Okay because you demanded it (and because I was blocked of Shantyworld yet again) Here it be. I have to confess I rushed sending this out because my housemate (who lets me use her computer) is having it unplugged for the weekend due to theoretical Y2K related power surges so bear with me. As always sugestions (such as names for first chapters) and C+C are welcome and encouraged. Now, the legal stuff: Ranma 1/2 belongs to Ms. Takahashi, Evangelion belongs to Gainex (and not Ms. Saotome) So without further ado, Montanto Productions presents


                        Onneechan
                   A Ranma/Evangelion X-Over
                       (Sort of)
                       By Bill Morse


The tall blonde walked through the school cafeteria as if she owned the place. She stopped at a table where a woman her own age sat hunched over a notebook, writing diligently. The blonde pulled up a seat and sat down in front of her. "So, Misato, are you excited?" she asked. "If I didn't know any better I'd say that you were nervous."

Misato was normally a beautiful woman with long purple hair and an obnoxiously sunny disposition. At the moment she looked slightly rumpled. She looked up from what she was writing and glared at her best friend and roommate. "Gee, thanks Ritsuko, she hissed. You had to remind me, didn�t you! I finally managed to get it out of my mind."

Ritsuko sipped her coffee. "Hey don�t worry it's not as if it's the end of the world or anything. It's only your first day of student teaching."

"You only think that because you don�t have my professor," Misato grumbled.

"Come on Misato, Ikari can't be that bad."

"Worse, he's much worse."

"Don�t tell me you believe any of those rumors you told me about?"

"No one saw those two again."

"Yeah, right. But I still think you're overreacting. You�ve got something else on your mind. I can tell." Ritsuko said eyeing her friend carefully.

"Okay, you're right. My Mom called."

"You and your Mom are talking now?" Ritsuko asked hiding her smile behind her coffee mug.

"I didn�t say that, she left a message," Misato said looking very annoyed. "Besides it's not as if you're in good terms with *your* parents."

Ritsuko glared at Misato for a moment, frowning "That's different," she growled. "So what did your Mom say?"

"Nothing much, something about some friends she's been visiting. Apparently my father was staying with them.

" So the dead beat dad's trail warms at last."

"My father is not a dead beat!" Misato shouted standing up to face Ritsuko.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake. Running off with your kid brother and leaving you and your Mom to fend for yourselves is perfectly normal behavior in modern society. How silly of me to forget."

"Can we change the subject, please?" Misato asked. She was not in the mood for either a fight or Ritsuko's sarcasm.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. So, what are you writing now?" Ritsuko asked looking at her friend's notebook.

"It's my latest idea for a science fiction novel! It takes place fourteen years in the future. Tokyo is being attacked by these mysterious aliens called angels and the only thing between them and certain destruction are these robots called Evas. What do you think?"

Ritsuko paused for a few moments trying to think of a way not to hurt her friend's feelings. "I don�t know, besides the Judeo-Christian motif it sounds like a typical mecha story."

Misato looked down at her writing pensively. "You're right, but there's something it that makes me think it has possibilities. All it need is something. I don�t know what but I'm going to keep working on it."

"Well, more power to you," Ritsuko said sipping her coffee, "just as long as you didn�t make me the bitchy scientist again."

Misato turned red smiled sheepishly and slammed her notebook shut. "Er, ah, no, whatever gave you that idea?"

Ritsuko smiled knowingly as she took a final sip from her coffee and got up from the table. "Intuition. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some thing to take care of before my class starts at noon. See you later."

"Ritsuko?"

"What?"

"The bathroom's that way."

                    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Come on Ranma, that�s ridiculous.

"I'm serious, Akane. Something's going to happen," Ranma said nervously looking around the classroom.

"Alright you have a 'feeling' I still think you're being paranoid."

"Think about it, Akane. I haven't been splashed in a week, Shampoo's visiting relatives in China, Kunou's sick, Ryouga's lost, and that crazy English language teacher quit."

"You're being unfair to Gumby-Sensei. He wasn't anywhere near as bad as the one he replaced. You know, the one who wore his raincoat indoors and talked about parrots and all of his pets named 'Erik'" Akane said in the man's defense.

"Akane, he wore a handkerchief on his head! And who rolls their pants up like that? Where does Principal Kunou find these people? Anyway, it's quiet now, but for how long? It's only a matter of time before Ryouga shows up with a new secret technique or Shampoo or Kodachi plan something."

"I suppose you think those three are martial artists out to kill you." Akane said indicating the three new transfer students, (who the class had nicknamed the Wimp, the Gaijin, and the Girl) sitting in the back of the classroom.

