Well, just a little spam here yall. It was bound to happen. Seems to
happen to everyone at some time or another.
CURSE YOU BILL GATES!
Yes, my hard drive crashed. Netscape, which has been providing me with
reliable service for years now, has quit. My address book and old email files,
lost.
Crys Norton, I know you�re out there, I�m terribly sorry. Yours was one
of the last responses to part two of 2ToL and I�m terribly sorry that I didn�t
get to respond before my computer died.
In fact, everyone who�s been wondering why I haven�t responded to email
lately now has the answer. I don�t have your email addresses or ICQ numbers
anymore.
A great big apology goes out to those I agreed to preread for, only to
lose the fics and addresses.
Well, yall have mine and I�d appreciate an email or message from you so I
can rebuild and recover.
And just because people are starving all over the world and my Momma told me to
never waste spam, here�s a little thing I like to call Two Types of Liars, part
three.
C&C please, I�m trying to improve my writing style. Helping the fic is
probably asking too much, I think it�s beyond help now.
Two Types of Liar
*****
(This is just perfect,) thought Ranma-chan. (Figures that Pops would keep
a little think like an engagement secret.)
Genma had in fact ran off at the very start of the commotion, and Ranma
had a sneaking suspicion as to what he was up to. He actually knew, but
ignorance is bliss.
The rest of the Tendos were clustered around Kasumi, who was laying
unconscious on the floor. After a few minutes of worriedly checking her over,
Soun tenderly picked her up and took her to her room.
Akane turned to their guest. �You�ll have to excuse my sister, she gets
overly emotional at times.�
Ranma blinked. �I see...�
Akane cocked her head sideways. �You really do plan on being the guy huh?
You�ve even got the mannerisms down.�
Ranma-chan scratched the back of his head nervously. �Uh, what can I say?
Practice?�
�Daddy said that you are a martial artist. Do you know kempo?�
�A little.�
�Oh, wow! I do too! Wanna spar?�
�Well, oHEY!� Ranma protested as Akane grabbed her hand and dragged her
out the back door.
Akane led the way to the dojo, then left Ranma standing in the middle of
the floor as she walked over to a gi left laying against one wall.
Ranma watched in bug eyed amazement as Akane unceremoniously stripped off
her clothes and piled them neatly beside the gi, then bent over to pick it up.
Ranma quickly turned around and face the other direction. �Geez, do you
always change out in public?�
�Huh?� Akane asked as she slipped the cloth on, neglecting to put on
underwear first. �Oh, you mean the clothes? I don�t see what the big deal is,
I mean, I�ll let you see mine if you�ll let me see yours.�
Ranma choked.
�Well, are you ready?� Akane asked as she turned around and assumed a
fighting stance.
Ranma backed away dubiously. �I don�t know...�
Misunderstanding Ranma�s expression for fear, Akane hurried to assure her.
�Don�t worry, I won�t hurt you unless you want me to.�
Ranma sighed, then shrugged.
Akane threw a wild right hook in Ranma�s direction, one so unexpected in
it�s sloppiness that Ranma had a hard time avoiding it.
It wasn�t that it was very fast, although there was a fair amount of
strength behind it, it was that Ranma had a hard time adjusting to the
unexpectedness of it.
The next few kicks and punches were of the more traditional kempo style
Anything Goes was based off of, but Ranma was wary of those unexpected blows.
He knew drunk-fu when he saw it.
Akane was impressing him with her variety of styles, she rarely stuck to
one for very long and would shift back and forth with amazing speed, keeping him
on his toes. Finally she threw a full force crane style punch that, lacking
anywhere else to go, Ranma simply jumped over and landed behind her.
Akane, unable to stop herself, punched a hole in the wall of the dojo.
Ranma reached over and lightly tapped her on the shoulder.
Akane pulled her arm out of the hole in the wall and turned to Ranma.
�You�re pretty good, but why don�t you hit back? Come on, I don�t mind.� She
took a wild kick at Ranma that deliberately left a large opening.
She frowned when Ranma failed to take the opportunity. (She�s not even
taking me serious! Lets see how she reacts when I really try...)
