You weren't born yet.  Trust me.

	"Tell me the future, Eowyn," Princess Serenity said 
softly in the darkness.

	Only starlight filtered in through the window to 
dimly illuminate them; they should have been asleep long 
ago, but neither of them could sleep.

	"You will go on a long journey and meet a tall, dark 
stranger," Eowyn muttered.  "Ask Cassandra about the 
future, not me."

	Princess Serenity reached over and squeezed her 
hand.  "Don't the spirits sometimes bring you visions of 
future events?"

	"Right now, they foresee me being tired and cranky 
from lack of sleep," Eowyn muttered.

	"I'm just...wondering if he's okay.  If he made it out 
of whatever is happening on the Earth."  Her face 
darkened.  There were a billion rumors as to what had 
happened, and reports that the Seven Scourges were all 
breaking free at once.  The Outer Senshi had gone to help 
stop a massive invasion by Xoth and its allies.  "But once 
he and his Guardians arrive...if they arrive.  They'll 
arrive, won't they?"

	Eowyn sighed.  "I don't know."  She wiggled over and 
put an arm around the Princess, hugging her gently.  "I 
don't know.  The spirits of Earth are being slaughtered by 
dark spirits or corrupted or forced into slumber.  Earth 
will become a silent planet for a time."

	"I'll just talk extra to make up for it," Princess 
Serenity said, trying to perk Eowyn up.

	"You'd better get started then," she said.  "He'll 
come back to you," she said.  "And you'll be safe tonight, 
with me here.  No more nightmares for you."

	"Thank you, Eowyn.  I always feel safer when you're 
with me at night," she said, then laid back on the bed, and 
in an instant, she was asleep.

	I wish I knew how to do that, Eowyn thought, lying 
down and summoning a slumber spirit to knock herself 
out.

*****************

	Children of Fire
	A Sailor Moon/Ranma Elseworld

	Chapter 5:  A Day at the Races

	http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/SMR/

	By
	John Biles

*****************

	Ranma arrived home from school, to find Usagi 
waiting for him.  "Yo," he said.

	"Hi," she said.  "I found Ryouga.  He wants to finish 
your duel."

	"Fine.  Any time," Ranma said.  "Even if I don't 
understand why he's so mad.  So where is he?"

	"He went to the bathroom."

	"You let him go by himself?" Ranma asked 
dubiously.

	Usagi blinked.  "He's not a child who needs his hand 
held."

	"Well, when he shows up in a few weeks, we can 
have our duel."

	"Eh?"

	"He gets lost easily," Ranma said.  "VERY easily."

***********

	Ryouga stepped out of the bathroom.  Why is 
Saotome taking so long to get home from school, he asked 
himself, walking down the hallway.  He rounded the 
corner and bumped into another teen, this one about a 
year older than him with curly brown hair, dressed in a 
hakama with a bokken at his waist.  They stared at each 
other.

	Ryouga said, "Are you another acolyte?"

	"What are you doing in my house?" the older boy 
demanded.

	"What, isn't this the Hino Shrine?"

	"No."

	How did I get here?  Ryouga asked himself.  
Saotome must have done something to trick me because 
he's afraid to face me.  "DAMN YOU, SAOTOME!  I WILL FIND 
AND DEFEAT YOU!"  

	He ran off, leaving Kunou to conclude he needed to 
get new door locks.

**********

	"Just reach for it, and draw it forth as you did 
when fighting Major Diamond," Pluto said.

	Guardian Uranus nodded and tried to remember what 
she had done when fighting the man who had usurped her 
name.  Just imagine the way the handle felt and reach for 
it...

	This time, she felt power gather in her fingers, and 
a tug as if she had yanked some sort of...some sort of net.  
There was a flow of energy, and the white hilted sword 
appeared.  She brandished it.  "Cool!  Now what?"

	"Umm...I suppose you chop things up with it."  Pluto 
said.

	They were in Setsuna's backyard, which had nice 
high stone walls so no one would see them.  She was 
trying to help them figure out how to use their powers.  
Guardian Saturn was over in one corner of the yard 
burning his fingers trying to pull chestnuts out of a fire 
before they could burst.  Setsuna had said that when he 
could pull them out without them bursting, he would have 
mastered one of his first rotes, which would greatly 
increase his punching speed.

	"Ow.  Ow.  Ow.  Ow."

	Guardian Uranus looked over at Guardian Saturn.  
"You're gonna fry your hands to ash, Ranchan."

	"I can take it," Saturn grunted.  "Ow.  Ow.  Ow."  
Things weren't going well.

	"But you're hurting yourself!  How are you gonna do 
anything with your hands burnt up?!"

	Pluto put a hand on her shoulder.  "He'll be fine.  He 
heals quickly due to his powers, too.  And I don't know 
another way to try to help him remember how to do it.  
That's how he told me the previous Guardian of Saturn, 
Sandstone, trained him."

	Uranus shuddered.  Another reminder that Pluto had 
been alive during the Silver Millennium.  And had been very 
close to Ruby.  Back off, she thought.  This time, I get to 
be with him.  You had your chance.  But she couldn't bring 
herself to say it.

	Pluto's eyes suddenly widened.  "No, Ruby, not like 
that!"  She started to run over, but it was too late.  The 
chestnuts exploded at hyperspeed and the fire roared up 
as it consumed all of its fuel in an instant.  Saturn fell 
backwards, covered with ash in front, his uniform burnt 
in several places.

	"Ugh....don't call me Ruby," he muttered, then passed 
out.

	"I don't think THAT was part of the training!"  
Uranus said, rushing over and trying to brush the ash off 
him.  

	"He sped the fire up instead of himself," Pluto said, 
tapping him with her staff and muttering something.  She 
sagged slightly and the burns on his flesh faded away, 
leaving him dirty but unhurt.  "He'll do better the next 
time."

	"A few more accidents and there won't be a next 
time!"  Uranus said angrily.  "Why can't you train him the 
way you were trained instead of going by your memory of 
something he told you twenty thousand years ago?"

	"Because the powers of Senshi and Guardians work 
differently.  I have the powers to see into the future and 
past, and to travel though time.  His power is to alter its 
flow, faster or slower, or to stop it completely.  I can 
try to use his powers, but it hurts.  If I was to use his 
ultimate technique, the stoppage of time, I would die.  On 
the other hand, if he tried to travel though time, he 
would tear himself apart in the process."

	She turned to face Uranus.  "In your case, you have 
the power to create and analyze matter, while your 
female counterpart has the ability to reshape it."  She 
paused thoughtfully.  "Although the fact that you are 
female does complicate matters."

	"What does THAT mean?"

	"Guardians are male.  Senshi are female.  You can't 
have a female Guardian any more than you can have a 
male woman.  Yet, you seem to have no problem with 
using a man's power.  Of course, summoning a sword is 
simpler than conjuring an entire castle, so perhaps you'd 
have more problems with a harder power."

	Uranus frowned.  "But Ranchan doesn't have any 
trouble when he's a woman."

	"Yes, but that's not his true, base form.  You're 
really a woman, and he's really a man."  She frowned.  
"Well, we'll figure it out, Diamond."

	Saturn stood and shook himself off.  "Call me 
Ranma.  And she's Ukyou now.  Ruby and Diamond died."

	"You're the same person," she said.  "You even look 
the same, except for your hair.  His got cut short after an 
accident."

	Saturn stared at her, trying to figure out how he 
could make her understand what he meant.  If she was as 
smart as she is cute, she wouldn't have any trouble, he 
thought.  He found himself wishing her uniform's neckline 
dipped a little bit lower and didn't have the bow in the 
way of staring at her...chest.  A memory of a time he'd 
seen her naked popped into his head, along with memories 
of what they had done, and he turned beet red at the 
thought.  Don't say anything about sex, he told himself.  
Nothing at all.  

	He turned around.  "I'm gonna try that again.  
Where's the be...the charcoal?"  Damn my mouth, he 
thought.  

	Uranus was not blind, and realized what Saturn had 
been staring at.  Dammit, I wish my uniform showed off 
my figure, she thought.  I look like a guy in this.  A very 
well-dressed guy, but that won't help.   "I'll help you, 
Ranchan."

	Pluto watched them set up the fire and berated 
herself.  I can't live in the past, she told herself.  I can't 
just count on him loving me.  I have to win his heart 
again.  But how?  She hadn't had a date in thousands of 
years.  

	What does he like?, she asked herself, and answered:  
martial arts, food, action movies, sports.  Hmm.  Has to 
be some way to combine all those.  Maybe I should 
just...no, patience.  Patience, she told herself.  I've 
waited this long, I can wait a little longer.  I should just 
ask him out on a date.  Yes, that's the ticket.  A date.  

	"Ow.  Ow.  Ow."

	Once he recovers from training, anyway, she 
thought.

**************

	Feldspar squirmed.  Jadeite had summoned her for 
an audience, then did nothing except sit quietly and stare 
at her.  The room was barren except for two hard, 
uncomfortable gemstone chairs and black obsidian walls.  
Or perhaps they were basalt.  Either way, they were black 
and shiny and boring.

	Finally, she said, "Sir, why did you call me here?"

	"I'm attempting to determine how Tourmaline's 
sister could be such an idiot."

	Her anger flared, but she tamped it down; Jadeite 
could have her killed.  And she had screwed up, again, 
although it wasn't all her fault.  They hadn't anticipated 
the Senshi doubling their ranks.  How many of the little 
wannabes were there?

	"You say nothing.  Good.  You've always had a big 
mouth to go with your small brain."

	Feldspar bit her tongue.

	"I suppose you simply take after your father, 
although even he has never lost a battle with so many 
resources at his command.  And worse, you let them take 
one of us captive.  If they have some way to breach 
dimensional barriers, they could land in our laps any time 
they WANT to.  They could be rampaging through the 
hallways right this minute."  His voice was calm.  Too 
calm.  Feldspar squirmed as if he'd poured jelly and ants 
on her.

	"You are hereby demoted to Lieutenant."

	Feldspar shook as if she had been struck, but some 
voice of reason held her back from doing anything stupid.  

	"And you're being transferred to Tourmaline's 
command.  Perhaps she can teach you to think before you 
mess up enough that even a request from another general 
won't restrain me from snuffing you like a light.  I 
intended to simply kill you, but she asked that I hand you 
over to her, and after I thought about it, I realized that 
she would punish you far more effectively than I could, 
for your own good.  She'll probably assign you to 
prostitution duties."

	Everything has limits, and Feldspar hit hers.  
"PROSTITUTION?  I'm a warrior, not a cheap whore!"

	"I believe you'll be an expensive one, if Tourmaline 
has anything to say about it, and she will.  You are alive 
because you have relatives who are more useful than you 
are.  But even that won't keep you alive forever, Feldspar.  
If you had failed Beryl directly, instead of simply failing 
me, you would be in eternal sleep at best, and she'd 
probably simply shove you down Metallia's maw.  Be glad 
you're alive.  Four youma died in your place and a fifth is 
probably lucky if he's simply being tortured.  Now, get 
out of my sight."  Only towards the end did his voice rise 
in tone.

	Feldspar sputtered futilely, then rose and stormed 
out, slamming the door behind her.

	Jadeite gave a great sigh.  All was going according 
to plan, assuming he could trust Tourmaline.  She would 
gladly sell him down the river if it seemed the most 
profitable approach, he knew.  But still, while he hated 
her, she was also the only General he could trust of the 
Five.  Tourmaline was outside all their old rivalries, and 
usually laughed at them.  

	Still, it was going to be dangerous.  Feldspar had 
used up a lot of his army's energy reserves, and a trap 
capable of catching the Sailor Senshi and their allies 
would require yet more expense.  And all his plans to 
gather more seemed to go awry.  Subtle, he thought.  I 
need to be more subtle, or to build a scheme they can't 
possibly stumble into, like Tourmaline's love motels.  
Perhaps a transvestite bar?  He shook his head.  Too 
undignified.  He'd die before he ran something like that.  
There has to be somet....ahah!  Yes, excellent.  
	
	He smiled.  This would be perfect.

************

	Ukyou's spatula went flying and then the staff came 
around and smacked her in the head.  She toppled 
backwards and lay dazed.  Usagi ran forward and said, 
"Are you okay?"

	"No, but I'll live," Ukyou said.

	Rei came out of the house.  "Where's Ranma?"

	"Doing homework," Usagi said.  "Our students for 
tonight's class get here in half an hour."

	Rei twitched ever so slightly.  "Doing homework 
where?  I can't find him."

	"Kitchen, I thought," Usagi said, shrugging.  "Ready 
for another go-round, Ukyou?"

	Ukyou hefted her spatula and grinned.  "Born ready."

	Rei frowned.  "He's not in the kitchen."

	"Well, he couldn't have left without going past us, 
so he MUST be in the house."

	"I was supposed to help him with his history 
homework.  Him and Naru."

	Shampoo came out of the house.  "Looking for 
Ranma?"

	"Yeah."

	"He's in our room with Naru and Setsuna."

	A million images, most of them calculated to blow 
Rei's top, flitted through her head.  "Your bedroom?"

	"Uh huh.  They're pretty busy."

	"I'll show them BUSY!" she shouted and ran into the 
house.

	Shampoo looked over at Usagi.  "Why's she so mad 
when they're just studying?  I mean...she's not that 
jealous, is she?"

	"I don't think she thinks they're busy studying," 
Usagi said, laughing.  

	Ukyou simply looked over nervously towards the 
house, saying nothing, but blushing slightly.

*************

	Kodachi looked around the garden and frowned 
deeply.  Where had all these green plants come from?  
Roses were supposed to be black, not red.  And who put 
these annoying vines everywhere?

	She roamed through the entire garden; its pure 
harmony of black and blacker had been stabbed with 
hundreds of green and red and yellow knives.  Her lovely 
thorn bushes were gone as well, replaced by pathetic 
pansies.  

	For a moment, she wondered if she would go down 
and find that Mr. Green Turtle was now a stuffed toy or 
something, and she held back from checking for fear that 
would come to pass.  

	Footsteps echoed behind her, and she spun, anger 
marring her face.  It was her idiot brother.  "Oniisan, 
did you do this?"  she asked.

	"No, the gardener did."

	"Have him killed," she demanded.

	"No.  Michiru-chan likes it."

	Kodachi's rage spiked briefly.  "Your precious 
fiancee.  Are you going to paint the house the color of her 
hair as well?"

	He blinked.  "What a wonderful suggestion.  Thank 
you, sister.  I'll have Sasuke look into the cost of that 
and see if he can find the right shade.  Nothing but a 
perfect match will do.  I will see you later."  He walked 
on past her, and she began banging her head against a 
tree.

*************

	"I don't think the teacher will let you quote 
_Yotoden_ on the exam, Ranma," Naru said.  She and 
Setsuna were seated next to each other on Shampoo's 
futon while Ranma was seated up against the wall.

	"I'm afraid it's not very historically accurate, 
especially the part about Nobunaga being possessed by 
demons," Setsuna said, laughing faintly.  "Although he did 
smell like it."

