For those unfamiliar with the series,
http://www.uh.edu/~rpm/sw/
Been a while, hasn't it?
-Rod M
The day began much like any other day in the household. A
pattern had quickly been established after everyone found
employment; however, on this day, there were going to be
two aberrations from the norm...
6:00 a.m.
Washu woke up, ate a breakfast comprising of some unknown
carbohydrates mixed with milk, went back to her room, then
began experiments of an unknown nature. This was normal.
At least, for her this was normal. For scientists across
the universe, what she had cooking in her room was the exact
opposite of normal. But still, it was normal for her.
6:30 a.m.
Kyosuke woke up, headed to the bathroom, and took care of
his morning ablutions. This too was normal.
6:35 a.m.
Kyosuke tried to wake Urd up, since she and her odd way
of teleporting was how they got to work. This involved lots
of knocking, nothing more. There were two girls back home
that would kill him otherwise. After all, this was all
caught on camera.
He was fully prepared to cover his eyes at a moment's
notice. Urd had a tendency to wear... revealing sleepwear,
and the last thing he needed was to be caught on tape ogling
at her.
All of this was, still, normal.
6:45 a.m.
Nuku-Nuku woke up, springing about in the hyperactive
manner that they all became accustomed to. However, being
the only person up and about quickly deflated her
hyperactivity as it usually did.
Realizing it was her turn to cook, she cheered up again
quickly. She liked cooking.
Especially fish.
Mamoru Chiba woke up, greeted by a cheerful "Good morning
Tux-boy-kun!" from Nuku. At this point, he was beginning to
give up home that they'd ever stop, and merely sighed in
reply to her.
Ranma and Ataru would've woken up, normally.
They didn't.
7:00 a.m.
Mamoru went for a jog. As usual, the neighborhood women
greeted him happily, a little too happily for Mamoru's
comfort. He was, after all, spoken for, and some of the
women were married as well.
Nuku, Urd, and Kyosuke shared a rather uneventful but
pleasant breakfast.
Aside from Ranma and Ataru not being there, this was
normal.
7:30 a.m.
Urd arrived at the office, with Kyosuke in tow.
Nuku-Nuku arrived for her duties as waitress, too early
and too cheerful, as usual.
Mamoru Chiba spent a nice quiet breakfast at the corner
International House of Okonomiyaki with the Tokyo Street
Journal.
Ranma and Ataru were still sound asleep. Even though it
was their day off, they still would've been up by now. This
was easily explained: Ranma had a run-in and marathon battle
with Ryouga, while Ataru stayed out until late chasing
women.
This was not normal.
At approximately 8:00 am, the house disappeared.
This was also not normal, and a bit tougher to explain.
===================================================================
http://www.uh.edu/~rpm/sw
=The [sur]Real World=
PART 8
Moving Day / No Need For a Neighborhood
===================================================================
-*-
It seemed like it was going to be a rather routine day at
the Masaki household. This was, in Tenchi's eyes, just
fine. There was a long list of things regarding space,
royalty, and marauding evildoers with a grudge against Jurai
that he'd pretty much had his fill of.
His current task, farming the fields, was just fine for
him.
It had, in fact, been rather quiet for a while now,
especially with Washu taking that break to go somewhere, in
her words, where Mihoshi wouldn't be.
Tenchi took a brief moment to take a look over the lake
and enjoy the scenery. He believed that not enough people
did that, and it'd be a better world if they did.
And then a house suddenly appeared.
It was a familiar house to Tenchi, the white, two floor
structure. After all, it was where Washu was staying.
And it was, currently, about fifty feet in mid-air, right
over the lake.
Though that was changing, and fast.
---SPLASH---
Ah, thought Tenchi, it was going to be one of those days.
-*-
8:00 a.m.
Wrapped in a bath towel and nothing else, Ataru peeked
out from the bathroom with an irritated look on his face.
"Hey! What the hell was that? We havin' an earthquake
or some.... some... er..."
The school of fish that had been swimming outside the
window at the end of the hallway chose this moment to swim
away.
"Er..."
A red-headed pig-tailed girl swam by the window, looking
irritated. The bit about swimming seemed to nag on Ataru's
mind.
"Um..."
He took a deep breath and shook his head. Nah, couldn't
be. Putting those odd visions aside for a moment, he went
over to his room, opened his door, and got hammered by a
tidal wave of water.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
-*-
"Good morning, Mr. Chiba!"
Mamoru turned, smiled, and waved to yet another neighbor
as he walked down the street. Walking around the
neighborhood these days felt more like a celebrity parade,
with him being the float.
Every other house, it seemed, had a housewife or daughter
out to wave at him as he walked by.
"Good morning, Mr. Chiba!"
Turn. Smile. Nod. Wave.
Repeat as needed.
Well, at least they weren't all over him like idol singer
fans. Still, it was an eerie effect.
As he turned around a streetcorner, said hello to yet
another neighbor, nothing caught his eye. He paused, looked
down the street, and blinked.
