Here I am trying to write about my life as a future Jurian king again.

Oooh... This is a neat idea!

I can't believe the Royal Jurian Archive Council has asked me to keep a journal of my life.  I still say I'm too young for this, but I guess it helps me keep things in perspective.  I write about my experiences and I have time to think about them and hopefully learn about what I really am.

You're actually a fish dreaming he is a man, Tenchi.

    I guess I should start with what is bothering me right now. My friends at school and about a great majority of the male population on Earth (I guess I should say galaxy)

This is somewhat awkward. Recommend:

... a great majority of the male population of the Earth (or I guess I should say the entire galaxy)

would think I am the luckiest guy in the world living with five beautiful and exotic women.

1.Ayeka
2.Ryouko
3.Mihoshi
4.Washuu (-san)
5.Sasami/Tsunami
6.(?)Kiyone
7.(?)Rho-ohki (after OVA 10 or so...)

I guess I should say five women and a little sister who is merging with a goddess.

Depending on which of the fourteen hundred Tenchi chronologies you're following, this numbering is confusing. Should this be five or four? Should the line previous be five or six?

I know a lot of people would tell that I have a charmed life, but they only see the good part.  They don't see the constant terror I have to live with.  I would rather be fighting twelve Kagatos and an army of Quillenoids than what I have to deal with when its Ayeka's and Ryoko's time of the month.

Tenchi-san... If Ayeka or Ryouko ever get hold of this, it's going to go very badly for you. ^_^

    Let me first say that I am shy around women, but I know about the human anatomy and how the woman's body works, sort of.  In the past few years I have lived with my extended "houseguest"

Should be 'houseguests'?

I have learned to keep track of this event in my calendar and pray that it goes quickly.  Eternal vigilance has become my middle name.
    It all started about two days ago.  I woke up on a beautiful Sunday morning.  It was one of those mornings that reminded me how much I love living at grandpa's farm.  I took a deep breath and let all my worries go.  Suddenly, a pair of arms stretched around my waist and felt two soft bulges against my back.  All my worries suddenly returned.

Recommend: ... stretched around my waist and I felt two soft bulges against my back.

    "Good morning, my dearest Tenchi," spoke Ryoko.  She spoke in a soft voice.  I did not dare turn around.  I know this may come at a surprise to everybody, but I actually like feeling her warm body against mine.  I'm not gay or dead, but if Ayeka or anybody else walks in, I will be.

Will be gay or dead? In Tenchi's case, the former might actually cause the latter. ^_^

Turning around with her unbreakable arms around me would make this compromising situation worse.  Experience is a great teacher.

Recommend: '... around inside her unbreakable grip' or 'unbreakable embrace'

    "Ryoko, please" I told her.  I tried to politely get away from her, but she doesn't understand the meaning of "subtlety."  I just had to jump away.  Unfortunately, my skills and reflexes have improved a little too well.  I jumped up, ran back into my room, tripped, and landed on my bed.  Ryoko quickly took this the wrong way, again.

She does that on purpose, Tenchi!

She reappeared on top of me.
    "I knew this day would come, my Tenchi.  Let's make love all morning and forget about the rest of the universe!" said Ryoko.  She pressed her lips against mine.  I could feel her tongue going into my mouth.  It really felt nice.  For a moment, I stood there and I guess I kind of enjoyed it.  Then I got scared when she quickly moved in and started undressing me.

"Uh, Hi, Ayeka."

Sword fighting Ryoko is tough, but fighting her off while trying to hold on to my clothing is a life and death struggle.
    I broke her kiss.  "Ryoko! Please!" I pleaded.  Ryoko stopped and looked at me.  I had no idea what was going on in her head. Suddenly, she started crying.  I was totally caught unprepared.  I quickly sat up and put my arm around her.
    "I....know why you don't want me?" she cried, "You think I'm too fat!"

D'OH!

