Subject: [FFML] [GSC][Spamfic] 5MT Presents GSC Ch 0.3
From: Sam Brown
Date: 11/29/1999, 8:14 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Third and final part, as promised.  Thanks to everyone who mailed me
saying they liked these!  Now, which one to do next?  Hmmm...
Gunbuster?  *EVIL GRIN*

Little tip: Don't ever move house.  Particularly don't move house to
an area of Manchester named after a hallucigenic 70's kids TV series.
The van drivers think you're taking the piss.

I also just posted part 6 of 5MT presents El Hazard to RAAC, catch it
and previous parts at my site, URL at the bottom.

Ooops, just to be on the safe side as this is a spamfic...

  #pragma warning(disable:4786)

(and if you get THAT joke, you're a true geek... ;)

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Gunsmith Cats belongs to Kenichi Sonoda / Kodansha - VAP - TBS, and
they HAVEN'T said I can do this.  Be nice and don't tell them.  Cheers!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Black: We didn't find Radinov's body in the car, so despite my
  reassurances, she's probably still out there looking for revenge.
  Not that I know her personally or anything.

Roy: I get back from holiday to find _this_ waiting for me.  Thanks a
  _lot_ Rally.

Rally: Not _my_ fault, it was that crazy Russian bitch.

Roy: This one?

Rally: Yep.  She's probably dead though.

Roy: Then take this bag of tacky Hawaiian souvenirs and get out of
  here.

Rally: GRRR!  I take it back!  She's still alive and sticking knives
  into my car bonnet!  She'd better have good insurance... are you
  alright sweetie?  *MWAH*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

               5 MINUTE THEATRE PRESENTS : GUNSMITH CATS
                     Chapter 0.3: High Speed Edge

           Original screenplay: Atsuji Kaneko   Parody: Subi

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Rally: Well, there's a turn up for the books.  That nutjob Senator
  Haints wants to give us an award during some campaign rally.

Becky: He's the one who wants to ban guns isn't he?  Phhht, like the
  NRA'll let _him_ get elected.

Rally: But we can use this to tell him about the leak in the ATF, and
  that that Ginger Spice lookalike's still alive.

Radinov: Don't mind me, I'm just trashing this ATF safe house and
  mutilating myself to vork off some anger.  Actually, she's right.  I
  could do with a change of hairstyle. *CHOPCHOP*

May: Guess it's my turn to prance around in my underwear for a bit.
  And patronise Rally about her inability to find a boyfriend.

Rally: Like I _want_ to.  I hate high heels.  What do you want Collins?

Collins: Just your help again.  And for this policeman to leave me
  alone.

Policeman: Go away.

Rally: I second that.

Collins: Back at the office, a bit-part character has just told me that
  my boss is up to something nasty.  He was the leak?!  I would never
  have guessed...

Cathy: _Bit-part_?!  Can't I at least be a cameo?

Black: It's all true.  Didn't do me any good though, Radinov just did
  me in anyway.

Radinov: I love my job.  And I love setting booby traps for moronic ATF
  agents.

Collins: Bitch.  But at least I know who's behind all this now.
  Haints.  Who Rally and May going to meet.  Tomorrow.  Oh shit.  Shame
  I'm going to be unconscious for the foreseeable future.

Rally: Do you hear me complaining?  Actually, you do, but only about
  the fact that I'm freezing cold, been waiting for hours to speak to
  Haints, and that it's pissing it down.  And you're not helping
  matters Roy.

Roy: Sorry.  I think you're on.

Rally: At last.  Hi Collins, why're you bleeding?

Collins: I'm here in the nick of time!

Rally: And is that Radinov making an insane charge towards us with all
  guns blazing?

Radinov: Sure is.  I saw them do something like this in Reservoir Dogs,
  ain't it cool?  *BRAKABRAKABRAKA*

Rally: As we're the good guys, everyone _except_ us gets hit.  C'mon
  May!  She went into that big old house!