	Naru laughed.  "You talk like you met him."

	"Only briefly.  Oh...right.  It's just a joke, really."  
Setsuna slapped her forehead.  "Now, in China at this 
time, the Ming dynasty is breaking down, soon to be 
replaced by the..."

	The door flew open, and Rei stood in the door, 
almost on fire, like an avenging goddess.  Then, in 
seconds, she deflated to normality, and only a faint 
irritation in her voice spoke of her previous state.  
"Ranma, I can't help you if I can't FIND you."

	"I'm sorry," he said.  "We couldn't find you."

	"Yeah, we looked all over," Naru said.  "But 
Setsuna's helped us a lot."

	"Well, if you don't need me...," Rei turned to go.

	"Good bye," Setsuna said.

	"Well, I'm sure you know more about Shinto than 
Setsuna does," Ranma said, "And that's on the test too."

	She turned back.  "You want me to stay?"

	"Uh, isn't that what I said?"  He sounded genuinely 
baffled.

	"Okay, I'll stay then," she said.  She glanced over at 
Setsuna, "Don't you ever have any homework?"

	"Not until this transfer goes through.  And I could 
take a history test in my sleep," she said, grinning.  "It's 
my specialty, the way martial arts is for Ranma, or being 
a priestess is for you."

	"Or gemstones for me," Naru said.  "Mom's beat them 
into my head from since I could talk."

	"Oh yeah, you run a jewelry store, right?"  Ranma 
asked.

	"Uh huh."

	"Good.  You can help me out with some geology 
questions later," Ranma said.  "But let's get back to 
Toranaga."

	"Tokugawa," Rei and Setsuna said in unison, 
followed by Naru about a second behind them.

	"Whoever.  They're all dead old warlords, and if they 
weren't possessed, they're boring."

	A sentiment for the ages, indeed.

**************

	"So, what am I going to be doing for you?" Feldspar 
asked Tourmaline, who she found in Beryl's rock garden.  
It looked like the granite was wilting, unfortunately, 
which she thought was a pity, but the sandstone was 
coming along nicely.  Feldspar prayed her sister wouldn't 
make her do something like neatly stacking irregularly
shaped rocks, the way her mother had done once in an effort
to teach her patience.

	"Well, I should put you to work on the front lines, 
but you couldn't handle it; you'd probably gut the first 
customer.  So I'm going to put you in charge of security 
and being head bouncer.  Sometimes the customers DO 
need a little gutting."  And ideally, I can keep you from
doing anything to get yourself killed, Tourmaline thought.
I don't have enough family to afford to lose any of them.

	Tourmaline knelt by an outcropping of limestone.  
"Some fool has been watering the limestone again," she said, 
shaking her head.  "It's starting to look like a horse's head."

	"I can't believe you're running an operation like 
this!"  My sister the whore-master, Feldspar thought.  I can't
believe she'd stoop to something like that.  

	"I'm bringing in as much energy as the other four 
generals combined," Tourmaline said without looking up.  
"And it means that none of my youma die."  Her voice was a bit
pointed at the end.

	"I didn't mean to get them all killed, DAMMIT!"  
Feldspar kicked a pearl the size of a basketball, sending 
it crashing through a coral bush.  She felt very guilty,
but her culpability had pounded into her so hard, at the 
moment, all she could feel was anger about it.  When she 
was alone...then she'd sink into it again.

	"But you did.  And until you learn to think before 
you act, you'll leave a trail of more bodies behind you.  Is 
that what you want?"  Her voice was sharp.  "If you don't 
want to be part of my operation, I'll be happy to give you 
back to Jade-chan.  Of course, I had to talk him out of 
having you drawn and quartered.  One piece for each of 
the fallen.  If you weren't my sister, I'd have let him 
kill you for being such a complete fool!  I warned you this
was going to be a disaster!"  With effort, she restrained herself.
I went out on a limb to keep you from dying, she thought.  Now
you'd better not screw it up.

	"He's gotten more people killed than I have!"  
Feldspar knew she should shut up, but her anger was doing the 
talking. 

	"He also put down the invasion from Dimension X, 
trained hundreds of youma, and has yet to get anyone 
killed in a personal vendetta.  This is a war.  We expect 
people will die, but we expect they won't die in some 
crazed personal vengeance kick.  I'm going to teach you to 
control yourself, so that next time it isn't YOU who is 
dead.  Did you even THINK about the possibility that you 
might drag Dad down with you to be killed?"  She glared at
Feldspar, who wilted.

	"Now, are you willing to learn, or would you rather 
be given over to Beryl and Jadeite's tender mercies?  I 
don't want to see my sister die, but if you'd rather take 
chances with them than with family..."

	Feldspar shrank in on herself and sighed.  "Okay, I'll 
do it.  But I won't like it."  Mom wouldn't send me to a whore
house, she thought.  I can't believe she's letting Tourmaline 
DO this.

	"A large part of life is learning to do things we 
don't like but which have to be done."

**************

	Exhausted, Ranma slumped down into his sleeping 
bag.  The students had put him through his paces as much, 
and really more, than he'd put them through theirs.  That 
and dealing with having way too many women try to get a 
piece of his time.  It was flattering, but aggravating too.  
He'd actually been happy when Madoka had gotten lucky 
and kicked him in the head; at least one woman didn't 
want him for anything but teaching.

	The life of a handsome man is not an easy one, he 
thought.  I never listened to Pop when he said that, but 
that was because he wasn't very handsome.  Maybe when 
he had hair...naah.  No way.

	The tent flap opened.  It was Rei with two flasks of 
tea and some cookies.  He prayed she wasn't the one who 
made them.  Although she wasn't so bad as some cooks he 
knew.  "Hi," he said.

	"Hi.  I thought you'd want a snack after the students 
kept you so busy," she said.

	"Ya got that right," he said, sitting up and taking 
some cookies, then stuffed them in his mouth.  Crunch, 
crunch, yum.  "These are good."

	"Usagi's mom gave me the recipie," Rei replied.  

	"They're about five times better than your usual 
ones," Ranma said.  "No nausea either."

	Rei snorted.  "Would you rather have Usagi's 
cookies?"

	"Naah.  I like not being sick," he said, then ate two 
more and drank some tea.  "Thanks."

	She blinked, then smiled.  "Good luck on your test.  
You'll need it."

	"I can't see how Setsuna likes history so much.  It's 
boring as hell.  Nothing cool ever happens."

	Rei laughed and ate a cookie herself.  "Could have 
something to do with her being the Senshi of Time?"

	"Yeah, but I'm the Guardian of Time, and history 
bores me."

	"I guess your powers work differently."

	He nodded.  "Luna said I'd be able to speed up and 
slow down time.  I just have to figure out how.  And why 
I get stuck with that damn skirt when Ukyou gets pants 
in girl form!"

	"Nicer legs?" Rei asked teasingly.

	"Well, yeah, but...magic ain't supposed to care about 
your legs!"

	"Maybe it's because Ukyou was a guy when she was 
Diamond?"

	"But I was a guy too!"

	Rei ate another cookie to gain thinking time.  
"Probably an aspect of your curse."

	"Stupid curse.  I dunno where I'm gonna find an air 
mage to break it like the Fire said."

	Rei stared at her glass of tea.  "Well, I can think of 
one air mage."

	"W...Feldspar?"

	"Yes.  Although I doubt she'd help you."

	"I asked Setsuna, but she told me my curse makes 
me stronger.  But couldn't explain why.  I hate it when 
she clams up like that."

	"Do you...like her?"  Rei asked hesitantly.

	"Yeah, she's okay," Ranma said.

	"No, I mean, like...you know."

	"I ain't gonna go by whatever she and Ruby mighta 
done.  I ain't just Ruby 2:  The Revenge.  And I ain't 
marrying no one no how until I get out of high school.  Not 
you or Usagi or Ukyou or Setsuna or Naru or Shampoo or 
Megumi Hayashibara or nobody."

	"Megumi Hayashibara?"

	"Just some voice actress I met once.  Pop worships 
her."  Ranma shrugged.  "Pop's weird sometimes."

	"Do you miss him?"  Rei began cleaning up the tea 
flasks and the plate.

	"Sometimes.  I ain't used to sleeping alone.  
Although with Usagi sleeping out here a lot, I don't gotta 
do it all the time."

	Rei frowned.  "You shouldn't let her do that."

	"It ain't like we do nothing wrong.  It's just like 
having some guy pal sleeping over."  He frowned.  "We 
ain't, like, doing the wild thing or nothing."

	"I can't believe some teenage guy could say no to 
her."

	"I ain't no goat!  If you slept here, I wouldn't try to 
get in bed with you!"

	"Don't tell me you think of me as a guy!" Rei 
shouted.

	"I ain't said nothing like that!  You're definitely a 
girl!  Look, you don't believe me?  Sleep here and I'll show 
you!  I ain't no lech!"

	"Okay, I will!"

*********************

	o/~ Pandas must die o/~ blared the radio.  Ace 
Johnson yawned.  He'd been driving all night, but he was 
almost home, and he just didn't want to stop for 
anything, especially not a panda in the middle of the road.

	His eyes widened.  A panda in the middle of the 
road????

	He swerved and threw on the brakes, skidding past 
the panda, which began to amble towards the truck on its 
hind legs, which surprised him.  It was wearing a 
backpack and a 49ers hat, which surprised him more.

	It musta escaped from the zoo, he thought.  Maybe 
I'd get a reward if I took it back.  Yeah, that'd be nice.  He 
got out of the car and began trying to make come hither 
gestures.

	It came hither, then heard the song blaring from his 
speakers.  o/~ Pandas must die o/~.  Its face darkened 
and it charged at him.

	"No, nice panda!  Be good and I'll..."

	The last thing he saw was the panda roaring off 
down the highway in his truck.  Boss is gonna be pissed, 
he thought, then decided to just go pass out for a while.

*********

	Rei looked over at Ranma, who was fast asleep.  
Why am I doing this, she asked herself.  Other than 
because Usagi did it.  

	He looks so peaceful when he's asleep, she thought.  
And he was actually kinda nice to me while we were 
talking once I got settled in.  I wish my life had been that 
exciting.  Well, the better parts of the exciting.  And he's 
cute when he's asleep and can't say anything stupid.

	She laughed.  I guess I probably look better asleep 
for that reason myself sometimes.  

	I wonder if he likes me, she thought.  I mean, like...  
Do I like him?  He can be really nice, but then he can be a 
total jerk too.  But what's the real him?  Or are they both 
real somehow?  He does seem a lot better when no one is 
watching him, other than when he says something he 
thinks is a compliment, but isn't.  

	Ranma mumbled something.

	"What was that?" she asked softly.

	"Yeah, you can see the entire Rinda plain from here, 
Diamond," he murmured.

	She frowned.  I'm sleeping in the same tent with 
him and he's dreaming about UKYOU?  "Ranma no baka," 
she muttered.

	"Okay, I didn't mean to say 'ugly as Mars', Eowyn," 
he muttered.  "Don't set my feet on fire!  Jadeite, get your 
fiancee off me!"

	She blinked.  Eowyn...That was my name in the 
Silver Millenium.  And I was...engaged to JADEITE?  She 
was about to shake him awake, but then realized he 
wouldn't remember anything useful while awake.  She 
sighed and settled down to listen, but then his voice 
lulled her to sleep.

*********

	Ruby rubbed the bump on his head.  "Geez, she didn't 
have to hit me," he muttered.

	Pluto laughed gently.  "You need to learn to think 
before you speak, Ruby."

	Diamond looked down from the rock he was sitting 
on.  "He's been like that since his mother kicked him out 
of her womb."  He looked over at Jadeite and Eowyn, who 
were standing by the edge of the nearby cliff, looking out 
across the mountains.  "Of course, your mouth REALLY 
goes berserk around Eowyn.  Did she really throw you off 
the roof of the Moon Palace?"

	"I slipped," Ruby said, staring off at the sky.  "Well, 
we've taken a look at the butt ugly mountains.  Can we 
eat now?"  He heard Diamond and Pluto laughing and 
turned to them, but he couldn't see why.  "What's so 
funny?"

	"Nothing,"  Pluto said, smiling.  "Let me get the 
sandwiches."  She left to go back to the pile of stuff 
they'd hauled up to this little plateau.

	Ruby turned to Diamond.  "Remind me why I let 
Jadeite talk me into this little trip?"

	"I believe he likes the view from here.  And he was 
hoping you and Eowyn would be able to get along for 
once."

	"Hmm.  Maybe that's why he helped Eowyn beat me 
up."

	Diamond laughed so hard he fell off the rock.  "Good 
thing you're not in charge of understanding other human 
beings, Ruby."

	"Hey, I understand other human beings just FINE!"

	Pluto returned with three plates of food and three 
flasks of tea.  "Lunch is served."

	Jadeite and Eowyn returned a few seconds later.  
"What, eating without us?"  Jadeite asked with mock 
outrage.

	"I thought you two were still plotting how to throw 
Ruby off the cliff," Diamond replied, grinning.

	"Now there's a good idea," Eowyn said, giving Ruby a 
quick glare.

	"I'll go get us some food," Jadeite said to her, and 
headed over to the box of food.  

	Eowyn sat down next to Pluto.  "What do you see in 
gorilla boy here?"

	"I find his honesty refreshing," Pluto said.  "And 
yours as well.  Most nobles spend too much time veiling 
their true beliefs behind gentle words and lies.  I like 
being around people who aren't afraid to show what they 
feel."

	"Yeah, like when Ruby told me Eowyn looked pretty 
good that time he saw her swimming naked in the 
reflecting pool in the middle of the night, last time we 
visited the Moon Kingdom," Diamond said, smirking.

	Eowyn turned beet red and glared at Ruby.  "You 
said you wouldn't tell anyone!"

	Ruby laughed nervously.  "Well, Diamond sort of 
beat it out of me when I came back red as a tomato and 
stammering mindlessly.  I mean, you look very good naked 
and..."

	As another brawl erupted, Pluto turned to Diamond.  
"You're an evil man, you know."

	"Just doing my job to keep him honest."

*********

	Rei roused from her slumber.  Oh man, we feuded in 
our past life too?  She frowned.  Whatever reason Eowyn 
had to dislike him so much, she didn't want to repeat that 
mistake.  Feuds were pointless...but hard to resist 
sometimes.  

	I'm not going to do that, she decided.  Although if he 
doesn't learn to keep his mouth shut, holding to it is 
going to be hard.

	It had been strange...like she was riding inside his 
dream.  She hadn't been able to tell what her past self 
was thinking at all.  How'd I do that, anyway?  Maybe I 
just made up a dream, she thought.  It wasn't necessarily 
his.  I wonder if this happened to Usagi when she slept 
out here with him.  I wonder what he thinks about her.  

	She drifted off to sleep with that on her mind.

