The television in the corner was blaring NHK's traditional Kohaku Uta
Gassen show, and Ukyou winced as Tsuru Hiromi stumbled her way through
a song. Looked like it was going to be a rare win for the white team
this year.
She sighed. Of all nights to be working, this had to be, hands down,
the worst. Not only was everybody else out celebrating, they all
seemed to be celebrating somewhere else.
She checked the time: nearly half-past ten. About an hour and a half
until the end of the millenium, and where was she? Alone in the
Ucchan, waiting for customers that weren't gonna be coming.
A breathy voice wafted in from the back room: "Ukyou-sama... what do
you want me to do with these bottles...?"
Okay... not *entirely* alone. But close enough, right?
==========
Ukyou Kuonji offers
a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction
This is the Way the Millenium Ends...
(both with a whimper *and* a bang)
==========
Ranma Nibonnoichi is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and everyone
else she may have sold the rights to along the way. No infringement
is intended.
==========
Lemon warning: Sexual content ahead. Look, it's the new year, "I"'m
single, and not having any more luck with Ran-chan than ever. Kinda
requires desperate measures, wouldn't you say? Anyway, it's only one
scene - you can skip over it if you feel you need to.
==========
"Bottles, 'Natsu-chan?"
"Uh-huh..." The kunoichi had by now come in from the storage room,
hefting a pair of large green bottles. "These were for..."
"...the parties that didn't come, I know..." The sight of the
champagne bottles served only to darken Ukyou's mood that much
further. She really had expected people to go out to eat on New
Year's Eve. Why they hadn't chosen her restaurant, she couldn't
understand, but it was clear they hadn't. Not for the turn of the
millenium, anyway. The only good news was that the delivery
business was still reasonably decent.
"If it's any consolation, Ukyou-sama," Konatsu murmured as he handed
her the champagne, "the only folks at the Neko-Hanten are Shampoo,
Mousse and Cologne." He paused. "And actually, I think I only
heard women's voices and a duck when I passed by."
Ukyou took the proffered botlles. "Thanks, 'Natsu-chan. I guess
there are worse ways to spend New Year's, ne?" <Though not many,
and not by much.> "What say we open one of these ourselves? Seeing
as no one else is gonna..."
The look on the kunoichi's face was one of sympathy, rather than
anticipation. "As you wish... but shouldn't we do it outside?"
The question served to divert Ukyou's attention from the foil wrapping
on the neck of the bottle. "Hm?"
"Outside. It says 'contents under pressure.' We don't want to make
a mess in the middle of the restaurant, do we?"
"To be honest, I could care less right now. We'd've had to open it
inside if someone had been here, so..." Her voice trailed off as
she saw Konatsu was looking with some concern at the ceiling.
"Oh, all right. Outside. And hope the cork breaks a window in
the Neko-Hanten instead, ne?"
For the first time since he'd gotten back from his delivery, Konatsu
allowed himself to smile.
***
"You're not going to wait until midnight, Ukyou-sama?"
"Not if I can help it. I plan to be *sloshed* by midnight, and I don't
have any time to waste. Just point me in the direction of the Chinese
bimbo's place, and I'll lock, load and fire when ready."
The kunoichi dutifully turned Ukyou around so that the neck of the
champange bottle in her hands was aimed in the general direction of
the Neko-Hanten. With a mental shrug at his mistress' animosity
toward Shampoo, he stepped back. "You're all set, Ukyou-sama."
With a grin, Ukyou twisted off the small wire cage holding the cork in
place. She placed her hand at the base of the bottleneck, and slid it
up to the cork, wedging her thumb between the cork and the lip of the
bottle. There was a moment's pause as a sweatdrop beaded on the
okonomi-yaki chef's temple as she strained to unleash the cork.
"Damn... these things are hard." Still pointed toward the Neko-
Hanten, Ukyou placed the bottle between her knees and set both thumbs
to the task of forcing the cork from the bottleneck. She grit her
teeth and pushed...
