A little late in my reply, but I got to it at last.

At 02:00 AM 12/15/99 -0500, DB Sommer wrote:

At last. It's back!

It is.  Chapter eleven is looking like it will be going to pre-readers by the end of
the holiday weekend (keep your fingers crossed).  I would have been farther along,
but I came down with a nasty flu bug that lasted from Thanksgiving through
Christmas.  I didn't get much writing done, but I caught up on my video watching
and back reading a bit.

-
>Quantum Destinies
>A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic
>By Jurai Knight (sthesken@earthlink.net)
>
>
>
>Chapter 10 - Girl Troubles
>
>working order, and she was proud (in her own way) to sustain this sacred
>trust.  As the System Administrator, it was her vital duty to work the
>long hours necessary for keeping all its functions in stable working
>order.  After all, her work here was all she had left, since the day not
>too long ago when Kami-sama turned the Goddess Relief Office over to
>Peorth's control for an indeterminate duration.

Old Man is probably off playing skee-ball somewhere.

It is a possibility.

>wedding day, if she understood the significance of the ceremony he was
>currently involved in correctly.  She watched as he took the small cup
>of sake from the robed and veiled woman before him, her face made up

Since you have 'makeup' just a little later in the sentence, I'd change
this 'made up' to 'covered' or 'decorated' something that doesn't sound
quite so much like the later words

Noted.

>with thick layers of white makeup so that it appeared to be that of a
>porcelain doll.

Keiichi accidentily bumped into the woman, knocking her over. As she hit
the floor, she shattered into a million tiny porcelain fragments.

"Well, that explains it," Belldandy murmured.

No mortal woman can satisfy him after all, right?  ^_^

>     However, despite her unexpected melancholy at the sight, the young
>goddess was not worried for his future.

The sonuvabitch would die in a fiery wreck on his way to the honeymoon.
That would serve him right for settling for someone less than a Goddess.

Yipes!  Belldandy the Avenging Goddess just does not seem quite right though.
Might make for a scary fic idea though.

>     The view briefly panned around the audience, showing another young
>couple seated near the front for a moment.  Both teens were dressed in a
>traditional manner for this solemn occasion.

Leather jackets. Nose rings. The works.

Something like that.  ^_^

The boy, a seventeen-year
>old youth named Kinagi Tendou, wore his brown hair tied back into a
>tight pigtail.  He was only recently returned to his family from a
>grueling, decade-long training trip studying the martial arts under his
>father's friend, Genma Saotome.  On his right sat an athletic-looking
>and very attractive redhead, Ranko Saotome, his fiancee and primary
>sparring partner of late.  She was mainly watching the proceedings and
>occasionally glancing at the boy seated next to her.

Kinagi? Any particular reason for that name?

I wracked my poor brain for a male version of Nabiki's name, and that was
the best I could come up with.

>     So intent was Belldandy on watching all aspects

all the aspects (I think)

I think either might work here, but grammar is not alway my strong suit (as
you well know, DB).

>     Behind Belldandy, the figure raised a hand and dissolved away into
>amber light, a glow that quickly vanished into nothingness.

Ah. Another piece of the overall plot of the series comes into play.

Slowly.  I am trying to prolong the suspense a bit.

>     Outside, Nabiki peeked in through the open window at the back of the
>training hall, her body suspended by her feet from the edge of the roof.
>She was dressed in one of her many Chinese-style outfits, this one being
>composed of the usual black gi pants, but topped off by a sleeveless
>sea-green silk shirt.  She was finding that she liked the look of blues
>and greens on her in her shirts.

AVST Nabby: I'm not taking over her mind. Nonononono.

Of course not.  Nothing to see here.  Go on about your business.

>her instructors would even notice any difference.  One advantage she was
>quickly discovering she possessed over her counterpart was her almost
>eidetic memory.

Awkward: I think something more like
One advantage that she discovered she possessed over her counterpart

Sounds better all right.