    "Ryoko, please, you are very pretty and in great shape," I replied.  I don't even think it is possible for her to get fat. Ryoko continued to cry.
    "Look at me, I look horrible!" she claimed.  I wanted to reassure her some more, but suddenly Ayeka burst into the room.
    "What are you doing with my Lord Tenchi!" Ayeka demanded.  My life flashed before me again.  Another fight was going to happen and Ayeka was blocking the door.  I just had to hope that I wouldn't get too wounded.  Both girls stared at each other.  I could feel their powers charging up.
    "Uh, Ryoko, Ayeka, please.  It is just a misunderstanding," I really wanted to talk things out.
    "SHUT UP!" they both yelled.  Why does it always have to be this hard?
    "Breakfast is ready!" Sasami yelled from downstairs.  Ryoko's eyes lit up.
    "I'm soo hungry!" Ryoko said and teleported away.  Ayeka and I stood there dumbfounded.  I didn't even have time to breath when suddenly, Ayeka grabbed me and pressed her head against my chest.  I could tell she was on the verge of tears.
    "Please, Lord Tenchi, I must know.  I need to ask you something important," Ayeka looked up at me with pleading eyes.
    "You can ask me anything, Miss Ayeka," I said.
    Her eyes were beginning to water.  "I am still attractive to you, Lord Tenchi.  Please, I must know!" she asked.

Recommend: "Am I still attractive to you, Lord Tenchi? Please, I must know!"

    "You are always very beautiful Miss Ayeka.  Please tell me. What's the matter?"  I had no idea what was going on.  I know chaos run rampant at this house, but this is going to the extreme.
    She looked at me with bright hopeful eyes.  Her smile was as bright as the sun itself.  I could never lie to Ayeka.  She is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen.  She quickly regained her composure.
    "Thank you for the nice compliment, Tenchi-sama.  It makes me feel better knowing that I can please you," she said with a sly tone.  I gulped and started to sweat again.  I could never understand what she really meant when she talked like that.
    "I need to take a bath.  Could you tell Sasami I'll eat later?" I had to get out of the room quickly.  Ayeka looked a little disappointed as I walked out.  She simply nodded and walked downstairs.
    I was in the onsen when I suddenly realized what was going on.  Both Ryoko and Ayeka were going through their "time of the month."  How could I have been so stupid?  I'm not as naïve as everybody would like to think.  I know a few things about the facts of life.  I may not understand them, but I know a few things. Living with these girls for the last few years has taught me a thing or two about women.  Usually, one would irritate the other during their time and everything would blow over with little damage to the house.  Ayeka would act more demurely while Ryoko would go out and get drunk.  I had no idea what was going to happen now that both of them were on it at the same time.

While Juraiian physiology may be slightly different from Human physiology (Humans and Juraiians do mix...) Human women tend to 'line up' their menstruation cycles if they live in close proximity. This may be compounded by the physiologies of whatever races spawned Washuu, Ryouko and Mihoshi.

This worried me a lot.  I will admit that I blush watching tampon commercials when one of the girls is watching with me.  I cannot even watch a bra commercial without turning red.  It just brings feelings within me that I don't think would be appropriate, especially with Ayeka or Ryoko.  But this situation demanded action! I had to go to the one person who can help me, Washu!  She would help me.  Surely, she has given them medicines and such to help them over.  I laughed to myself for a second.  She probably forgot to talk to them about it.  Unfortunately, there was a sign on her door saying she will be unavailable for a few days because of some experiment.  I stood there cursing my luck.

Think about it for *just* a second, Tenchi. ^_^

    I sat in the onsen for a while.  I just don't get why these girls have to go after me.  Am I just some prize to win to them?  I like them but I just don't know what to do about it.  I can't ask one out because the other would explode.  This is the time it gets worst.

Recommend: "This is the time when it gets the worst." or "This is when it's worst."

