Okay, an early xmas gift for you all (but not really a xmas themed part).
Enjoy and don't kill me for the ending... or I can't write more. :)
C&C is always appreciated.
=======================================================================
Garden of EVA 1:8 - Fatherhood Sucks!
Book 1: Sucks
Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright
by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission
Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-1999 by Jim
Lazar
A series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion that really
sucks.
<Speech text in angle brackets is thought by character.>
"Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese."
E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at:
http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
=======================================================================
There are a couple references to/from End of Evangelion in this part
(and more in the next part). I have endeavored to keep spoilers down to
a minimum, but there may be potential spoilers herein.
And all the usual sex, blood, guts, and bad jokes are here too. "Of
course, it's Garden of EVA."
=======================================================================
Shinji straightened his bow tie and looked at his reflection in the
mirror. <The tie looks good, but the face looks nervous.> He took
several deep breaths and tried to calm himself. <I shouldn't be nervous.
We will have a fun time and not worry about anything.>
After getting his hand to stop shaking, Shinji turned around and
started to walk towards his destination. After he reached her door, he
paused. <No, this isn't going to work.> He started to turn around when
he stopped himself. <No!! I won't back out!> He turned around and
knocked on the door.
Behind the door, Rei sprang to her feet and smiled. "He's here!!"
She checked her hair in a mirror and flicked a strand of hair that was
out of place. "I'm going, Mom!!"
"Have fun, Dear, but not too much fun, if you know what I mean."
Rei sighed. "Okay, okay... I already promised not to fuck him
during our date tonight!"
On the other side of the door, Shinji blushed at hearing Rei's
shout. <No need to be nervous... she just said she wouldn't do that.>
His hand started to shake again as he raised his arm to knock again.
Before his hand reached the door, Rei opened it. "Hi, Shinji!" She
smiled.
Shinji's heart skipped a beat as he withdrew his hand. "Hi...
Rei..." His voice cracked and rose a few octaves. He held out his other
hand and handed a bouquet of roses to her. "Here."
Rei face brightened as she took the flowers. "Thank you, Shinji.
Shall we go?"
Shinji nodded, not trusting his voice. He held out his hand and Rei
eagerly took it.
"So, where are we going?"
Shinji looked at Rei and smiled. "Over to the other side of the
theater."
"Oh, it's so pretty over there." Rei beamed. "I like the bow tie,
by the way."
Shinji blushed. "Thanks."
"It doesn't go with the rest of what you're wearing, though."
Shinji looked down at his naked body and frowned. "It doesn't?"
Rei shrugged, causing her naked chest to rise slightly. "It just
seems out of place for some reason."
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji and Rei lay next to each other and stared at the ceiling.
"You do this a lot?" Rei asked after she grew tired of staring.
"Yeah... it's sort of relaxing."
"It's a bit boring."
"Yeah... that too."
Rei sat up. "Shinji?"
Shinji looked up at her and saw that mischievous look in her eyes
that he used to see in Asuka's eyes. <Uh... oh. She wants to fuck.> He
swallowed and then reluctantly answered her. "Yes, Rei?"
"Can we..."
"Can we?"
"Can we paint the ceiling?"
Shinji's mouth dropped open at the unexpected question. "Huh?"
"Well, since you think it's boring, let's paint it a different
color."
Shinji thought for a few moments before smiling broadly. "Okay...
why not."
-E- -V- -A-
Later, Shinji lay on the floor of the theater and looked up at the
ceiling. For once, he didn't get depressed when he did this. Instead of
its old solid white paint job, it now had a vivid rainbow painted across
its surface. Flowers and other colorful plants were painted around the
rainbow in a splash of color that the theater desperately needed.
Shinji looked over at Rei and then down at his naked body. He
frowned when he saw all the paint drops and splashes on his skin. He
looked back at Rei and wondered how she had avoided getting any paint on
her. "How did you keep from getting paint on you?"
"I was careful."
"Ah." Shinji turned his head back and contemplated the ceiling. He
stealthily reached over and grabbed a paintbrush with red paint on it.
In one quick swipe, he painted a racing stripe down Rei's side.
"Shinji!"
Shinji smiled playfully and painted two circles around her breasts.
In retaliation, Rei reached behind her and grabbed a blue
paintbrush. With a flurry of movement, she wrote 'oak tree' on Shinji's
chest and an arrow down to his groin.
In no time, the two teenagers were splashing paint all over each
other. After several minutes of this, Rei's blue hair was a mixture of
red, blue, green, purple, and burnt umber. The rest of her body was
splashed with similar colors.
Rei had been more detailed in her painting. In addition to her
pointing out Shinji's mighty oak, she also had painted lightning bolts
down his thighs, flower petals around his nipples, a kabuki mask on his
face, and a tiger-striped thong on his nether regions. How she managed
to paint in such detail was anybody's guess.
Shinji was trying his best to get her back in kind, but was
obviously not able to do anything as detailed as the 'kick me' painted
on his backside. He reached a brush towards her, but she easily dodged
his attempts to paint 'spank me' on her buttocks. Maybe he should have
just spanked her instead, she might not have dodged that.
In his attempts to paint Rei, Shinji slipped on a discarded
paintbrush and fell forwards. Rei reached out to help, but instead ended
up falling with him. They crashed onto the floor together. Shinji
grunted and opened his eyes to find himself looking directly into Rei's
eyes. "Um..."
Rei waited for something to happen. Half of her was longing for his
kiss and the other half was screaming about the pain from her hip where
he had landed on her. She ignored the later, in hopes of the former.
After an eternity of beating hearts, Shinji slipped off her body.
"Sorry." He slipped a few meters away and sat cross-legged on the floor.
Rei frowned as she got up off the floor and knelt down next to him,
rubbing her hip. "Shinji... didn't you want to kiss me?"
Shinji didn't look up. "Yeah..."
"Then why didn't you? I enjoyed it when you kissed me before."
"I don't know. I wanted to, but..."
"But what? I thought you had made a choice."
"I did and I want to see it out... but..."
Rei reached out and pulled Shinji's head to face her. "But what?"
"I... don't have any protection."
Astonished, Rei's legs went limp and she fell to the side, making a
mighty thump when she hit the floor.
Shinji grabbed a paintbrush and grinned mischievously. He quickly
wrote 'spank me' on her buttocks. "Got you!!"
Rei spun around a few times trying to see what he wrote, but
couldn't. "What does it say?"
Shinji smiled. "I'm not telling."
"Please." Rei started to get dizzy from spinning around trying to
look at her own butt.
"I'll show you."
"Okay."
-E- -V- -A-
Asuka heard a loud slapping sound and looked up from the card game
she was playing with Misato. "What was that?"
Misato clenched her fists. "I don't know." She looked back at her
cards. <I promised Rei I wouldn't interfere with their date today, but I
don't know how much longer I can ignore all those sounds.>
Asuka smiled as she lifted her two replacement cards. "Ha!"
Misato looked at her opponent. <She's not very good at poker.>
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji banged his head repeatedly against the last wall in his room
without head holes in it. "No... no... no."
Shinji's mother poked her head in the door. "Shinji, are you sure
you won't talk to me about this? You've been upset about something for
the past few days. If it's about your engagement..."
"I'm not marrying Asuka!!"
Yui flinched from the loud outburst. "Then what is it?"
<We all agreed not to tell anyone else until we could confirm who
was the father, but not knowing is killing me.> Shinji stopped banging
his head and collapsed onto his bed. "I'm just upset about missing my
train to Osaka-2 the other day. No-refunds, my ass."
Yui sighed. "Come on." She held out her hand.
"Huh?"
"If you must see her, we can go down together today."
Shinji was stunned. He looked between his mother and the clock,
mentally calculating the time they had until the next train. "Why all of
a sudden?"
"I had hoped you would realize that it's just a crush or
infatuation by now. Maybe talking to her will..."
Shinji got angrily to his feet. "It's not a crush, it's love!!"
"Shinji, you're too young to know what love is."
Shinji looked ready to continue fighting, but decided it was a
waste of time. "Whatever... let's just go." He walked over to his
dresser and paused. "I'll be right out."
"Okay." Yui sighed and left her son's room, wondering if she was
doing the right thing. <Well, at least I can have a good long talk with
him on the way down.>
After his mother left, Shinji opened his top drawer and pulled out
the little ring box. <Nothing is going to stop me today.>
-E- -V- -A-
"We're sorry, but due to mechanical problems, the ten O'clock train
to Osaka-2 has been canceled."