 In the weeks and months to come, she was confident that
>she would be able to use that ability to remain well ahead in all of her
>studies even while she pursued a brutal new training schedule.  In
>addition to her time at the Academy, she planned to put in at least two
>extra hours a day on top of that.  She felt confident that five to six
>hours of training daily

Yikes! That will only leave her time to eat, crap, and sleep. How is she
going to get into trouble if all she does is work out? ^_^

Well, that is just until she feels she has regained enough ground on her
counterpart.  Ranma is doing the same thing and he seems to have plenty
of troubles developing.  ^_^

>     Nabiki could not bring herself to believe that she had let her
>unexpected emotions for Ranma get the better of her, for that gave him
>an advantage in their dealings that she did not find at all tolerable at
>the present time.

'...that she found intolerable at the present time.' Works better for me,
but that might be more personal than anything else.

I guess your way sounds a bit better.

 Whenever he was near her, he confused the trained
>orderliness of her thoughts, and that was not acceptable

was unacceptable

 to her.  She
>was not some blushing, shy little schoolgirl out of some romance manga.
>She was Nabiki Tendou, sometimes called the 'Iron Bitch' of the Imperial
>Academy behind her back,

Beats being called  the 'Iron Dyke' of Ohtori, like Haruka is ^_^

True.  ^_^

>     That realization was still troubling, but much less so than the
>alternative.  The need to be the best burned deeply within Nabiki, some
>of that, but not all, carrying over from the absorbed memories of her
>counterpart.  She knew that she must challenge Ranma again to regain her
>place within her internal picture as to the proper state of things -
>that Nabiki Tendou was the top fighter in the area, and most definitely
not a young man named Ranma Saotome.

I doubt anyone thinks she's Ranma Saotome (You did word that last sentence
a bit oddly)

ACK!  I can see how it might read weird now.

>     The loss of money was a further annoyance to her.  Overconfidence
>had dealt her two irritating losses for the price of one: the loss in
>combat to Ranma itself, and the loss

Wah! Loss four times in there. I think the best thing would be to delete
the first sentence completely and go with 'Overconfidence...' as the
opening to the paragraph.

Oops.  My vocabulary needs some expanding again, I guess.

 of a fair amount of money on his
>beating of all the spreads she established.  She had even underestimated
>his endurance for setting the time duration bets on the fight.

Serves you right for getting cocky, ya' wench.

Heh.

>                    ******************************
>
>     Nabiki found herself standing in the familiar surroundings of the
>Tendou Dojo, barefoot, and dressed in Chinese-style clothes with a blue
>shirt.  She was paused in the doorway, the walkway leading to the main
>house lying behind her, and a

I think separating those into two sentences would be for the best, but that
might just be a style thing for me again.  "...behind her. A hazily..."

I think you are right.

>     "And you'll lose again," said the other Nabiki.  She tilted her head
>to one side slightly as she looked at the blue-shirted Nabiki.  "Why do
>you think you lost this time?"
>
>     "Ranma added Amazon techniques to his arsenal," replied Nabiki, a
>bit puzzled by the question.
>
>     "Wrong," said the green-shirted Nabiki,

"You're a wimp."

QD Ranma: She might be right.

QD Nabiki: Shut up, Saotome.  You'll get yours in a chapter or two.

>     "Thanks," replied the other Nabiki with a smile.  "Oddly enough, it
>reminds me a little of something that I once saw on a dubbed, American
>science-fiction program, but that's beside the point.  Now take a look
>at Ranchan's eyes.  Tell me, what do you see?"
>
>     Nabiki walked over and studied Ranma closely, noting the purposeful
>gaze on his face.  She turned and said,

"Eyeballs"

^_^

"He looks like he really wanted
>to win."

That too.

>
>     "How so?" asked Nabiki, clearly not understanding.

Drop the 'clearly not understanding.' That's made clear by her question and
it's needless.

Ok.

so strongly that they reach far, far deeper into
>themselves than they otherwise ever would.  I enter every fight with
>that attitude, that hunger for victory, and I've always won in the end.

Except for the times I lost, but that goes without saying.

AVST Nabiki: But not when it _really_ counted.

