Don't know who James is? Go to my website? Don't have the addy?
Look at the tail end, or heck, just ask me! Doesn't word wrap?
Set your e-mail to forcefully wrap incoming messages. Remember
now, this isn't finished, so be ready for more. I figure I'm a
third of the way there, not counting the fight scenes, so stay
tuned.
And while I'm here, I have a few things in the pipe for C&C, just
have to finish them up and send them out... Well, keep it real,
and keep it fictional! (And while you're at it, no real NEED to
keep it strictly anime...)
#####
James Rahn: n. person.
a. Time traveler. b. Dimension hopper. c. Lost idiot.
---
James Rahn jumped.
This was not to say that he performed an act of physical
exertion which caused his body to move opposite the current
direction of gravity for a brief period of time. This actually
meant that he had changed the quantum tionic state of all the
particles in and about his persons, and stabilized them to the
frequency of another dimension.
For the sake of simplicity, he called the act 'jumping.'
This time, he materialized above a water hazard.
"Oh Shiiiii-"
James Rahn had arrived in Nerima.
---
Insanity Productions presents
Infinite Lives...
Infinite Realities...
Infinite Evil...
A Fanfiction Work By Rick Spiff
The Traveler.
An oddity of unexpected 'dimensions.'
Disclaimer: As per usual, I know nothing of these characters...
okay, I know a bunch but I don't own them and this work is
non-profit anyway. May be distributed freely over any media as
long this document remains complete. Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted by
Viz Media and the creation of Rumiko Takahashi-sama. No
disrespect, just entertaining people by writing an (hopefully)
interesting story. God bless.
---
Look at the stars someday. If you can see them from outside your
house, they are worth looking at. Each one a shining testament to
powers of creation in the universe, in it's infinite capacity to
breed life and knowledge in the interstellar winds. A majestic
light show Mother Nature puts on for free, every time the sun
dips below the horizon.
Such was a nightly event on the slightly abused, somewhat
stretched-out sphere of mud James Rahn called home. It was an
Earth like any other, and a place where James was mostly happy,
if not completely content.
His life was a simple mix of rather torrid affairs, confusing and
twisting as the deepest underwater crevasses ever uncovered by
brave explorers. His mother and father killed long ago in a
tragic automobile accident, his two sisters estranged against
him... the lost sheep of the family.
It was on this vast plane of existence that James Rahn had come
to carve out his little piece of life, which he was content to
live in under honest but often risky circumstances.
Like a wandering priest, this James Rahn carried with him a sense
of purpose and the intent of nothing but good everywhere he went.
Defending the weak and bringing justice to the unjust, this James
never stepped out of line unless the situation demanded it.
Like many others before it, a kind soul was chosen; given a role
of defense and justice that prevailed to all of James'
convictions.
It was almost a shame he'd never been given the option to accept
or decline.
And in an instant, he was bonded to a spirit with the powers to
'jump,' as it were, from dimension to dimension, finding diverse
forms of life and doing his best to help those who could not save
themselves, or those who were simply blind to their ways.
So every day he walks may be his last on an unfamiliar land, yet
he goes on, never quite reaching a goal; never quite needing
one...
---
Quick notes:
[Signs, Genma-panda signs]
<Thoughts>
_Emphasis_
(flashbacks)
'-chan' designates Ranma's female form, also used as a close
familiar in the Japanese language.
'-san' is a respectful term, Mr./Mrs./Ms.
Lengths are in metric (mostly, I'm a half-breed), about 1.5
kilometers to the mile, a meter is three feet, and two and a half
centimeters to the inch.
Weight sometimes follows suit, 2 pounds per kilogram, or 'kilo'.
Have fun and read the notes at the end!
---
Part 1 : James in Nerima.
text ver 0.5
Coughing, sputtering, wet, confused, and cussing excessively in
three different languages (English, bad English, and horrible
Japanese), one James Rahn came crawling ashore a peacefully full
canal in the middle of Nerima. Had he realized where he was, he
probably wouldn't have cared. The water in his left ear was
really getting to him, and it had been a long week indeed.
"Of all the..." He muttered aloud.
Quite some time passed before the out-of-sorts traveler had
calmed enough to be approached by someone not wearing a suit
guarded against extremely caustic chemicals. By that time, James
have went from direct, vulgar, and extremely loud insults all the
way down to very lame, slightly religious slurs. This was fully
for two reasons. One: He didn't really have much of a religion
himself, and didn't bother to make any slurs towards anyone
else's. It wasn't something he was inclined to argue/debate
about. Two: The specific slur he had uttered that made him
finally stop with the ranting was particularly lame, meaning
something close to 'that cow isn't as sacred as my cow, though it
doesn't make much of a difference.'
