Sickness and a new story appearing out of nowhere delayed my reply.
Sorry about that.
Snipped most of the grammar stuff as Lara has elected to deal with
that.
On Sun, 26 Dec 1999 09:26:59 -0500 DB Sommer <sommer@3rdm.net> wrote:
Just looking at the two author's names makes my instincts cry out to delete
this. But since I am a masochist at heart...
You know Lara is going to get you for saying that. :)
C+Cing as I go along.
Warning: Some people will find certain elements of this
fanfic disturbing. The authors will not be held
accountable for any mental and/or physical damage
caused due to the reading of this fic.
Isn't that sort of like siccing a pack of wild dogs on someone and then
saying 'don't blame me if they bite you'? ^_^
No, it's more like a warning on a fence saying "Danger:
Rabid Pitbulls" before you jump the fence to get your
ball. You're compelled to go, but there's still
a certain amount of free-will involved.
We could have put the warning at the end. :)
"Do I have to do this?" Shinji whined.
"What are you complaining about? I thought
you'd enjoy it," Asuka told him.
"Maybe. But do I really have to wear this
outfit? It's chafing me."
"Stop complaining, dummkopf! This is to help
us get into the mood. Now bend over!"
nice dialogue.
Thank you! I wrote this first bit as a quick spamfic
that I sent to Lara. She responded with a bit of fic
of her own and that's how the whole thing got started.
Never, in my wildest dreams, did expect it to snowball
into this.
Outraged, Misato burst into the room, only to
walk in on Asuka, dressed as Commander Ikari,
straightening out the collar of Shinji, dressed as Sub-
commander Fuyutsuki. They both turned to look at her
in surprise.
That's just what I though they were doing.
Really.
Suure, I believe you. Really, I mean it. :p
Asuka adjusted her glasses and asked, "What
seems to be the problem, Misato?"
Misato didn't know how to respond to that.
Grab a beer.
The
only thing that she did know was that she needed a beer
and fast.
See.
It's Misato. That's her solution to everything.
***
"Well, at first I thought they were doing...
you know, something weird.
Dressing up as Gendou and Fuyutsuki, weird? Nonononono.
It could be worse. Don't make me write another spamfic
on what else they could have been doing.
I bust in, and I thought I
was going to have a heart attack."
Ritsuko was giving her friend a faintly amused
look as she explained what had happened the previous
day. "What were they doing? Having a civil
conversation?"
Nothing that unbelievable.
Actually, they get along pretty well outside of combat
or stressful situations. We're not talking about
Akane and Ranma here.
Misato nodded guiltily, spared one glance back
at the commander, and found something else to do.
I'd recommend getting another drink. I doubt if it's going to get any
better for her.
Been reading ahead? :)
Shinji, beet red, finally gave in. "All right,
I'll do it. I'll ask her!"
Asuka smiled and patted him on the head in a
both affectionate and condescending manner.
A perfect blend of words there to characterize Asuka. Very nice.
Any more compliements and I'll be blushing. *^_^*
"Um..." Shinji started.
Rei only stared back at him.
"Um..."
"Get to it, you idiot!" Asuka shouted from a
concealed location.
Shinji glanced around, startled, while Rei
continued to stare.
heh. Still perfect interaction with the three of them.
Would you believe that I hadn't seen NGE for months
before starting this fic, and then only to get the
dialogue for the re-enactments? I guess they're just
memorable characters.
Shinji ignored Asuka, concentrating on the door
before him. How would Rei react, seeing him like he
was now?
She'll blink.
Oh yes. And breathe. She does that too.
She smiles and blushes. Granted there are about as
common as a lunar eclipse, but they do happen.
Rei's only reaction was to blink once, nod, and
follow Shinji into the apartment.
You forgot to mention her breathing.
Shinji is the one who does all the breathing in this fic.
Though Kozo had to admit he was feeling a
little uncomfortable himself.
I don't know. This sounds like a run on, almost.
It's a sentence fragment, but in this case it works.
"Right in front of Rei. She _is_ our audience.