>
>     "So what do I do to beat my Ranma?" asked Nabiki.
>
>     "Do you really want to beat your Ranma?" asked the other Nabiki,
>pausing in her attack upon the hapless target.  "There's a way."
>
>     "Tell me!" demanded Nabiki.

"Drug him!" Nabiki said. "Slip something into his drink that will slow him
down and you'll achieve an easy victory."

S1/2 Kodachi: The true way to victory... cheating.

QD Nabiki: Ah, be quiet, you psycho wench.  I have enough trouble with the
princess version of you.

QD Kodachi: That is only because you cannot compete with good breeding
such as I have.

>     "It's obvious," said the other Nabiki with a smile.  "Develop your
>speed even further, like this."  After calling out a loud "Kachu Tenshin
>Amaguriken!" she began swiftly demolishing the training dummy.  Her
>fists were mere blurs, each solid strike landing at nearly the speed of
>sound, possibly even beyond it.  As the target crumbled to dust under
>the brutal assault, she continued, "It's one of my favorite techniques
>out of all those in my arsenal.  Train to use it, and your Ranma won't
>be able to stand against your speed.  I doubt Cologne would ever have
>taught his counterpart the technique,

Wrong. At least the S 1/2, and probably the mainstream counterpart mucking
in his mind, both know it.

Yes, but QD Nabiki only ever saw the AVST world, so her view might be
a bit skewed.  After all, an Amazon Elder teaching such a powerful technique
to a mere male?

>     The other Nabiki went on speaking as she gracefully flowed around
>the imaginary dojo's floor, "I'm actually sorta surprised that your
>Ranma can give you so much trouble.  After all, as much as I love my own
>Ranchan, he's just not in my class as a fighter, and he never will be.

Since his mother gelded him. Makes you wonder if Genma knew what he was
talking about in Nodoka being too soft on the boy (not that Genma's child
rearing philosophies were any good. But he did make Ranma into a great
fighter)

True.  Some choice for Ranma.  Stay home and be a wimp, or go on the
training trip and become a jerk.  QD Ranma comments a bit on the different
versions of himself in chapter eleven.

>
>     A second one of the training dummies was obliterated with rapid,
>powerful blows from the other Nabiki's fists, then she

I'd change to 'fists. She paused...'

 paused and looked
>at the dreaming Nabiki.  "On a side note, the little bits and pieces of
>that other Ranma that I can see getting filtered through your Ranchan's
>personality are, well, kind of interesting.  For example, I can pretty
>much safely say that your Ranma, and I assume his counterpart in that
>divergent timeline of his as well, is most definitely not quite as
>'domesticated' as my own Ranchan can be at times.

Let's hear it for gross understatements. ^_^

Heh.  ^_^

>
>officially become my fiance.  I just have to work on teaching Ranma
>who's gonna be boss between us," then she smirked for a moment, "namely
>me.  At least I don't have to worry about any other girls showing up and
>complicating things.

Ohhh. She's just asking for it now.

And she's going to catch it on the chin soon enough.

I know I can handle Akane and Kodachi easily
>enough."

Famous last words

Yep.  ^_^

>
>
>     With that having been said, the lucid dream faded away to a more
>normal one.

Is it the one where she wakes up crying "Yes, Daddy! Spank me some more!"?
^_^

Ack!  DB no hentai!

>
>generation.  Her father often told Ukyou that she resembled her aunt as
>a young girl a fair amount,

Especially when it came to the hairlip problem.

QD Nabiki: He's right, you know.

QD Ukyou: What?  I'm not called the 'cute fiancee' for nothing, ya know.  At
least I'm not some tin-lated tyrant like some Tendous I could name.

QD Nabiki grumbles a bit.

 something usually said whenever she was
>being defiant.

Heh. Obviously not that compimentary.

Nope.  ^_^

 Why her Aunt Yumi was living in Tokyo was a tale that
>none of the adults ever seemed willing to tell.  Her mother had once
>admitted it was due to some sort of trouble with the Hibiki Clan when
>she had been a teenager, but Ryouga had claimed ignorance of the matter
>when Ukyou had once interrogated him about it several years ago.  All


'the one time Ukyou had interrogated him about it several years ago.' works
better IMO

Noted.