No...
Oh no...
"The... the house..."
"Oh, good morning Mr. Chiba!" greeted the neighbor, a
Mrs. Kawasaki, or Kaworu, or something. Mamoru really
didn't remember.
"Good... morning. Did... did you see... did you see
where my house went?"
"Oh goodness yes," said the housewife. "It just went
*poof* suddenly. Startled poor Miki-chan."
Miki-chan? Oh... her dog.
"Poof?" asked Mamoru.
"Poof," replied the neighbor most solemnly. "I called
the police, but they didn't know what to do."
Mamoru's teeth clenched. His fists trembled.
"MY CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"
-*-
Tenchi smiled nervously. "So, Washu-chan, what brings
you back?"
Washu shrugged. "An accident."
Those were the first words from an annoyingly dry Washu
to a soggy set of housemates.
Washu, Ranma, and Ataru sat by the lake, looking at their
submerged house. Tenchi was just there to see what these
people were doing there.
Ranma, while not happy, was somewhat used to this sort of
thing. At worst, he displayed a little irritation and
occasional harsh glares at Washu.
He didn't need to yell.
Ataru was doing the yelling for him.
"An accident?!"
Young Moroboshi was also used to these things. Unlike
Ranma, if he was going to be dragged into things, he was
going to be dragged kicking and screaming.
"Just like the squid in our bathroom," he ranted. "Or
the black hole that manifested in our toilet?! Or the time
Saotome and I got turned into PINK DUST?!"
Washu shrugged. "Accidents happen. You're fine now,
aren't you?"
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" shouted Ataru. He pointed
angrily at the small bit of rooftop was above water level.
"THAT'S OUR HOUSE!!!"
Washu waved a hand dismissively. "Right, right, I'll
take care of it, okay? After lunch, I'm hungry. Hey
Tenchi, Sasami's making breakfast?"
Tenchi nodded, and Washu smiled.
"C'mon, boys," the mad scientist said. "Let's get in the
house. No use staring at the lake all day."
Ataru raised an eyebrow. "Sasami?" All arguments were
quickly pushed aside in his mind with the promise of meeting
a new girl and some breakfast. "Let's go!"
Ranma grumbled and followed.
"Hey, Saotome, where were you earlier?" asked Ataru.
"Er, got lost the woods, yeah."
Ataru looked at Ranma doubtfully. "Okaaaay."
-*-
Settling down in her cubicle with a steaming cup of
coffee and a stack of letters, Urd settled into her chair
and prepared to start the workday.
With a merry little tune humming from her lips, she set
down the letters, pulling one out at random. With more
ceremony than necessary, she grabbed the letter opener,
twirled it in her hand, and came to a jarring stop as the
phone rang and ruined the moment.
Urd sighed.
"Urd, Goddess of Love. How may I help you?" She smiled.
//Urd? This is Chiba.//
"Hey, Tux-boy! Howyadoin? Problems with yer little
Lolita?"
//DON'T CALL ME TUX-BOY! And the age difference isn't
that bad, dammit.//
Urd giggled lightly and turned in her chair, facing the
outside window. "Take it easy, Tuxy," she teased with a
slightly sultry air. "What's up?"
//Was there anything unusual this morning? Did you or
Kasuga see anything odd at the house?//
"Well, no, not really. Why?"
//It's gone.//
Urd blinked. "What's gone?"
//The house.//
She blinked again. "That's funny, I thought I just heard
you say the house was gone..."
//THE HOUSE IS GONE!//
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
//What?//
Urd regained her composure and ran a hand through her
hair. "Nothing, never mind.... wait. The house is GONE?"
-*-
"You're Washu's friends from the TV show!" Sasami smiled
as she laid out breakfast. She always did like to meet new
people.
Ataru's smile seemed a bit stressed. "You're....
Sasami-chan?"
She nodded happily. "Nice to meet you!"
Ranma immediately put an arm around Ataru, his hand
landing neatly around Ataru's neck.
"Don't even think about it," Ranma said quietly.
"Oh please," replied Ataru. "I'm not a pervert."
Ranma snorted.
The trio, along with Tenchi, took a seat at the kitchen
table, while Sasami went back to the kitchen to bring out
more food.
"So, this is your place?" asked Ranma.
Washu shook her head. "His place. I just hang around
here."
"Oh." Ranma left that topic as it was. He could relate.
Sasami brought out more breakfast, and a pleasant meal
was had by all. As they ate, something seemed to bother
Washu tremendously.
"Is there something wrong?" asked Ataru.
Washu frowned. "It's quiet. Too quiet." She looked at
Tenchi curiously. "Where are the girls?"
Tenchi thought for a moment. "Ah... Mihoshi's on patrol
with Kiyone."
Washu breathed a sigh of relief.
"And the other two are out in the woods, I think," said
Tenchi.
"The woods? What're they... nevermind, I'll find out
myself." Washu closed her eyes, concentrating for a moment.