*POW!*
...and tumbled backwards into the arms of her kunoichi as the recoil
sent her sprawling. Slightly dazed, she watched as a gout of foam
spurted from the mouth of the bottle, before settling to a mild
bubbling. Her hands were covered with foam before she returned
to her senses.
"Oh, hey... what am I thinking? Konatsu... get a coupla glasses
before this stuff completely runs out, willya?"
***
She'd changed out of her leggings, as they had gotten doused with
champagne as well. Instead, Ukyou was wearing a pair of heavy black
stockings that came most of the way up her thighs. Unless one really
made an effort, one wouldn't know the difference - of course, one
wouldn't know much of ANYthing at that point, having most likely
gotten crowned with a battle spatula for one's troubles.
Not like it mattered. Not like anything mattered. Just over an hour
to go, and she was drinking champagne by the tumbler, while Konatsu
sipped his glass and watched her with a worried expression.
"Ukyou-sama..."
"Not a word, 'Natsu-chan, not a word. I..." she stifled a burp,
"know what I'm doing. I also know you don't approve, but as I'm
the boss around here, I'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.
Now..." and she extended her empty tumbler in his direction,
"fill'er up, won'tcha?
"...wonder if I broke a window in the Neko-Hanten?"
Konatsu dutifully, if reluctantly, poured his mistress another dose.
"I'm sure I don't know, Ukyou-sama." He watched as she upended the
glass and poured the contents down her throat, then dashed over to
catch her as she began to topple off of her seat. "You know, maybe
we should go outside again for some fresh air, Ukyou-sama."
Ukyou gazed up into her kunoichi's eyes with a slightly glassy
expression. "Soundss good, 'Natsu-<urp>-chan. Less' gowon up
t' th' roof..."
"The... roof?"
Ukyou's only reaction was a nod.
***
The best description of the view from the Ucchan's rooftop was
'glowing'. To the south and east was the vague white glow of
a city waiting for the moment, determined to show the world that
Tokyo, as the first city of the new millenium, was ready and eager
to face what that millenium would bring to it.
On the rooftop, a small hibachi Konatsu had lugged up in order to
stave off the mild chill of a December night was glowing red with
the warmth of its coals. The kunoichi, for his part, was resting
against the restaurant's heating vent along with Ukyou, while the
hibachi kept their feet warm.
And Ukyou herself was glowing, though not even Konatsu could have
seen it. Not only from the effects of too much champagne, but there
was something else, something she couldn't yet put her finger on...
A brisk wind suddenly blew across the roof, and Ukyou rose unsteadily
to her feet. She teetered to the edge of the roof, robe and hair
flapping behind her in the breeze. She stared out defiantly into
the wind and stretched out her arms. "Looka meee, Jack! I'm flying!
Wheeee..."
She pitched forward precariously, and Konatsu sprang up. "Ukyou-sama!"
He raced over and caught her just as she started to lose what little
balance she had left. He carried her gently back to the safety and
warmth of the vent, and as he set her down, she let herself rest in
his surprisingly strong arms.
Another gust of wind swept across the roof, and a wisp of breeze blew
beneath Ukyou's robe. She shivered with the unaccustomed cold; her
leggings would normally have kept her warm down there.
Several tears squeezed their way out of her closed eyes. Wasn't there
a New Year's Day ritual of the first sex of the year? And once again,
she was going to miss out on it. She knew where her Ran-chan was;
even though the wedding hadn't come off, she could imagine that Akane
was keeping *herself* warm tonight with him...
***
Akane Tendo sneezed as she stormed up the stairs. Ranma had just
insulted her cooking for the umpteenth time ("Horse doovers?" he had
joked at her mispronunciation, "More like horse *droppings*, if ya ask
me."), and had paid the price. The new year's celebrations at the
Tendo Dojo were going to be rather subdued after all.
Were Nabiki there, she would probably have made some crack to
the effect of: "Three words, Saotome: New Years' resolutions.
Work on 'em." As it was, she was out on the town with some poor
sap (correction: some soon-to-be-poor sap), and so she wasn't there
to render her commentary on the scene. Just as well; Ranma wouldn't
have listened were he conscious, and as he wasn't, he wouldn't even
have heard.