>
>     Akira Kuonji led the way into the shop, quiet now since it was long
>after the dinner rush was over.  A grin was on his face as he bellowed
>at the top of his lungs, "I hear that someone is passing off pig slop as
>okonomiyaki in these parts!"  He then paused and waited for the results.

"One pig slop okonomiyaki coming right up," the woman behind the counter
shouted.

MainRyouga: Not one word, Ranma.

MainRanma: Whatever you say, piggy.  (grinning)

^_^

>some minor activity behind the counter to hear them come in.  She was
>dressed in the typical garb of an okonomiyaki chef, seen throughout the
>Empire:

Plaid top, Bermuda shorts, and a bright red nose that would beep whenever
anyone squeezed it.

Hehehe

snug black pants, tabi shoes, a tight-fitting white undershirt,
>and a heavier, dark blue, short-sleeved shirt worn atop with the cuffs
>rolled up.

Well, I was close.

Sort of.

>
>
>     "Of course not!  It will be my pleasure," said Yumi with another
>broad smile.  She turned to study Ukyou for a moment.  "It will be nice
>to have a little help with the cooking and the cleanup.  So what do you
>say, Niece?  You up to it?"
>
>     "Just try me," said Ukyou with a smile.

"No, I don't think that will be necessary. This isn't an incestuous lemon,
after all," Yumi pointed out.

And I don't have any plans on ever making it that way.

>
>     "My husband and I trust that you will keep us informed as to how
>Ukyou is doing, Sister-in-law," said Yukiyou politely.  "I am sure that
>the experience will do her good."
>
>     "Don't worry, Yukiyou," said Yumi more seriously.  "The girl's
>family, and I'll look out for her as if she was my own daughter.

"We'll get drunk at bars and pick up cheap guys only on weekends. Fair
enough?" Yumi asked.

QD Yukiyou: Ah, just like when we were girls, eh Yumi-chan?

>
>
>     *I think I'm going to love it here,* Ukyou thought with a smile.

Well, I think I can guarentee it'll be an experience you'll never forget,
at the least.

True, and just wait until Ryouga arrives to brighten up her life.  ^_^

>station the pigtailed scholar was.  She continued driving her fists into
>the heavy punching bag she was using, a brief fantasy of doing the same
>thing to Akane Tendou the next time they fought filling her mind as she
>did so.

I'd drop the 'as she did so.' It seems unecessary.

 >     *How dare yet another one of those pushy Tendou cows try and come
>between me and Saotome-kun?* Kodachi thought with a huff as she paused
>for a brief moment.  *The very idea.  He obviously needs someone of much
>more refinement and intellect than either of those two lowborn savages
>has to offer.

Asuka the White Lily?

QD Kodachi: I think not.  (cold tones)

QD Ranma: Please, anyone but Asuka.  She scares me.

>     However, the passionate feelings Kodachi felt growing within her for
>this Ranma were quickly replacing the shy but loving regard she had once
>held for his counterpart.  Perhaps part of that was due to a certain
>indefinable 'something' that she could sense within this Ranma, a hidden
>strength of some sort that he had, one that seemed to call to her very
>femininity with an undeniable power.

Or it could be your genetic programming reacting to his presence. ^_^

That too.  ^_^

 Just the mere thought of being
>held close by him had the ability to bring a blush to her face, and her
>occasional fantasies about him kept wandering off into some very erotic
>scenes, ones that scandalized Kodachi sometimes.

The ones with the hamsters were her favorites.

And the chocolate syrup.  Don't forget that.

>
>stronger of late as her burgeoning feelings of love for Ranma grew.  At
>times, she wanted to simply grab the pigtailed boy and take him to her
>bed, to explore the limits of carnal pleasure between them.  Then, after
>their mutual desires had been fully explored and satisfied, and she lay
>there cuddled in his arms, that relaxed moment would be the time she
>would admit to Ranma her true feelings for him.

But, like most men, he would already be asleep moments after his own
'desires' had been satisfied.

QD Ranma: I would not!  I'd give her a hug first before going to sleep!

QD Akane: What was that?

