Hiroshi and Daisuke in: The Pavlov Response
a shortfic by Deunan(gte132q@prism.gatech.edue or deunan@aol.com)
with assistance by Kain The Seeker(kaintskr@aol.com)
I know script format is not "in" anymore but I couldn't figure a way to the
fic to run smoothly without it.
______________________
Ms. Hinako
"Hiroshi, Daisuke its time for your presentation."
Almost reluctantly, the two gathered up several folders and
made their way to the overhead projector at the front of the class.
Daisuke
"Well...umm..errr for our science project Hiroshi and I decided to do ours
on
the Pavlov Response."
Hiroshi
"If your don't know, the Pavlov Response is one that is instilled in a
creature due to regular application of stimuli. The most common example is
that of a dog is fed after a bell is rung. The dog will drool in hunger
when the bell is rung regardless if their is food or not."
Daisuke
"Due to the protest of Hiroshi's kid sister, we were unable to continue with
our experiment using her pet hamster. To make up for it, we restarted our
project using a human test subject and the hypothesis that the Pavlov
response can not be instilled on a creature with a strong enough will."
Hiroshi
"Our test subjects: Akane Tendo as the 'master' trying to instill
nonperverted
and non-jerk like behavior in the 'dog' Ranma Saotome. The stimuli used:
pain.
The class murmured in anticipation. Ranma and Akane tried to hide from the
view of their peers.
Daisuke
"We'd like to take this moment to thanks upperclassmen Nabiki Tendo for
allowing us to use her extensive collection of video tape, audio tape, and
typed transcripts of the activities of our two test subjects for the past
eighteen months.
Hiroshi
"As you all might wonder, what is nonperverted and nonjerk like behavior?
>From a purely subjective point of view we defined jerk-like behavior as
Ranma not: calling Akane names, insulting her cooking, not ingesting her
cooking, commenting on her clumsiness, commenting on her inability as a
martial artist, not striking her in sparring, withholding the truth,
and of course embarrassing her."
Daisuke
"We defined perverted as: fraternizing with other women, touching other
women in both sexual and nonsexual manners, attempting to kiss Akane,
attempting to beat up P-chan as the porker sleeps in her bed, looking at
women, talking to Shampoo, being found in a compromising position with a
women, talking to his guy friends about women, allowing Ranko to exhibit
unfeminine modesty' and generally having any sort of relationship with
someone other than another Tendo or Saotome...that's about it for that.
Hiroshi
"As stated before the stimuli was through the use of pain..."
Daisuke
"...namely the use of A) slaps, punches or kicks if the offense was minor
or B) Mallets or other blunt bludgeoning objects if the offense was major.
Hiroshi puts a view-graph on to the overhead. Its is of a line graph
steadily rising then leveling off at the top.
Hiroshi
"As seen here upon Ranma's arrival to Nerima Akane has been introducing
stimuli at a rapidly rising rate eventually peaking at an average of six
to eight 'beatings' a day on weekdays to ten to twelve on weekends.
Daisuke
"For most humans that would survive that punishment their fate most likely
would be that of a gibbering wreck living with a fear of pain trapped in
their
own mind as they cry huddled curled in a fetal position, life would be one
memory
of pain, destruction..."
Hiroshi
"We get the point, Daisuke."
Daisuke
"Sorry, Hiroshi...Anyhow based on the fact that Ranma has not changed his
behavioral patterns we came upon the conclusion that Ranma's will is too
strong to be controlled. A horse too wild to be tamed if you will."
The class didn't bother to laugh at the lame joke.
Ms. Hinako
"What about other variables?"
Hiroshi 'n Daisuke
"I'm sure we don't have time! Isn't their other presentations?!"
Ms. Hinako
"We've got all the time in the world."
Male Student
"Yeah! I wanna here what Ukyou, Shampoo and that Kodachi chick play into
this!"
Female Student
"And Mousse, Ryoga, and Kuno!"
Daisuke
"Well the guys...they're irrelevant...they don't inflict anymore pain in
Ranma than Akane. He's too good a fighter. When they do get hits in, its
insignificant to the number of times Akane has struck Ranma successfully.
And they sure as hell aren't kind enough either to undue any sort of
'training'.
Hiroshi
"As for the lovely lucious ladies...err...female variables...for Kodachi
and Shampoo each act of kindness that may upset Akane's 'training' are
negated by their own acts of violence. Ukyou on the other hand her
pain to kindness ratio is roughly 1 to 5. But, Akane has both a massive
head start over her in the 'pain' category..."
Daisuke
"Plus Akane's kindness to pain ratio is still higher that Ukyou's."
The class sat in mute silence.
Hiroshi
"We're done..."
The class ran evacuating the classroom.
Daisuke
"What's that blue glow?
Hiroshi
"What blue glow?"
Akane sat mutely in her chair emitting a blindingly powerful battle aura.
Akane
"HIROSHI AND DAISUKE NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They were awarded the Noble prize posthumous.