"Fuck!!" Shinji screamed, oblivious to the other waiting passengers
on the platform.
"Shinji, watch your language." Yui put a comforting hand on
Shinji's shoulder. "There's always tomorrow."
"I can't wait any longer! You can't possibly know how it feels to
be separated from her."
Yui smiled. "Yes, I can. When your father is away at one his
seminars..."
Shinji laughed. "Learning the best way to unstick vending machine
nozzles is hardly a seminar!"
Yui ignored her son's interruption. "I miss him terribly when we're
apart."
"It's not the same, I LOVE Rei!"
Yui smirked. "Despite his shortcomings, I do love your father."
"Shortcomings... right."
Yui sighed. "Shinji, your father is a good man. He has his flaws-"
She exhaled deeply. "-many, many flaws. I can't even count them anymore.
I tried once and got a headache. I mean, how does one man have so many
flaws? It's..."
Shinji cleared his throat to stop his mother's ramblings.
Yui looked a bit embarrassed. "Anyway, what I mean is that it's not
like he's some sort of evil megalomaniac bent on destroying the world."
"Sometimes I wonder..."
Yui smiled slightly. "Just between you and me, he's not exactly a
rocket scientist. He can't even get our HD-DVD recorder to stop flashing
twelve o'clock, let alone figure out how to destroy the world." She
started laughing.
Despite himself, Shinji joined her.
Yui gave her son a long hug. "That's what I like to see, my happy
son."
"If you truly want me to be happy, you'll let me live with Rei."
"Shinji..."
An announcement interrupted Yui. "Ladies and gentlemen, the train
arriving on platform two is being rerouted to return to Osaka-2 to
replace the southbound train that some moron ran off the tracks."
A second voice was heard over the loudspeakers. "It wasn't my
fault! A blond girl in a sailor suit ran across the tracks!"
"Before you said it was a rabbit."
"Exactly!!"
"Alright!" Shinji exclaimed and grabbed their bags. He rushed
towards the bullet train that was just pulling up to the platform. "Come
on, Mom."
Yui reluctantly followed her suddenly re-energized son. <He really
does love her.>
As Shinji and Yui stepped onto the train, another mother and child
stepped off from the next car.
"It's about time. I thought you'd nag me to death before we got
here!" Rei snapped as she made her way to the exit.
Ritsuko glared at her daughter. "That is no way to speak to me
after I just got you out of three years of prison!"
"Fine... I'll wait until later." Rei went silent, as if giving up
the fight.
Ritsuko smirked at her triumph. The smirk vanished when Rei started
speaking a moment later.
"Okay, it's later. You know damn well that you and grandmother did
it just to avoid the stigma of your unwed daughter having a baby in
jail. Just being in jail makes me 'just another bad kid' and you could
probably get sympathy from your stuck up friends, but being left in jail
when I'm pregnant would make you a bad mother in their eyes. Right?"
"You could be a little more grateful."
"Yeah, right. You were going to leave me to rot in jail!"
Ritsuko sighed and decided she wasn't going to win this argument.
Rei smiled at finally getting her mother to shut up.
-E- -V- -A-
Later that day, a very tired Shinji and Yui stumbled into their
apartment.
Shinji threw down their bags. "I don't believe that we went all the
way down to Osaka-2 and she wasn't there!! How could she have gotten out
of jail and not have told me!"
Yui opened her mouth to speak, but someone else replied.
"Because I wanted to surprise you."
Shinji looked down the hallway and saw Rei standing at the end.
"Rei!!" He closed the distance in a split second and pulled her into a
long kiss.
After the kiss went into its second minute, Yui cleared her throat.
When it entered it's third minute, Yui pulled the two teenagers apart.
"Put your hormones in check. What are you doing here, Rei?"
Rei was trying to catch her breath after the long kiss, but she was
still smiling. "Your husband let us in."
Shinji and Yui looked around.
Rei giggled. "He's hiding in the bathroom."
Yui rolled her eyes.
Rei turned toward Shinji. "I'm sorry, Shinji. If I had known you
were coming to visit, I'd have told you I was getting released today. I
wanted to surprise you."
"You did." Shinji started give her another kiss, but was
interrupted only seconds into it.
"Get your lips off my daughter, you asshole!"
Shinji instinctively backpedaled away from Rei at hearing the
angry shout. "Oh... you're here, old woman." He did not sound thrilled
to see Ritsuko.
Ritsuko glared at Shinji. "Shut up, or I won't let you marry my
daughter."
Two jaws hit the floor and made a mighty thump. Those jaws belonged
to a mother and son.
-E- -V- -A-
Two mothers squared off across from each other in the living room
with their respective son or daughter. After being dragged out of the
bathroom, the father of both children sat as far away from the two
mothers as he could manage.
"I'm sorry, but Shinji is already engaged to marry Asuka," Yui
stated.
Rei frowned. "Why? Have you forgotten me after so short of time?"
"It's not my idea, Rei! Our parents set it up years ago and just
told me recently!" Shinji blurted, wanting to take Rei in his arms to
reassure her. Only Ritsuko's repeated threats to cause him great bodily
harm kept Shinji from doing so now.
Rei's face fell and she seemed to be on the verge of tears. "Oh...
so you can't marry me then?"
"You bet I can!! Asuka can go take a flying leap!""
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji came out of his trance after Asuka bashed him over the head
with a mallet. "Hey!!"
"Jerk!!" Asuka swung the mallet at Shinji's head again.
"Stop that," Rei said casually as she grabbed the mallet in
mid-swing.
Asuka looked in amazement at how Rei had managed to stop her swing
so easily. "He deserves it after so casually ditching me!"
Shinji rubbed his head. "He never accepted that engagement before,
so why is it so surprising now?"
"I just don't like how you're treating me."
Shinji sighed. "I'm sorry, but that world has gotten out of my
control, so it's no use blaming me."
Asuka crossed her arms. "Things seems to be looking up for that
Shinji, if you ask me."
"Just wait till he finds out Rei is pregnant... he'll lose it."
"Want to bet?"
"Sure."
"Okay, if he freaks out, then you can have sex with me. If he
doesn't, then I can have sex with you."
"No!! She's trying to trick you!" Rei blurted.
"Really? Are you sure?" Shinji smirked knowingly and then looked at
Asuka. "Forget it then, Asuka. I don't want to fuck you."
Asuka huffed and folded her hands over her naked bosom.
-E- -V- -A-
Rei smiled. "Thank you, Shinji. I'll do whatever I can to make you
a wonderful wife."
Yui cleared her throat and looked at Ritsuko. "Excuse me, but since
Shinji is already engaged, I'll have to have a reason for your sudden
change of heart before I even consider this as being a serious offer."
Ritsuko glared at Shinji, not particularly pleased to have to make
this confession "After Rei made her decision, I was reluctantly forced
to admit that Shinji should marry her. Despite being the son of that
bastard-" She glanced at Gendou. "-he does appear to love her. I guess a
part of me wants her to be able to have a better life than I did, so at
least this way her child won't be born out of wedlock."
"Yeah, but..." Shinji went silent when Ritsuko's last words finally
sunk in. "Child?"
Rei nodded. "I'm pregnant."
"That's my son!" Gendou proudly blurted.
Yui threw an end table at her husband. "That's the problem, you
idiot! He's too much like you! Well... at least he wouldn't be stupid
enough to get two girls pregnant like you did."
Shinji gulped and thought about the fact that he had a one in three
chance of being the father of Misato's child. They wouldn't know for
sure until they could have some genetic tests done on the fetus and
Shinji was dreading the outcome of that test more every day. The news
that Rei was pregnant just added to his dread.
Yui looked at her son. "Assuming you weren't lying about not
sleeping with Asuka."
"No! I never did!" Shinji snapped, earning a pleased smiled from
Rei. "Except for that one time she tricked me, and we didn't... you
know... finish."
Rei frowned.
Ritsuko spoke up. "Anyway, Rei has decided to keep the baby. Having
gone through the same decision myself, I am at least going to give her
the same support my mother did." She glared at Gendou. "Unfortunately,
the father of my child took off on me."