"Ah. Yes. But why are they doing that?"
Ataru raised an eyebrow.
"The girls haven't done it in a while," said Tenchi.
"And I think it was starting to drive them crazy. I told
them to go ahead, but just not near the house."
Ranma blinked in confusion.
Ataru was suddenly not there.
-*-
Ryoko was in ecstasy, utter and total ecstasy. It'd been
so _long_ since they'd done this and she now realized that
it went beyond differences.
Her body ached for this.
She _needed_ it.
And as she looked into Ayeka's eyes, she knew the
princess felt the exact same way.
"AYEKAAAAAAA!"
"RYOKOOOO!"
Suddenly, the world around her was burning. Her skin was
on fire, the sky was on fire, everything was on fire. That
was okay - Ryoko was a masochist.
She grinned through the feeling, as she twisted and
turned in the air.
Nice new trick the little princess had.
Ryoko had her own tricks too.
"HYAAAAAH!"
A fiery, blazing energy beam soared through the air,
singing trees in its wake. It smashed into Ayeka's shield,
but somehow the barrier held. The princess smirked.
This was no good. Was she actually getting stronger?
Ryoko was given little time to ponder that as Ayeka
unleashed another blast.
This time Ryoko didn't dodge.
If Ayeka could stand up to a full blast, she'd be darned
if she wouldn't either. It was a matter of pride.
"Hey baaaaaaaaaabe!"
Ryoko blinked. Suddenly, there was this boy, soaring
through the air, towards her with a stupidly lecherous look,
and...
**ZZZZZAP**
Right in the path of Ayeka's blast.
-*-
"HA!"
"What's so funny?" asked Tenchi.
Washu smirked and shook her head. "I'll explain it
later."
"Hey, um, Washu?" asked Ranma.
"Ahem."
"Washu-chan? Shouldn't we be trying to tell the other
guys what happened?"
"Nah. We'll be back before they know it. Trust me."
*MYAH*
And suddenly Ranma was not there.
Washu scratched her head, blinking at the Ranma-shaped
hole in the wall. She looked down at the her furry and
confused cabbit and asked, "What was that all about?"
Ryo-oh-oki shrugged.
-*-
"OUR HOUSE IS GONE?!"
Urd patted Kyosuke on the back, soothingly. "Now now,
kid, take deep breaths."
"It... it... it what?" Kyosuke took a seat in the guest
chair in Urd's cubicle, looking pale. "Did... did anyone
see anything?"
Urd shook her head.
After a moment of hesitation and lots of blinking,
Kyosuke shakily stood up. "I... I... I'm gonna be right
back." He quickly walked away, nearly running through the
cubicles, corridors, and doorways, until he found a phone
booth with a door he could close. Nearly fumbling with the
change, he pounded in the number to his home.
And he tried to calm down.
//Hi, Kasuga residence!//
"Kurumi! Tell me you didn't visit my house!"
//Huh? Why?//
"The house disappeared."
//It's not my fault!//
-*-
Once more inside the Masaki household, the pirate and
the princess sulked on the sofa. Their long-awaited stress
relief interrupted, they found themselves suddenly not in
the mood anymore. Around them, Washu checked on Ataru,
while Ranma just sat quietly.
"Feh," spat Ryoko. "The moment's lost."
Ayeka shook her head sadly. "I know, I know, just when
it was getting good. Who'd have guessed the galaxy's
biggest lecher would appear here?"
"Scared the heck outta me," said Ryoko.
"Oh well. Same time tomorrow?" asked Ayeka pleasantly.
Ryoko nodded. "Oh, certainly."
Tenchi sighed. "Ayeka, Ryoko, can't you try to get
along?"
Much to his surprise, both girls looked mildly offended.
"Hey, Tenchi," said Ryoko. "Ain't we been getting
along lately?"
"Indeed," said Ayeka. "Hasn't it been quieter in the
house?"
"Well, I guess..."
Ryoko clenched a shaking fist, raising it to her face as
she closed her eyes. "Putting up with that stuck-up
attitude, that arrogant face..."
Next to her, Ayeka did the same. "That lazy, vulgar,
rude..."
And then they both turned their stares at Tenchi.
"We need to fight!" they both shouted. The princess and
the pirate turned to each other with maniacal smiles.
"Right?"
Tenchi sighed. "Oh boy."
Meanwhile, Ranma quietly went over to Washu and tapped
her shoulder.
"Hm? Ataru's fine," she said. "Real durable, this guy."
"That ain't it," said Ranma. "This Tenchi guy... these
girls... they his fiances?"
Washu blinked. "Ah... sort of. Not exactly."
Ranma nodded. "Oh. Know how he feels."
-*-
"Woooow! Mamo-chan's house is gone!" Usagi ran around
the empty lot, astonished, while the rest of the Inner
Senshi stood around and looked with general confusion and
Mamoru just sulked where his car used to be.