*********

	Ranma woke up and stared at the roof of his tent.  I 
keep dreaming about romantic moments spent with Pluto, 
he thought.  She is damn fine, but...I don't want to turn 
into my past self.  Not that he was bad, but I'm already 
struggling with my damn curse...I don't need to start 
remembering everything I did in my last life.  

	He sat and tried to think objectively.  Would I like 
Setsuna if I didn't have these memories popping into my 
head?  Well, I know I'd think she's good looking, but then, 
Ukyou, and Rei, and Usagi are all good looking.  Not as 
good looking as my girl body, but I'm just fine, dry or 
wet.  

	I'm tempted to go out with Usagi just because she 
didn't know me in my past life, he thought. Then again, 
Ukyou isn't just Diamond.  He couldn't have been in love with 
me, since we were both guys.  So this is different for 
her, this time.  Man, remembering being a guy must be 
weird for her.

	He looked over at Rei.  You're cute when you're not 
getting mad for some dumb reason, he thought.  And you 
don't want to kill me all the time like you did when you 
were Eowyn.  Which is good, or I'd be dead by now.  

	She was smiling in her sleep, and for a moment, 
Ranma wished she would smile at him like that when she 
was awake.  Then embarrassment at thinking mushy 
thoughts set in, and he rolled over to stare at the ceiling 
instead of her.  

	It didn't work.  Instead, he could feel himself 
getting mildly aroused.  Bad body, he thought.  Down boy.  
That didn't work either.

	He tried thinking about something else, like the 
time he'd gone to Thailand with his father and watched 
cranes at a temple, bobbing their heads up and down and...

	That wasn't much help either.  Then he heard 
footsteps outside.  If it's Setsuna, I'll scream, he 
thought.

	The footsteps approached, then went past the tent.  
His curiousity was aroused, so he wiggled out of his 
sleeping bag and stuck his head out.  It was Grandpa, who 
was wandering about aimlessly.

	Ranma headed over to him and said, "What's up, 
Gramps?"

	He started.  "You couldn't sleep either?"

	"Being annoyed by dreams."

	"Just try to not wake up Rei.  She gets mad if you 
wake her up in the middle of the night."

	Ranma started.  "You're not mad?"

	"Nothing happened, did it?"

	"Of course not!"

	"You're a good boy except for being vain and having 
a big mouth," Grandpa said.  "Oh, and being poorly 
educated and a little too violent.  But still..."

	"Hrmph."

	"I know you'll treat her right if you two don't kill 
each other first."

	"She's got a nasty temper."

	"And you've got a big mouth.  If you tried being nice 
to her, things would go much better."

	He shook his head.  "She'd just find some excuse to 
get mad."

	"Try it.  For just one day.  I think you'll be 
surprised."

	"Well, I guess it can't hurt.  I can keep my mouth 
shut for just one day."

	"Not just shut," Grandpa said, waggling a finger at 
Ranma.  "Say nice things to her.  Women love that."

	"She'll think I'm trying to mack on her."

	"Exactly."

	"She'll try and kick my ass!"

	"You'd be surprised."

*********

	Ranma was gone when Rei finally woke up for good 
in the morning, although she quickly found him; he was 
busy running through some katas out in the yard.  Usagi 
and Shampoo were there, doing the same thing.  The urge 
to tell him he was wasting precious time and was going 
to be late for school hit her.  She bit it back.  Be nice, she 
thought.  Be nice.  She walked over to him.  "Don't you 
have school today?"  It was the best she could manage.

	"Yeah.  I got up early and ate breakfast already.  I've 
been kinda slacking off too much on morning practice.  
Oh, and there's some food for you, but you'll need to warm 
it up."

	Usagi said, "I hope you'll like it.  It's a traditional 
Amazon breakfast."

	Rei blinked.  "You made it for me?"

	Usagi nodded.  "Ranma liked it."

	Rei took a deep breath, then let it out.  "Thank you."  
She turned to go, then turned back, "You free this 
afternoon, Ranma?"

	"Huh?  Yeah."

	"Good, good."  She smiled.  "I'll have a surprise for 
you."  She sprinted off into the house to get breakfast.

*********

	"I got a new bike!"  Haruka crowed.  She tossed a 
bag full of clothing on her bed.

	Ukyou looked up from her homework.  "Cool.  But I 
thought you couldn't afford another one?"

	"Corporate sponsorship.  Some American company 
run by a husband and wife team.  Jedediah and Maxine 
Stanton.   So now I have a snazzy new racing uniform and 
more money than I know what to do with.  You'd better 
come to my next big race."  

	"Of course.  We're going shopping this evening, 
right?"

	"Right."

**************	

	Ranma scratched his back idly as he sat at the 
kitchen table, trying to do his math homework.  Stupid 
algebra, he thought.  When am I ever gonna add letters 
together in real life?

	"Hey, Ranma, ready to go?"  Rei asked.

	"Go?  Go where?"  He turned around, then started.

	Rei had tied her hair back with a large red ribbon 
into a huge pony-tail, except for her bangs, which still 
ran wild and free.  A pair of sunglasses were pushed up 
on her forehead, and she was wearing a knee-length red 
skirt and a green short-sleeved blouse with a red 
unbuttoned vest over it.  She wore a silver necklace with 
a pendant shaped like the sign of Mars over that.  Her 
feet, clad in white socks, were nestled in simple red 
pumps.  "You'd been talking about how you want to see 
that Jackie Chan movie you missed while you were in 
China, so we're gonna go rent a copy and watch it."

	He blinked.  "I don't have any spare money left, 
though; I spent everything that isn't going into the 'Get 
Pop out of Hock' fund."

	"I'm gonna pay for it."  Rei said.  "So come on."

	He got up.  "Uh, thanks."

	She came over and took his hand, sending a 
paralyzing jolt through him.  "Too slow.  Come on!"

	Ranma soon knew what C-ko feels like on a regular 
basis.

**************

	Michiru had to admit Kunou had a few uses.  For 
example, he made an excellent carrier of packages.  She 
had a lot of shopping to do, so she was exploiting him as 
a walking luggage carrier.  

	They had just come out of Kei's Music Store when a 
yellow sports car zoomed by them.  It hit a large puddle 
and splashed a huge gout of muddy water all over 
Michiru's favorite teal dress.  It roared round the corner 
and into the nearby parking lot.  Michiru stared at the 
two joyriding teenagers in shock.  How utterly rude!  "My 
dress!"

	Kunou put down the packages and drew his bokken.  
"I shall avenge this insult against thee, my aqua haired 
maiden."  He charged down the street towards the parking 
lot.

	She started to tell him not to, then decided they 
deserved the thrashing they were about to get.  She tried 
to pick up the packages, only to have the stack collapse 
and fall on her, knocking her down.  This is not my day, 
she thought.

	Kunou reached the edge of the parking lot in time to 
see the two young men get out of the convertible and put 
the top up.  The taller one was long and blonde, handsome 
in a very bishonen way, while the shorter one had long 
black hair like a girl, and...a giant spatula?  For a 
moment, Kunou could only stare, as he had never seen 
such a huge spatula.  But no matter.  It's not the spatula, 
it's the strength of the warrior which counts.

	"Fie upon thee, varlets!  You have splashed my 
future wife with most foul fluids.  You will apologize to 
the fair Michiru or I shall thrash thee."

	"Oh great, some nutjob who hasn't realized the 
Shogunate is over.  Go make war on the Mongols, sword 
boy," the blond said.

	"I'll deal with this idiot," the dark haired one said, 
taking his giant spatula off his back.  "You wanna 
rumble?  I'll give you a fight.  Haruka, you go get the 
stuff on the list, okay?"

	"Right.  See ya in a bit, Ukyou."  Haruka walked on as 
Ukyou and Kunou started going at in the parking lot.  
Soon, Haruka came to where Michiru was lying on the 
ground, covered with boxes and feeling frustrated, trying 
to muster the willpower to get back up.  "Is that some 
kind of fashion statement?"

	Michiru stared at the rude man, wondering why she 
felt like she'd met him before.  "No!  If you were a 
gentleman, you'd help me up."

	"I've never been much of a gentleman.  Sending your 
boyfriend to beat people up for an accident isn't very 
nice, so I think I'll let you pick yourself up.  Have fun."  
Haruka headed off to the first store on the list, 
wondering why the woman seemed familiar.

***********

	Ukyou gave ground as Kunou pressed his assault, 
and she hoped his heavy stomping wouldn't put too many 
dents in the roof of the van they were now on top of.  She 
feinted low, and forced him to jump to avoid the attack 
he assumed would follow, then she brought the spatula 
around at chest level and batted him halfway across the 
parking lot onto a red convertible.  The roof of it 
crumpled and tore just as a dark haired fellow 
approached it.  "MY CAR!" he shouted.

	She leaped off the roof.  "Sorry about that!  Just 
defending myself."

	"My car!  You...Kunou-san?"  He stared at Kunou.  "What's 
going on?  Where's Michiru?  Who's this maniac?"

	Ukyou growled.  "I am not a maniac!  He attacked me 
first!"

	Kunou flipped out of the car and assumed a fighting 
stance.  "I will recompense you for your car, Chiba-san.  
I'm afraid this varlet and his cowardly friend had the 
audacity to splash dirty water all over the fair Michiru."

	Chiba frowned intensely.  "That wasn't very nice.  
And now you wrecked my car's roof!  You're gonna pay for 
that."

	"No way!"  Ukyou shouted.  "I'm just defending 
myself."

	"Have at ye!"  Kunou charged, assuming the 'sword 
over the head so I can be wide open' position.

	Ukyou stood and waited, then stepped to one side to 
whack him as he went by.  To her shock, he brought the 
sword down at an angle as he passed, striking her 
spatula, which broke in half.  Dammit, not another one, 
she thought, and then the air pressure from the blow sent 
her crashing into a truck.  She fell down on her butt and 
drew two mini-spatulas.  "You bastard!  Those things are 
expensive!"

	"So was my car roof!"  Mamoru shouted.

	"Surrender, or I shall thrash thee a second time."  
Kunou pointed his bokken at Ukyou.  "For I am Kunou 
Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"  A bolt of 
lightning struck down behind him.  Right where Mamoru 
was standing.

	Mamoru yelped and quietly collapsed.

	"Nice trick," Ukyou said.  "Too bad you hit your 
friend instead of me."

	"Hah!  You can't trick..."  He looked back.  "Oops."

	Ukyou launched herself at Kunou in that moment, 
driving her two mini-spats into his bokken, chopping it 
into three pieces.  "Now we're even," she said.

	"A true samurai cannot be disarmed, for his weapon 
is his noble heart."

	"Yeah, yeah.  Give it up.  All you've got now is a 
broken stick."

	He stepped back and got into a iajutsu position, 
sliding the remains of his bokken into the loop that 
normally held it.  "We shall see."

	Mamoru mumbled something.

	Haruka returned with a pile of stuff.  "Geez, still 
fighting this idiot?"

	Ukyou got into a fighting stance, then said, "I'm 
ready."

	"Go."  

	She hurled her two mini-spatulas to pin his 
voluminous sleeves to the car he was standing next two, 
and drew two more in case those missed.  Kunou simply 
drew his hilt and hurled it at her forehead, catching her 
by surprise.  

	For a moment, she simply stared at him, then she 
crumpled, stunned.

	"You bastard!"  Haruka shouted, and charged at 
Kunou.  "Nobody beats the hell out of my roomie!  
Especially when it wasn't Ukyou's fault!  You wanna 
fight?  I'll give you a fight!"

	"I shall give you the thrashing you...urk..."  Kunou 
took a roundhouse kick in the gut, followed by an elbow 
smash to the head and having his legs hooked.  He fell 
down and Haruka put a foot on his throat.  "Not so tough 
without your sword, EH?"

	She heard a trunk pop open, and then a quart of 
motor oil, 10W40 if she recognized the smell correctly, 
flew through the air and smacked into her head.  The cap 
popped off, and it poured all over her.  

	Then Mamoru leveled a tire iron at her.  "I have had 
ENOUGH of this!  I don't know what's going on, but he's the 
only man who can afford to fix my car, and while he's not 
too bright, I doubt he would have attacked you for fun!"  
Even if he did...surely he couldn't have really drawn down 
that lightning bolt, Mamoru thought.  "Get the hell out of 
here, or I'll beat you down."

	Haruka frowned and began to retreat, studying her 
environment to look for something she could use as a 
weapon.

	At this point, Michiru and two mobile piles of 
packages with legs came into view.  "What on earth 
is...What happened to Tatewaki, Mamoru-san?"

	He stared at her, then frowned deeply.  "I see what 
happened.  These two did this to you?"

	"I didn't catch their faces, but there's the car."  She 
pointed to a yellow convertible.  

	"It was an accident!"  Haruka shouted.  "And it's not 
like we came and beat the crap out of you like your 
boyfriends are trying to do to us!"

	Michiru blushed.  "They're not my boyfriends."

	Kunou sat up and said, "She is my future wife!"

	Ranma stuck his head out from behind one of the 
piles of packages.  "That you, Haruka?"

	Haruka blinked.  "What the hell are you doing here, 
Ranma?  Carrying packages for the prissy bitch?"

	Michiru turned beet red.  "I'm not a prissy bitch, you 
rude-mouthed punk!"

	Rei stuck her head out, "We were just trying to help 
her out since she needed help.  What on earth is going 
on?"

	Ranma saw Ukyou still sprawled out on the ground, 
and his face darkened.  "Who did that?"

	"The moron who thinks he's a samurai," Haruka said.  
"While his punk friend poured this damn motor oil on me!"  
She tried to wipe it off onto the hood of Mamoru's car.

	Michiru sighed.  "Let's just go.  Fighting won't 
settle anything."

	"But...my car!"  Mamoru said.  "They smashed the 
roof!"

	"They look too poor to pay for it."  

	"Poor?  POOR!  Yeah, I may not be able to buy myself 
lovers, but I'm not THAT poor!"  Haruka said.  "I'll have 
you know that I'm a famous racer!  And I've got corporate 
sponsorship too!"

	Ranma put down the presents and went over to 
Ukyou.  "C'mon, get up, Ucchan."

	"Famous racer?  Hah!  I bet Mamoru could outrace 
you with him on a bicycle and you in a race car!"

	Mamoru looked a bit nervous.  "Umm...I'm not that 
good."

	"Indeed.  Any servant of the Kunou family is worth 
five peasants off the street.  And taking service with 
merchants is degrading indeed."

	Haruka ground her teeth.  "You want a bet?  Okay, 
here's a bet!  This Saturday, we'll have a race.  Me versus 
Mamoru.  Losing party pays the track rental fee and pays 
to fix all damages from this fight.  That sound fair?"

	"Done."  Kunou said.  "You will be destroyed by the 
wrath of those who serve the house of Kunou, varlet!"

	Mamoru tried to speak, but everyone simply talked 
past him, beginning to set the details of the match.  

	Ukyou groggily got up with Ranma's help.  "Do I have 
a bruise on my forehead?"

	"Yes," Rei said.  She'd come over as well.

	Ukyou looked blearily at Rei.  "Are you dressed up, 
or am I imagining things?"