QD Ranma: Ack!  It's the Thug!

QD Akane: If you want to satisfy your male needs, Ranma.  I'm perfectly
willing to help.

QD Ranma: That's what I'm afraid of.

>
>
>     "Brother dear," replied Kodachi, stopping her workout and padding
>over to one side of the mat in her bare feet to pick up a towel.  She
>dabbed at the perspiration on her face for a moment as she felt her
>energy reserves begin to recover.  "What brings you out to the training
>hall so late?"

"My legs," Kunou answered.

It's an older joke, but it still works.  ^_^

>hateful things about him in my presence, so I stilled your voice as best
>I saw fit."  She coolly returned Kunou's icy glare with one of equal
>chill, her body lightly balanced on the balls of her feet, a gesture of
>defiance that her brother ignored for the moment.

But then, he's good at ignoring things.

All the Kunous have that gift.

>
>     "I see," said Kunou sullenly.  Their gazes remained locked, and
>neither appeared willing to back down.  Strain appeared in his voice as
>he continued speaking.  "So you choose this 'scholar' over thine own
>flesh and blood?

Kodachi: Well, since I'm neither attracted to you nor into incest, the
answer is yes.

Hehe

  >He has so quickly poisoned your mind against me?"

Well, it doesn't take a whole lot, Kunou-baby

True.  Although I am going to stretch my writing skills to the limit
and start developing a personality for this bozo starting with the next
chapter.

>     His ears ringing from the unexpected blow, Kunou shook his head and
>then stared at his sister in shock.  Blood dribbled from his mouth, a
>result of his having bitten his lip during the surprise blow.  *So the
>vile knave has now brought my sweet and innocent sister to such a state
>that she would raise her hand against her own family, against her own
>brother,* he thought darkly.  *And my beloved sister is not enough for
>his base lusts.  No, he has also claimed the heart of the fair maiden
>Akane Tendou.  How I have come to loathe you for these crimes, Ranma
>Saotome.  I swear I shall avenge myself upon you for these sins, and my
>skills shall humble thee.  I swear this upon my most sacred honor and
>that of all my ancestors.*  He paused to gather his thoughts, his visage
>angry and grim.

And as we see, some things never change.

True.  The fun is in tweaking some things, and leaving other things
fairly well intact.

>past few months, changed in a manner most grievous unto me, and now I
>think I can see the reason for it.  Thy womanly, vaporous passions for
>this lowborn cretin have unhinged thy mind, and that madness has somehow
>infected our beloved parents.  I see that now."

Wow! He hit the nail right on the pointy end there.

^_^

>
>     "You are an idiot, Brother!" spat out Kodachi fiercely.  "You seek
>to guard me as if I were some little doll for you to keep 'safe' until
>you deign to find a man 'worthy' of me, then you will gladly hand me
>over to some popinjay of a chinless noble who you see as 'suitable' for
>owning me.  Perhaps someone like your friend, that lecherous Mikado
>Sanzenin, for example.

Kunou: Don't be silly. He has a chin.

Ah, the great Mikado will be having some more screen time soon, too.

QD Mikado: After all, I must woo my two loves.  The noble Kodachi and
the shy Nabiki.

QD Nabiki: Shy?

QD Ranma: I would never call Nabiki shy.  I might call her a bunch of other
things, but never shy.

QD Kodachi: Ah, but Saotome-kun will defend my chaste body from that
loathesome lecher.  (sighs happily)

QD Nabiki: In your dreams, little girl.

>
>brother dictate to her who that would be.  And she knew with certainty
>who she would have that someone be.  "I would not spend a single moment
>of time with that loathsome lothario that you call friend, save you
>trussed me up in irons and presented me as a gift for the gratification
>of his perverse pleasures.

Kunou: Odd, I seem to recall Mikado mentioning that is just the way he
would like you.

QD Mikado: Well, I do like my women compliant and unable to escape.

>
>     "Sanzenin-kun's reputation with those of the fairer sex is surely
>exaggerated," said Kunou with annoyance,

"Besides, he's gay," Kunou added.

QD Mikado: I think not.