The Girl actually didn�t have a nickname, yet, but no one had bothered to come up with anything or even ask her name for that matter. She was odd looking with she had light, almost white, skin and red eyes. Her hair was a light blue. Since she had entered the classroom, about fifteen minutes ago, she had said nothing and just stared out of the window.

The Gaijin was a pretty red head who chatted with anyone who bothered to talk to her. She seemed to like the sound of her own voice.

There was nothing special about the Wimp. He was just an ordinary kid though a bit scrawny. He looked as if he was desperately trying to blend in with the furniture.

"Oh come on Akane, be serious," Ranma said shaking his head,  "that guy makes Gosunkugi look butch. Maybe it will rain today." Ranma said hopefully after looking at the new students.

Akane shrugged, shaking her heads and went back to talking with Sayuri and Yuka.

"Alright everyone take your seats." Miss Hinako said, entering the room with another woman. "We have three new students today but first I would like to introduce the knew student teacher who will be here for the rest of the semester. This is her first day, so everyone be nice to her. I'll let her introduce herself.

Every male student gasped in admiration as the woman walked to the front of the class and wrote her name on the blackboard. She was beautiful, in her early twenties, with long black hair, and dressed in a black mini skirt and red jacket. She wore a large gold cross around her neck. She turned and smiled broadly. "Hi everybody, I'm Misato Saotome! I know we're going to get along just fine."

Ranma's jaw dropped in shock.

                    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

For once, Ranma paid complete attention to the classwork. This was an impressive feat as the English lesson was boring even by Miss Hinako's standards. He had a sneaking suspicion Miss Hinako was reading VCR instructions. Still, he kept his eyes glued to the blackboard from behind his textbook. Never looking behind him for a second. The reason for this was Misato Saotome. Sure, she was pretty, and really cool, but all of his survival mechanisms told him not to get involved no matter what. Right now he almost wished that Shampoo would come crashing through a wall on her bicycle or Kunou would run in with the latest of his romantic fantasies. When was good luck ever so bad?

As far as he could tell, he was one of the only students paying attention to the lesson at all. With very few exceptions (most notably the new students, who had been introduced as Shinji, Rei and Asuka) the rest of the class was concentrating on Misato. It had in fact for the first 15 minutes impossible for Miss Hinako to even start the class. Misato had been circled by a mob of all of the boys of the class asking all sorts of questions.

"Ms Misato, do you have a boyfriend?"

"Ms Misato, what are your measurements?"

"Ms Misato, what is your bloodtype?"

"Ms Misato, do you have any relationship too Ranyowtch!!! What the hell did you do that for Ranmmph!!" The last question had been from Hiroshi. Ranma had thumped him before he had gotten the chance to finish the question and clamped a hand over his mouth before Hiroshi could get Ranma's name out.

Fortunately Misato had missed the scuffle mainly because the girls were just as bad.

"Ms Misato, where do you get your hair done?"

"Ms Misato, what perfume are you using?

"Ms Misato, how can we get a figure like yours?"

Too make matters worse, Misato actually encouraged this answering all of the questions and flirting shamelessly as if it were all a colossal joke. Finally Miss Hinako got so mad that even the usual bribes of comic books and candy did not work and everyone sat down to endure the lesson.

This was going to be a long day, Ranma thought to himself.



                    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Hey, Rits, It's me," Misato said merrily standing in the train station's pay phone.

"Hello, Misato, How'd it go?" Ritsuko asked on the other end.

"Pretty good, I think. Kind of weird though. A ten year old girl was teaching the class. Well, she wasn�t really ten years old but . . . well, you wouldn�t believe me if I told you. Theres times I think I'm cursed. Do you know who one of the new students was? Shinji Ikari, does my professor put spies in all of the classes his students teach in?" The other thing there was this one student, not bad looking, future stud potential."

"Don�t tell me your desperate enough to start scouting high schools for dates," Ritsuko said facetiously.

"Would you cut it out? That wasn�t my point, If I didn�t know better I'd say he was avoiding me. I only got a couple of good looks at him the entire day. I know I sound crazy saying this but he looked really familiar."

"You always sound crazy. Anyway I'll see you later. Enjoy your surprise."

"Surprise? Wait a minute, what surprise?" It was too late. Ritsuko had hung up. Misato shrugged and ran to catch her train.

Sitting down once she got into the train, Misato got out her notebook and began to write.

