Let's see. Well your shifting around tends to be somewhat confusing. Esp. in ch. 4 at the beginning. Though I did know what you were going for, I think if you would lead into your flashbacks a little more as oppossed to starting them with no prior notice this would clear up a little of the problem.

Someone mentioned tense problems earlier. I agree with that. But overall I really enjoyed it! I'm a pretty open-minded sort of guy and believe that anythings pretty possible, and because this is sorta a what-if fic I really don't think that gobs and gobs of stuff have to happen to lead up to the character changes. Though how you are leading up to it with the flashbacks is quite good!

Hmmm one other thing "seven articles of clothing away from making sweet love." Sounds more like Chef (South Park)than Ranma but I'm no real expert in the field... : )

Like I said, I like the story and aside from the above stated nitpic's like your writing style as well. I look foward to seeing you continue this. Keep up the good work!

                              -Greg


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