The rant was forgotten, however, as more and more of a certain
somebody's energies were diverted to removing one really stubborn
water particle from his left ear.
In James' vast experience, water usually went about it's own
way, only influenced by other environmental or physical factors
directly. Water did not specifically attack him. Water didn't
single out anyone person for punishment, come to think of it.
That was excluding the one guy just standing there staring at the
tidal wave about to crash down upon him, but water was acting
like a force of nature in that instance, weeding out the bad
stock.
Water DID NOT deliberately stick itself in a very important and
vital place necessary for the comfortable continuation of life
and STAY THERE no matter WHAT the targeted human tried. It just
didn't.
Water, was simply not a living thing.
He was just about to inform the water of that fact when he felt
someone approaching. He stopped, and looked to see who had come a
knocking. Standing in front of James was an Asian youth,
seventeen, maybe eighteen years of age. He was about 172
centimeters tall, maybe seventy five kilos, well built for a kid
his age. Black hair, tied into a pigtail in the back, and he was
even wearing a nice red silk shirt with the sleeves rolled up,
and a pair of loose and comfortable-looking black pants.
"'Cuse me, man. But are okay?"
James himself was just a few inches taller, and a good ten kilos
heavier, with a bigger build. His face was ringed with a number
of nearly invisible scars, marring his otherwise perfectly normal
face. He had blond hair trimmed short out of necessity even
though it looked perfectly normal for him, and was wearing what
used to be a white long-sleeved dress shirt and charcol colored
kahkis. A simple hip-pack contained his 'equipment.'
James looked at his clothes (unfortunately tattered and torn
upon arrival) and stood up slowly. Hmm, nothing broken. "Yes, I'm
quite all right, just a little wet. Umm... this may sound like a
damn weird question, but where am I and what is the date?"
The kid didn't seem at all surprised at the question... unusual.
"Tokyo, in Japan. Nerima ward? It's August. August 10th, 1996."
"Excellent. At least I'm on earth."
That _did_ seem to confuse the boy a bit. "If ya don't mind me
askin' are you a... Hibiki?"
James paused to identify the word. As far as he could reason, it
was simply a name. By this boy's use of it, a family name. "No.
Why? Do I look like one?"
"Uh, not really. You just sound like ya have their sense of
direction." He scratched the back of his head.
"No. My name is James Rahn." He paused, as if expecting
something. "I'm a sort of traveler, but sometimes I don't know
where I'm going."
That sounded a bit like a Hibiki to Ranma, but he didn't press.
After all, Ryouga usually knew where he was going to go, and got
lost anyway... "Umm, I'm Ranma Saotome. Nice ta meet ya."
"The pleasure's all mine, I assure you. Say, is there some place
I can get cleaned up? I didn't plan on being... tossed into a
canal today."
"Oh, I _know_ what you mean. Sure, I'm going over to Tofu's to
get this looked at." James didn't quite follow what Ranma
gestured at. "He won't mind if you wash up there."
"This 'tofu' is a person?"
"You're obviously not from around here." Now that Ranma was
moving, James could see that he was walking with a slight limp,
and seemed a little roughed up himself. He didn't notice this
earlier because of his surprise and anger at landing in the water
freshly upon his arrival. He _could_ use a shower, however.
"Nope."
---
Tofu proved to be a quite experienced and very nice doctor, who
knew Ranma fairly well. He seemed surprised, in fact, to see
James dripping wet (well, really more of an excessive dampness by
now), and Ranma bone dry. He took that look to mean that Ranma
usually showed up soaking wet, especially with Dr. Tofu's
comment. 'Usually it's Ranma who shows up soaking wet.'
A discussion was quickly struck up, Dr. Tofu being the curious
type.
"You're from where?"
Explaining, this James didn't mind doing. "From another
dimension. An alternate plane of reality, if you will."
"How is it that you can travel here?"
"I... jump. Shift. Phase? It's kind of hard to explain, and very
dangerous. I've heard stories of some who have tried using
machines... those experiments didn't end very well."
"Well..." Tofu seemed at a loss for words. It was something so
simple to James, even though he'd jumped what, a half dozen
times? It �was- a little strange to try and wrap your brain
around the concept if you had never heard of or experienced it
before.