	"Well, sorta dressed up."  Rei glanced over at 
Ranma, who was simply wearing black pants and a blue t-
shirt.  "We went to the video store."

	"Since when were you triplets?"  Ukyou asked, 
shaking her head.

	"Oh man, what'd he do to you?"  Ranma asked.

	"Just joking," she said.  "But my head is still 
ringing.  He nailed me by throwing his hilt.  Nice trick.  
Won't catch me next time," she said confidently. 

	"You wanna come watch the movies we got with 
us?"  Ranma asked, not seeing Rei frown behind him.

	Ukyou didn't notice that either.  "Naah, I had better 
go home and get cleaned up and help poor Haruka get 
clean.  Man, that motor oil is gonna be a pain to get out.  
But thanks for asking, Ranchan.  Next time, okay?"

	"Okay."

	Haruka and Ukyou gave Ranma and Rei a ride back to 
the temple so they didn't have to catch the bus.  As they 
roared off, Rei turned thoughtfully to Ranma.  "Haruka's a 
guy, right?"

	"Right."

	"And Ukyou's roommate, right?"

	"Right."

	Rei looked meaningfully at Ranma, who stared back 
blankly, then various things hit him.  "Oh man, you 
think..."

	"Going to 'help him clean himself up'?"

	Ranma's jaw dropped.  "You think...?"

	"He is very cute, though not as cute as that Mamoru 
guy.  Now HE was seriously good looking.  If he was a 
little younger, I'd have tried asking him out.  Heck, if we 
weren't now one side of a feud with him..."  She suddenly 
realized who she was speaking to and flushed slightly.  
"Umm, I mean..."

	Ranma started to make a crack, and remembered 
what Grandpa had told him.  One day, he told himself.  She 
has been really nice so far.   "Next time I say some girl is 
cute, you don't get to say nothing."

	"Fair's fair," she said.  "Let's go watch our movies, 
okay?"

	"Okay," he said.

*************

	Michiru fumed as Mamoru took her home.  They'd 
already dropped off Kunou, and she'd suffered through him 
trying to kiss her.  Luckily, Kunou was easily 
distractible.  She'd pointed to a bush and asked if that 
was Tokugawa, then Mamoru had pulled out while he was 
looking.  "What a wretched day this has been," she said, 
staring out into traffic as they roared along.

	"I know.  At least my car didn't just vanish like my 
motorcycle did."

	She blinked.  "It vanished?"

	"Yeah.  I have no clue what happened to it.  Stolen, I 
guess."

	"I'm sorry you got dragged into this."

	"Well, Kunou has no car, so I've done this sort of 
thing for him a few times."

	She nodded.  "Well, you'll need one for this race, so 
I'll buy you one.  Then we'll crush that blond punk."

	"Do I get a scarf to tie to my lance?" he asked, 
laughing.

	"I'll find you one to tie to the antenna or something.  
I never thought someone could irritate me more 
than...well, this guy takes the cake.  He'll regret what 
he's done."  Her voice was cold, and it made Mamoru 
shiver a little. 

	Remind me not to ever make her angry, he thought.

*************

	Ranma plunked down in the middle of the couch 
while Rei put the first tape in.  She tried to decide where 
to sit; he was posed just right that it would be hard not 
to sit fairly close to him.  She finally just went over and 
plopped down to the right of him.  She wasn't feeling 
entirely opposed to sitting close to him.  

	The tape started, and Ranma fast forwarded 
through the previews, and then the 'And now for our feature 
presentation...' came up.  The movie was City Hunter 
Meets Supercop.  Not quite Rei's thing, but she'd give it a 
try; she did like Jackie Chan more than the average 
action movie hero.

	Despite being a weird blend of animation and live 
action, she soon found herself enjoying it, though not as 
much as Ranma, who constantly talked to the screen and 
gave the characters fighting pointers.  "No, the third 
rung!" he shouted at one point, but Jackie didn't listen and 
took a fall.

	Rei laughed.  "He can't hear you."

	"Too bad for him," Ranma said.  "He wouldn't have 
gotten hit if he'd listened to me."  He leaned forward and 
shook his fist at the screen.  "Cheap shot!  Cheap shot!"

	Rei giggled.  "Grab the towel rack!"  Her command 
came true.  "I guess it just needs the feminine touch."

	Ranma cocked an eyebrow at her.  "You seen this 
before?"

	"Nope."

	"Beginners' luck, then."

	She laughed some more.  "No, just skill."

	Then Jackie and Ryo had to try to escape from a 
burning building on a window washer's trolley, and things 
became too intense for them to do anything but stare in 
rapt attention.  Well, and shout commands at the screen.

*************

	Usagi and Naru sat on Naru's roof.  "Wow, you really 
can see a long ways from here!"  Naru said.  "I just hope I 
don't fall off."

	"I'll catch you if you start to slip," Usagi said.  "It's 
perfectly safe."

	"It's so weird, having you come back like you did," 
Naru said, laying down on her back and watching the 
clouds.  "And your family turned into talking cats.  That's 
seriously weird, ya know?"

	"It's a lot weirder than that in the Amazon village," 
Usagi said, doing the same thing.  "Elders who sometimes 
look like Muppets.  All sorts of funky cursed people 
wandering around.  Magical items out the wazoo.  Chinese 
people speaking Greek to each other and worshipping 
Athena.  Duels and tournaments and quests and all.  It's 
like another world.  Everything in Japan seems strange to 
me now, I've been gone so long.  It's like discovering a 
dream I had was true."

	"Can you do any magic?"

	"Depends on if you count how strong I am and how 
far I can jump.  Or what I can do with my discuses.  
Ranma's the magic one."

	"He is?  What kind of magic does he do?"

	Usagi suddenly realized Naru didn't know about 
Ranma's curse.  Or him being the Guardian of Saturn.  Me 
and my big mouth, she thought.  Well, telling the curse 
won't hurt.  I hope.  "He turns into a woman when he gets 
wet."

	"No way!"

	"Yes way.  A very cute redhead."

	Several things suddenly clicked into place.  "Does 
he call himself Eiko when he's like that?"

	"Not that I know of."

	Naru frowned.  Something funny was going on, and 
she wasn't laughing.

**********

	"Wow, your house is really fancy!"  Naoko said to 
Ami.

	Ami smiled and took Naoko through the living room 
towards the stairs.  "Mom and Dad have way too much 
money.  Even if they are divorced. It's just me and Mom 
here now.  So what do your parents do for a living?"

	"Mom's a scientist.  Dad is dead."  She sighed and 
shrank in on herself a tiny bit more.

	Ami shook her head unconsciously.  I never thought 
I'd meet someone shyer than me, she thought.  "What kind 
of scientist?"

	"Physics," Naoko said, then paused at the base of 
the stairs where there was a bust.  "Oh wow, Madame 
Curie."

	"Yes.  Mom gave it to me for my fourteenth 
birthday."  Ami started up the stairs.

	Then Hurricane Kasumi roared down the stairs.  "I'm 
late!  I'm late!"  She was wearing a blue sundress with 
her hair bound up with a blue ribbon.  

	Ami and Naoko dived out of the way.  Ami said, 
"Late to what?"

	Kasumi screeched to a halt.  "To...uh..."  she 
scratched her head.  "Oh great, now I can't remember 
where I'm going!"

	Naoko bowed to her.  "I'm Kikubi Naoko.  Nice to 
meet you."  Her voice wavered slightly, though Kasumi 
was not looking very scary today.

	Kasumi stared at her with a strange feeling of deja 
vu.  She bowed back.  "Tendo Kasumi.  I'm Ami's cousin."

	"You're very pretty," Naoko said hesitantly.  "I wish 
I could look like you."

	Kasumi looked her up and down.  "You shouldn't put 
yourself down.  You're in pretty good shape, and you've 
got nice hair, although maybe you should let it grow out a 
little.  The library!  That's where I'm going!"  She turned 
and sprinted off.

	Ami and Naoko looked at each other.  "Doesn't the 
library stay open until midnight?"  Naoko asked Ami.

	"Last I knew it did.  Maybe she's just confused."

************

	Movie two had begun.  Ranma watched this one 
quietly, trying desperately to not fall asleep.  It was 
called 'The Drainage Gullies of Madison County', or some 
such thing, and seemed to be a paean to adultery as far as 
he could tell.  He kept asking himself when Clint 
Eastwood was going to draw his gun and shoot someone, 
but it just kept not happening.  You failed me, Clint, he 
thought.  How could a Clint Eastwood movie possibly be 
this bad?  This is worse than when Pop and I camped out 
in a 24 hour Ishtar marathon so we could sleep there 
cheaply.

	Rei, on the other hand, was eating it up, he could 
tell.  She was silent because she was paying attention, 
rather than because her eyes were trying to shut down to 
save her brain.  She was so rapt that she didn't even 
notice herself slump over and lean against Ranma.

	That woke Ranma up.  His adrenalin glands went 
berserk, and he suddenly became hyperaware of his 
environment.  Did she mean to do that? he asked himself.  
Or was she just starting to pass out like him?  Maybe she 
sleeps with her eyes open, he told himself.  Or maybe 
she's possessed.  Or maybe...

	Maybe she's trying to be romantic.  Maybe that was 
the idea behind this whole thing...could it have been a 
date?  He thought about the movie; it did seem like a kind 
of date flick.  He'd assumed it must be an action film 
when he saw Clint Eastwood's name on the box; he'd been 
looking forward to seeing Meryl Streep kick ass too.  
THAT would have gotten her another Academy Award, he 
was sure.

	He could see his arm, which was starting to come 
around to rest on her shoulders, and all he could do was 
stare like a victim in a horror movie watching Jason 
close in.  He tried telling it to stop, but it wouldn't 
listen.  It just.  Kept.  Moving.  

	Stop before she gets the wrong idea like I wanna 
marry her!  he told his arm.  I mean, she can be kinda nice 
and I do like her, but like you hug a girl and they get the 
wrong idea sometimes and if Usagi walks in she'll kill us 
and maybe Setsuna will predict this and save me, but 
then she'll want to marry me on the spot and...

	Ranma's brain sank into chaos as the arm came to 
rest on her shoulders.  She snuggled a little closer, and 
he became utterly paralytic, incapable of anything but 
breathing and experiencing the most intense terror of his 
entire life.

	The movie saved him.  It was such a powerful 
sedative that slowly it calmed him, stripping away his 
fear.  He leaned a little closer to her, enjoying the 
warmth of her body and her presence.  Maybe Grandpa was 
right about being nice to her.  Although this is probably 
gonna get me way in further than I wanna go.  I just ain't 
ready for no steady girlfriend, especially not with my 
pack of wolves after me.  I wish I could just...just 
something.

	He slowly slumped over, and sleep took him.

**************

	"So, her family just...vanished?"  Naoko asked Ami.  
She was seated on Ami's bed, while Ami was at her 
computer with her computer chair turned around.

	"Yes," Ami said.  "The Dojo burned down, but no 
bodies were found.  So Kasumi began training to avenge 
their deaths."

	"Is she sure they're dead?"  Naoko asked.

	"They must be," Ami said.  She thought in silence
about the man she had seen, who looked like her uncle.
"I wonder now, sometimes, if the Dark Kingdom got them, 
and how long the Dark Kingdom's been operating in the shadows."

	Naoko picked up one of Ami's teddy bears and 
hugged it.  "Too long.  We have to stop them before they 
render the Earth a burnt out shell like they did to all the 
other planets.  Before they can free the Seven Scourges 
again."

	"So how did you learn you were Prudence of the 
Seven Thunders?"  Ami asked.

	"I started having dreams.  And then they hired a 
new mens' tennis coach at Torio after the old one got 
fired for having an affair with a student."  She shook her 
head.  "That really surprised us.  But the mens' team 
started getting weird.  They all played really 
aggressively, but they were tired and cranky all the time 
off the court.  Finally, Momoi-sensei confronted him, and 
he turned into a monster!  The whole boys' team turned 
into monsters too.  And I heard this little voice in my 
head telling me I had the power to stop him."

	"I was scared out of my mind.  But then I saw he 
was about to hurt Momoi-sensei, and I just...I just 
couldn't let him hurt her.  She's such a nice teacher.  And 
so I transformed, and beat him up with my lightning, and 
he ran away.  All the students turned back to normal, and 
that's how I learned who I was.  And I've had some 
memory dreams since then."  She clutched the teddy bear 
tightly for a few seconds, then let go of him.  

	"Well, I'm glad to have you with us," Ami said.  

	"So, how did you become Sailor Mercury?"

	Ami launched into an explanation of how her cram 
school had been a Dark Kingdom scam and how Luna had 
found her and given her a transformation pen.

************

	Rei stared mindlessly at the screen.  I cannot 
BELIEVE what she's doing!  After everything...I mean, I 
guess not abandoning your husband and child is a good 
thing, but still...c'mon, it's Clint Eastwood!  Why didn't he 
just shoot her husband?  Okay, that would be evil, 
but...aaargh!  She ground her teeth in frustration, and the 
credits rolled.
	
	With that, she resumed awareness of her 
environment.  This included realizing that Ranma was 
cuddled up to her.  It felt kinda nice being held like that.  
On the other hand, she had absolutely NO clue what to do 
next.  
	
	Should I say something?  Should I rewind the 
movie?  Did he like it?  Did he hate it?  Why is he being 
so quiet?  Rei's brain went into overdrive question mode.

	She glanced over at him, and saw he was asleep, 
smiling as he slumbered.  Is he smiling because he's with 
me, she wondered.  Maybe he does like me.  He didn't even 
complain about the movie or anything.  Maybe he likes 
movies like...no, he wouldn't have fallen asleep.  Or is he 
really tired from something?  

	It was then that Shingo-neko sprinted into the 
room and leaped up into Ranma's lap.  "I'm bored!  Play 
with me!"

	Ranma started awake.  "Hey, I was sleeping, ya 
know!"

	Shingo looked at the two of them.  "Making out on 
the couch?"

	Ranma and Rei suddenly turned beet red, and a 
second later, they were both at opposite ends of the 
couch with Shingo-neko in the middle.  "No!" they both 
announced.

	"Just sleeping together, then?" Shingo-neko asked, 
smirking.

	"NO!" they shouted in unison again.

	"You wouldn't get so mad if it wasn't true."

	"It ain't true!"  Ranma shouted.  

	Usagi walked in.  "I'm home!  What isn't true?"

	"I caught them making out on the couch," Shingo-
neko said.  "Now they're claiming it's not true."

	Usagi's eyes bulged for a moment.  "You two were 
making out?"

	"No!  We were just watching a movie!"  Rei said.  "I 
wanted to make up to Ranma for him having to sleep in a 
tent while YOU steal his room."

	"I'd be happy to let him sleep in the room with me 
while Shampoo takes the tent," Usagi said, although she 
blushed a little.

	"You two were cuddled awfully close for just 
watching a movie," Shingo-neko said.