Shinji was amazed at the change in Rei's mother. Gone was the cold,
hard bitch that had tried to maim, eviscerate, and castrate him--which
one depended on her mood and menstrual cycle. Instead, Shinji saw a
mother who saw herself in her child and was trying to help Rei avoid
making the same mistakes that she had. <Maybe she always was and just
went about it badly.>
Gendou was suddenly the recipient of three very angry female glares
that almost caused his manhood to fall off. He backed into the corner
and looked at Shinji for help. None was forthcoming. "But... but...
they're brother and sister!"
Ritsuko glared at Gendou. "You would know, wouldn't you, asshole?"
Gendou retreated further into the corner and decided not to mention
that little fact anymore, it just seemed to get him into more trouble
for some reason.
Ritsuko looked back at Shinji and Yui. "I already thought about
that. As far as the law is concerned, their birth certificates don't
list any common parents. And they are both fifteen now, so with parental
consent a marriage shouldn't be a problem."
Shinji and Rei exchanged glances. Rei spoke first. "Why didn't we
ever think of that?"
Shinji shrugged his shoulders. He smiled and looked at Ritsuko.
"Ms. Akagi, it would be my pleasure to marry your daughter, my sister,
and mother of my child."
"You haven't heard the conditions yet, sperm-boy."
Shinji frowned. "Huh?"
Rei looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry, Shinji, it was the only
way she would agree."
"What conditions?" Yui asked.
Ritsuko grinned, as if she was going to enjoy telling him. "One,
you'll promise to NEVER call me mother, grandmother, old lady, or
anything other than Ms. Akagi."
Shinji agreed right away. "Deal."
"Second, I get to name the child."
Shinji was a little more hesitant on his agreement for this
condition, but decided it was a small price to pay. "Deal."
Yui and Gendou didn't seem to like that condition.
"Third, you get a vasectomy."
"Deal..." Shinji's balls receded into his body when they realized
what he had just agreed to. His brain figured it out a second later
since it had a slightly lower I.Q. than his balls. "What?!"
Ritsuko's expression didn't change. "You heard me. Being related,
you two can't have any more children and since I can't make sure that
you two don't have sex without cutting off that little cock of yours
that's the only way to ensure you don't have any more children."
"It's not little!!" Rei blurted and then blushed.
Shinji echoed the blush. "Well... if that's what it takes... okay."
Yui put her hand on Shinji's hand. "Shinji, are you sure? You're so
young and what about Asuka?"
Shinji nodded. "I'm sure. I love Rei, Mom. Asuka is a friend, but I
don't love her and never will."
"But... the agreement between her parents and..."
"I never agreed to it and I can't honor it. I'm sorry."
Yui nodded. "Okay, it's your decision. You have to tell her
yourself and deal with the consequences. That's what a man has to do."
"I understand."
Ritsuko looked at everyone assembled. "So, is it agreed?"
Shinji nodded.
Rei nodded enthusiastically.
Gendou wouldn't dare disagree.
All eyes turned towards Yui.
"Please, Mom?"
"I'll try and make sure you son is always happy, Mrs. Ikari."
"Honey?"
"Come on, come on... I don't have all day."
Yui looked at her son. "Shinji, I have been amazed at the maturity
you have... sometimes exhibited during these events."
Shinji seemed to take exception to the 'sometimes', but didn't dare
comment on it.
"So... I will give my permission..."
Shinji jumped over to Rei and gave her a long kiss.
Or started to.
"Wait... I have some conditions of my own."
Shinji reluctantly broke the kiss and looked at his mother. "What?"
"One, you'll clear up your relationship with Asuka once and for
all."
"Deal. There really isn't any relationship anyway."
"That's not what Asuka thinks. Until she accepts it and nullifies
the engagement herself, I will not give my blessing."
"Okay... she's a bit headstrong, but I'll get her to give up her
fantasy."
Yui nodded. "Second, You two live together here with your father
and me at least until you're eighteen."
Ritsuko stood up. "No, they'll live with my grandmother and me!!"
Yui stood up and returned the other mother's glare. "You had your
conditions, I have mine."
The two mothers faced off until one blinked. "Fine, but they don't
get married until her third trimester. I don't want him married to her
if she miscarries."
Rei frowned. "Thanks for the positive outlook, Mom."
"I just don't want to see you stuck in a loveless marriage."
"It won't be loveless!!" Rei and Shinji chorused at the same time.
They smiled at each other and stole a quick kiss.
"Break it up!" Ritsuko snapped.
Rei and Shinji's lips parted, but they continued to hold hands and
stayed close together.
"And my third and last condition..."
Everyone leaned forward to hear Yui's last condition.
"That you both live happily ever after."
Rei had been expecting something different, so just started blankly
at her future mother-in-law.
Shinji smiled. He stood up and gave his mother a kiss on her cheek.
"We will." He turned to Rei's side and looked into her eyes. "I will
make you happy."
Rei smiled. "You already have." She leaned over and gave him long
kiss that was uninterrupted, despite Ritsuko's grinding teeth.
Shinji dug into his pocket and pulled out a small box. "Will you
marry me, Rei?" He opened the box to reveal the ring inside.
Rei gasped and looked at the ring. The diamond was very, very
small, but to her, it was huge. The magnifying glass Shinji was holding
in front of it might have helped too. "How... how could you have known?"
Shinji smiled and lifted the ring out. "I didn't. I was going to
give it to you when I visited you. It wouldn't have been a real
engagement ring then, but it is now. Will you marry me, Rei?"
Rei scrunched up her face, as if thinking about it. "Well, I don't
know...."
Shinji smiled slightly at what he assumed was Rei pulling his leg.
He hoped.
"Okay, I'll marry you." Rei smiled broadly as Shinji slipped the
ring on her finger.
-E- -V- -A-
"This sucks," Asuka said as she dropped to the theater floor in
front of Misato and sulked.
Misato looked down at Asuka. "Well, you're the one who always said
it wasn't real, so why are you upset?"
"Because the little clone gets all the breaks."
"That's my daughter you're talking about."
"Oh yeah... Well, I meant the fake one. Ritsuko's daughter."
Misato seemed to consider this for a few seconds before speaking.
"Yeah, Ritsuko couldn't raise a daughter properly if her life depended
on it."
Asuka grinned when she successfully redirected Misato's anger.
"Yeah, you're doing so much better in raising your Rei."
"Thanks."
-E- -V- -A-
Hikari smiled as her lips parted from Kensuke's. "That was like...
nothing I've ever felt before."
"Yeah..." Kensuke glanced around the park to make sure no one they
knew was around.
Hikari sighed contently and put her head on Kensuke's shoulder. "So
what are we going to tell Touji?"
"What?!" Kensuke screamed and sat up straight, causing Hikari to
slip from his shoulder. "We can't tell him anything! He'll kill me and
then you!"
Hikari pulled slightly away from Kensuke. "But we can't keep doing
this. This is the third time we've been able to get together without
being caught, but I know it can't last. I can't look him in the eye
anymore when he..."
"But... but... he'll kill us!"
"Well, what else can we do? I can't just go on pretending with him
forever. Every time he wants to have sex with me I either have to make
up a story or let him have his way with me."
Kensuke looked over at Hikari, pushing his glasses back up his
nose. "Hikari... I want to keep seeing you, but I can't see any way to
let Touji know and still remain breathing."
Hikari sighed and put her head back on Kensuke's shoulder. "I know,
but we have to do it. And Touji isn't a killer, so don't worry about
that."
-E- -V- -A-
"I'll kill you!!" Touji's fist impacted against the soft stomach
and made a sizable indention. He used his other hand to wipe away the
blood that had splashed across his head. "That'll teach you!!" He
twisted his arm and extracted it, pulling an assortment of intestines
and other assorted organs out of the bloody cavity. He smiled and did a
little happy dance until his head was sliced off.
"Damn!!" Touji shouted as his controls went dead.
Hikari glanced at the display as Touji's Eva was destroyed. <Idiot,
you've got to keep your eyes on the other players.> She glanced around
and noticed that Asuka had a pair of Angels cornered and was slowly
dissecting them. Hikari smiled and then took a running jump and landed
by Kensuke's side. "Need some help?"
"No, I'm fine." Kensuke slashed the Unit Seven in half and then
turned to face a little blob that was rolling towards him.
Hikari keyed her private channel. "Are you sure?" She keyed her
armor release.
"Hikari!!" Kensuke screamed when he saw the naked female body under
her armor. He found himself unable to resist checking out the sensuous
curves. Had it been the featureless female bodies that the Evas normally
had without their armor he could have resisted, but since Hikari had
enabled the full sex cheat, the body was accurate down to the last pubic
hair. His mighty maple responded to the sight. He reached over and keyed
his armor release, the sex cheat, and full privacy mode cheat.
