Subject: [FFML] Re: [FFML][fanfic][R1/2] Quantum Destinies 10 (1 of 2)
From: David Johnston
Date: 12/8/1999, 2:03 PM
To: Jurai Knight
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

   "But this Ranma Saotome is only barely of the nobility!" protested
Kunou vigorously.  "Whereas our proud lineage has been touched by the
near-divinity of the Imperial Bloodline itself!  To taint it with such

Whaddayamean "near"?  In that universe, Kuno wouldn't qualify his 
description. 

    After a long moment of study, the other Ranma shook his head, a
slight trickle of blood leaking from his nose as he muttered something
about the effect of tight gymnastics garb on a certain Amazon's frame.

Curiously, mainline Ranma doesn't seem to do that.  Actually, nobody 
does except Ryoga, who is of course the shyest of all the characters.  

   "Thank you for a most lovely time, Saotome-kun," Kodachi said with 
a
bow as they stood outside her classroom.  Feeling bold, she asked 
"Would
you be interested in having lunch with me again tomorrow?"

    "Of course, Kodachi," said Ranma, deciding that he did not mind

Kodachi-_san_ if this Ranma has any manners.

her tale any description of the Earth where the Empire was at war.  *I
will spare him that pain,* she decided.  *Let the death of his analog 
on
that world from a betrayal by the cold-blooded reptile named Nabiki

Yah.  Sure.  I have trouble believing that Kodachi would pass up such an 
easy chance to make her rival look bad.  

   "R-Ranma honey, how was your day?" said Ukyou, suddenly feeling 
more
than a little like a dork.  Luckily, there was only a single customer 
in

Inconsistent.  "Ranma honey" is doubtless a translation of "Ranma-chan" 
or "Ranchan" but you haven't translated the other uses of honorifics.

and his memories from his other counterparts were no help.  He also did
not think it would be wise to ask Ukyou why she was cross-dressing at

Why not?  "Why are you dressed like a guy?" doesn't seem like a 
dangerous question to me.  

purge him of his unwanted and uncomfortable desires for the 'boy' he 
had
battled against and trained alongside of for so many years.

Delete "of".  "boy" probably shouldn't be in quotes since this is 
Ryoga's POV, but if it was, "boy" would be correct.




-- .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List---. | Administrators - ffml-admins@fanfic.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@fanfic.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---http://www.fanfic.com/FFML-FAQ.txt ---'