Don't you know anything?"
"You could help me at least. It's heavy!"
"Stop whining! All you ever do is whine.
Well, it's not like he has a spine.
A fact Asuka knows all too well.
"Why is Asuka dressed like Commander Ikari?"
Shinji: She is? I hadn't noticed.
Hmm. Now that I think about it. I wonder just how much it would take to
drive Rei crazy.
For Rei II, probably impossible. The first Rei was
crazy, and I think the third one ends up being nuts
too.
Rei nodded. "What am I to do?"
"Just sit there and tell us what you think at
the end." Asuka then turned to Shinji and said, "All
set? Right, let's start now."
Oh ho. This should be fun.
I hope so, or all this effort would be for nothing. :)
"Will you start the damn tape already!" Asuka
shouted, still keeping her eyes forward and hands out
before her.
hehehe. Nice imagery, even with the minimal wording here.
Lara and I tend to be somewhat minimalist in our writing,
which is one of the reasons the various parts blend
together so well.
"I still do not understand. I did not find
your performance believable."
I thought it was good, but then, I'm not hard to please, either. ^_^
Rei as a critic is every actor's nightmare.
I'll be so good that you won't be able to
tell the difference between me and the real Commander
Ikari!"
Ohh. Asuka with a beard. This I must see.
No, Gendo's going to shave it off and dye his hair red. :)
"Pen-Pen," he said suddenly, "pretend you're
me."
The bird looked at him quizzically.
"But I have a spine. It'll never work" Pen-Pen thought.
Pen-Pen comes back with a slug.
"Wark!" translation-> "This can play you better than I
could ever hope to."
Misato got home, needing a beer very badly.
Another day, another Angel, another dollar. "I'm
home," she called out, and in return, heard a ruckus
>from the kitchen.
For a moment, she said a silent prayer,
that would go unanswered
She didn't realize that the same two dieties she were
praying to, were the ones who were doing this to her
in the first place. And sadly, in the end she's too
drunk to get any revenge.
That was... new, and different...
The panicked squawking of Pen-Pen convinced her
to look over at the poor penguin's situation which was
even more new... and different. The clanking of pans
was his doing, as he stood on a chair at the stove.
He was dressed in a miniature commander's
uniform and someone had outfitted him with a penguin-
sized pair of glasses. He was working frantically with
a waffle iron, turning out waffle after waffle. In
fact, there was a plate of waffles at least a foot
high, and the tub of batter didn't look like it was
going to run out any time soon.
Well, I just felt a million or so brain cells die picturing that one.
Blame Lara. Just about everything of a disturbing
nature is her fault. I had trouble with this when
I first read it too, though my trouble was more from
laughing too hard to continue reading.
"Make me some waffles!" Asuka screamed,
followed by Shinji's howl of pain.
"I..." Misato started quietly. "I mustn't run
away. I mustn't run away," she repeated, staring into
the kitchen.
Wah ha! Perfect.
This, like most of the really good stuff, we discussed
the way to handle it beforehand in IRC. Another reason
the parts blend well.
As it was, he simply scowled at the fact that
people thought he did so little.
"That's just not right at all," he mumbled.
Heh.
He shouldn't complain. He's luck he's in an NGE fic
at all.
"Well, after Shinji wimps out and refuses to
pilot Unit-01, Commander Ikari tells Fuyutsuki to have
Rei do it. We can try that scene."
"So I am to play myself?" Rei asked.
Now watch her screw up her lines. ^_^
Rei gets all the lines perfectly, it's the delivery
that she has problems with.
Asuka was standing, dressed as Commander Ikari,
facing away from Shinji, who was dressed as Sub-
commander Fuyutsuki, with Rei, in her school outfit,
next to him. Asuka had an SDAT player concealed in one
of her gloved hands and a slight smile on her face that
Shinji was finding particularly disturbing.
She'll probably be running NERV when this is all over, and no one will be
able to tell the difference.
Asuka running NERV? Say good-bye world.
