On Tue, 14 Dec 1999, KaraOhki wrote:
*opens her email*
*Looks. Looks again. Cleans her glasses*
YES!!!!!
It took about six weeks longer than I thought it would... I'm glad to see
it too, frankly. :)
Chapter 4: The Thrill of Victory
~~~~~
"Saotome Akane-san." Kogara-sensei pulled a test paper out
of the sheaf she carried and handed it to Akane. Akane glanced
at the red-circled number on the front, grimaced, and quickly
placed the paper face-down on her desk rather than paging through
it to see what she'd gotten wrong.
Interesting...Akane's always been assumed to be a good student.
Wonder what that mark was.
Wait for it. :) Yes, that one manga story featuring Ranma's grade said
Akane was a good student, if memory serves. I figure she'd do even better
at St. H, with better teachers and fewer distractions.
"Very well." Ranma thought she saw Kogara wink at her as
she turned away to continue distributing the papers, but that
couldn't be... could it?
Sure it could!
Ranma's not used to teachers who aren't trying to drain his ki. :)
"I don't want to talk about it," Akane said tightly, looking
straight ahead.
Very good. Perfectly in character especially since I see Akane did
NOT do as well as Ranma. Her sense of competition goes beyond martial
arts.
Thanks. His does too, but a little differently...
"Woo-hoo! All that studying finally paid off!" she caroled,
dancing around Akane. "89! I finally did better than--" WHAM!
"--you. Ow."
She hit him? I didn't think you'd have her doing that any more...poor
Ranma had better learn to curb his tongue.
No, she still hits him when she forgets that she's not hitting him any
more. :) This is before the Taming epilogue, by the way. Ranma's not
being mean here, just tactless, but Akane takes it the wrong way becuse
she's already upset.
"I don't know. I think it was when we were studying Chinese
geography. You started telling that outrageous story about the
time you got stuck in Shanghai, and I started tickling you, and
then... well, it was fun, but it didn't help my grade much."
Aha. Giggle. Wonderful reason why Akane didn't get her studying
done.
Newlyweds... :)
"If you're getting better, maybe it's because I'm helping
you, and I wish you'd appreciate it a little more!"
Another good point. Women need to hear love and appreciation. If we
don't, we wonder if it's there or not.
Damn straight. Guys, listen to Kara. Don't be a Ranma. :)
"No problem," Ranma said, blushing. "Besides, you had my
lunch...."
Swat! "Ba-a-ka."
Now THAT was a love pat! ^_^
yup. :)
"No, you just fake it brilliantly. You'd use them better if
you practiced." Akane lit up suddenly. "I could teach you!"
Ranma snorted. "Forget it."
Ranma, you just said the WRONG thing (again).
Hey, if he'd said the right thing, this chapter'd be MUCH shorter and less
confrontational. What fun is that? :)
"Well, I can't ignore a challenge," Ranma said, "but it'd be
nice to know what I was being challenged TO. I guess I'll just
have to ask before I kick his ass." He smirked. "Not much point
in asking him afterward."
"Fine," Akane agreed. "I'll come too. I want to have a
word with him about this 'travesty' business."
Now I can't decide who Kuno should be more frightened of: Ranma or
Akane.
Definitely Akane. *hwoooo*
Ranma scowled. "Look, Kuno--"
"Never mind, Ranma," Akane interrupted. "This isn't what we
came here for."
Kuno has got to be selectively deaf...he didn't hear that?
"Selectively deaf" is a good way of putting it. Hey, he wrote down the
pigtailed girl's name in his memo book when it was announced at the
gymnastics match way back in manga v3!
Akane grimaced, then glared up at Kuno. "This is for
calling my wedding a travesty." POW! She raced after Ranma.
Giggle
:)
"Last I saw, Pops had it," Ranma said grimly.
Akane stared at Ranma, then sank her face in her hands.
"Oh, no."
"Oh, yes."
Oh my god
Pebbles rolling downhill. :)
Nodoka gained a worried look. "Oh, my," she said finally.
"That does put a different face on things, doesn't it." She
shrugged ruefully at Genma. "Well, there's no help for it, dear.
I'll just go get the first-aid kit, shall I?" She turned and
left.