>vessels that has ever drawn breath.*  Without thinking, he began to
>laugh with an almost maniacal edge.

Almost? ^_^

I use Jinnai of El Hazard as an example of pure maniacal laughter.  ^_^

>
>     "Kodachi," said Kensaiko thoughtfully, "fighting with your elder
>brother is not the way to settle things between siblings.

Kensaiko: Use poison. Less messy that way.

Ah, such is life among the nobility.

>
>     "And you!" snapped Kensaiko, pointing at him with her now-closed
>fan.  "How dare you take up arms against your younger sister?  Is the
>boy your father and I are considering for your sister's husband so
>repellent to you that it has caused you to take complete leave of your
>senses?"

No. Kunou's senses were gone long before Ranma came to town.

True.  Sad, but true.

>
>
>     *My brother is even more of an idiot than I dared imagine,* Kodachi
>thought with irritation.  *He refuses to admit that Saotome-kun is now
>his better in combat.*  She sighed softly, a gesture her mother noticed
>even though her brother did not.

At least that broad is perceptive.

The Kunou women are the clever ones.  Watch out for them as the story
goes on.

>
>     "Ah, Akane Tendou," said Kunou grandly, his anger forgotten as he
>bathed in his glowing memories of her.  "She is a noble beauty without
>compare, a veritable warrior goddess clothed in mortal form, filled with
>spirit and great passion.

A bit flowery, but true.

This IS Kunou, after all.

>
>     "She is of the lower nobility too, my son," said Kensaiko in that
>same grim tone.  "Why should I allow you, the heir to the vast holdings
>of our Great House, to court such a one, a girl of a family that is of
>nearly equal level to that of the Saotomes?

Heh. She has him there.

But Kunou is prone to ignoring that which does not suit him.

  I had in mind a pristine
>daughter of the high nobility for you as a wife.

ie: You're going to be the brood mare, Kunou-chan. Not Kodachi. ^_^

Heh.

>the object of my true love.  Akane Tendou has shown me a spirit and a
>strength of body that I have not seen in any of the daughters of the
>high nobility, so I look upon it as my sacred duty to take such a strong
>woman to wife and raise her to the peerage.  Then, she shall bear unto
>me strong sons to carry on the Kunou family legacy.  That her bloodline
>is of the same stature as that cursed Ranma Saotome is of no consequence
>to me.  I shall have Akane Tendou as my wife, and I shall allow none to
>gainsay my desires in this."

Heh. Nice to see he is committed to her.

Committed is one way to put it.  ^_^

>
>     *My son takes after his father far too much,* thought Kensaiko with
>a mental sigh.  *Both of them tend to only hear what they want to hear.
>It is a good thing that the women of this House are sensible enough to
>hold things together.  However, Kodachi is becoming more and more like I
>once was as a girl, and I do not know whether to be proud of her or
>annoyed.

Probably both.

Yep.

>meet Akane in person, as had been her original plan.  She gracefully
>walked over to the open window and gazed out at the night.  "Husband,
>what were you thinking?

That her genetic reengineering has made Akane superior to any normal high
born girl.

Well, that is true.

QD Akane: But I only want Ranma!

QD Ranma: Well, I don't want you.  I have my hands full already with your
sister and the other two girls.  I don't need a fourth.

QD Utena: Oh, is that so, Saotome?

QD Nabiki: Great, another cross-dresser.  One would think you like the
type, Saotome.

QD Ranma: This criticism coming from a girl who has counterparts across the
parallel timestreams who are lesbians?

QD Nabiki: I am not a lesbian!  So what if my AVST analog is in love with
Shampoo?

QD Ranma: I rest my case.

QD Nabiki: Grrr.

 This has all the makings of a disaster of epic
>proportions.  Young Ranma shows great promise to make a fine addition to
>our House, but this Akane girl is obviously ill-suited for my precious
>son as the future Lady of this House.  Far better that Tatewaki should
>simply take her to his bed as a concubine, if he truly desires her so
>strongly.  Yes, that is far more suitable a position in this House for
>one of her station.

Heh. Interesting take on Kensaiko's thoughts on Akane.

Isn't it though?