"It's _really_ gone!" she said again. "Could it be...
another plot by beings from another world?!"
Rei scowled. "Why yes, they'll win the hearts of all of
Japan by broadcasting The Real World: The Negaverse."
Usagi gasped. "That's an evil plan!"
"I WAS JUST KIDDING!"
Mamoru sighed.
"Hey, Tux-boy, this your little harem?"
Ami and Usagi blushed, Minako blinked, and Rei and Makoto
focused deadly glares at the tall, platinum blond Norweigan
who strode sexily towards them.
"H-harem?!" yelled Rei. "We're not his harem!" Beside
her, Makoto scowled and cracked her knuckles.
Urd smirked. "My, touchy. Ah, Tsukiko-san, nice to see
you again!" She took a seat next to Usagi, grinning slyly.
"So, how's the Tuxedo treating you?"
"Oh, he's being nice," replied Usagi cheerfully. "How
are you?"
Urd shrugged. "Oh, just homeless. Swung on by to see
if maybe I could find a few clues... hey, why's he so glum?"
"Tux-boy lost his new car," said Usagi. "It was in the
garage."
"Ouch."
"Please don't call me Tux-boy," mumbled Mamoru.
Urd blinked, then turned to Usagi. "How's Tux-chan
sound?"
Usagi smiled. "Tux-chan!"
Mamoru sighed.
-*-
Tenchi stared at the lake, puzzled.
Somehow, it seemed...
"Teeeeeen-chi!"
The boy stiffened slightly as Ryoko materialized behind
him, her arms around his neck.
"What'cha lookin'at, Tenchi?"
"The lake... is it just me or..."
-*-
"So how long is it gonna take to put the house back?"
asked Ranma as he walked behind Washu.
"Oh, not long," she replied, walking down a hallway.
They came to a stop before a familiar looking doorway,
though with nails, tape, and a sign that said 'DO NOT
DISTURB' stuck on it.
"Hey, ain't this-"
"All my doors look the same," said Washu. "I just like
being consistent. Anyway, I just need to get into my lab
and-"
"Your lab?" asked Ranma. "But ain't it in the lake?"
Washu shook her head. "That's just a dimensional gateway
I stuck on the wall. My lab is really in another dimension
entirely."
Ranma blinked.
"Never mind," said Washu. She snapped her fingers, and
the door was clear. Washu opened the door casually, then
suddenly got hammered as a massive flood of water exploded
from the door.
-*-
"... or is the lake a little lower?"
"Lower?" Ryoko blinked and peered at the waters.
"Hrm... maybe."
Tenchi scratched his head. "This can't be-"
And then the door to the house shattered open, a massive
flood of water bursting from inside. Sasami, Ayeka, and
Washu were hurled out of the house on the waves of water,
tumbling, screaming, and soaking wet.
Tenchi blinked.
Ryoko blinked.
"I just wanna say," the space pirate said to Tenchi,
"this ain't my fault."
-*-
Ranma clung desperate to the ceiling of the hallway,
breathing heavily. Below him, the flood of water continued
to pour from Washu's door.
"That," he said between ragged gasps, "was a close one."
Carefully, he crawled along the ceiling, heading towards
the staircase and hopefully drier spaces.
Just as he inched towards the stairway, Ataru's face
popped into view.
"Whoa! It's flooding in the house!" Ataru yelled.
"It ain't my fault!" yelled Ranma.
"Saotome?" Ataru blinked and looked around, finally
seeing Ranma clinging to the roof. "Wow, what skill!"
"Aw, shaddup!"
-*-
"I hope the monsters didn't take the house because they
knew Mamo-chan's secret identity! Oh no!"
Rei signed and rubbed her forehead. "I SAID I WAS
JOKING!"
Urd poked Mamoru's shoulder. "Yo, Tuxy, they always like
this?"
"Mm-hm. And don't call me Tuxy."
The eldest Norn smirked, watching the two girls bicker
on. She suddenly had a nagging feeling. "Hey, by any
chance did you date any of these other girls before?"
"That's none of your business," he grumbled.
Urd nodded in a sage-like manner. "Aaah, so Tuxy's
always had a taste for young stuff, I see."
"Hey!"
-*-
While Ataru was possibly the most lecherous boy in the
universe, he wasn't entirely a jerk. There was an unusual
streak of chivalry in him, hard to find but one that
surfaced occasionally. This was the only explanation for
him helping Sasami haul soaked furniture and clothing
outside to dry.
"So, let me get this straight," said Ataru. "Your
sister, Ryoko the space pirate, Mihoshi the policewoman, and
even Washu-chan all want.... him." They both looked
outside, where Tenchi was hanging shirts up on the laundry
line. "And he... hasn't made a move on them?"
Sasami nodded.
Ataru trudged onward, buckets in hands, a scowl on his
face. "Feh, what a waste. Does the man have no sex drive?"
"Huh?"
"Does he... ah..." Ataru looked thoughtful for a moment,
choosing his words with care. "Does he not like women?
