-sensei. Something about a blood test -"

"Afraid so, Jiro-san." Nabiki shrugged.

Jiro jumped up in shock, his hands clutching his head, his eyes bugged out. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"It's just a possibility," Nabiki said. "It seems that Ichiro -"

"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!" Jiro screamed. "THAT BASTARD! HE'S NOT THERE MOST OF MY CHILDHOOD, AND THEN HE DOES *THIS*!! *AGAIN*!!"

"Jiro-kun," Kasumi said gently, "please calm down! Whatever the problem is, losing your temper won't help anything!"

She put her hand on his shoulder, and the anger drained from him. "Sorry, Kasumi-chan. I shouldn't let my anger erupt here." He got an innocent look on his face. "Anyone know where Good Ol' Ichiro hangs out now, do you?"

"I believe he's staying at the Saotome place in Juuban." She took out her address book and flipped through it.

Jiro snatched up the book and kissed her on the cheek. "Arigato, Kasumi-chan! I'll be back - as soon as I finish with Ichiro!"

"Jiro-kun!" Kasumi called out as Jiro ran out of the house. "Get back here!"

"Don't blame him!" Nabiki yelled. "It's not his fault you and I slept together! He might not even *be* my father!"

Nabiki suddenly remembered that there were witnesses. She turned to her sisters, noting the looks of shock and incredulity on their faces.

"Oops."

 * * * * * * * * * *

Ranma checked Kasumi's room, then the guest room. Failing to find Ranko in either, he knocked gently at the bathroom door.

"Hmm?"

"Ko-chan? Are you ... decent?"

"Enough for you to stay in the bathroom, Niichan, just stay in there."

"Okay," he replied. He entered the bathroom, feeling the steam seep through the other door as he heard the water running. The water ceased and he heard her splash water gently in the furo. He swallowed hard.

"Uh, I have to ask you something," he stated.

"Yes?"

"Um ... why didn't you come home last night?"

She giggled. "I spent the night with Ono-kun."

"Uh-huh," Ranma replied slowly. He flashed briefly back to when the Doctor's mother came to visit, and he was almost married off to the doc, simply because of his female form's hips! "And what happened?"

"Oh, my. Are you jealous, Niichan?" she chuckled to herself.

He blushed down to his hairline. "Of course not!"

"Oh, really?" she asked. He heard her rise from the water and he suddenly found the door open. 

She stood in front of him, nude and wet. She smiled impishly up at him, watching him sweatdrop.

"Eep!" he squeaked.

"Figured it was best to tell you face to face, Niichan," she said, touching her finger to his lip to quiet him. "I'm in love with Ono. I was trying to deny it, but I can't anymore. Last night, spent in wonderful embrace ... "

"I'm going to kill him!" Ranma stated flatly. He spun around to leave, but found Ranko had jumped him, holding him back with her legs wrapped around him and her hand hanging onto the doorframe.

"Don't you dare kill him, Niichan!!" she roared, squeezing her thighs around his waist. "You're the first man I'd ever loved, and now I've found Ono! Please let me have this bit of happiness!"

He pulled, causing her grip to slip and both fell to the floor of the bathroom. 

"Forget it, Imouto-chan! You're only a week old! Nobody is going to defile my sister!"

"Defile?" she sat up, looking down at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, why else would an older man have a younger woman spend the night with him? See? I've paid attention! So tell me if that jerk raped you or not!" 

She frowned, getting up and stomping him in the gut as she turned to find a robe. She pulled it on, allowing him time to stand. She whirled around and held his face with her hands, their noses inches from the other's.

"Listen, Niichan-baka," she told him quietly and firmly. "Ono did not take advantage of me. I am still maiden. Our clothes remained on and there was ... some necking. The night was spent in talk over tea. We read and argued and cuddled and mused. It has to be the most wonderful night in my life!"

He took this all in, staring back into her intense blue eyes. He could see why the doc would be attracted to his Ko-chan ... but ... but she was *his*, first!

<But she's your sister, you pervert,> a nasty voice inside him scolded him sharply. <Not to mention you're Akane's guy!>

He took a deep breath. "Ko-chan ... are you *sure* about the doc?"

"My darling, it *feels* right. More than anything else." She stood up and kissed his mouth dryly. "Now, you have school soon. You and Akane and Nabiki need to get ready.  Hinako-sensei put me on probation until mother and I can figure out a straight story to tell her about my education."

"Okay," he breathed deeply, feeling his heart race. He had to avoid these type of situations with her. She was more intense in the flesh than in his mind, and any man would be driven to distraction by her whole being. 