"Is that wise?" Shinji asked, anger seeping
into his voice. He was starting to think that the real
point of all this was for Asuka to find new ways of
humiliating him.
Probably.
Nah, that's just an unexpected bonus.
Gendo was wearing. "She's doing it wrong, eh? And
just what about her performance is wrong?"
Gendo didn't change his grin. "It is
sufficient to say that her performance is... lacking."
This is...bad.
It could be. He could have decided that the Children
all needed 'Gendo' lessons.
***
"Fine, we'll do this scene here. Rei is
Commander Ikari, I'll be Ritsuko, and Shinji will be
Misato."
"What?" Shinji practically yelled. "Why do I
have to play Misato?"
Becuase you're the only one that drink anywhere near as much as her.
No, it's because Stone Cold Asuka Langley said so and
that's the bottom line! :p
"Of course. Unless we defeat the Angels,
mankind has no future."
"Wark?" Pen-Pen as Fuyutsuki queried.
Rei only smiled slightly in response.
Heh. She is good.
She's spent more time observing Commander Ikari than
the other two children put together.
"Wark?" the bird squawked, offering Shinji the
can.
"Um, no thank you," Shinji told him, waving the
beer away. Ever since the whole waffle incident, Pen-
Pen had been acting as if he were Shinji's pet instead
of Misato's.
Don't wanna know why.
Okay, so I won't tell you then. :)
Shinji was about to get up and put it back in
the fridge when the sound of mad laughter drifted in
>from Asuka's room. He felt another chill that had
nothing to do with the cold beer in his hands, and
suddenly didn't want to go anywhere near a fridge at
the moment.
Hehehehehe.
Shinji is just racking up the mental disorders now.
Another day and Shinji and Asuka were setting
up for their next scene while waiting for Rei to
arrive. Shinji was feeling particularly nervous, since
any time he asked Asuka what scene they were going to
be doing, she got this evil smile and told him that it
was a secret.
Shinji: I must run away. I must run away.
Shinji knows that Asuka would just find him and make
whatever it is worse, so he takes it like a man and
does whatever she tells him to.
Just what was really going on? More
importantly, did he really want to know? On the other
hand, it was Misato's apartment...
which means he already knows how weird she can get, so it wouldn't make any
difference. ^_^
God, Kaji lived with Misato for a while. You'd think
that he'd be used to strange things by now.
Finding himself out-maneuvered again, Shinji
decided to try a different tactic. He told Asuka, "Why
don't we swap roles?"
"What? Are you crazy? I can't play Kaji!"
But it would be so much more fun that way.
Asuka isn't going there and neither are we.
Okay, maybe a little bit at the end. :)
"Don't worry about that, just start the scene!"
Asuka shouted as she went to put back Misato's leg
razor.
Cute. Women's hygene jokes are usually good for a laugh (or slap, depending
on the mood of women around you.)
It was Lara's idea, so I thought it was safe.
Besides, for a women's hygene joke, this one is mild.
Shinji could feel his arms shaking as he
wrapped them around Rei from behind. Asuka had been
quite insistent that they couldn't just do the dialogue
>from this scene, they had to act it all out. Shinji
was very careful to touch Rei as lightly as possible
while avoiding certain parts of her anatomy.
Not that he had not already groped her once, and he hadn't been that
impressed anyway. ^_^
That had been an accident though, and Asuka wasn't watching
then either.
Shinji took another deep breath and used every
ounce of his will to stop his hands from shaking.
Then, very slowly, he touched Rei's chin and turned her
face towards him. Then he almost burst out laughing
when he saw the "mole" Asuka had drawn on Rei. It was
a little oval drawn in "chocolate"-scented brown
marker.
Heh. Nice touch on Asuka's part, though I still don't know what she's
really up to yet.
They've been hints, but you'd practically have to be a
mind-reader to get them at this point.
Shinji turned to face the direction that Rei
had indicated and started to instinctively hide behind
her. There in the hallway stood Asuka, wearing one of
Misato's jackets, and giving them both the full force
of her glare of death.