"I know. I was the same way when I first found out. It's
different then you think it is... might be..." He paused, ever so
slightly confused. It was just a _little_ hard to describe
dimension-hopping, and assuming that this man had done it before
could only be described as an act of monumental stupidity of the
likes only witnessed by James himself. "...I mean-"
"Is it like the Nanban mirror?" Asked Tofu.
Predictably, James was at a loss.
"Well, it's kinda hard to describe." Said Ranma.
"Nanban mirror? Dimension shifting device? Takes you to
alternate worlds? How?" James reminded himself to stop babbling
and waited for the hard-pressed teen to answer.
"It... can take you where you want to go if you ask it right.
It's magic... um, when I used it, it showed me a future where
Ryouga had... married" he almost choked the word out. "Akane."
Akane? Ryouga? "Soooo. Magic, you say? Do you have it?"
"No, after I broke it, the old lech took it back."
Item: One magically-powered dimensional movement device, broken.
Item: One 'old lech' in possession of said device. Item: 'Old
lech' he didn't understand.
"Say who?"
"Happosai." Ranma spat out the word with more than a small
measure of disgust.
"Are you looking for this mirror?" Chimed in Dr. Tofu.
"In a manner of speaking, yes. Just for examination purposes."
"I can understand."
James looked at the Doctor a little harder. "You can?"
"I'm curious about the biological uniqueness of Jusenkyo-cursed
people because it's beneficial to their health and my
effectiveness as a Doctor. You are curious about other devices
which allow inter-dimensional travel because they can directly
affect you and the relative health of the dimensions around you."
"Y'know, you're pretty damn smart, Doctor."
"Well, around here you become accustomed to thinking about these
kind of confusing things."
<Something... Missing something... aha!> James riased a finger.
"Jusenkyo-cursed?"
"Umm, that's a little personal. Is it imperative for you to
know?"
<Me?> "Well, I've never trusted magic much, and if any
Jusenkyo-cursed people are involved with magic, it would be nice
to be educated about them, least I be... surprised." Ranma looked
a tad offended, but James didn't notice.
"Well, magic is the very device by which Jusenkyo curses
operate. Listen carefully."
Dr. Tofu proceeded to explain in detail about Jusenkyo curses.
Curse: An alternate physical form which the person changes into
with the application of 'cold' water. Process is reversed by the
application of 'warm' water, but only until next time. Of course
there just had to be several Jusenkyo cursed people nearby, among
them Ranma himself (girl). His father, Genma Saotome, who worked
at the clinic for Dr. Tofu (a panda, of all things). And several
others that James didn't want to hear about, but listened
intently anyway.
He wanted to get the mirror.
All told, the explanation was thankfully quick, taking maybe ten
minutes to finish, during which time Tofu had some patients to
attend to.
James had been taking good notes. Him and Ranma decided to leave
for the dojo, but first Ranma had something to explain to him
while they waited for the doctor to finish with another patient
and get a book James had asked for.
They sat more or less alone in Dr. Tofu's waiting room,
conversing in low tones as to not disturb the doctor in the next
room.
"So what now?" Asked Ranma.
"Do things ever seem... off?"
"Off?"
"Odd, unusual. Y'know, around here?" For some reason, James felt
odd attempting to communicate the definition of unusual to
someone who changed sexes with the application of water, but
having seen things even weirder in the short time he'd been
'jumping' had prepared him for strange things. Besides, Ranma was
a martial artist and had to have some idea about the 'feel' of
this place.
"Well," He scratched the back of his head. "Uh... you'd have to
define 'off'."
<Oooh.> "Well... never mind. On to the next order of business.
Clothes."
"Clothes?"
"Yes. I need you to take me shopping." <As if you can't _see_
all the mud on my formerly new shirt!>
For some reason, Ranma looked downright uncomfortable.
"Shopping?"
"I've never shopped in Japan. And on that note, I have no...
yen, is it?"
"How are you going to go shopping then?"
"I didn't say I was broke." Said James with a smile.
"Aheh... oookay." Said Ranma. "What are you going to do first?"
James stood. "First, we go to a large bank and see if I can get
some dollars changed into yen. Second, we go to a reasonably
priced clothing store and I buy a new set of clothes." Thirdly,
figure out what was wrong _here_.
"Why are you holding your pants like that?"
"It involves a psycho, a sickle blade, and the word
'castration.' I believe you don't need, and certainly don't want
to know the rest."
"Uh, sure thing."