Very perceptive woman. It'll be needed.
Nodoka knows the duties of a martial artist's wife. :)
"What she said," Ranma added triumphantly, jabbing a finger
at Sato. They walked out of the cluttered shop as Sato resumed
rubbing his forehead.
Where do you come up with this! Marvelous little bit.
Deranged imagination? Thanks. :)
"I don't see why not, but I'd like to change first," Akane
replied.
Ranma smiled wryly. "Me too," she said.
I'll bet he would!
There are times he really wants to be a guy. :)
The man smiled politely. "I am Masanori, Kurumazaki-san's
vassal. Please come in." He stepped back, allowing them to
enter.
"'Vassal'?" Ranma muttered to Akane, removing his shoes.
Why do I get the idea it's worse than Kuno...
I don't know. It's certainly not intended to give that impression. The
similarities with the Kuno household are supposed to highlight the
differences...
"Oh, surely not! Well then, for Akane-san... let me see."
Kotaro turned his head a little as Masanori came back in with a
tray. "Ah, good, the tea. Masanori, is this red?" he asked,
holding up a sheet of paper.
He's blind, and folds origami. My brother has been folding origami
for 20 years. It's not easy, even with eyes and instruction books.
This guy has talent.
Yup. Also lots of free time. :(
"I'm afraid Akane-san is correct," Kotaro said, holding out
a little red paper cloud complete with thunderbolt.
Ha! He's got her pegged.
Well, it is her name, after all... but yes. :)
Standing beside Masanori, Akane slapped herself on the
forehead. "Oh, great, the testosterone is flowing."
*laughter*
:) It always amuses me when Akane disparages qualities she exhibits
herself.
"I'm impressed," Kotaro said admiringly as Akane ran back to
the wall. "This is very sporting of you, Ranma-san."
Akane, get the first aid kit! FAST!
Show that you know the duties of a martial artist's wife!
*Darth Vader voice* "Nodoka has taught you well." *hissss*
"The family art isn't really intended for blind
practitioners, so I had to, well, adapt it considerably," Kotaro
admitted.
Neat. Please keep this guy around, I like him.
I expect he'll show up again.
Kotaro reached out slowly and touched Akane's face gently.
His fingers were not soft, Akane noticed, any more than hers
were, or Ranma's; they were hardened with smooth callus. His
touch was delicate, though, and surprisingly pleasant. *Oh, my.
I wish Ranma would touch me like this....* The fingers traced
over Akane's face and withdrew.
Just a little nit...
I used to date a blind man. He never asked to touch my face...and
since we all have that Hollywood concept, I asked him why. He said it
wouldn't really tell him anything, unless he wanted to know if I had a
crooked jaw or something like that. He said he knew me by who I was,
not what I looked like, and he was a very perceptive person.
Especially this next line - you are as beautiful as your voice. He
said he didn't have to see me to know that I was beautiful.
Yes, and Kotaro's, er, ESP lets him 'see' what her aura looks like, which
would also be very revealing. I needed something to push Ranma over the
top into jealousy without violating Kotaro's character or Akane's, and
this seemed to do it. I accept that it's weak.
"Well, you were complaining that all the guys you knew were
gone, and the only friends you had left were girls. He certainly
seemed to enjoy sparring with you. Maybe you can be friends.
The poor fellow must be awfully lonely."
"Sure looked like it," Ranma muttered.
I wonder what Ranma is thinking here. Can you expand on this a
little?
Hard to do that without cluing Akane in, but I'll try. Ranma's jealous,
on entirely inadequate provocation, and Akane hasn't figured it out yet.
"What?"
"HE took MY bogu!"
And she's gonna kill him
Something like that. :)
"Sorry for the disturbance," Akane said tightly to Kotaro
and Masanori. "Excuse me." She stomped back out, dragging an
unconscious girl in bogu by the pigtail and carrying a mask and
shinai in the other hand.
Kotaro and Masanori exchanged glances... or, rather, a
glance. "I'll just see them out," Masanori volunteered.
"By all means."
*More laughter*
*bow*
"You were just treating me like dirt! INCOMPETENT dirt!
STUPID dirt!
EXACTLY!