	"We were not cuddled!"  Ranma said.  "I just fell 
asleep and slumped over and Rei was too distracted to 
notice!"

	"Yeah!  I was too busy watching the movie."

	Usagi and Shingo-neko looked at each other, then 
nodded in unison.  They both said, "Liars."

	"I am not lying!"  Ranma said.  "I ain't never cuddled 
up to no one nohow!  And I'd never cuddle up to..." He 
caught himself, much to his surprise, and tried 
desperately to find a nicer way to say it.  "She'd beat me 
up if I did."

	"Yeah!  Just 'cause we're engaged doesn't mean we'd 
WANT to do something like that!"  Rei asserted.  

	Usagi looked at her and shook her head.  "You can't 
lie worth squat, Rei."

	"Well, she's not much worse at lying than you, 
Usagi," Shingo-neko said.

	Usagi stuck out her tongue at Shingo, then turned to 
Rei.  "So you wouldn't mind if I cuddle up to him for a 
while?"

	"Hell no!  He's my fiancee!  You can't cuddle up to 
him!"

	"So, you won't cuddle with him, and no one else can 
either?"

	"He doesn't want you to cuddle up to him!"

	Usagi turned to Ranma.  "Mind if I drag you off for 
some cuddling?"

	"I...uh...you...cuddle...me?"  Ranma's brain began to 
short circuit.  He could smell an approaching beating, and 
he was torn between not minding cuddling, hormones, not 
wanting to hurt Rei, not wanting Rei to hurt him, not 
wanting Usagi to get the wrong idea about their 
relationship, and not quite knowing what their 
relationship was.  "Ur...uh...we...uh..."

	Rei's eyes narrowed.  Say yes or no, she willed at 
him.  Let me know what you really think.  Which one of us 
do you really want?  Or is it neither of us?  For a 
moment, she felt a stab of fear that he would end up with 
Setsuna, unable to resist his past.   And a greater stab of 
fear that somehow Jadeite would use his old relationship 
with her past self to get a handle on her.  

	Ranma proceded to bolt through the door and out of 
sight. 

	Usagi blinked.

	Rei sighed and set the VCR to rewind with the 
remote control.  Well, it was fun while it lasted, she 
thought.  "I think you can take that as a no."

	"So, were you making out?"

	"No!  We were just watching a movie!"

	"So, did you have fun sleeping with him last night?"  
Her voice was remarkably cheery.

	"I did not!"

	"I saw you come out of his tent," Usagi said, 
shaking her head.  "You are a bad liar.  So why are you so 
determined to pretend you don't like him?"

	"Because my last lover BETRAYED ME AND HELPED 
KILL ME!"  Rei shouted, then suddenly clapped  a hand to 
her mouth and shuddered.  That had just slipped out from 
deep inside.  I wonder if this happens to Ami and Ranma, 
she thought.  

	Usagi blinked.  "You don't look dead."

	Shingo-neko began to laugh, until Rei smacked him 
with the remote control, sending him bolting off to the 
corner.  

	"I didn't even...I didn't remember until just now.  
The last thing Eowyn saw was Jadeite, her fiancee, 
frying Mercury to ash.  And then one of Zoicite's knives 
went through her throat.  They killed us."  She sat down 
and shook.  "They butchered their own lovers because 
Beryl told them to.  I was the last to fall, and I saw 
Princess Serenity rising into the sky, and I couldn't save 
her, even though she meant everything to me.  Endymion 
was being pulled into the sky as well, and the Seven 
Shadows were tearing the palace apart."

	She began to cry as she continued.  "And then, just 
as Zoicite's knives pierced my throat, I had my last 
vision.  The Conquering Worm was free on Mars, and the 
Five Phoenixes were battling him.  Four of them had 
fallen, and only Sylph remained.  As I watched, she flew 
into his mouth and detonated her nova attack.  He fell 
over, and his manifestation body fell apart...into hundreds 
of silver slugs which burrowed into the earth.  I knew 
them...they would grow up into lesser worms, and slowly 
devastate Mars, turning it back into a desert.  And he 
himself would return to his tomb, to wait to be reborn 
once more when his strength returned.  As I felt my own 
death taking place, I saw the doom of my world."  

	And two strong arms wrapped around her, and Usagi 
whispered into her ear, "It's okay to cry, Rei.  I'd cry too 
if I saw something like that."

	"They're out there...the Seven Scourges, straining at 
their leashes, trying to break free.  The Red Death.  The 
Shadow King.  The Conquering Worm.  The Twister of 
Dreams.  The Eater of Souls.  The Death Phantom.  And 
Metallia, the Gemstone Queen.  Beryl served Metallia, and 
helped them all.  She...we..."

	"Don't be afraid.  I know you'll be able to stop her.  
And I know Ranma won't betray you.  Drive you nuts 
maybe, but he won't betray you."  Her voice was soft and 
soothing and reminded Rei of how Princess Serenity had 
been, always able to draw her out of a funk.  

	She sat and let Usagi talk to her quietly and 
soothingly, slowly relaxing.  The memory faded, and her 
peace returned to her.  Finally, she quietly said, "Thank 
you."

	"Good.  You feel better?"

	"Yes."

	Usagi let go of her.  "Cool.  Now I can go find Ranma 
and make out with him for a while."

	"Hey!"

	Usagi giggled.  "You can't stop me if you can't catch 
me!"

	The chase began.

*************

	"So, how are we going to find Jadeite to beat him, 
since we can't get into his universe?"  Naoko asked Ami.

	"We'll have to trap him the next time we find him.  
My computer is running a search for him and Feldspar, but 
it's not having any luck."  Ami sighed. "Still, he'll show up 
sooner or later.  He always does."

	Naoko nodded.  "I wish I had someone to train me 
like you guys do with Luna."

	"Well, I'm sure we can find some way to help you 
some.  I just wish I had a power that can actually hurt 
the monsters, not just make bubbles."

	Naoko shook her head.  "You do have a power.  
Knowledge is power, and that's what your computer and 
visor give you.  Two ounces of force will beat ten pounds 
of it if you apply it in the right location.  Mercury was 
the trickster who beat his foes with his brain.  That's 
your real weapon."

	Ami smiled.  "Thanks, Naoko."

	Naoko smiled back shyly.  "You're welcome." 

**************

	Feldspar, dressed as an ordinary human in a denim 
jacket, blue jeans, and a 'Mr. T vs. the Cybermen' t-shirt, 
sat on a stool just behind 'Margaret', the blonde bimbo 
who acted as the receptionist on Tuesday through 
Thursday, and as one of the 'companions'  on Mondays and 
Fridays.  She wasn't sure what was worse:  being called 
'Ms. T', wearing the horrible clothing Tourmaline supplied 
her with, listening to Margaret ramble on and on about 
nothing, or knowing she, a reborn noblewoman of the 
Crystal Kingdom, was reduced to being a bouncer for a 
combined brothel and love hotel.  At least I talked her out 
of making me wear all those gold chains, she thought.
My sister can be a pain in the...  She sighed.  But I am
better off in her hands than...I screwed up, she thought, 
and stared off at the wall, wishing it held answers for her
life.

	There was a loud pitched howl from one of the 
upstairs rooms.  Feldspar interrupted Margaret's never-
ending monologue about her favorite TV shows to ask, 
"Good or bad?"

	Feldspar had trained herself to ask that after four 
incidents of hearing screaming, assuming a customer had 
gotten out of hand, running and breaking the door down, 
only to discover it was one of the far too many 
companions who screamed when she experienced enough 
pleasure.  Or a customer who did likewise.  

	"It's just that bitch Jinny," Margaret said.  "You 
know how she is.  So, you're Madame Takako's sister?  
You don't look much like her."

	"Yes," Feldspar said, sighing.  "I owe her, so I got 
stuck with this job."  Which beats dying, but it's so...so...
I wish I'd been given to Mom. I'd rather be helping her with her
labwork, even if it bores me, than...this.

	"Well, we almost never have trouble here, so I'm 
sure you'll probably be bored a lot.  Luckily for you, we've 
got some good games you can play on the appointment 
computer."  She grinned at Feldspar.  "Including this 
fighting game that was on it when we bought it at the 
garage sale.  Wanna take me on?"

	Feldspar stared mindlessly for a few seconds, then 
smiled.  Finally, something that won't entirely stink 
about this job.  "Sure.  Beats listening to people moan."

	"Oh, you learn to tune out the moaning," Margaret 
said, digging out two joysticks from under the reception 
desk and plugging them in.  "Let's rumble!"

	Five games later, Feldspar had lost four times.  
"This isn't anything like real fighting!"

	"Okay, I'll play someone other than Dan Hibiki, so 
it'll be easier on you, okay?"

	"Okay."  Feldspar gritted her teeth.  I will triumph 
this time, she thought.  I can't let a...  She looked over at 
Margaret, who was smiling at her.  

	"You really take this seriously," she said.

	"Where I come from, if you don't take everything 
seriously, you get in trouble when you screw up."

	"Ya gotta learn to relax, or you'll have a heart 
attack by the time you're forty," Margaret said.  "Just 
like my dad did.  I'd hate to see you work yourself to 
death."

	"Why would you care?"

	"I like people.  That's why I went into this line of 
work.  Well, also because I flunked my college exam 
because Dad had just died, and I couldn't think straight," 
she said.  "But I think of myself as a therapist.  There's a 
lot of guys who come to me to get things they can't get 
anywhere else.  If I can make them feel a little better 
about themselves by the time they leave, I feel better 
about myself."

	"..."

	"And I've been working on learning massage therapy 
for when I get too old to really keep up this line of work.  
A lot of the same principles, really."  She grinned at 
Feldspar.  "So, Ms. T, ready for another beating?"

	"Bring it on!"  Feldspar smiled back, liking the 
woman despite herself.  She's not bad for a human.  
Hmm...I wonder if she could be like we were...one of the 
sleepers?  I'll have to ask Tourmaline about that.

	The final score was Margaret 58, Ms. T 4.  

**************

	Ken blinked when he heard a knock on his window 
since he lived on the fourth floor of a six story 
dormitory.  He ambled over and saw Ranma on the 
windowsill.  He opened the window and let him in.  "You 
coulda used the stairs, you know."  He went over and sat 
down on his bed and gestured to his desk, which Ranma 
perched on.  

	"I was in a hurry.  And the Dorm Lady wouldn't let 
me in."  Ranma rolled his eyes.  "I used ta live here.  She 
must be getting senile."

	"So what brings you over this late?"  Ken asked.  
"They finally toss you out or something?"

	"I dunno what to do about all these women," Ranma 
said.  "I mean, I like 'em, but I ain't ready to marry any of 
them, ya know?  And now my arm is getting stupid ideas 
that are gonna get me killed."

	"Can we try that again in more detail?"

	Ranma explained the whole situation as best he 
could without mentioning anything secret.  When he 
finished, Ken said, "Can I have the Amazon if you take 
Rei?"

	Ranma laughed.  "You have to defeat her in combat 
first."

	"Could I challenge her to one-on-one soccer?"

	"Probably not."

	"Damn."  He stroked his chin, where he was trying 
to grow a beard despite the pathetic state of his stubble 
and the fact that his teachers would make him shave the 
second they noticed it.  "And you don't know which one 
you like?"

	"I like 'em all, but I ain't, like, madly in love with 
any of 'em.  That I can tell.  I don't want to turn any of 
them into enemies or nothin', but I dunno how to get any 
of them to back off on me."  Ranma sighed.

	"Hmm.  But none of them make you feel really 
special?  You don't want to like rip off any of them's 
clothing or hold their hand all night or whatever?"

	"Well, they're all cute enough to sleep with," Ranma 
said.  "But I ain't the kinda guy to screw around with a 
bunch of women at once.  Unless they didn't mind, but I'm 
pretty sure they would.  I did have a dream about seeing 
Rei naked.  She looked pretty damn good."  He narrowed 
his eyes.  "If you tell her I said that, I'll kill you."

	Ken laughed.  "So what you need is a few white 
knights to swoop down and narrow the field for you?"

	"I need 'em to understand I ain't gonna marry 
nobody.  That way, if I did, like, want to ask one of them 
out, I could do it without starting World War 3."

	"And you've told them that?"

	"It ain't sinking in."

	Ken stroked his chin again.  "Well, if you did want 
one of them, you could just get caught in flagrante 
delicto with her, and the others would give up."

	"That's sounds pretty obscene, Ken," Ranma said.  
"And confusing at the same time."

	"I mean, get caught doing something that makes it 
pretty obvious you like that one best."

	"Yeah, but then the others would hate me."	

	Ken shrugged.  "Got another solution?"

	"You're the smart one.  You're supposed to figure 
these things out."  Ranma sounded just a tiny bit 
petulant.

	Ken laughed.  "Well, another solution would be to 
pick one of them, then find boyfriends for the others."

	Ranma nodded.  "Right."

	"Of course, that would mean you'd have to pick one.  
Who might decide this meant you wanted to marry her.  
Are you sure they're all set on marriage?"

	"They all call me their fiancee."

	Stroking his chin again, Ken said, "That'll about do 
it."   He stared up at the ceiling, but no one had 
remembered to write the answer on it.  

	They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Ken 
said, "I suppose faking your own death is out?"

	"Way out."

	Frowning, Ken now stared at the floor, also devoid 
of answers.  "You could kill my roommate and move in 
with me.  Hard for women to find you in a boys' dorm."

	Ranma frowned.  "I thought you were gonna room 
with Ryu forever."

	"He flunked out because he was too obsessed with 
martial arts, kinda like someone else I know."

	Ranma grimaced.

	"So why don't you come back to Blue Sky?"

	"I can't afford it.  I gotta work hard and get Pop out 
of hock."

	Ken chortled, nearly falling down.  "That's your 
Pop."

	"And when I did go here, I lived at home with Pop.  
Costs too much to live in the dorm if you can commute.  
So what's wrong with your roommate?"

	"Tsubasa's a total freakazoid."

	The door opened and a huge blue mailbox trundled 
in.  It slid over to the other desk, and a hand darted out 
and took a book off it.  Spinning on one leg, it then 
trundled back out.

	"..."

	"He claims it keeps the evil spirits from finding 
him."

	"Your roommate lives in a mailbox?"

	Ken shook his head.  "That is but one of his ten 
thousand disguises."

	"So you're living with Lon Chaney?"

	"Lon Chaney on crack."  Ken got up and went over to 
the closet, throwing open both doors.  One side was full 
of normal clothing, including multiple school uniforms.  
The other was full of dresses, lumber, tools, nails, a 
bunny costume, make up, a policeman's uniform, a 
disassembled bed, and a million other props.  Ranma 
couldn't believe the contents or how so much stuff could 
be crammed into such a small closet.  

	"He must be the King of Halloween," Ranma said.

	"I think everyday is Halloween with him.  I 
remember last Halloween, he freaked out when some guys 
tried to have a seance with a Ouija board.  He ripped it in 
half and gave them a lecture on inviting demons into 
themselves."  Ken shook his head.  "The guy is a certified 
nutjob.  On the other hand, he's a great handyman.  My 
desk broke, and he fixed it.  Blessed it too."

