Subject: [FFML] Re: [Blade of the Immortal] Momento Mori
From: "J. du Chatinier" <chatin@euronet.nl>
Date: 12/21/1999, 5:54 PM
To: Pinoyeva00@aol.com, ffml@fanfic.com

***
Hello there,

I was just browsing through the mails and saw the Blade-tag. Caught my
attention immediately, it's my favourite manga. There just isn't enough
fanfiction of it out there, but I guess it just isn't very widely known.
And it isn't finished yet, maybe that's a factor too. Ah, anyway, be
prepared for some comments. :)


***Alright, first impressions. Yes, you gave a little warning up front
about the language. And no, I'm not someone who's offended by it. However
(Yes, there's one.:)), I think that in the beginning you use to much fuck
and damned and all that. Sure, Manji uses 'punk-speak' but that doesn't
mean you have to use fuck in every other sentence if not twice. Just like
any other word that's used too often in a paragraph, it gets annoying. At
the end of the fic this gets better, much better. My opinion.


Oh, look-y here, my body's all nice and healed up.
***
*LOL* Oooh, very, very nice'n cynical. Like this one.


  She's still alive. Even cut into five pieces, she still 
calls my name. Yeah, I love you too imouto-chan. I look 
towards the gang of twenty, did the little shit say twenty? I 
can't remember anymore. They're screaming something, I can't 
hear them, only silence- and Machi, calling my name softly. 
She's still alive.
*****
She's still alive? Can't remember this one from the Manga. IF you made it
up, it seems a little exagerated... I mean, errm, she's missing part of her
lungs so she can't speak anymore. Then again, that's realism, not
fanfiction, neh? :)


  "Manji..." its so soft, and its a little gurgly, but I 
won't look back. Nope, I won't, not at the fact that you can 
see her lungs, filled with blood, slowly deflating as she 
calls out my name, or the fact that her arms are half a meter 
or so away from the upper part of her body, lying side by 
side to her midsection, and trailed by her legs. So much 
pain, and she still calls out to me. She's still alive.
***
Ah, the lungs! :) Still say it's a wee li'l 'unrealistic'...


  A sword slips past my defenses, cutting my leg at the 
knee. The tear falls down, lost in a sea of blood, and I 
double my speed, killing all around me. Minus a leg, I'm 
still more deadly than they are. No-one is left by the time I 
am done.
***
Alright, if I would've written this I'd have made his leg fall of at the
end of the battle. Then again, this is me talking about realism again when
Manji has got twelve blades up in his clothes. I'll shut up about it.


  I crawl back to the battle, and look over at the multitude 
of bodies and sticky blood covering the grass. My leg is 
there, somewhere.

  Shit.
****
BWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yes! Ye gods, that's a good one. I can picture this as a panel. :) Snap the
last comment about the leg, this is worth it.



If you have Blade of the Immortal, read the section this 
pertains to again. I cut and pasted the dialogue (95% is
directly from the manga) If you're still confused... 
that's not good at all for this fic...
***
Not confused. It was absolutely clear for someone who knows the manga. If
you don't, I don't think this will hold your interest as much as another
fanfic about a manga you _do_ know.


Send flames, assorted bombs, death threats, and Blade of the 
Immortal stuff to:
***
tick tock tick tock BOOM! :)



Alright, those were my comments. But I'll have to add one more at the end.
This, however enjoyable it was to read, is still only a textual version of
the original Manga with your take on Manji's character thrown in. How about
writing some fanfiction that's not yet drawn. I'd love to see it. :)

All the best,

Jod
chatin@euronet.nl
http://www.euronet.nl/users/chatin/index.htm


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