The later cheat caused the black blob to suddenly roll off in
another direction in search of a visible target. Asuka ended up being
crushed to death by it.
Hikari smiled as Kensuke's armor fell away and revealed the
twenty-foot long penis. <Whoever designed this game is one sick person.>
Elsewhere, Rei's grandmother sneezed.
-E- -V- -A-
Touji watched Asuka come out of the launch bay. "How'd you do?"
Asuka shrugged. "Not bad, but we really have to get Shinji to
practice with us."
"We're lucky that the organizers are going to let him play again. I
just wish we didn't have to use Misato and her boy-toy to play in the
final match. They are so bad."
Asuka pounded the wall, causing her breasts to bounce. "Don't
remind me. If it wasn't for the fact that we'd have to forfeit without
them, I'd never play with that asswipe."
"Why don't you like him?"
Asuka's blushed and started to turn away, but then stopped. "None
of your damn business!!" She shouted at Touji and backed him into a
corner. "He's a jerk, that's all!" She shook her fist in his face,
causing her breasts to bounce repeatedly.
<Wow, Asuka's really stacked. Hmm, maybe if I...> He titled his
head. "Too bad Rei is still in jail or we'd be a shoe in."
"We can win without the little tramp!!" Asuka harrumphed and
crossed her arms over her breasts, causing her cleavage to become more
pronounced.
"I'm not so sure..."
Asuka took a step towards Touji and punched his chest. "Dummkopf!
There is no way I'd ever play with Rei again! The two old fogies are
where I draw the line!" She repeated her punch to punctuate her point.
Right on cue, Touji slid down to the floor as if the punch really
hurt him and was greeted with a spectacular view of Asuka's panties
under her short skirt. <Wow, what a sight.> He looked around. <Where is
Hikari? I need to fuck her now.>
-E- -V- -A-
Hikari moaned as Kensuke's Eva made sweet passionate love to her.
<Ah... even in here, he's great.> Every few seconds she would
subconsciously glance at the privacy indicators to make sure that they
couldn't be seen by anyone else. "Damn... how can you be this good,
Ken-chan!"
"You're the one who's good."
Hikari blushed a deep shade of red as she followed the movements of
their naked Evas on the displays. She tilted her head. "Oh my, Touji
never managed that."
-E- -V- -A-
"Are you in here, Shinji?" Asuka said as she poked her head into
his room.
Shinji quickly pulled the blanket over his body. "Asuka!! Um...
what are you doing here?"
"I came to try and convince you to start training for the finals
with your friends and fiancee!!" Asuka struck a sexy pose for him, which
didn't exactly do anything to convince Shinji to concede to her wishes.
Shinji flinched. "I told you, I'm busy right now and can't do it!"
The corner of his mouth twitched.
"What's more important that winning the championships?"
Shinji scrunched his face up. "Um... lots of stuff."
"Like what?"
Shinji gasped. "Ah... well... oh... I'm not feeling well. Ya,
that's it."
Asuka frowned. "You do look a little flushed." She sat down on the
bed and heard a soft 'ouch'. "Where does it hurt?"
"Err... just a stomach ache."
Asuka rubbed his stomach. "My poor baby. Let me make you feel
better." She leaned down to kiss Shinji, but he turned his head away.
"Now what's the matter?"
"I've told you many times, I don't love you, I'm not going to marry
you, and I love Rei!!" Shinji rolled his eyes and his eyelashes
fluttered.
"Well, the tramp is not here!!" The blanket covering Shinji
suddenly rose up and knocked Asuka off the bed. Asuka rubbed her sore
butt and glared at Shinji. "What did you do that for?"
Shinji smoothed out the blanket. "Err... charlie horse. Sorry."
"Awww... my poor baby." Asuka sat down on the bed again and whipped
back the blanket to reveal his leg. "Let me rub that for you." She
started to rub the slender leg.
"Ummmm... you don't have to do that!" Shinji's eye's crossed.
Asuka smiled and continued rubbing. "I can see you like it."
"No..." Shinji's voice rose a few octaves.
Asuka smirked as she continued rubbing and massaging the leg. "Wow,
your leg is so smooth and slender. You don't shave your legs, do you?"
"No!! What kind of question is that?! I... I... just don't have
hairy legs, okay?"
Asuka shrugged. "Why don't you want to practice with us?!" Asuka
ran her hand up Shinji's leg.
"I've got a lot on my mind right now."
Asuka could have sworn that smoke started pouring out of Shinji's
ears. "Well, tell me."
"Can't this wait?"
"No!! Tell me!"
Shinji stiffened. "Um... fine. Asuka, I can't marry you!! I'm going
to marry Rei!!"
"Yeah... yeah... tell me that in three years after she gets out of
the slammer!"
"I'm telling you now!! I will marry Rei because I love her and
she's carrying my child!!" Shinji shuddered.
Asuka's face went blank and she stopped rubbing. "What?"
"You heard me, she's pregnant with my child and our parents have
blessed our marriage!!"
Asuka's face scrunched up. "You're lying!!"
Shinji sat up on his elbows and looked Asuka straight in her eyes.
"No, I'm not. I'm sorry, Asuka, but no matter what you say or do, I'm
not going to marry you. Ask my mom if you want to, she'll confirm it."
He waited for the outburst he expected to follow. <I'll wonder if she'll
just punch me or throw things at me? Maybe both.>
Asuka suddenly burst into tears. "You bastard!! Why can't you love
me?"
Shinji was momentarily surprised at Asuka's reaction. He saw a
different part of her at that moment. A part that was hurt deeply by his
actions. He felt his heart go out to the redhead, but knew that there
was no turning back now. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't help me!" Asuka wiped her eyes. "I gave you my love
and you spat it back in my face!"
"I'm sorry."
Asuka spun around and took a step towards the door. She paused and
turned back around and pounded Shinji hard in his stomach. "You
bastard!!" Satisfied, she stormed out of the room.
<Now that's the Asuka I know...> he cringed when her heard the
sounds of something breaking as Asuka stormed down the hall. "I'm sorry,
Asuka." More crashing sounds followed. "I'm sorry." He paused to make
sure she wasn't coming back and the flipped down his blanket. "Are you
okay?"
Rei rubbed her stomach. "Yeah... it was a small price to pay." She
slid up Shinji's body and gave him a long kiss.
Shinji brushed Rei's hair of her eyes. "You could have stopped when
she came in."
Rei smiled. "It was like being a baby in a candy store, I couldn't
resist your sweet taste." She winked and started to rub the part of
Shinji she had just been attending to.
Shinji blushed. "Thanks..."
"I've got to admit though, Asuka does have a sensual touch." She
wiggled her leg that Asuka had massaged.
"Really? Maybe I should marry her then?" Shinji smiled devilishly.
Rei rolled on top of Shinji and pressed her naked body against his.
"Oh no, you're all mine."
Shinji smiled and wrapped his arms around his fiancee. "I love
you."
-E- -V- -A-
"Why?!" Asuka bellowed.
Yui lowered her head, unable to look the young girl in the eye.
"I'm sorry, Asuka. I can't force my son to marry you when he's so
against it. And I would prefer it if my grandchild wasn't born out of
wedlock."
"But the agreement between..."
Yui interrupted. "I already talked to your parents, Asuka. They
didn't like it, but they understood. Shinji is free to marry whoever he
chooses."
Asuka grinned and opened her mouth to speak.
Yui shook her head. "And if I know my son, that means Rei. I'm
sorry."
"She's his sister!! If I can't have him I'll make sure that the
government finds out they are related and that'll end their marriage
plans faster than a monkey can get a flea out of his ass!"
Yui sighed. "Asuka, why are you so determined to marry my son?"
"Cause I love the jackass!!"
"Why?"
"Well, because... because... I'm not letting that bitch take him
from me!"
"Asuka..."
"He's mine and always has been! The agreement..."
Yui took Asuka's trembling hands in her hands. "Asuka, you never
knew about the agreement until a week ago and you're only using it now
because you're trying desperately to hang onto something that you know
you've lost."
Tears streamed down Asuka's face. "No.. no... Shinji loves me and
not that tramp!"
Yui sighed and pulled Asuka into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry,
Asuka, that's just not true and you know it. It took me a while to see
it and accept it. Maybe its time you do too."