	"He's a priest?"

	"He was just joking around, I think.  He's got a 
mail-order bishopric."

	Ranma boggled.  "A what?"

	"Some weird church that sells titles by mail-order.  
So he's the Bishop of Tokyo for the...can't remember what 
their name is.  I think he might even be an Archbishop."

	And I thought my life was weird, Ranma thought.  
"So you think my best bet is to find boyfriends for the 
ones I don't want?"

	"Yep.  That way, you can still be friends with them, 
and it doesn't necessarily commit you to marry the 
others.  Heck, I'd be happy to take any of the three I met 
off your hands."  Ken grinned.  "I finally have enough 
money to try dating."

	"Right.  I'll start trying to work it out."

	"So which one DO you want?"

	Ranma laughed nervously.  "That's one of the things 
I haven't quite worked out yet, ya know?"

	"Right."

****************

	Ranma headed out to his tent, exhausted.  Ugh, it's 1 
AM, he thought.  I shoulda crashed at Ken's, even if it 
meant the floor for me.  Well, five hours is better than no 
hours.  He flipped the tent flap open, slipped in, and let 
gravity close it.

	There was a blonde-haired lump on top of the other 
sleeping bag, snoozing in a cross-legged sitting position.  
Ranma stared at Usagi.  She musta been trying to stay 
awake until I got back.  

	He quickly threw off his shoes, but didn't strip, in 
case she suddenly woke up.  Instead, he simply opened his 
sleeping bag and got into it.  Her back's gonna hurt in the 
morning, he thought.  

	He got back out of his bag, and gently moved her 
around so she was now lying on top of the other bag, then 
got back into his.  Just as he closed his eyes, she said 
faintly, "Ranma?"

	"No, it's the Emperor, slumming."

	Usagi laughed.  "You wanna..."  She yawned.  "Try a 
tightrope fight in the morning?"

	"Sure thing," he said.  "It's been a while.  Not over a 
raging river, okay?"

	"Darn," she said.  "That ruins half the...yawn...fun."

	"Sleep," he said.

	"When I do something like this...yawn...you're 
supposed to come back before I...yawn...get sleepy."  She 
put a hand to her mouth, which stretched wide enough to 
swallow the temple in the mother of all yawns.

	"Had to go talk to Ken."

	"You could have talked to me or Rei."

	"Guy stuff," Ranma said.  "I could tell you, but then 
I'd have to kill ya."

	She laughed.  "Right.  Can I ask you a question?"

	"Five."

	Usagi blinked.  "Um, right.  Goodnight, Ranma."

	"So whaddya wanna ask me?"

	"Have you ever kissed a girl, Ranma?"

	"Nope."  Although Ukyou kissed me, he thought.  "You 
ever kissed a guy?"

	"Yeah.  I had a boyfriend for about six months, but it 
didn't work out."  She sighed and rolled onto her back, 
staring at the ceiling.  "He left me for Leatherettes."

	"That just sounds weird, ya know."

	"I was about to dump him, anyway.  It just didn't 
feel right.  I couldn't ever have a talk like this with him."  
She smiled in the darkness.  "I'm glad to have someone to 
talk to who understands."

	Ranma twitched, sensing mushy stuff approaching.  
Which he didn't necessarily find to be a bad thing, but he 
knew he needed to make up his mind before anything got 
out of control.  "Thanks."

	"I guess I'd better let you sleep.  Goodnight, Ranma."  
She reached over and squeezed his hand, then rolled onto 
her belly, hair whipping about, and passed out in about 
three seconds.

****************

	"Oooh, a Shinohara Samurai!"  Ukyou said on the next 
day, looking at Haruka's new bike.  "Don't they ask for 
your soul when you buy one of these?"

	"I wish I could afford something like this," Ranma 
said.  "Well, if I knew how to ride it.

	The vibrant blue bike was a work of art, although 
the green and yellow Stanton and Stanton logo detracted 
from its beauty.  Its perfect cleanliness revealed it had 
yet to see a serious race of yet.  

	Haruka put down the bag she'd brought with her and 
pulled out a racing uniform.  The pants were tight and 
black with a red stripe down the side.  The jacket was 
buttoned on one side, grey with red striping.  Ukyou and 
Ranma both recognized its style: it looked like one of 
their Guardian uniforms, complete with a logo above the 
left breast, although they didn't have 'Stanton and 
Stanton' logos on theirs.  "This is my new uniform.  
Pretty snazzy, eh?"

	 "Yeah," Ukyou said, frowning a little.  Was this just 
a coincidence?  Maybe.  "Looks like you're gonna kick 
Chiba's butt."

	"Hulk smash puny human," Haruka said, laughing.  
"Yep.  He's toast, unless he can get a bike as nice as this 
one."

************

	Mamoru tried to not drool as he looked at the bike,  
a GENOM Ronin, one of the two most expensive brands of 
motorcycles that wasn't a collector's item.  Well, not 
yet.  It was bright red with a dancing sea nymph painted 
on one side above the name 'Sea Queen'.  "I could sell my 
soul and not be able to afford this."

	"Uncle Shige claims it's the best racing bike in the 
universe.  It certain cost enough to qualify.  With this, 
even Kunou could stomp that Ten'ou bastard."  Michiru 
smiled.  "You don't mind the nymph, do you?"

	"I like it.  How much extra did it cost?"

	"I painted it myself.  Better than trying a scarf to 
the antenna."  

	Mamoru got up on it and mimed revving it up.  "I 
believe we're going to crush blondie."

	"We can't lose with this little baby."

	They grinned evilly at each other.

**************

	"So what did ya want to ask me about, Ranchan?"  
Ukyou asked.  They were watching Haruka roar around the 
track on the new bike.

	"This Haruka...he doesn't...uh...mind living with a 
woman?"

	Ukyou laughed.  "Haruka's a woman."

	"..."

	"C'mon, I'm not bold enough to live with a guy who 
knows I'm a woman.  Unless I was gonna marry him."  She 
smiled at Ranma.

	Ranma blinked.  "That's one butch woman."

	Ukyou frowned.  "Do you think I'm butch?"

	Ranma backed up nervously.  "I didn't say that!"

	"Well, do you?"  Ukyou advanced on him.

	"I'm just saying I never woulda guessed."  He 
frowned.  Geez, I didn't remember Ucchan having a temper 
like that.

	Ukyou started to speak, then fell silent.  They 
watched Haruka go round for a while in silence, then 
finally, she said, "You're not jealous, are you?"

	Turning on one foot, Ranma stared at her blankly.  
"Jealous?"

	"I'd rather live with you," she said softly.  
"Although I don't know where we'd live."

	Change topic, change topic, change topic, Ranma 
thought.  "Well, everyone else sleeps in my tent at some 
point in time; you ought to come stay with me some 
night."

	Her eyes tripled in size.  "You mean that, Ranchan?"

	Damn me to hell, Ranma thought.  Too late to back 
out now without pissing her off.  "Just don't bring 
Haruka."

	Ukyou gulped nervously.  "Okay, Ranchan.  How 
about...tomorrow night?"

	"Sure.  We don't have school the day after that or 
nothing.  So you can...uh, stay the night, and then we can 
go cheer your roomie on the next day."  I'm going to die, 
Ranma thought.  Going to DIE, DIE, DIE.  That's it, I'm 
never speaking again unless I count to ten first.  A 
hundred, maybe.

************

	"You want to what?" Rei said to Usagi.

	"Take you and Grandpa out tomorrow night," Usagi 
replied.  They were seated at the edge of the temple 
porch with their legs dangling over the edge.  She 
continued, "As an appreciation of you letting me stay 
here."

	"What about Ranma?"

	"No Ranma.  Just you two and me and Shampoo.  So 
we won't have to fight."

	Rei stared at Usagi for a moment, then laughed.  
"Right.  Sounds good to me.  So where will we be going?"

	"Haven't figured that out yet."  Usagi's mother 
rubbed against Usagi's leg, so she picked up Ikuko-neko 
and began to pet her.  "Hi, Mom."

	"Your brother is stuck up a tree again, dear.  You 
need to get him down."

	Usagi stood up, sighing.  "I wish he'd stop doing 
that."

	"It's instinctive, dear.  I've done it myself a few 
times."  Ikuko-neko curled up in the sun.  "Nap time."

	Rei shook her head.  Everyone's parents I meet make 
Grandpa seem normal, she thought.  And that's scarier 
than the monsters we fight.

***********

	Naru came up to Ranma at lunch.  "I need to talk to 
you."

	Ranma twitched.  "About what?"

	Dragging him by the arm, she dragged him out of the 
classroom, down the hallway and out the door into the 
yard, where she sat him and his lunch down under a tree.  
"Do you really turn into a girl when you get wet?"

	Ranma laughed nervously.  "Yes."

	"Have I met your girl body?"

	He nodded weakly.  "Yes."

	"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked angrily.

	"Because I don't like telling people about my curse!  
I don't want people thinking I'm some kinda weirdo!"

	"You let me tell you all about how I felt about you!"  
She paused in her wrath.  "You know what I mean!"

	He stared at the ground, embarrassed.  "Well, I 
didn't know how to stop you telling me."

	"Ranma...do you like me?"

	He sighed.  "Not like you want me to.  I'm sorry.  
You're a nice person and everything, but I'm not in love 
with you."

	She sighed louder and stared at the ground.  "All 
right.  I can handle that."

	"You're not mad at me?"  Ranma asked nervously.

	"I want to strangle you, but not because you don't 
like me like that.  More for lying to me."

	"C'mon, you'd have done the same thing, if you 
turned into a boy.  You really think you'd tell everyone 
about your secret?"  His voice was a little irritated now.

	"I wouldn't let someone pour their heart out to me 
like that!"

	He frowned.  "Easy for you to say without having 
ever been in my position."

	They stared unhappily at each other, then Naru got 
up.  "I...I still want to learn some martial arts, but..."

	"I'll teach you," Ranma said.  "I ain't the sort of guy 
that lets this kinda stuff mess up his teaching.  If you 
don't hate me now." 

	"I don't hate you," Naru said, staring at the ground.  
"It would make it easier if I did.  I just...need to be alone 
for a while."  She walked away.

	Well, that's one less worry, he told himself, 
sighing.

************

	"You're going where?" Ranma asked Rei.

	"Usagi's taking me and Grandpa out.  So you've got 
the temple to yourself; try not to level it, okay?"  Rei 
was seated at the kitchen table, doing homework.

	"What, I don't get to go?"

	"Nope." 

	"How come?  Did I piss her off or something?"  
Ranma asked, trying to think of what he might have done.

	"Nope.  She's taking us out as a thank you for letting 
her stay here.  You're not one of her hosts, so you get to 
stay."

	Ranma frowned.  I don't wanna...oh, Ucchan's coming, 
I bet she can cook something good. And it will mean less 
trouble...until the morning, anyway.  "Right.  See ya 
tomorrow, then."

	He turned to go, and Rei said, "I guess it does seem 
kinda rude, but...Usagi and I have stuff to talk about."

	"It's okay," Ranma said.  "I'll find something to do 
with myself."

	She watched him go, sighed, and went back to her 
homework.

************

	"Where is everyone?" Ukyou asked when she arrived.

	"Everyone's taken off except the cats," Ranma said.  
"Do you think you could whip something up for dinner?  I 
am STARVING."

	Ukyou grinned and rolled up her sleeves.  "Show me 
to the grill."

************

	Dr. Tofu and Setsuna finished rolling up the 
bandages and other cleaning up tasks.  He then went to 
put on some tea while Setsuna started packing her bag to 
go home for the night.  She turned and said, "Do 
you...umm...Know what the best way to ask a guy out is?"  
She paused.  "I suppose not."

	He turned towards her, smiling.  "You could try just 
going up to him and asking."

	Setsuna shifted back and forth on her feet.  "What 
if he says no?"

	"There's no magic way to ask that guarantees a 
yes," he replied, then sat down by the kettle.  "Although 
some guys do get nervous if the woman asks them out.  Is 
it anyone I know?"

	"His name is Ranma."

	"Ahh, the Saotome boy.  Hmm.  He seems like the 
type who would want to do the asking.  Have you tried 
hinting?"

	She stared at the ground.  "I think I may have hinted 
a little too hard."

	"And scared him off?"

	"Yes."

	"Probably you should back off a while, see if he 
comes to you."

	"But...what if he doesn't?"  Her voice trembled.

	"Well, that would be a bad sign."  He tapped his 
fingers thoughtfully on the table.  "And he does have all 
those women after him.  You could be facing an uphill 
fight."

	She sagged.  "I know."

	"I'll think about it, and see if I can think of 
anything."

	"The tea should be ready now," Setsuna said.

	And so it was.  "You have quite a knack for 
predicting things," he said.

	"Comes naturally."
	
****************

	Ranma was beginning to wonder if he would have to 
sever his own arm.  It was working on getting him in 
trouble again.  Mental note, keep arms in lap when 
watching TV with women, he told himself.  He and Ukyou 
had rented a very bad but rather funny Kung Fu flick, 
'Seven Days of Righteous Thunder', which involved Martial 
Arts Race Car Driving, in order to get in the right mood 
for the race tomorrow.  He'd sat down on the couch and 
put his arms along the top as he usually did.  Ukyou had 
plopped down right next to him and leaned over on him, 
triggering his usual paralysis problem.  Now, his arm had 
carefully crept down to wrap around her, making her purr 
slightly. 

	The result was a mixture of mild pleasure and 
abject terror as he watched the movie, felt Ukyou next to 
him, and worried about Rei and Usagi exploding if they 
came back and saw this.  Do something or she'll get the 
right idea or I'll start liking this and I won't be able to 
see a woman without putting an arm around her and 
getting pimp-slapped, he told himself.  Nothing happened.

	"So, I see you have been practicing your Mach-Fu," 
the villain said in the movie.  "But now I will unleash my 
Oil Change of EVIL!"

	Ukyou laughed.  "This has got to be the most 
ridiculous thing I've ever seen."

	"The sequel is worse," Ranma said, managing to 
briefly turn on his vocal cords.  "'Go, Go, Go Spud Razor' is 
just...evil."

	Ukyou made a gagging noise.  "Ugh."

	Ranma heard the pitter-patter of tiny cat feet, and 
abject terror set in.  Once Shingo saw this, he would 
never, ever shut up.  "I...uh...BATHROOM!"  He vaulted 
backwards over the couch and sprinted off.

	Ukyou watched him go, scratching her head.  

***********

	Usagi, Rei, and Shampoo walked into the living 
room, having returned from the dinner.  Ukyou was 
playing 'bat the fake mousie' with Shingo-neko while the 
TV was on pause.  Usagi said, "Hi, Ukyou!  I see Shingo 
still can't catch the mousie."

	"Nyaah!  I just do it this way because it's more fun," 
he said, leaping at it and landing on Shampoo's stomach 
instead.  His effort to cling failed and he fell to the 
ground.  "Well, sometimes."  