Yup.
Akane leaned forward and poked Ranma hard in the sternum
with her finger. "Afraid you'll lose?" She ignored Ranma's
intake of breath and pressed on. "I challenge you to a kendo
match, by standard rules. The winner gets to accept Kotaro's
challenge." She poked Ranma again for emphasis.
Wonderful. She knows him too well.
Well, she's too mad to be thinking in terms of Ranma-taming at this point;
that comes later. At the moment, she's in martial-artist mode.
Ranma's face twitched, then settled into a hard, confident
smirk. "You're on." Looking into her cold gray eyes, Akane felt
two conflicting emotions: the now-familiar electric thrill of
Ranma taking her seriously, but stronger than ever before... and
the visceral knowledge that if Ranma really did take her
seriously, she would have all the chance of a rabbit cornered by
a tiger.
Yeah.
Ever cornered a rabbit? Sometimes the little bastards will surprise
you. :)
Akane came up to her side of the X, thinking quickly. Even
hampered by the heavy bogu, Ranma was an unconventional handful;
only her reflexes, trained by many hours of solitary kata, had
saved her. It was time to use her best tricks, attacks which had
won match after match for her in the long-ago days before Ranma.
I wish we could see that in flashback.
Pure conjecture on my part, but she must have gotten good enough somehow
to defeat the whole Furinkan kendo team in short order and then hold her
own against Kuno in the Combat Cheerleading story... I have a fairly
clear idea of what Akane was like before the manga, and this is part of
that.
*You're thinkin' too much.* It was Ranma's sensei-voice in
her head, and in its wake the froth of her thoughts vanished like
so many soap-bubbles. A decade of Musabetsu Kakuto and kendo and
six months of Ranma's idiosyncratic tutoring came together in one
instant flash of void.
Ranma, you're dead meat...
Worse, defeated meat. :)
Ranma's snarl dissolved into uncertainty as he took in her
unprotected state. He took a step back. "But--"
Thank you, Vince. Even furious, he can't hurt his wife.
Yes, that seems to be a very deeply ingrained habit.
"If their bond survives this challenge," Nodoka said
quietly, turning to go.
One point for Nodoka. She may be loopy, but she saw that.
Nodoka's not delusional; she has some rather eccentric attitudes, but
she's not stupid and she's not oblivious.
"You just want an EXCUSE to go 'spar' with the poor blind
guy, you and your case of hot-pants!" Ranma shouted, his face a
foot from Akane's.
OK. Now I see. I did NOT think he would think that...
It's a big leap to make, but since the honeymoon Ranma's previous anxiety
about kissing, hugging, etc. has springboarded to a whole new domain... of
idiocy. :)
"Yeah? You say 'vile' things like that about ME all the
time! You're always talkin' like I'm gonna screw Kodachi, or
Ukyo, or SOMEONE, any chance I get!"
"That's DIFFERENT!"
"The HELL it is! It's the SAME!"
Right!
Those two, I swear, are so much like each other in some ways that they'd
be insulted if anyone told them so. :)
Ranma let go like Akane's arm was red-hot. "Ah, heh-heh,"
he chuckled weakly, putting his hand to the back of his head.
Time for some damage control.
No, that's after she clobbers him. "First-aid kit!" :)
That one was harder to deny; Akane's palm tingled with the
body-memory of the slap she'd delivered to Ranma to keep him from
harming Shinnosuke, a blow that had hurt him more than any other
she'd ever landed in all their long, violent association. "I
just felt sorry for him...."
Very good. The look in Ranma's eyes when she hit him. The way she
looked at her hand, as if it wasn't part of her. I've looked at
those particular pages many times.
Me too, of course, and also the frame where they're falling together,
inverted. Ryugenzawa was very important to them.
Some of Akane's anger returned. She took a step forward and
seized the collar of Ranma's kendogi in her fists. "Listen to
me," she hissed, puntuating each sentence with a shake. "It
doesn't matter if I feel sorry for Kotaro-san. Nothing I ever
feel about anyone else matters. I made the same promises you
did. I only make love with YOU. I only feel that way about YOU.
I love YOU, you BAKA! GOT THAT?!"
