Blush
By: Dreiser
Every time I look at you, really look at you, a blush covers
your features and you smile at me softly.
You smile at me with a look of love in your eyes.
Why haven't I ever noticed that?
Is it because we're such good friends? Or because our
duty as Senshi has kept me so distracted?
Distracted? No, that's not the right word.
Kept me so dense? Yes, that's much more apt.
But somehow I don't think that it's my role as a Senshi that
has kept me from acknowledging just what it meant every time you
would blush at me.
Perhaps it was my own fear of love and being loved. It's
hard to explain why exactly I fear it so.
I suppose it all goes back to my parents and their deaths.
Deep inside I'm afraid to love anyone as much as I loved them
because somehow I think that they'll leave me too.
That as soon as I truly give my heart away that person will
abandon me.
Like my Sempai did.
I chuckle to think of it. Whenever I speak of him you
always look at me with such concern in your eyes.
But what's really sad is that what I felt for him doesn't even
begin to compare to what I feel for you.
My love for him was a joke. An escape. He was a focus
for my affections. A blind sort of obsession.
Something for me to fixate on.
I wonder, am I the same thing for you? Just something for
you to focus your affections on? Or do you truly love me?
You're looking at me now and your eyes, they're so deep
that I think that I could drown in them.
How is it possible for one person to have such a vast
ocean of depth to them?
Depth.
Yes, there's a depth to you. One so powerful that it makes
it impossible for me to believe that I'm some sort of passing phase
for you.
You really do love me, don't you?
With a tilt of my head, I make up my mind and slowly rise
to my feet then cross to stand in front of you.
Your eyes lift to meet mine and like so many times before
you blush lightly and offer me a tender smile. Then your gaze
darkens in concern and you frown slightly.
Only seconds have passed but already you've noticed that
something is wrong with me. Why haven't I been just as observant
with you? Why did I waste so much time?
"Mako-chan? Is something wrong?"
Instead of replying, I reach out to cup your cheek in a
gentle hold and I can hear the quiet gasp you give at this.
"Mako-chan...?"
I've never heard your voice sound so uncertain. It's soft
and trembling and eyes seem to waver as they hold my own.
It's then that I finally realize it. Realize why I never noticed
your feelings for me.
Realize that and why you never approached me.
Just like me, you're afraid.
Afraid of your feelings and afraid of my reaction. Afraid of
what would happen if you told me how you felt.
Thank god your blush gave you away.
I bend down so our faces our only inches away and I can
feel your breath on mine as I offer a slow smile.
"Mako-chan?"
Your voice is shaking now and there's definite question
lying in it and I can tell that you're getting impatient.
Funny, I've never thought you to be the impatient type. I
wonder what else that I don't know about you?
Ah well, I have plenty of time to find out now.
Pushing back some stray strands of your hair, my smile
widens as I murmur, "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are
when you blush, Ami?"
Your response is the exact one that I expected.
You blush lightly and duck your eyes from mine.
And when I see it I feel at peace because I know that
because of it I'll never be alone again.
Because now I have you. You, and your love for me. And
in return, my love for you.
But despite all of this, I still can't understand one very
simple thing.
Why haven't I ever noticed it before?
-End-
Both characters in this fanfiction are from the series Sailor Moon.
This fanfic came about for some pretty strange reasons. Mainly, I
saw a link posted on the yuri mailing list I'm on for the Church of
Ami and Makoto. I noticed that the person who maintains it said
they haven't seen any fics for the coupling and the pictures on the
site were just so darn kawaii that I just had to write a fic for the
couple. So that's the reasons behind this being written. I hope any
and all fans of the romantic pairing enjoyed reading this.
Send comments to: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com
Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780
Thanks to Red Death all my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm
To see the kawaii Church of Ami and Makoto go to:
http://members.xoom.com/Fox333/fox/coaam/coaam.htm
"If they knew just a fraction of all the things we do they still
wouldn't comprehend the depth between me and you."
-TLC-