Y'know? Not _like_ women?"
Sasami frowned. "He likes them."
"Has he kissed any of them?"
"No."
Ataru shook his head. "What a waste of a harem."
-*-
Within the hour, a legion of mini-Washu-bots had scoured
the place with... some sort of making-things-not-wet sort of
device... quickly restoring the house to order. Washu
watched the progress from the living room with a smug
satisfaction in knowing that, once more, nobody could have
done the job better than the greatest genius in the galaxy.
And then Ranma spoiled her fun.
"Hey, Washu!"
She looked at him, slightly pouting. "Ahem."
"Er... Washu-chan, I think ya oughta see the TV."
Washu followed Ranma, though she remained doubtful about
the prospects of seeing anything worthwhile on TV. "What
for? It's all reruns tod... oh."
//-missing today, leaving behind an empty lot. Neighbors
say the house disappeared around 8 a.m. this morning,
suddenly and silently.//
The Galaxy's Greatest Genius frowned. "Oh. They're
making a fuss, huh?"
"Chiba-san don't look too happy either," said Ranma.
Ataru suddenly popped up behind Ranma, looking at the
television. "Aaah, what an ingrate. He's got a harem too,
see?"
Washu shook her head. "Well, I guess I'd better call
them."
With a wave of her hand, a translucent hologram of a flat
screen monitor appeared before Washu. Next to it was a
keypad, which Washu tapped casually. A moment later, the
word <<CONNECTING>> appeared on the screen.
"Hey, what's that?" asked Ataru.
"I'm phoning home, so to speak. No E.T. jokes, wise
guy."
Ataru looked hurt. "Who? Me?"
-*-
Usagi tugged on Mamoru's sleeve. "C'mon, Tux-chan, let's
get something for lunch. We can't do anything just sitting
here, right?"
"I guess so, Meatball-head," said Mamoru, shrugging.
"Let's go."
"Great idea," purred Urd. "I know this nice restaurant
nearby, we can bring the kids."
The collective Inner Senshi bristled.
"Hey hey, just joking," Urd said breezily. "C'mon, let-"
A gigantic translucent computer screen appeared from
nowhere, right in front of Urd's face. In it, the gigantic
image of Washu's face appeared.
It all appeared very suddenly.
//YO!//
"Waaah!"
Urd nearly fell back in shock, then straightened up and
stared at the screen. "Washu-chan?"
//Hi, everybody!//
"Where the heck are ya?" asked Urd.
"And where's the house?!" asked Mamoru.
//Funny you should mention the house,// said Washu, a
slightly nervous grin on her face. //I was tinkering with
an old time/space warp engine and, aheh, well, things
happened.//
Mamoru sighed, while Urd rolled up her eyes.
"So where's the house?" asked Urd.
//Oh... a few hours outside of Tokyo,// said Washu.
//Don't worry about it, I'll have it back in an hour or two,
okay?//
Urd nodded in satisfaction. "Righto, Washu-chan. Seeya
then."
//Seeya!//
Mamoru rushed up to the screen. "But what about my-"
And suddenly the giant screen disappeared.
"-car?!"
Urd patted Mamoru's back. "Hey, don't worry about it,
Tuxy. I'm sure she'll have everything back to normal."
Mamoru's frown deepened. "I've got a bad feeling about
this."
-*-
With nothing to do while Washu ironed out the details on
how to get home, Ranma and Ataru wandered off to kill time.
Ranma headed to the surrounding forests to explore, since
the surrounding area reminded him of the days he spent on
the road training.
Ataru did what would be expected of the Galaxy's Biggest
Lecher: he annoyed the women.
*******ZZZZZAPPP*******
"AAAAAUGH!"
//Sorry, Mr. Moroboshi, but we are under orders to keep
you away from Princess Ayeka.//
Ataru shook his head, quickly getting his wits back
together. He'd just been hit with massive jolts of
electricity, very familiar ground.
"A-a-aaaaagh."
While it was painful, the electric shocks also made him
feel... nostalgic.
He shook that line of thought quickly and stumbled away
from Ayeka's room, shaking his head sadly. This was the
first time he'd been kept away from a woman by sentient
logs.
"Oh, Moroboshi-san!"
Turning, he saw Sasami standing nearby, looking at
him curiously. "Hm? Oh, Sasami-chan!"
She shook her head and tsked. "Onee-sama already likes
someone else, you know."
He laughed and scratched the back of his head. "Well,
she's not married, is she?"
"Moroboshi-san..." She frowned and crossed her arms,
tapping her foot in a somewhat joking display of irritation.
He laughed that distinctive laugh of his and continued
walking away. "Just kidding, just kidding. So, what're you
gonna do today?"
Sasami smiled held up the short rod in her hand. "I'm
gonna try fishing," said Sasami.
"Fishing? Aaah. Have you ever gone fishing before?"
Sasami shook her head.
"Ah. It's easy, I'll show you. There's nothing else to
do anyway..."