Best way for her to tell him. A sweet way wouldn't do it, but violent
Akane...Yes
I thought so. :)
"Nothing." Akane frowned again; now that she thought of
it.... "Ranma, how come you haven't made a move on me since that
time on our honeymoon?"
He hasn't? OY!
Ranma just doesn't seem to have much of a sex drive, for reasons that
Taming went into, and I've been taking the position that a lot of Akane's
temper is, um, sublimated libido. It'll take him a while to catch up to
her. :)
"And how do you think I feel that you never make a move on
me?" Akane finished. "I wish you would, sometimes."
In this case, I hope she gets what she just wished for.
Ask, and you shall receive. :)
"Well." Ranma's expression cleared. "Since you put it THAT
way--" He scooped her up in his arms and leapt.
YAY!
Nodoka would agree with you. :)
"So, you in the mood now?" Ranma said teasingly.
BIG GRIN!
Warning! Incoming lime! :)
Nodoka heard the scream as she closed the front door behind
her; she dropped her bundle and hurried to where the katana
rested on its stand. *That sounded like Akane-chan!* she
thought, rushing up the stairs with the katana. *I can't believe
Ranma would mistreat her!* She flung open the door of Ranma's
room--
OOPS
By now getting caught in flagrante delicto is second nature to them. :)
"No." Ranma's tone was very final. "Never. Bad enough I
have to hit you when we're training, but I will not hit you when
I'm mad."
I guess I read your mind.
I think we both read Ranma's :)
Akane felt a flare of temper, but against the combined power
of the afterglow and the intimacy of the moment, it didn't really
have a chance. "Ranma," she said quietly, "I won't let you make
yourself bigger by making me smaller. The things I do have to be
important too. If you want to be stubborn and prideful to
everyone else, that's just fine with me; I'll be stubborn right
alongside you." That image evidently amused Ranma, and he
chuckled. "But not between us." The chuckle died.
*nod*
It's a big step in the "partners" thing.
"Thank you, Masanori-san. This is my father, Tendo Soun,
and this... um, this is my second. If you don't mind, I'd like
to introduce her to you and to Kotaro-san at the same time."
OH?
This confused me until I saw that you weren't expecting Ranma to reveal
his curse.
"You're not gonna believe this," Ranma said wearily, "but
I'm Saotome Ranma. Sorry about that scene earlier."
I thought he'd tell the truth. Very good.
After what happened with the St.H gym gals, I felt it was necessary.
"I don't believe this. The one time I want a guy to feel my
tits, and he won't," Ranma said in disgust. "Jeez." She stomped
over to Kotaro, unbuttoning her shirt, and grabbed the hand that
wasn't holding a bokken. Goosh! "There. See? I mean, get it?"
*laughs so hard she gets sick*
er... *sweatdrop* get well soon? :)
Kotaro's usual humor returned. "Well, I will admit that
your first idea was... entertaining. You certainly have a fine
bosom, Ranma-san."
Hee hee!
Well, she does! She's even proud of it! :)
"Well, of course we'll meet again!" Akane exclaimed.
"Honestly, did you think we would just vanish now that we have
what we wanted?"
Maybe he did, but I didn't. They're better people than that.
Yup. They all want friends, they have martial arts in common... now that
the jealousy has been firmly squashed, it's a no-brainer.
"No, you did good. You've done it before, in tight spots
when you didn't have time to think, but now you can do it when
your butt isn't on the line. I don't want to talk about this too
much 'cause it'd mess you up again, but now you're gonna have a
different problem. You're gonna have to decide how not to defeat
your opponents so badly they'll lose interest."
Yes, I remember their conversation from ToTH. Just beat them enough
to make them think it was a fluke...that they could get you next time.
*racks his brain* Are you sure it was Taming? Bob Barnes states it
explicitly in Masks, and this is a tip o' the hat to that.
"And an edge," Akane quipped. "I'll just have to pursuade
aww gee, I finally found a mistake! "persuade"
I didn't think you could misspell anything!
I an only human. *beep* Oops, will fix.
Ranma, still coughing, waved his hand.
Akane frowned momentarily, wondering why the first cough had
sounded like "P-chan", then shrugged, dismissing the matter.