He left the bathroom, closing the door behind him and letting his breath out at last. He looked down and scowled. <What are *you* standing up for, you blind bastard? There's nothing for *you* here!>

Kasumi almost ran into him in the hallway. "Ranma!" she said breathlessly. "There might be some trouble!"

 * * * * * * * * * *

The Nekohanten prepared for another day, somewhat slowly since Mousse seemed to have contracted numerous bumps, bruises, and contusions, and had an arm in a sling.

"{What happened to you, Duck-boy?}" Shampoo asked playfully. His mumbled reply wasn't entirely clear, something about farm-girls with fetishes and cannibal pandas. Shampoo shrugged and decided it wasn't any of her business.

"SHAMPOO!" Cologne called out.

"{Bloody hell,}" she muttered. "{Can't the Crone wait? We have the morning commuter rush hitting soon!}" She put down the vegetables she'd been preparing and went out to the dining room. "{What is it, Cologne?}"

Cologne looked at her great-granddaughter sharply. Such familiarity to a Matriarch bordered on insult ... but not sufficiently for even a mild rap in the head. "{Child, you've become rather forward lately,}" she began ominously. "{And you should remember to adopt a proper posture of respect. When we return to the village, you will have to unlearn much of this outsider informality.}"

"{Oh yes,} Shampoo tried to interrupt. "{About that -}"

Cologne ignored her. "{Where is the Son-In-Law?}"

It took Shampoo a second to realize she meant Ryoga. "{He's in the back room, asleep. He'd get lost if he tried to go home at night by himself.}"

Cologne nodded. "{Well, then, a simple sleeping potion, and we'll be able to take him to the ship and begin our journey home. The 'Mayeda Maru' has docked in Tokyo Bay, and will leave for the Northern Shadow Port soon. It would be best to return by that route - we wouldn't want to bother the Glorious People's Customs Officials.}" She snickered at the thought; the Communists, in their eagerness to control people's lives at every level, left more holes for smuggling than the Imperials ever did.

"{I think not,}" Shampoo said.

"Hm?"

"{Ryoga has stated that he needs time to sort out his feelings. I intend to give him that time.}"

"{He can do that in Joketsuzoku,}" Cologne stated imperiously.

"{No.}"

Cologne was shocked. Mousse stuck his head out the kitchen door, not even bothering to hide the fact that he was eavesdropping.

"{What??}"

"{I said 'No'. Here I stay. You and Mousse can return to Joketsuzoku. I stay here with Ryoga and my son.}"

Cologne looked at her great-granddaughter appraisingly. The fawning adoration she'd encouraged was gone, replaced with a fire and pride worthy of a Matriarch. 

"{So, child -}"

"{My name is Xian Pu, Matriarch Ko Lon,}" Shampoo said harshly. "{I am a blooded warrior and a mother. Remember that. While you can.}"

Mousse gasped in horror, and Cologne could only stare mutely. 

In ancient times, the first Nychezu had long concluded that while martial valor was essential to their survival, it was not all that was necessary; strong minds were also needed. Thus they set up the complex Laws that governed the Amazon Nation, from the rituals of Honorable Duels to the Matriarch's Challenge. Any thug could batter her way to power as a warlord, but it took a keen intellect to navigate the paths and pitfalls of Amazon Law and become a Matriarch.

The wording of Shampoo's statement was that of a warning challenge, spoken as a superior to an inferior who has overstepped her bounds. 

While a physical combat could normally decide the outcome, since Cologne was a Matriarch, only the Matriarch's Challenge was permissible.

"{I remember,}" Cologne said coldly, completing the formula for acceptance. "{As shall you. Mousse! Prepare!}" 

As Mousse rushed upstairs to get the essential trappings, Cologne turned to Shampoo, looking deep into her eyes. "{Take your man and your child, and leave this place. Return in three days' time. By the sunset of the third day, you will either be a Matriarch - or a slave.}"

Shampoo nodded and went upstairs.

Cologne shook her head. <You are a century too young, great-grandchild. What has possessed you to try this?>

A moment later, Shampoo bounced downstairs, a bag in one hand, and the infant on her chest in a carrier. She had evidentally packed before she came down this morning.

<No spur-of-the-moment whim is this. She planned it.> A surge of pride swelled up in Cologne's withered chest. <It would almost be worth becoming a slave if she won. Such audacity ...> Cologne sighed. Luckily, Shampoo was young; when she lost, she could probably pass the Challenge of Freedom in seven years and become a Free Citizen again. The Matriarch Glycerol had fought her way up from slavery to the matriarchy in ancient times, and was revered as a saint.