But Ukyou didn't know about any of this...
***
The glow on Ukyou's cheeks began to burn as she felt the gooseflesh
on her thighs. Her eyes, too, began to burn from the sting of
saltwater welling up in them. But she would not let herself cry.
Not in front of her employee. Even if he *couldn't* see, she wasn't
going to run that risk.
Konatsu, for the moment, seemed oblivious to the pain in Ukyou's heart.
"Ooh! Ukyou-sama, look! A shooting star! Quick, make a wish!" His
smile could clearly be heard in his quiet, breathy voice, despite the
darkness that cloaked the them. Ukyou turned to face the darkness
from where his voice had come, and shook her head in wonder. It never
made sense to her why he seemed to be so happy all the time.
"No, you saw it first... make your own wish, sugar."
She could almost hear him blink at her. "Why? I have everything I
could wish for. I'm free from my step-family, I have friends who care
about me, I have a well-paying job," Ukyou winced slightly at that,
"I have enough to eat, and beautiful clothes to wear...
"And I owe it all to you, Ukyou-sama." He turned again to look at the
stars. "What could I ask the heavens for beyond that which I already
have?"
Ukyou sat bolt upright in shock, but Konatsu continued: "Besides,
something tells me you need this wish more than I do. What do *you*
want, Ukyou-sama?"
"What... do *I*... want?" She could just barely make out the rustle
of his nod.
There was another gust, and Ukyou shivered with the wave of gooseflesh
that crossed her thighs. The hot blush rose up again in her cheeks.
She shifted around so that she was kneeling by Konatsu's side.
"Konatsu-kun..." The honorific caused him to do a mild doubletake;
this was not like his mistress. "You're a kunoichi, right?"
He nodded. "A ninja, versed in the arts of... of..." She couldn't
get the word out.
"The arts of...?" The kunoichi wasn't sure where this conversation
was going, but if it had something to do with Ukyou-sama's wish, and
it was something he could do for her, he would do it without question.
"Of... of... oh, Kami, this is so embarrassing..." Ukyou balled her
hands into fists in frustration, then tried another tack. "Konatsu...
you worked at a teahouse, okay? What-all did you have to do there?"
Now Konatsu was *really* confused. "Well, I had to cook, clean the
place, do the laundry..."
"No, I mean, what about your, ah, clients?"
"Oh, I wasn't allowed to be seen by the clientele. My step-sisters
said that no-one would want a freak like me..." The kunoichi trailed
off sadly.
"So... you never had to... ah..." From the fire in her cheeks Ukyou
would swear she looked like a mutant cousin of that reindeer, Rudolph.
"...service anybody... at the teahouse, I mean?"
"No."
The pause could not have been but for a few seconds, but it felt like
an eternity to Ukyou, as she attempted to screw up the courage to make
her request. It took another gust of wind, chilling her between her
legs and stoking the fire in her cheeks, to urge her on.
"Konatsu-kun... I want you... to... 'service' me."
Now it was Konatsu's turn to tremble... but not from the cold.
"B-b-but you're a... you're a *girl*."
Ukyou nodded, maybe a little too vigorously. "That's right, I'm a
woman." She rose awkwardly to her feet as she attempted to slip off
her panties. "And what I really need right now is a man. Think you
can handle that?"
The kunoichi just stared up at his mistress, paralyzed.
Ukyou bit her lip as she looked down at Konatsu. <Dammit, I blew it.>
She knelt back down beside him. "I'm sorry about that, Konatsu-kun.
I shouldn't have asked that of you." The heat and color never left
her cheeks, but now it felt more like embarassment and shame than
desire.
She caught a tiny flash of light off of her kunoichi's face; the
reflection of a streetlamp briefly reflected in a crystalline tear.
"No, Ukyou-sama... I just don't know what to do for you... whatever
it is, I want you to be happy. I'll do it... I'll do anything...
just show me how..."
Ukyou stifled a small catch in her throat and swallowed hard to push
it down. She leaned over her trembling kunoichi. "Are you sure...?"