Ranma was wary of Akane tricks, and was pretty sure he could avoid
anything Akane threw at him. Still, he got kind of nervous when Akane suddenly
stopped and lightly stroked the side of her body. He stepped back a few steps
as he saw the stars appear in Akane�s eyes. (Ohboy, this can�t be good.)
�STUDMUFFIN!� she suddenly screamed.
�What?� Ranma-chan exclaimed, freezing in his tracks as he tried to figure
out what she was talking about.
This proved to be a mistake, as Akane launched herself in his direction
without so much as a tensing of the muscles to give her intentions away.
*GLOMP*
�WAHH!� Ranma yelled in shock. �Get off me!� He was in some sort of
weird hold that he couldn�t get out of, and no matter how much he struggled he
couldn�t even get an arm free. They slowly toppled over to the floor, unable
to adjust his center of balance. What was worse was that Akane appeared to be
rubbing his... �HELP!�
The hand suddenly stopped it�s wandering path and came to rest on his
upper arm. Akane seemed to have about six legs and ten arms, he�d never had
this hold used against him before and didn�t know how to break it.
�Sorry about that, this is a really hard technique and it takes a certain
mindset to use,� Akane apologized from somewhere down below his line of sight.
�I�ll bet,� he said dryly.
�But it�s really handy when I get a hold on them. Watch.� She started
moving, to all intents and purposes looking like she was straightening out and
getting up. But the knot she had tied herself into had to go somewhere, and
Ranma was the only choice at the moment.
�OOW! HEY!�
�See?�
�I see, I see! I�ll take your word for it!�
�Oh, okay.� Akane let go, allowing Ranma to spring back into shape. She
offered Ranma a hand in getting up.
Ranma accepted the hand out of courtesy. �That was... Interesting.
You�re pretty good yourself.�
�Thanks!� said Akane cheerfully. �Are you going to take me more seriously
next time?�
�I, um, was raised not to hit girls,� Ranma said nervously, scratching the
back of his head.
Akane looked at Ranma with a puzzled look on her face. �You�re really
into this aren�t you? Maybe Daddy had the right idea after all.�
Ranma smacked his hand into his forehead. (I need to change back, this
being a girl thing just ain�t gonna cut it. And I�ve got to get rid of this
engagement.)
Akane�s lust for battle having been slaked for the time being, she
suggested that they head in. Pausing to grab her clothes, she lead the way back
across the yard.
�Um,� Ranma began, trying to find a good excuse to get some private time,
�I could really use a bath. Been on the road all that time and all.�
Akane nodded her head. �Yeah, I could stand one as well. I�m going to go
check on Kasumi, you go ahead.�
Ranma nodded. �Um, where are the towels and stuff?�
�Here,� Akane showed him.
Ranma looked nervously around as he grabbed his pack and carried it into
the changing room. He quickly rummaged through and gathered up the appropriate
bathing accessories, then stepped into the bathroom and slid the door shut.
****************
Akane barely glanced at the door to the furo, as she well knew that Ranma
was inside.
Kasumi had recovered nearly instantly when Soun had started to call the
doctor. She�d once made a vow about dying first, and showed every indication of
keeping that vow.
Although Akane was completely unselfconscious when it came to skin, as
well as pretty much everything else, even she was a little startled to find her
guest sitting on the edge of the furo and enjoying herself.
To say that Ranma-chan was startled, however, would have been a bit of an
understatement. He had the same look in his eyes that a rabbit has as it�s
trying to guess the make of the car that�s about to run over it as he stared
straight at Akane�s nude form. And the first words out of his mouth were, �Aww,
geez. Not again.�
The buzzing of the vibrator seemed to add to the urgency of the situation,
but Ranma chose to forgo the option of shutting it off for the somewhat more
attractive option of covering her face with her hands and blushing.
Akane�s almost incessantly cheerful nature saved them both further
embarrassment from the awkward situation. �You know, if you cock your hand just
a little bit more and twist it like so...� Akane kneeled down and reached to
demonstrate.
Ranma-chan just sort of squeaked and scooted backwards, legs sticking out
toward Akane. �What the heck do you think you�re doing?� she squealed
indignantly, voice made even higher by the interesting feel of the vibration
dancing across the tiles underneath her. She squirmed a little and reached
underneath herself, pulling the vibrator out with one hand.
