Funny! FUNNYFUNNYFUNNY! Side-splittingly, back-breakingly,
seizure-inducingly FUNNY!
But what I *expected* to read was this:
"Welcome to the PokeShop. May I help you?"
"I would like to complain about this Pokemon I purchased not half an hour
ago from this very boutique."
"Oh yes, the Norwegian Pikachu. What's wrong with it?"
"I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's DEAD, that's what's wrong with
it!"
"No, no, he's uh,...he's resting."
"Look, I know a dead Pikachu when I see one. And I'm looking at one right
now."
"No no he's not dead, he's, he's resting! Remarkable Pokemon, the
Norwegian Pikachu, isn't it? Beautiful coat!"
"The coat don't enter into it. It's stone dead!"
"No, no! He's resting!"
"All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up!
HELLOOOOOO, PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOOOO-HOOO!!! Ashe and Misty want to
playyyy!!!
(thwack, thwack, plop) Now that's what *I* call a dead Pokemon."
"No, no! He's stunned!"
"Stunned?!"
"Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Pikachus stun
easily, you know."
"Look here, I've had quite enough of this. That Pokemon is definitely
deceased, and when I purchased it less than half an hour ago, you assured
me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged
out following a prolonged shock."
"Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the forest."
"PINING FOR THE FOREST?! What kind of talk is that?! Look, why did he
fall flat on his back the moment I got him home?"
"The Norwegian Pikachu prefers staying on it's back! Remarkable Pokemon,
isn't it? Lovely coat!"
"Screw the coat. Look, I took the liberty of examining that Pikachu when I
got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been standing
upright in the first place was that it had been glued to its cage!"
"Well, of course it was glued! If I hadn't glued that Pikachu down, it
would grabbed the bars, bent them open with its bare paws and FOOM!"
"'FOOM?' This Pokemon wouldn't "foom" if you set it on fire! He's
bleedin' demised!"
"No no! He's pining!"
"He's not pining! He's passed on! This Pokemon is no more! He has ceased
to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of
life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't glued him to his cage he'd be
pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's
bought the farm! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal
coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible!!
THIS... IS AN EX-POKEMON!!"
"Well, I'd better replace it, then."
"I swear, to get any satifaction these days, you've got to complain until
you're blue in the face."
With great apologies to Monty Python and all those who have read this
far...
------RM