--- Kyle Emmerson <kyle_emmerson@geocities.com> wrote:
Divinity
By Kyle Emmerson
Ranma � and all of its characters and situations
are
the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi. I use
these characters and situations without permission.
Chapter Eight: The Kids Aren't All Right.
****
"What's taking them so long," Aizen muttered,
That comma should probably be a question mark.
glancing at the clock on the wall. "Saotome should
have been
out at least by now."
That sentence seems a little awkward. Maybe you should
just take out the 'at least'.
Aizen looked around the restaurant. There was only
one thing she could do.
"Hey, I'm gonan go see what's keeping Ranko,
gonan-->gonna
okay?"
She told Akane, and then looked over towards Ryouga.
decapitalize the 'she'
"Why
don't you see what's keeping YOUR friend?"
Ryouga snapped out of his reverie for a moment, and
then nodded. He got up and then bounded off the the
Take out one of those 'the's
<...>
Not good. Definately NOT good.
Definitely
<...>
"I mean, how did you get up there?! And how did you
get so... BIG?!"
No. There was too much riding on this. Yuka knew,
he
didn't need Ryouga to know. Ryouga would let it slip
somehow.
"Inflatable muscles," he beamed.
Ryouga's jaw dropped. "Inflatable? But then.. how
did you--"
"Oh, up there? Helium!"
Ryouga nodded as if it had just dawned on him.
"Well, you should get back out there. Akane Tendo is
here
now, and Ranko just walked in."
Takao nodded. "Sure."
"And take that stuff off. You look ridiculous!" he
added. "Besides, I can see the seam!"
Hehe. :)
Takao grit his teeth and continued to nod.
Just then, Aizen hopped into the room, looking
around frantically.
Ryouga went into stutter mode immediately. "Uhh, hi
Aizen! What... ah, brings you here?"
"I heard someone scream," she replied, looking at
the two of them. "Have you guys seen Ranko any
where?"
Ryouga shook his head.
"I think she, ah... changed," Takao said.
Aizen shook her head. "No, she changed at home."
Takao sighed. "No, I mean she got a little HOT, and
CHANGED."
Aizen blinked. "She didn't look that hot to me,"
she
replied.
"I think she had a little JUSENKYO in her system."
:)
<...>
Of course it does! It's Ranma Saotome! He's in
I prefer to think of him as wimpy Ranma, myself.
her
class, for goodness sake!
She let her eyes wander over to the door, and
immediately dropped herself into her chair.
It wasn't in fact, Ranma Saotome. She hadn't
actually memorized the way he looked, but he sure
wasn't
THAT big.
The aura began to glow between the two of them.
Akane shrunk back for a moment, not expecting to see
Takao's
battle aura flare up, but then let hers grow along
with it.
Yeah! Let's see some action!
<...>
Akane launched another kick, and Saotome avoided
that one jsut as easily, by sidestepping it and
jsut-->just
letting her
leg hit the table across from them. There were the
beginnings of a crowd beginning to grow.
'A crowd was beginning to grow.' will do just fine
here.
****
"Guys, it's a restaurant! I don't know much about
this plane, but I do know the word POLICE! We'll be
Aizen: Hooked on Phonics works for me!
arrested!"
<...>
"Really?!" Ryouga exclaimed. "I had no idea! I
didn't think Ranma's parents were the type to--"
This seems interesting...Wonder where it's going...
"Well, his parents don't really know yet. Ranko is
staying there, and they haven't made the connection,
which
is why Takao is kind of shying away from the place."
"But how come he acted like Ranma when I saw him? I
mean, he could have told me!"
"Because Ranma himself doesn't know yet. And
they're
not supposed to know. Not for a while."
Ryouga shook his head. "Why not? I mean, if he's
Ranma's brother, then he has a right to know!"
Aizen looked down. It wasn't the most creative of
excuses, but anything would work out. She just had
to...
This is kind of disappointing. I was hoping for
something more creative, but what can you do?
That's it. Her recollections from another reality.
She's just use the name of that top secret
organization...
what was it? Oh yeah.
"MERV."
Both Akane and Ryouga blinked, moving in to listen
closer.
"What?"
"MERV. Takao and I work for a top secret
organization called MERV."
I take that back. This is good enough for me.
<...>
A grown from the corner resounded, and the
grown-->groan
three of
them looked over to the stirring form of Ranko.
"Are you all right, Takao? If I had known, I
wouldn't have--" Akane began, frantic for an
apology.
Ranko sat up and felt her forehead. She checked her
nether regions a moment later, to ensure they were
still
attached.
She let out an ear piercing scream. "You CUT 'em
OFF!"
That seems like a pretty unreasonable exclamation, but
I guess he's still out of it.
"Relax, Saotome!" Aizen yelled. "You're in girl
form!"
Ranko calmed down a moment later, and checked
herself.
True enough, she was in girl form. But then--
She looked up. Akane had called her Takao. Did that
mean--?
"Aizen...?"
"I told them, Takao," she said.
Ranko got extremely dizzy for a moment, and then
slumped back to the floor.
"Well," Aizen said as Ranko lost consciousness.
"She
took that well."
****
Authors notes:
Sorry for the delay, folks. Things have been really
hectic
on the homefront, which you would know if you were
paying
attention to my last few posts. Anyhoo, here's the
next
chapter. I must apologize for the quality, it's not
as...
good as the previous chapters, but I'm nearly out of
I dunno. I kind of liked it.
time and
I want to get out as much as possible before the
15th.
Wait, are you dumping everything then? I thought
everything was stable, and I'm eager to see the next
chapter.
Anyway, C&C is, as usual, GREATLY appreciated.
Hope I helped.
ttyl,
=====
-----
L.A.
-----
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