	Shampoo booted him away.  "Shampoo is not 
amused."

	"Watching a movie with Ranma?"  Rei asked with 
just a tiny bit of irritation in her voice.

	"Yep," Ukyou said.  "Although he's been in the 
bathroom an awfully long time," she said, looking at her 
watch.  "Geez, twenty minutes."

	"Probably constipation," Shingo-neko said.

	Usagi turned and gazed off in the general direction 
of the bathroom.  "I hope he's not sick."

	"Naah, he's just hiding so you can't kill him for 
getting nookie with Ukyou while you were gone."

	"We were not...uh, whatever that means," Ukyou 
said.  "All we did was spar, eat, and watch this movie!"

	Rei frowned.  "There had better not have been any 
nookie going on."

	"Usagi, your future husband needs a lesson in 
faithfulness," Shampoo said to Usagi.

	"Oh, yes, of course we can trust Shingo to be 
perfectly honest," Usagi said, sarcastically, then her 
voice softened. "I trust him."

	Ukyou pretended to fiddle with the TV so she could 
hide a smile.  He had his arm around me!  He does like me! 
she thought.  It had felt good to cuddle up to him; she'd 
wanted to do that for forever, ever since they'd first met 
in her father's algode fields.  He'd been cute even at that 
age, although...she frowned.  Algode fields?  What's 
algode?  My father wasn't a farmer...

	Ranma emerged with a bag of chips and some 
lemonade.  "Geez, it took forever to find the...oh, you're 
all back."

	"Ranma, were you and Ukyou making out earlier?" 
Rei asked, staring at Ranma intensely.

	"NO!" he shouted, then calmed down.  "Just watching 
a movie."

	"Uh huh."

	"We were!"

	Rei stared at him, then relaxed.  Be nice, she told 
herself.  You catch more flies with sugar than vinegar.  
"Right.  Then you won't mind if we watch the movie with 
you."

	"Not at all."

	Ranma made sure to sit on the floor and let the 
ladies have the couch.

*************

	The movie, and another that Rei and Usagi had 
picked up were over.  Rei rose and said, "Well, I'm going 
to bed."

	"You gonna walk Ukyou home?" Usagi asked Ranma.

	He twitched.  "She's...uh..."

	Perkily, Ukyou said, "I'm staying with Ranchan 
tonight."

	Rei frothed.  Shampoo quickly got out of the way.  
Usagi simply frowned and one of her fists clenched for a 
few seconds.  Ranma said, "Get off it, Rei.  You know I 
ain't gonna try nothing funny any more than I did with 
you."

	Rei blinked and stared at him, unable to speak.

	He continued.  "Ukyou and I used to sleep together 
all the time when were little, and nothing ever happened 
except the time the tent blew over in a storm and we 
rolled down the hill and landed in a creek.  But there's no 
creek here, so we'll be fine."  

	Rei blinked.  "Creek?"

	"Anyway, I'm gonna go take a shower.  BY MYSELF.  
And then Ukyou and I are going to bed.  And in the 
morning, she's gonna cook you all breakfast.  And then we 
can go to the race and cheer Haruka on.  Okay?"

	"Uh, okay..."  Rei said, still staring blankly.

	Ranma turned and departed.  Ukyou picked up the 
tape she had rented, and headed out as well.  

	Shingo said, "How do you like them cookies?"

	"Do you think..." Rei said faintly, "That he likes 
her?"

	"I think it means we've been pushing too hard," 
Usagi said.  "So we may need to be a little more subtle."

	"But...I thought...I mean, when we watched a 
movie..."  Rei's brain just wasn't quite working right.

	Shampoo said, "Never had man tell you off before?"

	"Not too often," she said faintly.

	"Men should know their place, but there are times 
when every woman needs a telling-off," Shampoo said.  
"Learn to fight only when you can win or when you have 
no choice."

	"C'mon, let's go plot our next move," Usagi said, 
taking Rei by the arm and dragging her off.

	Shampoo watched them go, then turned to Shingo-
neko.  "Were they really making out?"

	"I doubt it, but it caused some fun trouble by saying 
they were."

	It was time for Shampoo to give Shingo another 
flying lesson.

************

	Ranma and Ukyou lay curled up facing each other in 
their sleeping bags in Ranma's tent.  "Been a long time 
since the last time we did this," Ranma said.

	"3,545 days," Ukyou said.  "Not that I'm counting."

	Ranma blinked.  "You remember the exact day?"

	"No, but it was fun watching you start when I said 
that," Ukyou replied, grinning.  "Not as much fun as 
watching Rei freak out."

	"She's gotta get ahold of that temper," Ranma said.  
"Or she'll drive off all her friends."

	"So how are you gonna get rid of your engagement 
to her?"

	He frowned slightly.  "Depends on if we can knock 
some sense into Pop.  I mean, it ain't like I don't like Rei, 
it's just that I ain't ready to marry nobody."  He 
emphasized the last word in a way that made Ukyou shift 
uncomfortably.  It sounded too much like a hint.  "Date, 
yeah.  I wouldn't mind dating someone, but everyone 
wants me to marry them right now."

	"I won't push, Ranchan," Ukyou said.  "I waited this 
long.  I just...I just...want to be able to be near you.  I've..."  
She couldn't bring herself to go on.  A thought struck her.  
"Do you know what algode is?"

	He thought hard.  "Some kinda white fluffy....cotton.  
It's...some language for Spanish.  I mean, I think it's 
Spanish for cotton.  Or something."

	She rolled over on her back.  "Weird. I was thinking 
I met you in a cotton field that belonged to my father, 
but he wasn't a farmer."

	Ranma rolled onto his back as well.  "It was right 
next to a rice field.  Your pop was selling to people in the 
fields.  I don't think people even grow cotton in Japan."

	She sighed.  "I must have gotten my own life 
confused with some movie or something.  I feel like an 
idiot."

	"Been there, done that."  He laughed.  "Pop does that 
all the time."

	"Whatcha gonna do about Setsuna?"

	"Not a clue.  But I'm sure I'll think of something."  
He yawned.  "I'd better get some sleep."

	She yawned in reply.  "Amen to that."

************

	Ranma woke from a dream of him and Diamond 
breaking up a cult that worshipped one of the Seven 
Scourges and was trying to free it.  In the last bit of it, 
Diamond had taken the leader's magical staff and bent it 
into a character that meant 'moron', then he had hung it 
round the leader's neck.  He'd enjoyed the dream; it had 
been like living a good action movie, and he'd gotten to 
kick a lot of butt.  I wonder if I did that sort of thing all 
the time, he thought.

	He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but 
Ukyou said very softly, "You've got to learn that trick for 
making people slow down, Ranchan."

	He had slowed down several of the cultists 
somehow, he remembered now; it had been fairly 
difficult, and he'd gotten his concentration broken before 
he could do it to all of them.  It would be useful...hey, 
how did Ucchan know what I was dreaming about? he 
asked himself.  "You have a dream flashback?"

	"Yeah, we broke up some cult and I tied the leader's 
magic staff into..."

	"The character for 'moron'?" he cut in.

	Her eyes opened.  "Yeah."

	"Creepy...same dream," Ranma said.

	"Maybe it's because of our powers."  Maybe we're 
linked by destiny, she hoped.  Forty-two, she thought.  
"Can you tell what I'm thinking?"  She repeated the 
number forty-two over and over in her mind.

	Ranma tried reading Ukyou's mind.  "You're thinking 
about Haruka....doing the hokey pokey."

	"..."

	"I guess not."

	"Maybe it was just a coincidence then.  Or it only 
works when you sleep."

	Ranma laughed.  "Gee, what a useful power."

	"You try thinking of something."

	He tried thinking about Ken.

	"It's..."  Ukyou scrunched up her face.  "A person."

	"Go on."

	"Ummm....male."

	Ranma's eyes widened.

	"Ummm...goes to my school."

	Ranma nodded mutely.

	"Ken?"

	"Damn, you did read my mind!"

	"Actually, I was just guessing and watching you 
react," she said, sighing.  "Oh well, I guess it was a 
coincidence."  She sounded disappointed.

	"I'm going back to sleep.  Tell me in the morning 
what you dreamed, okay?"

	"Okay."

***************

	A comparison of dreams in the morning revealed 
that they'd shared three flashback dreams and each had 
eight or so unrelated normal dreams.  Ranma began 
wondering what the others had dreamed when they'd 
slept with him, and thanked the heavens he hadn't had any 
romantic dreams about Setsuna, or Ukyou would have 
likely killed him.

	They caught the bus out to the race track, and 
discovered that a fair sized crowd had shown up for the 
duel.  About two-thirds of them were wearing Kunou 
family colors and waving, 'Victory to Chiba Mamoru, 
crush the ignorant blond peasant with irresistable force!' 
banners.  A small knot of teenage girls were waving 'Go, 
Haruka, Go' banners, along with a group of teenage boys in 
Blue Sky Academy uniforms.  Ranma, Usagi, Shampoo, Rei, 
and Ukyou headed over to Haruka's pitstop, where 
Haruka's new crew was busily making sure her bike was 
ready.  She was sitting on a folding chair, drinking 
Snapple and looking across the track at Mamoru's pit.  
"Hi, Ukyou," she said, waving to Ukyou.  "Hi, everyone.  
Ready to see me kick ass?"

	"Wow, you've got a pit crew!"

	She nodded.  "Thanks to my sponsors.  They're up in 
the stands."  She pointed up to an observation box, 
through the window of which one could just barely see a 
woman with curly green hair.  "Well, Maxine is.  Her 
husband is busy."

	Ukyou peered up at her.  "Not bad looking.  You sure 
she isn't after your body?" she asked teasingly.

	"I'd certainly be after her body if she wasn't 
married," Haruka said, grinning.  She pointed up at the 
Kunou bloc.  "He brought his own cheering section.  You 
should have seen the chartered buses pulling up.  Pretty 
cheesy."

	Rei frowned.  "That is tacky."

	Shampoo looked at the motorcycle.  "Where's the 
weapons?"

	"It doesn't have any."

	"Then what good is it?"

	Haruka laughed.  "Now, if this thing transformed 
into a giant mech, it'd be cool, but I'd have a hard time 
winning a race with it."

	"Oh, this is race, not fight to death.  Shampoo didn't 
understand," Shampoo said.

	"..."

	Rei said, "Anywhere to get something to drink 
around here?"

	"There's some girl selling refreshments, I think," 
Haruka said.  "You'll have to find her in the stands, 
though."

*************

	There were two girls, in fact, in the process of 
having a fight over who got to sell where.  One had bright 
orange hair, the other was blonde with glasses and heavy 
freckles.  They were both carrying large boxes with 
popcorn and sodas, and wearing moneybelts.  "I was here 
first, Negiri!"

	"First on THAT side," Negiri said, pointing toward 
the legion of Kunou vassals.  "I got to this side FIRST, 
Nanami!"

	"I don't think so!  I planted my flag!  This sportings 
event is mine!"

	"Can I have a coke?" Rei asked.

	The two girls spun on their heels and each held out 
a coke.  "Sixty yen," Nanami said.

	"Fifty for mine, and it's not tainted by her insane 
family," Negiri replied.

	"Oh yeah?  While mine is forty and an ugly person 
hasn't touched it!"

	Negiri frothed.  "I could look like a beauty queen if I 
felt like it!  I'll sell it for thirty yen if you kick this 
idiot in the head for me!"

	Rei started to speak, but Nanami said, "Hah!  I won't 
be undersold!  Twenty yen and I'll throw in a popcorn!"

	Rei tried to hand her twenty yen, but Negiri said, 
"Undercut ME will you?  Hah!  Ten yen and I'll give you 
two sodas and a popcorn!"

	"Five yen gets you three sodas and two popcorns!  
And a recording of my brother's best laughs!"

	Rei quickly shoved five yen into her hands and took 
the three sodas and two popcorns and ran.

	They both stared after her, then Negiri said, "She 
tricked us."

	Nanami stared at the five yen.  "Damn, she was 
good."

	"How about we flip that to see who gets which 
side?"

	"Sounds good to me."

****************

	Sailor Mercury leaped roof to roof, moving 
gracefully through the Nerima district.  She'd never been 
much of a racing fan, and she had something she wanted 
to investigate.  She knew that whatever had happened to 
Kasumi's family had destroyed the Tendo Dojo.  Kasumi 
was the technical owner of the land; Ami's mother had 
acted as legal guardian, had the rubble cleaned up and 
fenced off the land to let Kasumi decide what to do with 
it when she grew up.  If she sold it, she'd likely be rich, 
but for ten years, it had lain fallow.  

	It was easy to vault the fence from a nearby roof, 
landing in the old back yard, where the koi pond and rock 
garden sat alone.  She got out her computer and began to 
scan the area.

	Her suspicions were confirmed.  There was a weak 
point here in the walls which guarded her reality from 
others; it was weakest...there.  She went over to stand on 
what would have once been the porch, but was now a 
flower garden planted by the groundskeeper.  Violets 
bobbed in the gentle breeze as she continued her scan.  

	The weakness was not so strong as to allow easy 
access, but she could dimly sense leakage of dark power 
through it.  And ever so slightly, it was getting larger 
and weaker.  Like a crack in the windshield, it was 
spreading.  

	She ran a quick backwards check, and determined 
the crack had likely formed about ten years ago.  The 
discovery made her shudder.  Something had happened 
here...quite possibly this was what was enabling the Dark 
Kingdom to launch its attacks.  It must still take them a 
lot of energy to ship people through the weakness, 
Mercury thought.  And by now, it encompasses most of 
Tokyo.

	The question is...did they break through and make 
the crack...or did someone on our side make it?  She got 
out of the flowerbed and sat down to think about it.  
Uncle Soun hadn't the knowledge to do something like 
that, and neither did Aunt Michiko, so far as Mercury 
knew.  So the Dark Kingdom must have broken 
through...but if they could bring an entire family through, 
why hadn't they been able to go through themselves?  
They couldn't have been here for ten years...

	Major Diamond was Soun.  There was no way around 
it, she thought.  He had to be.  She tried asking her 
computer how the crack was made, but it simply replied 
'insufficient data'.  I have to know, she thought.  Although 
she wasn't sure what she would do when she did know.

****************

	Uncle Shige finished his last bit of tinkering with 
Mamoru's bike.  "You can't lose, even if Ten'ou dug up 
corporate sponsors somewhere."  He paused.  "Have you 
ever done racing before?"

	"A little.  I think he's got more experience, though," 
Mamoru said.  "But I'll give it my best."

	"I know you will," Michiru said, smiling at him; it 
made his heart race.  

	Dammit, why I can't I ever meet a woman who I like 
who is available? he asked himself.  And why am I 
risking my neck like this?  I'm just the gardener, dammit.

	"You carry the honor of the Kunou family.  Bear it 
well," Kunou said.  "Win this, and I'll reward you richly.  
I'm sure you know the price of failure," he said gravely.