Every muscle in Konatsu's body tensed as felt her warm breath on his
face. He could almost feel the champange bubbles wrapped around her
gentle words. He closed his eyes and nodded.
"All right, then." Ukyou's words sounded braver than she felt.
She straightened herself out, and lifted a knee over Konatsu's head,
positioning herself bare inches from him. Her okonomi-yaki seller's
robe, in fact, was just long enough to cover his face.
The kunoichi's eyes widened in fright. What was he supposed to do now?
If he reached up with his tongue, he could actually touch his mistress'
sex. Was this what she really wanted from him? The scent was heady
and strong, but reminded him of the smell of unwashed laundry. The
smell of a woman in... it wasn't love, now, was it?
Another tear escaped his eye as he reached up to taste his mistress,
enveloped as he was in what reminded him of his sisters' scent. This
was so wrong, so unnatural! But if Ukyou-sama wanted him to be a
lesbian for her sake, he would do it. He breathed deeply of her scent,
and cried silently that he found it pleasant. The very thought of it
chilled him to the bone...
<No, wait... that's just the wind on my... oh Kami... Ukyou-sama, what
are you *doing*?> What she was doing, actually, was uncomfortably
clear. His mistress was debasing herself to the point of removing
his deformity from within the folds of his kimono, taking it between
her hands, and suckling on it. What's more, it felt wonderful, as
the sensation of her warm, wet lips on it contrasted sharply with the
chilly breeze that crossed the roof and caressed what parts of his own
sex his mistress was not embracing with her mouth.
This was unforgivable, for him to be receiving more pleasure than he
was giving. Without even a thought, his hands went to her hips, and
he pulled her down the last few inches onto his face, and began to run
his tongue across her sex in earnest.
Ukyou, for her part, had felt a twinge of remorse at simply pressing
herself onto Konatsu, and had decided to give him a little reward for
his, uh, service. It had taken a bit of fumbling to loosen his obi,
especially when she was practically laying on top of it, but eventually
it was sufficiently loose to allow her to draw out his manhood.
It wasn't enormous - although Ukyou had never paid much attention to
what was 'normal' in guys - but it was more than enough to set Konatsu
apart from the girls he aspired to be like. <A freak, they called
him... all because of this. Poor thing. And I'll be he still thinks
of himself like that, too.> Gingerly, she placed her lips around the
head of his penis, and began to suckle. It wasn't what she'd expected
it to taste like... but then, she hadn't known *what* to expect.
She certainly hadn't expected the pair of hands that grasped her, nor
the tongue that suddenly began lashing her with the ferocity of a
starving man at his first meal in ages. "Ah... ah... AH!" It was
enough to cause her to leave off from her ministrations, but she
continued to hold onto Konatsu's penis for dear life, as if she were
afraid of falling off of him...
...when she felt a drop of liquid roll onto her index finger.
A solitary drop of his semen, glimmering in the streetlight like
a tiny pearl, had beaded up from within him. As distracted as she
was by Konatsu's efforts, she leaned down unsteadily and licked the
drop up.
She grimaced at the cloying, lukewarm taste and made a mental note
not to try that again. Maybe if she were a little *more* drunk...
She reached down to her hips, and took Konatsu's hands in hers.
"Thank you, sugar... that's enough for now." She gently removed
them from her hips, and slowly rose to her feet. She could hear
the chorus of 'Auld Lang Syne' wafting from a nearby apartment.
<Kohaku Uta Gassen just ended - wonder who won? Not much longer...
<...time to go for broke.> She took a deep breath, and glanced down
at Konatsu, who had brought a hand to his lips in disbelief. Once
more, she got down on her knees, this time straddling her kunoichi's
legs. She brought the tip of his penis to meet the tip of her
clitoris, and began rubbing them against each other, much as she
would rub her fingers against her sex during the occassional break
when Konatsu was out on a delivery, and no one was watching.