Moments later, the two were sitting on the pier, Ataru
peering down at the water while Sasami held her fishing pole
hopefully.
Ataru frowned and shook his head. "Hmm... I dunno..."
"What's wrong?" Sasami asked.
"I don't see any fish," said Ataru, rubbing his chin and
peering down as if he was a great expert of the wild. "I
wonder if the fish got scared away when the house
crashed..." He blinked and his voice faded as he turned and
noticed Sasami frowning at him with disapproval.
"You scared the fish away?" she asked, a tone of
disapproval in her voice.
"Me? Wha? Hey! It wasn't my fault!" yelled Ataru.
"Really! It wasn't!"
Sasami pouted a while longer, then broke into giggles.
"You sound like oneechan and Ryoko," she said with a smile.
At first Ataru smirked, then turned away from her and
towards the water, his arms crossed, facing away from her
and towards the water. "Oh," he said with a mock pout in
his voice, "So you're comparing me to girls now?"
Sasami giggled more at Ataru's antics, but Ataru was
suddenly distracted by something in the water. Ripping with
the waves was the vision of a _very_ beautiful woman,
looking up at the clouds with a serene expression on her
face.
"Wha?"
He blinked, then looked up. There was nobody here but
him and Sasami. He looked down again. This time the woman
was looking down (up?) at him, pleasantly smiling. He
blinked with confusion again.
Sasami noticed his confusion and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Ah... who..." The logical part of Ataru's mind tried to
work the problem out. He walked over to Sasami, then looked
down at the water. His reflection was standing next to the
woman now, who was in turn looking at him with amusement.
Sasami finally peered down at the water, then said, "Oh.
Hi Tsunami." The reflection of the woman waved back at the
girl pleasantly.
Ataru blinked. This was a challenge. A girl that
existed only in the mirror world... how to kiss her?
He looked at the reflection once more with a calculating
eye, then stood up, next to Sasami, and waved his arm
several feet above her head. Reflected in the waters, he
saw his hand move through Tsunami's hair, her blue strands
sifting between his fingers. Tsunami blushed, turning coyly
away from Ataru's reflection.
"Oh ho," said Ataru, feeling on the verge of a very
important breakthrough. In triumph, he puckered up and
kissed the air above Sasami's head.
"Um, what are you doing?" asked Sasami.
In the reflection in the water, Tsunami turned bright red
as Ataru kissed her cheek, then disappeared with a flash of
light.
A rough female voice snarled, "WHAT'RE YA DOING, YOU
PERVERT?!?!"
And then Ataru was blasted by a massive bolt of energy,
struck into the air, then into the lake. Ryoko flew by
Sasami, utter and total rage on her face. "You... you...
YOU SICKO! YOU'RE GONNA FRY!"
Ataru emerged from the lake, spitting water and still
feeling the buzz of a thousand volts ringing in his ears.
"Ptui! Blech! *cough* W-wait! It's not what you think!"
And then dozens of miniature wooden logs materialized
around him, crackling with electricity.
This, thought Ataru, wasn't good. It was menacing,
certainly menacing, but the crackling lines of electricity
the logs were beginning to emit were menacing in a nostalgic
sort of way.
Ayeka suddenly appeared above Ataru, arms crossed and
battle aura blazing brightly. "To touch a member of the
Jurian royal family... in such a manner... HOW DARE YOU!!!"
Sasami waved her arms in a panic. "Onee-sama! Wait!"
Oh well, thought Ataru, might as well get this part over
with.
****ZZZZZZZZAP****
The sensation of an unhealthy amount of electricity
tearing through his body was, to be sure, a painful and yet
comforting feeling to Ataru, something that he would discuss
at great length in therapy sessions when he became an adult.
-*-
With a reluctance born of fear and experience, Ranma
knocked on Washu's door. He was ready to jump to the
ceiling in a heartbeat, having already dodged The Flood
before.
"Yo, Washu!"
A mini-Washu puppet popped into existence in front
of Ranma's face, arms crossed, looking irritated.
"Ahem," it said.
Ranma stared at it.
"Ahem!" it said again.
"Oh. Er, CHAN! Washu-chan! Can I come in?"
The Washu-puppet disappeared and the door opened by
itself. From somewhere deep within, Washu's voice echoed.
"Come on in, kid. Watch your step."
The inside was indeed... large. It was very large.
There were things here and there, shelve, large glass
cylinders, racks of computers, but there were no walls
visible, only endless darkness and a really clean floor.
A short walk away he could see Washu, sitting on a floating
chair, surrounded by floating screens, typing on a floating
keyboard... lots of floating things.
Nearby, he could see a heavily barracaded door. Through
the glass he could see a fish swimming.
"Do _not_ open that door," warned Washu.
"That one goes to the house?"
"Yep. What's up, Saotome?"
"Just wonderin' when we can get back."