Not that I think her glare is all that different from Misato's to begin
with.
I don't know about that. Asuka has had much more practice
with her glare than Misato has. Asuka uses hers every day.
to deal with
women was not something passed on from father to son.
Of course, considering how Gendou has treated some of the women in his
life, perhaps that's a good thing.
But would this be true from Kaji's POV?
plain and simple," he said to himself. That scene with
Rei had been... pitiful. Completely pitiful. If
Shinji couldn't handle himself with her, he couldn't
handle himself with any female...
In fact, it seemed that "handling himself"
would be as far as he ever got.
"Poor kid."
Of course, considering how Kaji handles the primary woman in his life,
perhaps that's a good thing. ^_^
Tis better to have loved and lost, then to end up reacting
the hostpital scene from EoE over and over again. :p
"Are you doubting my judgment?" Asuka asked,
her tone bordering on angry.
"No," he replied, shoulders slumped.
"I don't have any doubts about thinking your judgement is shitty." Shinji
said
Shinji doesn't have enough spine to think it, much less
say it.
***
Shinji was soon finding out that Asuka made a
much better drill sergeant than an acting coach. She
had distilled the three characters down to a few basic
moves which she made him practice over and over again.
There was also the riding crop she had gotten from
somewhere.
Now all she needs is knee high, stiletto heel leather boots
and...nevermind.
I was thinking of adding a monocole, actually, but decided
against it.
"Switch to Maya!" Crack!
Shinji pulled off the glasses and put them in
his pocket. Ruffling his hair a bit, he said in the
highest pitch he could reach, "There's an Angel
approaching, sempai!"
"You forgot to bat your eyelashes!
Nah. She only does that for Ritsuko. ^_^
And who's going to be playing Rits in the next scene? :)
Misato knew that Rei would patiently wait for
the whole story and simply accept it without a
question. Misato also knew that this was a dubious
comfort since Rei would accept anything a commanding
officer told her. *Any port in a storm,* Misato
thought as she rang Rei's doorbell.
Misa-chan is going to be sooooo disapointed.
Pity disspointment isn't the only thing she's going
to feel.
Misato was wondering how Rei had gotten that
familiar black uniform, especially in her size, when
the First Child adjusted her glasses with a white-
gloved hand and asked, "Is something the matter, Major
Katsuragi?"
Misato did the first thing that occurred to
her. She screamed and ran as far away from "Commander
Rei Ikari" as she could.
It's time for Misato to retire, I think. She'll live longer.
Considering her job, that was true from day one.
Actually, you think she'd snap before too long and start playing along,
acting like Shiniji or Asuka or something. ^_^
We're saving that for the sequel. :p
(Which has basically no chance of getting written)
"I would rather play Commander Ikari."
Asuka was a little taken aback by the steel in
Rei's normally apathetic voice. "Sorry Wondergirl,
he's just not in this scene. But you can be the
commander in the scene we do after this one, all
right?"
Asuka was even more surprised at Rei's slight
smile as the blue-haired girl nodded and said, "Thank
you, Langely-san."
Hmm. Methinks this bodes ill (or bodes more humor, as the case might be)
Eitherway, it's not good for someone.
"Are you ready, Ikari-kun?"
Shinji was snapped back to reality to find Rei
staring right at him. She looked cute and somewhat
silly in Misato's red jacket, which was a number of
sizes too big for her. It made her seem smaller, more
vulnerable.
Hmm. Yes. I can see that. Nice visualization.
Thanks, I tried to keep most of the description to
a minium in my sections, focusing on the dialogue, but
then Lara did that as well.
"Perhaps a lapse in security?"
Realization dawned on the sub-commander.
"That's exactly it. The records of..."
"Everything that's gone on in the command
center up to this point. They've obtained them and
have studied them quite carefully."
"But... how? The security..."
Ah now, he knows Asuka is disgustingly bright (she has graduated from a
university, after all). If anyone could have figured out how to sneak those
tapes out, it would be her. She just needs motivation is all.