Konatsu trembled violently at his mistress' touch, both that of her
hand and of her... other parts. He quivered at the brush of her soft
pubic hair against his deformed organ, and another bitter tear fell
at his inability to give Ukyou-sama what she wanted. She wanted - no,
she *deserved* - a real man, a man like Ranma. And yet here she was,
trying her level best to make do with a misshapen girl like himself.
Suddenly he felt pressure on the tip of his... thing. Ukyou-sama had
lifted herself so that she was poised over it, as if she were going
to use him as the man she so longed for. A wave of shock struck him
as he realized it might not even fit.
Ukyou grimaced as she hovered atop Konatsu. For all the times she
had fantasized about making love to Ran-chan, it never occurred to
her that it would be anything other than sheer bliss right from the
first. This, on the other hand, was going to *hurt*. She hesitated,
weighing this new realization against her growing need for it.
There was a series of flashing lights, like explosions, in the corner
of her eye, followed by the loud tolling of a nearby temple bell.
Disoriented by the noise and light, Ukyou lost her balance and
dropped straight down onto her kunoichi's manhood.
The new year, the new millenium was greeted at the Ucchan by
a scream of pain.
"Ukyou-sama!" Konatsu sprang as best he could to his mistress' aid,
sitting bolt upright and wrapping her in his arms. "I'm sorry! How
can I help?"
Ukyou's eyes were glassy, and sweat beaded from her forehead,
shimmering in the reflected light of the fireworks downtown.
A look of grim determination grew on her face, punctuated by
slight winces as the temple bell continued to toll. She took
a deep breath, and held it for a minute before replying.
"You can help," she panted, "by lying down again. I'm gonna go
through with this if it kills me." Slowly, she pushed Konatsu onto
his back, and kissed him lightly on the lips. Then, she brought
herself back into her kneeling position, and lifted herself up,
only to drive down onto him with every stroke of the temple bell.
With each stroke, she began to feel less pain. Konatsu's penis,
though still an alien visitor, now felt more like a friend, warming
her, comforting her, than an enemy, tearing at her, raping her.
She began to speed up her tempo, driving herself down twice with
every stroke of the temple bell. She reached down, and began to
run her fingers across her clitoris with a rapid-file motion born
of long practice, one that would embarrass even Ranma with his
Chestnut Fist... although it would doubtless embarass him for
other reasons, too...
Her hands would also brush against the base of Konatsu's root, and he
grit his teeth and bit his lip to keep himself from exploding. He
would *not* release until Ukyou-sama did, he would not, he would not...
Then, at the eighty-eighth stroke, Ukyou felt the beginning of the
wave. She tensed, and sped up her strokes to match the bell fourfold.
Sweat poured from her brow as she struggled desperately to crest
before the hundred and eighth sounding of the temple bell.
Konatsu clenched his fists, trying to keep himself from reaching out
to his mistress and distracting her. This felt so good, and he was
so unworthy of its joy!
It was with this thought that he felt Ukyou go into a violent
convulsions, dropping herself onto him as though she could impale
herself. <This must be the moment,> and he let himself burst within
her.
Her orgasm pulsed through her taut body like the fireworks display
that she had just seen. Her hips shook atop Konatsu as though she
were in an earthquake, and he responded with a wave of his own.
Spent, she dropped to her hands, resting by Konatsu's shoulders,
gasping for breath, clouds of steam pouring from her mouth with
every pant in the cool January air.
"Ko...hh, hh... Konatsu...?"
He looked up at her, silently, expectantly, waiting for her orders.
She could barely get the words out: "Hold me..." before collapsing
on top of him. Once again, his arms wrapped around her as the bell
tolled for the final time.
But she didn't hear it.
***
As beautiful as the day was, as glorious it was to still be alive
despite the doomsayers' dire predictions, Konatsu was starting to get
cold. And he knew Ukyou-sama was, too. He carefully slithered out
from underneath her, making sure not to wake her. Gently, he picked
her up, and, opening the rooftop door with his foot, he carried her
downstairs to her apartment.
"Hold me," she had said, and he was more than happy to fulfill his
mistress' wish. He set her down on her bed, and once she was settled,
climbed in behind her, keeping his arms wrapped around her protectively.