Akane shrugged. �Being friendly? It�s no big deal, I�ve been caught lots
of times.�
Akane watched Ranma a few more seconds and then turned and picked up the
shower head. While the bucket might have been more traditional, she�d developed
a preference for the adjustable shower massager that had nothing to do with the
sore muscles she developed after particularly strenuous training.
�Excuse me, um, what are you doing now?� Ranma asked.
�Oooh,� Akane replied as she ran the shower head down the front of her
body, slowly. �I�m getting wet, what does it look like I�m doing?�
Ranma�s eyes nearly bugged out for the second time that day. �Um, yes, ah
ha, I see, no, I mean, I�m not looking, ah, could I please get a little
privacy?�
Akane reached over and carefully adjusted the water pressure and
temperature with one hand, keeping the nozzle pressed firmly against her
stomach. �Why?�
�Please? This is awkward.�
Akane gasped as something occurred to her. �Oh, I�m so terribly sorry!
I�m being rude to a guest!�
Ranma looked puzzled despite himself.
�Here I am, hogging the shower when it�s you as our guest who should be
allowed to use it! I�m so terribly sorry, here you can have it.� Akane pulled
the shower head away and leaned forward so she could hand the outstretched hose
to Ranma.
That wasn�t quite what Ranma had in mind though, and she backed away
farther. �No, that�s not what I meant...�
Backing away was probably a bad idea though, as it forced Akane to lean a
little bit more and start crawling in order to reach. She didn�t notice the
slick spot, possibly from soap, on the tiles though, and slipped.
Her leg lashed out in a desperate attempt to keep her balance, striking
the cold water knob and somehow turning it on full. Her hand, already
outstretched in Ranma�s direction, came down hard on the tiles between Ranma�s
legs with the shower nozzle still clutched in it�s grasp.
A sudden high pressure blast of cold water, a body still warm from the
previous dip in the furo, and just the right angle...
�EEEEEEEEEE!�
****************
Meanwhile, back in the living room, Kasumi had calmed down and was
cleaning the house and serving tea in a very determined manner.
Soun was kicking back with a newspaper and staring at the male form of his
friend that had just walked in from somewhere else in the house.
Nabiki could have been standing right there as well, but no one would have
noticed.
Soun had just opened his mouth to say something to his old friend, Genma
had just opened his own mouth to say something back, and Kasumi had just picked
up a vase to dust it when a very loud, very high pitched, piercing scream
interrupted them all.
�Glarg!� said Soun, covering his ears.
Genma choked on whatever he was about to say.
*CRASH* went the vase as Kasumi involuntarily dropped it, emitting a soft
�eep� of her own. A distant thump was ignored by all present.
�PERVERT!� Ranma-chan screamed as he ran full speed through the house and
skidded to a halt in the living room, still panting. �There�s a pervert in the
bathroom!�
Soun nodded wearily with his head bent down, trying to feel his heart. �I
see you�ve made friends with Akane already.� Then he looked up and froze much
like Kasumi.
Genma just covered his face with his hands and left the room, leaving his
son to his fate for the second time that day.
Akane sedately walked in behind Ranma, wearing a towel. �Excuse me? Who
is calling who a pervert?�
She tried to stop herself, to no avail. With a certain sick fascination,
Kasumi�s gaze slowly took in the water dripping from her husband/wife onto the
floor, the definite lack of clothing, the final proof of Ranma�s natural hair
color, Ranma�s deepening full body blush that was rapidly approaching that
color, and finally, Ranma�s choice of bathroom accessories.
*THUD*
Coming soon!
Webpage updates, including a large tribute page to everyone who has helped
me with my works and commented on my fics.
Special thanks to John Go (hpackrat@hotmail.com) who has devoted a large
portion of his time to this series and even agreed to co-author and/or finish
the rest of this little idea. Thanks also to X-ile and his insistence I write
more.
And my major project which should see another post before the end of the
year...
The next chapter of APCSCGR!
Yay!
Just email ballisticsausage@hotmail.com with your replies, I�m having to
change ISPs again when I move back home. I�ll respond as soon as I�m able!
Ragun P. Moody
AKA Kichigai
ICQ# 37606443
Visit my site! http://lavender.fortunecity.com/clockwork/416/index.html
There are two types of liars in the world. Those who say they haven�t, and
those who say they quit.