<Of course the bastard would have to cut the fucking BUTTONS
off!!!> James began ranting inside his head.
---
After a quick stop at the bank to exchange currency (for some
reason, neither James nor Ranma trusted the local money handler,
Nabiki, any more than they could... well, they could throw her
quite some distance...) and another stop to obtain new, clean,
_functional_ clothes, James was the picture of happiness. Well,
as happy as one could be, walking around in a foreign country
with no idea where home was, or whether it was worth trying to
get back there.
James and Ranma did a lot of walking. In fact, it looked to
James as if Ranma had never ridden in a car before. He probably
wouldn't much care for it anyway; he looked like a nature-loving
martial artist to James. James wasn't about to drive anything
himself anyhow. One: It was too expensive and the vehicle usually
got destroyed anyway. Two: The traffic in Tokyo was bad enough
without him clogging the road.
While walking this distance, they did their fair share of
talking about what's what, and learning a bit about each other.
Actually, James was doing most of the talking, virtually
interrogating Ranma about the various aspects of life about
Nerima-ku. (Author: I'm pretty sure the suffix �ku means 'ward'
as in Nerima is a ward of Tokyo; a suburb. If it's wrong, blame
my English teachers.)
The one thing he kept coming back to was... well, it was how
screwed up Ranma's life was. Hell, it was worse than his!
"Ranma, your life sounds even worse than mine on occasion!"
"How so?"
"Eh? You don't think so?"
"Well, I'm just wonderin'."
"Oh, not having a permanent home, little family, enemies abound.
Mine's just a bit more confusing, that's all."
"Heh, confusing? Try changing genders every time the weather
turns."
"Speaking of which..."
"Oh shit."
---
James was a little amused at Ranma's attitude while soaking wet.
Sure, there was the normal 'crap, I'm all wet' deal, but in
Ranma's case is was more like, 'crap, I'm a girl again.'
He still thought it was funny.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing. I just think I could get to like this place."
As they closed in on the Tendo dojo, James could tell from afar
that this was one structure that suffered major damage on
frequent occasions. None of the patchwork could have been more
than a year old, and there was even one hole in the roof that was
only half finished as of their arrival.
And then there was the neighborhood itself. James was always a
little of a nature-man himself (James the monk was an oxymoron,
even if it wasn't too far off), and approved of the non-invasive
architecture abound every corner. Fair size parks dotted their
path back to the dojo, and the whole place just seemed... well,
peaceful, compared to home. Besides, with the rain scrubbing the
world, the air smelled sweat and clean and inviting. Just the
kind of place that James wouldn't mind spending the rest of his
life.
"RANMA SAOTOME, PREPARE TO DIIIEEEEEEE!!!" A loud cry issued
from a pair of healthy lungs.
James barely threw himself out of the way of the incoming
projectiles fast enough, but still managed to tear his clothes in
no less than three locations.
"Okay, he dies." Muttered the traveler, feeling somewhat abused
after enjoying this world for only a good two hours. Not that he
would seriously consider killing the boy - he'd just beat him
badly - but still! His clothes! His NEW clothes!
Then a yellow and brown blur shot by James on a collision course
with Ranma-chan, screaming something about vengeance and fighting
the red-haired girl while holding onto what James was quite sure
fit the description of a red bamboo umbrella...
"Hold it!" He shouted hotly. Someone was going to pay for this
shirt.
"What? How dare you interrupt me while I am extracting vengeance
from this bastard Ranma!"
At this point it was beyond obvious that this guy had something
with Ranma. So, of course James had to point it out. "What the
HELL is wrong with you! You just trashed my new and totally cool
shirt!!!"
"Ah..." Nervious now? What was with this guy? "Gomen. I was
trying to-"
"Kill Ranma. I caught that part."
"Who are you?"
"Death, vengeance, American, and _VERY_ pissed off." Now it was
James' turn to attack.
This turned out to be less foolish than it first seemed. Ryouga
was unnaturally strong, for a _human_, but James found he still
had the edge in speed as they exchanged blows. Ryouga was
parrying a lot of good stuff from James even with one hand on his
umbrella, and James was using anything on hand as a weapon in
addition to his own fists. First came blocks of concrete which
were crushed to powder almost by _touching_ the umbrella. Next
came a stray lamp post (James wasn't quite sure how it had gotten
loose, but he got Ryouga to stand under it when James knocked it
over). After that came walls, lawn furnature, rubble, bits of
someone's bicycle, a shop curtain, several rocks, then a wooden
chest...