Asuka clenched her eyes shut tightly and felt her tears drip onto
Yui's back. "Yes..." she whispered softly.
"Let it out, Asuka dear. Let it out." Yui clenched her eyes
tightly. <I hope we're doing the right thing.>
-E- -V- -A-
Excerpt from 'The American Century Dictionary' - 1999 edition:
fatherhood n. Act of being a child's male parent.
Excerpt from 'Shinji's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - 2nd
edition:
fatherhood n. No matter what girl he's gotten pregnant, that Shinji
will do a better job than my father did. Probably. I hope.
Excerpt from 'Asuka's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - 1st
edition:
fatherhood n. Act of Shinji's life getting screwed up since he couldn't
keep his dick out of all the wrong pussies (i.e. not mine).
Excerpt from 'Rei's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - written by
her kind and caring (if a little overprotective) mother:
fatherhood n. Well, Rei, your father was very tall. And he glowed. And
he incinerated Antarctica and caused worldwide global devastation. Well,
some of the blame goes to Mr. Ikagi and Seele for that. So I guess your
father wasn't all that bad after all. Could be worse, at least I didn't
have to sleep with him. I can only imagine the stretch marks from having
that huge dick in me.
-E- -V- -A-
"So, we'll be getting married in a few months and Rei *WILL* be
playing in the championships with us," Shinji informed Hikari, Kensuke,
and Touji in the school yard a couple days later. He looked between
Hikari, Kensuke, and Touji to see how they were taking the news. He
squeezed Rei's hand to reassure her and received a contented smile from
her in return.
Kensuke was impassive at hearing the news, since he had his own
relationship problems to deal with.
Touji smirked. "Whatever. You are such a stud, Shinji. Having
Big-Red and Rei here drooling all over you."
Shinji blushed. "Err.. yeah."
"And knocking your own sister up... damn, what a mess. You have to
use condoms, man!" Touji reached into a pocket and tossed a large
super-economy package of condoms at Shinji.
Shinji looked at the package and frowned. "Err... well, she's
already pregnant."
A light bulb went off in Touji's head. "Oh... right. Well give them
back then, I'll be needing them later." When he leaned forward to
retrieve the box, he didn't notice the arrow that whizzed through the
air where his head had just been.
Kensuke noticed Hikari shudder at the mention of Touji needing the
condoms. He shuddered like that every time he thought about what Touji
and Hikari did whenever they snuck off together. <I'll have to ask
Shinji what he did to get the nerve to finally break it off with Asuka.
Maybe I can use the same technique with Touji.> So preoccupied with his
thoughts, he missed seeing the arrow strike between his legs and bury
itself in the ground.
Hikari was gnashing her teeth together trying not to kill Shinji
for ditching her best friend. Only a short time previously, she might
have condemned Shinji for jilting Asuka, but she found herself in a
similar situation. "Shinji... how is Asuka taking this? I haven't talked
to her for several days and she won't take my calls or come to the
door."
Shinji sighed. "I really don't know for sure, but I know she's not
happy about it. I haven't seen her since I told her."
"How did you tell her?" Kensuke asked, trying not to sound like he
was doing research.
Hikari glanced at Kensuke, knowing exactly why he had asked that
question.
Shinji glanced at Rei and blushed. "Err... well, I just told her
directly and honestly. I think she talked to my mother about it too."
The arrow shot over Hikari's head when she looked down at her hands
and whispered to herself. "Tell him directly and honestly, huh?"
Shinji looked at Hikari oddly. "Did you say something?"
Hikari blushed and waved her hands in front of her. "No... no, just
mumbling."
Shinji suddenly got a bad feeling in his stomach as he looked
between Hikari and Kensuke, who both looked very nervous, and Touji, who
was happily counting his condoms. <Hikari and Kensuke couldn't be...>
When the gang stood up and walked away, they failed to notice all
the arrows that were embedded in the trees and ground all around the
spot where they had been sitting.
Across the schoolyard a tall boy smacked another boy holding an
empty bow. "Where the hell did you learn to shoot, you idiot?"
The boy threw the boy down in disgust. "Hey! It's my first time,
okay? Hasamoto said to make it look like an accident and the archery
club is practicing right now... hence a stray arrow hitting one of them
wouldn't look suspicious."
The tall boy looked at the dozens of arrows embedded into the
ground where the gang had been sitting and started laughing. "You'd
better go take lessons then." He stopped laughing when the other boy
shoved the last arrow up his ass.
Oh, that's gotta hurt!
-E- -V- -A-
A confession.
"Before we do this... I have to tell you something."
"What?"
"Misato is pregnant and..."
"And?"
"There's a chance I could be the father." The sudden silence
chilled him to the bones. He waited nervously until she finally found
her voice.
"How... when... why..."
"She was drunk and..."
She stopped him. "No need to go on. It doesn't matter, but what
will you do if it's yours?"
"Well, Misato and her boyfriend already have said they will raise
the child no matter what, but if it's mine I... want to be there for it
as it grows up."
"That doesn't mean some twisted three way marriage, does it?"
"No!!" He frowned. "At least I don't think it will. I don't love
Misato... I love you."
She blushed. "Call me crazy, but I feel the same way."
More silence.
"We have to tell Touji soon."
Even more silence.
-E- -V- -A-
Same confession, different players.
"I have to tell you something."
"What?"
"Misato is pregnant and..."
"And?"
"There's a chance I could be the father." The sudden silence
chilled him to the bones. He waited nervously until she finally found
her voice.
"How... when... why..."
"She was drunk and I..."
She stopped him. "No need to go on, I get the picture. What are you
going to do if it's yours?"
"Well, Mr. Kaji and Misato are going to get married and raise the
child. Since he withdrew from the mayoral race, he doesn't have to worry
about his public image anymore."
"What is he going to do now?"
"Misato got him a job as a janitor at school."
Rei gasped. "I thought that guy cleaning the toilet this morning
looked familiar. So what about us? You don't want to have some sort of
four-way marriage with them, do you."
Shinji studied the look on Rei's face for a few moments, unsure if
she was repulsed by the idea or intrigued by it. "No... but I want to be
around for it. My father took off on you and your mother... I won't do
the same."
Rei nodded. "I understand." she cocked her head to the side. "That's
one of the reasons I love you." She took a deep breath. "Shinji, I have
to tell you something."
"What?"
Rei looked down at the stomach and put a hand over it. "It's about
my pregnancy."
Shinji's face went pale and his stomach started to sink into his gut
as his worse fears seemed to be coming true. They'd been doing that a
lot lately. "No... You don't mean that it's not mine? But... but..."
Rei shook her head. "That's not it. Shinji, I was upset when you
never came to visit me and..."
"I'm sorry. First I had to get the money for the train and then...
some things delayed me."
Rei shook her head again. "That's okay, I understand now. What I
need to tell you is that..."
Shinji leaned forward.
"I'm not really pregnant."
Shinji eyes went wide. His face showed a mixture of relief,
annoyance, and sadness.
"I'm sorry. I was hoping to tell you as soon as I got out of jail,
but it never seemed the right time." She paused and scolded herself
internally. "No... that's not entirely true. I was afraid of how you'd
react."
Shinji opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
-E- -V- -A-
"What a little liar!" Asuka snapped, looking at Rei.
Rei shrugged. "She was desperate and in love."
"You're just saying that because her lie screwed me out of getting
Shinji!!"
Rei nodded. "Mostly."
Asuka pulled back her fist and swung at Rei. She stopped herself
before striking Rei, who didn't even flinch. "Why aren't you scared?"
"I know you won't hurt me."
Asuka was tempted to hit her again. "How can you be so sure?"
Rei tilted her head. "I think a part of you has felt the same
feelings that led that Rei to lie."
Asuka ground her teeth. "No... she's just lying to get what she
wants."
"As you were when you said you loved him."
"Well, that Asuka does love him!"
"Maybe, maybe not. But I was referring to you lying about that here
in the theater."
Asuka started and looked at Rei. "I wasn't... err... I mean..."
"So you do love him?"
Asuka crossed her arms over her breasts. "Maybe. But he seems to be
so hung up on his perfect world, that he's ignoring what's here for
him."
"I didn't feel ignored when we went out on our date."
Asuka looked at Rei. "Huh?"
"We went out on a date to the other side of the theater." Rei
pointed at the far end of the theater that had the freshly painted
ceiling. "We painted the ceiling and then made out. It was a most...
stimulating evening."
Asuka's mouth twitched. The twitch flowed down her arm and into her
fist.