Secure in the knowledge that Ukyou-sama was comfortable and happy,
he allowed himself to fall asleep.
***
For some folks, the turn of a year (to say nothing of a millenium)
means the dawning of a new era, a change for the better, a ray of
hope...
"Woo-hoo-hoo!"
For others, it's just another day at the office.
"Wotta haul! Wotta haul!"
It doesn't take brain surgery to figure out which type of person
Happosai was.
After all, why turn over a new leaf when there's all these silkies
lying around to be picked up? Thanks to the Japanese tradition of
the first sex of the year, the pickings were especially good this
morning. So many little darlings simply discarded in the heat of
the moment. Well, he'd keep 'em company, as long as their owners
weren't gonna...
This morning's scavenging had taken him far afield, to places he
rarely visited. All he needed to do was to follow his nose; where
the sweet smell of woman mingled with the normally objectionable musk
of a male, there he would find another discarded treasure.
Even on the roof of a restaurant.
"Aha!" *sniff* "Okonomi-yaki!
"I've found it! The last one!" Not that Happosai was particularly
infatuated with the chef. It was just that he had collected panties
from all of his disciple's other fiancees, but between Konatsu's
stealthy laundering efforts and the fact that Ukyou herself wore
those doggone leggings, her panties were well nigh impossible to
obtain. Until now.
"Finally! Now I can die a Happi man!"
And in what might be karmic retribution for such a vile pun, he almost
got his wish. What with all his celebration at such a rare find, he
had neglected to notice the still-smouldering hibachi until he had
landed in it, and the scents of male and female mingled with that of
burning ham.
But fear not, gentle readers... thanks to the (rather unwilling)
ministrations of several dozen nurses at Tokyo General, he was back
on his feet in no time.
***
Rays of dawning sunlight pierced through the window of Ukyou's
upstairs bedroom, the light stabbing through her eyelids like needles.
Head throbbing, she kept her eyes squeezed shut even as she slowly
regained consciousness...
...but they sprang open almost involuntarily at the sensation of warm
breath upon her neck and shoulder, and an arm wrapped around her waist.
Slowly, tentatively, she took stock of her surroundings. She was in
her own apartment above the Ucchan, and in her own bed, but she
couldn't remember getting there. In fact, the last thing she *did*
remember was...
...oh, sweet Kami, no...
Now both her head and the pit of her stomach were throbbing.
She almost didn't dare look behind her, but she was compelled
to see the face of the one who...
...it was. Konatsu. With a smile on his face like one who had been
kissed by an angel. Maybe he really thought he had been.
With a sigh, Ukyou turned back to face the window and tried to drift
back to sleep. Not the greatest way to begin the new year, but it
was better than being alone...
...wasn't it?
==========
Author's notes:
My first fic in months, my first lemon in well over a year.
Is it any wonder I'm nervous about it?
Y'know, I never intended for this fic to be so painful -
no, strike that; I had actually considered getting 'myself'
pregnant by Konatsu, and trying to deal with that. What I
*hadn't* planned on was making this a Y2K fic. But it works,
ne?
Parts of that lemon scene sum up how this fic felt like to write;
painful at times, pleasurable at others, and struggling like mad
to get it over with before the bell finished its tolling. Speaking
of which, I haven't a *clue* as to the tempo of those 108 strikes
of the temple bell... could someone enlighten me before I ship this
off to the r.a.a.c.?
I wanna thank a few people for their encouragement and suggestions
as I struggled through this thing: Nightman , Philip Mak, and my
dear friend Zen - you're such a sweetheart. ^_^
Thanks also have to go out to Rob Barba, Robert Haynie, Scott Jamison,
Jim Lazar and Libby Thomas for reminding me how far behind the curve
I am. Blame them if you've been waiting anxiously for my next story
(or, if you prefer, thank them from postponing my foisting this dreck
off on you. I'd start by reading their stuff...)
As indicated, I need C&C on this, and quickly... if this is to get on
the r.a.a.c. before New Year's Eve, I gotta submit it soon. Thanks,
y'all!
Itsu mo,
Ucchan ^_^