	Mamoru began to sweat.

************

	A shot rang out, and the race began.  Engines 
roaring, they poured on the speed and began their first 
lap shrouded in dust.  Gradually, the dust settled to a 
more manageable level, and they zoomed along, neck and 
neck.

	Mamoru frowned; his bike had great speed, better 
than Haruka's, but it didn't handle so well in the turns.  
He also could hear some faint engine irregularities which 
bothered him.  The brakes worked well, though, which 
was reassuring.  If something went wrong, he should be 
able to stop.  

	Haruka listened to her engine purr and smiled.  The 
bike handled like a dream.  Much to her surprise, though, 
Mamoru's bike was just a tiny bit more powerful than 
hers; this was likely going to mount up, at least if he 
stopped being so cautious in the turns.  Probably a lack of 
experience, she thought, or maybe it doesn't handle quite 
so well.  Hard to tell.  Where'd he get such a nice...the
Kunous paid for it, of course, she thought.  This should
be some race, she thought.

	After four laps, Haruka had a slight but noticable 
lead.  Her friends went wild, shouting and yelling, while 
Mamoru's fan section shouted various imprecations at 
Haruka and tried to egg him on.  Kunou kept chanting, 
"Crush the blond peasant dog!  Show him the error of his 
lower-class ways!" but it just didn't quite catch on as a 
group cheer.

	Shampoo asked, "When do they jump through 
flaming hoops?"

	"Never, I hope," Rei said.

	"Japanese races are boring," she announced.  "What 
kind of race doesn't have flaming hoops?"

	"A survivable one," Rei replied.

***********

	Moonstone stood in her lab, watching four green 
crystals float over a bowl of water.  A tiny crackling 
field spread among them, shedding energies that made 
her long purple hair try to stand on end, and her silver 
tiara tingle.  "Come in, dear," she said to her husband, 
who was lurking in the doorway.  "This experiment isn't 
working right, anyway."

	Major Diamond came over to her, leaning over her 
shoulder.  "What is this?"

	"I'm trying to use their sympathetic properties to 
generate a Milesian Uilitroc Field.  But they're about to 
destabilize.  I need purer crystals."  She frowned at the 
bowl.  "I need to lean on Tourmaline and see if she can 
get me better ones."

	"I thought these were better."

	"Even better," she said, then turned around.  "So 
what brings you here in the middle of the day?  Missed 
me?"  she smiled at him.

	"One of the Senshi recognized me...back at our fight, 
and I've been trying to think about who she might be.  I 
got a good look at her civilian appearance, and she 
reminds me a little of your brother."

	"Soichiro?"

	"Unless you're hiding another brother under a rock," 
he said, sitting down on a stool.  "There's hardly anyone 
else that age who might recognize me, except for either 
Kasumi if she's alive or Soichiro's girl, Ami."

	Moonstone's eyes lit up.  "You think you've found our 
other daughter?"

	"No, I think it's probably Ami, and Tourmaline 
agreed with me.  But I assume Soichiro and Reiko would 
have taken Kasumi in."

	She nodded and sat down on a stool herself as the 
four crystals plunged into the water, the field fading 
away as they did so.  "So if you find them..."  She slapped 
her forehead.  "We should have thought of checking in on 
my brother as soon as we got access to the Earth again.  
It's not like Kasumi would be living under a rock."  She 
smiled brightly.  "Finally, our family can be reunited."

	"Assuming Beryl will accept her, and she's willing 
to serve Beryl."

	"But how could anyone not want to...oh, I suppose 
she wouldn't have the same perspective, being trapped 
living among humans all that time.  I can hardly believe 
we did that for so long."  Moonstone shook her head, and 
for a moment, usually forgotten memories resurfaced.  
She quickly stomped on them; thinking about her pre-Dark 
Kingdom days usually depressed her for reasons she 
didn't fully understand.  "I feel like we've always lived 
here."

	He frowned, as long-suppressed memories swam to 
the surface for a moment, making him uncomfortable as 
well.  They quickly receded, for which he was thankful.  
Best not to dwell on the past.  "She can't remember the 
Crystal Kingdom, or how Serenity destroyed it," he said.  
"This is all that is left of it, banished to another 
dimension, and turned into a blighted wasteland.  Once 
we have enough energy to reawaken all of her warriors 
who died in the assault on the Moon Kingdom, and were 
reincarnated on the Earth like we were...then we'll avenge 
that battle.  I'm sure once Kasumi is awakened to her 
heritage, she'll understand, but getting her here may be 
tricky."

	"I have faith in you, my husband," she said.  "The 
sooner, the better."

	He nodded.  "I'll go see about borrowing some help 
from Tourmaline."  He shook his head.  "It feels strange to 
be my daughter's...vassal."

	"But she's earned it."

	He nodded again.  "And kept her sister alive, for which
I am very grateful."  He sighed, staring at the ground.  "And me
as well.  It's all so..."  He stared at his wife, then back at the 
ground.  " I'll let you know how things go."  He leaned over and 
kissed her on the cheek.  "Back to training people how not to
accidentally kill themselves."  He sounded rather subdued.

	"It's a strange world,"  Moonstone said.  "But we made it 
past another crisis, so let's count our blessings.  Try to have fun, 
dear."

	"Too much fun, no doubt."

**********

	Haruka definitely had the lead on Mamoru, now.  He 
was half a lap behind, and hating the turns.  Haruka was 
laughing at him, and he cursed.  I should have known 
better, he thought, than to try to beat a professional 
racer just because some girl smiled at me.  

	Only way to win was to push the engine to the max 
and pray he could handle the turns.  It was the most 
terrifying experience of his life, but to his surprise, he 
managed to do it, catching up to Haruka after two more 
laps, and starting to pass.  Haruka stared at him in shock, 
and soon he began to pull ahead.

	Only four laps to go; he just had to keep the lead 
that long and he would win.  He blessed Shige silently, 
and made another tight turn, nearly falling over.  That 
had been closer than he liked.

	Up in the stands, Ukyou said, "I can't believe it!"

	Far across from her, up in a viewing box, Michiru 
simply smiled maliciously.

	"Well done, gardener!"  Kunou shouted out.  "He 
drives most nobly for an artisan.  Perhaps he has some 
noble ancestry."

	"His family is descended from a Daimyo, but fell on 
hard times in the eighteenth century when they angered 
the Shogun, and ended up as gardeners to a noble family," 
Shige said.

	Michiru and Kunou both blinked at him, and Michiru 
said, "How do you know that?"

	"Ran a background check on him."  They continued to 
stare.  "I just thought...never mind."  He turned to the 
race.

	Kunou said, "No wonder he is of such noble visage 
and seems to fit in so well in a house of nobility.  I am 
fortunate to have such a vassal."

	Down on the track, Haruka pressed her motor to the 
limit, and began to catch up with Mamoru, although it 
was looking fairly clear she wouldn't be able to catch 
him.  And she wouldn't have if he hadn't had an engine 
failure.

	Several sparks flew from the engine, and it 
suddenly went dead, leaving him to coast.  Coast at high 
speed, but coast nevertheless.  Rei briefly felt a strange 
jolt.  Was that Dark Energy? she asked herself.

	Haruka zoomed past Mamoru to nail the victory 
while Mamoru concluded Uncle Shige must not have 
known quite as much as he thought.  He was able to stop 
without wiping out; the brakes still worked, thankfully.  

	The referee, a track employee who was a fat old 
man, came over to them and said, "And the race goes to 
Ten'ou Haruka."  To Mamoru, he said, "Tough luck about 
your bike, boy.  You would have won if it hadn't given 
out."	

	Soon, a victory celebration and a defeat 
commiseration were in progress.

***************

	The victory celebration took place at a nice 
restaurant, where they all proceeded to heavily pig out.  
Once the tide of eating began to subside, Haruka said, 
"I'd have rather beaten him fair and square, but I guess
the Kamis decided to take a hand or something, eh, Rei?"
She sounded a little subdued.

	"I guess," Rei said, still wondering if she'd 
imagined feeling the surge of Dark Energy.  For a moment, 
she wondered if Haruka could be working for the Dark 
Kingdom, then dismissed the thought.  No one working for 
the Dark Kingdom would be living with Ukyou, she 
thought.  Although...I need to ask Ukyou why she's still 
living with a guy.  

	Ami, Setsuna, and Naoko came up to the table.  
"Mind if we join you?" Setsuna asked Ranma.

	"Yeah, pull up a chair," he said, hoping she wouldn't 
try to shove in between him and Usagi or him and Rei, but 
deep down suspecting she would.

	Instead, the trio took seats down at the end of the 
table by Ken and Grandpa.  Ami said, "Did you win?"

	"Yep."

	"Haruka won because of the other bike breaking," Ukyou 
replied, grinning.

	Haruka thumbed her nose at Ukyou.  "I'da come back and
won anyway."

	"I had homework," Naoko said.

	"Me too," Ami said.

	"Dr. Tofu needed me," Setsuna said.

	"Geez, you people are no fun."

	Setsuna simply grinned.

	A few seconds later, a passing waitress tripped 
while carrying a tray of pies.  Four of the six found their 
way to Haruka's head and torso.  

	"Having fun yet?" Setsuna asked, laughing.

	Haruka plucked a pie off herself and hurled it at 
Setsuna.  "I am now!"

	They were only banned for six months by the time 
it was over.

************

	"Foul Sorcery!"  Kunou proclaimed.  "They must have 
hired an evil wizard to smite your steed," he said as he 
began to pace back and forth.  "I will have Sasuke shadow 
them and determine who is the sorceror.  Probably the 
blonde peasant's assistant, but with so many present, 
this will take some time."

	"Weird, the battery is dead," Shige said, testing it.  
"I honestly can't imagine what did that.  And I'm not sure 
why the engine kicked out; it doesn't need the battery 
while it's running.  I hope I didn't mess something up."

	"It's not your fault, Uncle," Michiru said.  "I've never 
seen that happen to a bike you tinkered with."

	Mamoru simply sat on a handy folding chair and 
frowned.  "I'd like to hope there wasn't any sabotage, but 
if there was, why did the bike hold up so long?"

	"It was Sorcery!"  Kunou proclaimed.  "I could FEEL 
it in my bones.  Couldn't you?"

	Michiru did remember getting a chill at the moment 
the bike kicked out, but she was sure it was just the 
shock of the bike suddenly dying like that which had 
given it to her.  "I'm not used to feeling foul sorcery," she 
said dryly.

	"Of course not; no one would dare ensorcel the 
future bride of Kunou Tatewaki!"  Kunou drew his sword 
and held it aloft.  "I shall find the one who smote this 
bike and bring him to justice!  THIS I DO SWEAR!"  There 
was a crack of thunder, and lightning stabbed down 
behind him.  Sadly, he had been pacing in front of Mamoru.

	Charred, Mamoru fell to the ground.  "How do you do 
that?  And how do I make you stop?"

	Michiru blinked.  "What the...did you see that, Uncle 
Shige?"

	He looked up.  "See what?"

	"The...nevermind."  As if I needed more proof I'm 
engaged to a mutant, she thought.  But I'm glad he isn't 
blaming Mamoru for this.  Tatewaki's a loon, but he's a 
loyal one.  "Let's go get some food."

**************

	"Maw, we've got a problem," "Paw" Henderson said 
to his wife as they sat at the dinner table on their back 
porch.

	"Eat your green beans like a big boy," she said, 
sighing.  Here we go again.

	"Ain't the green beans.  There's a panda stealing the 
laundry."  He pointed at the line of laundry strung 
between two trees, which was now in the process of 
wandering off towards the forest with its new owner.

	"I'm not falling for that again," she said.  "I suppose 
it came looking for the giraffe?  Eat your green beans."

	"It's got my best shirt!"

	"If I turn around, you'll put them on my plate.  Now, 
EAT them."

	By the time he ate the green beans, it was too late 
to catch the panda.

**************

	Rei, Usagi, and Shampoo all basted happily in the 
large hot water tub at the Shrine bathroom.  Usagi said, 
"Man, I thought I'd never get all the pie out of my hair."

	"Shampoo never thought anyone could have too much 
pie, but Shampoo admits she was wrong," Shampoo said.  
She wiggled to get comfortable, disappointing her fans, 
who couldn't quite see anything naughty.  "Shampoo 
thinks someone sabotaged Mamoru's bike.  Shampoo also 
thinks he's rather good looking.  Anyone know if he's a 
good fighter?"

	"He's got a nice butt," Rei said, then blushed when 
Usagi and Shampoo both turned and looked at her.  "The 
race program said he won a Kendo competition three 
years in a row in high school.  So he must be fairly good."

	"Challenge him, big sister," Usagi said.  "I'm sure 
he'll find you attractive."

	"Three time winner?  Hmm.  Shampoo will have to 
look into this.  Kendo is with swords, right?"

	"Right,"  Rei said.  "It's the non-lethal form of 
traditional sword-duelling."

	"Perfect," Shampoo said.  "Not want to accidentally 
kill possible husband choice."

	"..."  

************

	"You're setting up a WHAT?"  Tourmaline asked 
Jadeite.

	"A casino.  I've found the perfect pawn to run it for 
me.  He even has his own ninjas, which will give me some 
magically undetectable agents.  And with the money, I 
can hire more.  The humans will be so excited from their 
gambling, they'll generate extra energy, so we can drain 
them without anyone noticing."

	They were standing on the porch of the palatial 
mansion that Tourmaline had arranged to buy as cover for 
one of her identities.  Both of them luxuriated in 
furniture which was actually comfortable, a pair of 
reclining chairs.  They could see the sun setting in the 
mountains to the west from here.  

	"That's brilliant," Tourmaline said, her voice filled 
with an unusual amount of respect and just a touch of 
some emotion that Jadeite couldn't quite place.  "Even 
better than my race track."

	"Beryl's getting impatient," he said.  "We're going to 
have to make a move soon.  Have you managed to collect 
the information we need?"

	"Yes.  I know everything we need to know to build 
the perfect trap.  How soon will your casino be ready?"

	"Probably not soon enough.  My agent is setting it 
all up, but it will likely take a few weeks to open."

	"Right.  Now, here's my plan...."  She paused, then 
whispered, "Zoicite is on the roof, spying on us."  More 
loudly, she said, "I've purchased the Happy Dreams Hotel.  
I've discovered that they're hiding the Moon Princess 
there.  After all, who would think to look in a love hotel 
for the Moon Princess?  Now, we'll take the following 
youma..."

	She rambled on for the next fifteen minutes with 
an incredibly detailed plan, until finally, she paused for 
breath, then whispered, "Zoicite is gone now."

	"Let me guess, Happy Dreams is a competitor?"

	"Two more points for you," Tourmaline said.  "Get 
one more right, and I'll give you a kiss."

	Jadeite wasn't sure if that was a promise or a 
threat.  Or which he wanted it to be.

	

John Walter Biles :  MA-History, ABD, Ph.D Candidate at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

"Anybody touches my radishes and it's war!"
--KODT #1




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