Then the rain _really_ started to come down.
James leaned aside a powerful blow launched by Ryouga, grinning
as his oppoenent was suddenly forced to be a lot more careful in
covering himself from the downpour and still continue the fight.
The heavens were weeping, but it was unclear if and who they were
cheering for. Luck was on James' side, as he slid combo after
combo through Ryouga's hurting defense to slam the young martial
artist with powerful techniques.
Which were brushed off like the blows of insects.
The two remained at an impasse, moving as a pair of blurs while
millions of falling drops of water filled the air between them.
Both easily adjusted to the change in their environment, but
Ryouga was hurting for having to cover himself constantly from
the water. James took note of this, but continued his non-stop
assault seemingly without giving it a second thought.
Ranma-chan remained back a bit, still following the two on a
haphazard course through most of Nerima. James was good. Very
good, even against Ryouga, but he was holding back a LOT. Maybe
he was enjoying this? And what on earth was up with Ryouga? By
now he would have turned tail and ran, being at such a
disadvantage in the renewed rainstorm.
Ryouga launched a couple of lunge-punches, forcing James back,
who responded with a quick sidestep and a few elbows at point
blank range. Then James feinted for the umbrella, full-well
knowing of Ryouga's curse from how the Lost Boy covered himself.
Ranma had left little hints here and there too, something James
was a master at picking up on. Ryouga countered instead of
blocking, nearly catching James with a quick knee. James twisted
and slammed his left fist into Ryouga's face ten times in the
blink of eye, just before the lost boy could step back, mostly
unhurt. James looked down at his fist.
"Tough crowd." The Traveler commented.
Ryouga merely growled in reply and charged James again, who
leapt away and up on the fence of a nearby property, one that
happened to have a pond in the yard. Ryouga followed grimly,
umbrella still held stiffly, and attacked James from the ground.
Ranma-chan was close behind and could see the events unfolding
from an ideal vantage point as she gained the fence as well.
Hey, she was home.
Sure enough, Ryouga caught sight of the Tendo dojo through the
hated rain as he made the fence as well, and turned to face the
insolent American, who was grinning like a million bucks. Not
that Ryouga would know the expression, but knowing James, the
explaination would come to him later anyway.
Ryouga lifted off with a couple of quick kicks to keep the
faster man at bay, then pulled back as James bent his body around
the whole barrage without blinking and nearly caught Ryouga's
shirt front.
"Hah! Damn, you're pretty good!" Shouted James excitedly.
"Just hold... still and... fight!" Ryouga managed to shout as
James let out his own flurry of kicks in response. Clearly he was
having fun fighting in the rain. And where had Ranma-chan run off
to?
Unfortunately, that lapse of concentration was to be Ryouga's
downfall. The rain had been getting stedily worse over the last
two minutes of James and Ryouga's fight, and as Ryouga slowed a
bit to search for his original target (not completely ignoring
James), James had an idea.
An evil idea.
James pulled back and rolled his shoulders against the cold,
taking a second to curse the rain on his new clothes, then put
his plan into motion. He shot forward like a bullet, catching
Ryouga off guard, forcing the boy back against a hail of blows.
James pulled back just as Ryouga regained a solid stance and
proceeded to go all out a foot shy of actually hitting the lost
boy.
Before Ryouga or even Ranma-chan could see what James was up to,
a sudden swell of wind from James' techniques caused the rain
next to Ryouga to go sideways. No totally prepared for a blast of
cold water, Ryouga was caught unawares and desparately blocked
with the umbrella. In the split-second opening, James leapt to
the yard below, by the pond.
Ryouga poked his head out, seething, and followed the man down
to the yard. He never saw it coming. In the instant his eyes
locked on the Tendo residence, James slammed two open hands into
the koi pond, driving a single stream of cold and dirty water
right at Ryouga.
This time the umbrella did not come in time.
"Bweee!" Said the small black pig angrily.
"Well, well, well. Looks like I win."
---
Lightning barked outside, occasionally lighting up the great
dulge of water that was pouring down on Nerima as though God had
decided to weed out the 'evil people' again. The Tendos were warm
and inviting people though, and although James still felt a bit
like a bug under a microscope, at least they had dropped their
outright suspicion after he had explained why he was here.
"This is my fifth jump, Tendo-san." James said to Nabiki's
latest question.
Genma-panda held up another sign. [Are you sure you aren't here
to kill anyone?]
"Not unless it's absolutely necessary. I don't like killing
people."