They both say they love me, but I don't think they know what love is.  Now that I think about it, I don't think I do either.  I had to stop thinking about them again.  I get a huge headache whenever I try to solve my pathetic love life.  I figured that enough time went by and the girls should have had breakfast by now.
    "Oh it's good you here," Sasami said, "Ryoko and Ayeka decided to wait and eat when you came from your bath."  This was wonderful.  I could barely hide my expression of doom.  "Oh, they shouldn't have.  Wait, weren't they really hungry?" I said.
"Yeah, but they both lost their appetite when you didn't show," replied Sasami.  Sasami reached into her pocket and pulled out a note.
    "Grandpa left you this," Sasami handed me a note.  I opened it and read it.
    I couldn't believe it.  It was from Grandpa saying that he's going on a retreat for a couple of days.

Ahh, 'Ji-san knows better. Can you imagine what growing up in the same house with Ayeaka, Misaki and Funaho was like? The mind shudders.

Now that I remember, Dad mentioned that he was going fishing with some friends over the weekend.  Oh God!  They both knew what was going on and didn't tell me.  I wanted to run away, but I knew they would just follow me.   This had to happen during a school break.
    "Here you go, Tenchi," Sasami's voice broke my train of thought.  She looked at me with a warm smile.  I can't believe how easily she brightened my mood.  She looked down at me and frowned a little.  "Are you alright, Tenchi?" she asked.
    I smiled back trying to hide my thoughts.  "Oh yeah, I've just got some things on my mind.  Don't worry about it," I said.

Like life, death and the alternatives.

    "Is this about Ayeka's time?" Sasami asked directly.  I was a little shocked hearing her ask about it.  She seems too young to know about such things.  I couldn't help but be embarrassed.  Sasami is the last person I want to talk to this about.
    "Uh, what do mean?" I asked.  Oh god! Why wasn't Washu here? She could probably come up with something.
    "Ayeka tells me that her friend is visiting, but I never see anybody.  She usually says your name a lot and eats a lot of chocolates.  Even in her sleep, she says your name and it sound like she's dreaming of wrestling you or something," Sasami said.

D'OH! Actually, if Sasami is any older than eight or nine, she's probably already expecting her *own* little friend in the next few years, unless she's lived a *very* sheltered life. (Or if Tsunami is sheltering her.)

    I just stood there speechless.  As Kami-sama is my witness, my legs were going numb and I felt my nose about to spurt blood.  I just smiled and rubbed my head, "Oh, it's nothing really, Sasami. You know how Ayeka gets," I hoped she would start buying this. Sasami nodded.  "I hoped Mihoshi would get back from the store but I guess I could put her food in the oven," Sasami said.  She walked back into the kitchen.  I only had time for a few bites when both Ayeka and Ryoko appeared.
    "Good morning, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said as she sat down next to me.  Ryoko appeared at her usual spot on the other side of me. Everything was good and quiet for a while.  Suddenly I felt a hand caressing my thigh.  I quickly looked down and I was about to pass out from the shock.  Ayeka was rubbing my thigh and moving up.  I froze.  I expect this from Ryoko, but Ayeka is a complete shock.

Tense: expected

Recommend: ... but from Ayeka, it was a complete shock.

I snapped back to reality when Ryoko put her arms around my shoulders.  "Tenchi, you shouldn't have run off like that.  I'm going to have to think of ways to punish you, you bad boy," she whispered in my ear.  I could feel another nosebleed coming.
    "Lord Tenchi ran away to save his own life for a horrible monster named Ryoko!" shouted Ayeka.  She pinched Ryoko's hands off me.
    "You haven't seen yourself in the mirror have you, little princess," replied Ryoko.  I could feel both of them charging up their powers.  They were going to fight again and I was once again trapped in the middle.
    "Uh, Ryoko, Ayeka, please no fighting," I said.
    "Stay out!" they both screamed.  I just had to step back.  I finished my food anyway.  I should have known that I was just an object for them to fight over.  If I weren't around, they would fight over something else.  Still, they are my friends.
    I managed to run out of the house in time.  I heard a boom from inside the house.  Luckily, they didn't see me leave.  This gave me enough time to get out and maybe head toward the mall.  I caught the bus in time and I think none of the girls saw me.  I could get into town, check out a movie and hang out.  The girls would get mad, but I could buy them a present.  I could buy five nice necklaces or something.

Recommend: "I thought none of the girls..."

