As I'm having some trouble with getting into my main account
I've switched to this backup temporarily.
-Shade
I'd like to thank several writers, who's
fics have proved that yes, I can get away with this (that
means you, Shade).
Domo Arigato. Always nice to see other people coming up
with stories that are just as strange as mine!
So C and shining C!
Title Pending (suggestions welcome, X-over From Hell maybe?)
by Andrew Wilson (templar@softcom.net)
Drizzt and Cattie-brie's Excellent Adventure!
*******
It was a place outside normal space and time. Many treasure
hunters had searched for it, hoping to find lost artifacts.
It is rumored to store the Arc of the Covenant, the Holy
Grail, Excaliber, the Cosmic Forge, or Elvis, depending on
the source asked.
Viva Las Vegas!
"And if our paths should ever cross again," Drizzt Do'Urden
said to Harkle Harpell, "I would be honored by your
company."
Cattie-brie concentrated on keeping the false smile on her
face. If she had to spend another minute in the company of
the Harpell clan, she would surely go mad.
Actually they're not that bad. You just don't want to
be anywhere nearby when they cast a spell. Friendly folks,
but with a unique view of magic.
The two companions had retrieved their horses and were about
to exit the mansion grounds when an explosion ripped apart a
corner of the house. They had enough time to mutter a few
choice words about wizards and workshops and the Harpell
family before being swept up by a wave of blue energy.
Sadly, this is *normal* for the Harpells.
Another attacked dodged. "Gee pig-boy, between you, the old
ghoul, the old pervert, the bimbo, the tomboy, Kuno, and all
the other assorted idiots that keep attacking me, yes I do
have to ask that."
Note: Ranma has never considered Shampoo to be a bimbo.
Violent, yes. Cute, definitely. Scary, occasionally. But
never a bimbo.
Drizzt was doing his best to ignore the headache that had
suddenly developed, but was not succeeding very well. In
front of him were two figures that appeared to be elves,
though there was something strange about their ears, and one
of them seemed to be a drow.
Okay, this part I have problems with. A drow, especially
a *female* one, would get more of his attention then that.
As he is a renegade, practically the entire Drow race is
after his heart(to be served to Lolth on a silver platter).
Especially considering this is taking place after a war with
the Dark elves.
The pale blurred image resolved itself into a blond elf as
Ranma regained consciousness. *Wait a minute,* he though,
*elves don't exist!*
thought
"Hold on a minute," he said, wiggling out of her embrace,
"who are you?"
Her eyes began to tear up. "You don't remember?"
Too coherent for Ranma, his experience with girls hugging him
can be measured in a thimble with room to spare. (Glomps not included)
"Simple," Pirotess said, "you, Ranma, are Parn, and Ryoga is
Ashram. I spend four centuries searching, and have watched
you for a while now. Why do you think that you have never
truly been able to love anyone? Why are you men of honor,
in an age where honor is seen as a weakness? I could name a
thousand reasons, but I won't. You know what I say is
true."
Okay, I'm having trouble with the Ashram as Ryoga thing.
It just doesn't seem to fit right, plus that kind of *buddy*
thing between them has been done to death. How about
using Mousse or Pantyhose Taro? Hell, if you want to
make it even more messed up, how about Ukyo as Ashram?
"So we don't open a dimensional rift to some ungodly place."
Pirotess answered. "We have enough problems without
attracting trouble from a demon. Because of the magical
energy on this world, demons can enter completely, not just
sending a portion like on other worlds."
"What about banished demons?" Drizzt asked.
"If they are banished from another world they may still come
here." Pirotess noticed the looked passed between the two
companions. "Is something wrong?"
Well this one is an iffy thing. If you're going by AD&D rules
Errtu can't pop up because this is still the Prime Dimensional
plane, no matter which planet they happen to be on at the time.
Pallidium is more complicated as you can actually *kill* demons
for good no matter where they happen to be.
"We may be in danger here. Whatever caused us to be here
may have also attracted the attention of a Balor that has
great hatred for me."
"What did you do to it?"
"I bested it in single combat."
With some help from his pet panther. ^_^
Deedlit had to regain use of her jaw before speaking. "A
balor? One on one, and you beat it? Is this true?" Both
nodded, and Pirotess gave a low whistle. "That's amazing!"
"Not so amazing," Drizzt said, drawing Icingdeath, "this
sword does not like creatures of fire."
Heh, Balors are the second most powerful class of Demons
in the Abyss. Their amazement is justified, as is Drizzt's
modesty.
*******
Ryoga's eye's fluttered open. It was still night, but the
campfire had burned low. "How long was I asleep?"
eyes
"And what do you want," a third voice asked, "what are your
ambitions?" The pair looked up to see Drizzt's lavender
eyes glowing in the night.
The wrong answer earns a scimitar in your heart!
"I have no such appetites. I could say that all I want is
to grow old with the one I love, but that would be boring.
Right now all I wish is to be free of my curse, so that I
may be a true man again."
Um, this early in the Ranma 1/2 series the guy is still
infatuated with Akane. Pretty OOC even considering the
circumstances.
"Aye. Someone without eyes or ears could tell ye were
coming."
*Blink*
That *IS* sloppy for him!
A smile. "Nay. Cutter won't be a problem unless things get
boring."
"That seems to be the topic of discussion lately. Though I
doubt that will happen."
Understatement of the century, my dear.
"Think about it. Our world has enough hero's to last a good
long time. Here, if Deedlit tells us right, is a world in
need of a hero like Drizzt Do'Urden."
They have heroes in Rifts Earth, just that they're outnumbered
a couple hundred million to one by the bad guys!
