At 12:03 PM 12/8/99 -0700, David Johnston wrote:

Hi there,

>    "But this Ranma Saotome is only barely of the nobility!" protested
>Kunou vigorously.  "Whereas our proud lineage has been touched by the
>near-divinity of the Imperial Bloodline itself!  To taint it with such

Whaddayamean "near"?  In that universe, Kuno wouldn't qualify his
description.

Hmm... good point.  I will fix.

>     After a long moment of study, the other Ranma shook his head, a
>slight trickle of blood leaking from his nose as he muttered something
>about the effect of tight gymnastics garb on a certain Amazon's frame.

Curiously, mainline Ranma doesn't seem to do that.  Actually, nobody
does except Ryoga, who is of course the shyest of all the characters.

That's because mainline Ranma has no sex drive that I have ever seen.

>    "Thank you for a most lovely time, Saotome-kun," Kodachi said with
>a
>bow as they stood outside her classroom.  Feeling bold, she asked
>"Would
>you be interested in having lunch with me again tomorrow?"

>     "Of course, Kodachi," said Ranma, deciding that he did not mind

Kodachi-_san_ if this Ranma has any manners.

Well, in an earlier chapter, she gave him permission to not use an
honorific.  She is just so well-bred that she can't NOT use one with
him.  Plus, I got to like how it sounded to have a girl talk like that
from listening to Madoka in KOR.

>her tale any description of the Earth where the Empire was at war.  *I
>will spare him that pain,* she decided.  *Let the death of his analog
>on
>that world from a betrayal by the cold-blooded reptile named Nabiki

Yah.  Sure.  I have trouble believing that Kodachi would pass up such an
easy chance to make her rival look bad.

Well, maybe she is just saving it for a special occasion.  :)

>    "R-Ranma honey, how was your day?" said Ukyou, suddenly feeling
>more
>than a little like a dork.  Luckily, there was only a single customer
>in

Inconsistent.  "Ranma honey" is doubtless a translation of "Ranma-chan"
or "Ranchan" but you haven't translated the other uses of honorifics.

I will flipflop on using Ranchan and Ranma honey, since I like how both
sound.

>and his memories from his other counterparts were no help.  He also did
>not think it would be wise to ask Ukyou why she was cross-dressing at

Why not?  "Why are you dressed like a guy?" doesn't seem like a
dangerous question to me.

Well, I am trying to make him a little more circumspect in how he acts
with the girls,

>purge him of his unwanted and uncomfortable desires for the 'boy' he
>had
>battled against and trained alongside of for so many years.

Delete "of".  "boy" probably shouldn't be in quotes since this is
Ryoga's POV, but if it was, "boy" would be correct.

Oops.  Good point.

Thanks for the comments.
JK