    The mall was a nice change of pace.  I caught a movie and caught up on some new mangas.  This is what I needed.  Sometime away from all the chaos was good.

Recommend: Some time away from...

I sat down at the park and watched a dance party.  It was some TV showing kids dancing around at the park.  I rather liked the music. I rarely have a chance to listen to anything new.

Hrmm... You'd think Tenchi would be exposed to music of all worlds?

We see Mihoshi and Washuu watching alien soap operas at least once. Does planet Jurai have an equivalent to MTV?

    "Hello," said a voice from behind.  I turned around saw Ayeka standing behind me.  I was about to ask how she found me, but I knew better.
    "Ayeka, nice to see you here," I said.  She was quiet and somber.
    "I'm sorry for interrupting your day," she said.  I didn't mean to hurt her.  I knew she must have been thinking I ran out on them.  Which is true and I feel bad now.

Recommend: I knew she must have been thinking I ran out on them, which is true and made me feel bad.

    "No, I just wanted to go out and get some shopping done.  I caught this show and just started watching," I said.  She seemed to be cheered up.  I reached into my bad and pulled out one of the necklaces.  "I know you have tons of rare and more valuable jewels, but I thought this would look nice on you," I said.  I pulled open the package and showed her a nice gold necklace.  It was plain with a purple gem on it.  It cost me a bit, since I had to buy five necklaces.  Good thing I had some saved up money.

Yikes!



After this spot in the story the paragraph indentations go away. It's quite a jar, and makes the story more difficult to follow. Of course, I recommend using paragraph indentations and blank lines between paragraphs for maximum readability.

Ayeka's eyes sparkled.  "Oh, Tenchi, it is the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen," she said.  She quickly put in on and smiled.  I had to admit it looked nice on her.  I think Ayeka sparkled more than the purple emerald.
"Tenchi, have you seen Mihoshi?" she asked.
"No, Miss Ayeka," I said.  I just remembered I haven't seen her all day.
"We went out looking for her," she said.  Her look gave her away.  I knew they would go out looking for me.  "I'm sure she's fine," I said.
Ayeka looked out to the people dancing.  "Oh, that looks like fun. Tenchi would you please dance with me?" she asked.  I'm not much of a dancer, but it did seem like fun.  I took Ayeka's hand and led her down to the dance way.

Recommend a paragraph break.

Just as we stepped on the dance floor, the music shifter to a slow dance.

shifter --> shifted (?)

She quickly put her arms around me.  We gently moved around to the rhythm of the music.  She rested her head on my chest.  This was a nice feeling.  I opened my eyes and stiffened a little.  We were directly in front of the TV camera.  I slowly moved away then another jolt of fear struck me.  I felt a squeeze from behind.  I looked down to and saw Ayeka's hand.  Is this how Jurians get?
"Miss Ayeka," I said.  She put her finger on my lip.  She smiled and caressed my cheek.  Ayeka has always been a more polite and formal. This was too much for me.  She removed her finger and started moving closer to me.  I stood there frozen.  Our lips gently touched.  It wasn't as passionate as Ryoko's, but there was something there.  My heart started beating so fast.  Ayeka slowly moved her lips away. She looked at me with a loving look.  A warm feeling came over my body as she held me in her harms.  I suddenly became aware that I had my arms around her and I could feel her warmth and softness.
"Tenchi!" screamed a voice.  Ayeka and me both turned our heads.  It was Sasami smiling.  "Why did you run off like that this morning?" she asked.  I was about to answer when she interrupted me.  "Do you Ayeka had a fit and made us run out looking for you?" she stated.  I looked over to Ayeka.  She was smiling hiding her embrassament.

Recommend: "You and Ayeka had a fight and made us run out to look for you, didn't you?