Shinji rubbed his head after Asuka punched him. "What'cha do that
for?!"
"You took Rei on a date and yet you won't even have sex with me!!"
Shinji blinked a few times, trying to find the logic in Asuka's
statement. "Huh?"
"Err... I mean... why won't you date me?!"
"You never asked."
"Huh?"
"Rei asked me to take her out, Rei asked me if I could love her,
Rei asked me..."
"Shut up!!"
"Asuka, I like you, but you never showed any interest in me that
way."
"I don't!"
"See? You always deny it and always hit me or twist my penis for no
reason. I'm sorry, but I'm going to see where my relationship with Rei
leads me."
Asuka fumed. "Jerk." She spun around and stormed off to the corner
of the theater. She took one look at the colorful ceiling and then spun
around and stormed off to a different corner. "Jerk!!" she repeated as
she passed Shinji and Rei.
Shinji sighed and shook his head sadly. "Hey, Rei?"
"Yes?"
"Do you want to go make out?"
Rei smiled. "Yes, Shinji."
-E- -V- -A-
"You're not pregnant?"
Rei shook her head. "No. It was the only way I could think to
convince my mom to get me out of jail. After I found out about your
engagement to Asuka, I needed to get out and find out what was going
on."
"And then you used the baby to get her to agree to our marriage?"
"Actually... that was her idea. I never expected her to be as
supportive as she has been."
"I'm surprised she took your word about being pregnant."
Rei scowled. "She didn't. I had to bribe the prison nurse to fake
some positive test results before my mom would believe me." She looked
sadly at Shinji. "Please don't hate me for not telling you sooner."
Shinji shook his head and wrapped his arms around Rei. "That's
okay. I'm sorry my parents lame engagement plan caused you such pain."
Tears dripped from Rei's eyes. "You're just to good. I don't
deserve you."
"No, I don't deserve you." Shinji pulled Rei into a tight embrace
and gave her a long kiss.
Rei was smiling when the kiss ended. "Now what do we do?"
Shinji smiled and took Rei's hand. "Now we get to work."
"Huh?"
"The only way our parents will let us get married is if you're
pregnant, right?"
Rei nodded.
"So the sooner we get you pregnant the better, right?"
Rei smiled broadly and took his hand. The couple ran out of the
park they had been talking in, not hearing the tree that fell and
crushed the bench they had just been sitting on. Of course, if a tree
falls in the park and no one is there to be flattened by it, does it
really fall?
Of course it does, stupid!
"Shit!! We almost got them!!"
The tall boy shook his head sadly. "Let's go find one of the other
ones and see if you can actually hit something."
"Yeah, okay. Lets use a whole building this time... I can't miss
with that."
The tall boy looked back at the tree and then down at the axe in
the other boy's hand. "I'm not so sure."
"Shut up!"
-E- -V- -A-
A few days later, Rei hobbled into the Eva center with Shinji. They
spotted Kensuke, Touji, and Hikari over in the Central Dogma staging
area.
"Are you okay, Rei?" Kensuke asked when he noticed her hobble.
"Yeah, just a little tired." Rei glanced at Shinji briefly, causing
him to blush.
"Damn, Shinji, you have to give her a break from sex every now and
then!" Touji shouted, ignoring the crowd around them.
Hikari snapped. "You're one to talk! You get horny at the drop of a
eyelash!!"
"Well, you're just so sexy."
Hikari ground her teeth.
"Will you kids shut up!!"
The five teenagers looked over to see Misato and Kaji walk up to
them.
Misato glared at them all, giving Shinji and Kensuke an extra
powerful glare. "I don't know why I came to help you little brats out."
Kaji squeezed her shoulder and then whispered to her. "Yes you do.
Asuka threatened to report you and since Shinji or Kensuke could be the
father of your baby, we can't afford any attention from the authorities
right now."
Misato glared at Kaji. "I know that, you jerk!!"
Kaji looked suitably confused. "Then why did you... urk!"
Misato twisted her heel on top of Kaji's foot a few times to shut
him up.
Touji looked around. "Where's, Asuka? It's almost check-in time..."
Hikari glanced at Shinji and Rei. "Um... I'm not sure she's
coming."
"I hope she wasn't hurt when that hotel collapsed over near her
place. Hikari and me almost checked into it, but... ouch!!" Touji shut
up when Hikari bashed his head.
Hikari looked at Rei. "I'm sure she's fine, it's just that she said
that she'd never play with..."
Rei looked sadly at the ground and completed the statement. "With
me. I'm sorry, guys, I never meant my problems to become yours."
Shinji squeezed her shoulder to reassure her.
Touji laughed. "Rei, don't sweat it. You're a better player than
Asuka anyway."
"Arschloch!! Asuka yelled as she rushed over and kicked Touji in
the groin.
"Asuka!!" everyone chorused as the recognized the redhead. Well,
Touji just groaned.
"Asuka, I'm glad you came," Shinji said.
"Save it. I'm here for my friends." Asuka looked at Hikari,
Kensuke, and Touji. Then she glared at Kaji and Misato. She completely
avoided looking at Rei.
Hikari hugged Asuka and then looked at her team. "I was worried
about you, girlfriend."
"I wasn't going to let the asshole's bitch keep me out of the
championships that *I* deserve to be in."
Hikari nodded. "Well, that makes a full team of eight then."
"Seven."
Hikari frowned and looked at Asuka. "Huh? Didn't you come to play
with us?"
Asuka nodded. "Yes, with my friends, the two old fogies, and the
asshole there."
Hikari sighed. <She's not going to acknowledge Rei's presence...
we'll never be able to work as a team.>
Kensuke slapped his hands together. "Alright, Dark Eva Knights are
go!!"
"Okay, what's the strategy?" Touji asked, looking at his teammates.
Everyone looked at someone else for guidance and then finally at
Hikari, who always had a solution at times like this.
"Don't look at me," Hikari said, blushing. "I haven't had time to
do any planning."
Everyone looked at Kensuke.
Kensuke cowered under the attention. "Um... I've had something on
my mind. Sorry."
"Oh, this is fucking great!! We're screwed!" Touji yelled.
"No, we're not. We split into two teams and deal with them in
groups. No one goes it alone in there."
Everyone except Asuka looked at Rei as she started to describe the
battle plan.
"Before I detail the plan, there's something I have for you all..."
-E- -V- -A-
"You idiots!!" Hasamoto kicked the tall boy. "You morons!" He
kicked the other boy. "You didn't even get one of them out of the
game!!"
The tall boy cowered back from Hasamoto. "We're sorry! They kept
avoiding our traps somehow. If we didn't have to make it look like an
accident, we could have taken them all out!!"
Hasamoto spat on both of the boys. "Idiots! We can't bask in the
glory of the win if it's a simple forfeit!!" He kicked the boys again
and then looked at the small boy wearing glasses by his side. "Makie,
it's up to you to figure out some way to defeat them."
Sweat dripped of Makie's forehead as he opened his binder and
started to examine the stats he had researched on the Dark Eva Knights.
"I'll see what I can do..."
Hasamoto kicked Makie hard. "No! Do or do not. There is no try!!"
"Okay..." Makie replied, trying to remember where he had hear that
threat before.
"Keep in mind if you DO NOT find a way for us to win, your sister
will get a visit from me. Shame for her to lose her virginity when she's
barely got hair on her pussy, but then that's what happens to people who
disappoint me." He glared at the two boys he had been kicking earlier.
"They or their sisters get screwed. Personally, I'd prefer the later, so
don't le t me down."
-E- -V- -A-
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the finals for the Neon Genesis
Evangelion Championships!!" a young girl dressed in a lab coat announced
from the raised pillar that towered above the Central Dogma staging
area.
The crowd applauded and cheered.
The young announcer waved her hands to quiet the crowd. "And now,
may I present to you, Commander Akagi, the creator of Neon Genesis
Evangelion!" She stepped aside to reveal an older woman sitting behind a
large desk. The audience applauded.
The woman's hands supported her chin and were positioned in a
triangle, the tips of her fingers touching the tip of her nose. A pair
of dark rectangular glasses helped her serious look appear very
sinister. "Thank you." 'Commander' Akagi rose from the desk and looked
down at the crowd. "It is my pleasure to present this year's finalists
who will compete to save us from the Angels and prevent Third Impact!"
In the shadows, Shinji leaned over and spoke to Rei. "Rei, isn't
that your grandmother?"