"What about that guy that slashed up your 'jeans' earlier?"
Piped up Ranma-chan to keep herself in the conversation.
"I had considered it, but it would be a little foolish to kill
over clothes."
Ranma-chan glared at P-chan.
James rolled his shoulders. His shirt had dried a bit, but he
was itching for a hot shower. Then he remembered where he was,
and decided it was wise to bank on the Japanese in this world
preferring baths. Hmm, a hot soak would do him some good too.
"Any other questions?"
The rest of the round table seemed oddly subdued. Nothing
unusual about a dimension-hopping man with a tattoo on his arm
that sometimes glowed and stung like a mother fucker.
Must happen all the time around here.
"I have one." Said Ranma-chan slowly. Nabiki was already halfway
to her room, and the two elders had set up a board game near the
open doors at the west end of the house. Beyond, James could see
the rain continue unabated, and silently wished for a bath.
"Shoot."
"How did you hold off Ryouga like that?"
"Fighting style or tenacity?"
Ranma-chan's face scrunched up in a way that meant plain
distaste. James was temped to laugh, as it looked so out of
place, but he still remembered that Ranma was a boy, not a girl,
and somehow managed to hold a straight face.
"Hmm, where did you learn to fight like that, for starters."
"Ahh, style. Lots. I just picked it up here and there, few
clases, independant practice through high school, then I really
got into martial arts just in the last four years or so. Picked
up a couple of local trophies where I lived, then dropped out of
the competitive circle. I kept up the practice, though. It's been
a godsend since this whole loony trip started, and I've learned a
LOT moving from place to place." He paused, barely aware that he
was rambling. "Did you have a specific question?"
"That wind thing you did to move the rain."
James stood, dripping a healthy amount of water around. "Let's
go outside, I'll demonstrate."
Ranma-chan nodded and followed the Traveler outdoors into the
rain. Akane stood inside cuddling her P-chan close. She thought
about going outside, but P-chan didn't seem to like James-san
very much, even though he seemed like a nice guy. Besides, she
had homework to do.
Kasumi stood slowly and moved toward the kitchen.
Yes, a peaceful day at the Tendo's.
James cross-blocked with both arms, catching the full force of
Ranma-chan's kick on his guard, then stuck out viscously at his
moving target before she could hit the ground and move in on him.
The pair were battling back and forth with abandon in the thick
of a raging storm, sharing in something they both enjoyed
immensely, a good fight. Ranma-chan clearly had the edge in speed
and a lot in form, but James made up for his lack of physical
prowess by way of awesome skill and experience, and a great
variety of ingenious moves that had left Ranma-chan shadow boxing
once or twice.
There was no question his opponent was learning, mused James,
but it was the pace that worried him. Twice he'd changed his
pattern to keep her small but dangerous fists out of his guard,
and twice she'd adapted, remarkably fast. "Try this!" James
shouted as he did a quick spin of out range of a pair of round
house kicks and launched the move he'd came up with when fighting
Ryouga.
It was something that had just come to him in that instant,
after the train incident nearly a week ago, and his many years of
swimming for fun and sport, then finally, in the rain just a few
moments ago. His hands cupped and moved in a complex pattern even
as he stepped back, sending a stream of wind at the approaching
figure, blowing an almost solid sheet of water at the girl.
She leapt, twisted, James rolled, and his heel bit into the wet
earth hard, tearing up a good amount of perfectly good grass. It
looked healthy, though. No real damage done (to the grass, that
is). James lashed out with a few quick punches that were blocked
or dodged with great ease. Ranma-chan countered to his advance
with a series rapid side kicks that James totally ignored as he
moved sideways, striking for her head again.
Ranma-chan felt the move coming, and moved her head aside as a
fist whistled past. A second punch made a glancing blow off her
side, and she turned quickly preparing to hit James with
something hard and painful when a hand came out of nowhere and
smacked her in the head with a palm strike.
James hopped back as Ranma-chan flailed to the ground, dizzy
from his hit. <A good martial artist, but lacking focus.> James
thought.
The girl stopped spinning a quickly righted herself. Then, she
drew up her guard and came slowly toward James with a scary smile
on her face. "Like _this_ is it?!" On the word 'this' she moved
her hands in imitation of James' new technique, sending a
blinding spray of water at his face. James ducked, then ducked
again as a kick whipped over his head. He rolled, bouncing to his
feet smoothly, and threw out a ridge hand from the very limit of
his range, then followed up with a dragon tail, intending to
catch Ranma-chan in the knees.