Washu rubbed her chin in thought, then tapped a few
buttons on the keyboard. The floating monitor screens
changed their view to the inside of the house, where dozens
of mini-Washus could be seen at work.
"The rate my mini-Washus are going... an hour or two
more, I think. In a hurry?"
Ranma shrugged. "Nah, just wondering."
"Say, you're into martial arts, right? You sparred with
Tenchi yet?"
"Nah."
"You going to?"
"Probably not."
This statement surprised Washu, who thought that Ranma's
competetive streak was sure to lead him to a little
sparring. "Why not?" she asked. "You struck me as the
'spar anyone, get new experience' kind of guy."
Ranma crossed his arms, tilting his head to the side in
thought. "I've done stupid things in my life, okay, but I
learned somethin'. I look at that Tenchi guy, I see lots of
girl problems. I fight him, my girl problems might get
tangled with his girl problems, or I might even get some'a
his. Don't need it, don't want it."
Washu shrugged. "Well, if you say so."
"Tenchi'd just mop the floor with him anyway," said
Ryoko casually, gliding through the wall. She took her
usual place atop one of the rafters and lazily reclined.
Ranma tried to ignore the comment. It lasted for all of
three seconds.
"Whadayamean by that?!" he demaned to know.
Ryoko grinned. "Nothin', neeevermind."
Just at that moment, Tenchi walked in the door.
"Washu-chan, I-"
"Hey, wanna spar?" asked Ranma.
"Huh?"
As the two boys talked martial arts, Washu teleported
next to Ryoko. "Hey, what're you doing?"
The space pirate shrugged. "I don't like the guy's
arrogance, I guess. Tenchi took on one of the most powerful
beings in the universe, Bruce Lee Junior here won't be a big
deal."
"Yeah, but that's when Tenchi fights seriously," said
Washu. "Tenchi's father beats him up in practice all the
time, and you've got Bruce Lee Junior there all hyped up."
Ryoko waved a hand dismissively as Tenchi and Ranma
headed outside. "Tenchi'll be fine, just fine."
-*-
"Tenchi? Tenchi, can you hear me?" Washu looked over
the unconscious boy's form, frowning. They were in the
living room, with Ranma embarrassed, Ryoko infuriated and
Tenchi unconscious. She snapped her fingers and a pillow
appeared in the air, which she took and put under his head.
"What did you do?!" roared Ryoko.
"Hey, I'm sorry! It was an accident!" protested Ranma.
"He's not as good as I thought... actually he's kinda
fragile."
"He'll be fine," said Washu. "Just got the wind knocked
out of him."
"I don't get it," Ryoko mumbled to herself. "Tenchi
shoulda blasted him into the ground."
A mini-Washu popped into existence on Ryoko's shoulder.
"I told you so," it said.
"Aw, shaddup."
-*-
They all gathered by the lake, waiting for the moment
Washu would raise the house out of the lake. Washu floated
in the air, an array of holographic keyboards and monitors
surrounding her. Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami, Tenchi and Ranma sat
around a picnic blanket enjoying a bit of Brunch By Sasami.
Ataru was still unconscious.
Meanwhile, five mini-Washus popped into existence before
Washu, wearing pink, blue, green, black and gold outfits.
"You readdy to go, guys?" asked Washu.
The Mini-Washu-Five nodded confidently.
"Begin."
The golden mini-Washu stepped forward, her fist held
high. "Mini-Washu-Five, GO!" They zoomed into the air,
then dove into the lake.
"Ooooh, just like the Ultra Rangers!" said Tenchi.
Washu snorted. She doubted that the Ultra Rangers were
powered by a temporal quasar tap. Sure, an unfortunate
accident with those things could wipe Japan off the map, but
Mihoshi was safely Far Away.
A moment later, a massive spherical energy shield
emerged, with the Washu-Rangers and the house held within.
Finally waking up in time to see this spectacle, Ataru
rose, sighed, and stretched his back. He blinked as the
house rose above the lake, and nodded in approval.
"Ah. House. Good."
And then he saw Ayeka and Ryoko.
"HEEEY BAAAA-"
*ZAP*
Ataru fell to the ground, toasted. Ayeka and Ryoko blew
the smoke from their fingers, then resumed driking tea.
Sasami frowned. "You know, he really is a nice person
if you get to know him."
"Don't be gullable, Sasami," chided Ayeka. "You'll
understand when you're older."
The house rose several meters out of the water, and then
it did something that alarmed everyone. It began spinning
around, in random directions, violently.
"Heyheyhey! Waitaminute!" yelled Ranma. "You're gonna
break the house!"
Washu gave him a look that said the very idea was
stupid. "Break? Naaaah. Trust me, everything's fine. It's
in a gravity field of its own, so nothing's getting broken."
Having a nagging feeling about this, Ranma asked,
"So... is this spinning around really necessary?"
With a haughty laugh, Washu stood tall in mid-air and
posed dramatically. And then she said, "no, not at all."
Everyone facefaulted.
