a post-christmas evangelion spam
by nikholas 'mayhem' f. toledo
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"Hmm..."
Shinji quietly ate his sandwich, thinking about how Asuka, who was
warily watching him all day, was now approaching him menacingly, like Jaws
upon some unsuspecting swimmer.
*PUNCH*
"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?!?" he cried, rubbing the sore spot.
Asuka gave him a LOOK. "That's for what you did to Rei when you two
were alone in her apartment, you BAD BOY!" She marched off, with the rest of
the class erupting into whispers.
"H---how did she find out?" Shinji thought, stunned. He was so lost in
thought that he didn't notice the shadow creeping up beside him.
*PUNCH*
Shinji tumbled out of his chair to face a stoic-looking (if it could
be anything else) Rei Ayanami. "Wha---?!?" he stammered, "what's this about?"
Rei gave a nod in Asuka's direction. "I didn't know that it was
warranted at the time."
"You mean the one in your bedroom? I didn't mean to touch your
bre---hahah... breakfast..."
Before Shinji could think of an appropriate reaction, Touji and
Kensuke slammed their fists on Shinji's desk. "SHINJI YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!!!"
*PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH*
"ARRGH!!!" "HEY!" "WHATTHE---?!?"
*PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH*
Finally, the barrage ended. Shinji looked at Touji and Kensuke.
"wha---?" he moaned through half-broken teeth. "Hey, guys... I didn't really
mean to touch Rei's breasts. Honest!"
"YOU DID WHAT?!?"
*PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH**PUNCH*
Shinji fell to the ground once more. Touji straightened his uniform.
"The first one was for my sister whom you sent to the hospital. And the
SECOND ONE WAS FOR REI, PERVERT!" He gave him a *punch* and left.
Kensuke came up to Shinji, who looked at him bleary-eyed. "And what
did I do to you, Kensuke?" Shinji said.
Kensuke pushed up his glasses. "Nothing. I just want my own EVA,
that's all..."
Shinji tried to stand up. Hikari helped him up to his feet.
"Are you going to hit me, too?" he asked.
*PUNCH* "yes..."
Shinji had enough. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?" he cried.
Hikari replied: "You're in a spamfic by Mayhem. You know, it's
actually a good thing he didn't have you wear a reindeer costume, or have us
call you gay. In fact, the EVA-01 was supposed to punch you next but he
thought of a better ending, with the help of his editor, 'Switch' Toledo..."
"A spamfic?!?" Shinji cried. "Then what's the ending?!? Where's the
PUNCH LINE?!?"
END
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Vector, Switch, Yebah, Rain Man, goo, Pervert, Scruples, Hollie, NomaD,
Blitz, Gee, Datzo, Jewel, elf, Radler, Pinball, Mayhem, Chaos, Father,
Attar, Llewe and Katana @ http://nikholas-f-toledo-zu.webjump.com/ NEW!
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