Originally, I decided on this from the way the security
in NERV seems so lax, despite it's great importance, but
Asuka _is_ smarter than the average girl.
Ritsuko stared up blearily at the ceiling of
her apartment. A missing lab coat, Maya acting all
strange, Misato babbling at her, the techs looking like
frightened rabbits, Kaji's odd behavior, Shinji's
strange reluctance around women...
Ritsuko relaxed. Everything seemed disgustingly normal lately.
When I first read this, I had a image of Shinji running
away screaming from Ritsuko. Guess he wasn't that
reluctant. :p
again, causing Toji and Kensuke to have an argument
over who Shinji had been staring at this time, Asuka or
Rei, or rather which parts of them he'd been staring
at. Words he had normally associated with KFC had
taken on entirely different meaning.
Ah ha., So the guys accused Shinji of staring at the girls' 'cole slaw.'
Yeah, that's what Rei's hair looks like when its wet. :)
same reason. Stuck in a corner, Shinji fell back on
his basic instinct whenever dealing with Asuka: just
agree with whatever she said.
Actually, that can be applied to all women.
Not true. Sometimes agreeing is the last thing you
want to do. It's much safer to plead the fifth and
run away.
Shinji stood before Pen-Pen's private fridge,
wondering how to get the bird's attention.
Actually, Pen-Pen would probably be the best source for advice left to
Shinji.
Let's face it, at this point Pen-Pen is the sole source
of sanity in this world.
With a nasty grin, Asuka walked over and took
his arm. "Here, allow me to help you." Then she
shoved his head in the sink and turned the cold tap all
the way.
"Waaaahhhh!" Shinji yelled,
Wimp.
Yeah, but this is Shinji, so what do you expect?
Besides, saw this happen once. It wasn't a pretty sight.
To his surprise, she smiled. "All right, if
you don't want to play yourself, you don't have to.
I'm not going to force you to do it."
"You're not?" Shinji asked, growing more
surprised by the minute.
Hmm. Perhaps this is what Asuka wanted him to do all along.
Nah, Asuka's just getting more devious 'tis all.
Asuka stood up straight and smiled again,
though this time it was closer to a sneer. "How was
that? Not whiny enough?"
"All right, I'll do it, I'll play myself,"
Shinji told her, caving in completely. "Just never do
that again."
Heh. Nicely played by Asuka.
Mix of me and Lara there. I built around some stuff
she said in IRC. There are a number of bits like
that.
"And in the meantime..."
"Waffles? Where'd you get those?"
"Misato brought in a whole bunch one day.
Hehehehe
This whole fic is about the waffles. :p
Ritsuko entered the lounge and stopped short.
Misato was there, staring into a styrofoam cup filled
with steaming tea. She looked decidedly unhappy.
She's sober, no doubt.
After what she's seen, no amount of drinking will be
enough to get her drunk again. Now that's a
depressing thought for Misato.
"It does matter, because... I believe you."
Misato's eyes widened momentarily, then lowered
back to her tea. "It doesn't. Here, have a waffle."
She dropped four ziploc bags on the table, each one
almost bursting with waffles.
Heh. I wonder where she's living now.
At home, but only when she's sure no one else is there,
or at least not doing anything strange.
"Shinji, we'll use the same props for those two
bridge crew guys. Misato's red jacket can be for her.
These dark glasses for the commander. Ritsuko can be
represented by the lab co... no, wait, I don't have
that anymore.
Oh? What happened to it?
Wait for it.
question anyway. "Um, how about I take this gray
dishcloth and wear it on my head?"
That works
Not really, but it was all that I... I mean, all
that Shinji could think of.
"What am I supposed to do with these?" he
asked.
"Stuff them down your shirt when you play Maya,
dummkopf!"
Shinji considered arguing, but changed his
mind. He knew it would be fruitless. "At least no one
else'll see me," he muttered to himself.
Famous last words if ever there were some.
I was tempted to have an ominous crackle of thunder,
but I didn't want to overplay it too much.