May: Okay!  Let's split up so it'll be easier for her to kill us!

Radinov: I'll vait for you on the roof.  Oh.  You found me.  Eat vater
  tower!  *BOOM*

Rally & May: ARRGH!

Radinov: And now eat knife!

Rally: ARRGH!  Again!  And that was my gun arm!

May: I thought only the bad guys got hurt?  Eat flash grenade!

Radinov: Yes, but in the big finale it's traditional for the heroes to
  be half-killed.  AAAOW!  Vhere'd they go?

Rally: Okay, let's recap.  I can't use my gun arm, and May can't use
  her hands.  We could be screwed here.

Radinov: If you think I'm gonna fall for these noddy little booby-
  traps, then yes you are.  I'll set one off just to confuse you, and
  then follow the trail of blood you're leaving.  Hmmm...  Hiding in
  the toilets are you?  Take this!

May: Wrong cubicle.  *BOOOM*  Guess that's her finished.

Haints: Meanwhile, I'm in a sulk because Radinov could've killed me as
  well.  Shit!  Radinov!  What're you doing in my office?  Hang on...
  This is a perfect opportunity for a bit of expoistion and then to
  kill her...  Blah blah blah.  *CLICK*  Empty.  Bugger.  And you're
  not really Radinov are you?

Kate: Nope.  Thanks for falling for this so quickly by the way, that
  wig was getting hot.  Bit of a cop-out ending though.  Still, who's
  complaining?

Roy: Not me.  Book him Danno.

Rally: Thank God that's over.  And who's Danno?

Radinov: I'm not dead yet!  PSYCHO FIREAXE ATTACK!

Collins: Appearing the nick of time once is bad enough, twice in a row
  is pushing credibility somewhat.  *BANG*  Actually, I _meant_ to hit
  the axe instead of Radinov, just to give Rally the pleasure of
  finishing her off.

Rally: Thanks.  I think.  *BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG*  I'm surprised
  my gun's not empty by now, considering how anal Sonada gets about
  accurate gun specs.

Radinov: Oh, it's still got bullets in.  I can vouch for that.  Urk.
  *SLUMP*

Rally: Hey!  I just realised!  I got though a whole gun battle without
  losing any clothing!  Shame you didn't get to see how sexy my car was
  this episode though...

May: Yes folks, life in America _really_ is like this.  Would anime lie
  to you?

Roy: I take it you haven't seen Mad Bull then?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

And finally, here's a conversation I had in my head last night...



ArtSubi: Okay everyone, if I could just have your attention for a
  moment...

CoderSubi: mov   in_here, arse

MusicSubi: What?  I couldn't hear him, whadisay?

ArtSubi: It has come to my attention that another aspect of us has come
  into existance.  Whilst I can't say I approve, particularly as I
  should be drawing those EVA:R' pics right now, there isn't really
  much we can do about it.  So please say hello to WriterSubi.

WriterSubi: Hi.

CoderSubi: As the aspect who earns the money round here, do I get a
  say in this?

ArtSubi: No.  Now go and stop MusicSubi eating the sofa.

MusicSubi: Aw.  *CHOMP*

ArtSubi: WriterSubi, welcome to the family.  Now repeat after me the
  Pedge.  "I will never..."

WriterSubi: "I will never..."

ArtSubi: "...do anything involving..."

WriterSubi: "...do anything involving..."

ArtSubi: "...Ramna 1/2 or Sailor Moon..."

WriterSubi: "...Ramna 1/2 or Sailor Moon..."

ArtSubi: "...that does not involve..."

WriterSubi: "...that does not involve..."

ArtSubi: "...the unspeakably violent death of the above named."

WriterSubi: "...the unspeakably violent death of the above named."
  Not even as a parody?

ArtSubi: Mabye...



subi@mono211.com
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Orchard/4834/

[end]


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