<Still ... I'm proud of your courage, and your audacity. I'm looking forward to the day.>

 * * * * * * * * * *

Nodoka settled next to Ichiro, both enjoying the quiet morning in her garden.  They were only dressed in their sleeping robes, her red hair still mussed from the night's passions.  She felt alive again after all these years of solitude and loneliness.  Her children were her own again, her lover was as delightful, her mind more at peace than ever before in all her years of marriage.

But, there was that problem concerning her husband's hand in her son's path to manliness, as well as the inheritance her father promised would be Ranma's when he became of age or married at last.  She made a note to ask the family lawyer about adding Ranko to the bequest to insure her part of the family wealth.

Nabiki had explained to her the details of her husband's planned defrauding of Ranma. The major part of it hinged on the fact that when Nodoka's father's will was read, Genma had Nodoka stay home and recover from childbirth while he went to the will-reading. Genma had told her that they had been disinherited, and as a result, Nodoka was unaware of the inheritance, and had believed that her father went to his grave hating her. 

The conclusion was obvious; Genma had planned to abandon her and steal her family's money when Ranma was just a few weeks old.

Genma *had* abandoned her, attemped to steal her family's wealth, had abused her son, had lied repeatedly. Did she want him as a husband anymore?

"You look so serious, sweetheart," Ichiro said, interrupting Nodoka's train of thought.

"Just thinking about what Nabiki had mentioned about my honored father's will and my children ... and my rotten husband," she answered softly, shaking her head to clear the anger her husband's deceit had brought up.

"Money is only money, No-chan."

"But it helps.  And it's the principle.  Genma had driven a wedge between my father and myself the last days of his life.  Why?  Because I believed I loved the coward.  He told me my father had disinherited my son and myself, and I was angry with my father all these years for that lie."  She gazed down at her balled up fists, white and shaking with barely controlled rage.  "I could turn that bastard into paste for driving my own children away from me as well!"

Ichiro held her hands in his, forcing her to turn her body to his and for their eyes to meet.  "Nodoka, anger will not solve it, nor will violence.  It's time to take control of life as I understand our children have done."  He raised a hand, caressing her face gently.  "And anger does not suit you, my dear friend."

She nodded, breathing deeply to control her emotions.  She leaned forward and kissed his mouth in reassurance; his arms rounded her, and both leaned back on the bench.  Ichiro's hands opened her robe, while she sighed in anticipation ...


Jiro ran down the street toward the Saotome place, his thoughts jumbled, his anger at the fore.

He was going to get some answers, then he was going to pummel the Old Fart for daring to complicate his life *again*! This was just like before in the village when he was dating that girl Rose Petal, and ... he *hated* history repeating itself!

He jumped over the garden wall, and saw his father about to have his way with Ranma and Ranko's mother.

"YOU BASTARD!!!" he shrieked.  "THAT'S WHAT GOT YOU IN TROUBLE BEFORE, YOU HENTAI!!!"

Nodoka screamed and rolled out from under Ichiro as Jiro's foot made its way toward her partner's head.  Ichiro grabbed his son's ankle and slammed him face down in the gravel.

"Good morning, son," he said calmly. "Is something wrong?"

Jiro twisted his face around, allowing the gravel to settle in one side of his mouth.  "You *had* to muck up my life *again*, you traveling boinkman!"

"Could you please explain that a bit more clearly?"

"NABIKI TENDO, YOU DAMN ONE-MAN SPERM BANK!!!"

Ichiro raised his eyebrow in puzzlement as Nodoka still sat on the ground in complete shock, both her robe and legs open without thought.

"JUST LIKE ROSE PETAL WHEN I WAS A KID!!!"

Ichiro got a look of comprehension. "Oh. You and her."

"YEAH, YOU IDIOT!"

"I thought you and Kasumi -"

"NABIKI WAS *BEFORE*!"

Ichiro felt a bit of pride that his son would mess around with two sisters. <Like father, like son ...> "Son, you can't blame me for that - or Rose Petal. Remember, I told you not to date her."

"YOU NEVER SAID *WHY*!!"

"I'm supposed to say, 'Don't date so-and-so, she's your sister'?"

"HELL YES!!"

His father nodded, then replied, "Don't date Nabiki Tendo, she may be your sister."

Jiro roared and sent his fist toward his father's face.

Ichiro leaned back, caught his wrist, and sent Jiro into the garden wall.

"Son, how often have I told you about losing your temper like that?"

Nodoka could only blink as it got worse.

Ranma came bounding over the other wall and halted in his tracks as he saw his all-but-naked mother with her legs spread open on the ground.  He looked at Ichiro, then at the hole Jiro had made, then back to Ichiro again.

"I'm not sure what's happening here, but I think *somebody* needs to be hit!"

Ichiro rolled his eyes and sighed. "Here we go again!"


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