Ookay, this was weird..
Nabiki screamed and ducked as three horned
demons zipped past her, tentacles lashing the air.
If this was the spring of drowned Yeti-Ox-Eel-Crane, then
the tentacles are extra.
Taro gained them after going to the spring of drowned octopus
"It's obvious. I married him because he's
beautiful. MY brains and his . . .errrr . . .attributes
Heh.
It's a common fanfic myth that Taro is intelligent..
He's just nastier than most of the NMA
(Nerima Martial Artists)
"Hmmmmm," Nabiki hummed, looking up at
him through slitted lids. "Did I make a mistake when
I had Happy rename you Mr. Lovemachine Taro?"
How.. Corny. Fits, though.
This is the guy who wanted to be named 'Mr.Cool Taro'
There was a brief scream of protest, then a
splashing sound as if a small animal were fleeing in
terror down a slippery slope. The three flying
creatures dropped onto the speeding master of
perversions like hawks on a particularly plump rabbit.
Huh? Happy turns into a rabbit?
Or just a figure of speech?
"Baka!" Nabiki clocked him on the head
again. "Don't drop me." She looked around. "We're
here. Set up camp. I expect my tea in fifteen minutes.
And dinner on the table by five."
"Ye . . .yes, Nabiki-sama." She smiled up at
him and he wriggled like a puppy getting his tummy
rubbed.
...Pathetic.
Gets what he deserves ^^
A match made in heaven, I assure.
"Of course beloved."
Shan P'u smiled slightly. "If Mu Sz good,
Shan P'u let wash hair."
"Really!" At Shan P'u's nod Mu Sz's eyes
glazed over in bliss. Was ever a man so fortunate as
he?
You're laying it kinda thick, I'd say.
"Beloved," a voice hoarse with strain came
around the rocks. "should you be doing that in your
delicate condition?"
Trotting around the rock Nabiki saw a
samurai standing in the middle of a forest of iron
spikes, staring up at the top of a bamboo pole.
"But Tati-chan . . .the view up here is so
nice." A very pregnant Kasumi stepped lightly across
to another pole, shading her eyes from the setting
sun. "Oh, look over there," she leaned forward for a
better view. "how pretty the sunlight is reflecting off
the water."
...Lovely
You've got some weird matchups, BTW
There was a groan, like a rusty hinge breaking
open and Kuno Tatiwaki turned a shade of green that
was usually seen only on July road kill.
...Tatewaki
"Oh no." Kasumi stepped off the pole, flipped
one in the air and landed lightly as a thistle.
Hn?
...When did she become a great martial artist?
I can't see Kasumi with a dedication to go through
such a heavy training.
...Then again, you never gave the timeline
for the epilogue, although it's clear quite a while
has passed(10-20 years?)
"Don't worry," Shan P'u reassured her
seriously. "Taro is one of the best martial artists in
the world and he's a good teacher
...Then again, almost everyone Nabiki knows
is one of the best martial artists in the world..
"Got you whipped already?" Nabiki laughed.
"What're you going to be like _after_ the wedding?"
"It's not like that," Rouga protested. "We're
just friends."
Huh? What happened to Akari?
"akane?"
umm.. need a capital A
"Akane get surgery now?" Shan P'u asked,
pulling Akane down between her and Nabiki as
Ranma sat on her other side.
Surgery?
doctor. Get fix. Have babies."
Getting Akane fixed? How that helps having babies?
*whap* Bad thought, Bad!
Notes
1) the names of Nabiki's children:
Shoukin: cash
Genkin: ready money, mercenary
Kinkai: solid gold
Pretty good names, sound good too.
The post-notes..
Maybe you should have explained some of that stuff within
the story dialogue.
You didn't give much in the internal workings of people, either.
Also Didn't see Ranma anywhere in this(Not that he was really necessary, but
I'm heavily pro-ranma ^^ )
In the Pantyhose-taro storyline Shamps DOES actually try to kill Akane,
btw..
Although that is almost a single incident.
Hm.