> I shall speak to my husband of that.

ie: Tell him how it's going to be.

True.

>
>     Kensaiko briefly snapped her fan open and fluttered it before her
>face, even as she contemplated which Clan to make an overture to.  After
>several moments of thought, a name suddenly occurred to her, a family
>currently rising in favor at the Imperial Court.  *And they have only a
>single daughter, still unattached, one who has so far rejected all
>suitors.  Yes, she will be perfect for my Tatewaki,* she thought with a
>pleased look.  *I believe she even shares his strong interest in
>swordplay.*

Hehehe. I know who it is. And boy is she ever going to be put off. ^_^

Shh... no telling now.  ^_^

>
>     With a smile on her face, Kensaiko went to inform her husband of the
>decision 'they' had made concerning their son's future.

Typical woman.

One might detect a note of bitterness towards the fairer sex with that remark.  ^_^

>
>
>     "But Genma dearest," said Nodoka breathlessly, as he began quickly
>undressing her when she drew near to him.  "It has only been hours since
>our last time...."

What? She's complaining?

Not really  ^_^

>
>     "Oh my, Dearest," sighed Nodoka.  "Oh, that feels so good."  She
>felt her passions rising up within her, even though Genma was still
>being a bit quicker and rougher with her than was his usual manner.  In
>an odd way, it seemed to be adding to her excitement, almost as if he
>was a stranger to her.  She felt quite risque.

Boy, QD Genma is going to be really pissed when he finds out his wife was
enjoying S 1/2 Genma's 'action'. ^_^

While he has been practicing abstinence, you mean?  You better believe it.  ^_^

>                    ******************************
>
>     Ranma slipped off his shirt, wincing a little at some of the deep
>bruises on his body.  Despite the pains he endured,

he had endured

>Nabiki's aid in this one instance was for a good cause, as long as she
>followed his lead and did not try to order him around like she clearly
>seemed to want to do whenever she was around him.

heh. Good luck.

Who will lead and who will follow?  A theme I am exploring here.  ^_^

>
>     Before he fell asleep, Ranma also made plans on taking some time to
>pound his 'father' into a fine paste sometimes

sometime

>
>     "You had me a little worried today, bookworm," said a voice suddenly
>behind Ranma's right shoulder.  He turned around and saw the other Ranma
>behind him, dressed in a red shirt and black gi pants.

Which one? He's got two running around in his head.

I suppose I could put little numbers on their forehead or something.

>
>     "Nabiki cursed to turn into a guy is just too damn funny for words,"
>said the other Ranma, pausing to watch as a few random memories floated
>by, drifting like soap bubbles in the breeze.  "I wish I could see the
>look on my Nabiki's face if she ever learned that."  He watched a memory
>float by, one originating from another world, of a slightly different
>Shampoo beating up Kodachi in the gymnastics ring.  An odd look appeared
>on his face.

Ah, so it's mainstream Ranma then.

Yep.

>
>     "I beat her once, and I can beat her again," said Ranma confidently.
>"Those Amazon techniques from that other world helped."

I can just see S 1/2's Ranma's disembodied voice shouting out something
like 'Damn straight they did, Bookworm!" He'd be more than happy to take
the credit.

I can see it too.  ^_^

>
>     A thought suddenly struck Ranma, and asked, "Just out of curiosity,
>where is that other Ranma?"
>
>     "He's back there somewhere, I guess," said his counterpart, casually
>gesturing at the Tendou household.  It was sort of hazy-looking, as if a
>fog had rolled in over it.  "It's kinda hard to explain."

Heh. So they are still seperate identities.

Yep.  More fun for me as the author that way.

>
>>     "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you to start training yourself even
>harder, bookworm," said the other Ranma with a grin as the scene began
>to fade to a hazy whiteness.  "You'd better be prepared to beat your
>Nabiki again after she trains herself some more, 'cause there's no way
>in hell that I ever wanna see any Ranma second best to a chick.

Actually he could never tolerate being second best to anyone, not just
girls.

True, but adding in the male pride thing makes it doubly emphasized in this
case.