"I guess we should start heading back then," I said.  It was getting late and might as well head back to the chaos, which is my life.   I reached into my bag and handed Sasami another necklace.  She face brightened and gave me a strong hug.
"Thank you, Tenchi!" she said.  I could feel Ayeka getting a tinge of jealousy.
"Please Sasami, that is not ladylike.  Remember, we are in public," she said sternly.  Sasami simply nodded and took her sister's hand. A thought occurred to me.
"Where's Ryoko?" I asked.
"She was with Ayeka when we came out of the bus," Sasami said.
Ayeka giggled, "I saw her head into some bar.  She said not to worry about her."  Ayeka then grabbed my arm and started walking back to the bus stop.
The bus ride was uneventful and we headed back home.  I had to admit that it wasn't really a bad day.  I managed to get by without getting hurt or having to repair the house.  Sasami went it to make dinner and Ayeka and I relaxed watching TV.  She still put her hand on my thigh.  I wish somebody would tell me how to handle these situations.
Dinner came and it was just we three.  The phone rang before we sat down.  It was Mihoshi saying that she was lost, but she thinks she found the way home.  I was about to start on my meal when Ryoko suddenly appeared.  Her eyes were bloodshot and she stank of sake.
"Hey! you little bitch!" screamed Ryoko.  Ayeka stood with her nose high.  Ryoko continued pointing.  "You spiked my drink just so you could get to Tenchi!" Ryoko accused.
"You just drank yourself to a drunken stupor," Ayeka crossed her arms.

Recommend losing 'drunken': "You just drank yourself into a stupor!"

Ayeka stood up.  I slowly crawled out of the room.  Sasami was managed to clear the table and set

Recommend: '...had managed...'

everything up in the kitchen.  I joined and started eating.  We could hear crashes and small explosions going on in the next room. Sasami and I didn't speak any words.  We just sat and ate like normal.
The evening went quickly as I cleaned up the room and fixed what I could.  I guess Washu could help whenever she gets back.  I was so tired.  My legs were getting heavy by the time I headed into my room.  Good thing Ayeka and Ryoko were too exhausted from their fight to come bother me.  I decided to give Ryoko her necklace later when she isn't so emotional.  I started to drift away until I heard a knock on my door.

Recommend: ...later when she wasn't so emotional.

I got up and walked over.  A sudden chill came down my spine.  I opened the door.  I could feel my eyes going wide and another nosebleed coming.  There in front of me, stood Mihoshi wearing a silk silk Kimono.

Repeated word: silk.

Actually, unless it was *very* thin, a silk kimono wouldn't be all that nose-bleed inducing. It would highlight a few curves, yes, but not a lot.

Now, until they heard her start to ramble, the sight of Mihoshi in silken lingerie would probably bring most men to their knees.

"Evening Tenchi," she said in a low voice.  Something was wrong here.  She was not her usual energetic self.  She was quiet but still very serious.  She pulled out a bottle of champagne and held two glasses.
"Sorry for being out all day.  I've had to get some women's things. But I'm here for you and only you," said Mihoshi.  She loosened her Kimono.  I caught a glimpse of Mihoshi's full exposed chest.

'Glimpse' and 'Full' are sort of contradictory. Recommend something along the lines of: 'I caught a glimpse of the very top of Mihoshi's exposed breasts' or something similar.

I could feel a trickle of blood going down.

Hrrmm... Where are you bleeding from, Tenchi-san? This *could* be symptomatic of a serious medical condition. ^_^

She moved in closer.  "I want you Tenchi.  You're my destiny," she said.  I remember hitting the floor but nothing else.
 I don't remember much about what happened later.  I think I was somehow saved, but I don't recall a thing.  Something tells me that I shouldn't remember.  I guess I should really count my blessings. I have the most wonderful friends on earth.  I just have to take a fishing trip once a month.

Well, this was certainly cute and entertaining. I'm certain you're going to take some flak for the comic portrayal of PMS, but no one who writes about it doesn't. It was funny and cute, and that is what really matters.

I'd really like to see more of Tenchi's 'journal entries'. It seems like they'd be rather easy to write, and there's no 'ending' so to speak, so you don't have to lead up to anything unless you just felt like it.

Keep writing!

C.

* * *
C. Jones - cjones@arn.net
ARNet Incorporated - (806)355-3539

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.

- Puck: A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 5, Scene 1