Ranma-chan narrowly missed the first strike, then went airborne
to dodge the second, leaping away from James to give herself some
distance. Too late, she realized she'd been had. Another, more
powerful, blast of air hit her hard, an unblockable wave of force
that threw her the distance of the yard, clean over the koi pond
and into the fence on the far side of the yard.
James himself seemed a little amazed, staring at his hands like
they had just aquired a mind of their own. "...Never thought it
could be that powerful!" He said out loud.
<Exactly!> Thought Ranma-chan. She charged James all out now,
covering the ten meter gap in less than a second, but stopping
far short of hitting the arrival.
"Chestnut Fist Invisible Hand Strike!" She called out, both arms
bluring as she used the freshly modified move on James, who still
stood in amazement that someone could cover so much ground so
fast.
<A VERY good martial artist.> Thought James just before a
hurricane force tossed him through the wall of the dojo.
"You didn't have to hit me that hard." Said James. Yes, a bath
it was, and a very relaxing one, even if James wasn't used to
sharing it was someone else. At least the she was a he now.
"You were the one who suggested we spar to try that one out."
"Silly me, I should have practiced it more before I tried to
teach someone else that one."
"How long did it take ya to learn it?"
"I just came up with it while fighting your 'friend,' Ryouga."
The sound of dripping water, a deep sigh.
"Just came up with it-" Ranma snapped his fingers. "-like that?"
"Yeah. Doesn't happen much. I'm surprised it's even _possible_
to do something like that."
"Oh, it's certainly possible." Ranma mused. "But only with a
_lot_ of practice."
"You could say I've been getting a lot of that lately. I've been
here what, three hours? I've already been in two killer fights,
nearly demolished a house, and been through two sets of clothes."
"Your pants were cut up before you got here."
"Yeah, but other than that, my outfit was okay until that little
dunk in the canal."
"Heard that one before." Muttered Ranma as he left the bath to
James.
Another deep sigh. <I could get to like this place.>
---
As pleasing as the bath was, James had to get out sooner or
later. He did consider how rude it would have been to stay
indefinitely. Unfortunately, his clothes were a mess, only his
pants pulling through in wearable condition (and even that was up
to debate). Ranma was offered James one of his own chinese
shirts, a blue sleeveless deal that James fit into with only a
little space to spare. It did occur to him that Ranma was just
being nice about learning a new technique, and doubly so since
James didn't have anything personal against Ranma.
Besides, James was just that kind of nice guy.
Night came uneventfully, and despite his pleading, James ended
up spending the night on the couch (he begged to go elsewhere for
quarters, but...). With the dawn light, Kasumi found the living
room empty. There were a set of well-used blankets on the couch,
but no sign of James-san. Having lived with martial artists all
her life, Kasumi quickly deduced that the new guest was outside
practicing.
She was not far off. James was outside, but he was not really
practicing martial arts, but meditating. Not meditating about
martial arts. Every since his little trip had begun (some two
months ago, by his count) things had just gotten weirder and
weirder. After the mess of gang-wars he'd faced down in the last
dimension, he felt something was getting to him. Maybe the stress
from repeatedly stepping through the fabric of time and meeting
many alternate versions of the same punks, gangstas, serial
killers and general nutcases was getting to him. Yeah, that might
be it. Whatever the reason, he was firmly under control, and felt
much better just by BEING here.
What wonders fresh air did for the soul.
Done with his angst for the day, and not even six in the morn,
James set to do some balancing katas from his position on the
roof of the dojo. Yes, the roof.
Odd guy.
Forty minutes later, Ranma came flying out of the second-story
window courtesy of the Genma Express and the ordinary Tendo
morning had begun.
"Guess who made breakfast!" Akane declaired proudly from the
head of the table. Genma was human again, thanks to a quick save
from James, who was sporting new buises. Ranma looked nonplussed,
and strangely male for a change.
The Tendos and Saotomes (excluding Akane, of course) looked at
the self-proclaimed chef in mass horror. Suddenly begging off
urgent business at seven in the morning, the remainder of the
table fled. James glanced around a bit in confusion as Soun
muttered something about a fiance's duty. It was still way to
early by James' standards, because even with the very meaning of
time bent and twisted around the new turns his life had taken,
James was still James and it was still early.
"I'll have some." Offered James helpfully. Early, but James
never turned down free food when he was indefinately without
house, friends, or relatives.
"Are you insane?!!" "That's great!!!"