>
>     "Ranma Saotome is the _true_ Heir to the Anything-Goes School of
>Martial Arts," said the other Ranma confidently.  "No girl is ever going
>to claim that while I have anything to say about it."
>
>     The dream imploded with an inaudible pop, reverting to the regular
>chaos of normal dreams.

Is it the one where he wakes up shouting, "Spank me harder, Mother?" ^_^

I keep flashing on Monty Python and the Holy Grail now.

>
>     *I should have heard from the boy before now,* thought Genma with
>great concern.  He paused for a moment to study this version of Nodoka
>in the dim light, looking so fragile and alone in bed by herself.  He
>sighed softly at the sight, wondering what his own Nodoka was doing, how
>she was managing to cope without him.

Don't worry about her. Lots of hot sex going on.

True.

>present bulk, he felt as fat as one of those lazy panda bears in the
>public zoo,

Heh. The comparison made all the more ironic by the fact he has no curse
here.

Hehe.  Yep.

>
>attractive.  He had been home with her for almost two days, and he was
>still keeping her at arm's length.

I can't see that lasting long.

You are likely right.  S1/2 Nodoka is determined to change that, for one thing.

>detected some very familiar noises coming from the backyard, the quite
>distinctive sounds of someone doing martial arts training.  Yawning,
>dressed in only a long shirt, Shampoo opened the window of her small
>room, expecting to see 'Pop' working out with Ranma, but she only saw
>Genma training by himself.  She leaned out the window, wondering to
>herself in a soft whisper, "What Pop doing?  Lazy Pop never train this
>hard before."

Not without Ranma around, anyway.

Yep.

>
>     Unaware that he now had an audience, Genma kept at his exertions,
>rather pleased and surprised at his new body's performance.  Despite the
>annoyingly thick layers of fat on it, this body had very good endurance,

he is still able to give Ranma a good work out, so I should say so.

And he will get a little better with some dedication.

>like a daughter, for some reason that she could not fathom.  That notion
>had been gradually building up since the three of them arrived on her
>doorstep.  *Could he perhaps want Shampoo to marry Ranma?  It would be
>the manly thing for Ranma to do, after all.  How else will I ever get
>grandchildren?*

heh. Since she didn't get much of a chance to raise Ranma, it isn't
surprising she's eager for grandchildren to help raise.

You got that right.  Of course, she could also still have an interest in having
another child.  Nodoka is still relatively young, after all.

>     *What the hell is that old man up to?* wondered Ranma suspiciously
>as he watched Shampoo sparring with Genma.  He had just woken up due to
>another odd dream, but apparently not early enough.  This one had him
>acting as some sort of spear-carrier to a martial artist Nabiki, herself
>the Heir to the Anything-Goes School and a far more capable fighter than
>he was.  *Yeah, right, as if that could ever happen,* he snorted.  *No
>way that I'd ever be second-best to any chick.*

Yeah. That would be a version of hell for this Ranma.

QD Ranma: Tell me about it.

QD Nabiki: What was that?

QD Ranma: Nothing.

>
>they had so quickly found something in common between them.  She stirred
>the soup she was making, adding a few small pinches of salt and spices.
>As she did so, her eyes lit up and she bopped her head lightly with one
>fist as she smiled more ruefully.  *I forgot to tell him about his date
>with Ukyou later today.  I'll let him know while he eats his breakfast.*

Oops.

Hehe

>
>
>     *That little punk has no respect for his elders,* Genma thought
>angrily, vaguely remembering the brutal beating he had received during
>his attempt at sparring with Ranma.  *Ungrateful boy!  Even if it kills
>me, I'll regain the proud physique I had before I was trapped in this
>pathetic shell, and then I'll show him what a true master of the martial
>arts is capable of.*

true. he is hamstrung by the fact this body is so out of shape.

But don;t think that QD Ranma is enjoying that.  No, don't think that.  ^_^

>
>     His adrenaline surge finally giving out, Genma collapsed facedown on
>the floor of the kitchen, unconscious.

Heh. Very nice work. With any luck, I might get to the second half
tomorrow.

D.B. Sommer

Off to the second part.

JK