Gee, I wonder why!
heh heh
"Saotome Akane." She nodded in the direction of the younger
woman.
"Urk." Kuno appeared to suffer a sudden brain-freeze.
He really doesn't accept that marriage, does he...idiot
How can he? I figure he knows it happened, but takes the view that it
isn't valid.
The pigtailed girl shrugged again. "Okay, you asked for it.
Uh, behold!" Akane shook out the bundle she carried into a
length of brightly-colored fabric and held it up as far as her
arms would stretch, so that it formed a screen obscuring the
pigtailed girl from Tatewaki's vision. There was a sudden puff
of steam. "Yow! Hot!"
LOL!
:)
"Aye, if thou'rt too lily-livered for blood."
For some reason Kuno sounds like a pirate here. I got such a vision
of him with the hat and eye patch.
Yes, it's typical of the higher class of movie pirate (the ones who don't
go "'R!" all the time), but what the heck...
Akane grinned suddenly. "It sure is. Remember what Nabiki
told you when you met the pigtailed girl?" He did, and the next
words from her lips echoed them: "Listen, Kuno-kun. My heart and
my body both belong to Saotome Ranma." She held up her fist with
one finger extended: the one bearing a golden ring.
Good girl
Shades of what she told Kumon and Tarou, but with more enthusiasm. From
her point of view, it's the simple truth...
Nodoka let out a breath. "I do hope you're right, dear.
Oh, if only you were with child...." It took all of Akane's self-
control to prevent a facefault.
She IS loopy, she really is.
"Oh, so many grandchildren!" :)
"Oi! Over here!" he called, beckoning. Another bush met a
premature end, and another, and another, as Ranma led Kuno in a
wholesale slaughter of the landscaping. Then Ranma sailed over
Kuno in an elegant layout flip and scampered back towards the
audience.
Kuno's gardener is going to hate him.
Somehow, I suspect he does already... and then there's the matter of
Kodachi's pet Midorigame. :) I figure the guy gets hazard pay.
"I was thinking about what our damn-fool fathers meant by
'joining of the schools', and what it ought to mean. I've been
teaching you Saotome-ryu, but maybe there's some stuff in Tendo-
ryu that's worthwhile, too. I was thinking about what you said
about me just needing to study forms a bit." She held out one of
the two bokken in her hands to Akane. "So I was thinking maybe
you could, uh, you could help me with that... if you wanted to,
that is."
Yay! He did it!
Thump him enough times, he gets the idea. :)
Akane's tears overflowed as she stepped forward and accepted
the bokken. "Ranma... I would be so happy to, I can't even tell
you." She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her other hand.
"Ranma, about that challenge...."
"Yeah?"
"You win." *And so do I.*
And so do we all, because you wrote this. Thanks, Vince.
You're welcome, of course.
I have nothing to criticize, really, except for the little bits I
included (especially about the blindness). Yes, Stan did eventually
feel my face, but to caress it, not to see what it looked like.
Yes, I know, but I needed something that Akane and Kotaro would think was
OK, but would drive Ranma bananananas. In Japan, where the body (and
especially the face) is even more "personal space" than it is here, it
would be even more forward... but I couldn't think of anything better.
What I particularly like about this story is the way you are making
the characters grow. They grew during ToTH, but this is more. This
is a relationship that is going to get better and better, even with
two stubborn, imperfect, and sometimes impatient people.
That's one of the core themes of Centaur, of course. Takahashi apparently
thinks that it's so obvious that Ranma and Akane will marry, and probably
stay married, that she didn't bother to tell those stories. There are
lots of dark and/or angsty "Ranma and Akane marry, but things go wrong"
fics, and I've read a lot of them and enjoyed the good ones, but I feel
the need to weigh in on the side of optimism, and I'm going to go on doing
that.
I'm looking forward to more.
I hope to deliver. :) Next up is a little step back in time to the
aftermath of Chapter 2: the gymnastics match at Furinkan, featuring all
three Kunos. :)
Thanks for your comments, June!
Vince Seifert Fanfic Analyst FFIRC Frog
Prime: seifertv@csus.edu
Backup: seifertv@myrealbox.com
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
Ideas are worth their weight in gold.