Rei nodded. "Yeah... Sorry I never mentioned it, but when I boasted
about it down in Osaka-2 I got into a bad situation."
Shinji nodded his understanding and squeezed her shoulder.
"And on top of that, she's so embarrassing when she talks about
Eva. As you can see-" She gestured to her grandmother, who was going on
and on about how the Angels will destroy the world if left unchecked.
"-she takes the game and especially the championships very seriously."
"Your grandma created Eva? That is so cool!!" Kensuke gushed. "How
did she come up with the idea of using..."
Kensuke's question and the unasked questions of the others went
unanswered after they were bathed in a bright light.
"I present to you the Dark Eva Knights!!" Commander Akagi
announced.
The crowd applauded and then went wild when they got a good look at
the gang. Jaws dropped, drool dripped from lips, trees rose to the
occasion, and bushes overflowed with the nectar of the gods. The sight
that inspired these reactions from the crowd was Rei and the others all
dressed in perfect replicas of the plug suits used in the advertising
for the Eva centers. Truth be told, the skin tight outfits worn by the
models did not look anywhere as good as they did on the four female
members of the Dark Eva Knights.
Marriage proposals, cat calls, and shouts of appreciation were
directed at the female pilots from the boys and at least one girl in the
assembled crowd.
Most of the girls were admiring the forms of the guys in their form
fitting plug suits. Touji loved the attention that the plug suit
directed to his bulge. Shinji and Kensuke were indifferent to their own
suits, but recognized how good Rei and Hikari looked in their suits,
which had the side effect of making their bulges more prominent. Kaji's
bulge was barely noticeable.
The gang all waved their hands at the crowd and smiled as they had
been instructed to before the night's events began.
Touji leaned over and whispered to Asuka. "They seem to like the
outfits."
Asuka grinned and struck another in a series of sexy poses. "Of
course they do! Who couldn't resist this body of mine in a skin tight
outfit like this?"
"Shinji?" Touji regretted his answer the instant Asuka's fist
impacted his face.
Shinji smiled and looked at Rei. "They really love the outfits the
promoters gave us."
Rei chucked and whispered back to him. "Actually, I arranged for
them myself. I figured that Asuka wouldn't wear hers if she thought it
was from me."
Shinji laughed and nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."
"And now-" Commander Akagi announced. "The reigning champions, the
Rampaging Evas." She gestured to her other side and a spotlight
illuminated the gang's competition. The seven boys and one girl were all
dressed in black uniforms, making them look very sinister.
"No..." Rei shuddered and backed away. "No... that wasn't his team
name."
Shinji looked worriedly at Rei. "What's wrong, Rei?"
"The guy in front... that's Hasamoto."
Shinji trembled involuntarily at hearing the name. He looked back
and met Hasamoto's cold stare. Shinji found himself surprised by
Hasamoto's appearance. To hear Rei talk about him, he should have been a
huge guy with pointy horns and fangs. Instead, he was of average height,
average build, and sported a short mop of hair. Only the stern look on
his face made him appear anything like Rei had described him.
Hasamoto grinned. "Is your team ready to lose, Rei?"
Rei cringed and stepped further back.
"Leave her alone, Kaworu!" Even as Shinji said the name, he had no
idea why it seemed to fit Hasamoto.
-E- -V- -A-
The Shinji in the theater did though. "Kaworu," he gasped and
collapsed to the floor. "No... no... he can't be there. He's dead. He
can't be there."
Rei dropped to Shinji's side and placed a hand on his shoulder to
reassure him. "It's okay, Shinji..."
"No it's not!!" Shinji snapped, standing upright. "I never wanted
to see him again! I want to forget the kind expression on his face when
I crushed his body! I want to forget the sound of his head splashing
into the water. I don't want him there or here to remind me!!"
"Who's Kaworu?" Asuka asked.
Misato took Asuka's hand and pulled her away. "He was the Fifth
Child."
Asuka frowned and whispered to Misato. "And Shinji killed him?"
"It's complic..."
Misato was interrupted by Shinji's shout. "Yes, I killed him! He
was an Angel and I killed him! It was him or me. Eva One or Eva Two. He
made a choice to die and I made my choice to live!"
"Too bad you couldn't have made a better choice for the rest of the
world." Asuka looked around the theater. "I guess your own life is more
important than everyone else. This Kaworu must not have meant much to
you if you killed him so callously."
In one quick movement, Shinji jumped over and grabbed Asuka by her
throat. "Don't you dare talk about him like that..." When he realized
what he was doing, he gasped and released her neck. "I'm sorry..."
"Asshole," Asuka muttered, rubbing her neck.
"Asuka..." Shinji trailed off, then dropped to his knees. "What
have I become?" He looked at his hands, as if he couldn't believe they
were his. "I'm a murderer."
"Not if he was an Angel, you idiot!" Asuka snapped. "Angels are
bad, so we had to kill them!"
"He wasn't! I mean... he was an Angel, but he was still good."
Shinji started clenching and unclenching his fists. "I know my father
and everyone said that the Angels were bad, but Kaworu was kind and said
he loved me."
Asuka opened her mouth to say something, but Misato clamped her
hands over the girl's mouth before Asuka could make matters worse.
"Maybe that's why he's in your world," Misato suggested.
"Huh?"
"Hasamoto is a bad person, right?"
"Right."
"But you don't and have never have thought of Kaworu as a bad
person, right?"
Shinji nodded.
"So your guilt over killing a 'good person' manifested itself in
your perfect world as Hasamoto. He looks like Kaworu and is clearly a
bad person, so you can justify killing him."
"I don't want to kill anyone!"
Asuka broke free of Misato's restraining arms. "Then why didn't you
stop Third Impact, dummkopf?!"
Shinji looked at his hands, which were tightly balled into fists.
The veins on his arms and neck could be seen throbbing. "I... tried. I
failed."
"Yes, you failed and destroyed our world," Asuka said, glaring at
Shinji. "YOU burned it all up."
"No..." Shinji shook his head. "No..." Shinji clenched his fists.
"No..." Shinji slammed the floor hard. "No!!!!" Shinji pounded the floor
again and again until the floor shattered, along with the theater around
him.
-E- -V- -A-
"Leave her alone, Kaworu!" Shinji shouted.
Hasamoto looked over and glared at Shinji. "How did you know my real
name, asshole?"
Shinji looked around him in confusion. "Wha... where am I?"
Rei stepped over and looked at Shinji, concern evident on her face.
"Are you okay, Shinji?"
Shinji looked at her. "Rei?" He then saw the others in the plugs
suits. "Huh? Where did you guys... oh no..." He dropped to his knees. He
looked at his body and saw he was wearing a plug suit. "Oh no..."
Touji came up to Shinji. "You okay, Man?"
Shinji looked awkwardly at Touji, unconsciously looking at his
friend's intact left arm and leg. "I don't think I'm in the theater any
more, Touji."
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji shuddered and collapsed to the theater floor. He looked
around and saw Rei, Asuka, and Misato standing over him looking very
confused. They were also very naked. "Ack!!" Shinji backpedaled away.
When he hit the wall, he stopped and breathed heavily.
Rei took a few cautious steps towards him. "What's wrong, Shinji?"
She leaned down over him, the nearness of her breasts causing him to
breathe even heavier.
"Why are you all naked?" Shinji looked down at his body. "Why am
*I* naked." He looked around the theater. "Where are we?!"
Asuka looked down at her naked body. "Yeah, why are we naked?"
Misato shrugged her shoulders. "Beats me. But is that important
right now?"
Asuka smirked. "Only if we want to cover our butts."
Misato ignored Asuka and looked back at Shinji. "Are you alright,
Shinji?"
"It's a dream... Hasamoto knocked me out and I'm dreaming. That's
it."
"Kaworu didn't knock you out, Shinji," Rei said. "He's dead,
remember?"
Shinji frowned at hearing the name. "I heard that name... no I
spoke that name before I appeared here." He looked around again.
"Wherever here is."
Rei knelt down next to Shinji and cradled his head in her bosom to
comfort him.
Shinji relished the feeling of her breasts before realizing what
must have happened. "Ah, I know! Hasamoto killed me and this is heaven."
He looked at the three naked girls. "And you three are Angels." He
looked at Asuka. "Well, at least two of you."
"What was that?" Asuka rolled up a pair of imaginary sleeves and
took a step towards Shinji, but Misato restrained her.
Rei looked at Shinji closely. "Who are you?"