"They're going nowhere. I talked with them while ye did yer
patrol. Their home, Lodoss they called it, might be a
little too calm for the likes of them. So they want to stay
here. As fer home, the Harpells will know how we
disappeared, and will start searching fer us. By the time
they find us, we'll either go, or send a message back home.
Besides, on this world drow are as rare a roc's teeth, so ye
don't have to worry about any bad reputation. The only
thing I be wondering is how we can understand their words."
*Bzzzt* The people of this world tend to dislike D-bees,
and Drizzt is gonna be considered a D-bee. And since he can use
magic and possesses magical artifacts he's not going to find life
here any easier then in Toril. Not to mention that most of the Demons
probably *will* recognize him as a Drow, they've got quite a reputation.
"When it rains, you will understand." Drizzt chuckled at
that thought.
Okay, how did he find out about the curse?
When none of them objected, he placed
the figure on the ground. "Guenhwyvar, come to me my
shadow."
Uh oh. I have a bad feeling about this.
A red blur streaked through the assembly and collided with
the cat, forming a red and black ball of fur, flesh, and
aggression. By the time Guenhwyvar was able to free
herself, the panthers flesh was torn is several places.
Drizzt quickly stepped between his friend and the now
berserk Ranma. Even four decades of combat training and
experience were no match for the ferocity of the cat-fist.
By the time the elves managed to restrain Ranma with their
spells, Drizzt had been swatted aside, bleeding from several
small cuts. Only the enchantments of his weapons kept them
from being destroyed.
Note, the Catfist doesn't automatically turn Ranma hostile to
cats or people. He just attacks people or creatures that threaten
him or he knows to be bad(like his father).
"It's gone," Deedlit said, "don't worry. It's not here..."
she trailed off when she noticed the expression on
Cattie-brie's face. The look was a combination of
disbelief, horror, and a warning about impending
unconsciousness.
She should be familar with magic.
"How... what.... who..." Cattie-brie looked to Drizzt, who
was busy laughing at the scene. "And what do ye find so
funny?"
"After all this time," Drizzt replied, "and all that we have
seen, does a little magical shape change cause for such a
reaction?"
Yes, that's more like it!
"Why?" Ranma asked, approaching the horse as though it was
going to attack her.
"Let me ask you this," Pirotess replied, "what do you do in
unfamiliar territory surrounded by many potentially hostile
beings?"
Ranma appeared to think about this for a second. "Start
kicking ass and taking names?"
Everyone but the two martial artists had to pick their jaws
up off the ground. And even Cattie-brie's sword sent a
mental message of *you have got to be kidding* to her.
And people wonder how the Saotome line survived long enough
to produce Ranma.
"I see. Now, if you met someone who had trained under the
best instructors for over fifteen years, and then spent
another ten battling for survival in one of the most hostile
environments known, would you head his advise?"
advice
Another collective jaw dropping. Ryoga slapped Ranma on the
back of her head. "Idiot. This is worse than anything that
old lecher could do."
Pot calling the kettle black here.
Ranma snorted, "'Claim?' I'm the best there is."
"Would you like to spar them?" Drizzt asked, pulling out a
pair of padded sheaths for his scimitars.
"Bring it on." Ranma said, cracking his knuckles.
"No weapon?"
"Weapons are a crutch. No true warrior relies on them.
They only hinder you."
*laughing so hard that tears start pouring out*
They faced off. Ranma gave a short bow, while Drizzt only
saluted with Twinkle. The others stood a distance back,
trying to predict the outcome. Ryoga bet that Ranma would
win, Cattie-brie bet on Drizzt, Deedlit said a tie, while
Pirotess just watched.
Rowan, Shadow, the Bard: "Drizzt."
Guardian: "Hey, even I'm not stupid enough to bet on that!"
*******
"Drizzt," everyone said at once.
Of course. The Dark Elf doesn't even fight fair!
And he's got what, 40+ years of combat experience
to rely on.
Now what I'd like to see would be a fight
between Kenshin(RK) and Drizzt!
They broke apart, and began circling again. Neither had
gained and advantage, save that each knew a trick the other
could, and would, pull. With inhuman (and even greater than
any drow) speed Drizzt charged in, his blades forming a
barrier, streaked with Twinkles blue glow. Ranma's hands
shot through the barrier, moving at a speed that was, at
least for all but two present, quite insane. Both withdrew
yet again, Drizzt sporting a few small bruises, while
Ranma's arms were a covered with large ones.
"Care to see how you would fare in armed combat?" Drizzt
asked.
He's using the bracers as anklets again?
"Against you, I doubt anyone would win."
Truer words were never spoken.
"He spent ten years with his father on the road thinking
nothing but the art," Ryoga said.
"Indeed, that sound much like my own upbringing."
Scary thought, isn't it!
On the other side,
there was a human woman sparring with one of the greatest
swordsmen in the megavese, and not losing by very much.
He's holding back of course, she's good but Drizzt is the best.
"True. But you're going to tell them about guns."
"I though we agreed that you would."
"No, we agreed that you would tell them about the weapons,
and I would tell them about all the other technology."
Uh, they should know about guns. It's lasers and
power armors that are gonna be new to them.
Unless you're talking about the *other* two.
"Fine," with that the dark elf walked off, unsure of how she
would explain thing she herself only half understood.
*Snicker* that should prove interesting.
Any gamers want stats for these six? I'm working on that. I
will accept suggestions.
Drizzt is listed as 16th level Ranger by AD&D (I disagree with them,
putting him more along the lines of 20-25th level.)
Cattie-brie was a 5th level fighter (another one I disagree with,
suggest 9-12th level.)
Ranma: 7th level Martial artist (this is relatively early in the series)
_______________________________________________________
Visit Excite Shopping at http://shopping.excite.com
The fastest way to find your Holiday gift this season