"Then why the heck are ya doin'it?!" asked Ranma.
"Why? Because I can! Ohohohoho!"
The boys sighed. This wasn't reassuring.
-*-
And so a holographic screen suddenly appeared inches from
Urd's face, causing her to fall out of her office chair
entirely.
//Yo!//
"DO NOT do that!"
//Do what?// asked Washu innocently.
"Nevermind."
Urd pulled herself up from the floor, dusted herself off,
then took a seat a comfortable distance away from the
looming hologram of Washu's face.
"What's up, Washu-chan?"
//House oughta be ready any minute now. Just letting you
know if you wanna catch its grand return.//
"About time, crabhead. I'll be waiting."
//Ciao!//
-*-
The newsroom was quiet this day.
Kyosuke Kasuga and his boss, Mr. Futamata, hadn't much to
do. Futatamta sat at his desk, putting the finishing
touches on his story, while on an adjacent desk Kyosuke was
digitally editing the photos he'd taken. Nearby, a bank of
televisions sat, tuned into all the major news stations.
Kysuke rose from his seat. "I'm getting some coffee.
Want any?"
"Sure. Tons of creme, and make me a diabetic," replied
Futamata.
"I'll be right back."
As Kyosuke walked by the televisions, one of them
flickered for a moment, then was replaced by Urd's visage.
//Yo, kid!//
Kyosuke stared at the TV screen. "Urd-san?"
//Let's go! Washu's bringing the house back.//
"But-"
//Yeahyeah, let's go!//
And without further ado, she yanked him into the
television.
With a sigh, Futamata rose out of his chair, heading
towards the coffee machine. "Kids these days..."
-*-
"Aw, how sweet, Tuxy-chan brought the kids again." She
said it teasingly, though without a trance of malice, but
Urd recieved mean glares from the collective Inner Senshi
anyway.
Mamoru just mumbled to himself.
Looking skyward, Kyosuke frowned. "So, is Washu-"
Urd ahem-ed, which got her curious stares from Kyosuke
and Mamoru.
"Well look," she said defensively, "if someone doesn't do
it, it just doesn't feel right."
Kyosuke thought about this for a moment, and realized she
was absolutely right. "So, er, is Washu-chan going to fly
it in? Drive it in?"
"Knowing her, tele-
****ZZZAP****
And suddenly the house was in the air, high above
them....
"-port... it... uh oh."
... and unfortunately above the neighbor's house, where
it came crashing down. They all ran for cover as wood,
glass and metal flew in the air accompanied by a cacophany
of noise as their residence effectively obliterated the
neighbor's residence in a devastating kamikaze attack.
And then Washu teleported in triumphantly.
"I'm baaaaack! Everything fi-uh oh."
Everyone turned to glare at her.
"WAAAAAASHUUU!!!"
-*-
And so after another hour of the Mini-Washu-Five working
frantically to repair the damage, all was once again normal.
The house was repaired, the neighbor's house was repaired,
and they declined Washu's offer to have the residence
powered by a temporal quasar tap.
Not trusting Washu, Mamoru took a tour of the house.
Meanwhile, Kyosuke, Urd and Washu relaxed in the kitchen
over freshly made tea.
"Back to normal at last," sighed Urd.
Kyosuke asked, "Aren't we skipping work?"
She gave him a deadpan stare. "Silence, boy. This is
good for you."
Washu stretched, sighed, and scratched the back of her
neck. "Y'know, I've got this feeling I'm forgetting
something."
"WAAAAAAASHUUUUUU!!!" bellowed Mamoru, storming into the
room.
"Ahem!"
"WAAAAAAASHUUUUU-CHAAAAAAAN!!!! WHERE'S MY-"
-*-
"Say, that looks like a car down there," said Ataru,
peering down from the edge of the pier.
Sasami peered down as well, staring hard. "It... kind of
looks like a car."
"Yep, that's Tux-boy's car," said Ranma.
"Was his car," corrected Ataru.
"Y'think Washu won't be able to fix it?" asked Ranma.
"Y'think Tuxy'd trust her to?" countered Ataru.
"Ah."
The Jurian princess blinked. "She forgot his car?"
"And us," added Ranma.
"Yep. Typical." Ataru dug in his pockets. "Hm... got
enough money for a train ride to Tokyo?"
"Train ride? Wimp. C'mon, let's start walking."
"Walking?!"
-*-
end part 8
-*-
Writer's notes:
Been a while, hasn't it? This is the part that wsa supposed
to be 'Sex Drive Muyo', but, well, it just doesn't fit the
story, now does it? No, not really. Sorry about the year
long wait, hope it was worth it. I don't know when the
next part will be out, but there WILL be a next part, don't
worry.
And if you wann guest-write an episode, we'll talk. Be
warned, though, I'm _extremely_ picky and critical.
Oh, thanks to all of you who've nagged me during the past
year, wondering when the heck part 8 will come out. I hope
I haven't let you guys down. :)
-Rod M.