The Anime Parody Christmas Songbook, part 3
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Hello again,
Due to the annoyance of real life, I've been limited in the time
I've had to write for Christmas. I'd had plans to do more than
this short list, but it will have to do. :-(
As with previous lists of Christmas parodies, these are done with
tongue in cheek (my own, unfortunately O_-). Have fun, and never
sing these songs normally again! ^_^
Here's the songs for your amusement:
GENOM Boomers
Miyuki's Wonderland
I Saw Mommy Kissing Gendo
The Saotome Song
Happosai Is Coming To Town
And, a waffy songfic:
2000 Miles
Happy ho ho,
Shunsuke
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"GENOM Boomers"
(sung to the tune of "Six White Boomers", written by Rolf Harris)
Early on one Christmas Day there sounded an alarm,
A boomer was run amuck, causing Mega-Tokyo harm.
"Nene? Priss? Linna? Get here right away.
Mackie's got the plane ready, we're entering the fray."
Across the city skyline the Knight Sabers' plane hopped,
But they hadn't flown that far when Mackie stopped.
Unleashing all their weapons, the fireworks did fly,
Then they saw more boomers falling from the sky.
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Just look at Quincy go!
Pretty soon old Mason began to feel the heat,
Couldn't let those "bitches" send him to defeat,
He planned to be GENOM's CEO one day,
Meanwhile old man Quincy was pulling on the reins.
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Just look at Quincy go!
Mackie said to Sylia, "What about the cops?
The boomers are killing them, something we have to stop"
"They've used up all their weapons, true, they were here last night,
This one is an extra trip, my personal fight."
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Just look at Quincy go!
Soon the plane was flying over GENOM Tower,
"Slow down and land there," said Sylia, "Cut the power,
Bring up the monitor, I'll have a look around."
"There he is, that's Mason, we've gotta cut him down!"
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Just look at Quincy go!
It turned out that this fight was really quite a dud,
Didn't see anything special, except for Mason's blood.
The Knight Sabers just flew off into the morning sun,
In 5 and 6 it's Largo, and he is much more fun.
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo
GENOM Boomers, violent boomers,
Just look at Quincy go!
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Miyuki's Wonderland
(sung to the tune of "Walking in A Winter Wonderland")
Miyuki-chan, are you dreaming?
The cheshire cat's teeth are gleaming
A strange place in sight, nothing looks right
Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland
Gone away is the teacher
Here to stay is a creature
Crying "I'm late, I'm late", a rabbit runs past her gate,
Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland
'Neath the wall is broken, Humpty Dumpty
The king's men have given up on he
Miyuki asks "Are you well?"
He says "No dear,
I'm but a shell of who I used to be"
Tweedledum states a dictum
Tweedledee contradicts him
Miyuki's confused, the twins are amused
Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland
In the parlor all are welcomed in for tea
The table and the board are set for eight
We'll have a slice of cake and we will play chess
Until the flower fairies claim a "'mate"!
Whips and chains, Miyuki's unwilling
The Queen of Hearts wants a killing
Or frolic and flay in bondage she'll play
Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland
Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland
Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland
---
Side note: I've never seen MciW, so if I don't have the names or
settings right, blame my local stores for not carrying the tapes. ^_^
(I'm not responsible for *any* of this!)
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"I Saw Mommy Kissing Gendo"
(as sung by Ritsuko Akagi to the tune of
"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus")
I saw Mommy kissing Gendo
In the MAGI control booth last night
She didn't see me creep
Over the ledge to have a peep;
She thought that I was lost
in NERV's bowels deep
Then I saw Mommy tickle Gendo
Underneath his beard within the light
Oh, what deaths there would have been
If Yui had only seen
Mommy kissing Gendo last night
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The Saotome Song
(adapted from "The Christmas Song", written by Mel Torme and R. Wells)
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Pot roast stolen from under your nose
Angry shouts being hurled by a crowd
And thieves dressed up like pandas
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Is all you'd have to pay for the right
Little girls with their hearts all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight
They know that Genma's on his way
He's pledged his son to be their fiance
And every mother's child is gonna cry
When they learn it's Akane who caught Ranma's eye
So don't ever sign an "omiai"
Genma has broken ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
GENMA'S A LOW-DOWN, HONORLESS, DISGUSTING THIEF!!!
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Happosai Is Coming to Town
(sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town")
Don't hang out
Your laundry to dry
Don't hang them out
I'm telling you why
Happosai is coming to town
He's taking a risk
Covering his face
Stealing girls panties both silky and lace
Happosai is coming to town
He peeps on you when you're sleeping
He molests you when you're awake
We know that he'll be bad for good
Akane said "For goodness sake!"
Oh! Don't hang out
Your laundry to dry
If you wring them out
I'm telling you why
Happosai is coming to town
Happosai is coming to town
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"2000 Miles"
A Ranma 1/2 songfic
(written by Chrissie Hynde, recorded by The Pretenders
on their 1983 album "Learning To Crawl")
[Christmas Day, and a small farmhouse sits warmly on a cold
landscape, like a candle in darkness lighting the way.]
He's gone 2000 miles
It's very far
[Akari is in her kitchen, baking something. After closing the
oven door, she stands and smiles, looking first at the clock,
and then out the window at the snow.]
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
[Two little rugrats run around her legs, then hug her while
giggling.]
"Will daddy be home soon?" one asks.
"Very soon, dear. Somehow he always does."
The children were singing
He'll be back at Christmastime
[Scooting them away with a soft pat on their backsides, Akari
uses a spatula to remove the cookies from the tray, with a
look of trusting faith in her eyes.]
"If Akane can come up with a good cookie recipe, then he can
make it home in time for dinner."
In these frozen and silent nights
Sometimes in a dream you appear
[Ryouga is walking through tropical forests, using his
umbrella like a machete to clear his path.]
"That's strange, it should be snowing in these parts of
Hokkaido."
Outside under the purple sky
Diamonds in the snow sparkle
[The decorations around the house shone in the light of the
fire as Akari knelt at the table, wrapping the blanket around
her legs. While she began knitting again, the children
quietly and sleepily walked over to sit by her; leaning against
her, they were asleep within minutes. Only the crackling log
made any sound in the room.]
Our hearts were singing
It felt like christmastime
[Ryouga pushed on, as blinding sand turned into windy tundra,
hoping that somehow he was heading in the right direction.]
2000 miles
Is very far through the snow
I'll think of you
Wherever you go
* * * * *
He's gone 2000 miles
It's very far
[The sun is now preparing to set on another day, but Akari sits
with a smile while watching her children play. She knows the
day is not over.]
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
[Clothes ripped, ragged and tired, Ryouga, trudged up the road.
(He couldn't go wrong looking at gravel on the road, could he?
Even with the snow?) He finally looked up, and saw smoke from
the chimney, and knew he was home. With a call echoing through
the wintry air, the door opened, and his children ran toware
him...
...in the wrong direction. Akari looked at him and smiled,
then went to find them. Somehow, Ryouga made it to the door.]
I can hear people singing
It must be christmastime
I hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
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