James' eyes bugged out. <What the hell is going on here?> He
straightened his thoughts out before Ranma could open his mouth
again, adverting another mallet disaster unknowingly. "What? It's
not like it can kill me."
Ranma shook his head once, side to side, slowly. Then it went
down very quickly under the full force of the dreaded Akane Tendo
mallet attack.
Maybe disaster was not adverted so easily.
The one sometimes refered to as the kitchen destroyer turned to
James with a million-watt smile. "Hold on just a sec and I'll
have you set."
Before James could raise even his voice in question, a hot
(read:recently flambed), pile of... something dark and ugly was
shoved in front of him on a plate.
<Ooh, a plate. I didn't think they'd use many of these in Japan.
Hell, you always see people eatin' out of bowls and stuff,
usually miso soup. Yeah, miso sounds pretty good right now, even
some of that... whatcha callit, sushi, yeah! That sounds pretty
good too. Neat breakfast they serve here too, nice style. But
this... this...>
"James-san? Are you going to try some?"
James blinked. Damnit, he was doing it again, and Akane's
cheerfulness was looking a little strained. He boldly grabbed his
chopsticks, greatful for numerous late-night lessons in foreign
fast-food consumption during his college daze. Quick he put one
bite of the... <food? Is this really food?!> stuff in his mouth,
and chewed quickly.
Stars erupted behind his eyes, his brain felt like it was being
stampeeded by a heard of elephants. The world twisted and
distorted, his tongue tried to jump out of his tightly closed
mouth. "Mmmm." He paused, forced down the bile. <Gotta make this
look good!> He didn't dare roll the... (he was still trying to
find a word to describe it, toxic waste didn't do this cooking
justice) er, stuff around his mouth. Time to swallow...
_GULP_
<Ugh. Even worse going down.> James though dejectedly. Well, not
like the food would get any better, but even he knew better than
to insult a female's cooking so blatantly as to... urm, later
with that. He especially knew better when they put on this much
charm with whatever they cooked.
"Fantastic Akane! Here Ranma, take a bite! We have to be off
soon anyway, but keep up the good work!" James spewed out in one
slush of words, jamming a bite of the concoction into Ranma's
mouth for not giving him a more thorough warning. Then he bolted
to his feet and grabbed Ranma's school bag in one swift motion,
not knowing in the slightest it was Saturday despite Ranma's
cries to the very fact not long ago when his father had awakened
him for training. Then they were gone in a cloud of dust, only
Ranma catching the gentile smile on Akane's face. The one that
made her look so cute...
Five blocks away, James halted as though he had stepped into a
puddle of superglue and began doing a nice imitation of a drunken
frat guy in someone's bushes. Ranma himself didn't look so well
either, but between having faced this horror before, and the
elation that James had: One, made Akane smile, and two, Got them
out before any damage could be done, combined to give him the
strength needed to stay on his feet.
"My God!" James shouted after reviewing his seven course meal
from two days ago... but not continuing as a fresh bout of
'Ralph' syndrome caught him. Ranma just stood there and tried to
look half-amused (which was the usual for him) and half-innocent
(which never worked for him, but at least he was trying not to
get arrested for defacing someone's property).
By the bushes, James continued to salute his shoes.
At this point the author would like to apologize for the number
of disusting and misplaced jokes that have just occured. If you
would like a refund, remember this fic is non-profit. Hmm, which
pretty much puts and end to this author's apology, since asking
for money to fix the problem would be slightly... er...
illegal(?) here.
We now return you to your fic, already in progress.
"Damn, man! You could have warned me!!!" James was unhappy. This
didn't happen all that often, but when it did, he felt the need
to search for a responsible party (some kind of genetic urge, he
swore), not himself, to blame for the whole thing.
And Ranma universally got blamed for everything, so...
"It could be used as weapon for crying out loud! That was food
at one time in recent history?! Unreal! This stuff is-"
"James?"
"Yes?"
"You're shouting."
"Oh, yeah. But, you see where I'm coming from?"
"All too well. Look, I told you and all, and you tried it
anyway, so it _ain't_my_fault_."
#####
--
Later,
Rick Spiff
Master of Insanity
Living Proof that College Makes You Insane
"I'm not a self-made man, I'm a mistake! I'm an American! We
arrive broken in damaged shipping crates with crappy plastic
tools. Assembly required, batteries not included." - James Rahn
The Teachings of Rick-
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Subway/1888/
Yeah, gotta change the .sig 'fore long...
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