Discussions 6
(We see Genma & Nodoka Saotome holding on to each other as the cabbit
conselor extrodinare, Ryo-oh-ki is sitting with at her table. A huge mirror
is behind her.)
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa, miyaa.
Genma: Y-y-y-you really think so? You think you can halt our son's fear of
cats?
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa miyaa miyaa. Miyaa, miyaa!
Nodoka: I don't understand...how could he be not really afraid of cats.
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa, miyaa, miyaa.
Genma: Ack! Like I did when h-h-h-he...wrapped up in fishing nets with
various fishes? (Ryo-oh-ki nods.)
Nodoka: H-h-h-how could you!
Ryo-oh-ki: miyaa, miyaa. Miyaa, miyaa, miyaa.
(Genma looks at his wife, and then starts to chuckle.)
Genma: Heh...heh, hehehehe...Me? Afraid of my wife? (Chich! Nodoka pulls out
her kitana. Genma suddenly hides behind the chair.) Please! Don't kill me!
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa, miyaa! Miya, miyaa miyaa!
Nodoka: What do you mean it's all my fault!
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa, miyaa miyaa?
Nodoka: Of course I did, but it was the only way I could be certain that my
son would return as a man! A death-contract was the only way to go.
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa miyaa miyaa. Miyaa miyaa!
Genma: S-s-so what do you think is causing Ranma to be afraid of cats, if
he's not really afraid of cats?
(Ryo-oh-ki pushes a button. The mirror opens up and there's Ranma, tied up
and wrapped with fishnet filled with fish. Ranma turns around suddenly.)
Ranma: Meow! Meow!
(Ryo-oh-ki flips a panel, and Luna, Artemis, and Diana walk across the
floor. They hop on the tied-up Ranma and start to converse with him.)
Diana: Meow?
Ranma: Meow! Meow!
Artemis: Meow, meow?
Ranma: Meow! Meow! Meow!
Luna: Meow, meow?
Ranma: Meow!
Genma: Um...what did they say?
(Luna turns and looks at the group.)
Luna: Well, I think you have to understand that Ranma isn't really afraid of
cats. You think he is, but what's really happening is that cats are
triggering his memories back to the time as a child when you, sir, wrapped
him up. He keeps saying, "Daddy! Please don't keep me here!"
(Genma blinks. Nodoka starts to cry.)
Genma: B-but why would he do that?
Nodoka (screaming): He's afraid of you, you big dope! Everytime he's
fighting you, he's really hiding the fact that he's afraid of you! Do you
really want a son who's afraid of you?
Ryo-oh-ki: Mmeeeiyaaaa. Miyaa, miyaa, miyaa.
Nodoka: I do not make my husband and child to be afraid of me! (Genma
furiously nods his head.) What? You're afraid of me? Why?
Genma: It's that damn sword of yours!
Nodoka: Darling? Does that really frighten you!
Genma (bawling): Y-y-yes! You've always scared me! I'm afraid of you!
Waaahhhhh!
(Ryo-oh-ki face-faults, then looks up as a lightbulb appears over her head.)
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa! Miyaa miyaa miyaa miyaa. Miyaa, miyaa miyaa miyaaa. Miyaa?
Diana: You really think if we just left the room and get Genma to untie
Ranma and then let Nodoka enter the room without her kitana, everything will
be better?
Nodoka: B-b-but that's not manly! (Ryo-oh-ki glares at Nodoka.)
Ryo-oh-ki (screaming): MIYAAA MIYAA MIYAA!!!! (Nodoka shrinks back in fear.)
Nodoka: C-child abuse! This is child abuse?
(The three cats and one cabbit nod.)
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa, miyaa miyaa...miyaa miyaa.
Nodoka: I see. (She lowers her head and drops the kitana.) I suppose you're
right. I can't let my husband or son to be molded in my image, I guess. (She
turns to her husband.) I'm sorry if I've frightened you so. I can't imagine
that my desires has turned you into an idiot and a moron.
