This is the first time I write C&C, but I sense a lot of potential in this fic so I would like to give my 5 cents into making this fic a better
one.
John-Martin Lotz wrote:
All Relative Part 2, A SM/Ranma 1/2 crossover
Sailor Moon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko and some
corporations. Ranma 1/2 is the property of Takashi Rumiko and some
other corporation
Notes:
1) This starts Dark then turns Waffy
2) For the purpose of this story all of the Inner Scouts attend Juuban High
3) I faithfully promise that Ranma will NOT become a Sailor Scout,
nor be reincarnated from the Moon Kingdom as anyone important)
Quick recap of the players
Ranma Ranma
Haruka Sailor Uranus
Michiru Sailor Neptune
Hotaru Sailor Saturn
Ami Sailor Mercury
Minako Sailor Venus
Usagi Sailor Moon
Mamora Tuxedo Mask
Rei Sailor Mars
Makato Sailor Jupiter
Setsuna Sailor Pluto
Okay, first of all I find all of this intro a bit unnecesary
As the two left there was moment of silence as the rest
absorbed the thought of Haruka giving her car to anyone,
even Michiru. She grinned at them, "We brought two cars."
"Anyway I do need your help. I have somehow found myself
through my honor to be the guardian of a sex-shifting, teen-aged,
martial-artist. One who will need a stick to beat off would be
suitors in either sex. A walking nail begging to be pounded
down. And I'm sure that is just the beginning of the troubles,
once I have time to think I'm certain to think of others."
The silence deepened to stillness as the rest took in the problems
facing her.
"Errr, can I help," Makato Kino (Sailor Jupiter) raised her hand,
Haruka looked at her. "Suggesting some other problems you
might want to think about."
it�s "Makoto", and you already mentioned her alter-ego at the begining, so you should just erase it
"Ranma is about 15 right.."
The rest looked at Makato, stunned that she had yet to mention
that Ranma didn't resemble her old boyfriend. Haruka nodded.
"When my parents died I was broken up, but I had my friends
and family around to help me. As near as I can figure, Ranma
lost everything. The way of life he has known for two thirds of
his life, gone. The only person who has been a constant in his
life, gone. He didn't say, but I have a feeling that he ended up
burying his father after he killed himself. Then he walked out
of wherever he was and got here, he doesn't look as if he ever
had the time to mourn."
Haruka closed her eyes, as the Ami Mizunzu, who was
sitting behind Usagi patted her on the back, then spoke,
"Haruka-san." The honorific somehow seemed appropriate
to the message she had to give. "That is not all, You saw
what happened when he got wet. We have all grown up as
girls, we knew what to expect socially and physically. As
an example, he had never had her time."
Ami Mizuno
The rest looked puzzled as they parsed the sentence,
then their eyes widened as they exchanged glances.
Ami wasn't paying any attention, "I would doubt that he
ever sat a modern health class - especially one for girls."
"Any there is something else, you heard him comment
on being raised a MAN among men. Anyone want to bet
that he grew up on comments like, 'Don't be a girl', 'Only
girls cry', 'You are weak just like a girl.' Looking around
she could tell she wasn't about to win any sucker bets.
This situation is probably one step beyond embarrassing
to him, it must be mortifying. The fact that he is still going
speaks wonders as to his strength."
Haruka sagged for an instant; then Usagi spoke up, using
her Serenity voice. "Uranus, can we help you bear your load.
The five of us attend Juubun High School, if you need help
we can help keep an eye on Ranma at school."
�? are they transformed,did Usagi turn into Serenity?, you should give more detail
"Thanks but for now I'll watch him. I'll keep the offer in
mind, but for right now, I could use any advice you could
provide."
Rei just looked at Usagi/Serenity, "If I ever fall back into
just thinking of her as an air headed twit, I want to make
sure that I remember this," She thought to herself.
"What do you think Setsuna," the Sensei of Fire asked,
The Senshi
The six girls sat to make plans.
The next morning, Michiru sat sipping a cup alternately
giggling as Haruka bounced from cupboard to cupboard-
muttering comments as to just how much one teenaged boy
can eat and contemplating Haruka. Most people just saw
her brash, intemperate side, but before they had drifted off
to sleep, Hotura had told her everything that the rest of the
Sailor Scout had said, fretting that there was no way that
she could ever successfully raise Ranma. Privately,
Michiru thought it - Haruka's fretting - was a good sign.
Hotura starred out the widow, entranced as this cousin of
Hotaru
Ranma chose a relatively normal situation
from his past, somehow he doubted that throwing Ki and
using some of the secret Satome family techniques he
had seen his pop use and learned, would reassure his
guardian.
I agree :)
. However weak as she is physically, she
must be a target for her school friends teasing."
�? you should write this again, I�m no english master, but it�s just wrong
She nodded.
Hotura giggled slightly to herself as a bit latter she
went into school, her classmates staring at her and the
departing Ranma. Ranma had volunteered to take her
on as a student and offered to walk her school.
She had thought that it would mean walking to school . . .
on the ground. And it had for a bit, then as she was
beginning to feel a bit tired, he asked and taking her
book bag had swung her onto his shoulder and resumed
walking, Then he explained that one of the critical things
that a martial artist was balance, and he jumped up to the
top of a wall and just strolled along effortlessly as if
they were on the ground.
Intersection were leapt over, without breaking stride
and too soon they arrived at school. And he softly landed.
"Later Hotura-chan."
"Bye for now, brother" She had thought about it and decided that the
term fit.
End part two
Here you go, It seems that people like this one so I'll
continue to work on it.
Count me on
Regarding the car engine scene, I know it never occurred in the original
It doesn�t really matter, remember it�s YOUR fic, so write whatever you like :P
I think that your fic is pretty good, and i�m looking forward for the next chapter, �cause it�s refreshing to read a SM/Ranma fic knowing
that Ranma is NOT going to end with a fuku or some strange past life.