>From the Parade (12/26/1999), which got this article from the Chicago Tribune:
"A Japnese urologist and a telephone maker think they have come up with an answer
to an age-old problem: an electonic alarm to stop bed-wetting.
"The new machine - a box with wires that attach to the head and abdomen -
measures a child's brain waves and monitors his bladder. When it's time to go, an
alarm goes off, and the child heads for the toilet. The device is awaiting
government approval.
"In Japan, bed-wetting is a headache for many parents not only because of
concerns over cleanliness but also because the problem tradditionally has been seen
as a sign of stupidity."
Therefore, may I submitt to you the following dilemna...
"Oh, my!" exclaimed Kasumi as she barged into Ranma's room with a vacuum
cleaner, "You've wet your futon, Ranma." Ranma blushed as he desperately tried to
clean up the large fishy-smelling watery substance.
Suddenly, everyone else peered into the room. Genma cried out, "Oh, no! My
son's stupid!"
His wife whapped him with her kitana, "Well, what did you expect, you
*still* wet the bed!"
"Say Ranma," grinned Nabiki, "need some extra tutoring?" Ranma blushed even
harder.
"Daddy! Why on earth did you have to get me engaged with someone who's so
stupid?" screamed Akane as her father could only cry in response.
Cologne bapped Ranma with her cane. "Son-in-law, you are like me, you'll
agree that this Japanese tradition of equating stupidity with bedwetting is
childish and stupid...so how 'bout marry my granddaughter and be rid of this
problem?"
"Shampoo can give you great-grandmother's diapers," the purple bimbo
cheerfully added. Cologne blushed.
"Where did you get my Depends, child?" shouted an enraged Cologne as she
unsuccesfully tried to snatch them away from Shampoo.
"Ranma! You are a bad bedwetter, dreaming of lustful of Akane! For this
you'll die!" Ryouga screamed these words out while crashing in from the roof. Ranma
ducked and Ryouga landed on Akane, who immediately called him a pervert and started
to beat him up, while still arguing with her father. Ranma quickly left this scene
and went to Ucchan's. Ukyou was waxing the floor with a mop, uncleverly disguised
as Tsubasa.
Ranma glared at Ukyou. Ukyou smiled.
"So Ranchan, how was your bedwetting experience?"
Ranma didn't say anything. Ukyou smiled even broader.
"Well, I take it you've finally seen it. Well, I don't think you're stupid,
you've porbably had a wonderful dream of you and me in bed, doing the things that
lovers do."
Ranma nodded. "C-c-ccan we get out of here soon? The sooner we're married,
the better I'll feel." Suddenly he felt something rupture in his stomache. Ukyou
pointed to the bathroom and he rushed in. A very dizzy Tsubasa got out of his
costume and looked at Ukyou.
"W-w-what happened?" he cried.
"Oh, I suggested to him that I was the only person who loved him no matter
how stupid he was, then I made him my Exlax okyanmki."
Needless to say, Tsubasa spent most of the next week replacing the tiles
damaged from his face-faulting.