Maybe because this time Asuka was standing next
to him and not staring him down, Shinji was able to
draw confidence from his role and tried to play it as
he thought Kaji would.
Hmm. Trying to give Shinji a spine, perhaps? Could that have Asuka's
purpose to this little exercise?
You're catching on.
Rei silently started to put the props away,
aided by Pen-Pen who had been following her around ever
since she took the gray dishcloth off of his head.
Unlike Shinji, she was able to refuse the offering of
beer.
Tsk Tsk., Pen Pen is being so fickle. ^_^
Pen-Pen is looking for a real master. Misato is a drunk
and Shinji is a whimp. And Asuka is too mean.
"I can do this," Shinji replied, sounding like
he was trying to convince himself. "What scene are we
doing?"
"It's when you and your father visited your
mother's grave.
That was recorded? By whom? The guys in the chopper?
Probably. I'd guess Gendo goes under survilence the
minute he leaves his apartment.
"It's been three years since we were last
here," he told her, his voice solemn.
Asuka smiled a bit sadly. "That's when I ran
away. I haven't come back here since then. I just
don't believe my mom is resting here. I don't even
remember her face."
Hmm. Could be theraputic for her too.
I didn't think about it at the time, but yeah, I can
see your point. Shinji isn't the only one here with
mother problems.
Asuka stood suddenly and walked right up to
Shinji as he turned around to face her.
"Father! I mean, I..." And then Asuka leaned
over and very softly kissed Shinji on the lips. They
stayed like that for several moments until Asuka broke
contact with him.
Interesting. And surprising. didn't see that one coming.
But that's half the fun of it.
Shinji could only stare back at her in
surprise, the dark glasses slipping down his nose.
Head bowed with a blush dotting her cheeks,
Asuka took a deep breath and told him, "I love you."
Shinji's eyes immediately bugged out.
Heh. Ah. and Perfect. ^_^
Lara and I think so too. :)
***
"Well, helloooo, nurse," Ritsuko said softly,
her eyes wide.
Fuyutsuki whistled in appreciation. He hadn't
seen that coming at all.
I don't think many did.
Asuka did, and that's about it.
Someone said, "Whoa," and it wasn't Ritsuko or
Fuyutsuki.
"It's so... nice to see a son who really loves
his father, isn't it?"
Wahhahahahaha! Brilliant.
Yeah, it's one of my fav lines too. That and the
waffles, both are, incidently, stuff that Lara came
up with it.
Rei watched passively. She didn't think that
was what happened in the scene originally; she was
almost positive. So why had the Second Child changed
it?
nice to see that as much as she has moved along, she still doesn't quite
get it.
Yeah, we had fun with Rei, especially since she wasn't
the focus of the story.
Misato was there, passed out in the hall. She
must have witnessed the reenactment. Apparently, she
was not impressed by it.
Rei knew that if she had been Commander Ikari,
Misato would have reacted differently.
Hehehehehehehe. This is true.
Yeah, she would have really had that heart attack.
A brilliant work. Didn't see that end coming until it happened. The
>From the responses we got, it looks like no one did. I was actually
worried that I might be dropping too many clues. I know, I know
'what clues?' I'm not sure what I meant either.
characters moved along nicely, and at a good and even pace. The story
itself seemed to drag a tad in the middle, but with a long work like this
one it is difficult to keep the pace even. Only a handful of grammar
Dragged even longer for me, I had to wait two weeks for the next part once. :p
I think it ended up being better because of that, though.
errors, nothing major. Humor was kept at high levels, which added to the
enjoyment. All in all one of the best long one shot pieces I've read in
Thank you. Considering how much you read, that's saying a lot.
quite a while. And of course, I have a weakness for Shinji/Asuka match ups,
I do too, I admit, perhaps that had some influence on the way it ended.
and this one was handeled much better than most, which makes it all the
more enjoyable for me. Ingenious work on Asuka's game of 'Role Playing'.
Perfect choice for the title.
Heh. The title was the very first thing written.
Thanks so much for the C&C. Both Lara and I appreciate it.
Ammadeau