                    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Red alert! Red Alert! An Angel is attacking. Repeat, an Angel is attacking! Scramble the Evas! Repeat, scramble the Evas!" Captain Misato Katsuragi ran down the corridor, in full flight gear, to the Eva entrance tube. A handsome muscular officer ran to catch up with her.

"What's the status, Lt. Ryoji?" Katsuraji demanded.

"Ma'am the angel is within 30 kilometers of Tokyo and closing fast. You�ve got to hurry. The Eva is the only thing that can stop it. "

"Well there's nothing for it is there? Smoke me a kipper, I'll be home for breakfast." Captain Katsutaji putting her helmet on as she leaped down the entrance tube.

"Be careful, Captain," Lt. Ryoji shouted as he watched the captain slide down the tube, "I love you."

Captain Misato Katsuraji landed in the Eva's cockpit. "What's our status?" she asked.

"All lights green, Captain," The voice from the speaker said.

"Great! Launch Eva!" Captain Katsuraji shouted. The Eva shot out of the hanger into the light of day. "Thrusters on!" Katsuraji shouted pushing the controls. Metal wings popped out of the Eva's back and fire flashed out of its feet. And the Eva flew into the air, hurtling towards its quarry.

The Angel was much larger then the countless others she had fought in the past. The Seelie Empire had out done itself when it created this walking monstrosity. But this had never stopped her before.

"Eva missiles!" She shouted. Twin missiles fired from the Eva's wrist hitting the angel square in the back.

The Angel turned towards her seemingly unaffected. It fired a blast of energy knocking the Eva over.

"Damn! It's too powerful!" Misato shouted, "There's only one thing left to do."

"Captain Katsuraji, no!" Professor Akagi shouted over the radio, "you�ve sustained to much damage. If you continue the attack you'll be killed."

"Damn It Ritsuko! Which is more important, me or the future of humanity? I've got to do it." Energy formed around the Eva as it charged its final attack. "ABSOLUTE TERROR BLAST!!!!!"

                    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Misato looked at her work shaking her head. Absolute terror blast? This is what I write like when I'm sober? If Ritsuko sees this she'll have enough blackmail material to last a lifetime.

She tore the page from the notebook and crumbled it into a tiny little ball. "It comes from watching too many Grandizer and Giking reruns as a kid," she muttered to herself as she left the train. Still there were a few bit worth saving, albeit small ones. She thought playing with her crucifix. Captain Katsuraji had a ring to it.

                    -*--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"It's a coincidence. It's got to be a coincidence!"  Ranma repeated a mantra as he and Akane walked home on the way from school.

"Well, Saotome is a fairly common name." Akane said trying to be helpful.

"It's not that common. With my luck she knows Mom." Ranma said frantically.

"Oh like she could really tell with you trying to hide from her all day. Besides there was so much going on Miss Hinako didn�t even get a chance to take attendance. If you're that worried about all this just go with the wet look for a few days."

"What do you mean the wet loo . . .  no, oh no!! It's bad enough having to hide in plain sight in front of Mom thanks to that damn Panda there is no way that I am going to do the same thing in school for the rest of the semester as well!"

"Oh well. I'm just telling your options. If you don�t like them don�t go crying to me." Akane said curtly.

"Crying? Who the hell is crying and what do you know about it ya kawaikune tomboy?!"

"Fine! See if I help you any more! Baka!" Akane shouted back. They continued to argue all the way home. Comfortable in their familiar ground.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The apartment that Misato shared with Ritsuko was about a kilometer away from school at the northern edge of the Nerima prefect. It was fairly nice for its price range and had a gorgeous view of a park. PenPen was there waiting for her, enthusiastic as usual, as she opened the door.

PenPen had been a gift from Ritsuko's parents. The one time Misato had actually met them their dog, Shirokuro had a litter of puppies they were giving away. PenPen was all gray on one side and white on the other. Though nowhere as impressive as the stark black and white of his mother, he was a gorgeous dog.

Misato looked around as she kneeled down to pet PenPen. There was something about the place. It was clean. This wasn�t too strange, Ritsuko always kept her part of the apartment in good order, especially her cat collectibles, but this was different, It was perfect almost sterile. A pine scent permeated the room. From the kitchen Misato could hear a clink of a dish in the sink. She walked in knowing full well who it was.

A woman in her mid fifties, though looking much younger, with reddish brown hair dressed in a formal Kimono underneath her apron stood in front of the sink washing dishes.

"Mother, what are you doing here?" Misato demanded.

Nodoka Saotome turned to her daughter and smiled sweetly. "Why hello, Misato-chan. Your friend Ritsuko let me in."

"Oh did she?" Misato muttered.