Shinji face fell. "Huh? I'm Shinji. Your fiancee and father of your
child?" He winked at the end.
Rei gasped and looked over at the viewpoint, which normally would
be frozen when Shinji was not in his trance. It wasn't. It showed the
Eva center and Shinji was wrestling with Hasamoto. "Oh no... Shinji's
crossed over to his perfect world." She looked down at the floor.
Asuka and Misato followed her gaze and gasped when they saw the
story boards that depicted Shinji's perfect world. Instead of their
normal paper appearance, they were now made out of stone. Set in stone
as it was.
Misato looked between the stone storyboards and the viewpoint.
"He's now a part of that world and can't come back to us."
Rei jumped to her feet and ran into the viewpoint, hoping she could
crossover. She just ran though it and appeared on the other side of it.
"No!! He was supposed to take me with him!" She dropped to he knees and
began to sob.
Shinji looked sadly at Rei and started to walk over to her before
Asuka grabbed him.
"That means this is the other Shinji?" Asuka asked Misato.
Misato nodded.
"Vonderbar..." Asuka looked seductively at Shinji. "Hey Shinji, do
you want to kiss me?"
"No!!" Shinji pulled out of her grip and went over to Rei.
Asuka pouted. "Great, we finally get a new Shinji in here and he's
as hung up on the clone as the last one."
-E- -V- -A-
In the Eva center Hasamoto was punching the living daylights out of
Shinji. "Don't say that name!!"
"Kaworu, please..." Shinji head recoiled under the force of a
punch.
"I hate that stupid name!" Hasamoto's punched Shinji again.
"I'm sorry I killed you." Bang. "Don't do this to me." Bang. "You
don't belong here..." Bang.
"Stop it, Hasamoto!! You're killing him!!" Rei pleaded and tried to
stop his swing, but was savagely hit across her face and sent tumbling
across the floor.
"Shut up, Rei!!" Hasamoto spat and went back to beating up Shinji.
The girl on Hasamoto's team flinched at hearing the name. <So that's
Rei. Damn, I feel sorry for her.> She idly fingered a bruise on her arm.
The rest of the two Eva teams were fighting as well. Touji had two
boys already out of the fight and was pounding on a third, Kensuke
wasn't having my luck with the boy he was fighting until Hikari bashed
him over the head with a chair, and Kaji was pounding on a boy who had
pinched Misato's ass during the confusion. Misato and Makie were the
only two contestants not fighting and found themselves under a table to
avoid the flying bodies.
"I hate this game," Misato mumbled.
"Tell me about it. I never wanted to be part of that creep's team,"
Makie said.
"Why are you then?"
"He said he'd do some bad things to my little sister."
"What an asshole."
"Yeah."
"Don't worry,. I'll make sure that brat gets what's he deserves."
"Thanks, for an old woman, you're not bad." Makie looked Misato
over. "And stacked too."
It shouldn't need to be mentioned, but Makie ended up talking as a
soprano for the following week.
Shinji was already bruised and battered when Hasamoto landed his
latest punch. "Prick! You think you're a big man just because you're
screwing the whore now?" He kicked Shinji in the stomach. "Rei is just a
cheap plaything. Like any other plaything, you should use it and then
discard it, asshole." He lifted his foot over Shinji's already bloodied
face. "Or don't you think she can be replaced?"
"She can't..." Shinji muttered. "I love her."
"Love?" Hasamoto guffawed. "Love is for fools." His foot descended
towards Shinji's face.
It never reached it. Hasamoto was hit over the back with a chair
and went crashing to the ground.
The girl on Hasamoto's team dropped the legs of the broken chair
and exhaled. "So I'm just a replacement Rei, am I?" She kicked him in
his acorns and turned away. After tanking a couple steps, she turned
around to face him again. "And the name's Sawa, you bastard!!"
Hasamoto reached out for her, but she was too far away. "Come back
or I'll kill you!!"
"Oh no you won't!" Shinji yelled before kicking Hasamoto savagely
in his face. Hasamoto crashed to the ground with Shinji standing over
him, a little unsteady on his feet.
"Stop this at once!!" Mrs. Akagi shouted from her pedestal. "Take it
out in the game!!"
Shinji wiped the blood off his lip and glared at Hasamoto with
hatred in his eyes. "This isn't a game. This is my life."
Hasamoto started to rise, but Shinji kicked him in his kneecap and
he crashed back to the floor. Shinji had a haunted and crazed look on
his face when he bent down and wrapped his hands around Hasamoto's neck.
"Die, Kaworu!!" He squeezed his hands.
Various people cried out in shock and told him to stop, but Shinji
was in a world of his own and blocked out the people in the world of his
own making.
Rei saw what was happening. "Shinji, don't!!" She ran over and
grabbed Shinji's arm, trying to pull him off Hasamoto. "Shinji!! You're
not a killer!!"
Rei's voice managed to get through Shinji's crazed mind. "Huh?" He
looked around and saw the concern on her face and then looked down at
his hands that were still wrapped around Hasamoto's neck. "What?" He
released his hold on Hasamoto and let the unconscious boy fall to the
ground. Shinji was locked in his own inner turmoil and didn't even
notice that Hasamoto had started to breathe again. "No..." Shinji shook
his head. "No..." Shinji clenched his fists. "No..." Shinji slammed the
floor hard. "No!!!!" Shinji pounded the floor again and again until the
floor shattered, along with the Eva center around him.
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji was huddled in a corner of NERV headquarters with his hands
pressed against his ears, trying to block out the noise of the alarms,
the gunshots, and the explosions. The alarms had been going off since
the invasion of NERV had begun, the gunshots and explosions had started
shortly after. Shinji kept muttering "No... no... no..." over and over
again.
Unseen by the huddled Shinji, a ghostly Shinji stood nearby and
looked down at himself. "What? Where am I now?" He looked around the
corridor and flinched backwards when several men stormed in and
surrounded the prone Shinji.
"Third Child confirmed. Eliminating," one of men reported to his
superior over his headset. Then the man held a gun out to Shinji's head.
"No!!" The ghostly Shinji cried out, but was unheard over the shots
that rang out. Not that anyone could hear him anyway.
[End - Garden of EVA 1:8 - Fatherhood Sucks!]
[End - Book 1 - Sucks]
[Coming soon: Book 2 - Blows]
=======================================================================
Author's notes/ramblings:
Arschloch is German for asshole, bastard.
Yeah, I know it's a nasty place to end the book on, but there is a very
good reason for it. But I can't tell you why. You'll have to wait for
"Garden of Eva 2:1 - Third Impact Blows!" to find out.
Incidentally, this ending was first going to be used back in Book 0, but
I realized I still had to get Shinji and Rei closer and make Shinji's
life really suck for the events that follow to work. Everything blows in
the next book.
Unfortunately, there will be a slight delay in the start of the next
book to give me time to finish the last chapters of Childhood of a
Modern Dynasty. By that I mean written out in draft form not actually
released as a final version. Once I have that much then I can start on
the drafts of 2:1 (although about a third of it's written already).
For those of you who might not have seen End of Evangelion, some of the
events in the next book might contain spoilers. Unfortunately, I am
forced to use several events from Third Impact as shown in the movie to
explain Garden of EVA's Third Impact (they are not exactly the same). I
will endeavor to keep the spoilers to a minimum.
I'd like to thank my pre-readers Thomas Kinnen, Michael A. Chase, Axel
Terizaki, and David Johnston for helping me find and fix problems with
this story. FFML members xxx, xxx, and xxx were also helpful in fine
tuning this story. Thank you all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and
botched characters are my fault.
Revision 0.0 - Initial draft began (November 4, 1999)
Revision 0.1 - Initial draft finished (November 22, 1999)
Revision 0.2 - Pre-reader draft (December 5, 1998)
Revision 0.3 - FFML draft (December 15, 1998)
-=-
Jim Lazar
E-Mail - mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
FanFiction - http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
Please sign the Uncut Kite Petition -
http://www.crosswinds.net/~jimlazar/kite.html
-=-
Ranko leaned in and kissed Ukyo again. Mostly she wanted to know if
the same feeling was there again. It was.
At this moment, being the worse possible moment for them to do so,
Ranma and Akane came into the restaurant looking for Ranko. They found
her, but neither of them expected to find her like this.
"What the hell are you doing with my fiancee!" Akane shouted.
-=-
Excerpt from Childhood of a Modern Dynasty Chapter 5