Genma (blushing): Well...maybe the moron part is my fault.
(The camera pans over to where Ranma is. The cats have already left, leaving
him twitching alone. There's the sound of a door opening. Ranma starts to
hiss and tries to arch his back as Genma comes in. Genma smiles, and unties
the boy. He then hugs him.)
Genma: I've come to save you, boy. (Nodoka comes in, sans the kitana.)
Nodoka: And I've come to tell you you've become a man, and you will always
be one to me.
Ranma: Me-me-me...(He gets dazed a bit.) Y-Y-You really save me... (Diana
crawls up the chair and meows. Ranma jerks his head to the kitten, then
blinks.) Wait...wait...
Genma & Nodoka: Oh, our son is cured!!! (They hug each other and Ranma.)
Ranma: Hey! Wait! I need air!!!
(While the family hugs and cries to each other and forgives each other,
Ryo-oh-ki and the cats sit in the way cats would.)
Diana: Do you really think this will work, Dr. Ryo-oh-ki?
Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa...
(The scene shifts to the Tendou Household. Akane is playing Go with her
father, Soun. Nabiki and Kasumi are online fighting in a Unreal Tournament.)
Kasumi: Oh, my! Fraging people is so much messy fun!
Nabiki (grumbling): Easy for you to say, you're in the lead...
(Akane looks out the window, and Genma, Nodoka, and Ranma are walking up the
front steps, cheerfully talking to each other.)
Akane: They're here!
Soun: Oh, I hope the doctor cured Ranma's fear of cats!
(Nodoka, Genma and Ranma walk in.)
Soun: Well?
Genma: The boy's cured. And I'm cured. And we're a family once again.
Soun (crying): That's great! Now Ranma and Akane will get married!
Nodoka: I'm afraid that isn't exactly going to happen.
Soun, Akane, Nabiki, & Kasumi: What?!
Ranma: Yeah. (He smiles, and walks up to Nabiki. He smiles and then
passionately kiss her. She staggers out of the kiss. The others are
shocked.)
Nabiki: W-w-what's the meaning of this?!
Ranma: I don't want a girl like Akane who'll dominate me, I want a smart
girl who knows a hell a lot more about things than I do. And you are pretty
cute too.
Nabiki: Me cute? (She laughs, which dies down as she starts to blush, then
she shrugs as she returns the passionate kiss. Akane pumps her fists.)
Akane: Yyyeesss!!!
Kasumi: Akane, what on earth was that for?
Akane: Because now, I can fulfill my long dream of marrying Tsubasa Kurenai.
(She pulls out a cell phone.) Okay Tsubasa-chan. You can come out from your
hiding place now.
(Tsubasa pops out from Soun's gi, which shocks and stupifies Soun, who
faints.)
Tsubasa: Oh, Akane-chan! Does it mean that you and I can get married now!
Kasumi: Oh, my...
Nodoka (looking somewhat puzzled): But, Akane, dear. Why Tsubasa?
Akane: He's a model and a world famous fashion designer. He's worth at least
a cool 50 million yen. Isn't that right, Tsubasa-chan?
Tsubasa: As long as it stays in our secret-secret Swiss Bank account! (The
two smiles.)
(Genma and Nodoka are speechless. Kasumi smiles.)
Kasumi: Oh, my! I guess that means I can say that I've fallen in love with
an American Goth! (She rips out her wig to reveal a punk putrid green dyed
hair spiked up. She also reveals three belly-button rings, four nose rings,
and two tongue piercings. Soun gets up, sees the Goth-Kasumi and faints
again.)
Nodoka: Oh, my...
Kasumi: Oh, my, that's just the begining. He's suppose to kidnap me
tomorrow, and take me to the New Zealand islands where we'll get married and
live our lives as groupies for Metallica. (She smiles as only Kasumi can.)
(Outside, Ryo-oh-ki, Diana, Luna, and Artemis look stunned with their mouths
opened. Diana sighs.)
Diana: Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board...