"She really is a very nice girl. Why can't you be more like her?"

"Well, to start with, it would mean giving up bran entirely." Misato said under her breath.

"What was that, Dear?" Nodoka asked.

"Nothing, Mother, nothing," Misato said quickly. "So what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"There's no need to be rude, Misato-chan, with an attitude like that it's no wonder you don't have a husband."

Actually it's because the first thing they ask me on the second date is " tell me Misato-chan, does your mother still carry that pig sticker around," Misato thought to herself.

"To answer your question, I was on my way to visit the Tendous and I was wondering if you would like to come along."

"To see if there's finally a chance of seeing Dad and Ranma?" Misato asked walking over to the refrigerator.

"We can only hope, at least you can get to meet Ranko-Chan."

"Ranko-chan?" Misato repeated pausing in front of the refrigerator.

"Why yes, dear. She's Mr. Tendou's niece

. She's very sweet but seems a bit tomboyish. Still I think all she needs is a woman's touch."

"Kind of like the daughter you never had, huh?" Misato said opening the refrigerator door.

"Oh Misato-chan, you know I love you. It's just some times I wish you would be more proper and, well, more ladylike."

Misato said nothing. She was too busy staring at the contents of the fridge. It was filled with an excellent selection of foods. Some of them looked healthy. Something was vital was missing.

"Mother, where's my beer?"

"I threw it out. It really isn't good to drink that much, Misato-chan, and hardly feminine."

Before Misato had a chance to loose her temper the doorbell rang. "Just a second, Mother," she said and marched to the doorway thanking the gods for this brief respite.

Ritsuko's underclassman Maya Ibuki was standing in the hallway. She looked very worried. "Oh, hello Saotome-Sempai. Have you seen Hibiki-Sempai?" she asked.

"She hasn�t come home yet, Maya," Misato had a good idea where this was going.

Maya looked frantic. "I'm sorry, Sempai. I swear I just turned my back for one minute and she was gone. If only I was more careful.

"Don�t worry, Maya. It happens to all of us," Misato said comforting the younger woman. "She'll show up in a few days. Just you wait; we used to have pool going in the freshman dorm. I used to make a fortune."

"But Sempai, she has an exam tomorrow! If this effects her grade point average what. . ."

"Look, Ritsuko's a big girl. She has a cell phone she'll call if she has a problem. Besides, how far can she can she get in one hour?"

As if on cue, the phone rang. "See?" Misato said smiling as she went to answer it. "Hello? Oh, Hi Ritsuko we were just talking about you. Where are you?" She paused, listening to Ritsuko's description. I need a little more to go on then 'somewhere around Fujikawa,' Ritsuko," she said impatiently.

She quickly drew the phone back to avoid Ritsuko's retort. "Okay, I'm sorry. Are there any road signs near you?" Please don�t let her be in the middle of the woods." Okay, Good, tell me what they say. There's no need to get sarcastic. Okay I've got it."

Misato wrote down the address and handed it too Maya who started to look through her pocket atlas. She gave Misato a thumbs up sign.

"Okay, we found it. Stay there and we should be there in about an hour. Great, bye."

"How her family even manages to reproduce is beyond me," Misato said hanging up the phone.

"Mother, we're going to have to make a slight detour on the way to the Tendous is that alright?"

Oh so you want to come with me then? Nodoka asked drying her hands as she walked out of the kitchen.

"Of course, Mother. I'd love to meet Ranko Chan," Misato said.

"That's wonderful, Dear. Oh, before we go I wonder if you could do one little favor for me."

"Mother, I'm not wearing the kimono," Misato said before Nodoka could even finish the request.

                    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Misato? Why would I know a Misato?" Genma asked. He sounded hesitant.

"Give it a rest, Pop. She's a Saotome. What if she knows Mom? What if she finds out about the curse and spills the beans? C'mon Pop, Is there a Misato in the family or not?"

There were times when Ranma was convinced that his father had a hidden supply of cold water bottles hidden throughout the house for such occasions. A large panda, playing with a tire in front of him, supported this theory.

"Hello? Is there anyone here?" a frightenly familiar voice asked.

"Shit! It's Mom!" Ranma hissed. Before he had a chance to respond in any way. The Panda had thrown the rest of the cold water on him. Grumbling she walked to the foyer to great her mother yet again.

Mr. Tendou was there with Kasumi talking to Nodoka. Nodoka was there with two young woman in their mid twenties. One was dressed in what looked like fashionable hiking gear carrying a daypack. Her hair was died blonde. The other was dressed in a black miniskirt and red jacket and looked far too familiar.







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